29000 Wishes 1 Regret HD

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Transcript
00:00:00Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:03This is our foyer, sort of, foyer number three.
00:00:07Fireplace.
00:00:08Beautiful view of downtown.
00:00:10Did you sketch, did you get that?
00:00:12Good.
00:00:13You thought of everything.
00:00:18I did candles.
00:00:19Jennifer Alpern, you are such a romantic.
00:00:22Jennifer, I just got here.
00:00:25You thought of everything.
00:00:26I did candles.
00:00:27Jennifer Alpern, you are such a romantic.
00:00:29Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33Come on.
00:00:34No.
00:00:35First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37You know, I will kill you.
00:00:38You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:40I can't believe you found that.
00:00:41I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44I was cold.
00:00:45Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:48It's gross.
00:00:49It has holes in it.
00:00:50It smells like old beard.
00:00:51Come on.
00:00:52This is quality.
00:00:53Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:57I will make love to you in every room in this house,
00:01:00starting right here.
00:01:03That's so itchy.
00:01:05Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08Open your eyes.
00:01:11What is this?
00:01:12What do you think?
00:01:14What is it?
00:01:15Kiss me.
00:01:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:29I'm going to try it again.
00:01:30Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you
00:01:33how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:01:36You probably already know this,
00:01:37but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:01:39Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:44Yeah.
00:01:45If we're going downhill anyway,
00:01:46why not be the masters of our own fate
00:01:48and decide when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:56Spend what we want when we want.
00:01:58Yeah, do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:02:00but now, due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03So here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:02:07Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09No.
00:02:11I do miss everyone.
00:02:14Just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15these last few months.
00:02:16Yeah.
00:02:17Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:02:20I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:22but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:02:28I should probably shut it off now.
00:02:31Okay.
00:02:32♪
00:02:37♪
00:02:42♪
00:02:47♪
00:02:52♪
00:02:57♪
00:03:02♪
00:03:07♪
00:03:12♪
00:03:17♪
00:03:22♪
00:03:27♪ Who do you think you are?
00:03:31♪ Lighting this place with dark
00:03:35♪ My time is spent for play
00:03:39♪ You have a better way
00:03:41♪
00:03:46That bad, huh?
00:03:49Can you say hell?
00:03:51I can't see what the point is.
00:03:53Hundreds of us, hundreds crammed into this little room,
00:03:55and the looks on everyone's faces just said it all.
00:03:58Take me, I'll be your slave.
00:03:59I'll work for next to nothing.
00:04:01Pathetic.
00:04:02You'll get it.
00:04:03I can feel it.
00:04:04No, I won't.
00:04:06I didn't pass my CPI.
00:04:08Your what?
00:04:09Critical Personality Inventory Exam.
00:04:13It's an exam they invented to test
00:04:15whether your corporate policy gels with you
00:04:18or your personality gels with them.
00:04:20They test your big five, your conscientiousness,
00:04:22your stability, your openness,
00:04:23your agreeableness, your extroversion.
00:04:26Brian totally is in trouble.
00:04:31He thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant.
00:04:33What would Brian do without your advice?
00:04:35I am his best friend.
00:04:36It seems like you're his only friend.
00:04:37It's kind of my duty to be there for him.
00:04:39He's going through a tough time.
00:04:41Hello.
00:04:43Well, you're a good guy, Kevin.
00:04:45You know, if you shut off your cell phone,
00:04:46we could save 60 a month.
00:04:48Never.
00:04:49I'm that last link to my old life
00:04:51when I was a mover and shaker.
00:04:52Old habits die hard.
00:04:59So what's for dinner?
00:05:04Boston baked beans.
00:05:07Oh, good.
00:05:08I like beans.
00:05:09Nothing more nutritious than beans.
00:05:10They're low in protein.
00:05:13Oh, I have a surprise.
00:05:14To win the lotto?
00:05:15Jackpot's up to 62.5 million.
00:05:17No, close.
00:05:18I just got my last unemployment check.
00:05:20Oh, good.
00:05:21Time to cut loose and celebrate.
00:05:23No, it's time to make the money last.
00:05:25There's always food stamps.
00:05:27Or the place we donated the turkey.
00:05:29The food bank.
00:05:30Yeah.
00:05:31Or maybe we'll get jobs.
00:05:33I sent my resume to over 100 companies.
00:05:34Something's got to give.
00:05:35Maybe we should just go to the store.
00:05:37No, let's order takeout.
00:05:38No.
00:05:39Pizza.
00:05:40No, we can't.
00:05:41Pizza.
00:05:42Kevin, that's like over $20 plus a tip.
00:05:43No.
00:05:44We can just get cheese.
00:05:45People don't live without toppings.
00:05:46Without pepperoni.
00:05:47Not mushrooms.
00:05:48Mushrooms are a line in the sand.
00:05:49That's non-negotiable.
00:05:50Kevin, we only have $591.62
00:05:52to last us an infinite amount of time.
00:05:54We're not getting takeout.
00:05:56We're not going out to eat.
00:06:00Oh, and there was a 50-cent-off pack of...
00:06:0312-pack of tuna?
00:06:04Done.
00:06:06I swore in college I would never eat ramen again.
00:06:08I worked hard enough.
00:06:09I need the good stuff.
00:06:10Is there a reason why you torture us?
00:06:12How's that?
00:06:14You keep going on and on about how things used to be.
00:06:16It's getting old.
00:06:17I'm sorry.
00:06:18I'm remembering a better period in our lives.
00:06:20No, you're complaining.
00:06:22You know, what you're complaining is my way of remembering better times.
00:06:26I'm not having this conversation again.
00:06:30Oh, Brian again.
00:06:33What would he do without your brotherly advice?
00:06:36I have no idea.
00:06:45Hey, remember our old market where we used to buy choice of cheeses?
00:06:48Like goat.
00:06:50And not just goat.
00:06:51Kimber, Rockford.
00:06:53And you could choose what country it came from.
00:06:55And then the region from that country...
00:06:56You done?
00:06:58Sorry, I won't reminisce anymore.
00:07:00I'm bad.
00:07:01Hi, Mom.
00:07:02Hi, dear. How are the two of you doing?
00:07:04Doing okay.
00:07:05How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:07I don't know. Let me ask him.
00:07:08My mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming.
00:07:11I hope you haven't given up.
00:07:13Tell him winners win.
00:07:15My mom says don't give up. Winners win.
00:07:17I bet she does.
00:07:18I just hope he's still looking.
00:07:20Yeah, Mom. He's looking. Every day.
00:07:22We both are.
00:07:24It's just hard. No one's hiring right now.
00:07:26He needs to pound the pavement.
00:07:28Mom, he is.
00:07:29Are you both coming home for Thanksgiving?
00:07:31Yes, we are coming home for Thanksgiving.
00:07:33I just don't see why someone won't hire him.
00:07:36He's such a smart boy.
00:07:38Such a talented architect.
00:07:41Mom, can I call you back?
00:07:43Okay.
00:07:46You're silly.
00:07:47Isn't that why you married me?
00:07:49Maybe.
00:07:51You made a mess.
00:07:52I know. We better go before they make us pay for it.
00:07:54No. What is that anyway?
00:07:56It's gelatin. It's Mexican gelatin.
00:07:58It's jalapeno gelatin with queso.
00:08:01What else do we need?
00:08:02I don't know. I got the peanut butter and the beans.
00:08:05You ready?
00:08:07Tuna. Good call. You were so on it.
00:08:10Your favorite. Cilantro.
00:08:17It's like knives.
00:08:19I love cilantro.
00:08:20I know. And it makes me worry about you.
00:08:23That maybe you are an android.
00:08:40Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:08:44Honest love
00:08:46Don't last at all
00:08:49Honest love
00:08:51Just makes me crawl
00:08:54Honest love
00:08:56Makes me go out, out, out, out of my mind
00:09:06You growing a beard?
00:09:08My new plan is to shave every four days.
00:09:10That way I can save on razors and shaving cream.
00:09:13Did you know that each of those razors is like two dollars?
00:09:16I never realized what a root puff was.
00:09:18Yep.
00:09:19Well, I think it's sexy.
00:09:30Do you still love me?
00:09:32Of course I do.
00:09:35Then say it.
00:09:38I don't have to say it. I've never said it.
00:09:43Would I still be with you if I didn't love you?
00:09:45What choice would you have?
00:09:47I could move out.
00:09:48And go where?
00:09:51I don't know. The car?
00:09:53That's my point.
00:09:56I feel like we're together because we have to be together,
00:09:58not because we want to be together.
00:10:00Even when we had everything, I was still with you.
00:10:04Then say it.
00:10:07Look, you know I don't say it. I just show it.
00:10:11My mother always told my father she loved him.
00:10:13And then they got divorced, and then he married Marilyn, his trophy wife, and...
00:10:17It didn't matter they said it.
00:10:19Well, if it means absolutely nothing, then just say it.
00:10:22Why are we having this conversation now? We're married.
00:10:24Because it's important now, okay?
00:10:27I just...
00:10:29need it.
00:10:32I love you, alright?
00:10:34Yeah.
00:10:38Yeah.
00:10:50Amazing how that guy can interrupt every moment we have.
00:10:53It's like he has relationship sabotage.
00:10:59You know what? It's a nice day. I'm gonna walk home.
00:11:08Are you mad at me?
00:11:10No, I'm not mad.
00:11:12Just sad, I guess.
00:11:14Don't you think I'm sad, too?
00:11:17Not for the same reasons.
00:11:23I miss driving our car.
00:11:25I thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgic.
00:11:27I think it says back.
00:11:29I'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while.
00:11:32I kind of like it.
00:11:34I mean, when we used to drive everywhere, we never got to see anything.
00:11:37It really opens your eyes up.
00:11:39Yeah. I don't know if I want to see everything.
00:11:42I like living in my own ignorant little world.
00:11:46I'm excited for sandwiches.
00:11:49Give me the keys.
00:11:58You owe me.
00:12:00You owe me.
00:12:02You owe me.
00:12:04You owe me.
00:12:06You owe me.
00:12:08You owe me.
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You owe me.
00:12:14You always were a terrific chef.
00:12:16No, you're sweet. And a bad liar.
00:12:21Huh?
00:12:23I thought we were saving that for a special occasion.
00:12:25Well, you were.
00:12:27We might be waiting a long time.
00:12:31What are we toasting to?
00:12:34I don't know.
00:12:38Let's try something.
00:12:40During this entire meal, no one can say anything negative.
00:12:43This is going to be a happy, pleasant meal.
00:12:45Done.
00:12:47And if whoever talks negatively loses and has to do dishes for a week.
00:12:52I'm going to make it two weeks.
00:12:54Three weeks.
00:12:55A month.
00:12:56Until spring.
00:12:57Works for me.
00:13:00You know, Kevin, I was thinking.
00:13:02This meal out would have cost us $32 at least.
00:13:05Not to mention the drinks, which would have been at least $10.
00:13:08Yeah, so that's like $42 with taxes. Maybe even $45.
00:13:11And for what?
00:13:14Bread that costs $0.10 a slice.
00:13:16I mean, an $0.89 can of tuna.
00:13:18$0.02 worth of mayo.
00:13:20That's like $0.50 a sandwich.
00:13:22That's over a $32 savings.
00:13:25I love tuna.
00:13:26Add a little mayo, relish, celery.
00:13:28It's foodie's paradise.
00:13:30Where would we be without peanut butter and tuna fish?
00:13:33Empires were built on these staples.
00:13:36You lose.
00:13:37How's that?
00:13:38You were complaining.
00:13:40Oh, I would like to repeal this ruling.
00:13:43Do you like sex?
00:13:45Oh, that's not fair. You can't use sex as a bargaining chip.
00:13:48Oh?
00:13:50Okay, maybe you can, but that's just not fair.
00:13:53Okay.
00:13:54Maybe I'll consider reducing your sentence to one week.
00:13:58If you work for it.
00:14:02Tell me you love me.
00:14:05Oh, we're back on that again.
00:14:07No, we're not on it.
00:14:10Well, then I only have one question for you.
00:14:12Which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer?
00:14:15Make sure you wash those really good.
00:14:17Some grease and some love.
00:14:28Is it Brian?
00:14:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:14:30I can take some.
00:14:31Come on.
00:14:32You are a troublemaker.
00:14:34Looks like he's off the hook.
00:14:35Hilary doesn't have a bun in the oven.
00:14:37She dumped him.
00:14:38Great. I'm so happy for him.
00:14:41I won two tickets to Paris.
00:14:44You mean virtual tickets?
00:14:47My sorority nominated me to go.
00:14:49And I got a new pet. Her name is Tattles.
00:14:51She's coming with me.
00:14:53Hmm. Is this your way of saying you want a cat?
00:14:55Oh, I'm going to the south of France.
00:14:58With my new boyfriend, Henri.
00:15:01Can I come too?
00:15:02Dumb question, Jen.
00:15:04What joy do you get in going to places that aren't real?
00:15:08The south of France is very real.
00:15:10Not to us.
00:15:13I'm not having this conversation.
00:15:16You never want to talk about it.
00:15:20Talk about what exactly?
00:15:21Our situation.
00:15:23Look, I was just reading in psychology.com,
00:15:25if you talk about your problems and get them out in the open,
00:15:28you're more apt to be a happier, healthier person
00:15:31than holding it inside.
00:15:32And that it's important for couples to have tough conversations,
00:15:35even if it causes friction between those you love.
00:15:39Do you really believe any of that BS?
00:15:41I mean, the individual who wrote that
00:15:43is obviously under some deadline to generate content
00:15:46so he doesn't lose his job and the life he worked so hard for
00:15:49and end up like us.
00:15:51But that's exactly my point.
00:15:52We're holding on to all this anger,
00:15:54and it's making us depressed.
00:15:56Holding things inside is not what's making me depressed.
00:16:00It's living like this that's making me depressed.
00:16:03It's...
00:16:05Well, we lost our house, and we can't even get jobs,
00:16:08and I don't even think we could get arrested if we wanted to.
00:16:11Oh, I could get arrested. That wouldn't be tough.
00:16:13See what I'm saying?
00:16:14You said you wanted to have a serious conversation,
00:16:16and you're just making jokes.
00:16:17Well, what am I supposed to do?
00:16:18Talk about it.
00:16:19Maybe making jokes is my way of venting.
00:16:21I think if I were to admit that our lives are going downhill,
00:16:25I wouldn't be able to cope.
00:16:26And now you're being defensive.
00:16:27I'm not being defensive.
00:16:28I'm not being defensive.
00:16:30And I do want to talk about it.
00:16:32No, you don't want to talk about it,
00:16:34because if you did want to talk about it, we'd talk about it.
00:16:38Okay, so talk about it. Now.
00:16:41I can't just do it on command.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:47Where are you going?
00:16:49Out.
00:16:51Okay, where is out exactly?
00:16:55Jen, you're really going?
00:16:58Yeah.
00:17:29You're not going to jump, are you?
00:17:34I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:40I was thinking about it.
00:17:44Can we go together?
00:17:47Like a suicide pact?
00:17:49No.
00:17:51I don't want to go.
00:17:53I don't want to go.
00:17:55I don't want to go.
00:17:57Like a suicide pact?
00:18:00Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:18:04You'd get over me.
00:18:05Wanna bet?
00:18:10Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:15Think we'd die on impact or in the air?
00:18:18We're not high enough to die mid-air.
00:18:20It would be on the splat.
00:18:21The splat?
00:18:22Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:24Is that like an official term?
00:18:26No, I made it up.
00:18:31That would be gross.
00:18:34Yeah, bloody.
00:18:37Body parts.
00:18:39Everywhere.
00:18:41Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:43If we end up, we're going to have to do it some other way.
00:18:46Sleeping pills.
00:18:48Not effective.
00:18:49You always hear about people ending up in comas.
00:18:52Gunshot to the temple.
00:18:55To the temple or the mouth?
00:18:58Because you might survive and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:14I want chips and salsa.
00:19:18That we could manage.
00:19:21Yeah.
00:19:27What would happen if you lived and I died?
00:19:30Or the other way around.
00:19:32If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36Deal.
00:21:22Hey.
00:21:25I think I figured it out.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:28Remember that trip we wanted to take to Paris?
00:21:31We take it.
00:21:34We're going to do everything that we wanted to do.
00:21:36We're going to eat when we want to eat.
00:21:37We're going to do what we want to do.
00:21:38Live high on the hog, no holds barred.
00:21:41Sounds great.
00:21:42We win the lottery?
00:21:43Not exactly.
00:21:45Okay, listen.
00:21:47We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:50We're going to spend it.
00:21:52We're going to do all the things we want to do.
00:21:54Live the life we were supposed to live before this crap happened to us and we ended up here.
00:21:58We're just going to enjoy ourselves.
00:21:59Okay.
00:22:00I thought that we were saving the credit, though, for when we actually ran out of money and needed to live.
00:22:05We were.
00:22:07But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:10The original plan would have only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:12I mean, those cards would have bought us eight months, ten months tops.
00:22:15And I'm being generous.
00:22:16I won't argue with you.
00:22:17You're a financial guru.
00:22:19So how do you pay it back?
00:22:21We don't.
00:22:23I'm confused.
00:22:25We're not going to pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:28I'm missing something.
00:22:29It's not like they're going to give us free money.
00:22:32Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:34Just hear me out, okay?
00:22:36Do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:38No, but...
00:22:39Do you think it's going to get better?
00:22:40I don't know if it would.
00:22:41It's not.
00:22:42It won't.
00:22:43I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:44We're not going to be out of debt until we're like over 55.
00:22:46And that's if we can find work.
00:22:47And that's the best case scenario.
00:22:48Don't ask me about the worst.
00:23:10There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:13It's all facts.
00:23:14It's all facts.
00:23:16This could be the only chance we have at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:20Are you serious?
00:23:22Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:24I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:26This is crazy.
00:23:28What's crazier?
00:23:30Living a wonderful six months with the person you love?
00:23:32Or living a lifetime of toil and fear and...
00:23:39I know what I'm going for.
00:23:42Maybe we should think about this a little bit more.
00:23:43I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:46I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:50So you're just going to go ahead and do it, whether I'm in or not?
00:23:54I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:57Maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:24:00I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:24:03A therapist isn't going to help our financial situation.
00:24:06And it's easy for the doctor to say,
00:24:09because he's going to go home to his beautiful suburban home with his white picket fence,
00:24:12which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:15And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:18So that's great.
00:24:21I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:24You know, I'm miserable too.
00:24:26I hate what we're experiencing, but I just...
00:24:28I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:33Hope is just a word that people use
00:24:35so they don't have to deal with the cold hard facts of the situation.
00:24:40Kevin, I...
00:24:44It's the logical decision.
00:24:47I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:50Fine. Great.
00:24:52Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:55You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:57Now where are you going?
00:24:59Out!
00:25:05Out!
00:25:35Out!
00:25:41How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:45I splurged.
00:25:46Caramel macchiato, 3.75.
00:25:50Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:58Can we go to Vegas?
00:26:01We always had a blast there.
00:26:03Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:08I don't know.
00:26:12What don't you know?
00:26:14I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:19I'd rather have six months with you
00:26:20than spend a lifetime wondering what those last six months would have been like.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:29Even though we're gonna off each other.
00:26:32That sounds really weird.
00:26:35How are we gonna do it, anyway?
00:26:37Like, who goes first?
00:26:39I don't know. We'll figure that out later.
00:26:42Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:52So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do.
00:26:55So our friends and family don't think we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:58I love how you have it all figured out.
00:27:01Just doing what makes sense. It's logical.
00:27:04Finding what seems logical today.
00:27:06Yeah.
00:27:10Come on.
00:27:13Is it on?
00:27:14How do I know?
00:27:15The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:17And we're recording.
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:28That sounds dramatic.
00:27:31Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:27:33This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:27:37You probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:41Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:44But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:46Yeah. If we're going downhill anyway, why not be the masters of our fate and decide when and how we go under?
00:27:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:56Spend what we want, when we want.
00:27:57Yeah. Do all the things we wanted to do, but now, given the circumstances, won't get a chance to.
00:28:02So, here we are, kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:28:06You have anything else to say?
00:28:08No.
00:28:10I do miss everyone.
00:28:12Just know that we had a really great time these last few months.
00:28:15Yeah. Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:28:18I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just want you to know I thought about you every day.
00:28:23Okay.
00:28:27We should probably shut it off now.
00:28:41So, now that we are free, we just have to figure out what to do.
00:28:45Uh-huh.
00:28:47South of France.
00:28:49Yes.
00:28:50I don't want to see the topless beaches again.
00:28:52No. I appreciate French art.
00:28:54Uh-huh. Right.
00:28:56Your turn, then.
00:28:58Africa. I've always wanted to see the lion in its natural habitat.
00:29:01You have big bugs there. That's not high on my list.
00:29:03Come on.
00:29:05Horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City?
00:29:07That's touristy.
00:29:09Oh, and going on safari isn't. Come on.
00:29:11African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:13Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:15All right, Mr. Travel Guide, what is the ultimate experience you could think of doing that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:20Stay on the space station.
00:29:22Yeah. It's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:24Okay. Dodger tickets. Box seats.
00:29:28Yeah. We can do that.
00:29:31Caribbean. British Virgin Islands.
00:29:34I want to walk on the white sand, and I just want to feel the sand in my hands, and you, and the sun, and just relax.
00:29:46I want to drive fast.
00:29:48Okay.
00:29:50Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:52We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:54Yeah. I would do that. I would totally do that.
00:29:57I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:59Well, what's the worst that could happen?
00:30:01Okay, fair enough.
00:30:03Maybe we make that one of the last things we do, just in case it doesn't, you know, go as planned.
00:30:09Yeah.
00:30:11I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:14And drink really expensive champagne. Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18That sounds fantastic.
00:30:20Dangle grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23Yeah. Sure.
00:30:26It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:29Are we really going to do this, you know?
00:30:32I'm ready.
00:30:34Are you?
00:30:50I'm ready.
00:31:21I feel kind of free. Is that strange?
00:31:24No. No, it's a relief, kind of, to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:29You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:31We need rules.
00:31:33Good point.
00:31:39Can you give your whole life to me?
00:31:42I don't know.
00:31:44I don't know.
00:31:46I don't know.
00:31:49You give your whole life thinking that you need to work and make a living.
00:31:54Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:58Golden years retirement.
00:32:00It just doesn't work like that.
00:32:03What's the one thing you would have done if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:08It's been so long since I've done anything irresponsible.
00:32:12I don't know.
00:32:13Well, what are you feeling right now?
00:32:17I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel on the beach.
00:32:21The kind of place you have to take it alone to pay the bill.
00:32:23Yeah, yeah. The place where they put the little chocolates on the pillows.
00:32:25And all the toiletries you could ever need in the bathroom.
00:32:27Yes.
00:32:28The fuzzy bathrobes.
00:32:29And order room service. Everything on the menu.
00:32:31Yes, yes, yes. Even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:33And the wine that's really expensive, but not that good, but really expensive.
00:32:35And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:37Yes, and not care how much it costs.
00:32:39I want to see you in that expensive hotel for the next week.
00:32:58Don't forget to bring your swimming trunks.
00:33:02I'm thinking we take that pool naked.
00:33:05I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further than that.
00:33:07Exactly, exactly.
00:33:09Why don't we have everything in my...
00:33:10Oh, I cannot wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:12You hungry?
00:33:13Five stars. Pretty hungry. I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:16Hey.
00:33:17What?
00:33:18Let's have you wear your A's hat today.
00:33:19I don't like the A's.
00:33:20You do too.
00:33:22I hate the A's.
00:33:23Everyone loves the A's.
00:33:24I really hate them, actually. You can wear that.
00:33:26Um, can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:29You have to bring linen pants. We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:31Oh my gosh.
00:33:32You have to bring linen pants. We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34Oh my gosh. This is going to be awesome. And my white shoes.
00:33:37Your seersucker pants.
00:33:38Buckled, yeah.
00:33:39I don't know where those are. I think we may have gotten rid of those.
00:33:41I'm kind of ready. I'm in a fruity drink mood, you know?
00:33:43Yeah.
00:33:53You okay?
00:33:54Yeah.
00:33:55You don't need too much.
00:33:56Let's go. Pool time.
00:33:58Let's do it. A little pool party?
00:34:00Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:02I'm going to kind of miss it.
00:34:03Even if it's only for a little while.
00:34:05The roaches?
00:34:06The strange clanging noise at two in the morning?
00:34:08Don't forget our landlady, Ms. Volker.
00:34:10She had the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:12Yeah, I know.
00:34:15It's not wide around here.
00:34:17Let's get out of here.
00:34:20They have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:21Oh yeah?
00:34:22Yes.
00:34:23Would you like to eat there?
00:34:24I would.
00:34:25All right.
00:34:26Would you?
00:34:27Immediately, or do you...
00:34:28We can check in.
00:34:29Can we check in?
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:31What?
00:34:36We're home.
00:34:40It's going to be good.
00:34:41Not bad.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:52Cheers.
00:35:02So, Kevin.
00:35:04How are you feeling right now?
00:35:06I like being on vacation.
00:35:07Miss our apartment?
00:35:09Does the dog miss the pound?
00:35:12All right, my turn. Hand it over.
00:35:22I think we made the right decision.
00:35:24Definitely.
00:35:25Most outrageously priced hotel in the city.
00:35:27Where else can you get that $10 bar of chocolate?
00:35:29I meant about us.
00:35:32Definitely.
00:35:33No regrets.
00:35:36I get to spend some quality time
00:35:37with the person I care about the most.
00:35:40And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:43We can grow old and miserable alone, probably,
00:35:46because one of us will go first.
00:35:48Penniless.
00:35:50Or we can be in control of how and when it ends.
00:35:54Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:55And what's that?
00:35:57To spend the last moments of your life
00:35:59with the person that you love.
00:36:04So, what's next?
00:36:07Sushi.
00:36:08Oh.
00:36:09I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:11Okay.
00:36:12I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:13None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:14Let's do it.
00:36:15I just want to order everything.
00:36:16Everything.
00:36:17And not even worry about the cost.
00:36:18I want to get some of the ultra overpriced...
00:36:20Toro.
00:36:21Toro.
00:36:22You love that.
00:36:23Okay.
00:36:24Really?
00:36:25Yes.
00:36:26We're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:28So, we're really doing this?
00:36:30Yeah.
00:36:31Okay.
00:36:33Oh, boy.
00:36:34Anything wrong?
00:36:36Oh, Brian is...
00:36:37You know what?
00:36:38I don't want to know.
00:36:39Just...
00:36:41Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:43Okay?
00:36:44I'm starving, actually.
00:36:46Finish these drinks and go get sushi.
00:36:48Cop in the pool?
00:36:50Okay.
00:36:51You first.
00:36:52I'll show you my California roll.
00:36:54Let's check out this pool.
00:36:55Here.
00:36:56Give me that.
00:36:58Let me hold your drink.
00:37:01Wait.
00:37:02It looks good, doesn't it?
00:37:03It does.
00:37:08I had to do it.
00:37:09I'm sorry.
00:37:11Is it warm?
00:37:15You coming in?
00:37:16I don't know.
00:37:17I have to test it first.
00:37:18Down here.
00:37:20Such a lady.
00:37:21Don't.
00:37:22Get away.
00:37:23Get away.
00:37:29It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:30Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:51It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:52Yeah, it is.
00:38:21It's good, isn't it?
00:38:43It's been so long since I had salmon.
00:38:45It's so good.
00:38:47I want to save this moment.
00:38:51No, don't.
00:38:56Everyone's going to think I'm a pig.
00:38:57Turn it off.
00:38:58We love to watch you eat.
00:38:59Bite me.
00:39:02So, how was the sushi meal?
00:39:05Good, considering the last six months all we've had is peanut butter and canned tuna.
00:39:11It's amazing.
00:39:16What's wrong?
00:39:18Nothing's wrong.
00:39:19Turn it off.
00:39:19What?
00:39:20Turn it off.
00:39:22What is it?
00:39:24We haven't been this happy in a long time.
00:39:33Remember last time we were at this exact counter?
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:36Celebrating my first commission as an architect.
00:39:38I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:40Yeah, I remember. You got your promotion after that.
00:39:42And we used the bonus as the money for our down payment on the house.
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:46We had some great times there.
00:39:50Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves with raw fish until we burst?
00:39:54So, let's do that.
00:39:56What else are we getting?
00:39:58Everything. Everything. We're at the beginning.
00:40:01Yes.
00:40:03That was good.
00:40:05Is Brian the only one that texts you?
00:40:07He was the only one of our friends that didn't mind we were in the poorhouse.
00:40:10I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:14We should have done that a long time ago.
00:40:16We always have the best ideas.
00:40:21I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:22That last tuna hand roll put me over the edge.
00:40:25It was good, though.
00:40:26I'm losing my physique.
00:40:28You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:29Shut up.
00:40:31I want shoes.
00:40:32Designer shoes.
00:40:34Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:35Robertson Boulevard?
00:40:37Jennifer is en route.
00:40:40I like that coat.
00:40:41That would look good on you.
00:40:42Yeah?
00:40:43Ooh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:45What are we going to get in there?
00:40:46Are we going to get matching coats?
00:40:47No.
00:40:48I think we should walk the whole thing and come up with a plan.
00:40:51No, I think I'm just going to go in every store.
00:40:54Excellent.
00:40:55That's the plan, I think.
00:40:57Would you please define Hog Wild for us?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00That is when you can go in any store and buy any high-end fashion piece of clothing you want
00:41:04and not care how much it costs.
00:41:06Let's go.
00:41:18Let's go.
00:41:43What do you think about this one?
00:41:46Yes, very cute.
00:41:47New rack of shoes on sale, but we don't care about prices, so it doesn't matter.
00:41:55Get rid of it.
00:41:56There you go.
00:41:58Actually, I like these.
00:41:59These are super cute.
00:42:01Those are very you.
00:42:03Yeah, these are fun.
00:42:05Yeah?
00:42:06Kind of rockabilly.
00:42:07Would you do that?
00:42:08Totally.
00:42:09See, I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:10You like black.
00:42:11You do.
00:42:12I do.
00:42:15Let's go try these on.
00:42:17Let's do it.
00:42:22So, I'm going to try this one on.
00:42:23Yeah, you do.
00:42:25Try it on.
00:42:37Looks like you've changed.
00:42:39I'm trying on some new clothes.
00:42:41First time in a long time.
00:42:48Turn it off.
00:42:49I don't need to see that.
00:42:55I can't wait to wear these.
00:42:57Yes, let's go put them on.
00:42:59Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:02It was a lot of shopping.
00:43:07It used to be us.
00:43:09What?
00:43:11Moving at light speed, aiming for the stars.
00:43:14Brilliant light beckoning us.
00:43:15Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future
00:43:16that was never to be.
00:43:19You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:21Oh, my minor was English Lit.
00:43:23Oh, I was there when you failed your final
00:43:25in Miss Urban Legends and Dreams.
00:43:27That's not fair.
00:43:28That is not fair.
00:43:29Professor Ballantine had it out for me from the beginning
00:43:31because she overheard me talking about her nasty divorce.
00:43:34You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:36I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:37Barely.
00:43:38I think you had to ask me out like over 26 times.
00:43:40You were counting?
00:43:42Most guys would have told you.
00:43:43Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:45I was committed.
00:43:47But aren't you happy now?
00:43:49Yeah.
00:43:51I get to spend the rest of my life with the man I adore.
00:43:55And then end it with him.
00:43:57The work the girl asked for.
00:44:05Let me see who it is.
00:44:06Who could it be?
00:44:07Oh, I wish you would not.
00:44:08Let me see.
00:44:09The Brian?
00:44:11Sense a little hostility?
00:44:13Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:15Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:16Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:19What are you offering in return?
00:44:23I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:29I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:31Mm-mm.
00:44:40Mm-mm.
00:44:46No, I think you are.
00:44:56Okay.
00:44:57What's next?
00:44:59You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:45:01I guess, yeah.
00:45:03So let's go?
00:45:04At this moment?
00:45:05Yeah.
00:45:06We can't. We don't have reservations.
00:45:07We just get in the car and go.
00:45:10Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:12No, I just bought some clothes.
00:45:13We can buy clothes there.
00:45:15We just go.
00:45:16I can live with that.
00:45:19When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:21Maybe I always was and you just didn't notice.
00:45:24I think in four years of marriage I might have noticed.
00:45:27Well, that was before when I thought we had a future.
00:45:30You know, it doesn't really matter.
00:45:31We can just live in the moment.
00:45:35I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:37It's a bummer that it's going to be over so soon.
00:45:40It ends for everyone.
00:45:42We just know now when.
00:45:47So let's go.
00:45:48All right. Let's do it.
00:45:49Vegas.
00:45:51Vegas.
00:45:59In four hours I'm going to be sitting by a pool and sipping on Mai Tai.
00:46:04This will not do.
00:46:05This will not do.
00:46:07What?
00:46:08We need an upgrade.
00:46:10We need new wheels.
00:46:36We need new wheels.
00:46:38We need new wheels.
00:47:06You can fly with the Oscar.
00:47:09I will be first and you'll be last too.
00:47:12The sun sets quicker every day.
00:47:16It's such a waste of time.
00:47:18Too bad we didn't get the Lamborghini, huh?
00:47:20Yeah, we're really slowing it now.
00:47:22Yeah.
00:47:23It's okay. I like living out my high school muscle car fantasies.
00:47:26Yeah, just like every other red-blooded American male.
00:47:29Next thing you know, we're going to be watching football and eating steak.
00:47:32Absolutely.
00:47:36So, Kevin, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get to the City of Sin?
00:47:41I think you better turn the camera off for this answer.
00:47:43I'm thinking everyone wants to know.
00:47:45Uh-uh. This is a PG suicide log.
00:47:47I want to know. I think everyone wants to know.
00:47:51I'm going to shoot craps and then move on to roulette.
00:47:56Yeah, right. Come on.
00:47:58Honestly?
00:47:59Mm-hmm.
00:48:00This is kind of embarrassing.
00:48:01Who cares? We're going to be gone.
00:48:03That's true.
00:48:05All right, first we're going to check in.
00:48:07Okay.
00:48:10And then we're going to go up to the room, open the door, and then I'm going to kiss you passionately.
00:48:17Tell me about the kiss.
00:48:19Passionately.
00:48:20Do we really have to do this?
00:48:22Come on. Yes, yes.
00:48:24Okay.
00:48:27Then as I throw you on the bed, I'm going to tear the clothes from you.
00:48:32I'm going to start kissing you everywhere.
00:48:35Every inch of you.
00:48:37I'm just going to work my way down every curve and rediscover your womanhood.
00:48:43Every inch.
00:48:45You're a bad Kevin Elford. Bad boy.
00:49:03And we're going to ride the wave of gossip as you are.
00:49:07You can plot on if you're hosted on.
00:49:10I will be first. I could be last.
00:49:13Sometimes quicker every day.
00:49:17If this is a waste of time, I will just walk away.
00:49:29Well, you can see right through him.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:32Remember what happened in this very spot?
00:49:34No.
00:49:35You don't remember?
00:49:38I do.
00:49:39You proposed to me right over there.
00:49:41Actually, I think it was right over there.
00:49:45Did you mean what you said in the car?
00:49:47Mm-hmm.
00:49:57Well, it's not quite around here.
00:49:59I feel like this is our wedding night.
00:50:01I can't wait to see the room.
00:50:02I hope they have a jacuzzi.
00:50:04Vegas!
00:50:06That's mine.
00:50:31Oh, my God.
00:51:01Oh, my God.
00:51:31Oh, my God.
00:52:02Oh, my God.
00:52:28Let's get your diamonds.
00:52:29Yeah, let's.
00:52:30Real ones.
00:52:31These are not expensive enough.
00:52:33But we could get you a cicada.
00:52:34That'd be gorgeous on you.
00:52:35That's a locust.
00:52:36Right here.
00:52:37Isn't that the same thing?
00:52:38I'm thinking no.
00:52:39I'm thinking let's press on to the more expensive stuff.
00:52:41The more expensive stuff.
00:52:42Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:44Let's gamble.
00:52:45Woo-hoo!
00:52:48Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:50And do what?
00:52:54Milady.
00:52:55Now, what was it you said?
00:52:56No, Chuck.
00:52:57No, no.
00:52:58What did you say?
00:53:00I don't want to ever be with anyone else.
00:53:05Let's get married again.
00:53:07What?
00:53:09What did you say?
00:53:10I mean, take vows.
00:53:11Tell each other we're going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.
00:53:14That's what I thought you said.
00:53:16It's kind of like I can't even say I love you to me.
00:53:18Nope.
00:53:23Oh.
00:53:24Oh.
00:53:25Kevin.
00:53:26Alfred.
00:53:28Kevin, do you love me?
00:53:30You know I do.
00:53:32Then say those three little words.
00:53:36I think you already know the answer to that.
00:53:38I think you should say it.
00:53:42I love you.
00:53:43I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:45Say it again.
00:53:47Attention, everyone.
00:53:49I love this woman.
00:53:51I love this woman.
00:53:53I love this woman more than any man has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:58Oh, my God.
00:53:59Does that work for you?
00:54:01You think that's the wine talking?
00:54:03I kept up my end of the bargain.
00:54:07You're crazy.
00:54:11Will you marry me?
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:19Good.
00:54:20Let's go.
00:54:22You should remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:24I didn't get to it at our first wedding.
00:54:26At our first wedding?
00:54:27Yeah.
00:54:32And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada,
00:54:35once again in front of the altar of marriage.
00:54:38Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again to be your wedded wife?
00:54:41I do.
00:54:43And do you still promise to love and honor, respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:48I do.
00:54:49Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer, for their love for each other,
00:54:51their commitment to each other,
00:54:53and the celebration of four years of holy matrimony together.
00:54:57We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength to live up to the sacred vows
00:55:01that they are taking again here today.
00:55:03As we ask you to bless these rings and their exchangers,
00:55:06may they continue to rise and may all of them be blessed.
00:55:09Amen.
00:55:11Amen.
00:55:12Amen.
00:55:13Amen.
00:55:14Amen.
00:55:15Amen.
00:55:16Amen.
00:55:17Amen.
00:55:18Amen.
00:55:19Amen.
00:55:20Amen.
00:55:21Amen.
00:55:22Amen.
00:55:23Amen.
00:55:24Amen.
00:55:25Amen.
00:55:26Amen.
00:55:27Amen.
00:55:28Amen.
00:55:29Amen.
00:55:30Amen.
00:55:31Amen.
00:55:32Amen.
00:55:33Amen.
00:55:34Amen.
00:55:35Amen.
00:55:36Amen.
00:55:37Amen.
00:55:38Amen.
00:55:39Amen.
00:55:40Amen.
00:55:41Amen.
00:55:42Amen.
00:55:43Amen.
00:55:44Amen.
00:55:45Amen.
00:55:46Amen.
00:55:47Amen.
00:55:48Amen.
00:55:49Amen.
00:55:50Amen.
00:55:51Amen.
00:55:52Amen.
00:55:53Amen.
00:55:54Amen.
00:55:55Amen.
00:55:56Amen.
00:55:57Amen.
00:55:58Amen.
00:55:59Amen.
00:56:00Amen.
00:56:01Amen.
00:56:02Amen.
00:56:03Amen.
00:56:04Amen.
00:56:05Amen.
00:56:06Amen.
00:56:07Amen.
00:56:08Amen.
00:56:09Amen.
00:56:10Amen.
00:56:11Amen.
00:56:12Amen.
00:56:13Amen.
00:56:14Amen.
00:56:15Amen.
00:56:16Happy Holidays.
00:56:17Whoa!
00:56:18Luxury suite, baby.
00:56:19Happy Honeymoon.
00:56:20Ahhh, L.K.
00:56:21Holy shit.
00:56:22And we've ordered a new shirt today.
00:56:31Happy honeymoon.
00:56:34Uh...
00:56:40Brain hurts.
00:56:42Mm-hmm.
00:56:44Maybe we didn't need that gold schlager,
00:56:47followed by that Jagermeister.
00:56:49That's a winning combination.
00:56:52For a hangover.
00:56:54Mm-hmm.
00:56:57How'd you end up down there?
00:57:01I think I found your me in the night.
00:57:06I'd do it again.
00:57:31Hey.
00:57:34Cheers.
00:57:45Jane, can we move here forever?
00:57:49Vegas is everything.
00:57:51Good food, good people, good vices.
00:57:56Where else can you get crab legs at 2 in the morning
00:57:58and then shoot traps until dawn?
00:58:00Nowhere.
00:58:01Your point?
00:58:02My point is that Vegas is paradise,
00:58:05and I don't want to leave.
00:58:10Are you serious about going through with it?
00:58:13Yes, I was.
00:58:16I am.
00:58:17How much longer do we have?
00:58:20I don't know.
00:58:21Give or take a month,
00:58:22depending on how much we have left on our credit cards.
00:58:25How much are we going through?
00:58:27I'd say like six or eight grand.
00:58:29Six or eight grand?
00:58:31Living like rock stars is expensive, Kevin.
00:58:34Yeah, I know, but it's not like we rented jets
00:58:37or threw parties or...
00:58:42Are you having second thoughts?
00:58:45Honestly?
00:58:52No.
00:58:55I mean, kind of. Yeah.
00:58:58It made me sound like a good idea when you came up with it.
00:59:01You think it's going to get better?
00:59:03I don't know.
00:59:04It's not. We've...
00:59:06We've already gone over this.
00:59:15Would you do it without me?
00:59:17No. No.
00:59:20No.
00:59:23We're in this together.
00:59:28And so, Kevin and Jennifer make their way from the city of sin
00:59:32onto the next leg of their adventure.
00:59:35Where will these wandering souls end up?
00:59:37The next stop of the intrepid adventurers will be...
00:59:41What's next on the list?
00:59:43I don't know. Let me look.
00:59:45Next on the list was African safari,
00:59:48followed by the trip to the south of France,
00:59:51and then the Outback of Australia.
00:59:53I vote Outback.
00:59:55No, that would be diverging from the plan.
00:59:57Yeah, but we're not set in stone. We can diverge from the plan.
01:00:00Ah, you know me. Once I make a plan, I like to stick to it.
01:00:02Yeah, you like to stick to it.
01:00:04But there's all kinds of crazy diseases we could catch.
01:00:06You know, like Ebola, where you bleed out all your orifices?
01:00:09No, they have shots for that.
01:00:10No, they don't. It's one of those diseases where there's no cure.
01:00:13Once you get it, you're gone.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:18Hi, Mom.
01:00:20I'm here. I'm getting your room ready for you.
01:00:22Um, I don't know if we're going to make it for Thanksgiving anymore.
01:00:25Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
01:00:27We just, we can't afford the plane tickets.
01:00:29Well, we'll miss you both very much.
01:00:31Thank you. I appreciate that.
01:00:33Is your husband still looking for work?
01:00:35Yes, he's looking. No job leads yet, I told you.
01:00:38I've got to run. The plumber just arrived. Love you.
01:00:40All right. I love you, too.
01:00:43You actually just lied to your mother?
01:00:45What was I supposed to tell her?
01:00:47That we're planning on offing each other and we won't be around come turkey day?
01:00:50Yeah, that would have played out well.
01:00:52Oh, come on. Your mom would have taken it in stride.
01:00:54Not funny.
01:01:15I love you.
01:01:45I love you, too.
01:02:15I love you, too.
01:02:46I love you.
01:03:00None of the cards are working.
01:03:09You can't cancel those cards. There are cards.
01:03:11I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do.
01:03:14I can't turn them on, sir. I just can't...
01:03:16What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:18You can reapply for the credit line.
01:03:20No, I'm not going to reapply. Those are our cards. I need those cards.
01:03:22I'm sorry, sir. There's nothing I can do.
01:03:24No, no, I'm sorry. No.
01:03:26You know, you have a nice day.
01:03:28Thank you for being a customer.
01:03:30No, thank you for ruining the rest of what's left of my life.
01:03:34They can't cancel those cards. There are cards.
01:03:38Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:41You don't seem like it.
01:03:43How are we supposed to pay for anything?
01:03:45We can't pay for Paris or the Outback
01:03:47or the safari with our good looks alone.
01:03:51Maybe you could, because you're so pretty.
01:03:53As pretty as Beth.
01:03:55What?
01:04:03What are we going to do?
01:04:05No, Kevin, the question is, what are you going to do about Beth having your baby?
01:04:10What are you talking about?
01:04:12Who's Beth?
01:04:14Because you got a text message from her while you were pumping gas
01:04:16and she mentioned how nicely she's coming along
01:04:18and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:20And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin,
01:04:22or was that just not with me?
01:04:24Is that it?
01:04:26No.
01:04:30When were you going to tell me you were going to be a father, huh?
01:04:32We could have thrown a party.
01:04:34It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:36You've got to have some consideration
01:04:38when you're flying in from out of town.
01:04:40But then again, Kevin,
01:04:42consideration was never one of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:46Or you could have had the party local for her.
01:04:48Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:50Where is she from?
01:04:52Let's see, area code 609,
01:04:54serving all of Greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:56What are you doing hooking up with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:05:00Wouldn't you want someone closer for easier access?
01:05:04I know.
01:05:06When you were working on that condo development,
01:05:10your credit card bill seemed a little high.
01:05:12You know, if you're ever going to
01:05:14cheat on anyone again, Kevin, you should consider
01:05:16using cash for your extramarital affairs.
01:05:18That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:22You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:24I especially like the one about
01:05:26your love muscle.
01:05:28Or how you want to take her doggy style.
01:05:30Or how you want to have
01:05:32a threesome with her.
01:05:34Which you said, of course, that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:36So were you lying to me, or to her,
01:05:38or to all of us? Huh?
01:05:42God, are you even capable of being committed
01:05:44to one person, Kevin?
01:05:50Turn that off.
01:05:52Why, Kevin? Turn that off! Why should I?
01:05:54See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin. Does that help us?
01:05:56Turn it off!
01:05:58You know what?
01:06:00And to answer your question about earlier,
01:06:02it's not about what are we going to do,
01:06:04it's not about we anymore, because we are getting divorced.
01:06:06Fine. Fine.
01:06:08Yeah, it's fine that you just act like a complete
01:06:10douchebag and break my heart.
01:06:22Let's just go. Drives.
01:06:32Let's go.
01:06:52How could you do this?
01:06:54You want to know how I could do it?
01:06:56Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:58Because how could I want to be with someone
01:07:00who was needling me about everything?
01:07:02Everything had to be so planned out.
01:07:04Everything was a number, you know?
01:07:06There was no plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:08You know, there was never any
01:07:10spontaneity.
01:07:12You slept with someone else because I wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:16I made a mistake, alright?
01:07:18You call getting your girlfriend pregnant
01:07:20a mistake?
01:07:22She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:24Pull over.
01:07:26What?
01:07:28Pull over!
01:07:54Jen, what are you doing?
01:07:56Go away, Kevin.
01:07:58You can't just walk away.
01:08:00I can do whatever I want, just like you can.
01:08:02You'll die out here.
01:08:04Good! Wasn't that the plan anyway?
01:08:06I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:08Sorry about what you said or
01:08:10sorry about what you did?
01:08:12Both.
01:08:14What were you thinking?
01:08:18I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:20I want a divorce.
01:08:24You're gonna throw our marriage over this?
01:08:26You already did.
01:08:30Who is she?
01:08:32She's just someone I met.
01:08:34Great.
01:08:36You're having a baby with someone you don't even know?
01:08:38Are you out of your mind?
01:08:40I screwed up. I'm sorry.
01:08:42Me too.
01:08:44Look, it was nothing. It was just one time.
01:08:46It wasn't even serious.
01:08:48Great. Awesome. So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:50Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:52It's freezing out here.
01:08:54Good. I hope you freeze to death.
01:09:00Just take me home.
01:09:20Look,
01:09:22I know this may not be the best time to talk about this,
01:09:24but what are we gonna do with whatever money we spent?
01:09:26I'll pay it back.
01:09:28How?
01:09:30I don't know, Kevin,
01:09:32but I'm not gonna end my life
01:09:34with someone who obviously didn't want to spend it with me.
01:09:40I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:42Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:46If I didn't love you, would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:50You weren't gonna do it out of love for me.
01:09:52We were both miserable.
01:09:54I was only gonna go through with it because of you.
01:09:56Don't give me that. You're just as miserable as me.
01:09:58You were just looking for a way out, and I gave it to you.
01:10:00We agreed we were gonna do it together.
01:10:02Yeah, well, that was before all this.
01:10:04You're gonna do it alone?
01:10:06Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:08What about our plans?
01:10:12I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and miserable
01:10:14than end my life with you.
01:10:16But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself, go ahead.
01:10:18Okay.
01:10:24I will, then.
01:10:26Fine.
01:10:28And don't expect me to feel guilty about it,
01:10:30because I won't.
01:10:32You want to know how I'm gonna do it?
01:10:34No, I don't care.
01:10:36Oh, you don't care at all how I'm gonna...
01:10:38No, and when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:40I'll get my stuff later.
01:10:42Where are you going?
01:10:44That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:48Jen,
01:10:50I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:52Please, just don't talk to me
01:10:54for the duration of this trip.
01:11:18Jennifer, wait.
01:11:20Wait. Just hear me out.
01:11:22Please reconsider.
01:11:24I have to go.
01:11:26Talk about this.
01:11:28I know what I did was really stupid,
01:11:30but it was never meant to be more than just a...
01:11:32Just a fling?
01:11:34I know I sound pathetic and you hate me now, but...
01:11:36Yeah, you got that right. On both counts.
01:11:38Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:42Goodbye, Kevin.
01:11:48Bye.
01:12:18Bye.
01:12:48Bye.
01:13:18Bye.
01:13:48Bye.
01:14:18Hey, Jennifer, you know what to do.
01:14:20Hey, Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:14:22Uh,
01:14:24probably already knew that.
01:14:26Anyway,
01:14:28just give me a call
01:14:30when you get this.
01:14:32It'll be great.
01:14:34Okay, bye.
01:14:48Hey, Jennifer,
01:14:50you know what to do.
01:14:52Hey, Jen,
01:14:54it's me, Kevin.
01:14:56Haven't heard from you.
01:14:58It's just...
01:15:00Give me a call when you get this.
01:15:12Hey, Jen,
01:15:14it's Kevin.
01:15:16Sorry to bother you.
01:15:18Some more bills showed up,
01:15:20so I just...
01:15:22I was thinking that we should
01:15:24talk at some point.
01:15:28Hope you're doing well.
01:15:30Okay, call me back.
01:15:32Bye.
01:15:40Hey, Jennifer,
01:15:42you know what to do.
01:15:44Hey, Jen, uh...
01:15:48I love you.
01:15:50I miss you.
01:16:08Hi, I'm Kevin Alpern.
01:16:10I royally screwed up.
01:16:12I did some
01:16:14really stupid things.
01:16:16Originally,
01:16:18Jennifer and I were gonna end it together,
01:16:20but after careful thought,
01:16:22I decided to go it alone.
01:16:28I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her.
01:16:30I do love her,
01:16:32but that's not the reason I'm doing it.
01:16:34I just have that hunch
01:16:36that things aren't gonna get better.
01:16:38I mean, you know my story.
01:16:40Credit card debt up the wazoo,
01:16:42and...
01:16:44pretty soon, I won't even be living here.
01:16:46You know, this will feel like luxury
01:16:48compared to what's next.
01:16:52I don't even want to think about the future.
01:17:04I got an eviction notice today.
01:17:06They were gonna kick me out of here.
01:17:08Well, that's the landlord.
01:17:12I like people who keep their promises.
01:17:28Well, I'm officially homeless now.
01:17:30Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:39It's kind of liberating in a way.
01:17:41No bills,
01:17:43no rules to follow,
01:17:45no responsibilities.
01:17:49Yeah, maybe I made
01:17:51some mistakes.
01:17:53Or all some very big
01:17:55errors in judgment.
01:18:05It'll be okay.
01:18:09This is my new home.
01:18:12Spacious, huh?
01:18:16I'm gonna make a fun seat in the kitchen,
01:18:18and the...
01:18:20the back seat's gonna be
01:18:22the living room and the bedroom.
01:18:35I miss her.
01:18:38What can I say?
01:19:08I miss her.
01:19:38I miss her.
01:20:05Kevin?
01:20:07What are you doing here?
01:20:09Oh, I was just passing by.
01:20:11Really?
01:20:13Yeah.
01:20:16I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:18Really?
01:20:20Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:22Um, I've been getting a lot of calls
01:20:24about collections.
01:20:26I think we should figure out a way to pay them back.
01:20:28Yeah, we probably should.
01:20:34So, how have you been?
01:20:37I've been really good.
01:20:39Yeah? Yeah.
01:20:44I've been miserable.
01:20:46I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:48I've been living in my car
01:20:50for a while.
01:20:53I'm actually still living in my car.
01:20:57Uh, I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:21:01No calls back yet, but...
01:21:04I'm really sorry, Kevin.
01:21:07Oh, don't be.
01:21:10Something to be said for downward mobility.
01:21:12You know? There's a freedom in it.
01:21:17How about you?
01:21:19Um, I...
01:21:21got hired by a new
01:21:23financial planning firm.
01:21:25I had to take a pay cut, but...
01:21:27I'm not complaining.
01:21:29That's great. Good.
01:21:31You deserve it. Congratulations.
01:21:33Yeah.
01:21:35I guess I should thank you for being a total jerk-off.
01:21:38I guess, you know, if I'd gone along with the plan...
01:21:42I don't know.
01:21:44Mm.
01:21:51Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:53Why do you care?
01:21:55Just wondering.
01:21:57No.
01:21:59Not that it's any of your business. We're separated.
01:22:02Right. You're totally right.
01:22:04None of my business.
01:22:08Guess you're not planning on killing yourself now, huh?
01:22:11No. No.
01:22:13I don't know what I was thinking with that.
01:22:15I...
01:22:17I have my whole life to pay off those debts.
01:22:19I'll... just figure it out.
01:22:22Move on.
01:22:25We... we did have a good time.
01:22:30We did.
01:22:39Well, it was really good seeing you.
01:22:41You too.
01:22:48Jennifer.
01:22:51If there was someone I'd want to kill myself with,
01:22:53it would be you.
01:22:55Because I don't think I'd want to live my life without you.
01:22:58When you first came up with this crazy plan,
01:23:00I went along with it because I didn't think we would go through with it,
01:23:03but this time apart has reminded me why I fell in love with you.
01:23:07Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:23:11If you can find any way to forgive me,
01:23:14I will do anything in my power to make it up to you.
01:23:17I love you so much, Jennifer.
01:23:19I love you too, Kevin.
01:23:29I'd like to say that's what I said to her.
01:23:32But I didn't.
01:23:34Good luck with your new position.
01:23:36Hey, things will get better.
01:23:38Keep your head up.
01:23:58I love you.
01:24:19Jennifer moved on with her life.
01:24:22You know, workaholic that she is,
01:24:24but she chose it, her job,
01:24:26and fell in love with someone that deserved her.
01:24:33As for me,
01:24:36I stuck to the plan.
01:24:38I love you.
01:25:09And all I feel is so much faith
01:25:13From learning how to survive
01:25:17And all I got is one more chance
01:25:21I hope it doesn't die
01:25:26We were colored blue
01:25:29And all are in me
01:25:33All on you
01:25:35We were colored blue
01:25:38Fall on me
01:25:41Fall into you
01:25:44piano solo
01:26:00See how the air
01:26:04Is white and calm
01:26:09The lines on her face
01:26:12Mean she's getting old
01:26:17And all I feel is so much hope
01:26:21From learning how to survive
01:26:25And all I got is one last dance
01:26:29I hope it ends tonight
01:26:37We were colored blue
01:26:40And all are in me
01:26:58I'm never on time
01:27:02I'm never too late
01:27:06I'm never too shy
01:27:10I'm never too safe
01:27:14But nothing is real
01:27:18Our love is not fake
01:27:22Always a big deal
01:27:26So give me a break
01:27:34Like a runaway train
01:27:36To the other side
01:27:41Just trying to get
01:27:42a little sunshine
01:27:49Like a runaway train
01:27:50To the other side
01:27:57Just trying to get
01:27:58a little sunshine
01:28:10drums, bass, & guitar play rock