Baby Blues_ Hurting Inside
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00:00Huh?
00:04Zoe is definitely about to crawl.
00:06She's growing up so fast. Do you ever wonder what she'll be?
00:10Maybe a musician like her dad.
00:12I didn't know you were a musician, Mr. Mac.
00:14Neither did I.
00:15Well, it's not my way to brag, but in high school, I played a pretty mean electric guitar.
00:23Well, what's so funny?
00:25I was picturing you with an electric guitar, trying to be cool.
00:30Hey, when I used to play the first ten seconds of Stairway to Heaven, people thought the radio was on.
00:35Sorry.
00:37Busy! Why the hell aren't you outside?
00:39I'm sorry. I forgot.
00:42My car idles too long, it burns oil. That's why you wait outside. Always outside.
00:48Uh, Busy?
00:50Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Mac, this is my boyfriend, Ray.
00:54Hello.
00:55Oh yeah, the baby people. Listen, you paid Busy yet? I'm hungry.
00:58They paid me, Ray. Go wait in the car while I get my stuff.
01:01Hey, don't tell. Suggest.
01:05So? What do you think?
01:08Don't you find him a little hostile?
01:11Oh, Ray just seems that way because he's constantly angry.
01:15But I know I can change him. He's hurting inside, and that's why he really needs me.
01:25Hmm, see?
01:28Rodney, you get out of there right now!
01:31In a minute!
01:33Hey, Zoey, I'm gonna flush myself down the toilet!
01:43Alright, Rodney, you've had your fun. Now open this door!
01:47I want to huss a baby.
01:49Oh, she's fine as long as Rodney's around.
01:51What is taking so long?
01:53Hey, can I play with Zoey?
01:55Okay, be careful.
01:56Rodney, I've got to go to the bathroom!
02:00It's actually Busy I'm worried about.
02:03She's got another lousy boyfriend.
02:05Ugh.
02:06I really feel like I should do something.
02:08That's it! I'm getting the crowbar!
02:11Well, every girl meets her prince sooner or later.
02:13I'll never forget the night I met mine.
02:19I was out on a date with a nice boy named Perry Herman.
02:22Wow! How did anyone ever get the idea to combine roller skating and disco dancing?
02:26All I know is it's here to stay.
02:28Hey, what's that?
02:34At first I didn't trust my eyes.
02:36Nobody could look that good.
02:38Plus Perry and I have been doing whippets in his van.
02:40But he was real alright.
02:42A living angel in white polyester.
02:48He started mixing in kung fu moves,
02:50piercing my soul with every chop and kick.
02:53He didn't give a girl a chance.
03:00He could have had any rollerchick there,
03:02but he chose me.
03:06As my fingers let go of the railing,
03:08I knew I would never go back.
03:13Ever since that day, we've been together.
03:15King Carl with his queen by his side.
03:21And if it's all been a dream, I hope I never wake up.
03:35I wish just once Busy would find a nice boyfriend.
03:38She has a thing for these guys who treat her badly.
03:41We should do something.
03:43If only Busy could see how much she has to offer.
03:45Maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve better, you know?
03:49I bet it's because her parents split up.
03:51And if that's true, it's a shame,
03:52because not all relationships have to be that way.
03:54We should do something.
03:56Blah, blah, blah, Busy.
03:57Blah, blah, blah, boyfriend.
03:58Blah, blah, blah, do something.
04:00Uh, whoop, Kenny's giving me a signal.
04:01Something big's going down.
04:02I'll talk to you later.
04:04My wife is obsessed with our babysitter's love life.
04:06Obsessed enough to take pictures?
04:08I say if women insist on dating Aryan punks
04:10and they get what they deserve.
04:12Aha. Now we're getting to the chili center.
04:15What do you mean?
04:16There's a little personal history here, isn't there?
04:18No.
04:19You can tell Kenny.
04:21In high school, I really liked this girl named Becky Quillen.
04:28Gee, Daryl, you really played the first ten seconds of Stairway to Heaven great.
04:32Thanks, Becky.
04:33Yeah, Zep's okay.
04:35Though lately I've been concentrating more on my own music.
04:38You write songs?
04:39Sure. Someday I might even write a rock opera.
04:42Wow. I bet anything your group wins the Battle of the Bands this Friday.
04:46Are you going to be there?
04:47Wouldn't miss.
04:48Great. You know, I got an idea for a rock opera about a guy who's lost his sense of smell,
04:52and it's only through the power of the music that his nose comes alive.
05:00Flack mule.
05:02Uh, Becky?
05:04Hi, Flack.
05:09Well, that's rude.
05:10Huh?
05:11Would it kill him to say hello?
05:13Is he a scuzzball or what?
05:15Oh, no, Daryl. Flack's a really good person.
05:18He just hides it because he's hurting inside.
05:21He needs someone who can reach him.
05:24Someone like you?
05:25Exactly. Oh, Daryl, you understand me so well.
05:29Talking to you is just like talking to another girl.
05:32I'm lucky to be friends with such a nice boy.
05:35Nice boy.
05:38Yeah, if I learned one thing in high school,
05:40it was that good-looking SOBs always get the girls.
05:43Been there, Captain.
05:44Yeah, it sucked, didn't it?
05:46Huh? Oh, no. I was a good-looking SOB.
05:49We tortured your kind for sport.
05:52Yes!
05:54Zoey, it's time for our date.
05:56Let me get ready.
06:01Wait a minute. This isn't aftershave.
06:03It's battery acid!
06:09Huh?
06:22Hey, where are you going?
06:25Wanda, look.
06:27Zoey's crawling!
06:33Oh, my.
06:39Hi, Mr. McPherson.
06:43Hi, Rodney. Where's Shelby?
06:45Probably making out with your daughter.
06:47Huh?
06:48Mr. McPherson, what do women want?
06:50I can't figure them out.
06:52Ah, Rodney, Rodney, Rodney.
06:54Wrestling with that question is the great burden
06:56of we who carry the Y chromosome.
06:58I was making Zoey laugh.
07:00Women are supposed to like that.
07:02Sense of humor is number one on every Cosmo-Cosmo.
07:06Number one on every Cosmo quiz.
07:09Yeah, and sensitivity is number two.
07:11What's that tell you?
07:12So what's the answer?
07:14Very simple, little man.
07:16No matter what kind of guy women say they want,
07:18what they really go for is a good-looking bad boy.
07:20Like that Ray guy Bizzy's dating.
07:22And the sad part is that Bizzy thinks she can change him,
07:25but he's gonna go right on treating her badly.
07:27Were you that kind of guy, Mr. McPherson?
07:29Me? Nah.
07:31I had this crazy idea that if you liked a girl,
07:33you should respect her.
07:35Listen to her.
07:37Let her know how special she is.
07:39Wake up every morning and ask yourself,
07:41how can I make her happy?
07:44Boy, was I a sap.
07:46If I could do it all over again,
07:47I'd dumpster that nice guy crap and be an arrogant jerk.
07:50Because when the final buzzer sounds,
07:52it's the jerks who always win.
07:54Virgin through high school.
07:56And then some.
08:00Well, I guess first love is always sweet,
08:03four-year-old sociopath.
08:05Speaking of sociopaths...
08:07Bizzy, Ray's here.
08:09Bizzy!
08:11I know you don't got too many brain cells,
08:13but outsides the part under the sun.
08:15Now ditch the baby and let's roll.
08:17I'm not going with you, Ray.
08:19Huh?
08:20We're done.
08:21Huh?
08:22I'm breaking up with you.
08:24Mr. Mac made me realize I deserve more.
08:27Huh?
08:28Daryl?
08:29He taught me that a woman should be treated with respect.
08:31That guy?
08:32Yeah, this guy.
08:33Take a good look, Ray.
08:35This is the kind of guy I want.
08:37Someone who wakes up every morning and says,
08:39how can I make the woman I love happy?
08:43Never mind how he looks.
08:45This is a man.
08:47Now, kindly direct yourself to the nearest future without me.
08:58How did you convince Bizzy to dump him?
09:00Did you talk to her?
09:01I might have said a few things.
09:03I had no idea you were going to get involved.
09:05Well, you know me, Wanda.
09:07I'm not so much a human being as a human doing.
09:10You make me ashamed.
09:11All I did was yap about it.
09:13Now, now, it's important to care.
09:15Not quite as important as taking action,
09:17but important nonetheless.
09:18Zoey's lucky to have such a strong father.
09:20Ah, there's lots of guys like me.
09:22Batman, Zorro.
09:24They're not real.
09:25Oh, that's right.
09:26Well, better hit the hay.
09:28Want to be alert for my morning question
09:30about making you happy and so forth.
09:32Good night.
09:49Hey, neighbor.
09:50Rodney, top of the morning to you.
09:52Thanks for the advice yesterday.
09:53Well, little man, I believe in something
09:55our eastern friends call karma.
09:57When you do something for somebody else,
09:59it always comes back to you.
10:11Hello.
10:12Daryl, you know Clayton,
10:13that nice boy who works at the pharmacy?
10:15I just fixed him up with Busy.
10:17I decided to follow your example and get involved.
10:20Always happy to inspire, honey.
10:22Uh-huh.
10:23Uh-huh.
10:24See you tonight.
10:26You know, Charles Barkley had it backwards.
10:29Being a role model isn't a burden, it's a privilege.
10:31But you didn't do anything.
10:33I'm sure I would have eventually.
10:34You see, Kenny,
10:35I've always been a natural leader of men.
10:38I thought we were going to play Hungry Like the Wolf.
10:40What's the name of this band, Jeremy?
10:42Daryl and the Chaos.
10:44Now, I've written a new song for us to play
10:46at the Battle of the Bands.
10:47What's this tunage called?
10:49Read My Heart, Becky.
10:50I'm going to show Becky Quinlan how I really feel.
10:52So it's a love ballad?
10:53Afraid not.
10:54It's total nuclear war.
10:56A take-no-prisoners howl of pure rock-and-roll fury.
10:59I wrote the lyrics on my hall monitor, Sash.
11:02Follow me!
11:12I'm an open book
11:16Becky, won't you read my heart, please?
11:20Please!
11:21Take a look
11:25Becky, won't you read my heart
11:27Okay, get ready, there's an eight-minute bass solo coming up.
11:32Hey, Captain.
11:33Huh?
11:34Name a color.
11:35Yellow.
11:36Y-E-L-L-O-W.
11:39Name a number.
11:40Five.
11:41One, two, three, four, five.
11:43Okay, another number.
11:44Three.
11:45Aw, say two, it's a really funny insult.
11:47No, I think I'll stick with three.
11:51Today is your lucky day.
11:53Tell me something I don't know.
12:01Water.
12:02Over there.
12:03Becky, won't you read my heart, please?
12:06Excuse me, is there a problem?
12:08Yeah, baby guy, there's a problem.
12:11Ray?
12:12I got no busy anymore.
12:14Because of you, baby guy.
12:16My name's Daryl.
12:17Though, saying it out loud, I'm realizing it's not half as intimidating as baby guy,
12:21which is probably the reason you selected that particular nickname.
12:24Shut up, bitch.
12:25That's even better.
12:26Look, I never said anything to Busy.
12:28She just overheard me.
12:29I was talking about how girls always fall for jerks.
12:31No offense.
12:32And how they'd be better off without them.
12:33Again, no offense.
12:34And I was just telling my friend Kenny that...
12:37Let's say we use our inside voice from now on, baby guy.
12:41Inside voice.
12:42Now, here's what's gonna happen.
12:44You're gonna go home and tell Busy to meet me at the school tonight, ready to party.
12:48I can't do that!
12:49Oh, I think you can.
12:50Because if you don't change Busy's mind, I'm gonna change your mind.
12:54And by change, I'm assuming you mean...
12:56Injure.
12:57Right.
12:58Hey!
13:05Rodney, can I bake you some cookies?
13:08Do what you want, I don't care.
13:09I'll go make them right now!
13:10Whatever.
13:14Rodney's so tortured.
13:16He's really hurting inside.
13:18Like when my kitty had worms.
13:21Rodney, what are you doing?
13:22What you said.
13:23This guy in pain thing's got him jumping through hoops like a pack of circus dogs.
13:28Listen, Rodney, what I said was wrong.
13:30There are already too many guys like that in the world.
13:32You gotta stop this right now!
13:34Um, Rodney, is there a video game I could shoplift for you?
13:39Oh, yeah.
13:40I'll be stopping real soon.
13:43Wanda, I need to talk to you.
13:46You know, whenever someone at the pharmacy asks why it takes so long to count pills,
13:50I say it's not the counting that takes time, it's the recounting.
13:54Oh, yeah.
13:56It is so wonderful to see Busy with a nice boy.
13:59Yes, and you know what's even more wonderful?
14:01When a young boy shakes off the stigma of a rough-and-tumble childhood to become a dynamic and accomplished adult.
14:06Babe Ruth, Thomas Edison, Charles Dutton of TV's Rock.
14:09What are you getting at?
14:10I just think we may have been too hasty about Ray.
14:12Ray?
14:13I see real promise in the lad.
14:15And his father Flanagan said there's no such thing as a bad boy.
14:18Oh, Daryl, it's just like you to see the best in someone.
14:21But I'm sure Busy's better off with Clayton.
14:24Truth be told, my real passion is pharmacokinetics.
14:27That's the study of how drugs metabolize once ingested.
14:30Speaking of which, shall we continue this very interesting discussion over dinner?
14:34Yeah, sure. Fun ahoy.
14:36Where would you like to eat?
14:37Someplace close.
14:43Hi, Carl. I'm here to pick up Zoe.
14:45Yeah, she's on the beanbag with Shelby.
14:49You know, Daryl, I'm not telling you how to parent, but kids mimic what they see.
14:54Maybe you and the wife could keep your lovemaking behind closed doors, huh?
14:57Yeah. Could I talk to you, Carl?
15:00So this Ray guy said if Busy doesn't show up at the high school tonight, he's gonna come after me.
15:04Wow. Well, you know what you gotta do.
15:07Get a facelift and move to Canada?
15:09No. Go down to that high school and confront him.
15:12You don't talk to trash, Daryl. You take it out.
15:15You know, Carl, you're right. What am I even worried about?
15:19I'm a grown man and he's a high school kid.
15:21One fierce flash of my eyes and he'll be crying for his mama.
15:24You want me to come along, would you?
15:26I've been wanting to try out this new taser.
15:29Megan, what's the combination for my gun cabinet?
15:32Three, seven, four, nine.
15:34Right, right.
15:36Dad, sounds like this might turn into a major bloodbath. Can I come along?
15:39No, Rodney. You need to stay home.
15:44Dad, I'm coming.
15:46All right, son.
15:50Well, I guess we gotta do this thing.
15:53You're wearing a cup, right?
15:55Oh, great, Rodney. Destroy the man's confidence wear, don't you?
15:57You know this guy's gonna have steel-toed boots.
16:00Look, Mr. McPherson is already scared enough.
16:02He doesn't need to be reminded how badly he might be hurt before I step in and save him.
16:13Okay, we're next. Hands in.
16:16Eye of the tiger.
16:17We're the champions.
16:18The lunatic is on the grass.
16:20Eleventh commandment, thou shalt run.
16:23Yeah!
16:28I've been silent too long, Becky.
16:30Time to let my axe do the talking.
16:37Okay, that was Steve and the Apocalypse.
16:39Before we bring on Daryl and the Chaos,
16:41I've just been informed we've got a late addition to the roster, so get your lighters ready.
16:46Just kidding, Principal Rossiter.
16:48For Flack and the Calamity.
16:51What a loser name.
16:54Oh, no.
16:58I'm hurting inside.
17:07Hurting bad.
17:12Flack! Let me help you, Flack!
17:16Thank you, Carol.
17:27Let's move out.
17:28Hold it, Carl. I'm going in alone.
17:30You sure?
17:31I've got Wanda thinking I'm a hero.
17:33Well, maybe I should start acting like one.
17:35It's time for Daryl McPherson to take center stage.
17:43Wanna get a Slurpee?
17:44Okay.
17:47Hello?
17:49Hello?
17:52Looks like you're busy, Les, baby guy.
17:55That's not good.
17:57Busy's not coming, Ray.
17:58Is that right?
17:59Yeah, that's right.
18:00She's with someone nice now, and I'm gonna make sure it stays that way.
18:03What are you, her daddy?
18:05No, but I care about her.
18:07And that means if you ever go near her again, you answer to me.
18:11Gee, I guess nobody loves Raymond.
18:15You're making some bad choices here, baby guy.
18:18Why? Because someone like me isn't supposed to stand up to someone like you?
18:22Well, let me tell you something, baby guy.
18:24I'm on to your act.
18:25You're not hurting inside.
18:27It's guys like me who are hurting inside,
18:29because we have to stand by and watch girls fall for scum like you.
18:34Does it ever feel good to get that off my chest?
18:37I don't know what I was so afraid of.
18:40Oh, yeah.
18:46You okay, buddy?
18:48I think so.
18:49Looks like you lost a fight.
18:50Yeah, but I guess it's a small price to pay for helping a young girl change her life.
18:55Ray!
18:56Biz?
18:57I missed you so much.
18:59Thanks for the ride, Clayton.
19:01You're welcome.
19:03Oh, you poor thing. Your knuckles are bruised.
19:06No big.
19:07I'm so sorry I broke up with you.
19:09I'll pierce anything to make it up.
19:11Whatever.
19:16That's a good Slurpee.
19:18So, how'd it go?
19:19I guess I was a fool to fight the natural order.
19:22You can't change the world. The jerks always win.
19:25That's what you taught me, and I'll never forget it.
19:28Well, I gotta get back to work.
19:33Hey, you're...
19:34Look, I'd love to gab with you, but I gotta go change the urinal cakes.
19:40This is the greatest night of my life.
19:42That's the head trauma talking, son.
19:44No, it isn't. I see it all now.
19:46Now, I was wrong, Rodney.
19:48Guys like me do win in the end.
19:50It's just a matter of waiting out a dozen or so incredibly frustrating, desperately lonely years.
19:55I won! Woo-hoo!
19:57I got Wanda, and Flack's a janitor!
20:00Dad, does this mean I should model myself after Mr. McPherson?
20:04What's your gut tell you?
20:05Be a jerk.
20:06Trust it.
20:11I'm an open book.
20:16Wanda, won't you read my heart, please?
20:19Please!