Cecil's family is unaware that he and his cabinet-maker employee are making and selling false antique furniture. It is only when he dies and his salesman Bernie marries his widow Julie that the truth comes out through Cecil re-appearing as a parrot, puzzlingly given as a wedding gift. When a local Brighton heavy realises he's been conned the family band together to try and fix things. —J-26
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:37keep of screen
00:00:49Keeps of screen
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00:02:40Good evening, lovejoy.
00:02:42You mean good morning, Sarge.
00:02:44Depends what you've been up to.
00:02:46Ah, so the early bird catches the worm, eh?
00:02:48Just what I'm frightened of.
00:02:51Well, if I may be so bold, sir,
00:02:53to effect an entrance without rousing the wife,
00:02:56remove the shoes.
00:02:58I'm not worried about the wife.
00:02:59It's the family.
00:03:01♪
00:03:08♪
00:03:17Mum!
00:03:19Mum!
00:03:22Sorry, Dad, I thought you were awake.
00:03:24I am.
00:03:29Mum!
00:03:30Have you seen my lipstick?
00:03:32Which one, dear?
00:03:33Pink flush.
00:03:35Julie!
00:03:36Have you seen my pink flush?
00:03:39Julie!
00:03:42What?
00:03:43Have you seen my pink flush?
00:03:45Ask Mum.
00:03:46Mum!
00:03:47I've already asked her.
00:03:49Well, ask Dad.
00:03:53Dad!
00:03:56Dad, have you seen my pink flush?
00:03:59I'll give you a pink flush if you don't shut up.
00:04:02Oh, surety.
00:04:08Daddy, dear.
00:04:09Yes, love?
00:04:10Love?
00:04:16Breakfast!
00:04:25Sugar.
00:04:41Good morning, Cecil.
00:04:44Hello, love.
00:04:45Smashing husband you are, stopping out all night.
00:04:50Well, I got tied up with a bit of business.
00:04:55What?
00:04:56Business.
00:04:57Well, I want ten quid.
00:04:59And what have you bought me?
00:05:00Now, look, ducks.
00:05:01And don't you ducks me.
00:05:03Look at you, look at you.
00:05:04You're frothing at the mouth.
00:05:06And what have we got here?
00:05:09And what are we doing tonight?
00:05:11I'm sorry, love, but I've got to do a bit of stock taking.
00:05:13What of?
00:05:14That bit of overtime you call a secretary?
00:05:16You mean Miss White?
00:05:17She comes in very handy.
00:05:18Oh, I'm sure.
00:05:19Well, never mind that.
00:05:20Here.
00:05:21Where's me hair cream?
00:05:24Now who's frothing at the mouth?
00:05:39Shut up, you!
00:05:54Oh, Cecil.
00:05:55Breakfast's ready.
00:05:57No time, Ma.
00:05:58Big business.
00:06:02Big business, big head.
00:06:08Is that Clark Gable in there?
00:06:10Aha, very funny.
00:06:12Where's Faye?
00:06:13She's lost her pink flush.
00:06:17You're not going out like that on an empty stomach.
00:06:20Sorry, Ma.
00:06:21Ben's waiting.
00:06:24Breakfast's on the table, Julie, dear.
00:06:27I'm going on a diet.
00:06:29Oh, Julie.
00:06:34Victor, you up?
00:06:36They give you a gold watch, make a nice speech,
00:06:39and tell you to retire into peace and serenity.
00:06:42Victor, come and get your breakfast.
00:06:45I'll warm it up for dinner.
00:07:02What are you doing with that load of Lucy in front of my shop?
00:07:05Blimey, that's the problem, Cecil.
00:07:07You bring a load of rubbish down here and I...
00:07:10Wolfie.
00:07:11How's business?
00:07:12Like you.
00:07:13There's a lot in the wind, but you can't live on promises.
00:07:16Drop it.
00:07:17Tulip.
00:07:18I wouldn't have talked like that if I'd known it was you, Mr. Green.
00:07:21Cecil, I've got something very special I want to show you.
00:07:24Yeah?
00:07:30It's a genuine Georgian four-poster bed.
00:07:33What, is he still in it?
00:07:35No, Cecil, but you will be if you damage it.
00:07:37Now, I want your man to restore it.
00:07:39New upholstery, new curtains, French polish, the lot.
00:07:42My restorer's name's not Chippendale Charlie for nothing, Wolfie.
00:07:46Don't worry.
00:07:47All right, Cecil.
00:07:4815 pounds, and I want it to look like new.
00:07:50Old new.
00:07:51Otherwise somebody's going to have the painful pleasure
00:07:54of scraping you off the Brighton front.
00:07:56Righto, Wolfie.
00:07:59Hey!
00:08:03Come on, Charlie.
00:08:06Get your skates on.
00:08:09Here, give us a hand here.
00:08:10Now, careful how you go.
00:08:11My goodness.
00:08:12Sorry.
00:08:14This is genuine.
00:08:15I'll tell you what we're going to do.
00:08:17We're going to flog this.
00:08:19You're going to make a perfect copy, and we'll give that to Wolfie Green.
00:08:22Wolfie Green?
00:08:23Yeah.
00:08:24If he finds out, he'll do us.
00:08:26What?
00:08:27Don't be silly.
00:08:28Not with you copying it.
00:08:29Go on, Wolfie, go.
00:08:30I've been dying to have a go, Wolfie Green.
00:08:32By that corner, the cloth's going to fall.
00:08:34Go on.
00:08:35Over here, Charlie.
00:08:36There's a boy.
00:08:37That's right.
00:08:38Hey!
00:08:41Charlie!
00:08:43Is this genuine?
00:08:47It's lovely.
00:08:48Beautiful!
00:08:49As good as old.
00:08:52Charlie, turn it up!
00:08:55Charlie!
00:09:03Wormholes.
00:09:05Wormholes?
00:09:08Charlie, you're a genius.
00:09:10The worms themselves couldn't have done better than that.
00:09:14Hey, has that expert arrived yet?
00:09:16No.
00:09:17Did you say he was honest?
00:09:18Of course he's honest.
00:09:19That's the whole idea.
00:09:20Who'd suspect a mug like that?
00:09:21I would.
00:09:22If the police find out about our fake antique furniture,
00:09:25who gets it in the neck?
00:09:26You do.
00:09:27Not on your life.
00:09:28They'd take one look at me, and they'd know.
00:09:30And who's the only man around here
00:09:32who knows anything about antique furniture?
00:09:34Me.
00:09:35So, who gets it in the neck?
00:09:37Me.
00:09:40So we need an expert.
00:09:41I tell you, this fellow, Bertie Skidmore,
00:09:43is a perfect front man.
00:09:44He's dependable, honest, reliable,
00:09:48and utterly shallow.
00:09:50Honest, reliable, and utterly shallow!
00:10:14Put that over there amongst that junk.
00:10:16I'll lay you 20 to 1 and you'll think it's genuine.
00:10:19Anyway, come on. Here he is.
00:10:22Rosie, you're supposed to be my secretary.
00:10:25Act like one!
00:10:27How do I do that?
00:10:32Here we are.
00:10:34Let me take that, Mr Skidmore.
00:10:36That's a perfect French bust.
00:10:38Oh, thanks.
00:10:40Oh, I... I didn't mean...
00:10:42Never mind what you mean, Mr Skidmore.
00:10:44You know, honesty's the best policy.
00:10:46Me, I can't tell the difference between Queen Anne and Louis Cairns XIV.
00:10:50So that's where you come in.
00:10:52Mind you, I should be very sorry to lose all these antiques,
00:10:54but they've got to be sold.
00:10:56As my wife says, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
00:11:00Oh.
00:11:02Hmm.
00:11:04Oh, this is Mr Trust.
00:11:06He's our restorer.
00:11:08I picked these up yesterday
00:11:10for about half a crown. Quite cheap.
00:11:12Oh, interesting.
00:11:14Late Tudor.
00:11:16No.
00:11:18Early Woolworths.
00:11:20Knows his onions.
00:11:22Oh, I took all the exams, you know.
00:11:24Did you?
00:11:26I didn't pass any of them.
00:11:28You didn't?
00:11:30No.
00:11:32Oh, there's nothing valuable here.
00:11:34No? Are you sure?
00:11:39It can't be.
00:11:41What?
00:11:43It is.
00:11:45What is it?
00:11:47It's a genuine Chippendale chair.
00:11:49No.
00:11:51It's worth £50, at least.
00:11:53We'd clear £300 if we had the set.
00:11:55I told you he was an expert.
00:11:57Yes.
00:12:15Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
00:12:17ba-rum, ba-rum, ba-rum.
00:12:19Bum, ba-bum.
00:12:21Oh, oui, oui.
00:12:23That's right, oui, oui.
00:12:25Oh, c'est magnifique.
00:12:27Merci.
00:12:39What did he want?
00:12:41The wheel of the bear flower.
00:12:43You twerp. I'll get you one of them.
00:13:14Oh, yes.
00:13:24Find the curb.
00:13:26Make it simple. That's it.
00:13:40Just add that extra bit of clouds tomorrow.
00:13:42Extra bit of clouds to my lounge.
00:13:44Fancy.
00:13:46You say Nell Gwyn used to own that.
00:13:48Aye, there's been many a rosy cheek framed in that.
00:13:50There.
00:13:52Isn't that lovely?
00:13:54Because I don't want no trash, Bertie, dear.
00:13:56Here.
00:13:58How much is that, sir boy?
00:14:00Oh, now, this is a real bargain.
00:14:02It's 150 years old, at least.
00:14:04It's a smasher.
00:14:06Here, Bertie, what's this?
00:14:08I don't know.
00:14:10I expect that's where it was made.
00:14:12Lille in northern France.
00:14:14French, old world, that accounts for the class.
00:14:16And you can see it's genuine
00:14:18by all these wormholes.
00:14:20Oh, yes, I...
00:14:26Good morning, Mr Green.
00:14:28Do you think so?
00:14:30Mr Gibson's busy.
00:14:32It better be.
00:14:34It's our little baby to kill them.
00:14:36Wolfie.
00:14:40Oh, yeah.
00:14:44Cecil, you've been very foolish.
00:14:46And with my bed.
00:14:48Your bed, Wolfie?
00:14:50Ah, your bed.
00:14:52Oh, that was a joke.
00:14:56Oh, not a joke, it was.
00:14:58Who's laughing?
00:15:00Nobody.
00:15:02Now, Cecil, you know how upset I get
00:15:04when anybody tries to cheat me.
00:15:06But, Wolfie...
00:15:09So listen, Cecil,
00:15:11before I dub you the Earless Knight.
00:15:13But, Wolfie,
00:15:15it was a little mistake.
00:15:17When you do business with Wolfie Green,
00:15:19you don't make mistakes.
00:15:21You don't quote him 15 pounds
00:15:23and send him a bill for 15 guineas,
00:15:25no matter how nicely it might be typed.
00:15:27Oh, is that all?
00:15:29Anybody does me out of 15 shillings
00:15:31or 15 pounds,
00:15:33I get the same treatment.
00:15:35My heartfelt apologies, Wolfie.
00:15:37But I always make it guineas
00:15:39for me aristocratic customers, see?
00:15:41Oh, by the way,
00:15:43was the restoration of the bed satisfactory?
00:15:45And for 15 pounds, it shouldn't be satisfactory?
00:15:49Anyway, I've made a nice profit.
00:15:51If I have any complaints from my client,
00:15:53I'll let you know.
00:15:55You won't get any complaints, Wolfie, don't worry.
00:15:57You never complain, do you, Rosie?
00:16:03What a wonderful sense of humour, honey!
00:16:07I hope you took that little lesson
00:16:09to heart, Bertie.
00:16:11I, um...
00:16:15Goodbye, sir.
00:16:25Mr. Gibson's out.
00:16:27Oh.
00:16:29And how are you getting on, Bertie?
00:16:31Oh.
00:16:33How gallant!
00:16:41Julie!
00:16:43Julie, it was a little accident!
00:16:45It's going to be a worse accident!
00:16:47Wait for me!
00:17:01Mr. Gibson.
00:17:03I've got something terrible to show you.
00:17:05I've got something terrible I can't show you.
00:17:07You remember the Prince Regent's commode
00:17:09that His Highness used
00:17:11on his weekends in Brighton?
00:17:13Oh, yes, you did very well with that, Bertie.
00:17:15You got 74 guineas for it.
00:17:17Well, that's just it. The Prince Regent never used it.
00:17:19What, the whole weekend?
00:17:21We've sold a fake, Mr. Gibson.
00:17:23A fake?
00:17:25Bertie, this is a catastrophe!
00:17:27The real commode's in the British Museum.
00:17:30Look, it says so in the catalogue.
00:17:32We'll have to buy it back, Mr. Gibson.
00:17:34We? You mean you, don't you, Bertie?
00:17:36You're the expert.
00:17:38Honesty is the best policy.
00:17:40Aye.
00:17:42I'll go and see Mr. Wolfie Green right away.
00:17:44You do that thing, Bertie.
00:17:48Wolfie Green!
00:17:50Bertie!
00:17:52Bert...
00:17:54Bertie!
00:18:00Skidmore!
00:18:04Skidmore!
00:18:06Turn it up, will you?
00:18:08Wolfie, you're murderous.
00:18:10Honesty is the best policy.
00:18:14Now, listen to me, Bertie.
00:18:16Skidmore!
00:18:18Look out!
00:18:20You'll run the copper over!
00:18:22The foot brake won't work.
00:18:24Use your hand brake.
00:18:26Nice weather for brightening, isn't it?
00:18:46Come on, Bertie!
00:18:56Mr. Gibson, our reputation's at stake.
00:18:58It won't be our reputation that will get hurt.
00:19:01Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
00:19:03Let go of me!
00:19:19Why don't you leave me alone with you?
00:19:21Ah!
00:19:23Ah!
00:19:25Ah!
00:19:45Look out!
00:19:55Ah! Ah!
00:19:57...the soul of our dear departed Cecil Gibson.
00:19:59And remember that he has left us
00:20:01only in body and not in spirit.
00:20:03We brought nothing into this world
00:20:05and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
00:20:07The Lord gave and the Lord hath made.
00:20:19I thee wed
00:20:21and with all my worldly goods
00:20:24I thee endow
00:20:26until death us do part.
00:20:30Amen.
00:20:42Victor!
00:20:44Sorry, Ma.
00:20:46What will the shepherd think?
00:20:48Well, thank heavens that's over.
00:20:50Victor, put that black tie on back again.
00:20:52You're not going to receive your guests half naked.
00:20:54Oh, it's me collar that's too tight,
00:20:56not me trousers.
00:20:58Victor, don't be coarse.
00:21:00Here.
00:21:02Is that your daughter on there?
00:21:06Blimey!
00:21:08Hello! Hello, Auntie.
00:21:10Well, well, well, where's the happy couple?
00:21:12I thought they were with you.
00:21:14Well, well, well.
00:21:16Oh, Victor, you've lost them already.
00:21:22Wait!
00:21:32Wait!
00:21:34Wait!
00:21:36Wait!
00:21:38Wait for us!
00:21:40Here, please, wait.
00:21:42Any room on top?
00:21:44Depends what you want to do, mate.
00:21:52Oh!
00:21:54My veil!
00:21:56Oh, never mind.
00:21:58Everyone's watched it, hasn't they?
00:22:22Two to the ice rink, please.
00:22:24Well, you go skating.
00:22:27Here comes the bride.
00:22:29Here comes the bride.
00:22:31Here comes the bride.
00:22:33Here comes the bride.
00:22:35Here comes the bride.
00:22:37Here comes the bride.
00:22:39Here comes the bride.
00:22:41Here comes the bride.
00:22:43Here comes the bride.
00:22:45Here comes the bride.
00:22:47Here comes the bride.
00:22:49Here comes the bride.
00:22:51Here comes the bride.
00:22:53Here comes the bride.
00:22:55Here comes the bride.
00:22:57La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:22:59Here comes the bride.
00:23:03Anyone want the telly?
00:23:10Here they come!
00:23:12Where?
00:23:14Ben, switch on the electric pianola.
00:23:16Da, da.
00:23:18Da, da, da, da.
00:23:20Da, da, da, da, da.
00:23:22Da, da, da.
00:23:24Oh, I wish I hadn't done that.
00:23:26So do I, I feel sick.
00:23:28Well, well.
00:23:30Well, now we can get on with the lovely bubbly.
00:23:36Bullseye!
00:23:37Oh, Victor!
00:23:39Sorry, love.
00:23:40I'm ever so sorry, Auntie.
00:23:46It's that fool of a husband of mine.
00:23:48Where?
00:23:50Oh, it's lovely.
00:23:52Oh, it's lovely.
00:23:56Bless you.
00:23:57Never mind, I have some champagne.
00:24:01Fill it up then, Dad.
00:24:02You're too young.
00:24:03I'm not, am I?
00:24:07And I feel today that I'm not so much losing a daughter as gaining a son.
00:24:13Put a sock in it, Dad.
00:24:15And I hope for a Christmas present that I shall have a grandson.
00:24:19Christmas?
00:24:20Oh, lovely.
00:24:22Just like Bertie.
00:24:24Oh, Daddy, give them time.
00:24:27That's right, Bertie boy.
00:24:29Keep up your strength for the honeymoon.
00:24:31Oh, Dad.
00:24:32It's a long way to Weston-super-Mare.
00:24:34Oh, Bertie.
00:24:37Here's to the bride and groom.
00:24:40To the bride and groom.
00:24:42Now, Bertie.
00:24:44Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy.
00:24:47Turn it up, love.
00:24:48Oh, Auntie.
00:24:55Victor.
00:24:57Look what you've done.
00:24:59How many more times I've got to tell you.
00:25:02That's what I was wondering.
00:25:03Well, it's the oldest bit of antiquity in the room.
00:25:07Oh, no.
00:25:08There is something much older.
00:25:10What's that then?
00:25:12Look at the mirror.
00:25:14Well, well.
00:25:17Oh, Victor.
00:25:19Oh, I didn't mean you, Mara.
00:25:21I meant...
00:25:22No, she'd think you didn't mean me.
00:25:24Well, well.
00:25:25Anybody want to see the presents?
00:25:32Be a dear and clear up in here while I'm in there.
00:25:37Come on, let's get cracking.
00:25:41That's it.
00:25:42Aren't they lovely?
00:25:43I thought you'd like a cruet set.
00:25:45So did we.
00:25:47Never mind.
00:25:50What's that?
00:25:52Oh, Bertie, do you think it's a fridge?
00:25:57That wasn't there when we left.
00:25:59Well, who's it from?
00:26:01What a big budgerigar.
00:26:03Oh, I don't know.
00:26:05I don't know.
00:26:07Well, who's it from?
00:26:09What a big budgerigar.
00:26:11Oh, Dad.
00:26:12No, it's not.
00:26:13It's a parrot.
00:26:15Oh, it's rather sweet, isn't it, Bertie?
00:26:17Well, who ever can have sent that?
00:26:20Oh, look.
00:26:21There's a card here.
00:26:23To Bertie and Julie.
00:26:25May you get all the luck you deserve.
00:26:27Well.
00:26:28But there's no signature.
00:26:30Oh, there's something on the back.
00:26:32The blue-backed...
00:26:34What?
00:26:35Amazon.
00:26:36The blue-backed Amazon
00:26:38is a rare species of South American parrot
00:26:41regarded by the natives as an omen of good fortune
00:26:44and fruitful love.
00:26:46Oh, Bertie.
00:26:48That's you all over.
00:26:50You let me look.
00:26:52And its presence at the marriage ritual
00:26:54will increase virility in the male
00:26:57and fertility in the female.
00:27:00Oh.
00:27:01Well, well.
00:27:03Oh, aren't we lucky, Bertie?
00:27:05And we can take him with us to Western Supermare.
00:27:08Huh?
00:27:09Sounds nasty to me, blue-bottomed Amazon.
00:27:12Blue-backed, Ma. Blue-backed.
00:27:14Well, I'm sure none of my relations sent it.
00:27:17Is it a male or a female?
00:27:20I can't tell without me glasses.
00:27:22Oh, well.
00:27:23He's lovely, whatever he is.
00:27:25And we can take him with us, can't we, Bertie?
00:27:28Well, two's comfy.
00:27:29Oh, go on.
00:27:30Three lovebirds together.
00:27:33He'll be our good luck mascot.
00:27:35Coming from nowhere like this.
00:27:37A sort of a sign.
00:27:39Oh, aren't we lucky.
00:27:41What did it say now?
00:27:43Virility and fertility.
00:27:46Well, well, well.
00:27:48I think it's time we were going.
00:27:50Oh, shame.
00:27:51We'll see the male then.
00:27:52Come on, Dad.
00:27:53Goodbye.
00:27:54Goodbye.
00:27:55Thank you for the presents.
00:27:56Thank you for the crutch and the lovely torch trucks.
00:27:59Oh, my Bertie.
00:28:01Bertie.
00:28:02My love.
00:28:03Oh, my veil.
00:28:05I'm going to make you a good husband.
00:28:07And I'm going to see that you do.
00:28:10Oh, you do love me, don't you, Bertie?
00:28:12More than ever.
00:28:14Did you love me as much yesterday?
00:28:16Of course I did.
00:28:17Well, how can you love me more than ever?
00:28:20I can't.
00:28:22You mean you don't?
00:28:23No, I love you more than I did yesterday.
00:28:26And tomorrow I'll love you some more.
00:28:29Oh, Bertie.
00:28:31That's wonderful.
00:28:35Bye-bye.
00:28:36Goodbye, Auntie.
00:28:37Bye-bye.
00:28:39Bye, sweetheart.
00:28:40See you tonight.
00:28:55When we've got Fay off our hands,
00:28:57we'll have another honeymoon.
00:28:59Just you and me.
00:29:00Eh, Daddy?
00:29:01And peace and quiet.
00:29:10And peace and quiet.
00:29:17Hurry up, love.
00:29:19And let's get started.
00:29:28Oh!
00:29:33Oh!
00:29:34Bit of an idiot!
00:29:36Eh?
00:29:37Bit of an idiot!
00:29:44Anybody here?
00:29:46Only me.
00:29:47Pardon?
00:29:48Granted.
00:29:50How come you can talk?
00:29:52Hey, hey, that's jumping.
00:29:54Pretty Polly.
00:29:55Pretty Polly.
00:29:56Come on, Pretty Polly.
00:29:57You won't think it's so ruddy, champion,
00:29:59when I'm finished with you.
00:30:01Oh!
00:30:04You know, that voice reminds me
00:30:06of my late friend Cecil.
00:30:08That's right.
00:30:09Not so much to the light.
00:30:10Got here just in time, didn't I?
00:30:12You're not Cecil.
00:30:13You can't be Cecil.
00:30:15You're a parrot from South America.
00:30:17I am Cecil.
00:30:19Where I come from, it's a ruddy sight
00:30:21hotter than South America.
00:30:23Oh, I think I can see it.
00:30:32I'm going daft.
00:30:33Oh!
00:30:37Bertie, are you all right?
00:30:40Come on, stop fooling.
00:30:42Julie's almost ready.
00:30:50She's my missus.
00:30:51She's my missus.
00:30:53She's not your missus.
00:30:54She's my missus.
00:30:55And you're not coming on the honeymoon.
00:30:57I didn't come on yours.
00:30:59Anyway, you don't really think
00:31:01I believe you're Cecil, do you?
00:31:03Hmm?
00:31:04Come here.
00:31:09Hasn't her wife got a mole
00:31:10on the left-hand side of...
00:31:13How do I know?
00:31:14I...
00:31:15I only married her this morning.
00:31:17This is my going-away outfit.
00:31:19Listen, Julie, quickly.
00:31:21Have you got a mole on the...
00:31:25Oh, Bertie, you've been peeping.
00:31:28No.
00:31:29Oh, you naughty boy.
00:31:30How did you know that I got a mole?
00:31:32I, uh...
00:31:33I know.
00:31:34A little birdie told you.
00:31:36Oh, no.
00:31:38Oh, what's the matter, Bertie?
00:31:40I'm feeling weak at the knees.
00:31:42Oh.
00:31:43Oh, no.
00:31:44I'm feeling weak at the knees.
00:31:46Oh.
00:31:47Oh, not just before our honeymoon.
00:31:50Let's go now.
00:31:51Oh, Bertie.
00:31:52Oh, you are impetuous.
00:31:54You and me and Polly.
00:31:55Oh, no.
00:31:56Polly's not coming with us.
00:31:57That's indecent.
00:31:58Well, we can put a cover over the cage.
00:32:00No, that wouldn't help.
00:32:02But he's our good luck omen.
00:32:04He's come to us straight from heaven.
00:32:06Oh, no, he hasn't.
00:32:08You never spoke to me like this
00:32:10before we were married.
00:32:11You don't understand, love.
00:32:13Yes, I do.
00:32:14Oh, listen, love.
00:32:15Let me explain.
00:32:17You're a cruel monster.
00:32:19It's that blue-bottomed bird.
00:32:21Oh.
00:32:22Well, if Polly doesn't come with us,
00:32:24you can jolly well go on your own.
00:32:26Monster.
00:32:27Didn't take him long to settle down, did it?
00:32:29Oh, be quiet, Victor.
00:32:33Mum.
00:32:34Mum.
00:32:35Oh.
00:32:36Dad.
00:32:37What's the matter, then?
00:32:39Cecil, I'm going to have to pluck you.
00:32:43What's going on in this house?
00:32:45What's all this about the honeymoon
00:32:47and the flippin' parrot?
00:32:48That's just it.
00:32:49I've got the bird.
00:32:50Aye?
00:32:51Oh, anyway, parrots give me hair fever.
00:32:54Well, have a drop of this.
00:32:55Well, I want to take it,
00:32:56and he promised me,
00:32:57and I'm going to take it.
00:32:59There, that's what mummy likes to hear.
00:33:01Oh.
00:33:02It's all right, Julie.
00:33:04The boy's very fond of parrots,
00:33:06but they give him hay fever.
00:33:08Well, why didn't he say so?
00:33:11So there you are.
00:33:12Mummy and Daddy will look after him for you,
00:33:14and you get off to your honeymoon
00:33:16before it gets dark.
00:33:20Well, that's prepared to you
00:33:21coming on our honeymoon.
00:33:23Hay fever.
00:33:25All fake furniture.
00:33:28All fake furniture?
00:33:30What, this lovely French sideboard
00:33:32and this old mirror?
00:33:34All fake furniture.
00:33:37Fake?
00:33:38All fake furniture.
00:33:41All fake furniture.
00:33:54You cup it!
00:33:55You cup it!
00:33:56You cup it!
00:34:04Leo.
00:34:05Leo, that's where it was made,
00:34:06in northern France.
00:34:11Tatty and Niv. Tatty and...
00:34:14Tate and Lyle.
00:34:17Oh, no!
00:34:19Hey, that's toilet.
00:34:22If Ma finds out, I've had it.
00:34:24Fake furniture. Fake furniture.
00:34:26Right.
00:34:28Now, I've got to fix you.
00:34:36I'll have to do it, that's all.
00:34:38I'll pretend to give him a bath.
00:34:41Hurry, make a mist.
00:34:56I'm off, Ma.
00:34:57Where are you going, dear?
00:34:59To the pictures.
00:35:01What song?
00:35:05Dracula.
00:35:08Oh!
00:35:12You're in a hurry.
00:35:14Oh, Bertie.
00:35:16We've had our first quarrel.
00:35:18Don't worry, love, we'll have plenty more.
00:35:20No, we won't.
00:35:22Because I'm going to give in to my masterful Bertie.
00:35:24We can leave Polly behind.
00:35:26Hello, Ma. Fake furniture. Fake furniture.
00:35:28Oh, he talks.
00:35:30He's a clever boy, a clever.
00:35:32We're going to have some nice little talks together.
00:35:34Fake furniture. Fake furniture.
00:35:36Nice.
00:35:38And while we're away, Mum can look after Polly.
00:35:40Oh.
00:35:42What? You mean that we can take him with us?
00:35:44No, I've got to give him away.
00:35:46Raffle him, stuff him.
00:35:48But he's a wedding present for fertility.
00:35:50Blast our wedding, I hate fertility.
00:35:52Oh.
00:35:54Oh, Bertie's gone mad.
00:35:56Get a doctor.
00:35:58Never mind a doctor.
00:36:00Fetch a vet.
00:36:02All right, Bertie boy, steady.
00:36:05It's the excitement.
00:36:07The doctor will give you a sedative.
00:36:13A sedative.
00:36:15On me honeymoon.
00:36:17Steady, Bertie boy, steady.
00:36:19You're right.
00:36:21I'm ill.
00:36:30Huh, where is it now?
00:36:32Huh.
00:36:35Are you breathing?
00:36:37Eh?
00:36:42Ah, there it is.
00:36:48A bit past.
00:36:50Well, I expect you're all right.
00:36:52Below the neck.
00:36:54We'll take him away, Dad.
00:36:56Don't worry, love.
00:36:58The morning I married your mother, I thought I was mad.
00:37:00Are you interested in the opposite sex?
00:37:02Well, I'm on me honeymoon.
00:37:04Oh.
00:37:06Then what are you doing here?
00:37:08Ask my wife's first husband.
00:37:10Aha.
00:37:14Doctor,
00:37:16you see that parrot over there?
00:37:18Yes?
00:37:20It isn't.
00:37:22Isn't what?
00:37:24A parrot.
00:37:26Isn't a parrot?
00:37:28That's the trouble.
00:37:31I thought you said your wife's first husband was the trouble.
00:37:33That is my wife's first husband.
00:37:39Cuckoo.
00:37:41Oh, I see.
00:37:43Yes, yes.
00:37:45He's been blackmailing me ever since I got here.
00:37:47Say something.
00:37:49Go on, I dare you.
00:37:51Cuckoo, cuckoo.
00:37:53Tell him who you are.
00:37:55Tell him about the mall and our wives, you know what.
00:37:57Cuckoo, cuckoo.
00:37:59You see, he's trying to make out I'm nuts.
00:38:01Cuckoo, cuckoo.
00:38:03Well, he's not going to get away with it.
00:38:05Go on, Cecil.
00:38:07Just tell him who you are.
00:38:09Go on, Cecil, I dare you.
00:38:11Cuckoo, cuckoo.
00:38:15What did he say, Doctor?
00:38:17Cuckoo.
00:38:19Oh.
00:38:21Is that all?
00:38:23That's all one may expect from a poor dumb animal.
00:38:25Oh, I see you understand the boy.
00:38:28Ah, he's bad, I'm afraid.
00:38:34The boy is suffering from a mild attack
00:38:36of dementia precox.
00:38:38Oh, first it's parrots and now it's peacocks.
00:38:40Is it serious?
00:38:42At the moment, it's in the hallucination stage.
00:38:44I won't go into details,
00:38:46but for the next two days
00:38:48he must have complete isolation.
00:38:50But we're on our honeymoon.
00:38:52Never mind, darling.
00:38:54Mummy will bring you up some trifle.
00:38:58Oh.
00:39:10DOG BARKING
00:39:22Shh, Faye, don't make a noise, dear.
00:39:24Julie's asleep
00:39:27and Bertie's up in the box room.
00:39:29Why, what's happened?
00:39:31Never mind. Lock your door.
00:39:33He's got dementia precox.
00:39:35Oh.
00:39:37Poor Julie.
00:39:39It's a night of all nights.
00:39:51Goodnight, Julie.
00:39:53Oh, goodnight.
00:39:57DOOR CREAKS
00:40:03Put a sock in it, love.
00:40:05Our little girl
00:40:07all alone on her wedding night.
00:40:09Oh, give it a rest, love.
00:40:11And take that dementia precox
00:40:13off your face.
00:40:15And Bertie
00:40:17spending the night with that parrot.
00:40:21Cuckoo.
00:40:23Cuckoo, cuckoo.
00:40:25Oh, shut up, shut up!
00:40:27WHISTLES
00:40:31Go to sleep.
00:40:53DOOR CREAKS
00:41:01DOOR CREAKS
00:41:09DOOR CLOSES
00:41:11Out you go, Whiskey.
00:41:13And don't make a noise
00:41:15and wake up your ma.
00:41:17DOOR CLOSES
00:41:20WHISTLING
00:41:24WHIMPERS
00:41:26GIGGLES
00:41:28GIGGLES
00:41:30GIGGLES
00:41:32GIGGLES
00:41:44WHISTLING
00:41:47Ma, the parrot's out.
00:41:49WHISTLING
00:41:52Oh, what a night.
00:41:54WHISTLING
00:41:56DOOR CREAKS
00:42:11DOOR OPENS
00:42:13DOOR CLOSES
00:42:17DOOR OPENS
00:42:19WHISTLING
00:42:21WHISTLING
00:42:23WHISTLING
00:42:25DOOR OPENS
00:42:31DOOR CLOSES
00:42:48DOOR OPENS
00:42:50DOOR CLOSES
00:42:53DOOR CLOSES
00:43:01DOOR CLOSES
00:43:07DOOR CLOSES
00:43:13DOOR OPENS
00:43:15DOOR CLOSES
00:43:17DOOR OPENS
00:43:19DOOR CLOSES
00:43:21WHISTLING
00:43:27Aren't you well, lad?
00:43:29No, I've got the...
00:43:31I'm...
00:43:33I'm all right now.
00:43:35WHISTLING
00:43:45KNOCKING
00:43:51DOOR OPENS
00:43:53DOOR CLOSES
00:44:00DOOR OPENS
00:44:05DOOR OPENS
00:44:07DOOR CLOSES
00:44:14WHISTLING
00:44:31Hey!
00:44:33What are you up to?
00:44:35Shh!
00:44:37What are you up to?
00:44:39I'm trying to get to me wife's bedroom.
00:44:41Why?
00:44:43I'm on me honeymoon.
00:44:45Oh!
00:44:48WHISTLING
00:45:01My loved one.
00:45:07Sugarplum.
00:45:18DOOR OPENS
00:45:28SCREAMING
00:45:30Oh! Oh!
00:45:32SCREAMING
00:45:34Oh, no!
00:45:36SCREAMING
00:45:38Oh, please!
00:45:40Please!
00:45:42SCREAMING
00:45:44Please!
00:45:47Oh, no!
00:45:49Quiet, dear. I won't touch you.
00:45:51I thought this was Julie's room.
00:45:53Will you find me, Bertie?
00:45:55Oh, go back to bed, please.
00:45:57Go on.
00:46:09KNOCKING
00:46:11Julie! Julie!
00:46:13KNOCKING
00:46:16Oh!
00:46:20Oh, Bertie, my precious.
00:46:22You've come to me.
00:46:30KNOCKING
00:46:32Oh, Bertie.
00:46:34Have they come to take you away?
00:46:36Huh?
00:46:38KNOCKING
00:46:40Right, I can hear you.
00:46:43BARKING
00:46:49Ben!
00:46:51Where is he?
00:46:53Have you gone mad?
00:46:55Ben!
00:46:57I'll kill him!
00:46:59No! No!
00:47:01Ben, have you gone mad?
00:47:03Where is he?
00:47:05What is it, Faye?
00:47:07I knew you hadn't gone back to Bertie.
00:47:09It's just that silly talk in Paris.
00:47:11It's worse than that. It's not a parrot at all.
00:47:13It's really Cecil.
00:47:15Oh!
00:47:17Julie!
00:47:21I'll kill him!
00:47:23Stand back!
00:47:25No! No! Not again!
00:47:27Julie!
00:47:32Oh, Bertie!
00:47:34Oh, Bertie!
00:47:38Good morning. Good morning.
00:47:41This is your lot, Cecil or no Cecil.
00:47:53There we are.
00:47:55Now then, in you go.
00:48:01Come on! Come on!
00:48:03No! No!
00:48:05No, Ben! No!
00:48:07Not again! Ben!
00:48:09Get back!
00:48:17Where is he?
00:48:19Come on! Come on!
00:48:39Woof! Woof!
00:48:41Woof! Woof!
00:48:43Woof! Woof! Woof!
00:48:53Make ready to...
00:48:55Help!
00:48:57Police!
00:48:59Help!
00:49:01Police!
00:49:09Help! Murder!
00:49:11Police!
00:49:15Help! Murder!
00:49:17Police!
00:49:27I'll have the law on you!
00:49:39Not one penny piece of iron from him.
00:49:41Not one penny maintenance.
00:49:43He left me with everything on the HP.
00:49:45The fridge, the telly,
00:49:47three kids and one on the way.
00:49:49He left me flatty dead.
00:49:51What's that?
00:49:53Left me flatty dead.
00:49:55You mean he left your apartment?
00:49:57Left her with no visible means of support, sir.
00:49:59Well, why doesn't she say what she means?
00:50:01Left me right up the creek, he did.
00:50:03Spending all my maintenance on some floozy.
00:50:05And I had to go and work myself with one on the way
00:50:07and all and then the telly and the fridge and the HP
00:50:09and the doctor telling me I have to...
00:50:17Mr. Warmonger.
00:50:19Ye?
00:50:21I suggest that we adjourn this case and proceed with the next.
00:50:23Oh, yes, yes, proceed.
00:50:27If you can't return to your seat, Mrs. Jackson.
00:50:31Call Mr. Bertram Skidmore.
00:50:33Mr. Bertram Skidmore.
00:50:35Mr. Bertram Skidmore.
00:50:41Dad.
00:50:51You're charged with trespassing on company property,
00:50:53maltreating a dumb animal
00:50:55and resisting arrest by precipitating
00:50:57an officer of the law into the sea.
00:50:59Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
00:51:01Well, taking all things into consideration...
00:51:03This court will decide whether or not
00:51:05anything will be taken into consideration.
00:51:07You've treated your wife abominably.
00:51:09Not one penny have you paid her.
00:51:11Three televisions,
00:51:13a refrigerator and another on the way.
00:51:15Atrocious.
00:51:17What have you to say for yourself?
00:51:19Not guilty.
00:51:21This isn't the case, sir.
00:51:23Of course it's the case.
00:51:25He's flagrantly refused to comply with this court's maintenance order.
00:51:27Eh?
00:51:29Be quiet.
00:51:31Oh, no, not my husband.
00:51:33Oh, quick, Dad.
00:51:35Have you got a bit of paper?
00:51:37Please, Constable Lovejoy.
00:51:45Raise your right hand and read this card.
00:51:47I swear by almighty God
00:51:49that the evidence I shall give
00:51:51shall be the truth, the whole truth
00:51:53and nothing but the truth.
00:51:55Ah.
00:51:57Will you tell the court of the events
00:51:59and the arrest of the accused?
00:52:01On the night of June the 15th,
00:52:03I was patrolling the Limington Road
00:52:05when the accused appeared from an attic window
00:52:07in a state of undress.
00:52:09Is this man charged with burglary?
00:52:11No, sir.
00:52:13Is he accused of indecent exposures?
00:52:15No, sir.
00:52:17Then what the blazes is the constable blathering about?
00:52:19Mr. Warmonger,
00:52:21you are under a misapprehension.
00:52:23Misapprehension?
00:52:25It's you who are confusing the issue.
00:52:27This poor woman left destitute
00:52:29with a refrigerator,
00:52:31a television set and three children on the HP.
00:52:35Now, constable,
00:52:37you arrested the accused, did you not?
00:52:39I did, sir.
00:52:41Where?
00:52:43In the English Channel, sir.
00:52:45He grabbed the laundry bag
00:52:47and went in.
00:52:49Laundry bag? What laundry bag?
00:52:51The one I put the parrot in.
00:52:53The parrot was a wedding present, sir.
00:52:55Ah, maybe.
00:52:57But it's the maintenance that matters
00:52:59and...
00:53:05All right, constable, you can stand down.
00:53:15Could you give this to the old gentleman
00:53:17sitting in the armchair?
00:53:21Go on.
00:53:23Go on.
00:53:35Your wife wishes to give evidence on your behalf.
00:53:37Are you agreeable?
00:53:39Oh, aye.
00:53:41Would you go into the witness box,
00:53:43Mrs. Skidmore?
00:53:53Raise your right hand and read this card.
00:53:57I swear by almighty God
00:53:59that the evidence I shall give
00:54:01shall be the truth, the whole truth,
00:54:03and nothing but the truth.
00:54:05You're Mrs. Bertram Skidmore?
00:54:07Oh, yes.
00:54:09Yes, I am.
00:54:11Bert is all right.
00:54:13Honestly, he is.
00:54:15It was all the excitement yesterday
00:54:17and all that champagne. It was too much for him.
00:54:19It just made him feel a bit woozy.
00:54:21Aha!
00:54:23So you're the floozy?
00:54:25Yes. I beg your pardon?
00:54:27Utterly shameless!
00:54:29You've treated Mrs. Jackson abominably.
00:54:31Your morals leave a lot to be desired,
00:54:33Miss, uh...
00:54:35Mrs.? Do you mind?
00:54:37You mean to say that you're a married woman?
00:54:39This is monstrous.
00:54:41I should say it's monstrous.
00:54:43Call Mrs. Jackson.
00:54:45You may leave the stand.
00:54:47Sir.
00:55:01Miss, Mrs. Jackson,
00:55:03you must have heard the evidence
00:55:05of the floozy and your husband standing there.
00:55:07My husband?
00:55:09He ain't here, is he?
00:55:11Over there in the dock.
00:55:15He ain't my husband.
00:55:17Whose husband are you?
00:55:19Hers.
00:55:21Are you or are you not Mr. Jackson?
00:55:23No, I am not.
00:55:25Then there's been a gross miscarriage of justice.
00:55:27Constable, you've made a wrongful arrest
00:55:29and you've made this court look foolish.
00:55:33Mr. Skidmore,
00:55:35I trust this unfortunate episode
00:55:37won't affect your opinion of British justice.
00:55:39You are unconditionally discharged
00:55:41and you may leave this court
00:55:43with your head held high.
00:55:45Oh.
00:55:47Oh, Percy, my precious.
00:55:49The blue-back pigeon is a ward of court
00:55:51and will be handed over to the RSPCA.
00:55:53RSPCA.
00:55:55That's what I said.
00:56:03Never mind, Percy.
00:56:05Now we can go on our honeymoon.
00:56:09Now we come to the more straightforward case
00:56:11of trespassing on Brighton Pier.
00:56:15Taxi's here.
00:56:19Taxi's here.
00:56:21Careful now, Bertie, careful.
00:56:23Julie, taxi's here.
00:56:25Mum, taxi.
00:56:27I won't be a minute.
00:56:33Oh, you...
00:56:35What have I done?
00:56:37Nothing, you...
00:56:39Oh, come on.
00:56:41Put those in the taxi.
00:56:43I'll send Julie down.
00:56:45Ah!
00:56:47I'll put it down.
00:57:12Can you see your past life flashing before your eyes, Bertie Skidmore?
00:57:17No.
00:57:18You will do, because you ain't got long before you're gonna join that partner of yours.
00:57:22Unless you get me back my genuine Georgian four-poster bed.
00:57:26Four-poster?
00:57:27Yes.
00:57:29The bed that you and Cicel restored for me.
00:57:33The bed that I sold to a highly important client,
00:57:36who phones me to say that he's got an expert cataloguing his furniture,
00:57:40who tells him his bed ain't genuine Georgian,
00:57:43but genuine anything else.
00:57:46Oh, dear.
00:57:48Coming, Precious.
00:57:52So, Lady Precious Dream,
00:57:56you're going to get me back my genuine four-poster bed.
00:58:00I don't know where it is.
00:58:01And when you get me back my genuine four-poster bed,
00:58:04you're going to change it for the very un-genuine four-poster bed.
00:58:07What about my honeymoon?
00:58:09And you're going to do it by tomorrow morning,
00:58:12because when I go round to explain,
00:58:14I don't want to have nothing to explain.
00:58:15But I don't know where it is.
00:58:20Here's the address.
00:58:22W.D. Warmonger?
00:58:24Oh, the birches. Birchbottom.
00:58:26You'll deliver it there by nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
00:58:30Otherwise, you're going to join your late partner.
00:58:35Plugging fake harps.
00:58:46Bye-bye, Mum. Bye-bye, Daddy.
00:58:49Bertie, Precious.
00:58:51Bye-bye, Mum. Bye-bye, Daddy.
00:58:53Bye-bye.
00:58:57Bertie.
00:58:59Come on, Bertie, let's get off.
00:59:02I'm not going on me honeymoon.
00:59:04I'm getting back that genuine Georgian four-poster bed.
00:59:08Oh.
00:59:09Oh, Mum.
00:59:11Mummy's gone off again.
00:59:13Mum. Julie.
00:59:14Oh.
00:59:16Where ever can he have got to?
00:59:19I don't know. He said he was going to look for a four-poster bed.
00:59:22So he hasn't entirely given up thoughts of his honeymoon.
00:59:25Oh, shut up.
00:59:27Tell me, Charlie, who did Cecil sell the genuine bed to?
00:59:31Oh, I don't know.
00:59:33Only Cecil can tell you that.
00:59:35But he's dead.
00:59:36Oh, yes, that's right.
00:59:38Pity you can't get in touch with him.
00:59:42Maybe I can.
00:59:54Cecil, Cecil, if you are Cecil,
00:59:57which are you, Cecil?
00:59:59Cecil. Cecil.
01:00:03I'm sure one of you's Cecil.
01:00:06Cecil! Cecil!
01:00:08What are you doing in there?
01:00:10One of these birds is Cecil.
01:00:12One of these birds is Cecil.
01:00:14I don't care about Cecil.
01:00:16Go on, up you go.
01:00:18I'll be one of them, Cecil.
01:00:40See you later.
01:01:10Cecil, Cecil, come here!
01:01:17Cecil!
01:01:19Come here, Cecil!
01:01:28Come here this minute!
01:01:33Come here this minute!
01:01:41Look what you've done!
01:01:44Cecil, Cecil! Who did you sell the four-forster to?
01:01:51Who did you sell the men to?
01:02:10Oi!
01:02:11You weren't long, darling.
01:02:41Tea, darling?
01:02:55Follow that boat!
01:02:56Yes, follow the boat!
01:03:11Cecil, Cecil, come here!
01:03:42What's your name?
01:03:45I'm sorry!
01:04:11Thank you, thank you, thank you!
01:04:25Well, here we all are gathered joyously together,
01:04:29getting more friendly and more loving towards each other.
01:04:34But then, let us remember
01:04:37that we live in a happy and friendly neighborhood
01:04:43where peace is all around us.
01:04:47What are you doing? You should be ashamed of yourself.
01:04:50In front of the figure, too!
01:04:52That this quiet and fruitful joy,
01:04:56which we all share,
01:04:58will be universal.
01:05:01But when we read the papers these days,
01:05:05we wonder what may become of us.
01:05:09However, we must trust to Providence.
01:05:14Let us remember...
01:05:16Oh, no, Mrs. Brown.
01:05:18...that the good things of this earth...
01:05:20So sorry to be late, Vicar. Don't worry about me.
01:05:23...can be enhanced...
01:05:25Come along, Master. Sit down.
01:05:29Hello.
01:05:32As I was saying, let us remember...
01:05:35What was I saying?
01:05:37You were enhanced by the good things.
01:05:39Yes, yes.
01:05:41Let us remember that the good things of this earth
01:05:44can be enhanced by the good things of mankind.
01:05:48In this comfortable age,
01:05:50we have the devil.
01:05:54All the comforts of the household
01:05:57and now some living creature
01:06:01is to be sent to the moon.
01:06:05Well, well.
01:06:09And if we have patience,
01:06:12we shall get all the comforts of life in abundance.
01:06:20It's a mad bull!
01:06:22Women and children first!
01:06:24No, no, no!
01:06:26Get out of here!
01:06:52Narin! Narin!
01:06:54Come after me bird!
01:06:55I don't care who you're meeting. You'll need a platform ticket.
01:06:59Diabolical libertine!
01:07:09How do you get out?
01:07:12Oh!
01:07:20Help! Police!
01:07:36Bye-bye.
01:07:42Don't get dropped for the first time.
01:07:47Have a jolly good time.
01:07:52Bye-bye.
01:07:58Oh, Bertie.
01:08:00We could have had such a lovely time.
01:08:03Such a lovely time.
01:08:06It must be here somewhere.
01:08:08And we'd have had such a lovely time.
01:08:10I don't think you'll find any mention of it here.
01:08:13Nonsense. All transactions are recorded.
01:08:19I've got it.
01:08:21Miss Hawksworth.
01:08:25If it's Wolfie Green, we're for it.
01:08:27Oh!
01:08:32I'll open the door. You stand by to open fire.
01:08:39Oh, Bertie, my precious, we missed you.
01:08:42That you did not.
01:08:44I'm full of shot. It won't mark you much.
01:08:47Wormholes.
01:08:48Here. We found out who Cecil sold the four-poster bed to.
01:08:51Miss Hawksworth, 40 Rottingdean Road.
01:08:54Come along, then. Come along.
01:08:55Here. Where are we going?
01:08:57Just this warmonger to get the fake bed and we haven't got much time.
01:09:00Come on, hurry. Hurry.
01:09:05Come along, you two. Hurry up.
01:09:09Beep.
01:09:15Shh. Quiet.
01:09:17I am being quiet. It's me boots squeaking.
01:09:19Well, take them off.
01:09:31Come on, Dad.
01:09:35Shh. Shh.
01:09:37Shh. There's someone there.
01:09:41Oh, it's Bertie.
01:09:43Give me some hand. Come on.
01:09:46Come on. Come on.
01:09:49Don't forget to be quiet.
01:09:51Shut up.
01:09:54Have you got the tools, Dad?
01:09:58Right. Come on.
01:10:00Ow!
01:10:02Shh.
01:10:05Puss, puss.
01:10:08Puss, puss. Hercules.
01:10:10Where are you, you naughty puss?
01:10:17There it is.
01:10:19We'll have to hurry before the old boy comes up to bed.
01:10:22Here, Dad. You take this and I'll look out for Hercules.
01:10:26Right, love.
01:10:35Come on.
01:10:47You all right? Yes.
01:10:51You all right, dear?
01:10:57Come on, Dad.
01:11:05Here it is. Number 40.
01:11:07Come on. Come on.
01:11:09That's it. Here we are.
01:11:13Oh, I didn't know it was a girls' school.
01:11:16Here it is. Number 40.
01:11:18Come on. Come on.
01:11:20That's it. Here we are.
01:11:24Oh, I didn't know it was a girls' school.
01:11:37Me first. On you go, dear.
01:11:47Dad.
01:11:49What?
01:11:51Oh.
01:11:59Now, look. One of these should fit me.
01:12:01Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go up there.
01:12:05Oh.
01:12:15Where's the rest of them?
01:12:17I'll see you in... Kemptown.
01:12:19Kemptown? Give me a word.
01:12:21Do you mind?
01:12:28Bertie, is that the real bed?
01:12:30Aye, but where's Julie?
01:12:32Julie? I'm getting worried.
01:12:34She'll pop up in a minute.
01:12:41Julie ought to be knocking on Miss Hawkesworth's door by now.
01:12:45Maybe she's having a bit of difficulty.
01:12:49Where are you going?
01:12:51They're murdering her. I'm going after her.
01:12:58Julie.
01:13:02Oh.
01:13:08Bertie.
01:13:10Bertie.
01:13:12Bertie.
01:13:14Bertie.
01:13:16Bertie.
01:13:18Bertie.
01:13:20Right, the bar's ready.
01:13:22Get the scrubbing mat down.
01:13:26No, no. Leave me alone.
01:13:28No, please.
01:13:31Leave me alone.
01:13:33No, leave me alone.
01:13:35No, please.
01:13:42No, no, no, please.
01:13:44Kitty, hold on.
01:14:00Bertie.
01:14:24Oh, Bertie.
01:14:26Bertie.
01:14:28Come along, come along.
01:14:39Ah, there's something very peculiar going on.
01:14:42I'm sure it's none of my girls.
01:14:44Well, I'm not so sure.
01:14:46Hey!
01:14:48You girls there, where are you?
01:14:50I didn't see any girls.
01:14:52Well, they must have gone down here.
01:14:57Oh.
01:15:02Hey, where are you, you girls?
01:15:04Shh.
01:15:06Thanks, Dad.
01:15:16Good heavens, how extraordinary.
01:15:18I thought I could have sworn I saw two girls.
01:15:20I'm sure Miss Hawksworth, none of my girls would do a thing like that.
01:15:23Well, and I'm not so certain.
01:15:25I'm sure there's something strange and peculiar going on.
01:15:27I keep hearing terrible noises.
01:15:29Well, it certainly wasn't me, Miss Hawksworth.
01:15:31No, of course.
01:15:33Oh, look at that!
01:15:35Oh, look at that!
01:15:37Oh, look at that!
01:15:39Oh, look at that!
01:15:41Oh, look at that!
01:15:43Oh, look at that!
01:15:45Oh, look at that!
01:15:47Oh, look at that!
01:15:49Oh, look at that!
01:15:51Oh, look at that!
01:15:53It wasn't me, Miss Hawksworth.
01:15:55No, of course. Oh, look at that thing!
01:16:08Come on.
01:16:14Careful, it's that burning bell!
01:16:24Go on, get our clothes, love, and we'll change outside.
01:16:26Come on, Dad, come on.
01:16:30Well, perhaps you're right.
01:16:32I have been overdoing things a bit lately.
01:16:34Have a good night's sleep, and don't worry about our little girls.
01:16:37No, I won't. Well, good night.
01:16:39Good night, Miss Hawksworth.
01:16:50Where am I?
01:16:54You've got to kiss me!
01:16:56Bye-bye, Dad.
01:17:01Thanks for the car, Dad.
01:17:03It's a pleasure, son.
01:17:05Bye-bye, as soon as we get there.
01:17:07Bye-bye.
01:17:09Bye-bye.
01:17:16Oh, and a radio as well.
01:17:19You're not sorry about losing Polly now, dear, are you?
01:17:22Oh, I do hope he's all right.
01:17:24Oh, he's all right.
01:17:27Here are the news headlines.
01:17:29Britain has successfully launched an atomic rocket into outer space.
01:17:32It is expected to land on the moon by this time tomorrow.
01:17:35The rocket is manned by a living creature.
01:17:38And here is the first recorded message from outer space.
01:17:43I'll get you for this, Bertie, I'll get you for this!
01:17:46What is that?
01:17:48Oh, just the man in the moon.
01:17:52Ooh.
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