Sex and Death Full Movie | Romantic Comedy | Melbourne, Australia

  • 2 months ago
Sex & Death follows aspiring but hopeless actress Charlie and her lost-cause attempts at romance. Haunted by duplicitous lovers, selfish friends, and a tyrannical acting coach, Charlie’s greatest performance is pretending to be normal.

Stars: Kathleen Lee, Isabella Giovinazzo, Jonathan Schuster, Rob Brown
Written, Directed by Kathleen Lee

#movies #fullmovies #hollywood


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Transcript
00:00:00What are you doing?
00:00:07What? Do you not want to?
00:00:14No.
00:00:15Wow. This is the first time you haven't wanted to.
00:00:24Are you sure? Because I think I might be kind of close.
00:00:36Does that change your mind?
00:00:40Yes. Yes it does.
00:00:43Hey.
00:00:59Hey.
00:01:01I was thinking maybe we should stop seeing each other.
00:01:10Okay.
00:01:12Okay.
00:01:13Yeah.
00:01:14Right? Excellent.
00:01:15Wait. Hey.
00:01:19Like it's totally cool but I feel like I'm very close to being kind of comfortable around you.
00:01:28And I think it would just take me a little bit longer.
00:01:31I mean this might have set me back a bit.
00:01:33But just I'm really close.
00:01:35Do you want to just hang out a few more times and like see?
00:01:40Okay.
00:01:41I'm sorry.
00:01:43No it's fine.
00:01:46It's been fun.
00:01:58Give it up dear darling Uncle Vanya.
00:02:03Give it up.
00:02:05I'm sure you'll have pity on us and give it up.
00:02:08You must enjoy your sorrow Uncle Vanya.
00:02:11You must endure it.
00:02:14Okay.
00:02:15Stop there.
00:02:19I don't believe a single word you're saying Charlie.
00:02:22I don't care about what you're saying.
00:02:25I don't care about it because you haven't missed it.
00:02:29What are you actually telling him?
00:02:32I'm telling him to return the morphine he's stolen.
00:02:36Actually I'm telling him to enjoy his sorrow.
00:02:40Telling him to enjoy his sorrow.
00:02:43That's what you're telling him.
00:02:46No you're not telling him that.
00:02:48When we say pass the salt.
00:02:49Do we mean pass the salt?
00:02:52Look I know what you're saying.
00:02:55But I think in this instance she really is just trying to express herself honestly.
00:02:59I mean sometimes we really just want some salt.
00:03:01Who the fuck wants to pay $80 to watch two people expressing themselves honestly?
00:03:06At every moment.
00:03:07Every single person in the story that you're relating to.
00:03:11You either want to fuck them or kill them.
00:03:13One or the other.
00:03:14Choose one.
00:03:15Which one?
00:03:17I feel like the characters in this play want more subtle things from each other.
00:03:23And what subtler thing do you think you want from him?
00:03:27I think she wants to earn his respect.
00:03:32It's a freezing cold night.
00:03:35I'm stuck on a tram.
00:03:38For over an hour.
00:03:40Peak hour packed tram.
00:03:42Then I pay $10 for a minuscule ice cream.
00:03:46I'm in the foyer surrounded by fucking wankers.
00:03:50And after all that you think I want to watch you earn his respect?
00:03:56Depends on the context.
00:03:57I don't want to see that.
00:03:58If I wanted to see that I would have stayed at home with my demented mother.
00:04:02Excuse me?
00:04:03What?
00:04:05Sometimes I just want the salt.
00:04:07What?
00:04:08Sometimes I just want the salt.
00:04:12Nobody wants to see you earn his respect.
00:04:15We don't want to see that.
00:04:16Okay?
00:04:17We want to see sex and death.
00:04:21Isn't he meant to be my uncle?
00:04:23So what?
00:04:24He's a fucking human being.
00:04:25Look at him.
00:04:29Look him in the eyes and decide.
00:04:31Do you want to fuck him or do you want to kill him?
00:04:37Can I choose both?
00:04:38Yes.
00:04:39Both would be great.
00:04:41Yes.
00:04:42God.
00:04:43Just pick one.
00:04:44Okay.
00:04:46Okay, I've picked one.
00:04:49When you're ready.
00:04:54Give it up.
00:04:56Dear, darling, Uncle Vanya.
00:05:01Give it up.
00:05:03You are so good.
00:05:05I'm sure you'll have pity on us and give it up.
00:05:09You must endure your sorrow, Uncle Vanya.
00:05:12You must.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14Stop.
00:05:18What was that?
00:05:19Well, I was trying to fuck him.
00:05:21Trying to?
00:05:23We don't try.
00:05:24You don't try.
00:05:27Want.
00:05:28Actually want to kill him.
00:05:32To fuck him.
00:05:34Want it.
00:05:35Actually want it.
00:05:53Excuse me.
00:05:56Sorry.
00:05:58You're only supposed to be sitting here if you're eating some chicken.
00:06:01You can't eat your mushrooms here.
00:06:04This is a chicken shop.
00:06:07Did you want some chicken?
00:06:09I'm vegan.
00:06:14I could get something else.
00:06:16We're actually just closing up.
00:06:20I just realized.
00:06:21So that's why I'm cleaning this up.
00:06:25Sorry.
00:06:27I thought these were like semi-public chairs, you know, like at Brunetti's.
00:06:34You know how you can eat sushi out in front of Brunetti's?
00:06:38Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can't do that there either.
00:06:42There's some fully public benches at the park if you want to go and eat them there.
00:06:47No.
00:06:49No, that's okay.
00:06:50I can walk and eat.
00:06:52Just as long as you're off the property, I reckon, you could eat to your heart's content.
00:06:59Can I use your bathroom?
00:07:03I don't know.
00:07:05It's a rule we have.
00:07:07You need to eat chicken if you're going to use our bathroom.
00:07:13It's kind of a rule we have.
00:07:15It's kind of a rule we have.
00:07:17There's a cafe down there if you want to go there.
00:07:20You'd probably have to buy a coffee.
00:07:22Just maybe don't eat the mushrooms there as well.
00:07:26I wouldn't want you to get in trouble.
00:07:28Okay.
00:07:30Sorry.
00:07:31No, I'm sorry.
00:07:32You seem lovely.
00:07:35Have a good day.
00:07:45Bye.
00:08:02Hey, how did it go this morning?
00:08:05Yeah, it was so easy.
00:08:08She didn't care.
00:08:09She didn't care?
00:08:10Nope.
00:08:11Oh my god.
00:08:12I knew she wouldn't care.
00:08:13This is really good.
00:08:14I bet we have.
00:08:15No, we have.
00:08:16Oh, really?
00:08:17Yeah.
00:08:18How?
00:08:19It's weird.
00:08:20She's weird.
00:08:22But this is really good.
00:08:23This is so good.
00:08:26Pat.
00:08:27Hey, Damien.
00:08:28How are you?
00:08:29Good, man.
00:08:30How are you?
00:08:31Yeah, good.
00:08:32What's been happening?
00:08:33Oh, the usual.
00:08:34Just hanging out here.
00:08:35Hi.
00:08:36Hello.
00:08:37Are you Damien's GF?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Yeah, sure.
00:08:40I'd be uncertain too if I was you.
00:08:42Don't listen to him.
00:08:43He's funny like that.
00:08:45Uh, Pat, we're just going to grab a couple of drinks.
00:08:48You want to hang out?
00:08:49Drink with us?
00:08:50Uh, nah.
00:08:52No thanks.
00:08:53But thank you.
00:08:54No worries.
00:08:55What do you want?
00:08:56Can I get an iced teacup latte without my milk?
00:08:58Yeah.
00:08:59Yes.
00:09:00Yes, you can.
00:09:01Uh, Pat, will you still be here when I get back?
00:09:04Yeah, probably.
00:09:05See you then.
00:09:08So what do you do?
00:09:10Uh, I'm an actor.
00:09:12Cool.
00:09:13What do you do?
00:09:14Work at a chicken shop.
00:09:18Well, it's lovely to meet you.
00:09:20I'm Tanya.
00:09:21Tanya.
00:09:23Oh my god, wait.
00:09:24What are you doing here?
00:09:26Uh, I've got an audition out there.
00:09:28Avery.
00:09:29Oh, yeah.
00:09:30The dog commercial thing.
00:09:31Yeah.
00:09:32Yeah.
00:09:33Well, they're going to love you.
00:09:36Have a great audition.
00:09:38You finished your mushrooms?
00:09:40Uh, no.
00:09:41Put them in my bag, actually.
00:09:42Yeah.
00:09:43I thought you were going to walk and eat them together.
00:09:45Yeah, I changed plans.
00:09:47Well, you know, don't get hungry.
00:09:49Yeah, okay.
00:09:50So you guys know each other?
00:09:51No, we just met at the chicken shop.
00:09:55Wait, you're a vegan?
00:09:56Yeah, I was eating mushrooms.
00:09:58They sell mushrooms?
00:09:59No, I bought my own.
00:10:00And you were allowed to do that?
00:10:02I got in trouble.
00:10:03Yeah, you can't bring food from home.
00:10:06How do you guys know each other?
00:10:09Um, also from the chicken shop.
00:10:14Good luck with the audition.
00:10:16I'm just going to get a coffee.
00:10:18Can I get you a decaf iced almond latte?
00:10:22No, no, no, I'm fine, thank you.
00:10:23What about you?
00:10:24Pat.
00:10:25Pat.
00:10:26No, thank you.
00:10:27Thanks, though.
00:10:28No.
00:10:30You look really sad.
00:10:32Um, yeah, I am sad, actually.
00:10:36Um, Damien broke up with me.
00:10:38Oh, babe, oh my god.
00:10:42That is kind of a good thing, right?
00:10:46Um, well, not really.
00:10:50I mean, I know it was just casual, but it had been two years.
00:10:56I think I kind of like him.
00:10:58I don't know, I think maybe I love him.
00:11:02Oh, wow.
00:11:05Hi.
00:11:06Hey.
00:11:09How's it going?
00:11:10Yeah, yeah, it's good.
00:11:12How are you?
00:11:13Good, yeah.
00:11:14What are you doing?
00:11:15Um, well, I just ran into Tanya.
00:11:17Do you remember Tanya, my housemate?
00:11:19Hey.
00:11:20And, um, this is Ben.
00:11:23Pat.
00:11:24Pat.
00:11:25Yeah, no, I know Pat.
00:11:26We went to uni together.
00:11:27Oh.
00:11:28Yeah, remember when I was doing writing?
00:11:30Pat.
00:11:31Ah.
00:11:32Pat from writing.
00:11:33Uh, where are you sitting?
00:11:35Do you want to sit together?
00:11:37Uh, no, that's probably not a great idea.
00:11:41Do you, maybe, what do you think?
00:11:44It probably isn't, but what do you think?
00:11:46Do you think?
00:11:47Um.
00:11:48No, it's probably not a good idea.
00:11:49Are you okay?
00:11:51Yeah.
00:11:52Yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm okay.
00:11:54You okay?
00:11:55I'm okay.
00:11:56Yeah, I'm okay, too.
00:11:57We're all okay.
00:11:58Everyone's okay.
00:11:59Um, I'm going to go, actually.
00:12:00Babe, it was great to see you.
00:12:01Nice to meet you, Pat.
00:12:02Hey, mate, where do you want these?
00:12:06Yeah, right, um, yeah, right here.
00:12:10Are they meant to be takeaway?
00:12:12No, that's fine.
00:12:14Okay.
00:12:15Got a long black.
00:12:16Yep, that's me.
00:12:17Yep.
00:12:18And I've got an iced decaf latte with almond milk.
00:12:21Iced decaf latte with almond milk.
00:12:23Who's having that?
00:12:25Yeah, that's mine.
00:12:27That's yours?
00:12:28There you go.
00:12:29Maybe you guys could take a seat just for the council.
00:12:32Sure, sure thing, mate.
00:12:42So, Pat, how's the fucking family going, eh?
00:12:46Yeah, good.
00:12:47Yeah, good.
00:12:48Still writing?
00:12:49A little bit?
00:12:50Nah.
00:12:51Come on, that feature was really good.
00:12:52Thank you, but.
00:12:53I just, um, realised that I probably should, um,
00:12:59I should probably go, actually, because of the, uh, yeah.
00:13:03Uh, see you.
00:13:04See ya.
00:13:05See ya.
00:13:10That was a close one, eh?
00:13:13Wasn't it?
00:13:14It was good.
00:13:15Are you kidding me?
00:13:16What do you mean?
00:13:18Oh, my God, Damien.
00:13:20What?
00:13:21Why?
00:13:52You didn't end up getting your coffee.
00:13:55Did I behave very weirdly back there?
00:13:57Yeah, but no more than anyone else in that situation.
00:14:01I think you're extra weird.
00:14:03Nah.
00:14:05I would have realised way sooner, but I didn't even know they,
00:14:08they are together, yeah?
00:14:10Yeah, sorry.
00:14:12Are you responsible?
00:14:14Nah.
00:14:16You're not gonna cry and eat mushrooms again, are you?
00:14:19Would you like that?
00:14:20No, no.
00:14:22It's one of the saddest things I've ever seen in my life.
00:14:28Do you feel terrible?
00:14:30Uh, well, I was about to feel stuff, but now you're here.
00:14:33I can't really feel stuff while you're here.
00:14:35Why's that?
00:14:37Well, I've got to entertain you now.
00:14:40You're doing a terrible job.
00:14:43Do you feel sad?
00:14:45Do you feel sad?
00:14:47Well, I hate it when people know stuff that I don't know.
00:14:51What do you mean?
00:14:53Like, they knew that they were together and I didn't know.
00:14:56What, you're upset that you didn't know that they were together?
00:14:59Yeah.
00:15:00More than them actually being together?
00:15:02Yes.
00:15:04That's weird.
00:15:05Where are you going?
00:15:07To your audition.
00:15:08Hi, my name's Charlie.
00:15:10I'm 25.
00:15:11I'm 175 centimetres tall.
00:15:14I love acting, yoga and going for long walks.
00:15:19Not at sunset, but right after sunset.
00:15:24OK, we'll get your profiles.
00:15:26Turn to the left.
00:15:28And the other side.
00:15:32And back to the front.
00:15:35OK, and now we'll go into the scene.
00:15:38Oh, do you want me to deliver into the camera?
00:15:41Yeah, straight into the lens.
00:15:45I love my dog, but I hate it when he has bad breath.
00:15:49Ew.
00:15:50That's why I feed him dog bites.
00:15:53The unique blend of bone, meat and vegetable ensures that he gets
00:15:58the nutrition he needs without the nasty scent.
00:16:02So now I can hug my dog whenever I want.
00:16:06Thanks, dog bites.
00:16:08How was I?
00:16:09Honestly?
00:16:10Yeah.
00:16:11Terrible.
00:16:13I was going for wholesome but sexy.
00:16:16I have a dog and after seeing that, I never want to feed it again.
00:16:23Do you even want the role?
00:16:25Yeah, I bet Tanya will get it.
00:16:27Why?
00:16:28She's gotten every role I've ever auditioned for.
00:16:30She's also dated every guy I've ever liked since I met her.
00:16:33But usually before I get the chance, this is a new kind of love.
00:16:37Oh, my God.
00:16:43Can I punch you?
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:46Now?
00:16:47Yeah.
00:16:48Um, why?
00:16:50Because you've just had the worst day ever and this is definitely going to help.
00:16:54Okay.
00:16:55Tense up.
00:16:59Was that good?
00:17:00Yeah, it was good.
00:17:01Do you want to do it again?
00:17:02No, it's your turn.
00:17:03I don't want to do it.
00:17:05Actually, I will.
00:17:09Yeah.
00:17:10Did that hurt?
00:17:11A little bit.
00:17:12But you've got, like, the thinnest arms ever.
00:17:15But I've got good core strength.
00:17:17I know.
00:17:18From all your yoga and your after sunset walks.
00:17:21That's right.
00:17:27Thank you for following me around.
00:17:30You're welcome.
00:17:31Hang on.
00:17:32So how the fuck am I supposed to get all my stuff to your place then?
00:17:35I don't know.
00:17:36Get an Uber or something.
00:17:37I can't get an Uber.
00:17:38I'm a full-time actress.
00:17:40I'm, like, so poor.
00:17:41I didn't think it'd take this long.
00:17:42Hey, guys.
00:17:43Hey.
00:17:44Oh, my God, Charlie.
00:17:46I'm trying to get all my stuff to Damien's house so I can give you some space.
00:17:50And Damien was supposed to help me but now he's bailed at the last second.
00:17:53It's okay, Tan.
00:17:55You didn't have to do that.
00:17:56No, I know.
00:17:57I know, babe.
00:17:58I don't mind.
00:17:59Honestly, I was actually kind of looking forward to spending some time at Damien's house
00:18:03until he started acting like an unreliable dick.
00:18:06It's three giant bags.
00:18:08Like, how long are you trying to stay for?
00:18:10I don't know.
00:18:11As long as it takes Charlie to recover.
00:18:14How long do you think, Charlie?
00:18:16Uh, I don't know.
00:18:18A couple of days?
00:18:21I've got plans tonight.
00:18:23I can't stick around.
00:18:24Yeah, that's fine, but don't tell me you're going to help me
00:18:27and then make plans to play pool with the boys.
00:18:30That's tradition.
00:18:31Oh, yeah.
00:18:32You're not going to talk him out of that.
00:18:34Hey, is Clancy going tonight?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Oh, I'm going to miss Clancy.
00:18:39Hang on, are you guys having a fucking moment right now?
00:18:42Sorry, Tom.
00:18:43No, babe, don't you apologize.
00:18:45I feel like such a bitch when I apologize.
00:18:47Sorry, uh, yeah.
00:18:48Is that Clancy Daniels?
00:18:50Yeah.
00:18:51Fuck, how is he?
00:18:52Oh, he is kicking goals, man.
00:18:54You fucking do?
00:18:55If you knew Clancy, you would get it.
00:18:57Daniel, why don't I just drive your bags to Damien's house for you?
00:19:00No way.
00:19:01That's a great idea.
00:19:02She could give me a lift.
00:19:04You just dumped her for her best friend.
00:19:06She is not going to give you a lift.
00:19:13Pat, what do you do outside of the chicken shop?
00:19:16Nothing.
00:19:17Wait, you're still at that chicken shop?
00:19:19Yeah.
00:19:20Holy shit.
00:19:22But, like, you're studying or something, right?
00:19:25Not really.
00:19:27Hang on, what are you working towards?
00:19:30Like, what's your goal?
00:19:32Your dream?
00:19:34Yeah, Pat, what is your dream?
00:19:38I think that some people, maybe the smartest people,
00:19:42are content with really simple things.
00:19:44Not that the chicken shop is simple,
00:19:46but I think it's really wonderful if you don't need that much for yourself.
00:19:50Not that you don't have much.
00:19:52I don't know what you have.
00:19:53But, I mean, without needing to express yourself all the time.
00:19:56Although you seem expressive.
00:19:58Well said.
00:20:00But, yeah, most of us are not wankers.
00:20:03Pat, you still are.
00:20:05Damien, don't be such an arsehole.
00:20:07Oh, I am an arsehole.
00:20:08That's why you like me.
00:20:10You know, that is actually true.
00:20:12I'm attracted to guys that are arseholes
00:20:14because I have super low self-esteem.
00:20:16Like, I'm comfortable being abused.
00:20:18I'll even date guys that are way less hot than me
00:20:21if they're arseholes.
00:20:23Yeah, yeah, such low self-esteem.
00:20:25I do.
00:20:26You said you're really hot.
00:20:28Yeah, I judge myself on my appearance.
00:20:30That is low self-esteem.
00:20:32Not when you're judging yourself really fucking high.
00:20:35Pretty sure it makes no difference.
00:20:37I didn't realise you guys knew each other so well.
00:20:40Oh, not that that's true or anything, Tonya.
00:20:43Babe, we didn't cheat on you, OK?
00:20:47I would never, ever do that to you.
00:20:49That's not what I meant.
00:20:51I told him I wouldn't sleep with him
00:20:53until you guys weren't together anymore.
00:20:55Although that's really not what I meant.
00:20:57In fact, I actually stopped it, like, multiple times.
00:20:59Can we go?
00:21:02Bye, babe.
00:21:04Bye, have fun.
00:21:06See you later, guys.
00:21:12What the...?
00:21:13Damien!
00:21:14What?
00:21:17Would you throw your stuff around like that?
00:21:19It's just clothes.
00:21:20It's not just clothes.
00:21:22They're very expensive clothes.
00:21:31Just behind this bluish car.
00:22:01OK, bye.
00:22:03Bye.
00:22:31Bye.
00:23:02You know where
00:23:04I don't know where
00:23:08to be
00:23:14When I try...
00:23:32Hi.
00:23:33Hey.
00:23:34Nice chicken shop.
00:23:38Hi.
00:23:39What would you like?
00:23:40Ah, uh, that's OK.
00:23:42I, um, I don't want anything.
00:23:44I was just saying hi to Pat.
00:23:49Uh, bye.
00:23:52See ya.
00:24:01You say hi to Pat.
00:24:03It's just a special glove.
00:24:05It's a chicken shop.
00:24:07It's not a chicken.
00:24:08It's a chicken.
00:24:09Oh, wait a second.
00:24:10OK, you forget the...
00:24:12I said it's not a special glove.
00:24:15Next time.
00:24:17Sorry.
00:24:19Work.
00:24:20Work.
00:24:21You are so good.
00:24:23I am sure you will have pity on us and give it up.
00:24:26You must endure your sorrow, Uncle Vanya.
00:24:30You must endure it.
00:24:32There it is.
00:24:33Charlie, say your line again.
00:24:40You are so good.
00:24:42I am sure you will have pity on us and give it up.
00:24:46You must endure your sorrow, Uncle Vanya.
00:24:49You must endure it.
00:24:56There it is.
00:24:57Stop, please.
00:24:59OK, Charlie, I think it's the words, yeah?
00:25:02The words are constipating you.
00:25:07Engage with your intention, yes?
00:25:10Play it.
00:25:12But the only word you are allowed to use...
00:25:18Capsicum.
00:25:23Play your intention.
00:25:26But instead of your lines, endure your sorrow, blah, blah, blah,
00:25:30it's capsicum.
00:25:33So what are you saying?
00:25:36Capsicum.
00:25:37What are you saying? What do you want?
00:25:39I want to kill him and to fuck him.
00:25:42To kill him.
00:25:44To fuck him.
00:25:48When you're ready.
00:25:49Where are we going from?
00:25:51We'll go from your cue, yeah? You stick to the script.
00:25:55Leave me a line.
00:25:57Capsicum.
00:26:00Capsicum.
00:26:03Caps...
00:26:04Use each capsicum as a tactic to get what you want.
00:26:08Allow each capsicum to express, reflect that...
00:26:13desire.
00:26:15Again.
00:26:20Capsicum.
00:26:22Capsicum.
00:26:24Capsicum.
00:26:26Capsicum.
00:26:28There it is.
00:26:29Oh, sorry, I was only up to the, um, you are so good bit.
00:26:33Yep, my bad.
00:26:37Oh, my God, babe.
00:26:41I'm really happy.
00:26:45I'm just really happy. We're so perfect for each other.
00:26:50Oh, my God. How are you?
00:26:54I'm good.
00:26:57Yeah? I knew you'd be better off without him.
00:27:03Have you met someone else?
00:27:10We are just the same.
00:27:12We are just fucking obsessed with Ben.
00:27:15They're amazing. I mean, they're the worst, but...
00:27:20And our chemistry. Oh, my God.
00:27:23We... He made me cum three times this morning.
00:27:28That's never happened to me before.
00:27:30Like, is he really good at sex?
00:27:33Or is our chemistry just really strong?
00:27:35Like, did he get you off like that?
00:27:37He actually never made me cum.
00:27:41Wasn't he your fuck buddy?
00:27:43Yeah.
00:27:45So why were you with a fuck buddy that never got you off?
00:27:49They're hanging out a bit.
00:27:54Oh, what are you two talking about?
00:27:56What a dick you are.
00:27:59Excellent. Continue.
00:28:01So...
00:28:03Charlie told me you never got her off.
00:28:05Uh, not like once in two years.
00:28:09How many times did you get off?
00:28:11Oh...
00:28:15Aren't you ashamed?
00:28:16No. No. No, I am not ashamed.
00:28:19I'm good at getting girls off. You know I'm good at getting girls off.
00:28:22I'm good at it. Pat, I am the king of getting girls off.
00:28:25She's just weird. You're weird.
00:28:27It's true. I am weird. It was my fault.
00:28:29Exactly. It was her fault.
00:28:31How is it your fault?
00:28:32Well...
00:28:35I actually think I'm not that attracted to him.
00:28:40Oh, what?
00:28:43What?
00:28:44Pat, it's because you're too good-looking.
00:28:48That doesn't make any sense, but it is correct.
00:28:51I am too good-looking. You hear that?
00:28:53Seriously, I'm not attracted to attractive guys.
00:28:57Yeah, that actually makes no sense.
00:28:59Well, it's like...
00:29:02I don't know. You're too perfect.
00:29:04There's nothing really human about you.
00:29:06Mm-hmm. I've never...
00:29:09I've never enjoyed anyone saying they're not attracted to me
00:29:12as much as I have right now.
00:29:14Although, Patty, that's never happened before.
00:29:17Am I right? Am I right?
00:29:19Your personality is definitely human, though.
00:29:23That may be an overstatement.
00:29:25All right, let's get back to the nice things here.
00:29:27So you were never actually attracted to him?
00:29:30Not sexually, no.
00:29:33Then why were you with him?
00:29:37I guess I liked his personality.
00:29:40Wow.
00:29:42That's the thing I like about him the least.
00:29:46Here you go.
00:29:48Yeah, all right. OK.
00:29:50I got you off once, though.
00:29:53Mm? Mm?
00:29:55Oh, that is true. Yes.
00:29:57But you broke up with me 20 minutes later.
00:30:01So I don't know if it counts.
00:30:03No, it doesn't count.
00:30:04Wait, hang on. You guys had sex the morning you broke up?
00:30:08Yeah. He left me on a high.
00:30:11Hmm. Hmm. Yeah.
00:30:16What the fuck?
00:30:17What? What? What?
00:30:21We had an agreement.
00:30:23Yeah, but we were still together then.
00:30:27We hadn't broken up yet.
00:30:29Why are you looking at me like that?
00:30:33She was begging for it. She was asking me...
00:30:36Anna, what was I meant to do? I was thinking about you the whole time.
00:30:39I did ask for it,
00:30:41but I had no idea there was anything going on between you guys.
00:30:45I'm sorry.
00:30:48That's OK, babe. You didn't know.
00:30:51So you cheated on me before we were even actually together.
00:30:56That is a new fucking low.
00:30:58That's not... That's not possible. Are you listening to yourself?
00:31:01Oh, my God! Whoa!
00:31:03Whoa! What are you doing?
00:31:05I'm sorry that I got you in trouble.
00:31:08What about everything you said?
00:31:10At the chicken shop.
00:31:12No, that's fine.
00:31:14I forgot that it's possible to get in trouble.
00:31:16Yeah, it was my fault.
00:31:18You're not really allowed to speak to friends during a shift.
00:31:22There's a lot of rules at the chicken shop.
00:31:24Yeah, I guess so.
00:31:28She's an amazing woman.
00:31:30That woman that yelled at you?
00:31:32Yeah.
00:31:34She's, you know, some little girl from Italy coming over here
00:31:38then creating a really, really, really good chicken shop.
00:31:42She's my absolute best friend.
00:31:47That's it! You are done interfering in our life.
00:31:50Tanya, this is silly.
00:31:52Oh, my God! I haven't done anything!
00:32:00God!
00:32:04God!
00:32:34God!
00:33:04God!
00:33:34God!
00:34:04God!
00:34:06God!
00:34:08God!
00:34:10God!
00:34:12God!
00:34:14God!
00:34:16God!
00:34:18God!
00:34:20God!
00:34:22God!
00:34:24God!
00:34:26God!
00:34:28God!
00:34:30God!
00:34:32God!
00:34:34God!
00:34:36God!
00:34:38God!
00:34:40God!
00:34:42God!
00:34:44God!
00:34:46God!
00:34:48God!
00:34:50God!
00:34:52God!
00:34:58Oh, my God, babe.
00:35:00I just love being single.
00:35:02Yeah?
00:35:04Yeah. Like, I don't need a man to give me purpose.
00:35:07I am my purpose.
00:35:09Acting is my purpose, you know?
00:35:11I can just focus on acting and a man is a fucking unnecessary bonus.
00:35:14Wow.
00:35:16Yeah, I've been obsessed with men for most of my life.
00:35:18At one point a woman, but mostly men.
00:35:20And they've controlled, like, all of my major life decisions.
00:35:23Definitely my moods. And for what?
00:35:26I'm single.
00:35:28Yeah.
00:35:30But I feel great.
00:35:34How funny's Pat?
00:35:36Yeah.
00:35:38Yeah. Like, really weird.
00:35:41But cute.
00:35:43Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:45Oh, and he's been so nice taking care of me while Damien's such a dick.
00:35:49Oh, yeah?
00:35:51Mm. That's nice.
00:35:55I mean, he does work in a chicken shop.
00:35:57I feel like he's just never had the right person to encourage him, you know?
00:35:59He just needs someone to believe in him.
00:36:01Oh, yeah.
00:36:03Charlie, I think I have a crush on him.
00:36:05On who?
00:36:07Pat.
00:36:09Pat?
00:36:11Yeah.
00:36:13No, I'm lying.
00:36:15I totally fucking like him.
00:36:27Hi.
00:36:49Hi.
00:36:51Hi.
00:36:53What can I get for you?
00:36:56Probably, um, mash.
00:36:58Would probably be the most vegan.
00:37:00Um, does it have butter in it?
00:37:03Yeah. And milk, I guess.
00:37:08OK, uh...
00:37:10Yeah, one mash, please.
00:37:12That'll be $4.20.
00:37:14Oh.
00:37:26$0.80 change.
00:37:36One mash, please.
00:37:42Uh, are you doing anything later?
00:37:45I'm actually doing yoga with Tanya later on.
00:37:50Ah.
00:37:52That's... That's cool.
00:37:54Yeah.
00:37:56God, she's beautiful.
00:38:02Yeah.
00:38:04Just a really amazing person.
00:38:11Yeah.
00:38:15You know, real special.
00:38:24Order number six!
00:38:27Uh...
00:38:32Thanks.
00:38:44I want to fuck you.
00:38:46Leave me alone.
00:38:48I want to fuck you.
00:38:50More! You're giving us 3%.
00:38:52We want to see 3,000!
00:38:54I want to fuck you.
00:38:57I want to fuck...
00:38:59OK, stop. Please, stop.
00:39:07Charlie, what the fuck are you doing?
00:39:10Um, what you asked me to do.
00:39:12No, I mean, what the fuck are you doing here, Charlie?
00:39:16What is the fucking point of spending
00:39:18however much you're spending on these classes coming here
00:39:21every week, wasting our fucking time,
00:39:24if you can't even convince us that you're a human being?
00:39:27Is there anything even fucking in there?
00:39:30Why are you here, Charlie?
00:39:34Because I love acting.
00:39:37It's what I want to do.
00:39:39Charlie, I've been teaching acting for 20 years.
00:39:42I've worked in some fucking terrible places
00:39:44with some fucking bad actors.
00:39:46But out of all the fucked-up, deluded students
00:39:49I've ever come across, you are by far the fucking worst.
00:39:53I don't think you want to act.
00:39:55No, I think you want to hide
00:39:58for some fucked-up, fucking weird reason.
00:40:01You don't want anyone to see what's in here.
00:40:05Acting is fucking...
00:40:08allowing everything of yourself to be seen.
00:40:13It is absolutely and completely
00:40:16and completely the one thing that I doubt very much
00:40:19you have ever even come close to experiencing
00:40:23in your fucking sapper, mouse-like, fucking boring life.
00:40:27And that is being real.
00:40:30You are not fucking real, Charlie.
00:40:33You're not even a fucking person.
00:40:35You're a fucking mouse.
00:40:37Nobody wants to watch a mouse.
00:40:40People fucking hate mice.
00:40:42People fucking kill mice.
00:40:44People stick fucking test tubes in mice.
00:40:46Now do it again!
00:40:57I want to fuck you.
00:40:58How fucking dare you?
00:41:00How dare you not be real with us?
00:41:02We're being real with you.
00:41:04Damien is being real.
00:41:06Pete is being very fucking real
00:41:08last week in his masturbation scene.
00:41:10You think it's fair?
00:41:11You think it's fair that we reveal everything?
00:41:13We are real with you
00:41:15and you give us this fucking mouse shit?
00:41:18Again!
00:41:21I want to fuck you.
00:41:22No! Fuck! Again!
00:41:25I want to fuck you.
00:41:27Scream it.
00:41:29I want to fuck you.
00:41:30I want to fuck you!
00:41:32I want to fuck you.
00:41:35I want to fuck you.
00:41:37I want to fuck you!
00:41:40I want to fuck you.
00:41:42I want to fuck you.
00:41:50I want to fuck you.
00:41:52I want to fuck you.
00:41:54I want to fuck you.
00:41:58Fuck you!
00:42:04Um, excuse me.
00:42:05Do you know where room 309 is?
00:42:07Yeah, it's just the first one down here on the right.
00:42:13I'm just touching it.
00:42:15So it's painful there?
00:42:16Yeah.
00:42:17And how about on the other side?
00:42:19Okay, so painful there as well?
00:42:21Okay.
00:42:22I'll just have a look at your arm.
00:42:23Just pop your arm down for me.
00:42:24Alright, so the arm's hurting too.
00:42:27Oh, God.
00:42:28That's alright. Try to relax.
00:42:30Okay?
00:42:34Oh my God, Charlie!
00:42:36Are you okay?
00:42:37What happened?
00:42:40I'm in love.
00:42:47What?
00:42:48I mean, I fainted in yoga and I hit my head, but...
00:42:52I'm in love.
00:42:53Tanya, I'm just going to look at your ribs.
00:42:55Okay, alright.
00:42:56So your ribs are painful as well?
00:42:59Okay.
00:43:00That's alright.
00:43:01Just relax a little bit.
00:43:09Who are you?
00:43:10Pat.
00:43:12Pat?
00:43:13Oh my God, Charlie.
00:43:15It's so nice.
00:43:16We talk about everything.
00:43:17We're so crazily connected.
00:43:20Okay, I'm just going to look at your tummy.
00:43:22Alright, okay.
00:43:24So it's pretty much painful everywhere I'm touching you, isn't it?
00:43:28Okay.
00:43:30I'm just going to have a chat to the doctors.
00:43:32Just try to relax for me for a bit, okay?
00:43:40Oh my God, I love you.
00:43:48Are you going to be okay?
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:51I'm not allowed to work out on an empty stomach
00:43:53and do a double yoga and park, but...
00:43:57Yeah.
00:44:02Oh, mate.
00:44:03I have a fucking black belt, okay?
00:44:05Oh, mate.
00:44:06I have a fucking black belt, okay?
00:44:08But...
00:44:09Alright.
00:44:14Oh my God, guys!
00:44:15It's my dad!
00:44:16Turn it up!
00:44:18I hate me as Barbara.
00:44:20Ew!
00:44:21That's why I feed him dog bites.
00:44:23A nutritional blend of bone, vegetable and meat
00:44:26and shows that he gets everything he needs without the nasty smell.
00:44:30Thank you, dog bites.
00:44:32Oh, I look good.
00:44:35I look good.
00:45:36Here, drink that.
00:45:44Tally.
00:47:06What are you doing?
00:47:11Um, just...
00:47:13having some mash.
00:47:17Um...
00:47:19How are you feeling?
00:47:20Are you...
00:47:22feeling better?
00:47:23What's wrong?
00:47:25Um...
00:47:27I'm kind of sad.
00:47:31Is it Damien?
00:47:35No.
00:47:42It's Pat.
00:47:45Pat?
00:47:47I like Pat.
00:47:51Um...
00:47:52I thought he was into me, I thought we had, you know...
00:47:55I thought he was giving me signals, but...
00:47:59I think he's into you now and, um...
00:48:02And you like him, and that's nice, I like...
00:48:05That's really nice, I just...
00:48:07I'm just a bit disappointed, but...
00:48:10Um...
00:48:11I'll get over it.
00:48:12I just...
00:48:14was a bit disappointed, that's all.
00:48:25Um...
00:48:28You should keep resting.
00:48:31Mm-hmm.
00:48:34Yeah.
00:48:44Tanya?
00:48:45Mm-hmm?
00:48:47Where are you going? The nurse said that you have to...
00:48:49To Pat's.
00:48:52Cool.
00:48:55Are you guys gonna...
00:48:57hang out or something?
00:48:58Yeah, hanging out.
00:49:00Maybe we'll fuck a bit?
00:49:30I'm sorry.
00:49:31I'm sorry.
00:49:32I'm sorry.
00:49:33I'm sorry.
00:49:34I'm sorry.
00:49:35I'm sorry.
00:49:36I'm sorry.
00:49:37I'm sorry.
00:49:38I'm sorry.
00:49:39I'm sorry.
00:49:40I'm sorry.
00:49:41I'm sorry.
00:49:42I'm sorry.
00:49:43I'm sorry.
00:49:44I'm sorry.
00:49:45I'm sorry.
00:49:46I'm sorry.
00:49:47I'm sorry.
00:49:48I'm sorry.
00:49:49I'm sorry.
00:49:50I'm sorry.
00:49:51I'm sorry.
00:49:52I'm sorry.
00:49:53I'm sorry.
00:49:54I'm sorry.
00:49:55I'm sorry.
00:49:56I'm sorry.
00:49:57I'm sorry.
00:49:58I'm sorry.
00:49:59I'm sorry.
00:50:19Hey.
00:50:22Hey.
00:50:23Is everything okay?
00:50:25Yes, um...
00:50:27really quickly just in case there's been any kind of miscommunication. I like you
00:50:35and I think our connection is really unique and nice and I'm aware that you
00:50:44know you might be into Tanya but I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I
00:50:49like you. That's it. I might just hide behind this wall here just until you and
00:50:57Tanya go inside just because I didn't tell her I was coming and I find her a
00:51:01bit scary. Cool. Thank you.
00:51:07Hey. That's for being a dickhead to my best friend and the second one is for
00:51:27working at a fucking chicken shop instead of following your dreams and
00:51:30Charlie look Charlie I know I can be self-absorbed I know that everyone knows
00:51:37that I can't fucking help it but even if I could I can't read your mind.
00:51:45Charlie you actually there?
00:51:54I'm sorry Tanya. No don't apologize it's so confusing when you apologize how am I
00:51:59supposed to know I'm being a bitch if you're apologizing all the time and
00:52:02making it seem like it's your fault. I should have told you I almost told you
00:52:07but then you weren't kind of cold and I was embarrassed. Why would you be
00:52:13embarrassed in front of me? I'm always embarrassed in front of you. What? You're
00:52:20so cool and you're always yourself and you don't care what anyone thinks I
00:52:26don't know you're like this cool opposite version of me. I'm not cool I
00:52:31stole your boyfriend what why the fuck would you even want to be friends with
00:52:35me? It wasn't that bad and I didn't want to lose you I love being around you
00:52:45you're so positive and happy. I'm not happy I'm never gonna be happy I put
00:52:52myself before everyone else I know I'm never gonna be happy. Tanya that's not
00:52:59true. Name one time I haven't put myself first. All the time you're always doing
00:53:06things for me you're so generous. Yeah because that's in my nature I'm
00:53:10extremely generous but when have I ever gone against my nature to do something
00:53:13for someone else? Right now I know you like Pat and you could be with him if
00:53:18you wanted to but you're choosing not to for me. What's the first time? You
00:53:26volunteer at soup kitchen. Yeah that is true and it was really hard it straight
00:53:31up to my voice class.
00:53:39It was nice to see you both. You can fuck off mate. No you need to give Charlie an
00:53:44explanation. That's okay you can just text me maybe. No it's easy do you like
00:53:50her or are you just a dickhead? I guess I'm just a dickhead I I didn't mean to
00:54:01lead you on if that's what you thought I'm sorry. That's okay. Bullshit you told
00:54:11her you like her. Oh actually he never said that. Okay well he fucking what do
00:54:19you do? Just a few signals like eye contact and some smiles but I might have
00:54:26misread it. No you definitely didn't misread it you're very good at reading
00:54:29things why do you give her signals? I've just gotta go. Why can't you just answer her?
00:54:33I've gotta go I'm sorry please. Hey there you are.
00:54:39Sorry to interrupt. I made dinner. This is Charlie, this is Tanya, this is Jane.
00:54:53Hey nice to meet you. My wife.
00:54:57Um hey yeah it's really nice to meet you. Pat said so much about you both so.
00:55:10Ah that's funny because you never fucking mentioned you. Oh um I made dinner
00:55:19if you guys. Yeah. Oh um no we actually have to go thanks it was nice to meet
00:55:27you.
00:55:34Hey you gonna say hello to daddy's friends? Yeah. You ready for dinner?
00:55:50We actually really have to go um see you later guys. Oh see ya.
00:56:21you
00:56:28we both play along with everything but how I
00:56:50fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Charlie what's happening here are you
00:57:11feeling anything at all yeah and are you investing that into what you're
00:57:20saying yeah where are you feeling it show me
00:57:32yeah does it feel big yeah and when you open your mouth to speak does it come
00:57:49out
00:57:53no shit shit it uh yeah that's kind of the whole point of acting yeah but
00:58:01why doesn't it come up because there's all these people watching and I don't
00:58:07want them to see it okay I don't know what you think you want to be an actor
00:58:14but okay we can work with that
00:58:20look at Damien
00:58:24do you feel anything yeah what is it
00:58:40well
00:58:45I know that we were never really in love but I always thought what we had was so
00:58:53special because we were always so honest to each other and good to each
00:58:58other and I don't care that you like someone else but I don't understand why
00:59:05you didn't tell me about it just made me feel really stupid and like I'm not cool
00:59:10and chill when really I think I am pretty cool and chill okay I I met the
00:59:21character but that's great so tell him all that again with fuck you
00:59:30fuck you come on he didn't take you seriously fuck you he didn't treat you
00:59:38like you were cool and chill show him you are cool you are chill fuck you okay
00:59:46leave me alone fuck you here it is now we must get to work we must do something
00:59:55or I will not be able to ensure it fuck you leave me alone I want to fuck you I
01:00:01want to fuck you now the line from the script
01:00:09shit I can't remember stay in it stay in it don't lose it give it up why do you
01:00:16want to frighten us give it up why do you want to frighten us give it up uncle
01:00:24Vanya my misfortune is perhaps give it up uncle Vanya my misfortune is perhaps
01:00:30even greater than yours yet I am NOT plunged in despair I endure my sorrow
01:00:36uncle Vanya and I shall continue to endure it until the day my life comes to
01:00:41a natural end and you must endure it yours you must endure your sorrow uncle
01:00:48Vanya you must endure it
01:04:37he's married with a baby because now you are going to have to either do the one
01:04:44thing that you can absolutely depend upon to stop you from killing yourself
01:04:51or you'll have to kill yourself both of those options are better than seeking
01:04:59validation from any fucking Damien it's um it's not Damien Damien doesn't have a
01:05:07kid the one thing that no one can take away from you the one thing that is
01:05:15yours regardless of any other people
01:05:22you're going to have to act Charlie
01:05:29I'm miserable as fuck I'm poor I live at home with my dying mother half my
01:05:38friends are dead I'm lonely and I have to teach you bunch of and all you want
01:05:50is fame and validation I occasionally I get to act so I don't kill myself
01:06:04you
01:06:27thank you no worries so that one coming
01:06:34you
01:07:04you
01:07:06you
01:07:25what Jim yeah like like like Jim for James or Jim for
01:07:34no I didn't listen to him oh my god oh my god it's the fucking chicken shop I
01:07:53know this a boy a boy where you go where you go
01:08:07because you boy boy come back she told you don't even know fucking name what
01:08:14was that miss tell him come back we can't really hear you can you scream
01:08:21louder hey boy me talking talking to me not you you this boy I'm back inside
01:08:30would I like chicken I guess yes I will and some chips I fire him
01:08:51you
01:09:21you
01:09:51you
01:10:21you
01:10:51you

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