Relic Hunter S01e05 Thank You Very Much
Relic Hunter S01e05 Thank You Very Much
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TVTranscript
01:00You make me shimmy, you make me shimmy, you make me feel like a big earthquake.
01:29Oh, baby, I'll see you once again.
01:36You know I love you. Don't leave me, don't leave me, baby.
01:43This crazy thing you got on me brings a thick man to his knees.
01:50Oh, baby, I'll see you once again.
01:59How about I buy you a beer, huh?
02:01How about you kiss my ass, Elvis the friggin' Balbus?
02:06Well, it's the only offer I've had tonight, but I'll pay this.
02:10Smart move.
02:21We can take it.
02:22Oh, yeah, and that's just the kind of press you need.
02:23Go, I'll be there in a second.
02:29No, no, come on.
02:43Oh, my God!
02:44Oh, my God!
02:45Oh, my God!
02:46Oh, my God!
02:47Oh, my God!
02:48Oh, my God!
02:49Oh, my God!
02:50Oh, my God!
02:51Oh, my God!
02:52Oh, my God!
02:53Oh, my God!
02:54Oh, my God!
02:55Oh, my God!
02:56Oh, my God!
02:57Oh, my God!
02:58Oh, my God!
02:59Oh, my God!
03:00Oh, my God!
03:01Oh, my God!
03:02Oh, my God!
03:03Oh, my God!
03:04Oh, my God!
03:05Oh, my God!
03:06Oh, my God!
03:07Oh, my God!
03:08Oh, my God!
03:09Oh, my God!
03:10Oh, my God!
03:11Oh, my God!
03:12Oh, my God!
03:13Oh, my God!
03:14Oh, my God!
03:15Oh, my God!
03:35Now, it's too bad
03:36you're shipping out next week.
03:37Gonna miss saving your Southern, But...
03:38You've done it often enough.
03:39You know, you're a good friend.
03:40All right.
03:42All right.
03:54You can't sell it for 30 days.
03:56No, don't. Okay?
03:58I know we need the money.
04:01Our G.I.s are always burning these guys.
04:03They don't like us.
04:05I sure hope he waits.
04:07Come on.
04:10I'm sorry.
04:12I'm sorry.
04:14I'm sorry.
04:16I'm sorry.
04:18I'm sorry.
04:20I'm sorry.
04:22I'm sorry.
04:24I'm sorry.
04:26I'm sorry.
04:28I'm sorry.
04:30I'm sorry.
04:32I'm sorry.
04:34I'm sorry.
04:36I'm sorry.
04:38I'm sorry.
04:52Hello, lovely lady.
04:58Claudia.
05:02Claudia.
05:04Claudia!
05:09What are you, like 110?
05:12I'm trying to concentrate.
05:14Why does everything you listen to have to be so angry?
05:17It's not angry.
05:19It's opinionated.
05:21I mean, this is what's happening.
05:23Jay-Z, Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes, TLC, and Snoop.
05:25It's what's crack-a-latin.
05:27Know what I'm saying, funk soul brother?
05:29Oh, oui, but you can't get up and go to school without Bill Haley and the King.
05:33Jerry Lee, the killer.
05:35Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
05:38George Brown, I'm playing the Greenbush Club on Campus Road.
05:42You ought to come down.
05:44Uh, yeah.
05:46Say, listen, where would I find Sidney Fox?
05:50A couple of the kids at the club said she might be able to help me.
05:53Every night but Sunday, two shows on Saturday.
05:56I'll give you a hell of a show.
05:58Now, that's a promise.
06:00Look, um...
06:02George. George Brown.
06:04George, I've got a South American Studies class in about five minutes.
06:08So unless there's something more specific...
06:10This is it.
06:13I had a guitar that was given to me by the King.
06:18I'd sure give just about anything to get it back.
06:21King?
06:23Only one King.
06:27Elvis.
06:30I bonked with him. I got drunk with him.
06:33I played poker with him.
06:35He only played for matchsticks on account his mama told him not to gamble.
06:39That boy loved his mama.
06:41And I was his friend.
06:43So whatever happened to the guitar?
06:45I pawned it.
06:46Stupid, I know, but I had a kid on the way.
06:49He's an accountant.
06:51Must have been a mix-up at the hospital.
06:53But now I've got this grandson.
06:59Kid's 15.
07:01Little devil, but he plays guitar like an angel.
07:04Isn't that right?
07:06Yeah.
07:08But the boy won't hardly talk to me.
07:11He thinks I'm a liar and a loser.
07:14Well, I admit, I've been both.
07:19But it sure would be nice to have that boy know that at least once...
07:24I really did play with the greatest.
07:28Unfortunately, there's a lot of conflicting information when it comes to Elvis.
07:32There's as much myth as there is fact, especially on the net.
07:35I'm not surprised.
07:36Do you want me to keep digging?
07:38It won't be necessary. I've decided to go to the source.
07:41You've found Elvis, have you?
07:43In a way. I mean, who would know more about Elvis than Elvis?
07:48I don't understand.
07:51I don't understand.
07:57Your, uh, person has arrived.
08:00I put him in your office.
08:02He was making me nervous.
08:14Mr. Wilkinson, thank you for coming.
08:16My pleasure.
08:17Mr. Wilkinson appears at the Cougar Room on Highway 80.
08:20Four nights a week. I'm on my way to a show.
08:23Of course.
08:25Please.
08:29Mr. Wilkinson has spent years researching Elvis Presley's life.
08:32Oh, I was just a fan at first.
08:35Gradually, he began to take hold of me.
08:38And one day, I couldn't help it.
08:40My urge to dress up like him was just too great.
08:44I began to mimic him, sing like him.
08:47First for my friends, but eventually I began performing on stage.
08:51Today, after 30 years, I can honestly say I know as much about the king as anyone alive.
08:59Then you're familiar with this guitar. We're interested.
09:03Oh, yes, yes. The one you mentioned was custom-made for him shortly after he appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show in April of 53.
09:11Martin D-18, rosewood body, abalone inlays. Quite beautiful.
09:16I'd say it would be worth several hundred thousand dollars.
09:19Do you have any idea where the guitar might be today?
09:22Elvis didn't come home with it from Germany.
09:25And it was never seen again.
09:29Well, thank you for coming in.
09:32Thank you. Thank you very much.
09:42Looks like we've run into a dead end.
09:45We haven't covered all the bases yet.
09:47No?
09:48It was last seen in Germany.
10:01Yeah, this is it, all right.
10:04Hasn't changed much either.
10:06Pawn shops and cockroaches.
10:08Yep.
10:11Look, I bought this store 20 years ago.
10:14I don't know anything about the transaction in 1960.
10:17Are there any records somewhere?
10:19Records? Yeah, sure.
10:21They would be in the storage room, which eight years ago was destroyed by fire.
10:27Poof, gone.
10:28That's the only place they would be.
10:30I could make you a nice deal on an engagement ring, yes?
10:34Look at this! Look at this!
10:39The Mercy Dukes, an old Liverpool band.
10:41Yeah, they always played here at the Club Indra.
10:43But never mind about them.
10:45Look at this guy.
10:47Who is it?
10:48Damned if I know.
10:50But he's playing Elvis' guitar.
10:57All the pictures are there.
11:00All the pictures came with the store. I don't know who he is.
11:03If we could borrow it.
11:05Yeah, sure, that's not a problem.
11:07For 50 marks.
11:0950 marks?
11:10And something held for collateral.
11:12This is absolutely ridiculous.
11:17No.
11:29No.
11:44This place was pretty high class back in the 50s.
11:48Looks like it's changed a little.
11:51I'm not sure this is the kind of joint you should come into.
11:56I've been in worse, believe me.
11:58I was talking to him.
12:01I've been in worse places as well.
12:04Horrible places.
12:16Wow, wow, look at that picture.
12:22Yeah, yeah.
12:25I'm sorry my German is a little rusty.
12:28Son, I don't think she has talking on her mind.
12:36No, thank you.
12:39Gay?
12:41No.
12:45The manager's new here.
12:47The only one who might be able to help us is the janitor.
12:50He's worked here since the 60s.
12:54Yeah, Günther.
12:56He played in the house band here for years.
12:58Then he stopped.
13:01No more music.
13:02You know him? That's great.
13:04Do you know where Günther is now?
13:06I'm afraid I can't help you there.
13:08What's his surname?
13:12I never knew that.
13:14He was just Günther. Günther in the Gonzo's.
13:17Well, thanks, Horst. I appreciate it.
13:22Yeah, he still comes in for a drink every once in a while.
13:27He comes here?
13:29Yeah, yeah. Sits right there. Always there.
13:33I love this man!
13:39Gay.
13:51Remember, you want to play your two smallest tiles at total 7, 8 or 9.
13:56You're next, Doris.
13:58Good, you're right.
13:59The locomotion number's really starting to gel.
14:02It's improved a whole lot since Monday.
14:05Oh, good. That's so sweet, George.
14:08Don't feel too bad, Leslie.
14:10Nothing beats a Kiju.
14:17Now, look here, people.
14:19We want this guitar more than anything. You know that.
14:22But we can't spend the rest of our lives in this place.
14:27I suppose Tammy could send us a picture of her new costume.
14:31All right. I think we should go.
14:50Who is that?
15:01Gunther?
15:03Yeah.
15:04Well, hello!
15:06We sure are glad to see you, buddy. You don't know how good it is!
15:10Yes.
15:12We have a couple of questions. It shouldn't take long.
15:15I don't understand.
15:17It's about a guitar.
15:19This guitar.
15:23Excuse me. I will be right back.
15:29Maybe he just needs to use the john.
15:32I have another theory.
15:33What's that?
15:34Maybe he's out of here.
15:40We just want to talk!
15:42Stop!
15:47Stop!
15:55You're very fast.
15:56Fast? I'm facing 40 years of waiting!
16:05Gunther, no one's going to hurt you.
16:07Put your hands down. We only want to talk.
16:10Talk about what?
16:12About music.
16:15You are not from the government.
16:20George, why don't you take Gunther back to the club? Have a beer, just the two of you.
16:26Musician to musician.
16:30Good idea.
16:34Yes, all right.
16:41A nice boy.
16:44And you? You still play?
16:47Wherever they let me. You?
16:50Late at night when my family is sleeping, I listen on the headphones and I play...
16:55How do you say?
16:57Air guitar.
16:58Air guitar, yeah.
16:59Rock on, Gunther.
17:03That guitar means a lot to me, Gunther.
17:07For reasons I think you'd understand.
17:15Nice talking to you, Gunther.
17:19I recognized it as soon as I saw it in the window.
17:24I bought it.
17:26But I was stupid. I told people I had it.
17:29You're telling me it was stolen from you?
17:31In a manner of speaking.
17:35It was the coldest days of the Cold War.
17:39Late at night, three men came to my house. I knew they were dangerous men.
17:43Dangerous?
17:44From the British, American and German intelligence services.
17:49They came for the guitar.
17:51The intelligence services asked for Elvis' guitar?
17:55I know. I could not believe it myself.
17:57They gave me money.
17:59Ten thousand marks. A lot of money in those days.
18:02I would have turned down a million.
18:05But they were not asking, they were demanding.
18:08And if I hadn't given it to them, well...
18:13You have no idea why they wanted it?
18:15None.
18:17But that day I stopped playing.
18:23I thought I was going to be the German Elvis.
18:28Gunther, you go out and you buy yourself a guitar and you play.
18:33You buy yourself a guitar and you play.
18:35Play in the middle of the night sitting in the closet if you gotta, but play.
18:39You gotta let the music out.
18:42But no one will hear.
18:44You'll hear.
18:54What would intelligence services want with Elvis Presley's guitar?
18:57I have no idea.
18:59But there's someone in the American Embassy in Berlin that I used to know.
19:03Used to know?
19:10So, we still have spies in Berlin.
19:13I'm a cultural attaché.
19:17So what are you after in Berlin?
19:20A lost guitar.
19:21And what's special about this one?
19:23It was Elvis Presley's.
19:26Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.
19:28I can't help you, Sydney.
19:30I helped you out once, Steve.
19:33In a big way.
19:37I bet they probably wouldn't even care anymore how you got your big break.
19:41Now would they?
19:49You've heard of Dieter von Hoffman?
19:51A famous East German spy master responsible for all those exchanges on the Galinga Bridge.
19:57Well, he was also a big fan of American culture.
20:00Clothes, books, movies, music.
20:04Especially music.
20:06Especially Elvis.
20:08Go on.
20:09And they got hold of one of our agents.
20:12So the deal was one million dollars for the East German government.
20:18And Elvis's guitar for Dieter.
20:20So where would this Dieter von Hoffman be now?
20:23When the wall came down, he went underground.
20:27Nobody knows where he is.
20:29His code name was De Schlange.
20:34I don't think I even want to know.
20:36The official translation is the snake.
20:40So what grass would you start beating around in if you were me?
20:51You might find some useful information in the former East German intelligence agency files.
20:57And where would these records be kept?
21:02They'll never get in there.
21:21The records are in the basement, a catacomb they converted.
21:24Lovely.
21:25According to my friend at the embassy, they're accessible through an air duct.
21:29Oh, this just keeps getting better, doesn't it?
21:32That must be it there.
21:34Now, if we can figure out a way to distract the guards for about 45 seconds...
21:38Honey, distracting people is what I do best.
21:51Last night I went out walking.
21:55I went walking through the streets of Berlin.
22:02Hey, hair guard guy!
22:04Was wollen Sie?
22:06Hey, this is cool. Very cool.
22:10What is this place?
22:11You must go away. This place is off limits.
22:15What a great looking puppy. I love dogs.
22:19Ich liebe dogs.
22:25His main trick is to bite your ass off.
22:31I think I'll just go back to the hotel now.
22:36Good idea.
22:39Excuse me, hair guard.
22:41If you could just point me in the direction of the hotel...
22:46I don't have a clue as to where the hell I am, partner.
22:52I just love a good sauerbraten.
22:55Where do you think I could get a good sauerbraten?
23:05Thank you kindly.
23:16Thank you kindly.
23:27I suppose it would be too much to expect that it would be filed under V for von Hoffman.
23:35Looks like they're using some Germanic version of the Dewey Decimal System.
23:39Yes, possibly based upon which level of responsibility each person attained.
23:46Let's try this way.
23:57There's a secondary hierarchy of categories based upon...
24:01I'll just look over here.
24:09Yes.
24:16Yes.
24:35They're coming from over there. Let's go this way.
24:40This is a dead end.
24:50Put down the file and step away.
24:54We were lost.
24:56Yes, that's right. The map is not well marked, I have to say.
24:59I mean, we're nowhere near the Brennberg Gate, are we?
25:02Put the file down or I will shoot you.
25:07Okay.
25:09Putting down the file.
25:37Come on, let's go!
26:08What are you thinking they're thinking?
26:13That they've probably never seen people this anxious to do their laundry before.
26:23We'll just hang out here until it's clear. It gives us a chance to study the files.
26:29You are not washing anything.
26:32We get it.
26:37You are not washing.
26:40They will kill you.
26:43You are a liar.
26:45They will kill you!
26:48They will kill you!
26:52They will kill you!
26:53Don't be afraid.
26:55Don't be afraid.
26:57You are not washing.
26:58No, actually, you see, we're just, um.
27:00No wash, no stay.
27:02Goodbye.
27:07We'll put some money in the machine.
27:09No.
27:10No wash, no stay.
27:12Goodbye.
27:14No wash.
27:20You cannot put just one item in the machine.
27:23This is wasteful.
27:24It must be full.
27:27Goodbye.
27:36Well, it usually happens right clean.
27:39All right, all right.
27:52This is our guy.
27:53Here's a list of dissidents he got out
27:55of East Germany for a fee.
27:57Looks like he made most of them sign over their private property
27:59directly to him.
28:00Any mention of where he is now?
28:01No, it's like Steve said.
28:03There's nothing on him after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
28:05This is interesting.
28:07There's also mention of a Hermann Essen.
28:10Who's he?
28:11Apparently, he was well-connected
28:13with wealthy East Germans.
28:14He brokered most of Dieter's deals.
28:16A political financial matchmaker.
28:18Exactly.
28:19Maybe he could help us find Dieter.
28:21How do we find out where he is?
28:23Well, it looks like most of the deals involved artwork.
28:26I have more than a few connections at the galleries
28:28and museums around Berlin.
28:29Honey, you've got more connections
28:31than a phone company.
28:35Oh, no.
28:47Oh, how am I going to get my watch back now?
28:54Oh, this is the address Mike at the Berlin Museum gave me.
28:57Apparently, Hermann has himself quite the art collection.
29:00Well, is this some kind of party?
29:02I don't think so, Hoss.
29:12Oh, my god.
29:13It's a party.
29:14It's a party.
29:15It's a party.
29:16It's a party.
29:17It's a party.
29:18It's a party.
29:19It's a party.
29:20It's a party.
29:21It's a party.
29:21It's a party.
29:22♪
29:29♪
29:36♪
29:43Schlaug?
29:45Who, in essence, was he?
29:46Dieter von Hoffman.
29:48Sydney, you presented me with an opportunity
29:50I had to take advantage of.
29:52I knew that if anyone could find him, it'd be you.
29:56I'd like to take a look around.
29:58I'm sorry, Sydney, but the house is being cordoned off.
30:01Tomorrow they'll retrieve the body, make the I.D.,
30:03and then the sweepers are going over the whole place.
30:05All I want is the guitar.
30:07Well, unfortunately, everything they find will be confiscated.
30:11Now, certainly your man can apply to have the guitar returned.
30:14Yeah, right.
30:18It's out of my hands, Syd.
30:29The front door certainly answered the question.
30:32Yeah, but not necessarily the back.
30:36Well, this is a house that was owned by the last emperor of Germany, don't forget.
30:40Probably been in the royal family for generations.
30:42Through assassination attempts.
30:43Peasant revolts.
30:44Illicit affairs with chambermaids.
30:46What the hell are you two talking about?
30:48Secret passageway.
30:50Usually led up from under the house someplace safe,
30:52up to a quarter of a mile away sometimes.
31:03How did you know where the exit was?
31:06Experience.
31:07Knowledge.
31:08In the five-ton truck in the middle of the field.
31:11Seems the snake was going to slither away with his booty
31:14before he had his massive heart attack.
31:16Diamond's everything, ain't it?
31:18Well, these must lead to the manor house.
31:23Let's see what's in here.
31:29Stand back.
31:30Wait.
31:31As much as it's always interesting when you do this,
31:33if von Hoffman had a truck ready to move everything out,
31:36then it's just possible that he might have already unlocked the door.
32:07Ah!
32:20Qin Dynasty, 200 BCE.
32:23King Qin.
32:24Ah!
32:25Exquisite.
32:27Ah!
32:35Van Gogh.
32:37It's a Van Gogh.
32:40Look here at this.
32:45Some statue of a guy with a little ding-a-ling.
32:58Damn.
32:59Another one of those Picassos.
33:01Looks like the home shopping network in here.
33:04Where the hell is the guitar?
33:06Uh, George?
33:19Your honors, Hoss.
33:28The king's guitar.
33:36I don't believe it.
33:39Neither do I.
33:41Put my guitar down, please.
33:44Gently.
33:46Dieter.
33:49You are a troublesome woman.
33:52You're dead.
33:54He was dead.
33:57He wasn't dead?
33:58It just looked that way, didn't it, Dieter?
34:01If I'd had more time, I would have made out the scent of lavender.
34:04Lavender?
34:05Yes.
34:06It's the scent of lavender.
34:08It's the scent of lavender.
34:10It's the scent of lavender.
34:12It's the scent of lavender.
34:14It's the scent of lavender.
34:16Lavender?
34:18Blowfish toxin.
34:20That's right.
34:21Used by voodoo priests in Haiti.
34:23In small amounts, it puts a body into a state of suspended animation
34:27for up to 48 hours.
34:29That's how the priests supposedly kill their victims,
34:31then bring them back as the walking dead.
34:33I guess we've put you off schedule now, haven't we, Dieter?
34:36Unfortunately, I will now have to lordmost resist myself.
34:40We'd be happy to help.
34:41I appreciate the offer.
34:43But you're going to be busy dying.
34:45Dying?
35:06Vodka?
35:07Vodka.
35:15Vodka.
35:26There must be hundreds of snakes.
35:28Why did it have to be snakes?
35:46Well, at least we cracked the code name.
36:02I'm afraid it'll have to be much tighter than that.
36:05Unless you want me to shoot you and do it myself.
36:11Sorry, Sidney.
36:15It's one of the largest private collections in the world.
36:20Vipers, otters, corals, rattlesnakes.
36:26Sadly, one of my king cobras died last year.
36:36My condolences.
36:46Any ideas?
36:48Not a single one.
36:50Do you have any play at all?
36:52None. The ropes are too tight.
36:54What about you, George?
36:56George.
36:58George, listen to me.
37:00You're our only hope. You're not tied to anyone.
37:02I'm not liking the sound of this right off.
37:05I'm just telling you that, okay?
37:07You have to try and knock yourself over and fall to the floor.
37:10I don't think so.
37:12Snakes are not aggressive.
37:14Do they know that?
37:16You have to trust me. I have a knife in my boot.
37:19Try and land close to me.
37:21You should be able to reach it and cut the leg restraints.
37:23I'll take it from there.
37:25Honey, I've just got to tell you this straight off.
37:28I can't do this.
37:30Then we will die, George.
37:32They will run out of food and they will bite us.
37:43No!
37:52Go! Ha!
37:54Get away, you little doggy!
37:56I thought playing furbears and hushpuppies was a tough gig.
38:01I've got a whole new respect for your line of work.
38:06The knife is in my right boot.
38:09Come on.
38:35Okay, just one more.
38:43Okay, slowly.
38:45No sudden moves.
38:49Let's go.
38:51Dear Lord, I do not want to get bit.
38:53You're doing great, George. Don't think about them.
38:55Just get to the door.
39:00You must have half of all the snakes in Germany here.
39:06Come on.
39:14We're trapped.
39:16E minor.
39:18C major.
39:20Nigel, hurry.
39:22I'm trying. I can't seem to remember the phrase.
39:25E flat minor.
39:27Nigel, just play everything you know.
39:29We don't have a lot of time.
39:35Was it augmented?
39:37No.
39:41Wait, let me start first.
39:51Suicide?
39:53I'll smash it against the wall into a thousand pieces.
39:57How can we trust him?
39:59You can't.
40:02Sydney, you presented me with an opportunity.
40:05I had to take advantage of it.
40:19A deal.
40:21Uh-huh.
40:23You get the guitar.
40:25It's what you wanted.
40:28I get everything else.
40:31Okay.
40:33It is what we wanted, Sydney.
40:40Steve.
40:42You know.
40:45These things belong to the world.
40:48I mean, they belong in a museum.
40:52It's just not right.
41:02Give it up, Goodman.
41:04We'll find the lights any second.
41:15Oh, my God.
41:20Sydney, get me out of here.
41:22Open the door.
41:24Come on, Sydney, I can't hear you.
41:26Come on, get me out of here.
41:29The power going out must have wiped out the memory.
41:31Come on.
41:33Sydney, I didn't hear you. Get me out of here.
41:38There's a place in here. Come on.
41:41Get the point.
41:42You can turn me in.
41:44I'll turn myself in.
41:46They're coming to get me.
41:48Get me out of here.
41:50Sydney, get me out of here.
41:58Get me out of here.
42:05It's actually not that bad.
42:07You can still make other faces.
42:09A little.
42:10This is true.
42:11So I can have the watch back?
42:12No.
42:14How much will it...
42:15300.
42:16Ah, cash only.
42:18It's after five.
42:19The banks are closed.
42:20I promise I'll get you the money just as soon as they open.
42:22Just don't sell the watch, okay?
42:24I'll be back first thing in the morning.
42:26I'll see you soon.
42:28So did you get it?
42:30Gritty Bar said one of $300.
42:31Did you give it to him?
42:32Of course not.
42:34The banks are shut.
42:35Nigel...
42:36It's one of a kind, Sydney.
44:26I'll see you soon.