Inner Sanctum Mysteries (Ghosts Always Get the Last Laugh)
Inner Sanctum Mystery, also known as Inner Sanctum, is a popular old-time radio program that aired from January 7, 1941, to October 5, 1952.
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00:50Good evening, creeps.
00:54Tonight, your mystery playhouse invites you to listen to Inner Sanctum Mysteries.
00:59Come on out, Mr. Host.
01:01♪
01:10Good evening, friends of the Inner Sanctum.
01:13This is your host to welcome you through the squeaking door.
01:18Well, been shopping around for a nice case of murder?
01:23Of course you have.
01:26And you've come to the right place because the characters on this program simply kill themselves to keep you amused.
01:33Why, only the other day we were accused of making murder our business.
01:37But we wouldn't do that, friend.
01:39Oh, no.
01:41Because that would be mixing business with pleasure.
01:44And we consider it a pleasure to give some stiff the business.
01:49Ha ha ha.
01:58And now, friends.
02:00Tonight's story is a triangle tale concerning a man, a woman, and a murderer.
02:07You've heard it said that those who laugh last, laugh best.
02:12But we're going to prove that it never pays to get into a laughing contest with a ghost.
02:18Because ghosts always get the last laugh.
02:29I know he's dead.
02:31His body has been in the grave for weeks.
02:34Yet, although I tell myself it's impossible,
02:39I can hear him laugh.
02:42That raucous, mocking sound haunts me.
02:46The same laugh I heard for the first time in the courtroom.
02:50He had never laughed during all the weeks of the trial.
02:54Never even smiled.
02:56But this day, when he came before me for sentencing...
03:03John Spencer, you have been found guilty of murder in the first degree.
03:08You wish to make a statement before sentence is imposed?
03:12I killed Hicks.
03:14I'm willing to admit it now.
03:16But he was no good. He got just what he deserved.
03:19And everybody knows it.
03:22I'm not a killer. I never committed a crime before.
03:25And all I ask now is a chance.
03:27John Spencer, the jury took all that into consideration when it recommended life imprisonment.
03:33However, I have the power to ignore that recommendation.
03:38It is my firm conviction that to allow one man to take the law into his own hands
03:43is to encourage others to do likewise.
03:46I therefore override the recommendation of the jury
03:50and sentence you to be hung by the neck until death.
03:54No! Judge, please!
03:57I've got a girl. We were going to be married.
03:59All I ask is to live so I can see her once in a while.
04:02You should have thought of that before you committed murder.
04:05It's easy for you to tell me what I should have done.
04:09But you won't always be on top.
04:12Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
04:15When that happens, I hope they throw the book at you just like you're doing to me.
04:19Taylor, remove the prisoner.
04:21Won't I be laughing when that happens?
04:23Wherever I am, I'll be laughing.
04:35Same old story.
04:38Prisoner pleads innocence or guilty with good cause.
04:42Asks mercy.
04:44When clemency is refused,
04:46a man curses judge and hopes that judge will someday find himself in a similar plight.
04:51Spencer's outburst failed to move me in the slightest.
04:55I'd heard it many times before.
04:58I went home to forget about the Spencer case.
05:09Richard? Is that you, Richard?
05:12Yes, dear. I'll come in as soon as I've freshened up.
05:15Come right now. I've been waiting here all day.
05:19Surely it's not too much to ask, is it?
05:21All right, all right, Laura. I'm coming.
05:25Richard, I want you to meet my new nurse, Margaret Cummings.
05:28This is Judge Thornton, Miss Cummings.
05:31How do you do?
05:33Miss Cummings, haven't we met before?
05:36That's hardly likely.
05:38It's probably my face.
05:40It's so ordinary.
05:42On the contrary, Miss Cummings.
05:44I should say your face is rather unusual.
05:46Richard, suppose you stop that silly chatter about faces and talk to Miss Cummings about her duty.
05:50Very well.
05:52Come into my study, Miss Cummings. We can talk better there.
06:01Now sit down, please.
06:04There's not much to say, really.
06:08In the first place, my wife's heart condition isn't really dangerous.
06:11Yes, I gathered that from Dr. Fletcher.
06:14Oh, he told you about my wife, eh?
06:16Oh, yes.
06:18You're a professional person, nurse, and I believe in frankness.
06:21It makes things easier.
06:23My wife is 11 years my senior, getting on past middle age.
06:27She is a bit worried.
06:31Not that I give her any grounds for it.
06:34Jealous.
06:36You understand?
06:38Perfectly.
06:40She's not an easy person to get along with.
06:42You'll have to humor her.
06:44I'll do my best.
06:46And, uh, Miss Cummings.
06:48Yes?
06:50I was just wondering where it was that I saw you before.
06:54Escapes me.
06:57You know, Miss Cummings,
06:59your face is rather haunting.
07:09That was how it began.
07:12We played a game during those first few weeks.
07:15I would ask,
07:18Miss Cummings, where was it that I first saw you?
07:21Don't you remember yet?
07:23No, I don't.
07:25Well, I do.
07:27And someday, if you're nice, I'll tell you.
07:33We would laugh together.
07:36Having the girl in the house made me feel young again.
07:39But it didn't last.
07:42It ended one evening in Laura's room.
07:44Richard.
07:45Yes, dear?
07:46Put down that newspaper. I want to talk to you.
07:49I'm listening.
07:50Don't you think you're going a bit too far, Richard?
07:53Too far? What do you mean?
07:55I mean Miss Cummings.
07:57Oh.
07:58I won't stand for it.
07:59I won't allow you to disgrace me in my own home
08:01with a woman who's little more than a third.
08:03Oh, Laura, for heaven's sake.
08:04I may be a bedridden invalid, but there is a limit.
08:06You're jumping to ridiculous conclusions, Laura.
08:08Ridiculous, am I?
08:09I suppose you'll deny you're in love with Miss Cummings.
08:11That you've been carrying on with her right under my nose.
08:13Certainly I'll deny it.
08:14I've got eyes, Richard.
08:16I've seen you two whispering together.
08:17I've watched how you look at her.
08:18Oh, you're talking utter nonsense.
08:20There's nothing between me and Miss Cummings.
08:21Nothing?
08:22Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
08:23Well, then.
08:24I'll give you a chance to prove what you say.
08:27I don't want Miss Cummings here.
08:30Dismiss her.
08:31You want me to dismiss her?
08:33Yes, Richard.
08:34I do.
08:40Miss Cummings, I...
08:42This is going to be rather unpleasant.
08:46You see, my wife...
08:47Yes, I know.
08:49She wants me to leave.
08:51Yes.
08:52How did you know?
08:53I couldn't help overhearing the conversation.
08:56Well, then you also know why she wants you to leave.
08:58Yes.
09:00But you warned me when I first came here that she was jealous.
09:04It's been...
09:06Very pleasant having you here.
09:11I'm going to miss you.
09:14Miss Cummings, could I have your home address?
09:17Of course.
09:19Why do you want it?
09:20I hope you won't think me presumptuous, but...
09:23Well...
09:25Perhaps we might be able to see each other.
09:28Would that be wise?
09:30No, it wouldn't be wise.
09:32But I might as well face it.
09:34I couldn't hide it from Laura and...
09:36No, I can't hide it from myself.
09:40I love you, Miss Cummings.
09:51I love you.
09:56That night I heard Spencer's laugh for the first time since the day in the courtroom.
10:00I set it down as a picture of the imagination born out of a feeling of guilt due to my disloyalty to Laura.
10:06I put it out of my mind.
10:08I had other things to think about.
10:11The slip of paper with Margaret Cummings' address on it was in my pocket.
10:15A dozen times during the next week I picked the telephone to call her, but...
10:18Something held me back.
10:21Fear, I guess.
10:23Fear that if I saw her again, I would be taking a final, irrevocable step.
10:28But then I couldn't stand it any longer without seeing her.
10:31I dialed her number.
10:39Hello?
10:41Is that you, Margaret?
10:43Yes, who is this?
10:45This is Richard.
10:46Richard?
10:48Judge Thornton.
10:50Oh, hello, how are you?
10:52It's been so long, I thought you'd forgotten me.
10:55There's little chance of that.
10:58Could I see you tonight, Margaret?
11:00Why, yes, of course.
11:03Come over as soon as you like.
11:10I dressed carefully, examining myself in the mirror I saw a tall man.
11:14Still on the right side of 50.
11:16Still trim in figure and distinguished in appearance.
11:20When I got to Margaret's apartment, my heart was beating fast.
11:23Like a boy on his first date.
11:26Somehow...
11:28I don't know quite how it happened.
11:31She was in my arms.
11:33I was kissing her.
11:37Oh, Richard.
11:40My darling.
11:41Oh, no, we're being foolish.
11:44Sit down, darling.
11:46Here, beside me.
11:48Like this?
11:50That's perfect.
11:54Margaret.
11:56Would you marry me?
11:58Mary, you can't be serious.
12:02I was never more in earnest in my life.
12:04Aren't you forgetting a little detail?
12:07No.
12:08I'm not forgetting about Laura.
12:10She has a weak heart.
12:12She may die.
12:14And if she does...
12:16I wouldn't count on it.
12:18Your wife takes very good care of herself.
12:20She may live to be 100.
12:22But if she should die...
12:24Would you marry me?
12:26I don't know.
12:28It's not fair to ask me now.
12:30Not while your wife is still alive.
12:34Ask me...
12:36Later.
12:38Later.
12:44Oh, Richard.
12:46Did you have a pleasant evening at the club?
12:49I didn't go to the club, Laura.
12:51No?
12:53No.
12:55I lied to you.
12:57I spent the evening with Margaret Cummings.
12:59Richard.
13:01You were right.
13:03I'm in love with her.
13:05I never knew what love meant before.
13:06You don't know what you're saying.
13:08I want a divorce, Laura.
13:10Divorce? No.
13:12I want it immediately.
13:14You can't do this to me.
13:16Oh, my heart.
13:18Now see what you've done.
13:20Laura.
13:22The shock.
13:24My pills, Richard.
13:26Give them to me.
13:28Hurry.
13:30I knew she was pretending the heart attack.
13:32Hoping to play on my sympathy.
13:34That was Laura's favorite trick.
13:36Not this time.
13:38This time I would pretend.
13:40Until I was ready to act.
13:42I gave her the pills.
13:44Watch to take them and sink back in the pillow.
13:46Oh.
13:48Thank you, Richard.
13:50Feel better now?
13:52Yes, dear, much better.
13:54I don't know what I'd have done without you here.
13:56I would have died.
13:58Oh, Richard, say you didn't mean what you said before.
14:01Don't you see I couldn't go on living without you?
14:04You won't have to, Laura.
14:06You won't leave me for that girl.
14:08I'll take care of you.
14:10Here.
14:12Let me make you more comfortable.
14:14Pillow needs rearranging.
14:16Yes, it does.
14:18Richard, what are you doing?
14:20I'm fixing the pillow.
14:22Why still?
14:24Stop twisting around.
14:30This is much different from a heart attack.
14:37Laura?
14:43Laura?
14:46She's dead.
15:01Hello?
15:03Dr. Fletcher?
15:04This is Judge Thornton.
15:06Please come quickly, doctor.
15:08My wife has had a heart attack.
15:18Happened during an argument.
15:20It was nothing important, doctor.
15:22Just a domestic quarrel.
15:25And suddenly she had the attack.
15:28I gave her the pills, but by that time it was too late.
15:31It's too bad.
15:32I had only known that a condition had become so dangerous.
15:34Oh, Judge, you have nothing to reproach yourself for.
15:37These things happen.
15:39Will you take care of the formalities, doctor?
15:42Oh, yes, of course.
15:44The death certificate?
15:46I'll list the cause as failure of the heart.
15:54There was no need to act the part of the stricken husband after Dr. Fletcher left.
15:59I stood looking down at Laura's body.
16:03She was dead.
16:05And Dr. Fletcher's certificate would clear me of any suspicion of murder.
16:10I was free.
16:12Free to marry Margaret.
16:32I walked to Margaret's apartment that night.
16:36The street was dark.
16:38Empty.
16:40I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was being watched.
16:43Followed.
16:45Then I heard footsteps behind me.
16:48I hurried my pace.
16:50The man behind me did likewise.
16:52Frightened as I was, I decided to stop and confront the follower.
16:55He came toward me.
16:57His face and figure shadowy in the dark.
17:00What do you want?
17:02Why are you following me?
17:04You ought to know, Judge Thornton.
17:06Who are you?
17:08Come closer so I can...
17:10Spencer.
17:12John Spencer.
17:14It can't be.
17:16You're dead.
17:18Dead, am I?
17:20Well, you ought to know, Judge.
17:33Now, take it easy, mister. Take it easy, darling.
17:36Just tell me what happened.
17:38I was being followed, officer.
17:40So I turned around to see who it was.
17:42And did you see who it was?
17:44Yes. And that's why I fainted.
17:46The man following me was a dead man.
17:48He was a... what's that?
17:50The man following me is dead.
17:52I know he's dead, officer.
17:54I ought to run you in.
17:56You're crazy.
17:59I had intended to tell Margaret that Laura was dead.
18:02I meant to ask her to marry me.
18:04But the encounter on the street
18:06drove those thoughts out of my mind.
18:08Arriving at her apartment,
18:10I went directly to the window and looked out.
18:12And there, across the street,
18:14leaning against the wall,
18:16I saw John Spencer.
18:18Richard, I'm insulted.
18:20What?
18:22You didn't kiss me. You haven't even said hello.
18:24I'm sorry, dear.
18:26But that man across the street,
18:28he can't be real.
18:30And yet, if he isn't,
18:32what man, Richard?
18:34Don't you see him?
18:36No, there's no one across the street.
18:38Hmm.
18:40He was there a moment ago.
18:42I turned my head to talk to you,
18:44and now he's gone.
18:46Darling, you're trembling.
18:48You must be sick.
18:50Don't look at me like that.
18:52Richard, what's the matter?
18:54I guess I am sick.
18:56I'd better go and have a talk with Dr. Fletcher.
19:02Yes, I remember the Spencer case
19:04very well, Judge Thornton.
19:06You could have spared Spencer's life,
19:08but didn't.
19:10And now you imagine that he follows you.
19:13Yes.
19:15But the man is dead.
19:17And it was his ghost that followed me.
19:19His ghost I spoke to. His ghost that laughs.
19:21There are no ghosts, Judge Thornton.
19:23With one exception.
19:25The ghosts we carry about inside us.
19:27What do you mean?
19:29Well, these things you hear and see,
19:30these are hallucinations brought on
19:32by feelings of guilt.
19:34Spencer's been dead for weeks.
19:36So the question is,
19:38why should you experience guilt feelings
19:40at this late date?
19:42I don't know.
19:44Well, psychiatry has an explanation.
19:46Quite often in such cases,
19:48one refuses to face the guilt object
19:50and transfers his guilt feelings
19:52to some other person.
19:54What are you driving at?
19:56I'm suggesting that your guilt feelings
19:58are not caused by the Spencer case.
20:00It's a murder incident.
20:02And I'm going to ask you a blunt question.
20:04Did you murder your wife?
20:06Why, of all the...
20:08Now, just a moment, Judge. Just a moment.
20:10I've been rather uneasy
20:12about the circumstances of Mrs. Thornton's death.
20:14But you yourself diagnosed it as a heart attack.
20:16I accepted what you told me that night.
20:18A superficial examination of the body
20:20did indicate such a conclusion, yes.
20:22But your wife's cardiac condition was mild.
20:25Now, your guilt feelings lead me to suspect...
20:28This murder talk is ridiculous.
20:30Are there any signs of struggle?
20:32Any marks of violence?
20:34Of course not.
20:36Mrs. Thornton might have been suffocated.
20:38Oh, nonsense.
20:40Perhaps.
20:42At any rate, I intend to recommend to the coroner
20:44that an autopsy be performed.
20:46An autopsy?
20:48Yes, it would determine whether or not
20:50death was due to suffocation.
20:52You should have no objection if I am mistaken.
20:54You meddling fool.
20:56Judge Thornton, put down that paper.
20:58You are so clever.
21:01I'd lost my head.
21:03I should have agreed to the autopsy.
21:05That would have given me a day or two
21:07in which to plan my escape.
21:09But now, as things were,
21:11it would be only a matter of hours
21:13before Fletcher's body was discovered.
21:15My thoughts twisted and turned in panic.
21:17Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
21:20Won't I be laughing when that happens?
21:23Wherever I am, I'll be laughing fit to bust.
21:27I ran.
21:29Ran like a frightened child.
21:31I needed help,
21:33and there was no one to turn to.
21:35Margaret.
21:37She loved me.
21:39She'd help me.
21:41I went to Margaret and told her what had happened.
21:43You killed your wife?
21:45For you.
21:47So we could be married.
21:49And then Dr. Fletcher...
21:51I had to kill him, Margaret.
21:53He was going to recommend an autopsy.
21:54Why did you come here?
21:56We've got to run away. We still have an hour or two.
21:58We could charter a plane to Canada or Mexico.
22:00What makes you think I'd run away with you?
22:02I thought you loved me.
22:04Don't be stupid.
22:06I'm going to turn you over to the police.
22:08Margaret, you can't mean that.
22:10Can't I just watch me?
22:12Listen before you pick up that phone.
22:14Even if you don't love me,
22:16even if you won't go away with me,
22:18give me a chance. Have mercy.
22:20You make me laugh.
22:22Judge Thornton who never gave anybody else a break
22:24That's right.
22:26Spencer.
22:28John Spencer.
22:30Take another look, Judge.
22:32No.
22:34No, you're not John Spencer.
22:36There's a resemblance, but you're not John Spencer.
22:38I'm his brother.
22:40You're the man that was following me.
22:42That's right.
22:44I was tricked.
22:46Led on by Margaret to kill my wife
22:48and forced by you to betray myself to Dr. Fletcher.
22:50But why? Why, Margaret?
22:52Why did you do this?
22:54The first day I came to your house,
22:56you thought my face was familiar.
22:58Well, now I'll tell you where it was that you first saw me.
23:00It was in the courtroom at John Spencer's trial.
23:02The courtroom.
23:04Yes, yes.
23:06Yes, remember how he begged for mercy?
23:08He told you he had a girl that he was engaged to be married
23:10and you could have given him his life.
23:12But you sentenced him to his death?
23:14For you, the girl?
23:16Yes.
23:18Spencer, did he know about this?
23:20All this was his plan.
23:22His revenge.
23:25Hello, operator.
23:27Give me police headquarters.
23:29I want to report a murder.
23:31Yes, that's right, a murder.
23:33Tell them it's very important to get here
23:35as soon as they can.
23:37I'm waiting now for the police to come
23:39for the trial,
23:41for the sentence, which I know will be death.
23:44As I wait,
23:46my thoughts go back to the courtroom.
23:49John,
23:50my thoughts go back to the courtroom.
23:53You won't always be on top.
23:56Maybe someday you'll be down here where I am.
24:01And when that happens, I'll be laughing.
24:21Well, Judge Thornton certainly misjudged Margaret Cummings,
24:28which was a grave mistake.
24:31But he didn't have the ghost of a chance with her.
24:34She double-crossed him right into the graveyard.
24:38Oh, a word of caution.
24:40If you must commit a murder,
24:43be sure to select the proper weapon.
24:46I suggest a sharp-edged axe,
24:48because it provides you with a handy alibi.
24:52When the police want to know why you did it,
24:54you can claim the killing was accidental.
25:13Well, good night and thank you, Poison Puss,
25:16for your inner sanctum story.
25:18It was a nice performance in the Mystery Playhouse.
25:21Until next time,
25:23creep,
25:25good night,
25:27sleep tight.