Transform Relationships with Daily Stoic Wisdom

Vitues of Stoicism

In this video, we delve into Stoic philosophy to help you become a priority in your relationships. Drawing on the teachings of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and insights from Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic, we explore strategies rooted in modern Stoicism. Key Stoic principles, such as controlling your own actions, cultivating self-worth, and the Stoic art of limiting availability, empower you to influence how others perceive and value you. We also emphasize the importance of personal boundaries, self-respect, and the willingness to walk away when not treated as a priority. Like, share, and subscribe for more insights on Stoicism.  Timestamps: 1. 00:00 - Introduction: Stoic Philosophy for Becoming a Priority 2. 01:25 - Create the Fear of Losing You: A Daily Stoic Insight 3. 03:50 - Importance of Limited Availability: Wisdom from The Stoics 4. 06:15 - Maintain Mystery: Epictetus’ Teachings 5. 08:40 - Allow Them to Invest in You: Marcus Aurelius on Stoicism 6. 11:05 - Prioritize Your Own Needs: Lessons from Seneca and Stoicism 7. 13:30 - Stop Making Them the Center of Your Life: Modern Stoicism 8. 16:00 - Don’t Always Initiate Communication: Insights from The Daily Stoic 9. 18:30 - Create Independent Happiness: Ryan Holiday on Stoicism 10. 21:00 - Be Ready to Walk Away: Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism in Action   TAGS: #stoic #stoicresilience #stoicism #greekphilosophy #stoicphilosophy #motivation # stoicismquote #stoicquotes #stoicmindset

Transcript

00:00The reality is that if you keep trying to please people who don't give you the recognition you deserve,

00:05you might end up disheartened.

00:08Reversing this situation can be quite challenging.

00:12It's undoubtedly an unpleasant feeling,

00:15and it becomes even worse when it involves someone close to you,

00:19such as family, friends, or a partner.

00:22According to Stoic philosophy,

00:24we shouldn't expect recognition from others,

00:27because it's beyond our control.

00:30Such recognition may not happen,

00:32and therefore, waiting for it is a recipe for frustration.

00:37Instead, the Stoics teach us to focus on what we can control,

00:41our actions, thoughts, and responses.

00:45They remind us that our worth is not defined by external validation,

00:49but by our own integrity and self-awareness.

00:52But what if I told you there are practical methods to become a priority in someone's life,

00:57and to be more recognized?

01:00Indeed, if you understand and apply the strategies we're about to discuss,

01:04you can significantly improve how others perceive and prioritize you.

01:09By following these nine steps,

01:11you can ensure that the people you care about

01:14feel that you are always a priority in their lives.

01:18Now that you understand the problem,

01:20it's time to revolutionize your approach by learning the solution.

01:24Let's dive into each step in detail.

01:27Step 1. Create the fear of losing you.

01:31This is one of the most powerful psychological techniques

01:34you can use to make someone consider you a priority.

01:38People are often more motivated by the fear of losing something

01:41than by the prospect of gaining it.

01:44If you want someone to see you as a priority,

01:46you need to make them fear losing you.

01:50Start by emotionally distancing yourself.

01:53Stop sharing your feelings and confidences with them.

01:57Begin to balance your time with other people as well.

02:00This will make them feel like they're not as important to you as they used to be.

02:04It's a very powerful technique, but it must be used with caution.

02:09If you distance yourself too much,

02:11they may give up on trying to win you back.

02:13Therefore, you must use this technique wisely and in balance.

02:18Think of it as creating a bit of mystery around you.

02:21Let them wonder about you and miss your presence.

02:25By doing this, you're not being manipulative.

02:28Rather, you're showing them that your life is full and fulfilling on its own,

02:33and their place in it is earned, not taken for granted.

02:38Step 2. Avoid being always available.

02:42The term quality over quantity is often applied to various areas of life,

02:48and it also applies to relationships.

02:51If you aspire to be a priority in someone's life,

02:54you may need to become less available.

02:57The more available you are,

02:59the higher the likelihood of being taken for granted.

03:02This doesn't mean you should only be available when it suits you.

03:05But if you consistently adapt and accommodate others,

03:08it's time to prioritize yourself.

03:12Sending the message that you have a life beyond them

03:15and that you're not just waiting for them

03:17will make them value your presence more.

03:20It's about creating a healthy balance

03:22and ensuring that you're not neglecting your own needs and interests in the process.

03:27This will not only make you more attractive,

03:29but will also instill a sense of respect and admiration from others.

03:34For instance, if you're always the one to answer calls immediately,

03:37try letting them go to voicemail sometimes.

03:40If you're always available for last-minute plans,

03:43start scheduling your own activities and sticking to them.

03:47This doesn't mean playing games,

03:48but rather showing that your time is valuable

03:51and that you're not always at someone else's beck and call.

03:56Step 3. Maintain some mystery.

04:01People are generally attracted to the enigmatic and mysterious.

04:05Fascination with the unknown can be captivating

04:08and often makes people feel more connected.

04:12In the realm of relationships,

04:14being a little mysterious can work to your advantage.

04:18If you want to be seen as a priority,

04:21avoid revealing everything about yourself immediately.

04:24Give hints about your hobbies and interests

04:26without disclosing excessive information.

04:30Answer questions vaguely and avoid delving too deeply into your past.

04:35The goal is to keep the other person intrigued

04:37and eager to learn more about you over time.

04:40This approach creates a sense of curiosity and engagement,

04:44making them more interested in you.

04:47It's important to strike a balance here.

04:49You don't want to come off as secretive or dishonest,

04:51but rather as someone with layers and depth that are worth exploring.

04:56For example, instead of detailing every aspect of your weekend plans,

05:01you might simply mention that you had an interesting adventure

05:03and leave it at that.

05:05Let them ask questions and show genuine interest in your life.

05:09This not only keeps the conversation dynamic,

05:12but also places you in a position where they are seeking to know more about you.

05:18Step 4. Allow them to invest in you.

05:23This is a delicate step that you must manage wisely and sparingly

05:27because you don't want to push people away,

05:30but rather the opposite.

05:33Consider the following.

05:35Who is more inclined to see you as a priority?

05:39Someone who has invested a lot in you or someone who hasn't?

05:43The answer is obvious.

05:45If you want someone to see you as a priority,

05:48you need to allow them to invest in you.

05:51This can be done in various ways.

05:53For example, let them invest their time in you

05:57by turning down plans you know you won't be able to fulfill.

06:01Also, show that your time is valuable.

06:04Don't always be available and make them wait for you.

06:09This attitude will send the message that you're not just anyone

06:12and they need to make more effort to win your time.

06:15This will make them see you as a challenge and start to prioritize you.

06:20Remember to use this technique moderately for it to work.

06:24Don't go overboard,

06:26or the result may end up being the opposite of what you desire.

06:30Allowing someone to invest in you

06:32means giving them the space to contribute to your life

06:35and show their commitment,

06:36whether it's through time, effort, or emotional support.

06:42Step 5. Prioritize your needs.

06:46This doesn't mean being selfish.

06:49Prioritizing your needs simply means not putting yourself in a position

06:53where you're not a priority.

06:55For instance, if you know that someone won't treat you the way you deserve,

06:59why would you want to be close to that person?

07:02By surrounding yourself with people who see you as a priority,

07:06you increase your chances of being seen as a priority.

07:09It's essential to remember

07:11that you can't control another person's feelings toward you.

07:14You can only control how you feel about yourself.

07:18If you want to be a priority in someone's life,

07:20make sure you're a priority in your own life.

07:24This involves setting boundaries,

07:25knowing your worth, and not compromising on your values and needs

07:29just to fit into someone else's life.

07:32Practicing self-care, pursuing your passions,

07:35and maintaining a healthy self-image

07:37are all parts of prioritizing your needs.

07:40When you value yourself, others are more likely to value you too.

07:45Show that you respect yourself enough

07:47to not settle for anything less than what you deserve.

07:53Step 6. Don't make them the center of your life.

07:58Did you know that people are often attracted to things they can't have?

08:02It's true.

08:04The more someone feels they need to work for something,

08:07the more they desire it.

08:09You've probably heard the expression,

08:11the grass is always greener on the other side.

08:15This phrase symbolizes people's tendency

08:17to be more captivated by what they don't possess.

08:20Keep this wisdom in mind when dealing with other people.

08:24Maintain a certain distance

08:26so that people become more attracted to your presence.

08:29This will convey the message that you're not desperate for their attention

08:32and, over time, they will value you more.

08:36It's essential to have your own goals, interests, and social circles.

08:41This not only enriches your life,

08:43but also shows that you are a well-rounded individual.

08:47When someone sees that you have a full and engaging life

08:50outside of your relationship with them,

08:52it increases their respect and admiration for you.

08:56They will understand that being part of your life is a privilege,

09:00not a given.

09:04Step 7. Stop initiating communication all the time.

09:10If you often find yourself initiating communication

09:12with someone important in your life,

09:14it may be time to take a step back.

09:17This may seem counterproductive

09:19because if you want to become a priority in someone's life,

09:23shouldn't you be the one to initiate communication?

09:26The answer is no.

09:28When you are always the one initiating communication,

09:31the other person starts taking you for granted.

09:34They get used to your efforts and begin to see you as less important.

09:38So what's the alternative?

09:40Simply stop initiating communication and see the result.

09:46If the other person truly cares about you,

09:49they will make an effort to get in touch.

09:52This doesn't mean you should never initiate contact,

09:55but rather that you should strike a balance.

09:58Allow the other person to miss you

10:00and realize your importance in their life.

10:03This will help them understand that your presence

10:05is not something to be taken for granted.

10:09Step 8. Create your own happiness.

10:13If you want to become a priority in someone's life,

10:16it's important to create your own happiness

10:18and not depend on them to be happy.

10:21While it would be great to have someone to rely on

10:24who makes us feel good,

10:25depending on them for our happiness can lead to disappointment.

10:30Furthermore, when we depend on others to be happy,

10:33we're not truly living our lives.

10:36We're living according to their agenda and priorities,

10:39which can lead to resentment.

10:41If you want to be a priority in someone's life,

10:44it's important to create your own happiness.

10:47This will not only make you happier in the long run,

10:50but also make you more attractive to others

10:52because you'll appear more balanced and self-assured.

10:57Engage in activities that bring you joy,

11:00nurture your passions,

11:02and cultivate a sense of fulfillment

11:03that is independent of anyone else.

11:06When you are happy on your own,

11:08you exude confidence and positivity,

11:11which naturally draws others to you.

11:14Moreover, it shows that you are not reliant on someone else

11:17for your well-being,

11:19which is a highly attractive quality.

11:23Step 9. Be willing to walk away.

11:27The idea of walking away from someone we care about

11:30can be frightening,

11:32but it's an important step.

11:33By showing that you're not afraid to walk away,

11:36you're sending the message

11:37that you won't accept anything less than you deserve.

11:41The right person will naturally see you as a priority

11:45and make an effort to keep you in their life.

11:47Always remember that your part is to do the right thing,

11:50which is within your control.

11:52Therefore, you should have the awareness

11:55that your actions are right in the eyes of others,

11:58and by doing this, you should feel good.

12:01Don't expect that you will always be credited or recognized

12:04and that people will always give you the value you deserve.

12:08Give it time,

12:09and people will naturally start to notice you the way you deserve.

12:14Walking away doesn't mean giving up.

12:16It means recognizing your worth

12:18and not settling for anything less.

12:21It's about having the courage to say no

12:23to situations and relationships that don't serve you

12:26and being open to new opportunities

12:28that align with your values and needs.

12:32Conclusion.

12:34To wrap up the reasoning behind these nine steps

12:37on becoming a priority in other people's lives,

12:40it's essential to absorb this wisdom fully.

12:43We've all experienced moments

12:44where we felt neglected or not prioritized.

12:47However, it's important to remember

12:49that our journey in life is unique

12:51and other people's priorities may not reflect our true worth.

12:55Instead of allowing these situations

12:57to affect our self-esteem,

12:59we can use these moments as opportunities for personal growth.

13:04The key is to prioritize ourselves,

13:06taking care of our happiness and well-being.

13:09Eventually, others will begin to notice

13:12and give you the value you deserve.

13:15Remember that even when others don't place you

13:18at the top of their list,

13:19you can and should give yourself the priority you deserve.

13:25This isn't selfishness.

13:26It's self-compassion and self-determination.

13:30By doing so, we can build healthier relationships,

13:34make decisions more aligned with our goals

13:36and live a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

13:40Thank you for engaging with this content.

13:42Remember to like the video and subscribe to the channel

13:45if this content was rewarding for your life.

13:48I'll leave two videos here

13:49that you might be interested in watching too.

13:52See you soon.

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