Arthur - 02x18 Arthur vs. the Mean Crossing Guard & D.W.'s Very Bad Mood
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Every day when you're walking down the street,
00:05Everybody that you meet has an original point of view.
00:11And I say, hey, hey, what a wonderful kind of day
00:16If you could learn to work and play and get along with each other.
00:22You got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat,
00:25Listen to the rhythm, rhythm of the street.
00:28Open up your eyes, open up your ears,
00:30Get together and make things better by working together.
00:34It's a simple message and it comes from the heart.
00:39Oh, believe in yourself, for that's the place to start.
00:44And I say, hey, hey, what a wonderful kind of day
00:48If you could learn to work and play and get along with each other.
00:54And I say, hey, hey, what a wonderful kind of day
00:58Hey! What a wonderful kind of day
01:01Hey!
01:03Hey, D.W.!
01:06Hey!
01:16Anybody here?
01:19D.W. is so easy to fool.
01:22Like one time, I told her sweaters were a kind of animal.
01:27I'm not afraid of you.
01:31Ah!
01:35And I told her that if you stayed in the tub after you pulled out the plug,
01:39Whoa!
01:41You'd get sucked in.
01:45She wouldn't take a bath for weeks.
01:48Yep, she'll believe anything.
01:51Arthur, did you find anything?
01:54No monsters, at least none I noticed.
01:58Just try not to think about them and go to sleep.
02:01Ah!
02:07Arthur versus the very mean crossing guard.
02:10Hey! Oops.
02:14And one time, I told her my bionic bunny poster could talk
02:18if she came in my room when I wasn't there.
02:20And she believed you?
02:22Wow, it must be great to have someone as gullible as D.W. for a sister.
02:26Is it ever.
02:28You want to come over to my house and play fool the mule?
02:30Sure.
02:32Uh, Brain, what's gullible mean?
02:35Easy to fool.
02:37Oh, right. I forgot what it meant.
02:39Yeah, that D.W., she sure is gullible.
02:42Hello, partners. How are you doing?
02:46Fine. What happened to Mrs. Hurley?
02:49She's gone out of town.
02:51Meanwhile, I'm holding down the fort.
02:58That'll be $10, please.
03:00$10?
03:02Didn't they tell you? New rule.
03:04$10 to cross the street.
03:06I'll take that in small bills, please.
03:09But, but, we don't have $10.
03:13You mean you expected to cross the street for free?
03:17No, but we always did before, sir.
03:20Well, I guess you can pay me later,
03:23but don't take too long or I'll send my goons after you.
03:30$10 to cross the street?
03:32That's $50 a week.
03:34I'm lucky I live on the other side.
03:38I can take $5.37. Oink.
03:42Arthur, I can't afford to walk home from school.
03:52Bailey, stop here.
03:59Rain, where have you been?
04:02No one's seen you since third grade.
04:04I could only cross the street $5.37 worth.
04:08This is as far as he would let me come.
04:11Well, as I always say,
04:13if you want service, you have to pay for it.
04:16Wait!
04:18I need $4.63 so I can get across.
04:30We can't even pay for it today.
04:33You think he'll send his goons?
04:36Arthur, what are goons?
04:39I was going to ask you that.
04:53Who are you?
04:55Are you the goons?
04:58Of course not. We're baboons.
05:04The goons will be along later.
05:08And they're really scary.
05:14This is terrible.
05:16He's sending things after us and we don't even know what they are.
05:19We just have to stay calm.
05:21We'll come up with a plan by tomorrow.
05:24I thought about it all night, Arthur.
05:27The mean crossing guard is only there in the afternoon, right?
05:30Right.
05:32All I have to do is find a way home after school.
05:35Here are my ideas.
05:37Plan A.
05:39The bridge.
05:42Drawback.
05:45Storing it.
05:49Plan B.
05:51The tunnel.
05:53Eww.
06:01Eww.
06:12Drawback.
06:14Directions.
06:20Plan C.
06:22Get it?
06:27Drawback.
06:29Getting blown off course.
06:33Crash landing in a strange country populated by strange creatures.
06:40And having to declare myself wizard.
06:47Gee, you really thought this out.
06:49Yeah, but none of my ideas work.
06:52I just need a functional plan.
06:55You sure you don't want to come over to my house?
06:58I better save my money for when I really need to see you.
07:01Good thinking.
07:03Well, here goes.
07:08Well, here's one half of the gruesome twosome.
07:11Where's your partner in crime headed?
07:13We didn't perpetrate any criminal acts.
07:16Oh, yeah?
07:17You sure I haven't seen your mug on a wanted poster someplace?
07:20Maybe down at the post office?
07:23No.
07:25Well, watch your step now.
07:27I'm on to you.
07:29One false move, boyo, and it's into the slammer with you.
07:37I'm gonna crash and get ten dollars.
07:39I have to get across.
07:42If only I hadn't crossed the street so many times,
07:45my parents wouldn't have had to sell our house.
07:48Living in a tent might not be that bad, Brain.
07:51It might be fun.
07:55I wonder who bought our house anyway.
08:03Home, sweet home.
08:10Oh, what's the point?
08:12I can't think anymore.
08:14If only my parents would simply move across the street.
08:19Everything would be fine.
08:21I'm sure you could stay at our house tonight, Brain.
08:24Grandma Thor's babysitting and she says yes to anything.
08:28Really?
08:33I'll go straight to your house and call my parents from there.
08:37Here they are.
08:39Oh, we're not crossing the street today, sir.
08:41Thank you anyway.
08:43I hope you two aren't planning to cross at some other stop sign.
08:46I got cameras everywhere. I'll catch up to you.
08:52In theory, it's possible.
08:54Cameras can be made quite small.
08:56Even small enough to fit in this stuffed bear, for instance.
09:04You think he has cameras in there?
09:06Could be.
09:08Better talk in code.
09:10The penny jar sure is mean.
09:13That's right.
09:15It's almost as bad as the rug.
09:19What?
09:21Arthur, come check my bed.
09:24There's nothing under there, D.W.
09:26Go to sleep.
09:29You know things are bad when I don't even feel like torturing D.W.
09:36I got it!
09:37Brain, wake up! I know what to do!
09:39Could you, Grandma?
09:41Why, of course, Arthur.
09:43If you're sure that's what you want.
09:45Yay! We'll see you after school.
09:51This was a brilliant idea, Arthur.
09:54Grandma Thora's Cab Company at your service.
09:57Who needs a ride home?
10:01It's very nice of you to drive me home, Mrs. Dreet.
10:04Why are we stopping?
10:06There's someone in the crosswalk.
10:09He sees us!
10:11Duck!
10:12What's going on back there?
10:14Fasten those seatbelts right now.
10:16Shh, Grandma. He'll see us.
10:19Who? Ted?
10:21You know him?
10:22He's the meanest man in the world.
10:24Ted? Oh, he's a pussycat.
10:27He wants money from us.
10:29What?
10:30We'll just see about this.
10:33He sure looks mean.
10:35He's the meanest crossing guard ever.
10:37He said he'd send his goons after us if we didn't pay him money.
10:40He was going to turn Brain into the police.
10:43And he has cameras and all the stop signs.
10:46Wow. And you're saying you actually believed all this?
10:50That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
10:53You guys will believe anything.
10:58Arthur? Alan?
11:00This is Ted Glass.
11:02He wants to tell you boys something.
11:04Go ahead, Ted.
11:07Well, I just wanted to tell you boys
11:09I was sorry if my kidding around gave you two a scare.
11:13Oh, that's all right.
11:15We didn't really believe it much.
11:23I was pretty sure he was joking
11:25when he started talking about the cameras.
11:27Yeah, you'd have to be pretty gullible to believe that one.
11:30I guess even smart people believe dumb stuff sometimes.
11:34Arthur, come here! Hurry!
11:37See you tomorrow, Brain.
11:41I think I heard something move down there.
11:43You'd better watch out. It could be a...
11:46A what? A what?
11:48Actually...
11:50Actually, there aren't any monsters under the bed, D.W.
11:53I was just saying that to fool you.
11:55Oh, I know that. I've always known that.
11:58But could you check anyway?
12:01Please?
12:04Anyway, I figured it wasn't nice to scare her.
12:07That's a good idea. She's liable to believe anything.
12:10Hello, boys.
12:12Hi. Hello.
12:14Wait. Aren't you going to ask us the password?
12:18That's right.
12:20You boys are crossing into enemy territory now.
12:23Could be inhabited by goons.
12:26Could be worse, I hear.
12:29You'd better watch your step.
12:32And now, a word from a kid.
12:35When I was little, I thought the TV could go on by itself.
12:40But now I know that my mom used to turn it on with the remote control.
12:47Everybody used to believe something.
12:49When I was little, I thought that spaghetti was worms.
12:55But when my mother gave me some to eat, it was good.
12:58It was not worms.
13:00I used to think tomatoes were apples.
13:03But now I know that tomatoes are tomatoes.
13:06When I was little, I used to think that there was a monster in the closet.
13:11But now I know there's no such things as monsters.
13:15Once I thought my refrigerator was a restaurant because it was full of food.
13:21But now I know my refrigerator is just a refrigerator.
13:25I used to think that books could talk.
13:29But now I know that we can't talk.
13:33But I read them.
13:35I used to believe that what was on TV would come right out of the TV.
13:41And now I think it's just a TV show.
13:45I used to think that a basketball was a bouncing orange.
13:50Now I know oranges are oranges and a basketball is a basketball.
13:56I used to think that the city buses were just buses.
14:00But now I think that they're alien spacecraft and that they're going to shoot me with their lasers.
14:07What do you believe?
14:10And now, back to Harper.
14:14It's really nice when you have a perfect family.
14:18Here you go, son. A nutritious lunch all neatly packed for you.
14:23Gee whiz! Thanks, mother.
14:25Son, would you like a ride to school?
14:28Golly, father. Thanks a million.
14:33Hello, Mrs. Rees.
14:35Hello, Mrs. Rees.
14:37Hi, kids.
14:38Arthur, are you ready?
14:40We've never, ever been late for school and we don't want to break a perfect record.
14:44I'll be right there.
14:46You see, my life is just about perfect.
14:49Except for one little thing.
14:53Can you guess?
14:55Ah!
14:56Ah!
14:57Ah!
14:58Ah!
14:59Ah!
15:00Ah!
15:01Ah!
15:02Ah!
15:03Ah!
15:04Ah!
15:06Where's my breakfast?
15:13Hold back there! Hold hungry!
15:20Ah!
15:29T.W.'s very bad mood.
15:36Okay, okay. So I'm slightly exaggerating.
15:39These corn puffs are soggy. I won't eat them.
15:42But only slightly.
15:44You can't make me and I'm not going to preschool either.
15:47I'm sick of preschool. I'll do what I want.
15:49Do you hear me? Do you?
15:52One for you and one for you.
15:55And Arthur, wake up!
15:58Huh?
15:59I'm inviting you to my birthday party.
16:01I'm sorry. I can't go. I'm too tired.
16:04The party's not for two more weeks.
16:06You'll have plenty of time to sleep.
16:08Wanna bet? T.W.'s gone absolutely nuts.
16:12Last night she wouldn't stop screaming.
16:15You're just making me go to bed because you don't want me around.
16:18You don't love me. You wish I wasn't even born.
16:23Sleep tight, T.W.
16:25Let's hope you feel better in the morning.
16:28I won't feel better in the morning.
16:31I won't, I won't, I won't!
16:34I won't!
16:37She did that all night long.
16:40What if she never lets me go to sleep again?
16:42Actually, that would be a very interesting experiment.
16:45We could try your deterioration and then when your brain starts to shut down...
16:49Arthur, why don't you just ask her what's wrong?
16:52Why don't you ask her?
16:54Okay, I will ask her.
16:56Thanks, Mrs. Reed.
16:57My pleasure.
17:01T.W., one at a time.
17:03You're always picking on me.
17:05You never pick on anyone else.
17:07Only me, me, me.
17:09You know that's not true, T.W.
17:12Everybody has to eat politely and that includes you.
17:15That does not include me.
17:17You never include me.
17:18You always make me stay home whenever there's anything fun.
17:21Only Arthur gets to have fun.
17:23Only Arthur gets to have fun.
17:25Only Arthur...
17:26T.W., can I ask you a question?
17:29Maybe.
17:31What's the matter with you?
17:37That was great.
17:38You really solved the problem.
17:40I didn't think she'd get so upset.
17:42It's not your fault, Francine.
17:44May I be excused?
17:51I'm sorry, T.W.
17:52I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,
17:54but you really are being a total doofus,
17:57if you know what I mean.
17:58Who asked you?
18:00You don't even live here.
18:02Well, nobody asked me, but I'm Arthur's friend.
18:05When something's bugging him, I want to help.
18:07You know what, Francine?
18:09What?
18:10Go.
18:11Go.
18:13I'm too tired to think of any more mean things to say.
18:18So did Francine figure out what's wrong with T.W.?
18:21No, it only made her worse.
18:23Last night she slammed so many doors,
18:25I thought we'd get arrested.
18:27Join us for another nerve-wracking half hour
18:30of Temper Tantrum Patrol Squad.
18:33No!
18:49My cabins are here.
18:50Upstairs and to the right.
18:57You have the right to remain silent.
18:59I will not be silent.
19:01I'll be as loud as I want.
19:03And you can't stop me.
19:05No one can stop me.
19:06Who made you the boss of the world?
19:09We need backup, fast.
19:13Cool.
19:14When is that going to be on?
19:16You know what?
19:17I think D.W.'s being a pain
19:19because she's upset about something.
19:21What does D.W. have to be upset about?
19:23She's only four years old.
19:25Yeah.
19:26It's not like she's a third grader.
19:28It might sound weird,
19:30but something's bothering her.
19:31And it's up to us to get to the bottom of it.
19:34Starting today.
19:35But we have soccer practice today.
19:37Starting tomorrow.
19:39Gee, I'd love to,
19:40but I have to clean the garage.
19:42And I have to, um...
19:44I have to do...
19:45clean our garage, too.
19:46Yeah.
19:47Wow.
19:48What a coincidence.
19:49Thanks a lot, guys.
19:50Anytime.
19:55Subject in view.
19:57What's she doing?
19:58She's eating her sandwich.
19:59She's making a face.
20:01She's spitting the bologna into her hand.
20:04She's throwing it into the bushes.
20:07Pal is eating the bolo...
20:08Pal!
20:09Put that down!
20:11Quiet!
20:12Spies don't yell.
20:14Sorry.
20:15I couldn't help it.
20:16Seeing Pal eat spit-covered bologna?
20:19Yuck.
20:20Give me those.
20:24Where'd she go?
20:26Ah!
20:27I know what you're doing,
20:28and it won't work.
20:30She's not saying anything.
20:32And it's ten o'clock,
20:33and I'm tired.
20:35Arthur, I'm telling you.
20:36Whatever it is,
20:37she'll say it in her sleep.
20:38You can't give up.
20:41Wait.
20:42This might be it.
20:43Oh.
20:44It's wrong.
20:46Something wrong.
20:47It's wrong.
20:48Because...
20:49Something's wrong.
20:50It's because...
20:51Because...
20:52Because...
20:53Arthur is a dodo brain!
20:55Because Arthur is a dodo brain!
20:59Stop laughing, Francine.
21:02This is it, Francine.
21:04If we can't figure out
21:05what's wrong with D.W. today,
21:07then I give up.
21:09I'm telling you, Arthur.
21:10We're close.
21:11Then you can sleep.
21:13Wait.
21:14There she is.
21:15So first we'll go to the movie,
21:17and then we'll go back to my house
21:18so you can give me my presents.
21:21Remember,
21:22Saturday at one o'clock.
21:24She's looking right at us.
21:26Not us.
21:28Them.
21:32Hey, D.W.
21:33Francine,
21:34can I ask you a question?
21:35Sure.
21:36Anything.
21:37Why don't you go back to your own house
21:39and stop bothering us?
21:42D.W.,
21:43this being rude to everybody
21:44has got to stop.
21:46Well,
21:47I know something
21:48that might make me feel better.
21:50I know I'd feel much better
21:51if I could see crazy cool kittens
21:53the journey home
21:55this Saturday at one o'clock.
21:57You've seen that movie twice, D.W.
22:01How about if we take her?
22:02Arthur and I would love to go.
22:09How could you make me do this?
22:12You want to find out
22:13what's wrong with D.W., right?
22:15Just hang on.
22:16You better be right.
22:18Even D.W. isn't having fun.
22:24What are you doing?
22:26Having fun.
22:28Loads and loads of fun.
22:31Oh, hi, D.W.
22:33Hi, Lisa.
22:34I didn't know you'd be here.
22:36I'm here with my friends
22:37and we're having lots of fun.
22:44Because I have lots and lots of friends.
22:47I'm really popular
22:49and I usually get invited
22:50to a lot of birthday parties.
22:52Oh, that's nice.
23:00Well, maybe the previews
23:02will be interesting.
23:03I don't feel well.
23:05I want to go home.
23:06D.W., we just got here.
23:08Wait a minute.
23:09What am I saying?
23:10Let's go.
23:12Great.
23:13We spent all that money
23:14and we still don't know
23:15what's wrong with her
23:16except she's driving me
23:17absolutely bus-a-louie.
23:19And you know how much
23:20I hate that word.
23:21Arthur, D.W. and I
23:23are going to get some ice cream.
23:24Why don't you go home?
23:25What?
23:26I'm sorry.
23:27This is just for girls.
23:28See you later.
23:30And so, it's kind of like
23:32you shouldn't ever feel left out
23:34because you just might not be.
23:36Get it?
23:37No.
23:38The point is
23:39you shouldn't feel bad
23:40just because you didn't get
23:41invited to that birthday party.
23:43What birthday party?
23:44Come on, D.W.
23:46Those girls at the movie?
23:47That's what's been bugging you
23:48this whole week, right?
23:50Yeah, maybe.
23:52Francine!
23:53Can you help me?
23:55Of course, D.W.
23:56Anything you say.
23:58Okay, because here's what I want.
24:00I want to hire a balloon and...
24:02Happy birthday, Lisa!
24:04La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
24:06La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
24:08Ah!
24:09Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:10Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:13Time to rain on their little parade.
24:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:20Ah!
24:23Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:29That sounds kind of mean.
24:31Well, they were mean first.
24:33Look, I know you feel left out,
24:35but maybe there wasn't enough room.
24:37Hey, whose side are you on anyway?
24:39Is Lisa someone you play with a lot?
24:42Well, no, but she's friends
24:44with my friend Emily,
24:46and she got to go to the party.
24:48Everybody can't go to every party,
24:50but I think I have an idea
24:52that'll make you feel much better.
24:54What?
24:56What?
24:58Hey, look at...
25:00It's for D.W.
25:02What? Really?
25:04It's for me?
25:06What is it?
25:09Wow!
25:12Miss D.W. Reid is invited...
25:15I'm invited! I'm invited!
25:17I'm invited!
25:19To what?
25:21To Francine's birthday party.
25:23Yes!
25:25What? No way!
25:27This is better than Lisa's party.
25:29This is a third-grade party.
25:31Just wait till I tell them.
25:33Just wait!
25:35What a nice friend Francine is.
25:41And I say hey!
25:43What a wonderful kind of day
25:45If you could learn to work and play
25:47And get along with each other
25:51You got to listen to your heart
25:53Listen to the beat
25:55Listen to the rhythm
25:57The rhythm of the street
25:59It's a simple message
26:01And it comes from the heart
26:03Oh, believe in yourself
26:05Or that's the place to start
26:07And I say hey!
26:09What a wonderful kind of day
26:11What a wonderful kind of day
26:13If we could learn to work and play
26:15And get along with each other
26:17Hey!
26:19What a wonderful kind of day
26:21Hey!
26:23What a wonderful kind of day
26:25Hey!