My Divorce Party. movie 2024
Divorcee Xan gathers her close friends to celebrate her impending split, only to reveal she intends to burn her divorce settlement money to start fresh. Chaos ensues as each friend has a wildly different opinion on what Xan should do.
Transcript
00:00:00You
00:00:30You
00:01:00Oh
00:01:30I
00:02:00I
00:02:30Oh
00:02:44Quaint did you miss me? Well distance makes me fonder of you
00:03:00Oh
00:03:09And here comes the big finish here we go Oh drop it real low
00:03:16Wendy I love your romper. What you like that?
00:03:21You like it
00:03:23Thanks, Jerome. Keep it creepy. Do I want to know that's better. If you don't I missed you my prickly pear
00:03:29Alright real quick before Zan gets here show off that rock. I need sunglasses just to see it ice for days
00:03:34I haven't told Zan I got engaged yet. So do I take it off?
00:03:38Just stick to the plan one more weekend of not knowing won't hurt her especially since Tony is Diego's best man
00:03:42Oh, that's gonna cut her up real bad standing up in the same wedding as her ex-husband
00:03:47Especially after you met Diego at her wedding not helping. What isn't helping is Zan's passive attitude
00:03:51I'm sure even if you told her she wouldn't react you just roll over like she always does be nice
00:03:55None of us know what it's like to get divorced yet
00:03:59Come on I was just playing the odds. I can't do it at her divorce party. I don't want to rub it in
00:04:04This is a no drama weekend two and a half carats, you know, you're dying
00:04:08I'm making Stephanie upgrade me for our next anniversary. Does she know that keep leaving my iPad open on ring websites?
00:04:13I'm not subtle. Is this real wall?
00:04:17guys
00:04:23This way again, oh
00:04:25God
00:04:27Ladies I have arrived
00:04:31I'm here
00:04:38All right, we're all here so that's good I have something for everyone
00:04:44One of these this right I made plans we love it
00:04:50Let's go
00:04:52Okay
00:04:54You know this weekend is gonna be all about fun and it's all gonna be about you Zan
00:04:58I got so excited. I jazzed up the itinerary. Is this calligraphy?
00:05:01All I want to do is relax have fun and try to feel normal again. Is there time on my itinerary for that Saturday afternoon?
00:05:08There's some free time you can feel normal then. Thank you both for planning this
00:05:14I know who's up to Ren and Wendy winners. Whoa. Whoa, whoa awful planning or you know, just professional responsibility avoider
00:05:23Disorganized. Okay. Now that the cavalry is here. I suggest we find our deluxe glamping RV 201. I
00:05:33Found it
00:05:36How is that a relaxing tranquil oasis that sleeps up to six ladies ladies don't be such divas come on
00:05:43Advertising people always embellish things. They say it makes your skin smoother or it's ribbed for her pleasure
00:05:49That looks like a place where I can get murdered. I cannot sleep here
00:05:51Oh, you are a woman in America. You are much more likely to get murdered at home than on vacation
00:05:55Yikes time to start drinking
00:06:00What rent can't drink so we can't drink guys guys, it's fine
00:06:03Okay, whoever wants to drink can drink plus I brought my own refreshments. That's a relief. Oh good. Thank God
00:06:12And me I'm also not gonna drink cuz you're not drinking Isabella, it's fine
00:06:20Okay, cuz I did bring a small bottle just a small bottle of wine just in case
00:06:25There's a little tiny thing classy broad Sam needs this. Look at her
00:06:30Seriously, her life has fallen to pieces. She's a far cry from the strong independent and inspirational woman. She once was thank you Sam
00:06:37Last week I cried over yogurt flavors cinnamon lime fucked me up. Why would they do that? Who is eating that masochist?
00:06:45Yeah
00:06:47Who's Samantha gonna yell at about that camp?
00:06:49Why am I always the one who has to do the yellow because they're a hot lawyer that loves trip people up on their words
00:06:54She's the worst. I'll go when I get back we get straight. Yes. We have a schedule to keep people, you know, I
00:07:02Did have a question about that. What exactly is a resurrection ceremony? Oh, that's from my therapist
00:07:08She wants me to help Zan let go of her negative thoughts and chant a positivity mantra and then release a feather free into the wind
00:07:15I've done that. That sounds oh, let's make a big fire tonight to cleanse myself of Tony and the black cloud. That's plagued my life
00:07:22I didn't plan for a fire. So I don't have any fire retard
00:07:24Laurel after this weekend. I hope I'm like my old self again. No more rope me sad Zan
00:07:30This is a new chapter. It's time to get back to normal with the people that know me best
00:07:37Integritron sound bath. I don't remember agreeing to that. Sorry
00:07:40Did you not see the explosion of emails in your inbox from these two?
00:07:43There was a the morning reminders and let's not forget the afternoon recap
00:07:48Remember seeing any emails about this trip Wendy? I really only know when you're joking about half of the time
00:07:52So seriously, if you haven't read the emails that Isabella and I wrote about all of the fun things we have planned for this weekend
00:07:58I will kill you and leave your dead body to rot in the desert. I have definitely read the emails
00:08:05Oh
00:08:07That is mine. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa dateline suspect. What do you got in there? It's a travel bag of dildos
00:08:12It's gonna say is a bag of dildos. Maybe it's Tony's head on a spike. Are we allowed to say his name?
00:08:17Yes, I'm fine. I'm more than happy to veto his name from the vocabulary for this trip. No, it's okay
00:08:23I've had ten months to analyze every possible scenario in my head to save our marriage
00:08:28What is wrong with me?
00:08:31He's an asshole fuck that guy I do have one question though, have you considered seeing a therapist that's I don't know
00:08:37Not the one you look at in the mirror. They are not gonna tell me anything
00:08:41I don't already tell my patients in therapy
00:08:44I know you're concerned about me because of your own issues and your commitment issues commitment issues
00:08:50Shouldn't get married or get off the toilet already shit when I'm ready to shit
00:08:56Yeah
00:08:58Honestly, I am fine. Trust me. I'll be the first person to admit it if I
00:09:11Right, I'm going you all severely underpay me for my services
00:09:16Thank you. Thanks a lot. We love you. We appreciate you. Love you
00:09:28Oh
00:09:37What is a little lady like you doing in a desert like this
00:09:42Hi, sir
00:09:44We are staying in camper 201 for the weekend 201. Why damn?
00:09:49That's real close to me and my lady
00:09:53Great. Oh
00:09:56Greetings desert sister. I look forward to sleeping side-by-side as the stars tuck us in for the night
00:10:04Hi
00:10:06So the camper wasn't exactly what was promised. It's better. No, it's actually much worse and I want an upgrade. It's sleep
00:10:12See, it's disgusting campers a time and shabby shabby can be chic. I will trash you on the interweb
00:10:20I'll credit your account back tomorrow. Great. I'm so glad we had this little chat
00:10:29Damn you man won this round, but I'll be seeing you tonight
00:10:34201 right we can exchange our energies be well, it's sister
00:10:40Shit, Amara. I just gave away another weekend stay
00:10:45Never gonna get my glutes at this point
00:10:47I
00:10:55Would like to make a toast I love all you girls and I love camping with Ren because she does most of the heavy lifting
00:11:02Yeah, I brought these to kick off the weekend
00:11:09Sons Ren well, it's fine because someone brought me this sauce cinnamon lime with the shit
00:11:15No one in their 30s to drink UV, I don't have the bread base for UV
00:11:22Cheers
00:11:29Still grow. Oh, it tastes so bad. Now. They know how good alcohol tastes. Oh
00:11:33You cheers to us and Sam's divorce. Listen up ladies. It is story time. I love story time me, too
00:11:40I've known Isabella
00:11:42three decades best 30 years of your life facts and the rest of you ding-dong since our
00:11:49centennial dorm days and college
00:11:53Learn from my mistakes, but they don't tell you about getting divorced. Is that it?
00:12:00monetizes your love
00:12:02Thank you, Sam for doing what you could from Chicago as my lawyer. I got you girl Toadie and I
00:12:09Were together for ten years
00:12:12Married for almost two in that time. I saved
00:12:19well over
00:12:22$100,000
00:12:24You can't even iron how do you have a hundred thousand dollars my shirts don't fold right? I make that in five months
00:12:30Should I be saving more? Yes, and here I thought breeding corgis for two grand a pop was a racket
00:12:35It is a racket because they are not real dogs. They're just elongated hamsters
00:12:39You're just jealous because I sold a Corgi to Bob Downey. I'm sorry Robert Downey jr
00:12:45Let's know his friends Colin. Okay guys. Yeah, let's focus on Sam. Thank you
00:12:50Tony after sleeping with his CrossFit instructor that fit bitch Jenny
00:12:57Tony decides that although I have supported him for a decade as he tried to be
00:13:05visual
00:13:07installation
00:13:08Artist not a job. No. No, it's not that he deserves
00:13:12half of my savings for emotional distress
00:13:18By Sunday at midnight half of everything I own will be audited and eventually will be his
00:13:26so
00:13:28Oh
00:13:31Bernie made all that here
00:13:33It's okay. Uh, let's talk about what you're feeling that caused you to bring a bag of cash across the country on a plane
00:13:39He's taken so much from me. I don't want to give him anything else
00:13:44I just want to get back to normal, even if it means starting from nothing
00:13:49so
00:13:58I
00:14:01May be drinking green alcohol and pretending it's a white
00:14:05This is my choice, I'd rather burn it all
00:14:13Everything will be okay. If I just burn no, no as your friend and your professional lawyer
00:14:19I would like to say that you know, what gives a shit that you're a lawyer Sam or that you went to Yale
00:14:23Yeah, well, oh Jesus Wendy, please get up your ass. Just help me with the fire. Okay, I knew I've been over sir
00:14:28You served yourself. Yes, I did
00:14:37You packed multiple hairs, it's fine
00:14:41Okay. Now
00:14:43We are going to talk out Zan's ridiculous plan to burn a hundred grand probably 90 now
00:14:50We are all going to talk this out like the lifelong friends that we are or or what you'll shoot
00:14:56then
00:14:58Okay, I'm not gonna do that. That's fine. I'm not gonna do that, but we will all sit down sit down
00:15:03Sit down. Okay
00:15:05Who wants to go first?
00:15:07Well, I think that you should just give it to charity and by charity
00:15:10I mean me or you could be practical and put it into a long-term mutual fund
00:15:15Set your few make it rain strippers and blow I have a J tree guy who could be here in an hour
00:15:19Okay as your best friend
00:15:21I want to validate your thought process for wanting to destroy what confines each your old life
00:15:26But as an objective third party, this isn't healthy. He's taken everything for me
00:15:32We had a plan
00:15:34We were gonna have kids a town home in Connecticut. I I just want to get back to normal
00:15:41I just want my old life back. I know but honey that life sounds so sad and seriously lacking diverse
00:15:47We want to support you in any healthy way
00:15:51We can and in here I will look after the money while we figure it out
00:15:54Well, if you're gonna give the money to Wendy, you might as well just burn it. Look, I will help
00:16:02Stop all of you stop. I didn't want to do this alone. You're not alone, honey. We love you
00:16:09We all want what's best for you
00:16:11in very different ways
00:16:14That's it
00:16:15That's it. I want each of you to pick something to do with the money. We got to spend it all fast
00:16:22No, that makes absolutely no sense. Wouldn't you rather have half of something as opposed to all of nothing?
00:16:29Sammy please
00:16:31Fine yes. Okay. There is a wine. I have been dying to try. Okay, it is only
00:16:38$22,000 it is lined with gold flakes and it was found at the bottom of a pirate ship
00:16:42There's only 18 in the world and there are like four of them right here in Palm Springs. It is our destiny
00:16:48It's like listening to Fergie sing the National Anthem. Oh, thank you
00:16:52Let's put a pin in that old pirate wine for now
00:16:55But but I like clear-headed and I like a little bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit
00:17:00But I like where your head is at Wendy. I
00:17:02Want to share this with my favorite people. Are you sure? Oh
00:17:08I'm sure
00:17:12It smells like the desert is burning and you interrupted our tantric jam sesh
00:17:18You guys seen them too, or did I just inhale too much smoke greetings fellow inhabitants of the desert
00:17:24I am Amara and this is Ezekiel. Yeah your neighbors
00:17:30These are the two fine specimens who rented us the camper
00:17:36Fireworks, no, no, we know the park regulations and we were not okay be warned
00:17:45We're watching you great beat it Ezekiel. May the night spirit. Oh
00:17:52Just for Bush your son blessed be your fruit
00:18:00Jesus
00:18:02Crystal
00:18:05He's arrowhead, what is that is
00:18:10Because I am a drag queen and I only get paid in cash tip so
00:18:17Flawless. Thank you so much. That's so sweet. She loves tips. Oh hiding something
00:18:23Now we're doubly watching you and we're
00:18:27Watching you beat it
00:18:30a
00:18:37Drag queen I panicked who else makes this kind of cash
00:18:40Oh, I don't know servers strippers bartenders teachers you tip teachers. Well, someone's got to do it. They're shaping the future of America
00:18:48Yeah, I'm gonna hide this somewhere safe. Where are you going?
00:18:54Wait, wait, wait Sam Sam Sam Sam about the hundred grand we can spend it on anything
00:18:58Anything except for any big purchases in my name, so boats cars houses or else Tony's entitled to half
00:19:06We've got 48 hours to blow this people. It's gonna be really hard to do in Joshua tree. Well, I have my ways
00:19:12Okay, we're just gonna have to cancel everything on the itinerary the sound bath and our schedule. That's a good point. Thank you
00:19:18No, not about the schedule
00:19:20Here's
00:19:21$5,000 you and Sam go stock up on food and booze and whatever do not come back until you've spent every cent
00:19:30I'd like a hot pocket. Look. I have not seen a single designer store since I have been here
00:19:35You have chosen the worst location for your insanity
00:19:37I'm sure you will find something
00:19:41Bye-bye Oh
00:19:46Dippin dots
00:19:51What are we gonna do I want to clear him out of boxed wine it keeps really well
00:19:56There it is. And I'm just gonna take that
00:20:00And these babies. No, I mean about Zan. She's obviously having a psychotic break is she I mean
00:20:07Who are we to judge how she spends her money?
00:20:10Her friends she's always been such a pushover. It's like she would rather bail than fight for herself
00:20:16That is so true, you remember that time I ruined her sweater junior year with that big mustard blob and she kept being like
00:20:21Oh, it's cool. It's cool. Even though she was totally sad about it
00:20:25Yeah, this is exactly like your mustard blob story
00:20:28Look between you and me
00:20:30I could have taken Tony to the cleaners and bankrupt him like that
00:20:32But she was all like no just take whatever his lawyers offered. That's so sad. Yeah
00:20:38She needs to be thinking about her future
00:20:40She could use the money for a down payment on a house or to start over or to do something
00:20:44She's not doing what you would do with the money doesn't mean she's wrong. Um, yes it does
00:20:51There's no way we're gonna be able to spend $5,000 in this place this isn't even 500 not with that attitude
00:21:01Hello kind eyes, what's the most expensive thing you sell here?
00:21:07This fella right here is named
00:21:11Nedward and I carved him myself with a chainsaw
00:21:16He goes for six hundred dollars
00:21:19cute
00:21:20We'll take him. Oh my god
00:21:24BAM did you spend all of the money begrudgingly Zan? I need to talk to you
00:21:29I would very much like to pass on that. Not an option. I don't want to. Oh wait, wait, wait. You want to bullet time? Yes. No, not now.
00:21:36Okay. Okay. There you go. Oh, are we putting this on?
00:21:40Okay, and that's not all. Wren, we did something extra special for you. What? Hot pockets?
00:21:49I think that you're very confused Wendy because I hate this. No, no, no. This is
00:21:54Nedward. Okay, and Nedward is sober too. I don't like Nedward.
00:22:01Nedward is homeless. I know you'll give him a good home
00:22:07Wendy you smell like a distillery. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm gonna let you guys get to know each other
00:22:13Help. Oh is it? Okay. That looks good
00:22:20Help
00:22:23Sam. Zan.
00:22:26I meant to tell you your energy is effervescent
00:22:30yet more relaxed. Oh
00:22:33my god, did Ricardo arrive?
00:22:37Don't distract me with questions about Steph Strapon in that weird therapist-y friend way
00:22:42You okay?
00:22:44Really? Yes, I promise you I know what I'm doing. I am so
00:22:52Solid. Okay, I don't want him to drag you down. I also don't want any hymns real or created to drag you down
00:23:01Is Steph happier now?
00:23:04She felt having some balls would really give her some phantom dick power
00:23:09Sadly, they sent us a version with pubes. Wow
00:23:13So lifelike. Too lifelike.
00:23:16Hmm
00:23:18Steph imagines herself to have a clean-shaven scrotum. So now
00:23:23We wait again
00:23:25Seriously, you okay? Really?
00:23:29Yes, I just want to enjoy this weekend. It's my divorce party. So let's party
00:23:36Okay, I don't want to smother you.
00:23:39I trust you
00:23:41Great
00:23:43I'm gonna grab a
00:23:45Bono
00:24:15Oh
00:24:32Jesus Christ, where did you even get an air horn? I always have my party horn. Let's go girls
00:24:39We have a 9 a.m. Appointment. We got a boogie. Uh, wait
00:24:43I have a little something for everyone. Oh my god, you shouldn't have
00:24:50No, actually you you really actually shouldn't have are you trying to say that you want to get double penetrated because I think that that's
00:24:56A little advanced for this group. No. No, it's my DP my divorce party
00:25:02Get it, you know, I can't not see double penetration. It's double penetration. I'll tell you later
00:25:09Well, I think it's cute
00:25:12Yeah
00:25:13Okay, look
00:25:15Huh?
00:25:16You know what? I think it looks great on you and and only you if possible. You all know how I feel about moomoos
00:25:41I
00:26:12Oh
00:26:22Where are we?
00:26:24Wendy this is the most ignorant illogical and insane thing to do with a bunch of money
00:26:31Raise your hand if you think we should get a comically large boat full of cocktail weenies. No, no. Yeah
00:26:37I've never met some cocktail weenies. They make me feel like a giant sold saying come on. We're going to the bar. Whoa
00:26:44When are you gonna tell her about the wedding soon do it when she's buzzed ease the tension?
00:26:49Oh, yeah, that's a great idea because we all know what they say about the calming and rationalizing effects of alcohol of mine
00:26:53She's not you stop. Stop. I have a plan. I'm gonna tell her tomorrow after my resurrection ceremony
00:26:59I want her to be clear-headed for it. Oh, yeah, let's clear her mind and then crush her heart. No, there should be no crush
00:27:08Oh
00:27:09my god
00:27:10Eat up sharks
00:27:11We're not leaving till we've done five shots each and a seltzer with the splash of cran and lime for rent. I got you
00:27:18Jesus, it's 10 a.m. There's a breakfast buffet. There's French toast. Go build yourself a bread base. Let me please. Yay
00:27:24I am so excited
00:27:27All right, we're gonna carve a this DM ladies, then you're getting at least four lap dances tonight
00:27:32Maybe you'll go home with a stripper is you're on drinks duty. I never want to see her and dandit
00:27:37Ren make sure we never tip the scales on the Pukesville and Sammy. What's up?
00:27:42Try to level it all shady
00:27:45Let's do this. Cheers
00:27:48DJ bangers and mash play some EDM. I want to dance
00:28:07Oh
00:28:26You know, I gotta say as far as strip club buffets go this one is top-notch have you tried these ribs
00:28:33finger foods hard pass
00:28:37Oh
00:28:41Now then now then now then all right you bears and seals save some room it's FNG time
00:28:54What is happening what is happening we've got a feeders and gainers special
00:28:59It's King Friday. Oh, yeah, of course
00:29:03Friday
00:29:05Ladles and jelly spoons, please. Welcome to the floor little chorizo
00:29:17You want to feed me? Oh, yes. Yes, I do
00:29:21You want a little dog you want to
00:29:30So this is like a baby bird mama bird thing
00:29:34Oh, no, I think that feeders get off on feeding people and gainers get off on
00:29:40being
00:29:42like this
00:29:43Come on, girl. Let's go. Hey guys. Okay, let's just be very cautious because I have a severe shellfish allergy
00:29:50So, please do not get any shrimp on me. Um, but if you do I have a EpiPen in my bag
00:29:55But please do not make me use it. Okay, please I won't
00:29:59Okay
00:30:03Do you want a cheese stick? Okay. Oh you can't get it. Oh
00:30:15It's a slimy
00:30:21I
00:30:24Think I'm a feeder you want to feed me? I'll be fed. I'm first. I I don't know the answer to that question
00:30:36No, no, no, I need to stop before I can do this Sam get over here
00:30:50The scales are tipping we are about 30 minutes away from pukes but we need to wrap it up. Okay, okay
00:30:57Okay, well just one more thing one more thing
00:31:02Hey, what what is what is she doing? No, it's scheming something
00:31:07Wedgie might have life right? I feel great. Oh
00:31:12Whoa there. Okay. Why don't you tell me how you feel tomorrow morning? Oh
00:31:16my sweet little
00:31:19Brutally honest apple of my eye
00:31:23Cold blood tiny teeny little red. Yes. Hello. It's me
00:31:30You know, it'd be really fun. Let's tag Tony in a picture with me and one of the eaters and we're gonna caption it
00:31:36So go do oh, wow, that sounds like a bag of regrets. Look
00:31:42It's a joke. It's fun
00:31:45It's gonna see how much fun that I'm having without him right now and that is gonna make him
00:31:51jealous
00:31:52Yes, Annie. Can you just give me your phone? Yes, make sure I'm in good lighting
00:31:58Okay, you're gonna get this back at the end of the day
00:32:02Ren Ren, give me my phone. You're gonna thank me tomorrow. I promise don't think that I won't go in there and get it
00:32:08Try me
00:32:10Oh
00:32:18Totally unrelated. Oh, I just realized I have to update my LinkedIn right now for business purposes
00:32:25You have a little LinkedIn problem. Do you need to update your myspace to your top nine get out of here with that trash?
00:32:34Damn it
00:32:37Oh should I have one more banana definitely, are you ready or what?
00:32:49And I don't even like this
00:32:52Oh
00:33:05So, uh, which one of you ladies is Alexandra
00:33:11Come with me
00:33:15Did you pay that guy to fuck Sam what no, maybe I don't know
00:33:22Sit
00:33:26Okay, how do you want me how do are you a bad girl
00:33:32You want me to punish you?
00:33:34No
00:33:36Do you want to punish me? Not really? Oh
00:33:41So many things so many things don't you ever get full
00:33:45What would everyone's kink be if you had one, oh, we all know Wendy is down for anything
00:33:50Okay, there is nothing wrong with being open to new sexual experiences. Yeah
00:33:55Sammy what would yours be? Oh, I've always wanted to have sex on a boat. We're in my childhood bed
00:34:01That's so boring. I bet you and Stephanie just do it missionary under the covers with the lights off
00:34:08Once a month, I don't understand you could possibly know so little about lesbian sex
00:34:13Having my college roommate
00:34:15I know things. I know you do a little bit of this action. That's not it and a lot of that
00:34:21I've done that never that little bit up. No, who's taking a wiggly. It's not that did Ricardo 2.0 arrive
00:34:28First of all, Stephanie can get it second of all, we ran into a slight issue of the manufacturer
00:34:34We're really waiting on his replacement. Oh, did it have pubes? I heard that was an issue with the more innovative company
00:34:40They were so curly. What do we think Xana's doing? Should somebody go check on her? No, don't worry
00:34:45I have a feeling she is in the midst of wild
00:34:49ecstasy
00:34:54Yeah, this will help make you more relaxed, oh, yeah Cheers Cheers Ajax
00:35:10Oh
00:35:12Wendy yeah, Wendy I have to tell you something and I can only tell it to you
00:35:20This is pretty great
00:35:22You know the secrets are having fun. No the company and dicks in your face
00:35:40Oh
00:36:10Oh
00:36:15You pony jacks, why is your voice like that? I'm fine a
00:36:20lady
00:36:22Never tells right, but you're not a lady. So still for information
00:36:27We did not fuck
00:36:29But you did other stuff
00:36:33Mm-hmm
00:36:39How do you know I
00:36:41Guess I I don't
00:36:44He was the love of my life Ajax
00:36:47How could he do that to me?
00:36:49Well in my opinion him cheating was probably more about his own insecurities and about you. Yeah, you're probably right
00:36:56Did you try everything what?
00:36:58Like counseling, no, no, but I'm a therapist. So it's how often were you having sex? You don't know me
00:37:04I don't but if you were the love of my life, I'd want to fuck you every chance I can get. Oh
00:37:11That's so sweet
00:37:18No, you're gonna happen this tickle up not tonight, I think if I know I turned them down
00:37:24No, I spent $2,000 for you to like sit on his face or do whatever you wanted it and you you cried and you
00:37:30Kissed him. Wait, let me tell the story again. It was like a female
00:37:35Empowerment thing you shit the bed. You guys wanted me to sleep with a stranger. I mean, oh, yeah, if you wanted to
00:37:40Sorry to disappoint. Yeah, it's okay at the end of the day. We felt up a lot of men
00:37:46We fed a lot of men you got your confidence back and I blew through nearly
00:37:52$20,000. Okay time to go. Come on
00:37:58Oh
00:38:00My god, are we on the side?
00:38:05It's like the brightness settings on Samantha's iPad. All right, who's not me me and and I think you're all
00:38:13Really gonna love what I prepared
00:38:15Okay
00:38:20Ladies how's everybody feeling on a level from zero to cirrhosis?
00:38:24Anybody need a coconut water?
00:38:26Advil tampon red, please. Stop shouting. I just keep burping at weenies. Mmm weenie burps my face
00:38:33Why don't we go to this strip club first? Come on seeing morning strippers is the best
00:38:37They work harder for those dollars here. If you take four of any's your allergic reaction will be gone by the morning
00:38:43Won't these just knock me the fuck out? Yes, when do you have to stop drugging people ladies? Listen?
00:38:52Let's talk about the future. Oh like palm readers. Don't be insane. I'm talking
00:38:56401ks, I'm talking mutual funds. I'm talking about having your money make you
00:39:03Money, whoa, whoa, whoa there Jackie Brown
00:39:08Like a little parlay with you
00:39:11What's up?
00:39:12Do you think considering Isabella's?
00:39:16fragile
00:39:17weakened almost barely alive state after my heroic and
00:39:23valiant rescue and
00:39:26then
00:39:28Well, then looks like she's holding on by a thread here and about to puke up all that shrimp that she ate
00:39:33Wendy
00:39:35Well, actually Wendy looks fine. Yes
00:39:38But I was thinking maybe not the best time for a whole money business conversation
00:39:42No, it's the perfect time. There's a lesson in this
00:39:46It's gonna be good. Carry on
00:39:51Girls
00:39:52There is no better time than the present to be saving
00:39:58You must always
00:39:59be
00:40:01saving
00:40:03Hey always be be saving
00:40:08I
00:40:09Don't want a dirty. Yes. I'll have one. Okay, how much did you put towards savings from each paycheck $20? No
00:40:1615% do you want to be 90 and still working? I hope I'm dead. Okay, does everybody have a Roth IRA?
00:40:21I don't know what that is. I boned a guy named Ira once. Oh, was that the guy with the glass?
00:40:25I know his last name was glass. It was our glass Wow
00:40:30Okay
00:40:31I've got my work cut out for me
00:40:38Oh
00:40:55Okay
00:40:56Any questions? What does this have to do with Zan?
00:40:59Me. Oh, I don't care. You're really in your element Sammy. I've been enjoying watching you speak
00:41:05How have you not retained anything? I've just said with my 20 grand
00:41:09I want you to put it into a retirement fund. Tony won't be able to touch it cuz it'll be in your name. Oh
00:41:14Good. Yes, I'll definitely need help with that
00:41:18This was the help. Oh
00:41:22Could you send all of this in an email no
00:41:26Yes
00:41:27What? Oh
00:41:29Guys had the worst dream and so Samantha was giving this boring long-winded presentation. That was so good
00:41:37You're so pretty
00:41:40Whatever
00:41:42Anybody else drinking? You are all gonna die just out of curiosity. Am I listed on any of your life insurance policies?
00:41:48I'm sleepy. So I'm just gonna go shove my eyeballs over it. They can't burn
00:41:58Hatton's yes
00:42:02Let's go, let's go. Let's go. Let's do
00:42:12Let's clean up the past at me
00:42:18I
00:42:48I
00:43:09Okay, then you are lucky that I have a soft spot for wounded animals you can have your phone back like I promised
00:43:18Then
00:43:21Isabella where's them? I don't know too many pennies Wendy Sam. Yeah, where is Dan?
00:43:30It's not the charculate last night. Mr. Conductor
00:43:37Wendy
00:43:39Wendy, huh? Where is Dan?
00:43:41The last thing I remember we were drinking Malibu loose. Oh and then Ezekiel and Amara
00:43:49Zekiel and Amara what?
00:43:55Hello
00:43:58Wait for me
00:44:18Oh
00:44:32Shall we try to pick up where we left off? Oh, okay. Did we um, oh sadly no
00:44:39No, you wanted to come dance in the camp room. The dream catchers the sleep took you before we could we still enjoyed ourselves
00:44:48Next to your sleeping body, though
00:44:59What nothing I got a shower
00:45:01Whoa
00:45:13Whoa, whoa there lady of the night
00:45:16Listen, no shade. I don't want to yuck your yum
00:45:18I realized that I'm usually the one that has a penchant for men who think that bathing is optional
00:45:22But I just have to ask you did you have a trouble with the woo-woo twins? What? No, I just passed out
00:45:29Oh my god, my head don't lie to me. Come on. You did a little hand stuff
00:45:35little like
00:45:36What? No, everyone. I'm fine. Really. I just drank too much
00:45:41I just need a shower and I'll be ready for your thing. This is no big deal
00:45:47So really no hand stuff
00:45:52Yeah, she's not okay not at all she'll be okay it's very messy
00:45:57Really hope it doesn't ruin my thing
00:46:10Yes, there it is
00:46:12What the Joshua tree? Oh, we should pose like you too and do an emo album cover. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes
00:46:19Shortest to tallest. Mmm
00:46:22What are you talking about?
00:46:24Hello
00:46:25the Joshua tree I
00:46:27Can't believe we found it right away Ryan get in here. Come on
00:46:30Mm-hmm had to break this to you guys, but there is not just one tree
00:46:34There are thousands of Joshua trees hence the park name
00:46:37Joshua tree National Park, you're just gonna correct me what I'm gonna correct my grammar all day. It's not grammar just
00:46:56Oh
00:47:01Did anybody bring water you gotta pee
00:47:14What does hiking have to do with spending my life savings you'll see oh, can't we see sooner Ren?
00:47:22Ah
00:47:23guys
00:47:25Keep an eye out for small foliage. I can't go on we are guests in nature's habitat
00:47:29And we don't want to be gentrifiers. This is so much longer than a mile
00:47:34You got this. Oh, you got this. You got this girl if I can do it you can do it. Oh
00:47:41Mama's hurting come on. These hiking boots aren't meant to get dirty. Hurry up
00:47:45I'm about to die in the desert people already spent 40 years in the boat. This is what I get
00:47:54This is a death march
00:48:02Damn this is better than anything. I've ever found on insta
00:48:07You know Ren I tell all my fancy lawyer friends about you. Oh, yeah
00:48:13Yeah, they think it's pretty cool that I know a National Geographic photographer
00:48:17Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, so do you uh?
00:48:20Tell all your photography friends about me. It's kind of a solo activity
00:48:29All right, this is worth it
00:48:31But alas, I'll have to start a new life here because my legs have stopped working, but that's fine
00:48:37I think I'm gonna start a gang with the wildlife. I think that they would happily accept you as their leader
00:48:42Thank you
00:48:44Okay, so I wanted to bring you guys out here today
00:48:49Because I know that right before I got sober I I
00:48:53Put you guys through hell a lot of bodies buried here
00:48:56Yeah, and there's stuff Wendy that we said that we would take to the grave
00:48:59but in all seriousness, I am I
00:49:07I
00:49:09Know that I that I wasn't really a good friend
00:49:13And I didn't show up for you guys a lot
00:49:18And then I was really selfish a lot of the time and
00:49:21I
00:49:23Don't want to do that anymore
00:49:26It's not who I want to be. I
00:49:28Want to be accountable and I want to show up and be reliable and so as much
00:49:35As I would like to spend this money on something fun
00:49:38I'd like to give it back
00:49:44And so I want to donate the 20,000 to preserving the park I
00:49:49Like that run
00:49:57Friend that's really nice
00:49:59I
00:50:04Can be nice sometimes I wouldn't go that far and this is definitely not as pragmatic as my day was but
00:50:13Okay
00:50:15Well, I'm glad to know that emotion hasn't changed you from pulling focus in any situation. I love you so much friend. I
00:50:22Love all of you so much my god. Okay. Stop. Okay. I can't help it. It's a comment. It's a flow
00:50:30I
00:50:33Antidepressants won't let me cry, but this is nice why you're my rock come
00:50:40Okay, that's enough emotion I'm done let's go well it was really nice run you did that
00:50:59Oh
00:51:13What is good here I have never seen a more beautiful group of women before you're pretty cute, too
00:51:22Can't go wrong with any Tex Mex especially the
00:51:27pulled pork and do you
00:51:29Pull your pork my hand. It's better when someone else does it
00:51:34I'll give you girls a few minutes
00:51:37Hurry back. Oh
00:51:39My god, Wendy what Diego would kill me if I was flirting with the waiter like that
00:51:45He doesn't own you. You're not even engaged yet
00:51:49I'm not you're right. I'm not so I should stand up to him
00:51:53I mean, what am I doing? You know, so back to Wendy and the flirting Wendy, uh flirting never killed anybody
00:51:59Besides Harry and I have an open arrangement. Wait, wait, what do you mean by open? It means we can fuck other people
00:52:05No, settle. Okay, the straights are doing the open relationship think that that's our thing. Is this new?
00:52:09How long has this been going on? Um, we started a couple months ago and it's been great
00:52:12I mean, honestly, we've never been better and it doesn't eat you alive
00:52:15No, I mean it's like it's like what I think about Cinnabon's, you know
00:52:19I crave one and I crave one and I crave one and eventually I'm going to the mall
00:52:22You know what? I mean? It's like that. So Harry is the Cinnabon or are you the Cinnabon?
00:52:27Nobody's the Cinnabon. It's it's about temptation, you know, if there's always a Cinnabon on the table, you know, if I want one
00:52:33I want one no big deal. Wow Wow
00:52:37You know, you're kind of
00:52:39Enlightened, you know, it's like that time that the Pope did a fist bump
00:52:42I have so many questions, especially about the Pope and you don't get jealous at all
00:52:48No
00:52:48I mean as long as he's safe and he always comes back to me at the end of the day
00:52:52All that matters is that we love and support each other
00:52:55Damn I wish Tony was like that one of our biggest fights was about
00:53:04Paninis
00:53:06I'm sorry deeds, please
00:53:09Tony kept saying he was going to the gym
00:53:11Then one day I get an alert on my card for paninis at Pedro's Tony and I love Pedro's
00:53:18I was so excited for Pedro's paninis, but he got home for dinner and
00:53:22And
00:53:24Nothing
00:53:27I've never policed what he was buying, but I know he bought two paninis. I know it. I
00:53:34started a spiral and
00:53:36then I
00:53:38Snapped
00:53:40Where are the paninis Tony? What did you do with the paninis? What did he say? He called me insane
00:53:46Said it was overreacting that I didn't trust him
00:53:49But I knew he ate those paninis with someone and look what happened
00:53:54Now I'm sure he's eating Pedro's paninis every day with Jenny
00:53:59Look, I just want to say I totally witness you on the whole panini situation
00:54:02But I was wondering have you ever talked to Tony about it after? No
00:54:09Why no no reason
00:54:11Mmm. No, what it just
00:54:14seems like
00:54:16Every Tony story involves
00:54:19Avoiding feelings
00:54:21That's all just a little bit
00:54:24You guys do not know what it's like
00:54:26Every time I tried to have a normal couples conversation with him. He said I was using my shrink powers on him
00:54:32I'd never bring up issues because he would get so defensive
00:54:38So, do you ladies know what you want I'll have a tall glass of you the carafe of mimosas for one
00:54:45you know, I have a break coming up if you want to join me for a
00:54:50Cigarette
00:54:53Because it's gross hmm for you all second-handed great can't wait
00:55:02Get it girl didn't even take our order sir, sir
00:55:09Welcome back
00:55:15Oh
00:55:32Guys that feel feel a little emotional that was
00:55:37Okay, okay
00:55:39Okay, cuz where the hell is Wendy it's been over an hour we have a schedule to keep people
00:56:01Thanks for the workout, can I get your number? Oh, I don't think so. I'm a drifter, baby
00:56:08The tumbleweed blown in the wind try to forget about me
00:56:26Yes, I need to know everything I want I want all the details did you lick his stash what did it smell like
00:56:32Look at you. Sorry. Okay. I just had to do a little victory lap there
00:56:38What are we talking about
00:56:51Infiltrate
00:56:57Secure the bag I don't know. I'm just not good at deception. Oh my little jumping shoulder cactus
00:57:06You can do this
00:57:08Think about us
00:57:10How are we gonna pay for my gluteal?
00:57:14transplants and
00:57:17We aren't business. I do want to sell colorful yarn tapestries full-time and I want that for you
00:57:24my mini Mojave
00:57:27Now giddy up
00:57:37My dogs are barking your shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom first?
00:57:41I need to drop the kids off at the pool, huh? Who had 26 hours. I had 25 at 18
00:57:47What are you talking about Ben mode? Thank you done me, too
00:57:51I want a side bet to see how long you would go without talking about poop
00:57:54I do not talk about poop that much the person who talks about poop every day
00:57:57You are constantly talking about your bowel movements in college. You know, I didn't mind that much
00:58:01It made me feel better about my two a days. Thank you. Well, whatever
00:58:04I do not have anything to hide now, if you excuse me, I'm going to take a huge
00:58:11Satisfying
00:58:13I'm taking a big shit
00:58:15There it is. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Diego says we're in the running to get them on row house for our wedding
00:58:26What good news have you brought I
00:58:29sense a positive energy
00:58:32Where did she even come from?
00:58:34Thanks, um, I didn't want to say anything when Sam was around but this is like the plates
00:58:39Oh my god is just tit up and tell her who gives a shit of Tony's the best man. She's your best friend
00:58:45She'll understand. Oh, yeah, she'll totally understand. Yeah, who?
00:58:49Sam Tony's her ex and you know what? Never mind. It doesn't matter
00:58:54Okay, I will but you saw her today right? She needs a fun weekend one more day of it's your funeral
00:59:01One row house is so pretty
00:59:06Thanks, I am having so much fun planning my wedding
00:59:21Don't touch me do any of you have anything to add like say snacks of cash or hey
00:59:27Hey
00:59:28Do you need something?
00:59:29Well, no, I just I saw you guys having so much fun and I just want to be a part
00:59:34I'm gonna go if you have anything I'll be right next door tools
00:59:40Do you think she's okay like mentally hard to tell
00:59:57I think it is time
01:00:00Here you are my lady
01:00:03Thank you, madam, what the hell's happening no fucking idea you do
01:00:08State your positivity mantra
01:00:12Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. It can be messy and
01:00:20Unpredictable and full of joy. I am whole I am free
01:00:27Good now channel all of your feelings into that feather and when you're ready
01:00:31Let it go
01:00:43Is that it Wendy zip it
01:00:46San must now let go of all the negativity
01:00:49She partook in or was passive about through a series of shouts peppered with swears. Feel free to join her if you like
01:00:55I can totally get into that
01:00:57Fuck you, Tony. Yeah, fuck your face
01:01:00Fuck CrossFit and fuck Jenny and fuck your stupid custom designer jeans
01:01:05They make your hips look like birthing hips. Yeah, fuck y'all hips
01:01:09Um, okay. Yeah, that's that's good. But um, I meant more like behaviors like
01:01:15Fuck your inability to confront anyone or own up to my part own up to my part. Just a suggestion. Okay
01:01:22Um
01:01:24Fuck you for cheating on me
01:01:26You broke us you quit you were unhappy. I
01:01:31deserved more
01:01:33That is good. That's good. Establishing the relationship is good, but maybe
01:01:38Embrace the part you played in the relationship, too
01:01:42Got it
01:01:44Fuck you for making me lose trust in everyone
01:01:46I wish I could go back to not being sad all the time and I wish that things could just go back to normal
01:01:53What what am I doing wrong now, you're just not really following the prompt just own up to your part
01:01:59Oh, and you two would do it better. Yeah, actually, I think I would you know, I'm not gonna say anything
01:02:03So I'm sensing it would only make things worse. Right, right Ren. Do you want to get divorced?
01:02:07No, because someone would actually have to love you first. Fuck you and Samantha
01:02:12How about you stop trying to control everything that I do. It's just my internal business for one. That's not fair
01:02:16I'm better at business than you are. What is not fair is Tony
01:02:20Leaving me
01:02:21this record before
01:02:23Okay, I am the one that got cheated on. So so
01:02:27Don't have to anything because no one cheats for no reason
01:02:31Stop always playing the victim
01:02:34Maybe Tony cheated because you never communicate how you're feeling. You never stand up for anything. Not even yourself
01:02:41You're a therapist own your shit
01:02:44That's a little harsh for me is well, you know what? I want you to do with the money
01:02:49Go see a therapist or a counselor something. Stop. Stop it
01:02:53You think you have all the answers, but you don't you think that everything is just going to magically go back to normal?
01:02:59Yes, it will know it won't you're a different person now, and that's okay
01:03:05But you have to acknowledge that things in your life are changing. Oh my god
01:03:10It's been almost a year when Diego and I are married. I want us to be able to talk and support each other
01:03:15Well, you'd have to get married first, so don't hold your breath damn what the fuck
01:03:21What what am I missing ladies?
01:03:24Forget forget it forget I said anything. Okay, let's just go back down the hill and and relax and stop moping
01:03:30Okay, I'm not moping. You're a huge moper. You're moping. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I'm done with this
01:03:38Okay, Dan wait, okay wait, let's talk don't follow me just give me some space
01:03:43Okay, we'll be like a hundred yards behind you nope
01:03:50Well that fucking sucked I know
01:03:53turn
01:03:54You know, I feel worse and stressed and you guys aren't helping. Oh my god, you were cuddling her
01:03:59We can't all be as blunt as you well, you should have just told her right then
01:04:04Bourbon, you know Wendy not everything is bettered by booze. Most things are better
01:04:13I
01:04:33I'm not moping. She's a big mopey mopester. I'm fine
01:04:37Hello, dark sister. Jesus you scared me. I've been waiting for you
01:04:42Tea I'm too annoyed for tea
01:04:51I would like to offer you a gift
01:04:54I don't get a lot of visitors in the desert and you've been so warm
01:04:59welcoming
01:05:01And it seems like all of your friends just guys love and enjoy each other so much
01:05:07please
01:05:08Take my gift
01:05:10I'm certainly not enjoying them right now
01:05:13It's like can't they just unconditionally support me without pushing me to do things that make me feel uncomfortable
01:05:19Totally. I don't fight for things. I fight for stuff
01:05:22What is this earth?
01:05:24spices
01:05:26That's it. Drink it all
01:05:36No Amara no sit
01:05:39Yeah, sit
01:05:41Listen bud, we've had a really weird couple of days
01:05:45Okay, a feeder's shrimp almost murdered me. Uh-huh. And there's been a bit of tension. Oh, I sensed it
01:05:51You hold it in your breasts my breasts. Mm-hmm like a tension bra. I
01:05:57Would like to give Zen and all of you a gift
01:06:01Yeah, I want it. I want the gift. Yes, it won't take long. I promise
01:06:08I need everyone to join hands. Close your eyes
01:06:28Great desert spirit
01:06:32We call upon to thee for your endless power
01:06:36Hmm
01:06:40We call upon you to freeze and from our ex-husband Tommy Tony Tony, yes
01:06:48Release her from Tony's spiritual shackle
01:06:55Release her from his
01:07:07I
01:07:10Need everyone to focus girls
01:07:15Say
01:07:18Release yourself
01:07:21How
01:07:36Oh
01:08:06Oh
01:08:10Okay
01:08:18Your plans
01:08:24That was it yes
01:08:27That's it. Don't you feel better? I do actually feel better. Thank you because happiness is contagious
01:08:37Love is contagious
01:08:44And maybe by Isabella's wedding oh shit, you'll have a new love of your own
01:08:50Mmm, Isabella's wedding. Mm-hmm to a go Diego
01:08:58What what's she talking about I
01:09:00I I'm engaged. I'm engaged. It just happened. This is brand new information
01:09:17Everyone knows
01:09:18Before me I didn't want to overshadow your weekend
01:09:22So you make me the fool?
01:09:24Amara Amara knows before me. I am NOT a baby that you have to hide things from I was trying to protect you
01:09:31I'm supposed to be your best friend
01:09:35If I even invited your wedding, of course, of course you are we have been through so much together. Okay?
01:09:43boyfriends promotions moving and
01:09:46You
01:09:50Were the first person I wanted to see you when my mom died and you're so important to me I
01:09:59Wasn't planning on doing this like this
01:10:03Read but I was wondering if you would be my maid of honor
01:10:11Well, that's great
01:10:14Well, it is time to end this bullshit woo-woo mantra
01:10:20Then wait Isabella get in that RV right now and tell her you're sorry
01:10:23I well, she just needs a minute guys. That is her contained sadness walk. I've seen it a million times
01:10:28This is not good. Get in there. Oh, well too late. No
01:10:35I'm so sorry. I didn't know it was a secret
01:10:40Yep, I'm just gonna light that sage honey
01:10:43Yep, get the away evil devil spirits. Yep. Do you have any weed?
01:10:49Not the time I do. Oh, okay. Maybe it is the time
01:11:05I'm sorry. Can we talk? I
01:11:09Am good, really
01:11:11It was inevitable, right you guys are gonna be really happy together
01:11:17I didn't want to overshadow your weekend. Of course not and you know what you are, right?
01:11:23This is my weekend and you know who I don't want to spend this weekend. What?
01:11:30Yeah
01:11:36Where are you going I'm leaving because apparently my friends have been lying to me
01:11:40And talking behind my back and trying to get me to sleep with random dudes
01:11:46Or or like telling me what to do with my finances half is better than zero see
01:11:53Meddling this is Tony's fault. No bringing $100,000 into the desert is crazy. And that's not Tony's fault
01:12:00That's your fault. Oh, it's his fault. Look. I really think that
01:12:04I
01:12:07Can you take responsibility for anything Oh
01:12:11This might not be the time to bring this up or it might be the perfect time
01:12:15But I gave Zan the gift of clarity Amara leave us alone
01:12:18Okay, but she's probably got about five minutes before the dreads. Don't tell her what to do
01:12:23Wait, what you're talking about? You drugged her the herbs and spices tea. Mm-hmm herbs or mushrooms spices or mushrooms
01:12:32Jesus you drink anything from this grifter. She is sketch even for me. Come on, Zan, you know better
01:12:42Wendy okay, do any of you have experience with psychedelics? I don't know why I'm asking I'm gonna go do it. No, I'll go
01:12:48She's mad at me
01:12:50I'm just gonna get a jacket before I go running around in the desert at night. God is I told you not
01:12:55You'll make me feel worse
01:13:01Oh
01:13:05We stumbled into something
01:13:07We know you've got tons of cash hand it over and you won't get fly. Ah Z kill. Come on
01:13:13We've already seen your genitals Amara you too. Sorry Earth sister. Well custom small batch diet yarn tapestries, aren't she?
01:13:20Stop talking. Where's the money? What money my hard-earned drag money? You can't have it. I'm not playing around
01:13:27Give us the cash
01:13:29Please don't hurt us. He'll give you whatever you want. Calm down. I heard you're talking about it
01:13:34Where's the money? Um, we don't actually know where the money is. Only Zan does I know you're lying. You better get her here now
01:13:57I
01:14:16Didn't even try to save us
01:14:28You
01:14:43Don't have to do this
01:14:46Hey, hey, you want a corgi it's on me. I want the money and
01:14:52The cord we don't know where the money is only sand us we have to find her she is on drugs and she's alone
01:14:59Oh, she's okay
01:15:01Hey Ren
01:15:02If we're gonna die, I'm glad it's with network
01:15:09I'm gonna need a lot of therapy after this
01:15:16Take this feather let it go
01:15:21Oh my friends my friends
01:15:33My friends
01:15:43Yeah, I really did think you gals were fun, shut up Amara
01:15:47You shut up you yell princess yell princess, what are you gonna do you're gonna tie up four women people will be looking for us
01:15:54By tomorrow morning. Yep. Well, we'll we'll we'll be gone by tonight off to Juarez, Mexico to live a long surf
01:15:59Oh, we're gonna have little babies and they're gonna have little babies. They're gonna name a Wendy and everyone it's a sign
01:16:07What the fuck that's it, is she okay she's definitely not okay
01:16:10She's holding a bloody feather and I'm pretty sure she's peaking then there you you better
01:16:15Give us that hundred thousand dollars
01:16:18You know what?
01:16:21No
01:16:22You think you can come in here and lie and cheat and do whatever the hell you want?
01:16:29I don't think so. I am NOT sitting here and taking this I do not
01:16:34deserve this
01:16:37You don't get to dictate what I do with that money and I will be damned if I work this hard
01:16:43This hard for some scumbag husband take it from me. I am NOT giving you shit Tony
01:16:51now
01:16:54Hey desert sister
01:16:59You little bitches hey, you don't get to call us bitches only friends can call us that now
01:17:07Get out of here
01:17:13We gotta get a nice first caress your slumber
01:17:22Let's get out of here we're done
01:17:33We did it
01:17:35How long their mushrooms last a couple more hours, oh god, why don't we just stay here just look at this guy
01:17:45Also, your hands are bloody please don't touch anyone
01:17:51You guys I'm so jacked up on adrenaline from that tit punch. Did you see it? I've always loved your tit punches
01:17:58Again my treat because of the you know bag of money whatever. I can't believe I'm wheeling my own suitcase
01:18:05They just need some time to decompress things will be better in the morning. Are we okay? I don't know. Are we I
01:18:12Was trying to protect you I don't need shielding
01:18:16Okay, great
01:18:35I
01:19:06I
01:19:10Please sit
01:19:16What's with the formality oh
01:19:22God someone help her. Oh, no, she's gonna
01:19:26Okay
01:19:29I'm okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you all for coming. I
01:19:36Rented out the entire spa for the day. Why can't we just talk this out like adults? Well, apparently because we are incapable
01:19:43What's with the candle? I thought it was cool. It's very dramatic
01:19:47Shut it. I will blow out this ceremonial candle at the end and then we can all get massages. Hmm or
01:19:56Oh
01:19:57Okay, I thought you would do that you little smartass
01:20:02my prickly pear run
01:20:07So, I know we could not go to the sound bath so I brought this bronze singing bowl
01:20:14The guy that sold it to me was really freaking weird, but he said it would cleanse my chakras. So oh my god is
01:20:20itinerary I would like to finish the resurrection ceremony
01:20:26Oh
01:20:43It's a singing bowl
01:20:56Hmm I
01:21:02Really am trying I
01:21:05Know it takes two people to start a relationship
01:21:08And to that one. I was passive and scared and
01:21:14I didn't fight for anything
01:21:17So I am divorced and I own up to my part
01:21:24Not just Tony's
01:21:26Wow, that's really great and I know that things cannot get back to normal, but what does normal mean anyways
01:21:33Selling corgis. I actually do snakes now, too. Oh
01:21:37Wow
01:21:40Documenting the world
01:21:43Winning the most cases
01:21:46Or marrying a really great guy while your best friend
01:21:51Stands up at your wedding. I
01:21:52Am talking about me. I'm your best friend. I know
01:21:56And I don't care that Tony will be at the wedding
01:21:58In fact, I hope that someday I will not care about Tony at all. Yeah, fuck Tony and his tiny penis. Uh-huh
01:22:06But when I was at my lowest I
01:22:09knew that all you gals were just a
01:22:12phone call or a
01:22:15meme or an inappropriate emoji away and
01:22:21That means everything to me
01:22:27Oh
01:22:30My god
01:22:36Yeah, I did think this is gonna float in like a cool and mysterious way, yeah, that's what I thought the first time and
01:22:42I've been thinking about it and I'm going to start going to therapy
01:22:47Thank Adam. I'm bruh. Hashem as my people would say day a new day. You know my job God what she said
01:22:52You someone neutral to doctor tan we love you
01:23:02Me three same I guess
01:23:07Can I just say something really quick
01:23:11That feather is disgusting feathers in general are disgusting that feather in particular is especially disgusting
01:23:18You should throw it away or burn it or bury it and also wash your hands
01:23:24And also, I love you so much
01:23:29Is I need that wipey that you offered from before oh you want the wipey now, huh smells like death
01:23:3824 25
01:23:4126,000 $32 and 17 cents. Oh guys. We should have treated ourselves to that second trim for failing
01:23:48Chance, what the hell am I going to do with?
01:23:51$26,000
01:23:54No, absolutely not. No, no way. No. Oh, yeah, baby
01:24:00This better be the best glass of wine I've ever had in my life
01:24:05Cheers to the greatest friends a girl could ask for to the pirate wine
01:24:15Nope absolutely not
01:24:19Cinnamon-lime again, mine's good. Oh this tastes like grandmother's piss
01:24:24pirate grandmother's piss
01:24:26Why do you want to drink piss?
01:24:28it's expensive ah
01:24:34Thank God
01:24:43That's right, did you hear that I am single and ready to mingle
01:24:49Sir yeah, you still got it girl. Yeah, you death wants this that was great
01:24:55That was kind of hot and the next time we will all be together will be for Isabella's bachelorettes
01:25:01I know so many strippers in Vegas one call for me and poop stripper city
01:25:05And I think John is still DJing and he will hook us up. Okay, who's John?
01:25:09Oh, you know he's saying get low. I'm so sorry. Do you mean little John? It's not what his friends call him
01:25:14Oh my gosh, literally fucked everyone is actually incredible does help though with like hookups. No, I'm worried about her safety. He's bad
01:25:20Hey look
01:25:20I did want to tell you before you go my tender peach
01:25:23Mm-hmm that I will take two of those long boy hamsters, and you can throw in some snakes. Are you serious?
01:25:27I'm very serious. I'm deadly serious deadly
01:25:34Okay, this is really irresponsible Ren get my bag. I got your back. I gotta go. I'm too excited
01:25:44I
01:26:14Oh
01:26:44Oh
01:27:14Oh
01:27:16Oh
01:27:42Holy shit
01:27:46You
01:27:53Wanna buy me a drink. What do you think go back to my place?
01:27:56I can show you my cake cuz I'm greedy so feed me get down in your knees whenever you greet me and
01:28:08I'm not ready. My pants are all the way down four two four
01:28:16Kind eyes, are we rolling?
01:28:34A damn semi
01:28:39Or in the president's establishment room, what am I saying? This is feeling right? Yeah. Oh fuck
01:28:45I don't know what I'm saying. Fuck. I'm so good to shit balls
01:28:50Everything's so tight
01:28:53Yes, I would I didn't want to say anything oops
01:28:56That's my other line. I'm Tony
01:28:59That's not my husband. That's your husband disappointed
01:29:04Is it solved or better because you can't solve a curse word. All right. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry
01:29:09Give me a stand your ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
01:29:12I'm certainly not enjoying them right now
01:29:14Are you trying to say you want to get double penetrated because I feel like I can't do that anymore
01:29:27My oven's not big enough for two eggplants
01:29:41Double-penetrated by Ricardo two eggplants in the oven
01:29:52Well, okay it better be
01:30:11I
01:30:33Live
01:30:41I
01:31:11Can't go
01:31:41You
01:31:53Love it