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00:00I want to talk to you today about building yourself up
00:04it's good to have people that cheer us on and speak faith into our life a
00:09Spouse that compliments us a neighbor with an uplifting word a friend that's always there to encourage
00:16It's healthy when you have people that make you feel valued and appreciated
00:21But it becomes unhealthy if you start depending on them to keep you cheered up
00:27They don't compliment you you don't feel good about who you are if they're not there to encourage you you don't have the passion
00:34That co-worker doesn't tell you you did good on your project. You're down thinking you're not enough
00:41We can become addicted to approval and addicted to compliments to where we base our value our worth
00:48On what people are telling us kind of like a drug. We need them to feel good about who we are
00:55But God didn't create you to be dependent on someone else to keep you fixed
01:00He uses people in those ways, but at some point he's going to pull them back
01:06He's not going to let them keep giving you that otherwise you would get stuck
01:11The problem with relying on people is people can let you down
01:16People can be busy and they're not there when you need them people have their own issues raising their children
01:23Struggling with their marriage if you're counting on them to call you each morning and prop you up
01:29Tell you how good you look at work and encourage it in every difficulty
01:34That's a codependent relationship. You need them to feel good about who you are
01:39Here's the key if nobody is complimenting you you need to learn to compliment yourself
01:46If nobody told you that you look good today, why don't you look in the mirror and say wow you look good?
01:52You're a masterpiece one-of-a-kind a prized possession
01:57Nobody made you feel special
01:59Your friend didn't call that neighbor didn't come over good news. You can make yourself feel special
02:05I am a child of the Most High I've been hand-picked by the creator of the universe
02:11I have royal blood flowing through my veins
02:14Quit putting how you feel about yourself your mood your value in someone else's hands
02:21The scripture says build yourself up
02:24Don't rely on other people to affirm to approve to validate
02:29Approve yourself. I'm made in the image of Almighty God. I'm approved. I'm worthy. I'm valuable
02:38When you're trying to get your approval and your validation from other people you're at their mercy
02:44They're having a bad day. They're upset mad at their spouse
02:48You're not going to get what you were hoping for
02:50But when you learn to build yourself up what they give or don't give doesn't affect you
02:57You're already built up. You already know who you are
03:00You don't need other people to keep you fixed. You encourage yourself. You complimented yourself. You approved yourself
03:08It's just a powerful way to live
03:11Nobody else is controlling your mood your self-worth. You've taken control
03:16Every morning before you leave the house, you need to build yourself up
03:21Don't go out hoping to get encouraged hoping someone makes you feel good. Maybe my friend will cheer you up
03:28Maybe my co-worker will compliment me make me feel valuable
03:33They don't control your value
03:35Don't give them that power
03:37If you're trying to get those things from people you're gonna live on a rollercoaster
03:42One day people will love you and next day they're talking behind your back
03:47One day your friend is full of compliments the next day. They're full of a lot of other stuff
03:52One day your spouse is so encouraging uplifting the next day. She's dealing with PMS
03:58That means pretty mean sister
04:01She's telling you everything you're not you're just lucky to have her just agree or there'll be World War three
04:08When you build yourself up you're not moved by the negative chatter
04:13You're not bitter over who didn't give you credit. You're not frustrated because people didn't approve you. You've already approved yourself
04:22Nobody said anything good about all your hard work. That's okay. You already complimented yourself
04:28Nobody clapped for your excellent presentation the ones that should have been so encouraging
04:34Happy for you, they got jealous they found fault. That's all right. You already clapped for yourself
04:40They didn't celebrate you but you celebrated yourself father. Thank you for helping me to shine
04:46Thank you for my gifts my talents causing me to excel
04:51You're not dependent on what others do to feel good about who you are
04:56Every time I walk off this platform and finish another message. I said Joel that was good today
05:04You did excellent, and I don't mean that arrogantly, but I've learned to celebrate myself
05:09May not have been as good as what someone else could do
05:12There are ministers more skilled more experience, but I did to the best of my ability
05:18It's healthy to clap for yourself to celebrate what you've done
05:23You're not bragging on you. You're bragging on the gifts the talents the abilities that God has given you
05:30But some people no matter what they do, it's never enough
05:34There's always a nagging voice telling them they should have done better. They live with this inner critic
05:40That's constantly putting them down
05:43pointing out their faults
05:45Magnifying the negative you gave a good message Joel, but it's kind of slow at times
05:51You worked out four times this week. You really should have done five. Yeah, you look alright today, but not like you used to look
05:58Do yourself a favor tune out that inner critic you have enough people on the outside trying to push you down
06:06Limit your potential lessen your value. You don't need one on the inside
06:12Nobody should be more for you than you
06:16That's not being selfish. That's being responsible with the gift. God has given you learn to celebrate yourself
06:24You clap for others when was the last time you clap for yourself
06:29You compliment your friends. When was the last time you complimented yourself you brag on your co-worker?
06:35That was excellent. You did great. When was the last time you bragged on you? You told yourself you did great
06:43It's healthy to clap for you the more you applaud yourself
06:47The less dependent you are on other people's applause if you approve yourself
06:53You're not going to be needy for other people's approval if you're free with your compliments to yourself
07:00Then you won't be insecure
07:02Trying to play up to people to win their compliments get them to validate you tell you that you're good
07:08You won't need that you've already built yourself up with who God says you are
07:13You already know you're valuable you're worthy you're talented attractive you're exceptional
07:20And yes, it's nice when people reaffirm that but you're not dependent on it to feel good about who you are
07:27You know who you are
07:29one time I was
07:31Talking to a man after the service and he was very nice
07:35But he said Joel I just didn't understand that point that you made in your message didn't make sense to me
07:42If I would have heard that in the first couple of years I'd been ministering I'd been depressed for two months
07:48Gone home defeated feeling inadequate
07:51But I've learned what I'm telling you. I didn't need his applause. I had already clapped for myself
07:57I wasn't basing my joy my worth my confidence on what he did or didn't give me
08:04I had already built myself up
08:06Yes, I'm always open for suggestions
08:09There are things I can do better, but you're never going to please everyone
08:14No matter how good you do. Someone's gonna find Paul
08:17Try to discredit not give their approval. I love what Jesus said your approval or
08:24Disapproval means nothing to me
08:27He wasn't being disrespectful. He was simply saying I know who I am and I know where I get my value
08:34That's the place we need to get to
08:37We don't have to have people's approval to feel good about who we are
08:42Sure, there will be those that disapproves that doesn't faze us. We don't get defensive and try to straighten them out
08:49We don't get discouraged and go around feeling less than we keep our shoulders back. We know who we are
08:56They didn't approve us, but we've approved ourselves
08:59They didn't compliment us, but we complimented ourselves
09:03Nobody clapped for us. They didn't change that. They didn't change our worth we clap for ourselves
09:10When that man told me that he didn't understand my point I thought to myself
09:14I didn't say it, but I thought I can't help it if there's something wrong with you. I
09:20Didn't take it personally. I didn't let it ruin my day when you're built up on the inside
09:26That's going to protect you from what comes on the outside
09:30The first thing I do every morning after I thank God for what he's done is I remind myself who I am
09:38Lord, I thank you that you chose me before I could choose you that I am a person of destiny
09:44Redeemed and forgiven you've made me worthy. You've approved me. You've accepted me
09:50You've crowned me with your favor
09:53You put a robe of righteousness on me you planned out all of my days for good I
09:59Never leave the house without building myself up that way
10:03I'm not waiting for someone else to build me up hoping that my spouse says something to cheer me up
10:09Hoping that my co-worker claps for me. So I'll feel valuable
10:13Hoping my friend compliments me. So I'll be secure
10:17Now quit depending on people that's no way to live that's putting your self-worth
10:23Your mood into their hands put it in God's hands go to him to get your value your approval
10:30See the scripture says out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water
10:36We're looking to others to keep us filled up. Keep me encouraged. Keep me secure. Keep me feeling valuable
10:44Here's the key
10:45Nobody can give you everything you need
10:48Nobody can keep you fixed your spouse your friends your boss
10:53They can love you more than anything be totally for you, but only God can give you what you need
11:00He'll use people but people are limited if you're depending on a person
11:06It's not only gonna frustrate you but it's a lot of pressure on them
11:10When they take that weight of thinking I got a call
11:14Encourage and be there and cheer up and approve and I can't let them down
11:20That's a load. They can't carry
11:22You're trying to get from them what only God can give the sooner you start building yourself up
11:29The better off it's going to be for you and the others in your life
11:33You weren't created to live relying on someone else
11:37Basing your worth on who approves you approve yourself
11:41Turn off that inner critic that's always putting you down
11:45You're supposed to feel good about who you are. I know you have flaws
11:50Areas you need to improve in so do I but you don't have to wait till you're perfect to feel worthy and to feel approved
11:58in the book of Genesis
12:00The earth was without form and void and God said let there be light and light came and God
12:07Saw the light and said that was good
12:10He stopped and clapped for himself. I did good
12:14What's interesting is there were no planets. No oceans. No animals. No people. He wasn't finished
12:21There were still a lot of things that needed to be done, but he didn't wait till it was all complete
12:27He celebrated along the way
12:30On the second day God separated the waters from the sky
12:34He still hadn't made any fish still no mountain ranges still no sunsets
12:39But at the end of the day God said that was good
12:43He stopped and applauded complimented himself same thing after day three day four day five
12:50Even though it wasn't finished. He said it was good
12:53The truth is none of us are finished products, but God is still working on us
12:59Even though we have things we need to improve in you shouldn't feel unworthy
13:04Go around down on yourself
13:07Trying to get people to approve you God has already approved you. He's already accepted you
13:14Why don't you start believing that you're worthy that you're valuable?
13:18Have you ever clapped for yourself?
13:21Are you too focused on your weaknesses how you don't measure up and you're not as talented as that co-worker?
13:28The enemy would love for you to feel unworthy when in fact you're a masterpiece
13:34The creator of the universe applauded for you
13:37Why are you depending on people to tell you that you're good? You're talented. You're attractive
13:43You're trying to get from them what God has already given you
13:48Why don't you start building yourself up declaring who God says you are?
13:53If you're relying on this from people it's going to limit you
13:57If you're basing your joy your attitude your self-worth on who compliments you and who claps for you and who thinks you're attractive
14:06Can I tell you you don't need their applause?
14:09You can clap for yourself
14:11You don't need their compliments. You can compliment yourself out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water
14:19Some people that river is stopped up
14:23They've lived their whole life
14:25Trying to gain their approval and earn their value and convince people to clap for them. They live frustrated
14:33Letting people manipulate them down on themselves because they're not getting the applause
14:38Today can be a turning point
14:41Quit looking to people and start looking to God
14:44Nobody is complimenting you learn to compliment yourself
14:48Nobody buying you flowers buy yourself some flowers. Nobody taking you to dinner. Take yourself to dinner. I
14:56Know a young woman when she was in junior high. She didn't have a lot of friends
15:01She just moved to a new school and most of the students had grown up together and been friends for years
15:08She couldn't seem to break in and connect with anyone
15:11During Valentine's Week the school had a tradition where you could send another student a carnation
15:18They were just 25 cents. They would be delivered during homeroom on Valentine's Day in front of the whole class
15:26She knew she wasn't going to receive any because she didn't know anybody
15:29She was dreading that day. No, and she's gonna feel left out and embarrassed by it all
15:35Then she came up with an idea. She decided to send herself some flowers
15:40She took $5 and went down to the office got 20 different forms
15:45So nobody would know it was the same person on Valentine's Day
15:50Most of the girls got four or five carnations a real popular girl got seven
15:55But this young lady had every other carnation delivered to her people were thinking who is this girl?
16:02She has so many friends. They asked who's this one from?
16:06She smiled and said from someone that really thinks I'm special
16:11You celebrate others. Do you ever celebrate yourself?
16:15You're good to your friends. You encourage them you build them up. Do you ever build yourself up?
16:22It's not selfish to be good to you
16:25The more you applaud yourself the less dependent you are on other people's applause and the more secure
16:32You're going to be I
16:34Have a pastor friend in another state that used to call me every Sunday afternoon
16:40He would speak at his two services in the morning then come home and watch the replay of my message online
16:48He's always so encouraging and uplifting
16:51He would tell me how good I did how impactful it was man
16:56I really like this point on and on you think I was the greatest pastor ever that was his personality
17:01His whole nature was to build people up
17:04But he told me later he would drive home every Sunday from his church
17:10Thinking about how he didn't do good. That was too long. That wasn't clear. I forgot to say this
17:17He said I never left my church one time feeling good about myself. I always went home disappointed
17:25He knew how to compliment others, but he didn't know how to compliment himself
17:30He clapped for me all the time
17:32He was my biggest cheerleader, but he never clapped for himself
17:37He was great at building me up making me feel valuable well able, but he never built himself up
17:44He listened to that inner critic always finding fault pushing him down
17:49Don't go your whole life being good to others, but never being good to you
17:55Encouraging them, but not encouraging you
17:58Thinking highly of your friends, but not thinking highly of you
18:02And yes, it's good to applause others, but you have to learn to clap for yourself
18:07They may be more successful have more talent more looks, but you have something they don't have you are unique
18:15You are one of a kind
18:17Don't discount who you are God didn't make anything second-class
18:22Subpar he calls you a masterpiece
18:26When he created the solar system, he said that was good
18:30The mountain range is good the oceans good, but when he breathed life into you
18:36He said that was very good
18:39Put your shoulders back
18:41Hold your head up high when you clap for yourself
18:44You're clapping for your creator when you compliment yourself
18:48You're complimenting the God who made you when you build yourself up you're saying God
18:54I thank you for who I am blessed strong
18:58Talented worthy victorious that's giving praise to God
19:04Several years later. I was with this same pastor friend
19:07And I just finished an interview on a national network
19:11And it was live a real big deal and he came along with me
19:15We got in the car afterwards and it was me and Victoria him and one other close friend
19:20I looked at them and said wow y'all I did really good. I don't think I could have done any better. I
19:27Wasn't bragging. I was just grateful that I'd done. Well, I didn't think anything about saying that
19:32He told me later that moment changed his life
19:36He had never once said to himself that he had done good
19:41He'd grown up with that negative recording playing in his mind when he heard me being positive toward myself a
19:49Stronghold was broken in his thinking he started applauding himself
19:54approving himself
19:56encouraging himself
19:58You have enough people in life against you. Don't be against yourself. You need to be for you
20:05You won't reach your destiny letting that inner critic always put you down that causes you to feel inferior
20:13Insecure where you're trying to get approval and applause from those around you depending on them to keep you fixed
20:21You can fix yourself
20:23Every morning remind yourself who God says you are don't rely on other people build yourself up
20:31When I first started ministering I was very insecure and
20:36Intimidated I've been behind the scenes for many years. I liked it there
20:41I was comfortable but now is out in front of people. I was very unsure of myself
20:46And I lived off of people's compliments after the service people would tell me Joel that was so good today
20:53I really enjoyed it
20:55Those words helped give me the strength the confidence to keep going
21:00When I get up to minister that first year people would cheer and cheer
21:05They were so loyal to my parents. They wanted me to succeed so badly
21:11That they poured all their encouragement and support into me
21:14I could have talked about Moses defeating Goliath and David parting the Red Sea got it backwards. They still would have cheer
21:22God knew that I needed that external applause that outside
21:28Validation and approval to keep moving forward
21:31God will make sure that you have what you need every stage of your journey
21:37Yes, there are times you need others speaking into your life
21:40Encouraging you helping you to stay built up
21:43But at some point God is going to remove that so it doesn't become a crutch
21:49To where you rely on others to keep you encouraged you depend on your friends to keep you cheered up
21:56Your family to keep you feeling valuable
21:59That's temporary provision
22:01Like a mother weans a baby off the bottle God is going to wean you off the external approval
22:08the external applause
22:10You have to learn to get that from the inside out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water
22:17Instead of depending on others you become
22:21Self-sufficient, that's what Paul said in Philippians. I am self-sufficient in Christ sufficiency
22:27When you go to God, you're not dependent on others in the first few years
22:33Every time I finished my message and walked off the platform
22:37Victoria would say Joel that was amazing today. You did so good
22:42She would always compliment me and make me feel so encouraged and I look forward to it
22:48I knew like clockwork Victoria will have this kind
22:52uplifting word I
22:53Didn't realize that's where I was getting my validation my approval from people telling me I did good
23:01one day I walked off the platform and
23:04Victoria didn't say a word. I
23:07Waited and waited and waited. She started asking me about something else
23:12Answered real quickly then kind of hinted about the message trying to pull a compliment out
23:19Unfortunately, she didn't get the hint. She turned and went the other way
23:22Not at all. Maybe she just preoccupied has something else on her mind
23:26I went to the lobby the old church shook hands with several hundred visitors
23:31Not one of them said anything about my message
23:35Usually every other one just being courteous. Oh, that was so good
23:40The funny thing is I knew it was a good message
23:43I was confident, but I was waiting for someone else to tell me I needed outside approval to feel good about it
23:51I left the church that day feeling so discouraged. I got home our dog can hear the garage door going up
23:59She's always at the back door
24:01Jumping up on me so happy to see me. That's one thing I can count on
24:05I opened the door and the dog was over laying in her bed
24:10She didn't even get up
24:12She turned her head to look at me for like two seconds didn't turn to look away like she is saying. Oh, it's just you
24:20Rolled over and went back to sleep
24:22God will use your dog to work on you
24:26What was happening?
24:27God was weaning me off having to have compliments and approval and validation from the outside
24:35Yes, there may be seasons where you're getting that but don't be surprised if God pulls it back
24:42You can't reach your highest potential
24:45Depending on others. It's great when people compliment you, but it's even more powerful when you can compliment yourself
24:53It's nice when they applaud they approve they validate the problem is you can't depend on people
25:00If they're keeping you fixed, that's temporary
25:03God didn't create you to have to rely on someone else for your self-worth your approval or even your encouragement
25:11I love to encourage but at some point you have to learn to encourage yourself
25:17Can't find me on television. Your cousin's not there your neighbor that you can always count on. It's not available
25:24Take it as a compliment. God is growing you up
25:27He's getting you ready for higher levels the less you depend on other people the much more mature you are
25:35My challenge today start building yourself up
25:39Nobody's clapping for you start clapping for yourself. No one is approving you approve yourself
25:46You don't have to go to people go to your heavenly father the God who created you if you'll do this
25:52I believe and declare
25:54Chains of insecurity
25:56Low self-esteem
25:58Unworthiness are being broken right now. God is breathing strength
26:03Value freedom healing you're about to rise higher
26:07Accomplish dreams and reach new levels of your destiny in Jesus name
26:13And if you receive it, can you say amen?
26:18Amen I receive it as well. Let's pray together if you have five minutes if you can stick with me Lord
26:23Thank you for what?
26:24We've heard I know it falls on great ground faithful people here at Lakewood Lord
26:29So many came out today in person to honor you listening and watching
26:33Lord let this seed take root in our heart
26:36Help us go out and go help us to go out today knowing who we are
26:41Not living for approval, but Lord getting that from you
26:45I think that we're growing Lord that we're coming up higher and Lord that you can entrust us with greater levels of our
26:52Destiny and I just speak your blessings over everyone under the sound of my voice as I prayed today
26:58I think that strongholds have been broken in our mind that have been
27:03Limiting us and holding us back and Lord that we will
27:06Rise up and see your goodness in new ways
27:09I just speak your protection over them as well and their children their families as they go about their week in Jesus name
27:17With their heads bowed in prayer a quick question if your heart stopped beating in the next few minutes. Are you at peace with God?
27:26Do you know where you'd spend eternity if you died a little while from now if not, I would love to pray with you
27:34I'm not here to condemn anybody. I'm here to help you find a new beginning
27:40I know this comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
27:45In just a moment if you're not at peace with the Lord or maybe you are a Christian
27:51But you've grown cold toward God
27:53You know, you need to rededicate your life. You need a fresh new start if that's you in just a moment
28:00I'm gonna ask you to take a step of faith and stand right where you are and we'll pray together. I
28:07Can't think of a better time to get on the road to victory than right now
28:12God is not mad at you
28:15Your sins have already been forgiven. All you have to do is accept the free gift of Christ's salvation
28:22Will you do it today?
28:24The enemy will whisper in your thoughts do it next week. Do it another time
28:29Listen to what the Bible says today is the day of salvation
28:34You're not hearing this by accident
28:36It's always embarrassing to stand in front of everyone that people at the house
28:40I can't lift my hand listen to what Jesus said if you won't be ashamed of me before people
28:47Then I won't be ashamed of you before my father in heaven
28:52I'm gonna give you a great opportunity to show God that you're not ashamed of him
28:57If you're not at peace with the Lord or you just need to rededicate your life to Christ
29:02You need a fresh new start a new beginning if that's you would you be bold take that step of faith and
29:09Stand right where you are and we'll pray together. Would you do that? Come on Lakewood?
29:14Let's give them a hand as they stand all over the building
29:22Come on don't put it off I
29:25Feel like there'll be others your heart's beating fast. That's God drawing you anybody else
29:30Watching listening up top
29:34Well, God bless you, please remain standing if you don't mind and let me tell you how proud we are of you more importantly
29:41I know the angels are rejoicing in the heavens. God's never going to be ashamed of you because you took this step of faith
29:48The scripture says that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved
29:53Let me help you to call do you mind all praying this with me if you would Lord Jesus
30:00Repent of my sins
30:02Come into my heart. I
30:05Make you my Lord and Savior
30:09Amen remain standing one moment, but let me tell you how much we love you
30:12We're gonna be praying for you
30:14I also want to give you a personal invitation and a challenge to come back and be with us on a regular basis
30:21We ask new believers. Give us the next year of your life
30:25Just like you go to work make it a priority you're gonna be here for the next year every time you can
30:30I'll make a promise your life will never be the same for the better
30:35We're gonna help you grow and become all God's created you to be once you come get plugged in
30:40There's a lot of great teams prayer partners choir
30:44Greeters a lot of areas you can get up get in part of the team. I said it earlier. You're busy
30:48You know, it's your day off
30:50But you know your life goes better when you put God first place you honor him get into a community of faith
30:56They love to have you here. Hey after the service right over here
30:59There's a room called New Beginnings if you need anything stop by hope you'll stop by and see me whenever you can
31:05Great classes after service know this the moment you stood up God washed away all your sins your mistakes your failures
31:13You are starting with the fresh clean slate
31:17Got it down in your Bible August the 18th
31:202024 a new day of victory in your life in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Well, let's all stand together if you would please
31:29Thanks for coming out today. How many of you going home better off than you were before? Amen
31:34All right. Let me speak a blessing
31:36Until we meet again
31:38May the Lord bless you and keep you
31:40May the Lord show you his favor and have what and watch and have mercy on you and may the Lord watch over you and
31:47Give you his peace. God bless you. We love you very much. Have a great week. We'll see you back real soon