WeAreZombies.2023.HDRip
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00:00:30♪♪
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00:01:20♪♪
00:01:25Great, thank you very much.
00:01:28What the hell, dude?
00:01:30Spare change.
00:01:32Hey, you saw what happened.
00:01:34Can I get another milkshake?
00:01:36Fuck you.
00:01:38♪♪
00:01:48Skeleton army has betrayed you.
00:01:51They now dance to your agony as you burn to ashes.
00:01:54You are dead.
00:01:56What the?
00:01:57That's harsh.
00:01:58You want to know what's harsh?
00:02:00Okay, this dead meat asking me for money
00:02:02with gold teeth in his mouth.
00:02:04Unbelievable.
00:02:07Wait, take this, take this.
00:02:09Watch it, Freddy.
00:02:11This is a limited floral cover edition.
00:02:16He doesn't care.
00:02:18♪♪
00:02:23Oh.
00:02:24Oh.
00:02:25Oh.
00:02:26Oh.
00:02:31Don't put that in your mouth, Freddy.
00:02:33Why not?
00:02:34What are you, a zomophobe now?
00:02:35Stop doing this, okay?
00:02:37You're going to get us in trouble.
00:02:38Survival of the strongest.
00:02:40Survival of the fittest.
00:02:41Whatever, dude, okay?
00:02:42He doesn't need it.
00:02:43I do.
00:02:44You need nasty gold teeth.
00:02:45No, I need cash, okay?
00:02:48Besides, what do zombies need money for anyway?
00:02:50I guess earning money is all they ever did
00:02:52when they were alive.
00:02:55What a bunch of losers.
00:02:57Oh, time to work.
00:03:04Hey, Maggie.
00:03:06Hey, shit face.
00:03:08I got another pickup for you,
00:03:09and don't fuck it up this time.
00:03:11Don't fuck up this, no,
00:03:12we're not going to fuck up this time.
00:03:14Here's the info, Maggie.
00:03:15♪♪
00:03:30Ladies and gentlemen, the dead are back.
00:03:36There's no flesh-eating behavior,
00:03:38nor hunger for brain.
00:03:40They're just here.
00:03:43And that's the real disaster, isn't it?
00:03:46So you're saying we have to relearn our behaviors
00:03:49towards the living dead?
00:03:50The less offensive term would be living impaired.
00:03:55What do you think, folks?
00:03:58I lost my job.
00:04:00They don't sleep.
00:04:01How the fuck can we compete with these damn zombies?
00:04:06Population has dramatically grown by 175%
00:04:09within the last six months.
00:04:10It is now illegal for people to dig up their loved ones.
00:04:13Zombies you like to fuck.
00:04:16Protests are rising all over the world
00:04:18as the undead claim equal rights.
00:04:22I'm Brad Thompson for Colman News.
00:04:24Good night, and God bless America.
00:04:27♪♪
00:04:36We're invincible!
00:04:38♪♪
00:04:42-♪♪
00:04:48Mr. McKenna, hi.
00:04:49Colman's Retirement Services for the living impaired.
00:04:52Can you call us?
00:04:53Thank you for coming so promptly.
00:04:55You guys are fast.
00:04:56Yeah.
00:04:58Now, I want you to know that we do love him dearly,
00:05:01and it was a hard decision for us to make.
00:05:04We totally understand, sir.
00:05:05You see, it's my father-in-law,
00:05:07and it's important for my wife
00:05:09that he be treated with dignity.
00:05:12That is our policy.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14My wife is very fragile emotionally,
00:05:16so if you could...
00:05:18Oh, Pop-Pop!
00:05:21What did you do?
00:05:23I swear, if you shot him in the brain, I...
00:05:26That was close.
00:05:32How many times do I need to tell you?
00:05:36No more shooting at Pop-Pop!
00:05:38You said it yourself.
00:05:39Pop-Pop's just a fucking zombie.
00:05:41Kids.
00:05:44No.
00:05:45Pop-Pop is living impaired.
00:05:48And living impaired have rights,
00:05:50so you can't shoot them.
00:05:52Okay?
00:05:53He's just like a...
00:05:55Like a retard, hmm?
00:05:58We don't shoot retards, do we?
00:06:01No, we don't.
00:06:02Listen, sir.
00:06:03I don't know what you're talking about.
00:06:05I don't know what you're talking about.
00:06:09No, we don't.
00:06:10Listen, sir.
00:06:11I don't want to be mean and put pressure on you,
00:06:13but we're on the clock.
00:06:14Yes, I'm sorry.
00:06:15Please proceed with the extraction.
00:06:17All right.
00:06:23Okay.
00:06:28Are you sure this is necessary?
00:06:30They're professionals, honey.
00:06:33I think we got him.
00:06:34Yeah.
00:06:35Careful, guys.
00:06:36That chair's priceless.
00:06:37Yeah.
00:06:38This ugly bastard is stronger than he looks.
00:06:43Ah!
00:06:44Ah!
00:06:45Ah!
00:06:50Totally normal.
00:06:58Hey.
00:06:59Like new.
00:07:00See what we had to deal with every day?
00:07:04Okay.
00:07:05Give me a signature right here.
00:07:07Let's just proceed to payment.
00:07:09Uh, geez.
00:07:12Ah!
00:07:13The car reader.
00:07:14It's messed up again, man.
00:07:16Oh, what the heck is that?
00:07:17That's really weird.
00:07:18I'm so sorry about this, sir.
00:07:20Mind paying cash?
00:07:22Here you go.
00:07:26You did the right choice.
00:07:27Okay, come on.
00:07:29Hey, pleasure doing business with you, dude.
00:07:31I mean, sir.
00:07:33Bye-bye, now.
00:07:35Okay, come on.
00:07:37All right.
00:07:59Hello.
00:08:00Hi.
00:08:01Mr. McKenna.
00:08:02Welcome to Retirement Services for the Living Impaired.
00:08:05I believe your colleagues have already taken...
00:08:08Honey?
00:08:10Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:13Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:16Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:18Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:21Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:24Adam Hart is murder!
00:08:32Carl.
00:08:34My man.
00:08:36Freddy.
00:08:38You're getting depressingly uninspiring.
00:08:41What do you mean?
00:08:42Don't worry about it.
00:08:46What am I supposed to do with this?
00:08:50Come on, Don.
00:08:51It's not that bad.
00:08:52His head is holding on a pogo stick.
00:08:54Exactly.
00:08:55Which makes him, uh...
00:08:57Inspiring.
00:08:59Yeah, like the, uh...
00:09:00The magnificent, head-spinning zombie dude!
00:09:03Whoa!
00:09:05Wow.
00:09:06Oh, see?
00:09:07Art.
00:09:08You wouldn't know art if it bit you on the ass.
00:09:10I'm not going to take this one.
00:09:12Don.
00:09:13Or at least not at full price.
00:09:16He'd have the certificate of termination and everything.
00:09:18He's legit.
00:09:19I mean, he can do whatever you want with him.
00:09:20You know, uh...
00:09:21No one cares.
00:09:24I'll give you half.
00:09:25What?
00:09:26Take it or leave it.
00:09:27That is an insult.
00:09:28There's no deal.
00:09:29Come on, Carl Williams.
00:09:30Fine.
00:09:31You win.
00:09:32Half price.
00:09:33What are you doing?
00:09:34Her broke, remember?
00:09:36Oh, my.
00:09:38You have the softest hands.
00:09:42I moisturize.
00:09:47Oh, hi.
00:09:54I'm Bob Coleman.
00:09:57And for years, we've been studying
00:09:58the most complex structure of the universe.
00:10:03The human brain.
00:10:06Each second, 100 billion neurons
00:10:09are sending 10,000 electrochemical signals,
00:10:13making us behave the way we do.
00:10:17That's why this cute little creature
00:10:21makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
00:10:25At Coleman, we're dedicated to unlocking
00:10:28the secrets of the mind.
00:10:30Help the research.
00:10:31Donate your loved ones
00:10:33through our retirement services
00:10:35for the living impaired.
00:10:44Great.
00:10:47Bye.
00:10:50Your vampire hero stands before Shiva,
00:10:54the last god of evil.
00:10:56And?
00:11:01Shiva, the destroyer, destroys dragons.
00:11:04He's the last god of evil.
00:11:09Shiva, the destroyer, destroys Dracula.
00:11:13Huh.
00:11:14Why don't you just skip to the end?
00:11:15What are you talking about?
00:11:16That'd be cheating.
00:11:17The whole book is cheating.
00:11:19I mean, look at Dracula.
00:11:20He's all thin and handsome.
00:11:22He has to be thin and handsome.
00:11:24No, no, no, no.
00:11:25See, blood is super rich, dude.
00:11:26I mean, he'd be fat.
00:11:27Or at the very least, chubby.
00:11:29Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, listen.
00:11:31Do you think Dracula, the king of the undead,
00:11:34would be fat?
00:11:38That is exactly why
00:11:40I don't hang out with you guys.
00:11:42This and that ugly hat.
00:11:44This?
00:11:45This is a hunter's hat,
00:11:46and I'm hunting, so it's appropriate.
00:11:48Huh.
00:11:49And I thank God every day
00:11:50we didn't come from the same ball sack.
00:11:52Oh, thank you.
00:11:53That's nice.
00:11:54Hey, Maggie.
00:11:55Got you a milkshake.
00:11:57Why?
00:11:58You know I don't drink milk.
00:12:00Well, milk builds strong bones.
00:12:02I'm lactose intolerant, Freddy.
00:12:04I don't mind farts.
00:12:06Farts are natural.
00:12:07Stop!
00:12:08Carl, just hand me my share.
00:12:13Uncle Gary!
00:12:15There's an ear in my fries again!
00:12:17Yeah, I-I told the cook about it,
00:12:19but he couldn't hear me.
00:12:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:12:23Good one!
00:12:24I'm gonna leave you a bad review.
00:12:26This time I'm serious.
00:12:27Carl?
00:12:29Yep.
00:12:31You're short.
00:12:33Oh, yeah, um...
00:12:35Funny story.
00:12:36Don, he paid us half because it was damaged goods,
00:12:39and, uh, that's not her fault, technically, so, uh...
00:12:42Are you pissing down my back and calling it lame?
00:12:47No, we're not into that thing.
00:12:49It's a metaphor, hey, dumbass?
00:12:51Look, can't you just trust me for once?
00:12:53Trust?
00:12:54Yeah.
00:12:55Well, if you're her brother,
00:12:56you know what you're telling the truth.
00:12:58Oh, oh, did you hear that?
00:12:59I even kept it...
00:13:00Hey!
00:13:01You're a lying piece of shit, Carl.
00:13:03You're a lying piece of shit, Carl.
00:13:05You're a lying piece of shit, Carl.
00:13:08Okay, that's a collectible.
00:13:09Maybe we might have beheaded the pickup.
00:13:14Hey, hey, hey, traitor!
00:13:15See, I knew it!
00:13:16No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:17And this is horse shit, okay?
00:13:20We're the ones doing all the hard work
00:13:21while you sit on your fat ass all day and I...
00:13:23Oh, really?
00:13:24Ow! On my knee!
00:13:26Really, can you act in the Coleman system?
00:13:28Any of you?
00:13:29Guess you'd ask Captain Galacticus to do it.
00:13:32No, Captain Galacticus would ask me to do it.
00:13:34Well, then I'm meta, he's the muscle,
00:13:36and you're just a prick getting a free ride.
00:13:40Wait, you're leaving already?
00:13:41Yeah, I've had my dose of cheese dicks for one day.
00:13:44Anyway, I got a date.
00:13:46A date with who?
00:13:48Later.
00:13:49We were supposed to celebrate.
00:13:51Hey, thanks a lot, Junius.
00:13:53For your information,
00:13:55I know exactly what a metamorph is.
00:13:57Meta-for.
00:13:58Meta...
00:13:59Meta-for.
00:14:00Meta-floor.
00:14:01Meta-floor.
00:14:26By all means, finish your cracker.
00:14:32This is one of Coleman's biggest processing plants worldwide.
00:14:36In order for operations to run smoothly
00:14:38and for the company to profit,
00:14:40every employee must follow the chain of command
00:14:43with integrity, excellence, dedication, and initiative.
00:14:48We expect no less from our workers,
00:14:50and we won't hesitate to cut off dead weed
00:14:54in order to allow for stronger growth.
00:14:58That being said, do you know why you're here?
00:15:02We, um...
00:15:04We got our pickup stolen.
00:15:06Not just one pickup, Dave.
00:15:09Oh, uh, actually, it's, uh, it's Stanley.
00:15:12Oh, Stanley.
00:15:14Over the last month,
00:15:16there have been a lot of missing pickups
00:15:20and repeated errors,
00:15:22all coming from your sector.
00:15:28Cracker?
00:15:30Mm-hmm.
00:15:31It's not our fault.
00:15:33We think some jackasses are posing as us, and, uh...
00:15:38They're, um, stealing our pickups right before we get there.
00:15:41Coleman's pickups.
00:15:42Gentlemen, you are currently owing the company $25,000,
00:15:45and we're withholding your last pay
00:15:48until the situation is resolved.
00:15:52Understood?
00:15:54Understood, sir.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:16:15Coming, dear!
00:16:17Good morning, Mrs. Neard.
00:16:19Is, uh, is Carl up?
00:16:21They're going to take me.
00:16:23What? Who?
00:16:24The doctors.
00:16:25They told me I was impaired.
00:16:27Nobody's gonna take you, Mrs. Neard.
00:16:29I'm pretty sure you're not dead yet.
00:16:31Just tell them I won't be leaving my home.
00:16:33Oh, don't worry. I'll tell them.
00:16:35Good.
00:16:37Now, don't just stand there, darling.
00:16:39Come in.
00:16:40Okay, great.
00:16:48Hey, big boy.
00:16:49Hey, you.
00:16:51Hey, big boy.
00:16:52Hey, you.
00:16:54Wanna have boobs for breakfast?
00:16:56Affirmative.
00:16:58That'll be 200 credits, honey.
00:17:04I'm coming, baby.
00:17:06Love the sound of that.
00:17:09What are you trying to do to me?
00:17:11What am I offering you?
00:17:13What are you offering me?
00:17:15Whoa!
00:17:17Whoa!
00:17:18What are you doing to me?
00:17:20What are you doing to me?
00:17:22Whoa!
00:17:23And the crowd goes wild for wild gringos.
00:17:27Whoa!
00:17:28Freddy!
00:17:32What?
00:17:33What do you mean, what? I was busy.
00:17:35Don't look.
00:17:39You were masturbating.
00:17:40Yes, okay? Get out.
00:17:41Okay.
00:17:43Get out!
00:17:44I'll give you a couple minutes. That's...
00:17:46Fuck!
00:17:49Ugh!
00:18:03Ugh!
00:18:06Are you busy, too?
00:18:09Yeah.
00:18:12So, had a fun night?
00:18:15Yeah.
00:18:16It's the best fucking night of my life.
00:18:18Cool.
00:18:19Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
00:18:24So, um...
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:27Maggie, I've been thinking a lot.
00:18:32I just wanted to say that you are so...
00:18:37Oh, hey.
00:18:43You guys ready for a pickup?
00:18:45Yes. Yes. Heck yeah.
00:18:48Uh...
00:18:50Carl's gonna need, like, five minutes.
00:18:53Why?
00:18:56Jeez.
00:18:59Is this really the place?
00:19:02Hey, you're my best friend, Carl.
00:19:05Can I get your honest opinion on something?
00:19:07Sure.
00:19:10Okay, so you want my honest opinion on a rotten finger.
00:19:14No, dude, the ring.
00:19:18It's ugly. Happy?
00:19:21Hey, uh, I'm thinking about proposing to your sister.
00:19:24Half-sister.
00:19:25Wait, wait, wait!
00:19:26Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
00:19:28I feel ready, and I'm pretty sure she is, too.
00:19:31Don't you think you're skipping crucial steps here?
00:19:34You're not even dating.
00:19:36Oh, my God.
00:19:37And that whore thing stinks, man.
00:19:38Well, yeah, that's just the finger.
00:19:40It's the ring stuck to it.
00:19:41If I can get the ring off of the...
00:19:43It says OG on it.
00:19:44Yeah, because she's my original girl.
00:19:45It's a gangster ring.
00:19:47And you know what, man?
00:19:48Dating a co-worker is unethical.
00:19:51Yeah.
00:19:52Especially my sister.
00:19:54Half-sister.
00:19:55Whatever, man.
00:19:56This conversation grosses me out.
00:19:58Maggie doesn't even like you.
00:20:03Freddy, I'm...
00:20:04I'm sorry, man.
00:20:05No, no.
00:20:06No, no, I'm sorry.
00:20:07You're probably right,
00:20:08because masturbating to zilfs on the Internet
00:20:10makes you a relationship expert.
00:20:11Oh, okay.
00:20:12You want to go there?
00:20:13Yeah, I want to go there.
00:20:14Let's do it.
00:20:15Let's go there.
00:20:16Okay, yeah, I want to go there.
00:20:17Let's go there.
00:20:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:20:22Ow!
00:20:29Rise and shine, ladies.
00:20:32What do we have here?
00:20:34Carl Neard.
00:20:38And, uh, Freddy Merckx.
00:20:41Crocodile Hunter's little brother
00:20:43and his, uh, hippo friend.
00:20:45Well, I'll have you know that hippos
00:20:46are actually one of the deadliest animals.
00:20:48Oh, shut up!
00:20:51And by the way, we're no longer friends.
00:20:53Really? You really want to do this now?
00:20:55I'm sorry.
00:20:56Do you guys hear something?
00:20:57Oh.
00:20:58Because I don't hear anything.
00:20:59Freddy, they have guns!
00:21:00Yes, we have guns.
00:21:01Listen to your friend.
00:21:02He's not my friend.
00:21:05Shut up.
00:21:06Shut the hell up!
00:21:09Don't you two idiots want to know why you're here?
00:21:13Well, we're here for a pickup.
00:21:14Yes, I know.
00:21:17I called it in.
00:21:18It was a trap.
00:21:20Jesus.
00:21:21We know you two idiots stole from us the ring.
00:21:24Right, the gangster ring.
00:21:25That's Maggie's ring.
00:21:27She doesn't like you.
00:21:33This isn't working.
00:21:35Rocco, I don't think these guys understand
00:21:37what's going on here.
00:21:38Why don't you show them what we're capable of?
00:21:40No, no, no, no, we understand.
00:21:41It's fine.
00:21:42Rocco, this is not necessary.
00:21:43Please, please, no, no, please.
00:21:55I'm just not quite sure we're supposed
00:21:57to understand from that.
00:21:59Yeah, no, me neither.
00:22:00We should die.
00:22:01Shut up!
00:22:02You don't disrespect the wild gringo.
00:22:06Carl's grandma hits harder than that.
00:22:08Grandma, you say?
00:22:09She sweet?
00:22:10She's the sweetest.
00:22:11Change of plans.
00:22:15Now, tell us again what happened.
00:22:18Listen, I have nothing against the living impaired,
00:22:21but one of those got naked in front of my six-year-old.
00:22:25Oh, come on.
00:22:26He doesn't even have a penis anymore.
00:22:27Well, I'm pretty sure I did see at least one testicle.
00:22:32Now, what do you think?
00:22:34We'll be back after these messages.
00:22:44Fucking slackers.
00:23:02Really, guys?
00:23:05You're pissed drunk, aren't you?
00:23:07It was a trap.
00:23:08What?
00:23:09The pick-up, the pick-up was a trap.
00:23:10Yeah, there's blood.
00:23:11Is this blood?
00:23:12Is this my blood?
00:23:13I don't know.
00:23:14What the hell is that?
00:23:15I don't know.
00:23:16Oh, my God.
00:23:18What if it's a bomb?
00:23:19Okay, what are you guys on?
00:23:21Go on, press play.
00:23:22Are you insane?
00:23:23Look, I'm gonna fall for that.
00:23:24Okay, I'll do it.
00:23:25No, Freddy, no.
00:23:26Come on, guys, it's not funny anymore, so meh.
00:23:29No!
00:23:30No!
00:23:31No!
00:23:32No!
00:23:33No!
00:23:34No!
00:23:35No!
00:23:36Freddy!
00:23:37No!
00:23:38Save me!
00:23:39Throw us a hiatus to survive this, Freddy!
00:23:40You know it!
00:23:41Please!
00:23:42Please!
00:23:43No!
00:23:44We work for Coleman, and we've uncovered your shitty little scheme.
00:23:49Grandma?
00:23:50You've stolen $25,000 worth of living impaired pick-ups.
00:23:55You know what?
00:23:57Make that 50 for our troubles.
00:24:00We want the money back, or sweet old Greg over here goes bye-bye.
00:24:04I told you I will not be leaving my home.
00:24:07You have 24 hours.
00:24:09I'll call you.
00:24:13What kind of cheap, shot, fart knuckle asshole goes for your grandma?
00:24:19Okay, guys, we need a quick job that pays.
00:24:23A lot.
00:24:24Like what?
00:24:25Robbing a bank?
00:24:26Oh!
00:24:27Why don't you ask Stan to help us?
00:24:28No, I'm not interested in that.
00:24:29Yes.
00:24:30Yeah!
00:24:31No, no, no.
00:24:32I'm not sure how I feel about it.
00:24:34Why not?
00:24:35Super connected, and he really likes you, man.
00:24:38Yeah, exactly.
00:24:39I mean, he's very, you know, touchy-touchy-feely kind of guy, and it makes me uncomfortable.
00:24:43I don't like it.
00:24:45That's it?
00:24:46Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?
00:24:48Yeah, you're being super selfish.
00:24:49Oh.
00:24:50Carl, you gotta take one.
00:24:53For Granny.
00:24:56Okay.
00:25:12Jeez.
00:25:15Jeez or jizz?
00:25:17What?
00:25:21Yeah.
00:25:22It's too paced.
00:25:23Don't be so immature.
00:25:24Uh-huh.
00:25:25Carl.
00:25:26I'm glad you called.
00:25:28From what I understood, you're in deep, and it stinks.
00:25:34Ha-ha.
00:25:35Now that is an accurate metamorph, my good sir.
00:25:39Uh, Carl said you might have a job for us.
00:25:43I don't, but the boss does.
00:25:45A high-profile picker.
00:25:48So when do we meet him?
00:25:50You're about to.
00:25:52Ladies and gents, the mad arch of the macabre, the one and only Otto Maddox!
00:26:00Otto Maddox!
00:26:30Oh, so it is art.
00:26:52This is a nice place.
00:26:54Bit dusty, but cozy.
00:26:56Listen up, Granny.
00:26:58Let me make this crystal clear for you.
00:27:00You do what I say.
00:27:01You don't run, you don't scream.
00:27:04It'll all be over in no time.
00:27:06But you try anything funny, and my friend Rocco over here is gonna impair you.
00:27:11Oh, I'm already impaired, dear.
00:27:13But thank you.
00:27:15I think I'm impaired, too.
00:27:17No shit, Sherlock.
00:27:19The Darwin Awards called.
00:27:20They say I have a trophy for you.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:23No, not really, Rocco.
00:27:24Jesus Christ.
00:27:26Look, I have shit to do.
00:27:27You keep an eye out for me, okay, while I'm gone.
00:27:29And stop playing with your gun.
00:27:34God.
00:27:36My doctor said it's important to keep your brain stimulated.
00:27:40So I suppose they have activities scheduled here.
00:27:44Bingo Mondays, social dance Fridays.
00:27:51All right, make yourselves comfortable.
00:27:53I'll be right with you.
00:27:57We'll talk about my finest feeling.
00:28:10For the record, I hate you guys.
00:28:12You're so stuck up.
00:28:14Relax.
00:28:16Whoa.
00:28:17Whoa, dude.
00:28:18Isn't that the girl that you were masturbating to?
00:28:20Shut.
00:28:22No.
00:28:24That's the real one.
00:28:33Oh, my God.
00:28:34The jewels of rot.
00:28:37The blade of death.
00:28:38Even got Rupert.
00:28:42Isn't she marvelous?
00:28:44Yeah.
00:28:45No, you got a 35-millimeter print of the band film Zalverella?
00:28:50Sir, there's like only five copies in the whole world.
00:28:52Yes, and I own all five of them.
00:28:57Welcome.
00:28:59Welcome to my private exhibition.
00:29:04Oh, fuck me.
00:29:08Doc told me you are the best in the hunting business.
00:29:12Really?
00:29:13Yes.
00:29:14Yes, we are.
00:29:16Yes.
00:29:17You know, I really dig your style.
00:29:21Throughout my life, I gathered quite a collection.
00:29:24Though I feel my existence will remain incomplete until I possess this last, but not least, precious piece.
00:29:32I want her at my arm tomorrow night for my big performance.
00:29:37Zalverella.
00:29:38Yes.
00:29:39The queen of the dead.
00:29:41The exquisite Debbie Jones.
00:29:44She's been located in her family plot at the Country Hill Cemetery.
00:29:48You'll find all the boring info in there.
00:29:51So, uh, just another pickup then?
00:29:54Actually, it's a bit more complicated.
00:29:56This cemetery is Coleman's property.
00:30:00You want us to steal from Coleman?
00:30:03Exactly.
00:30:04I do not want my name mixed in some shady business.
00:30:08That's why I'll pay you 25,000 to bring her to me.
00:30:18You know, we were really looking at the Express VIP service here, and it's, uh, it's double.
00:30:24Oh, I'm not here to bargain.
00:30:25This is the job.
00:30:26This is the payment.
00:30:28Well, all true collectors know that Zalverella is worth beyond the Express VIP service.
00:30:34Isn't she?
00:30:39He's very smart.
00:30:41All right, 50,000 it is.
00:30:44Bring me my queen!
00:30:46So let me get this straight.
00:30:48We want to steal from Coleman to repay Coleman for stealing from Coleman.
00:30:53Yep.
00:30:54That is exactly what we're going to do.
00:31:08What?
00:31:09Nothing.
00:31:10No, it's just, you're all glittery.
00:31:16You're pretty.
00:31:18Oh.
00:31:19Uh, thanks, I guess.
00:31:22Yeah, it's super cool having you, you know, with us in the van.
00:31:25Watch out!
00:31:26Have you got a diswish, buddy?
00:31:28You're gonna get us killed, asshole.
00:31:30Just pay attention to the road instead of staring at me.
00:31:35That's really mean, Mackey.
00:31:37Like, have you ever seen an asshole?
00:31:40It's not pretty.
00:31:44I looked at my asshole once.
00:31:47I mean, with a mirror, you know.
00:31:50What?
00:31:51You guys were never curious?
00:31:54Overpopulation.
00:31:56Diseases.
00:31:58Epidemic.
00:32:00The smell alone makes my stomach turn.
00:32:03Sixty million people die each year on a global scale, adding to the living impaired population count.
00:32:09Now, in military terms, we call that an invasion.
00:32:14What do you think is going to happen when they outnumber us?
00:32:18When they turn against us?
00:32:20We need to restore balance.
00:32:22And the only way for that change to occur is to engineer society's perception of the undead.
00:32:28All eyes will be on this event, including pro-living impaired activists.
00:32:33Making the automatics art show a perfect target.
00:32:38Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present Project Zoltan.
00:32:52Dr. West, the floor is yours.
00:32:58No.
00:33:19Mr. Hannity, may I have a word with you?
00:33:29Sit.
00:33:34Sir, I understand the situation a bit. Unstable.
00:33:38But I assure you, the formula's working.
00:33:41And as people say, shit happens.
00:33:44I'll stop you there.
00:33:46This little project of yours is costing me a shitload of money.
00:33:50With all due respect, sir, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
00:33:54And you can't make chicken soup out of chicken shit, can you?
00:33:58This is it.
00:34:00I'm shutting your ass down.
00:34:02You've got great qualities.
00:34:04I'm sure they'll appreciate you at Coleman, Malaysia.
00:34:25Go, go, go. Guys, come on.
00:34:49We're invisible.
00:34:51You guys need to dig fast. I don't know how much time we've got before the next patrol.
00:34:54Maybe you can come out and help us.
00:34:56We only have two shovels, genius.
00:34:58Yeah, no thanks. I'm just gonna keep the engine running, keep an eye on Coleman's security systems.
00:35:02Freddy, for fuck's sakes, tie your goddamn shoelaces.
00:35:05No, I don't tie my shoes.
00:35:06What are you, five?
00:35:07Maggie, it's a way of life.
00:35:08The only time Freddy got knocked out, he was tying his shoe.
00:35:11He sneezed and smashed his face on his own knee.
00:35:13Dude, dude, that was a secret.
00:35:16Four stitches.
00:35:17Guys, I don't care. Just go.
00:35:19Yeah.
00:35:21Okay.
00:35:29We're in.
00:35:31Heavy Jones. Here we come, baby.
00:35:43No way.
00:35:48Coleman, you shady motherfucker.
00:35:52Shit.
00:36:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:05No way.
00:36:07Oh, shit.
00:36:10Guys, guys, guys, guys, we gotta go.
00:36:12Okay, I present to you the queen of the dead, Zelle.
00:36:17Oh, my God.
00:36:19Oh, fuck me.
00:36:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She's all dried up.
00:36:23Yeah, super dry, like extra crispy dry.
00:36:26It's a freaking skeleton.
00:36:27No way Maddox is gonna pay us for this.
00:36:29Let's give her a chance.
00:36:30Maybe she's still somewhere in there.
00:36:32She just needs our help waking up, right?
00:36:34Hear my voice.
00:36:37Arise.
00:36:39Arise.
00:36:42Arise.
00:36:44You broke into pieces.
00:36:46Fucking voices down.
00:36:48What, Maggie?
00:36:50I mean, look at this. We're screwed anyway.
00:36:52What could be worse?
00:36:54What the fuck?
00:36:55You shot me.
00:36:57You shot me.
00:36:58It's not time for crazy.
00:36:59He fucking shot at us.
00:37:01I got him, I got him, I got him.
00:37:05Freddy, I don't wanna die.
00:37:14I don't understand.
00:37:16We use it all the time.
00:37:17Mr. Hannity.
00:37:20Please.
00:37:21I swear it's not my fault.
00:37:23He got strangled in the sex swing.
00:37:30Well, well.
00:37:33Welcome back, Mr. Coleman.
00:37:48Is he able to speak?
00:37:50Short answer is no.
00:37:52Oxygen shortage and intracranial hemorrhage
00:37:54will leave your brain damaged.
00:37:57I need a word with him.
00:37:58In private.
00:38:04Bob, Bob, Bob.
00:38:07May I call you Bob?
00:38:10You've always been a source of inspiration.
00:38:13Seizing all opportunities as they present themselves.
00:38:16Never taking bullshit from anyone.
00:38:19Well, now.
00:38:21I'm seizing mine.
00:38:24I'm taking over.
00:38:26I got big plans for the Coleman Corporation.
00:38:37One.
00:38:38Two.
00:38:39One.
00:38:41One.
00:38:43Two.
00:38:44One.
00:38:45Two.
00:38:47Two.
00:38:48And step, step.
00:38:49And one, two, back.
00:38:51One.
00:38:52Two.
00:38:53What the hell is going on here?
00:38:56Social dance Friday.
00:38:58He's making great progress.
00:38:59He's a natural.
00:39:02And what have you guys done with my place?
00:39:05We tied it up a bit.
00:39:06You did what?
00:39:08It was dusty.
00:39:09She is our hostage, numbnuts.
00:39:11Not our maid.
00:39:12No, no.
00:39:13Settle down.
00:39:15I got the perfect remedy for grumpy boys.
00:39:19Freshly baked sweet rolls.
00:39:21Sweet rolls, man!
00:39:30You're so fucked.
00:39:32I'm so fucking cold.
00:39:34You're not dying, Carl.
00:39:35I think I'm losing too much weight.
00:39:36It's a scratch.
00:39:37You're fine.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:40Oh, shit.
00:39:41You actually got shot.
00:39:42Yeah, I told you.
00:39:43Dude.
00:39:44You're gonna make scars.
00:39:48Cheeseburgers?
00:39:49Really?
00:39:50Thank you for all the extra lactose, Freddy.
00:39:53Since when is there lactose in cheeseburgers?
00:39:56Oh.
00:39:57Jeez.
00:40:00What's up, losers?
00:40:01It's them.
00:40:03I'm gonna put you on speakerphone, okay?
00:40:09I think I hung up on them.
00:40:10Freddy!
00:40:11I didn't do it on purpose.
00:40:14Oh, here, here.
00:40:16Did you just hang up on me?
00:40:18Stan?
00:40:20Maggie.
00:40:21Wait, you two know each other?
00:40:24So after all this time, you're still Coleman's little bitch, huh?
00:40:27Screw Coleman, okay?
00:40:28If you don't bring my 50K in 12 hours,
00:40:30this sweet old granny over here goes bye-bye.
00:40:32Hey, hey, hey.
00:40:33How do we even know she's alive, huh?
00:40:36Good point.
00:40:37She is fine.
00:40:38Well, then put her on the phone.
00:40:44What the hell was that?
00:40:45Uh, nothing.
00:40:46What the fuck, Rocco?
00:40:48Put the gun down!
00:40:50What gun?
00:40:51Look, put Grandma on the phone right now, or the deal is done.
00:40:54Yeah.
00:40:55Yes.
00:40:56Um, she's coming.
00:41:06Come on, wake up, please, wake up.
00:41:10She's back.
00:41:11Speak.
00:41:13Hello?
00:41:14Grandma.
00:41:16Oh, hello, sweetie.
00:41:19Isn't it a beautiful day?
00:41:21Are you okay?
00:41:23Is that bastard treating you well enough?
00:41:24Language, young lady.
00:41:26All right, that's enough.
00:41:27You got 12 hours, got that?
00:41:31So how do you know this prick?
00:41:33He's my...
00:41:34ex.
00:41:36You slept with the enemy?
00:41:38Thank you, Freddy, for the reminder.
00:41:40Shit.
00:41:43Okay, we need another Zelverella.
00:41:45You mean like the one that Carl masturbates to?
00:41:48Did you just say jerk off like normal people do?
00:41:51Show us.
00:41:53I'm not gonna jerk off in front of you guys.
00:41:55Show us the girl, you sick fuck.
00:42:01Hey, would you quit crying?
00:42:02You're overgrown.
00:42:03Cry, baby.
00:42:05I never shot a granny before.
00:42:07Oh, there, there.
00:42:14Oh, she's alive.
00:42:17Wait, I wanna see.
00:42:21That totally looks like her.
00:42:23I know.
00:42:24This could actually work.
00:42:25So how do we find her?
00:42:27Well, they also have a massage parlor
00:42:29and you can go and book private sessions.
00:42:32Not that I ever tried.
00:42:34Just saying.
00:42:35I guess there's a first time for everything.
00:43:06Cool.
00:43:10Use her name.
00:43:15Masterbater69.
00:43:17Come again?
00:43:19Masterbater69.
00:43:22Just give me a second.
00:43:23How original.
00:43:24That's a play on words, Maggie.
00:43:26So you do use that word.
00:43:29Double standard much?
00:43:30Platinum member.
00:43:31Wow.
00:43:32Which one of our delightful Zelve girls
00:43:34have you come to see today?
00:43:36We're here for Zelverella.
00:43:38Of course.
00:43:39Your favorite.
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:42It says right here,
00:43:43you never claimed your membership rewards.
00:43:45Well, it says it right here.
00:43:46And boy, did you accumulate some point.
00:43:48So, here's your free platinum membership pin.
00:43:54Gel for your penis.
00:43:57A lovely Zelve t-shirt.
00:44:02Some coupons.
00:44:05And of course, our famous pocket penis laser pointer.
00:44:10Look, we don't have time for free swag, okay?
00:44:13God!
00:44:15That laser is brutal.
00:44:17You can proceed to booth 23.
00:44:19She'll be right there with you.
00:44:20Okay.
00:44:25Oh, and platinum member's friends
00:44:30do get a special discount.
00:44:32Care for a try?
00:44:35No, we're just laid outside.
00:44:38Don't touch anything, Freddy.
00:44:57Happy to finally put a face on my best tipper.
00:44:59Hello.
00:45:02Hi.
00:45:04Oh!
00:45:06Oh, you're kind of cute.
00:45:08You too.
00:45:09You smell nice.
00:45:10Thanks.
00:45:11So, first time here, huh?
00:45:14Yeah.
00:45:24Have a good time, baby.
00:45:25Just open it.
00:45:26Ow!
00:45:29Are you having fun, Carl?
00:45:31It's not what you think, Maggie.
00:45:32Get away!
00:45:33Hey, maybe we can give him, like, five minutes.
00:45:35What?
00:45:36Oh, come on.
00:45:37He needs this.
00:45:38I'm hanging out of a window.
00:45:39Are your friends going to be watching because it's creepy?
00:45:41No, no, it's my sister.
00:45:42Oh, well, we can invite her if you want.
00:45:44No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:47Extra players need to register first.
00:45:49Oops.
00:45:51Look, we don't have much time, okay?
00:45:54Wait, did you come here to save me from my pimp?
00:45:57Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:45:58Wait, why?
00:45:59Is she mistreating you?
00:46:00No, you're just so overprotective.
00:46:02You know, suffocating, like...
00:46:04Oh, shit.
00:46:05Hey, this is against house rules.
00:46:06Open up!
00:46:07Everybody out, now!
00:46:08Nobody tells me what to do, girl.
00:46:10Come on.
00:46:13Oh, come on!
00:46:26Hey, your membership is terminated!
00:46:33Sadly, we are also expecting a big protest
00:46:36against living-impaired abuse.
00:46:38That's a real shame for freedom of speech.
00:46:40Well, if you're traveling by car
00:46:42and don't want to be late for dinner,
00:46:43you should definitely avoid the art district.
00:46:46Love.
00:46:48It's the best feeling, right?
00:46:51I'd rather be in a car crash.
00:46:56Freddie, pull over!
00:46:58Okay, okay, okay.
00:47:02Perfect.
00:47:09I'm stuck.
00:47:11Thank you. We can see that.
00:47:12I can't fucking believe it.
00:47:13You just drove right into him.
00:47:15He hit us!
00:47:16I lied. Liar.
00:47:18Shut up!
00:47:19You okay there?
00:47:20Poor thing.
00:47:21I've been worse.
00:47:23You weren't paying attention.
00:47:24Again.
00:47:25I was paying attention to you being negative.
00:47:28Again!
00:47:29Could you two just cut it?
00:47:30For like a second, please?
00:47:31In other news,
00:47:32Country Hill Cemetery has been the theater
00:47:33of yet another hate crime.
00:47:35The police are looking for three suspects
00:47:37driving a green delivery van.
00:47:39They are deemed armed and dangerous.
00:47:41You know, the police is looking for us now.
00:47:43What did we do this time?
00:47:44Oh, nothing serious.
00:47:45Just, you know, a hate crime.
00:47:48That is a load of bullcrap.
00:47:50Oh, right.
00:47:51You say you're the brain of the operation, Maggie,
00:47:53so you got any great plan to get us out of this?
00:47:55Yeah, I got a plan.
00:47:56I got a plan.
00:47:57I got it right here.
00:48:00That's very mature, Maggie.
00:48:02Says the guy who looked at his own asshole.
00:48:05Asshole.
00:48:07You, shut up.
00:48:09Asshole.
00:48:13Captain!
00:48:14There, dickless.
00:48:15Go fetch.
00:48:17Guys, guys, guys, come on!
00:48:19None of our assholes are gonna matter
00:48:21if we don't get back on the road,
00:48:23like, right now!
00:48:26Okay.
00:48:29Oh!
00:48:31Oh!
00:48:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:48:39Come on, big guy.
00:48:42Don't mind me.
00:48:44Shut up.
00:48:45How about I call us an Uber?
00:48:51Hey, losers.
00:48:52Clock is ticking.
00:48:53All right, now look, shitstick.
00:48:55We're on.
00:48:56Meet us at the Maddox Gallery with Grandma.
00:48:58Take it or leave it.
00:48:59Ha, that shitty attitude.
00:49:01I missed you, Maggie.
00:49:04What a twat.
00:49:05Yep.
00:49:07All right.
00:49:08Let's hope that old glittery fart likes bootlegs.
00:49:12Selvarella?
00:49:15Selvarella?
00:49:16Oh, shit.
00:49:17She's gone?
00:49:19Well, of course she's gone.
00:49:20I mean, we kidnapped her.
00:49:21Go get your girl.
00:49:23Go!
00:49:24Go!
00:49:29No, no, no.
00:49:31No.
00:49:34Bad!
00:49:35Bad!
00:49:36Is Mr. Coleman appreciating his new scenery?
00:49:40Mr. Hannity, we've made great progress.
00:49:43However, I'm afraid we need more time.
00:49:45Why?
00:49:46I've seen the tests.
00:49:47They're fine.
00:49:49They looked scary.
00:49:51Focus on scaring them.
00:49:52Stay away from the party bucketheads.
00:49:54Yes, this is the formula we have here,
00:49:57but it is extremely unstable and infectious.
00:50:00We don't know...
00:50:01Do you believe Coleman's special forces can't contain this?
00:50:06The protocol suggests that we perform additional testing.
00:50:10Maybe you're right.
00:50:13What are you doing?
00:50:15Following protocol.
00:50:18Oh, no.
00:50:19Oh, no.
00:50:21No, no, no, no, no!
00:50:23No, no, no!
00:50:24Let me out!
00:50:41Shit!
00:50:50Silverella?
00:51:02Hello?
00:51:06Baby! No! No!
00:51:08Cut the crap.
00:51:10Where are you taking me?
00:51:12We're on a job, and we're taking you to automatics at the gallery.
00:51:14Automatics?
00:51:16Artist and...
00:51:18Billionaire?
00:51:20Yeah, yeah. He wants you to be his date for tonight's event.
00:51:26Oh, that's so romantic.
00:51:28Watch out! Watch out!
00:51:30That's bullet wound.
00:51:34It'll probably leave a scar.
00:51:36Oh, yeah.
00:51:48Oh, that's so gross.
00:51:50You want to know what's gross?
00:51:52Is that you ever dated that jerk.
00:51:54Get over it. I told you, it only ever happened like once.
00:51:56Or, you know, twice.
00:51:58Why am I trying to justify myself to you?
00:52:00It's none of your fucking business anyway.
00:52:02I was just kidding.
00:52:04Thanks.
00:52:06Sarcasm, Freddie.
00:52:08Yeah, duh.
00:52:10Yeah, I knew that.
00:52:18Looks like you folks got a problem.
00:52:26Uh-huh.
00:52:28Let me give you a hand with that.
00:52:30I got just the right tools in my car.
00:52:32Oh, uh, you don't have to do that, sir.
00:52:34Pleasure, ma'am.
00:52:36He just mammed me.
00:52:38Did he?
00:52:40I didn't. I blacked out.
00:52:42You're so royally fucked.
00:52:44No, I think if we just play it cool, we'll be fine.
00:52:46Shh.
00:52:48Yeah, I tried to swerve out of the way,
00:52:50but he just, like, jumped right in front of me.
00:52:52Don't worry about it. It happens all the time.
00:52:54These sons of bitches, they're worse than possums.
00:52:56Yeah.
00:52:58Hold that for me, sir.
00:53:00Let's start with the head.
00:53:04Wow.
00:53:06That was...
00:53:08quick.
00:53:10Majestical.
00:53:18Oh, jeez.
00:53:26Well,
00:53:28there you go, folks.
00:53:30Might want to stop at a car wash,
00:53:32get rid of that smell.
00:53:34Yeah. Oh, you're a real lifesaver.
00:53:36Yeah, no, that was really,
00:53:38really nice of you.
00:53:40Now drive safe.
00:53:44What the hell did you do that for?
00:53:46To save your asses.
00:53:48That is assault on an officer of the law.
00:53:50Yeah, a really nice officer
00:53:52that had no idea that we were wanted.
00:53:54And how was I supposed to know that?
00:53:56I thought that it was super brave.
00:53:58I am so done. I will be in the van.
00:54:00Fuck all of you.
00:54:04Well, we can't just leave him there.
00:54:18I'm Chelsea Lee,
00:54:20your favorite red carpet correspondent
00:54:22here at the Maddox Art Gallery,
00:54:24where the glitterati of Metropolis is here,
00:54:26and Mother Teresa is here.
00:54:28Mother Teresa.
00:54:30Oh, my goodness.
00:54:32Isn't she looking lovely in her designer robe?
00:54:34Nobody pulls off white and blue
00:54:36like Mother Teresa.
00:54:38Mother Teresa, you rock the white and blue.
00:54:40Martinis later.
00:54:42You should see her on the dance floor.
00:54:44She is a maniac.
00:54:46Here at Colman News,
00:54:48we don't let protesters ruin our night,
00:54:50and we just look forward to the art.
00:54:52What automatics is going to release today?
00:54:54Who knows?
00:54:56Last time it was very controversial.
00:54:58Tonight, it's probably going to be
00:55:00even more racy, but
00:55:02Colman News will show you everything.
00:55:22Let the show begin.
00:55:52♪
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00:57:16Oh, she's in
00:57:18pristine condition.
00:57:20Botox and
00:57:22fillers. You know how
00:57:24it is. I've had some work done
00:57:26myself.
00:57:28♪
00:57:30♪
00:57:32♪
00:57:34♪
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00:57:50♪
00:57:52Okay.
00:57:54Let's get her clean and dressed.
00:57:56Stop right there, dude.
00:57:58You got our money?
00:58:00Oh.
00:58:02What I wouldn't give for
00:58:04the golden star of my
00:58:06celestial realm.
00:58:08Oh.
00:58:10♪
00:58:12Stop!
00:58:14Stop, okay?
00:58:16Stop! The deal is off!
00:58:18Shut the fuck up, Carl.
00:58:20♪
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00:58:50You're trying to ruin my mood.
00:58:52No, no, no. He's just, you know,
00:58:54jealous. No.
00:58:56No, we like each other.
00:58:58It's real sweet, honey, but this is a huge opportunity
00:59:00for me, so...
00:59:02Mm-mm.
00:59:04I'm so
00:59:06sorry, Grandma.
00:59:08She's not the real Zelverella.
00:59:10She's a Zelve girl.
00:59:12And she's the love of my life.
00:59:14♪
00:59:16Okay, listen, he is just
00:59:18being emotional. What did you just say?
00:59:20I said that he's just being emoti-
00:59:22Not you!
00:59:24Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
00:59:26I got
00:59:28fooled by a
00:59:30cosplayer. Oh!
00:59:32She's a worthless fake!
00:59:34Do I look like a man
00:59:36you can play games with?
00:59:42What now?
00:59:44Ah!
00:59:46Ah!
00:59:48Ah!
00:59:50Ah!
00:59:52Ah!
00:59:54Ah!
00:59:56Ah!
00:59:58Yeah, come at me.
01:00:00Ah!
01:00:02Ah!
01:00:04Ah!
01:00:06Ah!
01:00:08Who the hell, Don?
01:00:10Ah!
01:00:14Ah!
01:00:16Ah!
01:00:18Ah!
01:00:20Ah!
01:00:22Ah!
01:00:24Ah!
01:00:26Ah!
01:00:28-♪♪♪
01:00:33-♪♪♪
01:00:38-♪♪♪
01:00:43-♪♪♪
01:00:50I'm sorry.
01:00:55Dude, you just killed Mother Teresa!
01:00:57She was so mean.
01:00:58Super rude.
01:00:59Way out of character.
01:01:01-♪♪♪♪
01:01:03-♪♪♪♪
01:01:07Hit that glittery fucker!
01:01:09-♪♪♪♪
01:01:11-♪♪♪♪
01:01:15Not bad for a worthless fake, huh?
01:01:19-♪♪♪♪
01:01:24-♪♪♪♪
01:01:29-♪♪♪♪
01:01:34Very nice.
01:01:36-♪♪♪♪
01:01:39-♪♪♪♪
01:01:49Why are they so hostile all of a sudden?
01:01:52There has to be a logical explanation.
01:01:54Maybe there's bath salts in the hors d'oeuvres.
01:01:58That's actually plausible.
01:02:00-♪♪♪♪
01:02:02Hey.
01:02:04You really meant what you said up there,
01:02:05master underscore baiter?
01:02:08You can actually call me Carl.
01:02:10-♪♪♪♪
01:02:12I'm Jane.
01:02:14-♪♪♪♪
01:02:20Go, go, go!
01:02:22-♪♪♪♪
01:02:32Move, move, move, come on!
01:02:33Guys, we gotta go!
01:02:34Go, go, go!
01:02:36Holy fuck, have you guys seen this?
01:02:38Yeah, it's like, uh...
01:02:39Like in the movies.
01:02:40Yeah.
01:02:41What the hell are we supposed to do now?
01:02:42Okay, we charge at them,
01:02:43and we hit them in the brain real hard.
01:02:44Yeah, and don't let them bite you.
01:02:46Great plan.
01:02:47Genius.
01:02:48Thanks.
01:02:49Oh, that was sarcasm.
01:02:50I...
01:02:51Oh, for fuck's sakes.
01:02:53Where's my money?
01:02:54Look, we have it.
01:02:56Almost.
01:02:57What do you mean, almost?
01:02:58Do you know what freaking time it is?
01:02:59It's freaking time's up!
01:03:00This bio-terrorist claimed responsibility
01:03:02for the ongoing Attucks Art Gallery attack.
01:03:05The terrorists have been identified
01:03:07as being Carl Neird, Freddie Merckx,
01:03:09Maggie Neird, and Jane Doe.
01:03:11Feminist, activist, terrorist.
01:03:14All very dangerous to our freedom.
01:03:16Oh, man, we're terrorists.
01:03:18No, no, no, no, we're bio-terrorists, okay?
01:03:20It's far worse.
01:03:21Thank you, Carl.
01:03:22That really helps a lot.
01:03:24Wait.
01:03:25Where's Jane?
01:03:26Hmm?
01:03:30Oh, she's right there.
01:03:32They're not attacking her.
01:03:34I know, it's weird.
01:03:35It's like they're only attracted to us.
01:03:37Warm-blooded.
01:03:39Look, she's getting her money.
01:03:46That backstabbing bitch.
01:03:48Heart-stabbing, Maggie.
01:03:50Heart-stabbing.
01:04:01♪♪♪♪♪
01:04:11♪♪♪♪
01:04:19So we hit him in the brain.
01:04:21Real hard.
01:04:22Here.
01:04:24Oh, because I'm the girl?
01:04:26No, because you're badass.
01:04:30Okay.
01:04:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:04:33Before we do this and, you know, most probably die,
01:04:36I just thought it would be really cool
01:04:38to have you as a brother-in-law.
01:04:40Hey, don't I get a say in that?
01:04:42Okay, uh, listen, Maggie, I'm-I'm really sorry
01:04:45being jealous of your ex-boyfriend,
01:04:47who is an asshole.
01:04:49And I'm sorry, too, okay?
01:04:50I know I made the plan fail,
01:04:52and that was selfish, I get it, so...
01:04:54I'm sorry.
01:04:55You guys are so lame.
01:04:57How adorable.
01:05:01All right, fine.
01:05:02Okay, uh, I swear to God,
01:05:04if we ever get out of this thing alive,
01:05:06I will...
01:05:08play D&D with you.
01:05:12Good enough.
01:05:13Dude, that's huge!
01:05:14I know!
01:05:15Okay.
01:05:17So, we're gonna show these rotten bastards
01:05:21what happens.
01:05:22Hey!
01:05:23Hold on.
01:05:24Maggie.
01:05:25Can't go into battle with your shoes untied.
01:05:29Okay.
01:05:30All right, we're gonna show these rotten bastards
01:05:34what happens when Wild Gringo
01:05:37gets wild!
01:05:40Yeah!
01:05:49We're invincible.
01:05:56Whoa!
01:05:58Oh, yeah!
01:06:01Ow!
01:06:02Motherfucker!
01:06:04Maggie!
01:06:05That's why we drink our milk!
01:06:07Lactose intolerant, asshole!
01:06:20All right, I'm gonna pick you up.
01:06:22I'm strong enough to do this.
01:06:24I'm strong enough to do that.
01:06:27Ah-choo!
01:06:30Freddy!
01:06:40Freddy, come on, wake up!
01:06:42Freddy, come on, please!
01:06:44Freddy!
01:06:48Oh, shit!
01:06:49Oh, shit!
01:06:54Oh, shit!
01:06:57Oh, shit!
01:07:01What?
01:07:10Shiva, they're destroying me!
01:07:17What the hell?
01:07:18Oh, my God!
01:07:20Fucker!
01:07:28Welcome to Green City!
01:07:30Population, you!
01:07:34Freddy!
01:07:39Yes, okay.
01:07:45Whoa!
01:07:46Come here!
01:07:47Whoa!
01:07:48Come here!
01:07:51Did you pick a bad boy?
01:07:55Whoa!
01:07:56That's what I'm talking about!
01:07:59Whoa!
01:08:03Hey, don't make me feel so bad, you man!
01:08:06Oh, my God!
01:08:08Ah!
01:08:09Ah!
01:08:10Oh, my God!
01:08:18Ah!
01:08:28Whoa!
01:08:29Yeah!
01:08:42Whoa!
01:08:43Guys!
01:08:44Bingo!
01:08:45Bingo!
01:08:46Bingo!
01:08:47Whoa!
01:08:50Oh, that was crazy!
01:08:52Freddy, no!
01:09:07Oh, my God!
01:09:14Jake?
01:09:15Everybody, get on your knees!
01:09:20Now!
01:09:26I'm surprised you're all still alive.
01:09:30But glad to meet the terrorists
01:09:32behind Project Zoltan.
01:09:34No, that's Dracula's hound.
01:09:36Shut up, Carl.
01:09:37I'm just saying this massacre just went down the drain.
01:09:40The health care collector was a young man in his 50's
01:09:43Just exposed your true nature to the world, you filthy zombies.
01:09:49Hey, she's living in Paris.
01:09:53Down on the ground, now!
01:09:55No!
01:10:10Oh, Hannity, man. I bet you didn't see this one coming, huh?
01:10:14Tell me, how does it feel to be on your knees?
01:10:16Now is not the time, Dave.
01:10:18My name is Stanley.
01:10:20How many fucking times do I have to tell you that?
01:10:22Who the hell is Dave anyway?
01:10:23Calm down. Everything is fine. We have the money.
01:10:26My money!
01:10:27Hey, I'm Elle. Finders keepers.
01:10:29Sneaky bitch.
01:10:32Baby, I'm so sorry. I was... I was really scared.
01:10:35She was scared, Meg.
01:10:36She's lying, Carl.
01:10:38You don't know that.
01:10:39I agree with both of you.
01:10:40Shut up!
01:10:42Enough with the fucking bickering!
01:10:44Do you hear yourself?
01:10:45I'm scared. I agree with you both.
01:10:47I should shoot all of you in the fucking face!
01:10:50Give me that.
01:10:52Nice. Now...
01:10:56Where was I?
01:10:57Ah, yes.
01:10:59Your days of roaming our streets and infecting us with diseases are over.
01:11:05Well, the last disease I caught wasn't from a dead guy.
01:11:08You know, you got some nasty shit going on inside your lab yourself.
01:11:11I've seen it.
01:11:13I bet you orchestrated this whole fucking thing.
01:11:17So it wasn't bath salts.
01:11:19You made them look bad so you could cash in on some big-ass Coleman cleanup contract
01:11:24and be the goddamn hero, didn't you?
01:11:26And you all are the perfect scapegoats, aren't you?
01:11:32You got me.
01:11:34You got me, clever girl.
01:11:36Too bad.
01:11:37No one's ever gonna find out.
01:11:41Carl! Laser penis!
01:11:50Yes!
01:11:52No, Max!
01:11:53I know!
01:11:54Oh, great!
01:12:04You ruined everything, you wretched scum!
01:12:07What have you done?!
01:12:09The world is in fucking favor!
01:12:15You look better dead, baby.
01:12:20Nice shot.
01:12:22Good pass.
01:12:32Oh!
01:12:34It's a miracle!
01:12:35You fucking fucker!
01:12:42I love you too, Maggie.
01:12:44Yeah, nice try, shit-face.
01:12:47Uh, guys?
01:12:49I hate to interrupt, but where's the money?
01:12:56And where's Stan?
01:13:17Paul, we can't.
01:13:20What would my father say?
01:13:24Why can't we be together?
01:13:26I love you.
01:13:28Come on, pick up.
01:13:30Shit.
01:13:35Go ahead, I got you.
01:13:47Come on, come on, come on.
01:13:56Any moment now.
01:13:58Here they are, Brad.
01:13:59Our terrorists are exiting the building by the front door as we speak.
01:14:02Anything to say for your defense?
01:14:04We're innocent.
01:14:06I recorded everything and I have proof.
01:14:08I recorded everything and I have proof.
01:14:12I do.
01:14:17I do.
01:14:25Yeah, so I skipped to the end.
01:14:29Oh, I know, I'm cheating.
01:14:34All the good news is, we got Granny back.
01:14:38She's living in Paris now, but she always thought she was, so I guess she's finally happy.
01:14:47And we didn't get arrested.
01:14:49Turns out that Captain Galactica's keychain plan didn't work out as I'd hoped and didn't prove anything.
01:14:55But...
01:14:57All hell broke loose.
01:14:59The infection got out and spread like crazy.
01:15:09Welcome to the real zombie apocalypse.
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