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FunTranscript
00:00You have a pizza.
00:10Linda, who is it?
00:16No one, darling.
00:20Cover for me, please.
00:22Hey, what the hell is that? Pizza?
00:24Are you out of your freaking mind?
00:26Come over here.
00:31Honey, it's not mine. It's a mistake.
00:35All you allowed are cucumbers and water.
00:39Remember that?
00:41Come on, breathe.
00:54So, what are you doing here, dude?
00:57I, uh...
00:59There was a glitch in the system.
01:01Hmm. Oh, so we got a free pizza.
01:04What do you got here?
01:06No, no, sir. This is not your pizza.
01:09There was a mistake in the address.
01:11This order is for the house next door.
01:16Ah, those smiths.
01:19His wife won't be able to fit through the door, you know.
01:24Okay, get out of here.
01:27Yeah, sure.
01:34If you ever come near food like that again,
01:37cucumbers and water will be all you eat for the rest of your life.
01:41You got that?
01:43All right, John.
01:45I don't hear that.
01:47Okay, darling.
01:49Good girl.
01:51Excuse me.
01:53What do you want?
01:55I don't know how to open the gate.
01:58Everything's on the phone these days, silly.
02:07Thanks. Bye.
02:14Have a nice day at work, honey.
02:20Listen, I just want you to be slim, you know.
02:23Yes, darling.
02:27Yes.
02:54Ow.
03:03You have to eat cucumbers to be thin.
03:05Yeah, Harvey, but I can't do it anymore.
03:08You have to exercise to be thin.
03:24Ah!
03:30It's you.
03:37What are you doing here?
03:39I'm sorry. I heard you were really hungry, but you didn't answer that door.
03:43Here.
03:46Oh, my gosh. Thank you. You're a lifesaver.
03:59Don't worry. This is Harvey, my friend. He's just a toy.
04:03Harvey is your friend.
04:05Uh, these are for other people, but you need to eat.
04:11I haven't had a decent meal in months.
04:14Happy to help.
04:16Hey, I'll be going.
04:18No. Wait.
04:21Stay with me and eat.
04:23I have to thank you and...
04:26Are you hungry?
04:30Water and cucumbers will be fine.
04:33Come in.
04:36So...
04:38Why you stay here?
04:40He obviously doesn't love you. He's just mocking you.
04:44No.
04:46He's nice.
04:48He just wants to see me in good shape.
04:51Oh, yeah, of course. He's nice.
04:54He's nice.
04:56He's nice.
04:58He's nice.
05:00He's nice.
05:02He's nice.
05:04He's nice.
05:06He just likes a pair of butterfly wings.
05:09He's nice.
05:11He just works for Taliban.
05:13Stop it!
05:21Tomorrow I will regret this,
05:24but today I'm happy.
05:32Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no. Be quiet.
05:39Hi honey. Hey, what's going on?
05:48I'm just watching a movie, chewing. Wait, what's that on your cheek?
05:59Um, it's, it's a lipstick.
06:02Lipstick that, huh? You know what, sweetheart? It's time for waiting. So get on the scale, I'm waiting for the results.
06:12Of course, honey. Bye.
06:21I'm so screwed.
06:22Why? Just tell him the weight is fine.
06:25Haven't you noticed? He's a tech geek. The smart scale will send him a message.
06:33So, how much did I eat?
06:36Uh, double pepperoni pasta, about a pound. Uh, plus a cinnabon, plus a soda, another pound.
06:44How much are you supposed to weigh?
06:46Hundred pounds tops. Oh no.
06:56I have an idea.
07:02How much does it weigh?
07:04Uh, like ten ounce.
07:10He's gonna kill me.
07:12Linda, I, I look at you. You're the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't torture yourself with this jerk.
07:22You don't understand. I can't.
07:29I have an idea. Where is the scale?
07:34Okay, it's about twelve gallons. That's approximately one hundred pounds.
07:52Approximately? I need to know exactly.
07:54It will be fine.
08:03No, no, no, no, no.
08:34Did you lose two pounds?
08:38Are you trying to cheat me, sweetheart?
08:51Thank you, Ken. I don't know what I would have done without you.
08:56Glad I could help. I throw this out of the way.
09:03Bye.
09:09Bye.
09:12Bye.
09:13Are you making a fool of me?
09:26What's going on?
09:27There must be cameras in there. And he saw you.
09:44There's no connection.
09:45And there won't be. It's over for both of us.
09:48Alarm mode. Alarm mode. Alarm mode. Alarm mode. Alarm mode.
09:55Harvey's your friend, huh?
09:57He's just a toy.
10:01Hey, don't worry. We'll figure something out.
10:06Alarm mode. Alarm mode. Alarm mode. Alarm mode.
10:17Linda!
10:21You!
10:24Sweetheart. I warned you. Don't try to fool me.
10:33Sweetheart, you know, honey?
10:36I'm just thinking about you, you know?
10:39I want you to be thin and beautiful, you know?
10:46Linda! Don't try to hide, huh?
10:55What the?
10:58It's too late to lose weight, honey.
11:10Ah, Valiant Knight has come to the rescue, yeah?
11:25You're gonna regret this!
11:35No, no, no. You made a mistake. You didn't hear him. He broke into my house. He's a criminal!
11:41There's all the evidence here, officer.
11:44What's wrong?
11:50I can't believe it's over. So, what am I gonna do now?
11:57Well, for the starters, we could order a pizza.
12:05You have to eat cucumbers to be thin. You have to eat cucumbers to be thin.
12:08Shut up, Harvey!
12:14You