Only Murders in the Building Season 4 Episode 2
Only Murders in the Building S4 Episode 2 - Gates of Heaven
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00:01So what's next podcast wise?
00:04What we need is a hot fresh dead body preferably right here or very near to here
00:09I got another email from that Bev Mellon. They want to make a movie of our podcast
00:14Paramount they want to fly us all out to LA for some meeting next week. Let's talk movies
00:20I invited sass to the party, but she's back to not responding and she usually gets right back to me
00:25She had something sensitive to discuss with me. She's had so many joints
00:29Replaced by metal apparently the best ones come from Bulgaria. What's all this?
00:35And you need your kitchen window replaced something left a little hole like a bullet hole
00:52Okay, yeah, mm-hmm well hold on there stunt people are not actually daredevils
00:59Sure, we find danger sexy
01:01Yeah, we like to flirt with it buy it a drink, but we don't let it get into our pants
01:07You know, we do danger safely
01:11So if we do get hurt we live to fall another day
01:16You know who taught me that
01:18the best stuntman in the world
01:21my old man
01:23slim Pataki I
01:26I come from a long line of stunt people, you know, while most parents are trying to keep their kids away from danger
01:35My taught me how to play in it honest to God
01:40There's no point in trying not to fall you always fall
01:44But the trick is you get up you dust yourself off and make sure you don't become dust
01:52Charles are you? Okay? What do you need? We're here
02:00What do I do I
02:03Can't wash her down the drain. Yeah
02:06Maybe we could get a wipe
02:10Yes. Yes a nice respectful wipe says can't end up on a wipe
02:16Well, you could just leave them like that
02:18Well, you could just leave them like that then you'd have permanent sass hands
02:27I'd like to take that one back. I'm gonna call the police great. Yeah
02:40Do you want me no I
02:42I
02:44Know what I'll do
02:46I'll wash her into a bowl great plan ball
02:49Then I can take the water and ashes pour them into something let the water evaporate
02:54Maybe a mason jar Oh homie cozy. What a good I love mason jar. We will go get that for you now. Yes
03:12Sass
03:43You
04:03Hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it
04:05Me being dead is the least of your problems also get your hands off my boobs
04:35You
04:57You
05:06Oh
05:10God she's all over me, too. Of course. This is the week my guy cleaner bumps up his pricing Oliver
05:16Will you stop shaking sass on to the floor and line up the shot? Oh, yes. Sorry. Sorry. Okay
05:20So, all right
05:21So if that's where sass was hit then the angle puts the shooter in the corner apartment across the way
05:29But what if she was shot here and then
05:34Then she was shot by the the window next door. Okay, my hands are clean
05:41Sass is in the jar
05:43Not in this room, and I'm gonna put her right here
05:46Okay, wait, no, I'm gonna put her here because sass used to love sitting on this counter
05:51So this is absolutely unless we put her over. No, this is good
05:55This is absolutely good because it is time to enact protocol. Let's call the police. Well, hold on. Hold on
06:02I mean, yes do what you need to do whatever you need. Absolutely at Charles
06:08It's just that we thought maybe we could talk to some people before the whole building
06:14comes under siege
06:19Okay
06:20What do we know so far, okay, so
06:23Sass came up here for the wine
06:25There's a bullet hole in the glass and I found a couple of shards on the windowsill
06:31So it seems the bullet came in not out
06:33You know
06:34So a Howard's cadet dog thinks there was a body about here and then dragged to the trash chute by someone who had access to your
06:40apartment, which is terrifying
06:42And we know we found sass in the incinerator
06:45Poor sass. Poor sass. I wish I had something to add, but I'm just a manifestation of your rapidly declining mental state. So
06:53The shot came from the West Tower probably somewhere across on the 14th floor
06:58But we need to know exactly where the body was to know which apartment. Oh
07:03We could lumen all the floors. I could postmates us a bottle. Yes
07:07And what is luminol my little murder nerds? It's a chemical that makes blood glow in the dark
07:12It's a chemical that makes blood glow in the dark also other bodily fluids
07:16That's how I found out what the construction workers were doing in my old apartment. Yeah, I
07:21Don't get it who would kill sass. Everybody loves sass
07:25well
07:26Remember the shooter was in the Arconia
07:31focusing on your apartment and
07:34They shot a person dressed like you in your kitchen. You see where this is going
07:39I see where this is going. You think I was the target? That's preposterous
07:44I was people magazine's eighth most beloved TV cop in
07:491989 91
07:52Okay, clearly sass was into something weird, but what about these notes we found in her apartment
07:59You got look look sick pup. This one just has random numbers
08:05Dudinoff no idea what that means
08:10Looking at Charles
08:13It's a mistake to make assumptions this early in an investigation. Don't let them get in your head
08:18If you were the target it means I was killed because of you and that kind of guilt will paralyze it
08:23We don't know who the target was
08:28Listen buddy, maybe we make lists of people who hate you and people who hated sass
08:35Might be fastest to start with sass
08:37Ah
08:39Sass was dating Jan a convicted murderer and sass says she needed to break up with Jan and we know what Jan does to
08:47People who break up with her. Okay, but Jan is in prison and you broke up with her, too
08:54I'm calling 9-1-1. It's been a week and sass is Bulgarian left shoulder and knee are still in that incinerator
09:03No, there's no proof of that
09:07Thank you for calling 9-1-1 there are
09:1168 emergencies ahead of you
09:1368 okay. It looks like our glorious city has given us a minute
09:18Why don't we talk through what we know about the residents of the West Tower?
09:28The Westies
09:30They're an odd bunch
09:32weirdos
09:34loners renters
09:37You don't have to say it like that
09:38Yeah, boomer and not everyone was alive when an apartment cost a bag of beans. I'd killed her in anything
09:45Alright Charles
09:47Tell us about the Westies and why they might for argument's sake
09:52Want you dead? There's stink-eye Joe
09:56Seems hostile always looking over here giving me this stink-eye
10:02Ah
10:05There's the sauce family
10:08Always stirring some kind of sauce at all hours and looking over here
10:14three people
10:16Lots of pots always stirring. Are they stirring up a nice batch of murder?
10:23There's the oddest one of all Christmas all the time guy
10:28Handsome guy always working out never takes down his Christmas decorations. Where's a Christmas sweater all year round?
10:36That's most of the floor I can see
10:39Besides that one apartment that never opens its blinds. I
10:44See the lights go on and off sometimes
10:46But I never see anyone in there
10:50Interesting, okay, let's sniff around before the cops come I think we have to go down and run the block to get in right
10:56That's right. They sealed off the West Tower from the real Arconia after a Westie opened a brothel pretty good one, too
11:03Okay, Charles text us when 9-1-1 picks up. Whoa
11:07Whoa, sass was my stunt double. I want to investigate listen
11:11I know we don't know who the target was
11:15But just to be safe, why don't you help out in here what the blinds closed stay on hold?
11:22Make a new murder board
11:25Postmates the luminal
11:27Luminol post mates. It was the most technical we'd ever been
11:33You know, this is all happening. We must will just get started
11:41Hey, you're giving me busy work Charles, this is a big job
11:45We need you to stay safe in here and stay on hold. You don't need to go out there to help
11:51Of course, they tried to shoot you in here. I was not the target
11:55Of course you weren't but deadbolt the door the killer might have had a key. I love you, buddy
12:02we do I
12:04Want to have said that?
12:17Okay, he is talking to no one hey, I've talked to a few dead people before hey
12:22I once invented a whole Fosse number of you and Charles dancing. You had better gams. Yeah, it's that
12:27Building meeting tonight keep our home from being overrun by a Hollywood movie shoot. No, no, no
12:33No, this movie has to happen. It's the only way I can keep up with my sexy successful girlfriend
12:39Also, did you know Loretta's co-star? He's internet famous for something called a Jon Hamm and the pan situation
12:45Well, I know went deep down that rabbit hole on a rainy afternoon
12:50Gates of heaven you ever seen it
12:53It's the first time I ever saw real people just being themselves and being worthy as characters, too
12:58It was about pet cemeteries
13:01that was
13:04Deep existential shit about the afterlife
13:10You've been on film hundreds of times and the only way the world will remember your face is on this old documentary well
13:18Being on film is not the only way to be remembered
13:23You know, even if you were the target
13:27You don't have to feel bad
13:29That's the gig I take hits for my guy
13:37They're just trying to scare me I'm not gonna get scared in my own
13:42Part
13:46Closet don't know why I'm whispering. I'm just just so conscious
14:06Hello Charles
14:09Yeah, she's real
14:19Wow the West Tower
14:24Somewhere in this pit lay a sniper's nest
14:28Okay, this is our one chance to meet people casually before the cops put everyone on alert
14:33So, let's look out some windows chat look for the weird. Okay, first up the menacing stink-eye Joe
14:49It's the famous
14:51Podcasters for the East Tower why yes, that's us
14:55Hi, I'm Mabel. I don't know if you're aware, but they're going to be shooting a movie here based on our podcast
15:02Major stars very exciting. So we're scouting possible locations to shoot from in tissue didn't exactly with cameras
15:09Not not not bang bang shoot. So would you be interested in showing us your apartment? Oh, yeah. I
15:16Love the movies. I show you anything you want. Come on in
15:22Vince fish
15:24Listen, I got to apologize for the eyepatch
15:27I have
15:28antibiotic-resistant pink eye and it leaves one eye and that goes back into the other and the back and forth and back and forth
15:34I got like a virus playing a hopscotch
15:36Anywho, I got to put a compress on it, but I don't like to hold it in my hands because I'm highly contagious
15:43Okay, so I came up with this system
15:47Pink eye. Yes
15:48So would you mind if we glance out your window to see if it gives us the right angle on these towers?
15:53Yeah. Yeah, come on over. Yeah
15:55I mean you get a good vantage point from over here
15:58Everybody looks so small you could pretend that they're not even people
16:03They're just like little ants and you just squish them. You just squish them, but I can see your place Oliver
16:10over there on 10 and
16:13Mabel you you used to live at 12 and
16:17There's a friend's place
16:20What's up with him and his lonely omelets? And why is he always staring?
16:25Well, who could say why people do what they do?
16:27Anyway, a shout from here won't work because the the windows are painted shut
16:37That's too bad, yeah must be hard for you Easties to imagine
16:42You're always lifting your windows
16:45Letting in the fresh air
16:47Anyhow, I'm going to the neighbors to play some oh hell
16:50So if you want to come along you can you can check out their place, right?
16:53Oh, that would be fantastic. We'd yes super new friends
17:02Back
17:03Stay back. How did you get out of prison a mix of parkour sass taught me and
17:09Psychosexual manipulation I won't bore or arouse you with the deets. Well, I'm not bored
17:16Now thanks for the tip about the secret passageways in the second season of your podcast super helpful
17:22Charles stop scurrying
17:27I'm not here to kill you. I
17:29Broke out because I'm worried about sass
17:32Worried about sass what why she called last week and sounded upset. I haven't heard from her since have you
17:44Charles
17:46Why did you call 9-1-1 I'll tell you if you don't kill me I'll kill you if you don't tell me touché. Oh
17:58I've been meaning to wash these
18:07We're really more like family over here, you know, the apartments may be smaller but the hearts are bigger
18:14Maybe that's why I have an enlarged heart
18:18Inez we have guests
18:26Fresh meat
18:28Get in here
18:43They want to play oh hell with us
18:47So nice to
18:49Finally, you're right a meeting of the towers. Why haven't we done this earlier? My mom wishes you brought your friend. Oh
18:55No, she's right though. Mm-hmm Inez is in love with Brussels
19:03No, seriously when we first moved in she spotted him across the courtyard almost peed herself
19:07I thought I was gonna have to take the guy out, you know
19:11Wow years of living across from your wife's crush must be hard, huh?
19:16Especially when your wife puts on a push-up bra to cook
19:18Can I help it if but I just likes to watch me make sauce mom. I need to move out
19:23All right. Come on. Come on, let's get started
19:25You're gonna love this game, but be careful
19:29It's a little dangerous
19:39So
19:41What do you think of? Oh hell
19:43Well, it's a titillating a little confusing
19:47Reminds me of this traumatic game of strip pinnacle
19:50I once played with the wonderful Frank Langella who whose drapes do not match. He definitely loves it
19:55So Mabel, did you achieve? I don't think so. Oh, okay. We really really want to
20:02Already, it's so addictive. I bet your friend. Mr. Savage would like it. He's my hall pass
20:10which is not supposed to be a thing with anyone you actually have a chance of meeting or
20:15You know anyone who's constantly staring through your window with a stupid fucking face dad
20:19I think you can relax about brothers. He has brittle bones mom would shatter him
20:26Where's this one running off to I just need a pick-me-up. Where's the knife? Oh on the bathroom sink. I just sharpened it
20:40All right now I need a hit
20:56So
20:59What is going on in the bathroom, sorry Westy secret a sniper
21:08Snipers are assholes
21:11What's the point of killing if you're not up close for the release? That's the best part
21:16you remember Charles I
21:21Really loved her
21:24We worked together almost 40
21:26years she took every blow for me would come to the most dangerous part of the scene and the director would yell freeze and I
21:33would freeze and then sass would say tap in tap in and then
21:39She would get run over by an airboat while I had a fresco
21:43She couldn't find much doubling work because her height didn't match many women
21:49She said you gave her the shot that started her life
21:53She loved you
21:55Jeez, just getting sappy
21:57She's the reason I haven't killed you despite hours of fantasizing
22:04Well, thank you says no, I need to borrow a shirt this one's covered in prison guard brain
22:14Prison guard brain, that's our Jan. Oh hell
22:24B-a-d
22:35Okay newbie, I think that earns you a trip to the bathroom. There you go, buddy. Oh
22:42I don't know that I need to he's right. You earned it Ollie. I
22:49Insist
22:51Get in there get in
23:14Is that a person don't be ridiculous it's a ham imported from Portugal very special
23:22It's a ham Mabel. It's a ham in the shower
23:30Sounds like we've met most everybody on this side of the floor except for a Christmas guy and
23:35Whoever is in that place with the lockbox on it who lives there? Oh, I'm that's the dude enough place
23:43Dude enough, do you know how we could contact them?
23:51He has a telephone
23:54Sass is very worried about you Charles and the day is looking up
23:59She said she thought someone had eyes on you. She was poking around the building because of it this building
24:05She was looking into someone who lives here. I don't know the last time we talked
24:10She said she thought there might be another murderer in the building
24:14Who's last Wednesday after my lifers hip-hop dance club that was the night she died
24:19Charles you get rid of the body because you've killed the wrong person and you don't want the right person on alert and
24:27Trust me once you've crossed over and tried to kill if you fail
24:31You come up with way more fucked-up ways to finish the job
24:36time to go
24:39I
24:40Think the cops are gonna pin this on me. So I got to disappear. I
24:44Was hoping to make love one last time Charles before you're murdered
24:48Maybe at least some mutual masturbation, but ships passing I guess well, you know, we got a little I'll miss you Charles
24:54I hope it's quick
24:56Hi
25:03Okay, so the apartment with the closed blinds is someone named dude enough from Sazh's note now
25:09We don't know who that is. But the Westies are very weird about it
25:13Also, they eat toilet ham and stink-eyed Joe is really just pink-eyed Joe, which is arguably worse
25:20But you made a board. Oh, that's so good
25:23Who knows why Sazh was over there, but there is a lockbox on that dude enough door
25:39Jan was here. She was here. Jan was here. Yeah
25:44Uh-huh. And is she still here? Well, I didn't run can't you still smell her I can
25:53Charles Jan is in prison. How could she be in your closet parkour?
26:01And
26:02That is when we realized that Charles had begun his descent into madness
26:09Guys, I was the target the shot was for me Sazh died for me
26:14Thank you for calling 9-1-1
26:19Okay, you're doing good at hold did you order the luminol it's on its way good for you dude, we're proud of you
26:27Hey, Oliver
26:29Look, is that the code for the lockbox? Maybe?
26:34We're gonna try to get it into the dude enough place as fast as possible and then we'll be back
26:39Okay, just text us if the cops pick up or the luminol cups. You're doing great
26:45Oh
26:48Charles isn't doing so great. Yeah, we have to find the killer soon. He's a dead man walking. Oh goody. It works
26:56Okay
27:08Okay, if anyone actually lives here they're definitely a psychopath a ham radio so much ham up here
27:16Hey, look, there's a footprint on the radiator and paint chips. The window was pried open
27:27This must be the snipers nest it's also pretty spacious for a studio
27:36I
27:39Was just tinsel
27:44What
27:48He's so cute, what's your name piggy spalls notorious PIG
28:08Oh
28:38Oh
28:42He's a chance go
28:48Gather up some things and get on
28:51I'm scared to leave here now. We stay down here
28:56Nice and safe
28:59forever
29:02Many cultures sit on the floor to eat. It'll be great
29:09A
29:11We're almost there
29:21That would be the luminol downstairs you don't have to go down there
29:30Delegate let strangers find the killer of your fiercest protector
29:38I
29:43Got at least go get the box
29:47Just gonna pick up a package it's easy I pick up a package without getting killed
29:54I'll go in Scott. Oh, I'll go in disguise. All right, I'll say the Lister don't look up and don't say my name
30:00But give me that package
30:03I
30:06Don't know am I Jan bellows escaped using parkour and psychosexual manipulation
30:11Then we found sketches are doing some really fucked up shit to you acid showers golden showers
30:16No, I'm not really sure how that kills anyone, but we need to inspect your bathroom. See she is real. She was here
30:24She was here and you didn't report it what you know was a crime
30:29Savage is there anything you want to tell me?
30:38Hello
30:40I'd like to report a murder
30:43Shut the fucking fuck up you might want to check the incinerator
30:49Also, we grabbed your package
30:52Sir, did you say a murder?
30:58Come
31:03On let's go cops won't be in the basement forever
31:06Are we allowed to do this to a crime scene forgiveness instead of permission is kind of our thing
31:11Okay, and what does this luminol do again? It'll show us where sass bled out
31:16Are you ready? I?
31:18I need a moment first
31:28I
31:48Failed you today says
31:51Well, I wasn't at my best either I'm you so yeah
31:58Luster shit
32:00How am I ever gonna find your killer if I'm afraid to go outside? I don't know how to do this
32:05All I know how to do is freeze
32:07You need a stunt double
32:10Remember in
32:11season one
32:13We had that big explosion stunt at the strip club and for hours you were running and diving in this
32:21Filthy River. Yeah, my hair caught on fire your hair caught on fire and that was all before lunch
32:27Which I was having
32:30Alone as usual and
32:33Then
32:35You came banging on my trailer door and you brought in five crew guys
32:39That I had never talked to and they all thanked me for inviting them to a poker game
32:45Which I hadn't a white lie and then I had this
32:51Weekly poker game for the next eight years
32:54You found me friends
32:57What was that guy the the grip he was so funny and the
33:03Big guy with the hair that schmock schmock schmiong schmiong
33:09You were more than just a stunt double
33:12You took care of me in every way a person could take care of someone
33:18You're my oldest best friend
33:23What do I do without you
33:34Charles we should do this
33:48She was right here
34:00Hey look at this
34:04Did she write a message with her blood
34:09Charles do you know what that means?
34:13Yes, I do
34:18Another thing my father taught me if you want to have a long career
34:21You need to find your person
34:24Your number one the one you always fall for and the day I met Charles Hayden Savage. I
34:32knew I'd found mine and
34:35It's not just about a steady gig finding your number one pushes you to unlock parts of yourself you didn't even know you had
34:48Because everything you do you're doing for someone you care about
34:59Oh hell
35:03They're not numbers they're letters
35:12Did one of them kill says
35:14We're gonna find out we're not investigating Sazh's murder anymore. We're investigating mine
35:44You
36:14You