• 3 months ago
George Forester is an annoying practical joker, who tries the patience of work colleague Frank Parker and his wife Laura. When the latest jape, involving the sabotaging of a business dinner party, costs Frank promotion and George's wife Julie goes to Edinburgh, leaving him alone in the house, Laura sees an opportunity to put an end to George's pranks for good.

Source: IMDB
Transcript
01:00You see, George has had to go to his mother's,
01:02so if you hadn't offered, there'd be nobody
01:03to fetch Peggy from the airport.
01:05Do you mind, Frank?
01:06No, not at all.
01:07Heathrow, here I come.
01:08Bye-bye, darling.
01:09Bye, darling.
01:11Don't rush.
01:12Lunch will be ready tomorrow.
01:13Right there.
01:30Can I do anything to help, Julie?
01:45Shall I do the salad?
01:46Oh, thanks, Laura.
01:47Oh, use marjoram.
01:48Marjoram?
01:49Peggy?
01:50Peggy?
01:51Peggy?
01:52Peggy?
01:53Peggy?
01:54Peggy?
01:55Peggy?
01:56Peggy?
01:57Peggy?
01:58Peggy?
01:59Peggy?
02:00Peggy?
02:01Peggy?
02:02Peggy?
02:03Peggy?
02:05Birdy?
02:07Peggy?
02:08Peggy.
02:10Peggy?
02:11Peggy.
02:13Peggy.
02:14Peggy?
02:16Peggy.
02:17Peggy?
02:19Peggy?
02:21Peggy.
02:22Peggy.
02:24People.
02:25Girls and men.
02:28Oh.
02:30Why not?
02:32There's no lettuce. It's a Greek salad.
02:37It's a Greek salad?
02:41Shall I do it? No, you get the lamb in.
02:44I may not have your finesse, but I do get there, eventually.
02:57Did you phone about Peggy's play?
02:59She left Edinburgh on time. He used some Greek cheese.
03:03Cheese? For Peggy?
03:06My little sister's down to 13 stone now. Those tablets are a great help.
03:11Anyway, I crumble the cheese into the dressing and she can have it or not.
03:20How did Frank's interview go?
03:22Well, he's playing a darn.
03:25Saying he won't get it, you know, Frank.
03:28But I think he stands a very good chance.
03:32I'm excited.
03:35When does George get back in his covers?
03:38George!
03:40George, you hate idiots!
03:45Your face was better than anything in Hitchcock.
03:48You like my pierced Nerissa's thing? Oh, it's horrible!
03:51Isn't it gruesome?
03:53It's a giveaway for ten packets from my new product, Horror Crisps.
03:57You want to try it on? Go away, George.
04:00That wasn't very clever. I might have killed you.
04:03No, no, I had my eye on the knife all the time.
04:06It added piquancy to the joke.
04:08Oh, come on, Laura.
04:10Where's your sense of humour?
04:16Your husband may be going to be marketing manager at Dairy Products,
04:21while I, talents unrecognised, remain a humble brand manager.
04:25But my Horror Crisps will sweep the children's market,
04:29terrorising all opposition.
04:33Is that it for today, George? Can I relax?
04:36You can relax, Laura.
04:38I can relax? What are you planning?
04:40Nothing. The emphasis was all in your suspicious mind.
04:43You promised not to do anything to Peggy.
04:45I wouldn't do anything nasty to Peggy.
04:47Peggy.
04:50Get us a drink, funny man.
04:56Your pleasure, Mrs Parker.
04:58Campari and soda.
05:00Just Campari and soda, George, please.
05:03Oh, I never tamper with anything as serious as drink, love.
05:06Last of the summer ouzo, darling.
05:15George.
05:17Cigarette, darling? I don't want one, neither do you.
05:20Just two puffs. Do my cough good.
05:24Put it out when it's halfway.
05:39Naughty. But nice.
05:48Ah.
05:56Yours, I think.
06:00Is there anything else?
06:02No, thanks. You sit down and relax.
06:04We have my studio and you do all the work.
06:06Not there. Why not? That's Peggy.
06:08Peggy's chair. The seating's all arranged.
06:10Oh, it's all right. I can get up when she comes. No!
06:14Lunch at the Fun House.
06:16What's next on the menu?
06:18Now look what you've done. Look what I've done?
06:21You've no idea how long I spent trying to get the dowels just right.
06:24It was exactly designed for her weight so that she would go...
06:27I'll never fix it in time.
06:29Good. Oh, Laura, don't be nasty.
06:31Me? You asked him not to play one of his asinine jokes on Peggy.
06:35You know how sensitive she is about her weight.
06:38I know, I know, but that's nothing. Nothing?
06:42I give up, Julie, I really do.
06:44Where's your sense of humour?
06:46My sense of humour is perfectly all right.
06:48I just don't find this funny. I find it cruel and childish.
06:51Ooh!
06:53One of these days, one of your jokes is going to go wrong, George.
06:58Put the chair in the cellar, Georgie.
07:00Get another one from the other room.
07:12DOORBELL RINGS
07:14DOORBELL RINGS
07:39DOORBELL RINGS
07:45Hello, 6205.
07:47Hello, darling, it's me. Darling.
07:49Are you ready to give the dinner party of the year?
07:52When?
07:54Oh, Frank, don't tell me tonight.
07:56You guessed. No, it's...
07:58It's Jack Stein, vice president of Europe, and his wife.
08:01They're staying on an extra day and I wondered if...
08:04What time? Eight for 8.30.
08:06Fine. OK. Wonderful.
08:08I know. Bye-bye, Muska, darling.
08:15Hmm.
08:35DOORBELL RINGS
08:39Chinese Laudley?
08:41Is Julie there?
08:43Laura, I told you never to phone me at all.
08:46Please, George, this is urgent.
08:48HE CHUCKLES
08:50Laura.
08:52Jack Stein.
08:54God.
08:56Tonight?
08:58Hmm. I got the latest watches, fresh.
09:00Look, do you know who we've given before?
09:02Have you gone... Bye, darling.
09:04Have a nice day.
09:06Have you gone...
09:08Have you gone and found some really nice avocados?
09:14DOORBELL RINGS
09:21Knock, knock. Here I come.
09:28Hey, Mum, here's my football book.
09:30Oh, where you left it?
09:32Under the bed.
09:34Go on.
09:36DOORBELL RINGS
09:38DOORBELL RINGS
09:42Hello, 6205.
09:44Mrs Parker? Yes.
09:46Mr Stein's London secretary? Hmm?
09:48I'm terribly sorry, but he's been called to an emergency meeting in Brussels.
09:52Your husband's taking him to Heathrow.
09:55I am sorry it's such short notice.
09:57Oh, well, I'm sure it can't be helped.
10:00Thank you for phoning.
10:02Bye.
10:08Bye, then.
10:10Dear.
10:39Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!
10:41Go to sleep.
10:43Read. Do what you like.
10:46It's my time now.
10:54Oh, God.
10:58Oh.
11:00Registry.
11:02Stupid.
11:05Stupid.
11:15Ow!
11:198, 9, 10.
11:21Oh!
11:23Oh.
11:25Oh.
11:27Oh.
11:29God.
11:31I knew we should have got a new one.
11:33Darling? I'm in here.
11:39Darling? Oh.
11:42This is Jack and Barbara Stein.
11:47Goodnight, Jack. Safe journey.
11:50Bye.
12:01Who are you phoning?
12:03Who do you think? George.
12:05Oh, Laurie, don't.
12:07That was no joke. That was malicious.
12:09Stein's understood.
12:10Yes, they thought I was an idiot being taken in like that.
12:13Oh, come on. The takeaway wasn't bad.
12:15It was whole. They didn't need any of it.
12:17I was so upset, I didn't know what I was saying half the time.
12:20They must have thought I was a scatterbrain loony.
12:22Don't phone!
12:23He's only trying to get his own back for that stupid chair.
12:26He's jealous of you. He's trying to ruin your career.
12:28Don't phone!
12:30He wants to hear you crying and upset.
12:32Why? Why?
12:34He'll only say, where's your sense of humour?
12:36Don't give him the satisfaction.
12:38If we don't react, it hasn't worked.
12:41Don't you see?
12:51I...
12:53I just...
12:55Oh, dear.
12:58Oh, we had a great time with Jack and Barbara.
13:00There's a funny thing.
13:02Laura had a fake phone call to say they weren't coming,
13:05but she had the meat in the oven, so she thought, what the hell?
13:09Wasn't that fortunate?
13:28PHONE RINGS
13:34Hello, 6205.
13:36Oh, hello, Mrs Parker. It's Carol.
13:39Mr Parker asked me to tell you there'll be two people from Brussels
13:43coming to dinner tonight.
13:45Oh. News of my Chinese takeaways must be spreading fast.
13:48I beg your pardon?
13:50Um... Is this a joke?
13:53Joke? Is he there?
13:55No, I'm sorry, Mrs Parker. He's out of the office all day.
13:58He did try and ring you.
14:00I've been out all morning.
14:02I'm sorry, Carol. I'm just a bit paranoid at the moment or something.
14:06At what time are they coming?
14:11Oh, hello.
14:26WONDERFUL PIANO MUSIC
14:32Wonderful smell.
14:34This is nice.
14:36Did someone tell you?
14:38Of course someone told me.
14:40Where are they?
14:42Are the people from Brussels?
14:46I had a phone call from Carol.
14:48Right.
14:50PHONE RINGS
14:53No. All right, Carol.
14:55Don't worry. Yes.
14:57Yes, I'll see you tomorrow.
14:59Bye.
15:06Someone left a note on her desk while she was out at lunch.
15:10I thought she'd spoken to you.
15:12No.
15:16What did you mean?
15:18What?
15:20Did someone tell me? Tell me what?
15:22I didn't get it. The job.
15:24I thought all this was to cheer me up.
15:26Oh, darling.
15:28No, no, no. I'm a bit disappointed, that's all.
15:31I'll get you a drink.
15:39That was George that evening.
15:42You know what the Americans are like.
15:44Assess the home background, the wife.
15:47Do they match up to the corporate image?
15:49That was an interview.
15:51I failed because of him.
15:53You're exaggerating. Am I?
15:55It might have made a difference. It might have made THE difference.
15:58You don't know that. Neither do you.
16:04It's all right.
16:06I'm not going to phone him.
16:09Why don't you use it when I'm away?
16:11Oh, no.
16:13It's all right. If yours is finally packed in,
16:15why go all that way to the laundrette?
16:17Well...
16:19Look, here are the keys.
16:21There's an ulterior motive.
16:23Go on.
16:25Keep an eye on George.
16:27Just think that he's eating properly,
16:29that there's something in the fridge and nothing in the cigarette box.
16:32That he's all right.
16:34Julie, he's not a child.
16:36Look, he just doesn't look after himself
16:38when I'm not here, and I shall worry.
16:40Please, please, Laura.
16:42This may come as something of a shock to you, Julie,
16:45but George and I don't exactly get on.
16:47Oh, he thinks the world of you.
16:49Does he?
16:51Oh, I know what you think about his jokes,
16:53and sometimes he does go a bit far,
16:55but you like him, don't you?
16:57I mean, nobody could dislike George.
16:59I don't like George.
17:02I think you really believe that.
17:04Of course I believe it.
17:06Julie, I love you dearly,
17:08but I'd really rather go to the laundrette.
17:15Right.
17:19Ooh! I nearly forgot.
17:21The old teddy bear.
17:23Beth and I used to quarrel over him when we were kids.
17:26I thought I'd take him to Edinburgh for her new baby.
17:29Ooh!
17:53Laura!
17:55Laura!
17:59Laura!
18:01All right?
18:15Oh, thanks.
18:19Where's your sense of humour?
18:21What? George.
18:23Oh, that's not George. He's been wonky for ages.
18:25Now, here.
18:29Give me a screwdriver.
18:31Oh. Um...
18:34What's this do?
18:36Hmm. You should have fixed it.
18:38He's always so busy.
18:40Hmm.
18:42I think the threads are gone.
18:44No, it's all right.
18:47All right.
18:49I'll pop him while you're away.
18:51Oh, you are nice.
18:53We had a taste of conditions on the road a moment ago.
18:56Let's get the 14-foot bell from Richard Robbins...
19:00Thanks, Bob. We have problems in the Caledonian Road at the moment.
19:03Also Copper and London Bridge and...
19:06The Caledonian Road is heading south,
19:08coming down towards King's Cross and...
19:10Oh, sorry. I thought you were gone.
19:12With my car outside?
19:14Laura!
19:16Here's her face in the misty light.
19:21They're for Julie.
19:23You can tell the good truth.
19:25She might think they're from you.
19:27Your words are like a whip. Is there no hope then?
19:29None whatsoever, I'm afraid, George.
19:32And why did you come here so early?
19:34For a woman with kids, this is early.
19:36You knew I was here.
19:38The other night you came in.
19:40I promised Julie I'd look after you.
19:43Oh, so you said.
19:46I reckon you must fancy me.
19:48That's the only conclusion I can possibly reach.
19:51Do you fancy me, Laura?
19:53It's not the word I would use, George.
19:59You're supposed to tell me not to smoke or you report me to Julie.
20:02You can smoke yourself to death, as far as I'm concerned.
20:05Ooh!
20:07Oh, look what I've found!
20:10Ooh!
20:24Are you meeting Julie at the airport?
20:26No. How can I when she doesn't know what shuttle she's getting?
20:30It will be nice to see Peggy again.
20:32Peggy?
20:34Julie didn't tell me Peggy was coming down.
20:37Surprise, was it?
20:39Julie was planning to surprise me, was she?
20:44Hello, 6205.
20:46Hello, Laura, how are you?
20:48Oh, I'm fine, fine, thanks.
20:50I'll just get him for you.
20:53Bob.
20:57Hello, Bob.
20:59That's right, 200 cases.
21:01I'll just get him for you.
21:03I'll just get him for you.
21:05Hello, Bob.
21:07That's right, 200 cases.
21:09I'll just get him for you.
21:11That's right, 200 cases.
21:13Yes, you were quite right to check.
21:15Yes, yes, OK, I'll see you Thursday, Bob.
21:18Bye.
21:26Were you expecting a call?
21:28No.
21:30I just thought Julie might pass.
21:35Would you like anything with your cocoa?
21:37Oh, good.
21:43Come on, Debbie, wakey, wakey.
21:45The park's running, I'm not pausing it.
21:57Yes, I saw him yesterday.
21:59Why? What's the matter?
22:02Goodbye.
22:07Why? What's happened?
22:20Yes, yes, I'm here.
22:26Another?
22:28Heart attack.
22:38Oh, I'm sorry.
22:40I know I'm being stupid, Laura.
22:42Look, I'll go over.
22:44Will you phone me straight away?
22:46Yes, I will. Don't you worry, love.
22:48Don't you worry.
22:52Frank.
22:54Frank!
22:56Frank!
23:02Go after breakfast.
23:04After 20 minutes, that's all.
23:06It's on the table.
23:08Heart attack. The company doctor would have picked that up.
23:11Maybe it was after he saw him.
23:13Maybe it's one of his little games.
23:15Yes, of course it is. I know, I know.
23:17I just promised I'd go over, that's all.
23:19Go on, then.
23:21Come with me.
23:23Laura, I've got a nine o'clock appointment.
23:25Please, Frank. Sally will come across.
23:27She'll see to the kids. Oh, please.
23:29You're bloody hopeless.
23:37Oh, dear.
23:51Come on, George. Joke's over.
23:53No. The cellar.
24:01George?
24:03George!
24:05George!
24:12George, are you in there?
24:22Don't come in.
24:24George?
24:26George?
24:29Don't look.
24:32It must have been his heart.
24:37He was trying to fix that stupid chair.
24:46He always said...
24:50none of his jokes would go wrong.
25:01I'm sorry, George.
25:03I'm sorry.
25:05I'm sorry.
25:07I'm sorry.
25:09I'm sorry.
25:11I'm sorry.
25:13I'm sorry.
25:15I'm sorry.
25:17I'm sorry.
25:19I'm sorry.
25:21I'm sorry.
25:23I'm sorry.
25:25I'm sorry.
25:27I'm sorry.
25:29I'm sorry.
25:31I'm sorry.
25:33I'm sorry.
25:35I'm sorry.
25:37I'm sorry.
25:39I'm sorry.
25:41I'm sorry.
25:43I'm sorry.
25:45I'm sorry.
25:47I'm sorry.
25:49I'm sorry.
25:51I'm sorry.
25:53I'm sorry.
25:55I'm sorry.
25:57I'm sorry.
25:59I'm sorry.
26:01I'm sorry.
26:03I'm sorry.
26:27I'm sorry.
26:29I'm sorry.
26:31I'm sorry.
26:33I'm sorry.
26:35I'm sorry.
26:37I'm sorry.
26:39I'm sorry.
26:41I'm sorry.
26:43I'm sorry.
26:45I'm sorry.
26:47I'm sorry.
26:49I'm sorry.
26:51I'm sorry.
26:53I'm sorry.

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