The Crow Is A Worse Movie Than We Could Have Imagined

  • 2 months ago
First reactions to Rupert Sanders' bloody new adaptation of "The Crow" are rolling in, and it doesn't seem like the remake is going to take flight.
Transcript
00:00First reactions to Rupert Sanders' bloody new adaptation of The Crow were rolling in,
00:04and it doesn't seem like the remake is going to take flight. As of the making of this video,
00:07it has an abysmal 19% Rotten Tomatoes Critics score, which is not entirely unexpected for a
00:12movie that was controversial before it was ever even made. The root of The Crow remake's skepticism
00:17harkens back to the original film's tragic production, during which rising star Brandon
00:21Lee was killed in a gun-related accident that fueled speculation of a curse on the film.
00:26Superstition aside, fans of Lee, and of the original film, have been vocal for years about
00:30their disinterest in another The Crow adaptation, even as multiple sequels have been released to
00:35little fanfare. Sanders' version has been years in the making, as several filmmakers have been
00:39unsuccessful in their attempts to re-adapt James O'Barr's comic book series origin story over the
00:43past two decades. Of course, critics seeing the film must attempt to cordon off all that baggage
00:48to review the 2024 version of The Crow on its own merits. Unfortunately, it sounds like the film
00:53might fail by that standard, too. Slash Films' own Whitney Seibold isn't pulling any punches with
00:57his review of the film, which he calls dull, lifeless, and meaningless. He's not alone in
01:02that assessment. On X, Bloody Disgusting's Megan Navarro wrote,
01:05"...just bonded with a complete stranger at my screening of The Crow over how empty and
01:09soulless it is. Didn't even see his face in the dark. We just instantly commiserated over the hot
01:13mess that was this movie as soon as the credits hit." Words like soulless, lifeless, and empty
01:18come up more than once in this initial wave of reviews, with Libby Scott even calling Sanders
01:22a master of empty allure in her Inverse write-up. Scott added,
01:25"...it's almost ironic how such a soulful concept can be damned by a lack of material."
01:29Critics also cite an unexpected issue with The Crow. It apparently doesn't make sense.
01:34Seibold writes that the movie lacks clarity, explaining,
01:36"...thanks to sloppy editing and a general lack of basic storytelling acumen,
01:40events speed past without much explanation, emotional resonance, or in some scenes,
01:44basic communication." Over at The Wrap, William Bibbiani says something similar, writing,
01:48"...this new remake takes the simplest story in the world and makes its plot and the mythology
01:52weirdly complicated, to the point that it all becomes total nonsense. It's got perplexing
01:56rules and a vague chronology, and nothing seems like it matters anymore."
01:59Pacing issues are also mentioned frequently in these and similar reviews. The film apparently
02:04takes its sweet time getting to the resurrection story comic fans know and love, instead spending
02:08time, as Rolling Stone's David Feer writes, focusing on, quote, "...a cross between a faux
02:13erotic perfume commercial and outtakes from a failed young adult series."
02:16If you're still itching to go see The Crow, don't despair yet. Despite its apparent problems,
02:21the film has its fans. Critic and writer Reina Cervantes notes on Axe that she
02:25absolutely loved the film, describing it as,
02:27"...a modern gothic romance that plays like Twilight for scumbags."
02:31Complimentary. Critics who did seem to like the film tend to bring up its performances,
02:35as well as the strong love story angle the remake takes. Both lead actors are getting
02:38some praise in reviews so far, with Rolling Stone singling out Bill SkarsgÄrd, writing,
02:43"...SkarsgÄrd can do live-action hero and skin-crawling nightmare fodder with
02:46equal amounts of ease."
02:48"...I'm gonna kill them. Every single one of them."
02:51The film's violence is mentioned in most early reviews, though whether or not the
02:54gore-soaked movie is made better by it seems to be for each audience member to decide.
02:58At Mashable, Christy Puchko calls it,
03:00"...an ultra-violent spectacle that is at times hard to stomach, much less watch."
03:04And Dennis Harvey of Variety writes,
03:06"...even when the violence is very hard-R, there's little sense of lurid pulp jollies being had.
03:11It's satisfying enough, but has a semi-detached effect."
03:14Initial critical responses to The Crow may be largely negative, but it's clear from the
03:18positive ones that the film has enough going on to attract some audience members while
03:22repelling others. In other words, it already sounds like it has the makings of a cult favorite.