#ShortlandStreet#weeknights
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00:00Previously on Shortland Street
00:02Oh, take these guys
00:04We've had a truce since the start of the game
00:06If you lied about that tonight, what the hell else are you lying to me about?
00:10Nothing, okay?
00:11Last night was a blowout that got out of hand, let's just move on, okay?
00:14You'll always need to keep putting me down to feel better about yourself
00:17Because you know you'll never be able to do that one trick
00:20Jesus, never seen that before
00:22Cornelius?
00:23Cornelius
00:24I'll let surgery know you're coming
00:31Sorry, I got here as fast as I could
00:33I've got some problems at home
00:35Okay, let's focus
00:36Yeah, of course
00:37Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding
00:40That really is a whole sword
00:41Yeah
00:42What's the damage?
00:43Show the scans
00:44Esophageal laceration, right side pneumothorax, hepatic puncture
00:48He's lucky he didn't make his aorta
00:50Extremely
00:52ED have taken care of the pneumo
00:54We have to deal with the rest
00:55What sort of numbnuts shoves a sword down their throat?
00:58Cornelius' brother
01:01Elias?
01:02Maddy, my love, you must have sensed I needed you
01:06What's happening?
01:07Cornelius, he swallowed father's sword
01:10Damn my ego, damn his overactive gag reflex
01:13God almighty
01:15What if he can't save him?
01:17What have I done?
01:19Chris will save him
01:21It isn't your fault
01:23Is it?
01:24I couldn't help myself
01:26The sword swallow is his one weakness
01:28I mocked him ceaselessly until he felt like he had to put his life on the line
01:31But you didn't put the sword in his throat
01:35I may as well have done
01:39Well, what can I say?
01:40Derek, you've definitely swallowed worse things than this
01:42But at least not a great big sword down your esophagus
01:45Don't get any ideas
01:47I won't
01:48Promise?
01:49Feels like you've been here a lot lately
01:51I know it's a compulsion and I'm not blaming you
01:53But are you still seeing that therapist?
01:55Sometimes
01:56Sounds like me in the gym
01:58Can I go?
02:00Well, I'd love for you to hang around and see Psyche
02:02No, they always say the same thing
02:04Well, I don't want to see you back here in a week, OK?
02:07But I say that with love
02:10I didn't swallow this one
02:12It dropped and rolled and I followed it
02:14Stopped under a guy's chair
02:16He was unconscious
02:18So I got him help
02:20You would have seen him if it wasn't for this
02:23You can have it
02:24You're always so nice
02:26That's very sweet, Derek
02:28Need a hand here, please?
02:30I'm OK, I know the way out
02:31OK, take care
02:34What do you need?
02:36Nothing
02:37Just sick of your gas bagging to the frequent flyer
02:39Don't be such a cringe, Derek, it's just lonely
02:41Derek should get a hobby
02:43That isn't shoving crap down his throat
02:45I'd rather deal with Derek's regurgitations than little kids getting cancer
02:48Ah, is that why you came back to us?
02:51Peds hit you too hard
02:53Well, after all the blood and guts of ED, you know, nothing can shake me but peds as a whole
02:56Oh, well, I'm sorry, Clover, I don't care
03:00Abdo pain
03:02Line in bloods, please, and make it snappy
03:05Missed you, kid
03:10Hi
03:11Hi
03:12Are you OK?
03:13Do you actually care or is this just small talk?
03:15Film
03:16Really?
03:17What are you doing after your shift?
03:19Laundry
03:20Look at that, I'm all yours
03:21You bet you are
03:23Well, I'll see you after my surgery with Drew
03:25Yeah, can't wait
03:26You'll have to, but I'm worth it
03:31I think she likes me
03:33What's not to like?
03:36Did I miss a memo on uniform change?
03:39I know we're cost-cutting, but that seems not that far
03:42What?
03:43You know what, I don't even want to think about what splashed out of the sluice
03:46Oh, is it broken?
03:47It's about the dummy, my bedpan
03:49It needs a service
03:50OK, I'll put it on the list
03:53Now go and clean up and cover up
03:56Yeah, and you go to Ward 6
03:57Ward 4, I'm busy
03:59And popular, there's a patient who can't wait to chat to the new advocate
04:02You're kidding, another one?
04:04Word's getting around, it's great, eh?
04:06Yeah, it's great
04:11Great, great, great
04:13Wow, this is grim
04:15Bloody typical
04:17Warners suddenly allowed back in time to cosplay Excalibur
04:20We're stuck here doing this
04:22It's like a horror movie, insect larvae burrowing into flesh
04:26I know
04:27Luckily I like horrors
04:29God, so does Harper
04:31You're both monsters
04:32Are things going better between you two after...
04:35After I totally lost my rag over a board game and threw a tantrum like a toddler
04:40Yeah
04:41Peachy
04:42Any tips?
04:44Any tips?
04:45About relationships? God, no
04:47I mean, Vili's a great guy, you should snap him up
04:50I meant the forceps
04:52Oh, iris 8cm
04:55What he said
04:59Ta
05:00Vili is the best
05:02Abs are steel, sexy as hell
05:05That is an extremely strange thing to think about during a foreign body removal
05:10But I'll take note
05:11Just looking out for a mate
05:13Does Vili have any competition I should know about?
05:17Stay in your lane, Drew, with respect
05:20Just saying, you could do a lot worse
05:22Worse than this?
05:24Yeah
05:27What have we got?
05:28This is Jay, 41 years old, shortness of breath and chest pain
05:31Acute onset while eating dinner
05:33Pulse 140, BP 90 over 60
05:35And SATS 86 on 10 metres
05:37I'm thinking airway obstruction
05:39Cube 3
05:40Give me the hand
05:41All good
05:43Hi again
05:44Hey, Sage
05:46I've been meaning to ask, how's your chest?
05:48Bit of a scar, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
05:51Right, well, it's good to have you in here
05:53I thought you were in paeds?
05:55Ah, yeah, well, that was short-lived
05:57Oh, what happened?
05:58It's a long story
05:59OK, but cool, we missed you
06:02When you're done, ladies
06:04He loves me, really
06:07What do you need?
06:09SATS alone, pass me the cryo-firoid on me kit, please
06:13What do you need?
06:14Airway's blocked, it won't dislodge
06:16We're going to bypass the obstruction
06:18I just need you to try and stay calm, please
06:22Sorry, I've got to be kind
06:27Right, I'm going to have to make a small cut in your throat
06:30and insert a tube that will make breathing easier
06:32You're going to be all right
06:34Hold him still
06:35One more for good luck
06:39Better?
06:41Thank you
06:44Well done, Clover
06:47Good luck indeed
06:55BP is steady
06:57OK, now to repair the damage
06:59Tissue faucet, please
07:01Tissue faucet
07:02And suction
07:05There you go
07:06Nice detailing on that sword
07:08Collectors, please
07:11Why would you shove it down your throat, though?
07:13Indeed
07:14To bake your faucets
07:15Bake your faucets
07:16And for my next trick
07:18Doing quite your day job, Chris
07:22Endoscope for the esophageal repair
07:24Why is it taking so long?
07:26Trying to have faith
07:28He's in the safest hands
07:30Yeah, so am I
07:36Poor Joey must have been sad to see you go
07:38She's blossoming at boarding school
07:40and busy being a teenager
07:42I'm sure she still misses her mum every day
07:45Maybe a little
07:47But family is forever
07:50Cornelius never forgave me for abandoning our double act
07:54The bonds that tie have become a tad frayed
07:57How often do you see each other?
07:59Sporadically, at best
08:01Oh dear
08:03We're very different people
08:04Even so
08:06Blood is thicker than water
08:08Which is actually a misquote
08:10It's actually the blood of the...
08:12Blood? Blood?
08:13It's blood!
08:14The scope has dislodged a clot, he's hemorrhaging
08:16Activate the massive transfusion protocol
08:18Suction, I can't see a damn thing
08:20It's the maxic, right?
08:21I can't fix what I can't see
08:23That's too much blood
08:24It's not survivable
08:25Look
08:26What do we do? How do I help?
08:28We trust in the team and...
08:30And we pray
08:32Okay
08:34Okay
08:37Thaddeus, it's alright
08:38They've stopped the bleed
08:40Oh, thank you, thank you
08:42Thank you, universe
08:44They still need to repair his liver
08:46But they've stopped the bleed and secured his airway
08:50My gratitude to the cosmos
08:52I am forever in your debt
08:58This one's quite deep, I can't quite get to it
09:01How close to the tympanic membrane?
09:03Too close, I'll damage the hearing
09:05Let's see
09:07Yep, still disgusting
09:09You're right, it's in a tricky position
09:11Might want to try a curved tip
09:15Like this?
09:17Perfect choice, just like Billy
09:19Funny
09:23Hold it there
09:24Blood pressure?
09:25Yep, it's dropping
09:27Why? What did I do?
09:28You tell me
09:30There's no bleed, no necrotizing tissue
09:32Might not be you
09:34Then what? Anesthesia?
09:36Possibly
09:37It's too late for an allergic reaction
09:39Unusual, yes
09:41But a delayed allergic reaction is possible
09:45Draw up adrenaline and hydrocortisone
09:47Perfect again, adrenaline and hydrocortisone, go
09:49Lovely work, Phil
09:51Clear analysis, cool under pressure
09:53I try
09:55You deliver, consistently
09:58And the proof this time is in the blood pressure pudding
10:03Up, up
10:07And normal
10:08Well done team
10:09Well done you
10:11Thanks
10:15The EF, back on the chest
10:17Chris, got the sword out and saved the day
10:19So we're going to theatre 3 in about 10 minutes
10:21Don't think they're going to want this guy in theatre without a heartbeat
10:23Sinus rhythm
10:25Don't celebrate just yet
10:27Yeah look, sinus rhythm, I called it
10:29Well done
10:30Let's prep him for transfer upstairs
10:32When I left you guys, I thought for sure this poor guy was doomed
10:35Well we just got lucky
10:37Yeah you're right, you guys realise there's been zero deaths tonight?
10:39How lucky is that?
10:41Don't count your chickens just yet Clover, the night is still young
10:57Atamari eh?
10:58Oh, good morning
11:01Sorry
11:02Try not to talk too much
11:06I could sooner square a circle
11:09Well you are lucky to survive with your airway intact
11:12So just try to take it easy, okay?
11:14I'll try
11:15Are you feeling any pain at the moment?
11:17Oh aside from the pain of not talking, I'm okay
11:22Well let us know if that changes
11:24Meanwhile you are still niddle by mouth
11:26Until the surgeon gives us the all clear
11:28So I didn't bring you any breakfast I'm afraid
11:30Oh, I forgive you
11:34Madonna, that's a wonderful name
11:37Thank you
11:38Sorry I should have introduced myself
11:40I'm that Madonna
11:41The singer or the saint?
11:43Stop it, has daddy seen you this morning?
11:46Oh, you know my brother?
11:48Of course
11:50Oh right, it's a pretty small hospital
11:54Yes it was a path less magical for young Thaddeus
11:58You do realise he's my boyfriend?
12:01In his fantastical dreams
12:03We live together
12:05No way
12:08Is this meant to be funny?
12:10Or has Thaddeus never actually mentioned me?
12:13Well we don't talk as much as I would like
12:16I see
12:17But he should be shouting it from the rooftops
12:23Oh
12:29It's a chip
12:30It's a long story
12:32I was looking for you last night
12:34You were?
12:35Yeah, to give you a pat on the back
12:37For your pat on the back
12:39Excuse me?
12:40You got that chunk of steak out of Jay-Z way
12:43Oh that's right, that guy
12:45Also, who is eating steak in this economy?
12:47You saved a life Stage, that's pretty awesome
12:50Well the whole hospital did great
12:51No deaths at all apparently
12:52None in ED, none in surgery
12:54All because of our new good luck charm
12:56Cute
12:58I know it's delusional but
12:59The world is full of mystery and wonder
13:01And something went right last night so I'm not going to question it
13:04Sorry, I'm babbling
13:06No, I might need to borrow this
13:09How's Liam?
13:11Oh, he's well, woke up
13:14Oh, I'm sorry to hear that
13:16But hey, new beginnings, fresh starts, all that
13:19Hey look, I'll see you around
13:22I hope, for sure
13:24And good luck
13:26You too
13:32Just wanting to let you know that Cornelius is awake and alert
13:35Yeah, even cockroaches survived the apocalypse
13:38I'm joking
13:40Well have you been to scene yet?
13:42The pharmacy's in a bit of a flap this morning, I'll pop in later
13:45Well you have time now
13:47Is that hypoglycemic?
13:49Care to share a muffin in the cafe?
13:51Care to tell me why your brother doesn't know who I am?
13:54Well?
13:56It was embarrassing, Thad
13:58Am I some dirty little secret?
14:00No, of course not, Maddy, you must know that
14:02Then why have you kept our relationship from your family?
14:08Thaddeus, Cornelius seems to be on track for a full recovery
14:11Great, and the sword?
14:13I assume it'll need a good oiling and cleaning after all it's been through
14:16I was more focused on Cornelius
14:18If it hasn't been returned to him it might have ended up in medical waste
14:22Father's sword, tossed away like mere garbage
14:25No!
14:27What about your muffin?
14:29You could give it to his brother, I've cleared him to eat
14:32Hopefully he'll stick to food and not hardware
14:41Oi, you two, celebration drinks tonight at Molly's?
14:44What's the occasion?
14:45As if we need one
14:46But since you're asking, we're celebrating my return to ED
14:49Big whoop! No offence
14:51Even bigger whoop, the hospital's gone 24 hours without a single death
14:55Amazing
14:56So you've been to the casino?
14:58It's my lucky charm
14:59Give off
15:01Oh, not the bloody poker chip again
15:03Oh, it's so sharper
15:05Well, come on, we need all the help we can get, right?
15:07Or do you not believe in luck?
15:08Some make it and some don't
15:10No stupid good luck charm ever saved anybody
15:14Drew, what is his problem?
15:17Are you all right?
15:18Can you stop asking me that? You and I both know that you don't actually care
15:21We know that's not true
15:22Just go check on Drew, he's the one that needs you, remember? Not me
15:34A toast
15:35Yeah
15:36Another? We just drank to your lucky charm
15:38This one's to Billy, Amy and Phil
15:40For what?
15:41For being Shortland Street's hottest new couple
15:42Oh, I'll drink to that
15:44To Philly, Amy
15:46But hold on to your clout while you can because you're going to have some competition in the cute couple category
15:50Oh, really?
15:52Don't look at me
15:53I wasn't
15:54I noticed
15:55Let's just say this isn't the only lucky chip in my life
15:58Seriously?
15:59Oh, you're a homewrecker now
16:01Not when there's no home to wreck
16:03He and Liam split
16:04Well, well, well
16:09Mate!
16:10Didn't think you were coming
16:11Well, Harper managed to get an 11th hour babysitter, so couldn't let that go to waste, right?
16:16How's everyone's drinks?
16:17Oh, I'd love one
16:18I'm good
16:19I'm busting, so I'd love another one, thank you very much
16:20Here's all round, I'll get them
16:22I'll give you a hand
16:24Hey, I'm sorry for giving you grief today about that poker chip
16:28That's okay
16:29What's this?
16:30Oh, it's nothing
16:31I don't believe in good luck charms and woo-woo-woo
16:34I've got enough of that crap from my mother
16:36But I believe in you, Phil
16:38You're a terrific surgeon, and I'm sorry I had to go
16:41It really is okay
16:42Just don't tell your boyfriend what a moody prick I've been
16:45I don't want to lose my mate
16:46No chance
16:48And we're mates, yeah?
16:49Of course
16:51But I'm also your boss, and your mentor
16:54And I'm going to do everything I can to help your career
16:57Because you've got what it takes to go all the way to the top, Phil
17:00And you'll get there on merit, not good luck
17:03I'll drink to that
17:05To Phil
17:06To Phil
17:07To Phil
17:12So while Dr Warner was able to save your life
17:15Father's sword has met a grisly end
17:18Well, make sure you tell him that
17:19And how you goaded me into the whole thing, too
17:22You put that sword down your own throat
17:24Your situation could have been much, much worse
17:27Well, I could say the same for you
17:29Hello again
17:30Talk about landing on your feet
17:32I brought you a light meal, but go slowly
17:35You're too kind
17:36No wonder Thaddeus has been keeping you all to himself
17:39Yes, well...
17:41Madonna, this is my brother, Cornelius
17:45Not too late
17:46It's never too late to do the right thing
17:48Well, it's nice to properly meet you, Cornelius, at last
17:52The pleasure is all mine
17:54And this is Madonna
17:56Colleague, cohabitant, and the lovely lady in my life
18:00Really?
18:01This misfit?
18:02Really
18:03Even though he's kept me hidden like a shameful secret
18:05Oh, no, please don't think that
18:06Think you might have made a misstep there, Thad?
18:09It's fine, I'm fine
18:10Thaddeus and I are very happy
18:12If only you had been here yesterday
18:14You could have stopped Thaddeus from pushing me into a precarious situation
18:18I didn't make you do anything
18:20We'll leave you to eat your food
18:21You know, you don't seem very sad about Father's sword
18:24Which is scrap metal now
18:25Thanks to that miserable malfeasance you call magic
18:28I'm a damn good magician, and you know it
18:31And despite the regrettable way yesterday's situation came about
18:34I've already started thinking about how I can incorporate it into my act
18:38See, that's the thing, Madonna
18:40When stagecraft is a key part of your vocation
18:43You see an opportunity in anything
18:45I see
18:46I mean, what an opening for a show, right?
18:48A magician staggers on stage
18:51Sword stuck in his throat
18:53Maybe there's blood, maybe there's not
18:55The audience gasps
18:57How can I help? Is this part of it?
19:00And it's tension
19:02That hum of terrific excitement that I draw on
19:06Tease out and ride for the rest of the show
19:09They'd be on the edge of their seats
19:11The audience would be terrified
19:13Terrified and thrilled once they know it's part of it
19:16You get it, Madonna, you get it
19:19You're a lucky man, Thad
19:25More beers, we need some chips
19:26Name's Sage
19:27It's my party, I want to shout rounds if I want to
19:29I think I've had enough
19:31This is not going to be a regular thing, BTW
19:33You should make the most of it while it lasts
19:34Now you're talking in letters instead of words
19:36I think that's my cue to leave, I'll see you guys
19:38See you, mate
19:39Well, this one's for you, then
19:41Oh, my poor half-liver, my coat
19:43Hey, what's this?
19:44He gave a chunk of it away to a friend
19:46But I don't worry, it's plenty of time to regenerate
19:48What, for like a transplant?
19:50Yeah, saved his buddy Damo's life
19:52But, Drew, that's so giving
19:54And selfless and so nice of you
19:57Wow, good on you
19:59I saved him, not some poker chip or rabbit's foot or four-leaf clover
20:04Well, I'm choosing to believe
20:06You do you
20:07You do you, cheers, cheers
20:10God watch out, double trouble
20:12I'm in control, thank you, wife
20:14Tell that to your dad, though
20:16What's this?
20:17My husband's mark of shame, kicked off with a few too many of those
20:20Go on, let's see
20:21Yeah, show us, I didn't know you had ink
20:23That's because it's on my arse
20:25Oh, yuck, in that case, nice
20:27What is it? I love tattoos
20:29Well, I wanted Harper
20:32Aw, that's cute
20:33Yeah, but he ended up with Kate
20:36No regerts, eh?
20:38Wait, how did that happen?
20:40Okay, now I have to see
20:42No, no, you do not want to see it, it is horrible, it's not nice and cute like yours
20:46You too, dark horse
20:49You've seen Phil's tattoo
20:51You girls are closer than I thought
20:53Why, where's yours?
20:55It's private
20:57Ooh, okay
20:59What can I say, I like to strut my stuff in the women's locker room
21:11Good luck, bye
21:13Another satisfied patient?
21:15Yeah, I reckon, she wanted an early discharge
21:18I didn't see any reason to keep her here, so I chatted with her surgeon and now everyone's happy
21:22Now the hospital will be free for somebody who really needs it
21:24Exactly, win-win
21:26It's really starting to take off
21:27And there are tons more like her who need help speaking up
21:30So you're managing to juggle it all?
21:32Well, I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but yeah, I am
21:35You are amazing
21:36What, um, can you say that again, I can't quite hear it
21:39You're amazing
21:41Yeah, I know
21:43To be honest, under the facade, the glamorous facade, I'm actually quite shattered
21:48I'm sure, well I am really grateful and I'm happy to say that we've been able to bump up your hourly rate
21:53It's not quite what I would like, but it is something
21:56Awesome, thanks
21:58And, um, down the line, there might be some room for some more advocates on board?
22:04I'm afraid we don't have the budget for that, but seeing how amazingly you're doing, I think with you we will be just fine
22:14Christ, Papa, not cool
22:18Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking
22:20And now in some locker room flasher, there's going to be an HR memoir about me
22:27You're an exhibitionist
22:29Anything for attention
22:31But seriously
22:32Yeah, I know, thank you, you dodged a bullet
22:35I've been giving you so much grief about something that's both of our fault
22:39I'm sorry
22:40You've been hurting
22:41Some of you, you keep reaching out and I keep batting you away
22:45I hate it
22:46Yeah, I can see that
22:48Now you're trying to look out for me and make things right
22:52I want us to at least be friends
22:54And I keep pushing you away and playing stupid games
22:57Well, like I said, you've been hurting and it's on me
23:01But it's just us now
23:03And I can be real with you
23:05Please don't
23:06Papa
23:07No
23:09I can't
23:11I can't