After a night of drunken revelry, Oxford student and prankster Arthur Linden-Jones is confined to school grounds. That evening, Arthur has the lead in the Victorian farce "Charley's Aunt." Not wanting to loose the profit from ticket sales, Arthur sneaks off campus. His escapades find him and his friends, Burton and Brown, in even deeper trouble. Appealing to their Dean's interest in Egypt, they create a story about Brown's philanthropic aunt being an Egyptologist. When the Dean requests a meeting with the lady, Arthur puts on a dress and becomes "Aunt Lucy."
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30¶.
00:00:40¶.
00:00:50¶.
00:01:15The city of Oxford has been a seat of learning for hundreds of years.
00:01:19Many of our greatest men have studied within its ancient colleges,
00:01:23some of which date back to the 13th century.
00:01:27The College of Bogate, ladies and gentlemen, which we are now entering,
00:01:31is of more recent origin.
00:01:33¶.
00:01:44Founded in 1530, it is a fine example of the architecture of the period.
00:01:50The greater part of the faycade is still in its original state.
00:01:55On my left, you will notice a four-cornered depress or Tudor heart.
00:02:01And on my right, you will see some fine examples of Renaissance windows.
00:02:06And may I draw your attention to that fine old gargoyle there,
00:02:10which I think I may say is as old as the college.
00:02:13Here, don't you get personal.
00:02:15¶.
00:02:19If you will cast your eyes on the wall opposite,
00:02:22you will notice what is called the King Charles's Gate.
00:02:26The famous Bogate Library, containing a rare collection of first editions,
00:02:31is on the first floor.
00:02:33On the second floor is the room where Sir Walter Raleigh is reputed to have studied.
00:02:40While above that is the statue of the founder of the college, Sir Eustace Bogie.
00:02:46¶.
00:02:53¶.
00:03:24Mr. Stinker! Mr. Stinker! Mr. Stinker! Mr. Stinker!
00:03:28Come on, come on, wake up, wake up!
00:03:30Oh, what's the idea of waking me out of this beautiful dream?
00:03:34This isn't a beautiful dream, it's an horrible mess.
00:03:36Here, what have you done to Sir Eustace?
00:03:38Who?
00:03:39Sir Eustace!
00:03:40Sir Eustace?
00:03:41Yes, somebody's put a net on his head.
00:03:42A net?
00:03:43A net!
00:03:44Mosquito?
00:03:45No, no, a net, a multi-board.
00:03:46It won't ask me trouble when the bullies see it.
00:03:48Well, it's not mine.
00:03:49At least, I don't think it is.
00:03:52Now, that's mine.
00:03:53Albert, Albert!
00:03:57Hey, Albert!
00:03:58Come on.
00:04:01Wake up, sir.
00:04:04Where's your net?
00:04:05My hat?
00:04:06Your cap.
00:04:07Was it really?
00:04:08No, no, somebody's put a net on Sir Eustace's head.
00:04:11What?
00:04:16Ah, it's not mine.
00:04:17It must be Arthur's then.
00:04:18Beep!
00:04:19Hey, beep!
00:04:20Mr. Jones?
00:04:22Wake up.
00:04:23Wake up.
00:04:24Come on.
00:04:25Watch on.
00:04:26Yes, sir.
00:04:27Hey.
00:04:28Yes, sir.
00:04:29Cap, sir.
00:04:30What are you doing here?
00:04:31Low do I know.
00:04:33Wait a minute.
00:04:34I drove you home last night, and you asked me in as a properly invited guest.
00:04:38Well, you may have been a guest last night, but you're beyond a joke this morning.
00:04:41Go on, hop in.
00:04:42Come on.
00:04:43Arthur, beep!
00:04:44Beep!
00:04:48I'm here!
00:04:49Now, where did I put him?
00:04:51I remember parking him somewhere last night.
00:04:54Of course I filed him.
00:04:59Hello, playmates.
00:05:00Oh, what a blackout.
00:05:02No wonder I couldn't find the switch.
00:05:04Here, did you shove your hat on Sir Eustace last night?
00:05:07Last night?
00:05:08Oh, I can't remember that far back.
00:05:09Oh, pull yourselves together.
00:05:10Listen, don't you remember we went to the Clarendon?
00:05:13Yes, we passed an hour or two there.
00:05:15And then we went to the Mitre.
00:05:17Mitre?
00:05:18We passed some time there.
00:05:19And then we went to the Lyre.
00:05:21We passed out there.
00:05:23Oh, by the way, didn't somebody bet me ten shillings I wouldn't do something?
00:05:27I bet you ten bob you wouldn't put your square on the statue.
00:05:30Oh, then it is your act.
00:05:32Come on, ten shillings.
00:05:34Talking about dough, what about my fare?
00:05:36Sixteen and a tanner it was.
00:05:38Sixteen and a tanner?
00:05:39Does that include the horse?
00:05:41Here, who is this?
00:05:42Well, apparently we asked him in last night.
00:05:44Yeah.
00:05:45As a specially invited guest.
00:05:46Oh, well, we can't treat a jest like this.
00:05:48We must give him a genis.
00:05:50Sixteen and a tanner, I want.
00:05:52Sixteen and a tanner.
00:05:53Money, money.
00:05:54It's always money.
00:05:55From the moment I get up in the morning till I go to bed at night.
00:05:58Money, money, money.
00:05:59Where's Albert?
00:06:02Come on.
00:06:03Cough up.
00:06:04What for?
00:06:05For his fare.
00:06:06Come on, we want a pound.
00:06:07Well, I haven't got one, see?
00:06:08You blewed all I had last night.
00:06:09Now, don't be a meanie.
00:06:10You know very well your Aunty Lucy's stinking with money.
00:06:13Well, she won't give me a smell, see?
00:06:15Don't argue with the mean skunk, Big.
00:06:16I'll fix it.
00:06:17Cabin.
00:06:18Would a couple of silk shirts be any use for yourself?
00:06:20Oh, what a nice dressing gown.
00:06:21Leave my things alone.
00:06:22You've got to give him something, old boy.
00:06:23I mean...
00:06:24Uh-uh.
00:06:25All right, I'll pay.
00:06:29What dirty underfoot methods, treating your pals like this.
00:06:32Here you are, my good man.
00:06:34Keep the change.
00:06:35Big hearted Arthur, that's me.
00:06:36Thank you, sir.
00:06:38Here, I told you.
00:06:39They're here, the bulls.
00:06:40They're here.
00:06:44They're after that bag.
00:06:47How are they going to get it?
00:06:48They'll hop out through that empty room and climb along to it.
00:06:51You'll see.
00:06:52What can I do about it?
00:06:53Oh, you can nip along this ledge and grab it before they do.
00:06:56Oh, but there's thousands of cabs like that in Oxford.
00:06:58Yeah, but only one with your name on it.
00:07:00Go on, out you go.
00:07:01It's a long way to Tarragona, isn't it?
00:07:03It is.
00:07:04Don't let me go.
00:07:05Careful.
00:07:12Feel all right?
00:07:13I'd have to be a blue bottle to walk along this ledge.
00:07:15Well, you came along it last night.
00:07:17I know, but last night there were two ledges.
00:07:21He'll never do it.
00:07:22No.
00:07:23Bill Brown broke his neck doing the same thing to me.
00:07:25He'll never do it.
00:07:26He'll never do it.
00:07:27He'll never do it.
00:07:28He'll never do it.
00:07:29He'll never do it.
00:07:30He'll never do it.
00:07:31He'll never do it.
00:07:32He'll never do it.
00:07:33He broke his neck doing the same thing two years ago.
00:07:40I'm going down.
00:07:41Jump, let's get you this.
00:07:42All right.
00:07:50There he is, up there, look at him.
00:07:52Just like a monkey.
00:07:53Come on, Arthur.
00:07:57Chit-chat, Arthur.
00:07:58Chit-chat, Arthur.
00:07:59Say something.
00:08:01Say something.
00:08:04The buller's catching you up.
00:08:06Quicker.
00:08:09Come on.
00:08:12Look out for the buller.
00:08:16Quicker, quicker.
00:08:20It's all right, take it easy.
00:08:22You've got plenty of time waiting for us.
00:08:26There he is.
00:08:28Come on, Vic, you're doing fine.
00:08:29You're three lengths ahead.
00:08:30I'm doing two to one against the buller.
00:08:33Half a pound.
00:08:34Half a pound of my money.
00:08:35I'll have ten more on Mr Jones.
00:08:37Yeah, put me down for five.
00:08:38Buller's pulling up on the rail.
00:08:39Come on, come on.
00:08:40Hey, I'm only paying even money on the rail.
00:08:44Hey, Arthur, get a move on.
00:08:46I'm losing all me dough.
00:08:47All right, all right, don't annoy me.
00:08:49I've got no answer for that.
00:08:58Yeah, put me down for five.
00:08:59All right, all right.
00:09:00All me dough.
00:09:04Come on, Arthur.
00:09:12What the devil are you doing?
00:09:13Shut that window.
00:09:14What?
00:09:15Shut that window.
00:09:16Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Jones.
00:09:17Don't fall.
00:09:18Get off me.
00:09:20Ow, ow, my fingers.
00:09:22My fingers.
00:09:24Why don't you say something?
00:09:25Shut it.
00:09:28Come on, don't be a wimp.
00:09:30Come on, don't be a wimp.
00:09:31OK.
00:09:34Hey, I'm going to get a leg cut in the head.
00:09:37Get a move on.
00:09:39Any more bets than Arthur?
00:09:40No, take them back.
00:09:41Why don't you make Kay go back in?
00:09:43Hey, you can't put me in here.
00:09:49You're all right, Arthur.
00:09:53Hey, hey, stop.
00:09:55Take these things away, will you?
00:09:57Oh, are you still here?
00:09:58If you don't take them in, I'll kick them off.
00:10:00They could have a drop of water on them.
00:10:02There ain't a cloud in the sky.
00:10:03Oh, well, I've got to stop there till it is.
00:10:05That's all.
00:10:07What's the meaning of this?
00:10:09Price, what are you doing up there?
00:10:11Sorry, sir, but I'm after the hat on Sir Eustace.
00:10:26Are you a member of this university, sir?
00:10:28Yes, sir.
00:10:29Then I must ask you to give me your name, sir.
00:10:31Yes, sir.
00:10:32Is that Lyndon Jones?
00:10:34Present, sir.
00:10:35I shall not deal with you myself.
00:10:37You will report to the Dean at five o'clock this afternoon.
00:10:40Five o'clock, sir.
00:10:41Aye, aye, gal.
00:10:49Here, steady on the beer, chaps.
00:10:51I'm not running a pub.
00:10:52How can you talk of beer with the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads?
00:10:57What is happening to Arthur?
00:10:59I'll bring up the curtain later than 8.15.
00:11:01If Arthur's sent down, it won't go up at all.
00:11:04And why not pray?
00:11:05I'm his understudy.
00:11:06Have you forgotten that?
00:11:07No, we've remembered that all right.
00:11:12What is all this?
00:11:13Why aren't you all at the theatre?
00:11:16Why is Arthur in with Father?
00:11:17The prog yanked him in there so that the Dean could take him off.
00:11:20He's certainly doing that all right.
00:11:21I've never seen Father in such a rage.
00:11:23You're a nice little ray of sunshine, aren't you?
00:11:25What's going to happen to the show if Arthur gets sent down?
00:11:27I shall play his part, of course.
00:11:29You fellows don't seem to realise the first tradition of the theatre.
00:11:32The show must go on.
00:11:34Yes, but not with you, if we can possibly help it.
00:11:37Here we are, playmates.
00:11:39Well, I dodged the firing party and got off with seven ACB.
00:11:42You're gated for a week.
00:11:43I'd have got off with a chewing gum if it hadn't been for an old Popeye the Proctoman.
00:11:47Didn't you tell the Dean you were playing Charlie's aunt?
00:11:49Of course I did.
00:11:50Well, when that settles, we'll have to call the whole show off and return the money.
00:11:53Oh, no, you won't.
00:11:54What about the 30 quid for the theatre?
00:11:56I know, you can get it from your Aunt Lucy.
00:11:58You're always saying that she gives money to charities.
00:12:00Yes, but she doesn't consider me a charity.
00:12:02Yes, look here, we're discussing Albert's aunt or Charlie's aunt.
00:12:05Excuse me, I can tell you what to do if you make it worth my while.
00:12:08Can't you?
00:12:09Yes, I often get young gentlemen off when they've been gated.
00:12:11Of course, it costs more than it used to, you know.
00:12:13Yes, even the price of freedom has gone up.
00:12:15How much?
00:12:17Well, let me see now.
00:12:18Ten bob to the man on the gate.
00:12:20You see, no evil.
00:12:22There's ten bob to me to ear, no evil.
00:12:24And there's five bob each to speak, no evil.
00:12:26It's 30 bob altogether.
00:12:29It's a deal.
00:12:3230 bob.
00:12:33Me again.
00:12:34Well, anybody who thinks of an idea, it costs me money.
00:12:36Cough up.
00:12:38No.
00:12:41Remember, you're taking me last bob this time.
00:12:43Never mind, Tubby, I'll make it up to you when my ship comes in.
00:12:45Yeah, I know.
00:12:46The question, she's interned in the Russian port.
00:12:48I thank you.
00:12:49I thank you.
00:12:50What happens if Albert's spotted?
00:12:51Oh, there's a lovely train back to London.
00:12:53Oh, an awful thought.
00:12:54Didn't you sell the frog a ticket?
00:12:56Yes, but he tried to sell it back.
00:12:58He's got a committee meeting tonight.
00:13:00Hey, that's a bit of luck.
00:13:01Oh.
00:13:02What about the program?
00:13:03Arthur's name's on it.
00:13:04I know.
00:13:05We can put a slip in the program to say that old Coxie's playing the part,
00:13:07and they'll never recognize Arthur in the make-up.
00:13:09Yeah.
00:13:10I refuse to lend my name to such a deception.
00:13:12Arthur's been gated, and I demand to deputize for him.
00:13:14No, you wouldn't.
00:13:16And so you shall.
00:13:18You don't mean that.
00:13:19I do.
00:13:20You mean you're going to let him play your part?
00:13:22Yes, in the bedroom here.
00:13:23If anyone calls, he can tell them he's me in bed with a bag of coal.
00:13:25The devil!
00:13:29Hey, come on, fellas.
00:13:30We'll be late for the show.
00:13:31Come on, let's go.
00:13:34Come on, fellas.
00:13:35Don't stand there guzzling.
00:13:39Now, Jerry, whatever you do, don't let Coxie out of there.
00:13:41No, sir.
00:13:42I wouldn't let him out, not even if he offered me timber.
00:13:44Come on.
00:13:47I think we've found her.
00:13:51It's cut.
00:14:07So, as she's in the garden,
00:14:11Well, she doesn't appear to be coming.
00:14:13I think I'd better go and get another...
00:14:15Excuse me, sir.
00:14:16Have you seen Donna Lucia?
00:14:17No, Jack, I've not.
00:14:19How fortunate.
00:14:20I'm waiting for her here.
00:14:21Waiting for her here?
00:14:22Yes, I've an appointment.
00:14:23I didn't tell you before, Jack, but she's due.
00:14:25In fact, she's overdue.
00:14:27So get out, my boy.
00:14:28Get out.
00:14:29Now I come to think of it, sir, I saw her only a moment ago.
00:14:31Oh, where?
00:14:32In the garden.
00:14:33In the garden?
00:14:34By Jove, I just sent old Spettigliel there.
00:14:36Good work, Freddy.
00:14:37Go on, go on.
00:14:38All right.
00:14:39Hurry up, then.
00:14:40You're on in a moment, you know, Arthur.
00:14:42Aren't you a bit worried?
00:14:43Well, come on, then.
00:14:44You make your entrance from the other side.
00:14:46All right, don't be cross with auntie.
00:14:48I was thinking perhaps you'd better rejoin the ladies in the garden.
00:14:51They might think it's rude us both being away together.
00:14:54Perhaps so.
00:14:56I know Babs isn't there, but where on earth can he have gotten to?
00:14:59Have you found Donna Lucia?
00:15:01No.
00:15:02I know Babs isn't there, but where on earth can he have gotten to?
00:15:05Have you found him?
00:15:06No.
00:15:07Have you?
00:15:08No.
00:15:09Where?
00:15:10Where?
00:15:11Oh, he must have missed the meeting, you know.
00:15:12What?
00:15:13Do something.
00:15:14Stop Arthur from going on.
00:15:15Most of it is.
00:15:16He's got Amy with him.
00:15:17It's the limit.
00:15:18I'll kill that little monkey if I get hold of him.
00:15:19Look.
00:15:20Look at him now.
00:15:21Yes, well, that would be about the middle of last July, you see.
00:15:24Oh, there you are, Mr. Wickham.
00:15:28Did you think you'd lost us?
00:15:30Yes, I'm afraid I did.
00:15:32Where have you been to with that girl, you fool?
00:15:34No, sir.
00:15:35Stop where you are.
00:15:36I've got something to tell you.
00:15:37Oh, have you?
00:15:38Charlie, has Miss Pettigrew seen the chapel?
00:15:41Get him away while I talk to Babs.
00:15:43It's a lovely chapel.
00:15:44An awfully pretty chapel.
00:15:46It's full of...
00:15:47May I take one of your presents from him?
00:15:49Certainly, sir.
00:15:54What produce do you mean by this game?
00:15:56What game?
00:15:57You promised to help us.
00:15:58I'm doing my best.
00:16:02My father's going to propose to you.
00:16:04Oh, is he?
00:16:05Doesn't look very like young Cox to me.
00:16:07What?
00:16:08I'm not going to marry your father for you or anybody else.
00:16:10Mr. Cox.
00:16:11I'll see you hand first.
00:16:12Of course not, you idiot.
00:16:14All you have to do is to be calm and reduce it.
00:16:16I don't think so.
00:16:17He's gone out.
00:16:19Where's the telephone?
00:16:20Outside on the left, sir.
00:16:21Excuse me.
00:16:25Look out.
00:16:26Here comes old Spettigrew.
00:16:28It's going to be a smashing affair.
00:16:30It's going to be a smashing affair.
00:16:31You'll be that all right.
00:16:32The proctor's been out in front.
00:16:34What, Popeye?
00:16:35Right under your nose in the stalls.
00:16:36Oh, do you think he'll recognize me?
00:16:38How do we know?
00:16:39Well, come along at once, Price.
00:16:40And you'd better bring another man with you.
00:16:42At the theater, sir?
00:16:43Yes, sir.
00:16:44Immediately, sir.
00:16:48Dona Lucia del Toro.
00:16:50How do you do?
00:16:55I'm Charlie's aunt.
00:16:57From Brazil, where the nuts come from.
00:17:01How do you do?
00:17:02I knew your late husband.
00:17:04Intimately.
00:17:10Excuse me, sir.
00:17:11The proctor wishes to...
00:17:12Sorry.
00:17:13Can't stop.
00:17:17Excuse me, sir.
00:17:18Oh.
00:17:25Excuse me, sir.
00:17:26The proctor...
00:17:31I don't remember this bit.
00:17:36Excuse me, sir.
00:17:37The proctor...
00:17:53Whoa!
00:18:01Whoa!
00:18:06Come on, hurry up!
00:18:18Whoa!
00:18:28Ow!
00:18:31Ow!
00:18:36Ow!
00:19:01Excuse me, sir.
00:19:02The proctor wishes to speak to you.
00:19:31Hey!
00:19:42Hey!
00:19:55Get out, you silly little man!
00:19:57Ow!
00:19:59You ass.
00:20:00You mutt.
00:20:01You blithering...
00:20:02All right, all right.
00:20:03You've had one each.
00:20:04Now let me think of something to call me.
00:20:06If you'd have kept your back to them, they wouldn't have recognized you.
00:20:08What are you talking about?
00:20:09I'm supposed to be playing Charlie's aunt, not the hind legs of an elephant.
00:20:12You'd have been more of a type.
00:20:13Now I've got to do some hard thinking to get out of this.
00:20:16You have.
00:20:17What about us?
00:20:18We're in it as much as you are.
00:20:19It's all right for you.
00:20:20You've got a rich auntie you can fall back on.
00:20:22Poor auntie.
00:20:23What do you say to a drink?
00:20:24Same as I always say.
00:20:27Well, bless me.
00:20:28Cotton comes.
00:20:29He is dead old cocksy still holding the fort.
00:20:32Oh, he's gone to sleep at his post.
00:20:33Let's wake him up.
00:20:34Oh, don't do that.
00:20:35We've only got enough whiskey for three.
00:20:36All right.
00:20:37In that case, we won't worry about it.
00:20:38No, let's worry about ourselves.
00:20:40I know what.
00:20:41We'll tell them it was all part of the play.
00:20:43Yeah, what about the two bullets I solved?
00:20:45Well, that was part of the play, too.
00:20:47Yeah, I dropped a bullet on his head behind the scenes.
00:20:49I suppose that was part of the play.
00:20:50Yes, noise is off.
00:20:51Well, gentlemen, the toast is Popeye the Potter.
00:20:54Popeye.
00:20:55Popeye.
00:20:56May his skin shrivel and his shoes squeak.
00:20:59I wonder what made the old cog come to the show.
00:21:01He bought a ticket.
00:21:02You don't think the mean old swine's going to waste it, do you?
00:21:04He could have given it away.
00:21:05Go on.
00:21:06He wouldn't give his dying grandmother an aspirin.
00:21:08Hey, look.
00:21:09There's still a drop left.
00:21:10Shall we give old cocksy one after all?
00:21:11Yes, go on.
00:21:12He's stuck it out.
00:21:15Here you are, cocksy old cock.
00:21:17And the toast is bottoms up to Popeye.
00:21:22Mr. Jones.
00:21:23Mr. Burton.
00:21:24Mr. Brown.
00:21:25You will be in the dean's study at 10.30 tomorrow morning.
00:21:28Good night.
00:21:32And smiling, the boy fell dead.
00:21:44You wanted me, Daddy?
00:21:46No, dear.
00:21:47Oh, yes, Betty.
00:21:48I want you to take this letter for me, if you will.
00:21:51It won't take you long.
00:21:52It's to the secretary of the Burgate Archaeological Society.
00:21:57Mr. Lyndon Jones, Mr. Burton and Mr. Brown, sir.
00:22:12All right, Betty.
00:22:18Good morning, gentlemen.
00:22:20Good morning.
00:22:22I'm afraid this is going to be a very painful interview.
00:22:25I have here a list of your delinquencies.
00:22:28And I can assure you it makes very sorry reading.
00:22:32Oh, well, don't let's read it, sir.
00:22:33I mean, it's no good upsetting ourselves.
00:22:35That's quite enough, Jones.
00:22:37I have reluctantly come to the conclusion...
00:22:39that you three men are a disturbing influence in the college.
00:22:44I'm afraid I shall have to send you down.
00:22:46Oh, don't send us down, please, sir.
00:22:48No, once we start going down, there's no knowing where we'll stop.
00:22:51You should have thought of that before.
00:22:53You've certainly neglected your opportunities.
00:22:55Oh, but we haven't neglected our opportunities, sir.
00:22:57No, I've learned a lovely lot, sir.
00:22:59I've learned how to speak Greek,
00:23:01uh, jam, vinaigrette, curcuma, Seneca.
00:23:05That's Latin.
00:23:06Oh, fancy that. I know Latin as well.
00:23:09And I've learned to recite English literature,
00:23:12King Bruce of Scotland.
00:23:14Uh, Scots literature.
00:23:16King Bruce of Scotland sat him down in lonely mood to think.
00:23:21Though he was a monarch and wore a crown,
00:23:24his heart was beginning to sink.
00:23:30Sink.
00:23:32Sunk.
00:23:33If you can offer an adequate reason...
00:23:35why I should not proceed to this extreme measure,
00:23:37I shall be ready to hear it.
00:23:39Mr. Brown.
00:23:40Would youthful high spirits be a good excuse, sir?
00:23:43It would not.
00:23:44I'm afraid I can't understand your writing, Father.
00:23:46What does that say? Yippee?
00:23:48Yippee? It can't be yippee.
00:23:50Perhaps it's whoopee!
00:23:53Oh, it's Egypt, my dear.
00:23:55The history of ancient Egypt is a subject very dear to my heart.
00:23:59Oh, and what does that say?
00:24:01Ah, yes.
00:24:03It's a great disappointment to me
00:24:05that this expedition to Parthebes should have to be abandoned.
00:24:08But we should need at least another 5,000 pounds
00:24:11to carry out the excavations,
00:24:13and, as it appears unlikely,
00:24:15that we should discover anyone so magnanimous...
00:24:17Ah, yes, that's...
00:24:25Well, gentlemen, I don't think there's anything more to be said.
00:24:29There is one thing I'd like to mention, sir.
00:24:31It's not about myself. Indeed?
00:24:33No, it's, uh...
00:24:35It's my Auntie Lucy.
00:24:37Your aunt?
00:24:38I fail to see the connection, Jones.
00:24:40Well, it's the shock, sir, me being sent down her heart.
00:24:43It's been very weak since she came back from the last expedition, sir.
00:24:46Expedition? What on earth are you talking about?
00:24:49Well, she always goes on expeditions to Egypt every year, mummy-grubbing.
00:24:54Mummy what?
00:24:55That's her pet name for Egypt...
00:24:57Egypt...
00:24:59Anyway, she's very keen on it, sir.
00:25:01Oh, really? Oh, that's very interesting.
00:25:04I know a great many Egyptologists.
00:25:06I probably know your aunt.
00:25:08Well, she's not exactly my aunt, sir.
00:25:11She's Albert's.
00:25:12But you said she was your aunt.
00:25:14Well, she is in a way, sir.
00:25:16The three of us have all been brought up since we were that size,
00:25:20and she's all our aunt's, and we're all her nephew's.
00:25:24Except Stinker and me.
00:25:26I don't follow.
00:25:28Well, if ever Albert lost his hoop, I always gave him Stinker's.
00:25:32Mr Barton's.
00:25:33Mr Barton's.
00:25:34Auntie Lucy's always been like a father and mother to all of us,
00:25:37and if ever we wanted anything, she's always provided it, hasn't she, Albert?
00:25:40Yes.
00:25:41In a way.
00:25:42See, that's the trouble with auntie, sir.
00:25:44Her heart's as big as it's weak, and when it comes to Egypt,
00:25:47ooh, the till is always open.
00:25:49Really?
00:25:50Yes, anyone can go to her with a cock-eyed scheme about digging a hole in Egypt,
00:25:54and she just pours money into it.
00:25:57Indeed.
00:25:59Yes, well, and do you know, she went out there with a partner,
00:26:02and the partner did the digging and she did the paying,
00:26:06and they dug a hole for five years.
00:26:08Five years?
00:26:09Well, you know what it is, sir.
00:26:11They dug for one year, nothing doing,
00:26:13then they dug a second year, same again, until it became a sort of habit.
00:26:17Five years seems an incredibly long time.
00:26:19Ah, but what a hole, sir.
00:26:22Well, it sounds a fantastic story to me, Jones.
00:26:25Well, auntie's a fantastic woman, sir,
00:26:27and if I may say so, sir, it was a fantastic hole.
00:26:30Evidently.
00:26:32And what did you say the lady's name was?
00:26:34Lady Blessington Smythe.
00:26:37Oh.
00:26:39Your aunt, Brown, lives in the Midlands, doesn't she?
00:26:43In Birmingham, sir.
00:26:44Where the nuts and balls come from, sir.
00:26:48Well, I suppose after that unfortunate experience,
00:26:51your aunt had no further interest in Egypt.
00:26:54Oh, don't you believe it, sir.
00:26:56She's crazy to start digging again.
00:26:58You see, losing that hole left a sort of gap in her life.
00:27:01Ah.
00:27:02It seems very unfortunate, so excellent a lady should suffer
00:27:05for the behavior of others.
00:27:07Yes, sir.
00:27:08Particularly, as you tell me, she has a weak heart.
00:27:11Then we won't be sent down, then, sir?
00:27:15I shall review the matter.
00:27:17Thank you very much, sir.
00:27:18Oh, thank you, sir.
00:27:19And that will be all for the present, gentlemen.
00:27:21Thank you, sir.
00:27:25Hey, what's the idea of fetching my aunt?
00:27:27What do you mean, your aunt?
00:27:28She's joined stock now.
00:27:29Did I pick that one up quick?
00:27:30Yeah, too quick.
00:27:31Suppose she finds out?
00:27:32How can she?
00:27:33The thing that's worrying me is how we're going to keep it up.
00:27:35Well, we're all going down at the end of the term.
00:27:37We're only going to keep it going till then.
00:27:39Hello, what's happened?
00:27:40Hello, darling.
00:27:41You all look very cheerful.
00:27:42Hey, don't tell me father's let you off.
00:27:44The old boy's going to think it over.
00:27:45It's a bit marvellous.
00:27:47Yes, sir.
00:27:48Good morning, sir.
00:27:49Good morning.
00:27:51Betty dear, I want you to take another letter for me.
00:27:54It's to Lady Blessington Smigh.
00:27:56You'll find her address in the records.
00:27:58She lives in Birmingham.
00:27:59Wear a nutskirt.
00:28:01Birmingham, dear.
00:28:10Two, three, four.
00:28:12Today I feel so happy, so happy, so happy.
00:28:16I don't know why I'm happy.
00:28:18I only know I are.
00:28:21Ooh, la la.
00:28:37I say, how do you expect a fellow to work next door to a row like that?
00:28:41I'm trying to read Greek verse, Scramcoxy.
00:28:43When you come home blind after a thick night, we don't complain when you make a noise.
00:28:47I've never had a thick night.
00:28:49I'll tell the deed.
00:28:51Oh, today he's not so happy, so happy, so happy.
00:28:55Today he's not so happy, he's going to tell the deed.
00:28:59Oh, today it's crowded.
00:29:01Oh, hello, darling.
00:29:02I want to work with you, Dickie.
00:29:04Oh, alone? Good. Shall we go outside?
00:29:05No, it concerns all of you.
00:29:07Where's Albert?
00:29:08Albert? He was eaten by a lion at Blackpool.
00:29:11Oh, don't be silly. He's gone out to buy food, as usual.
00:29:13Oh, very well. Then I shall wait here until he comes back.
00:29:17I want to know the truth about this aunt story you've been telling father.
00:29:21Aunt? Oh, it's about auntie.
00:29:24Oh, Albert has got an aunt, hasn't he of her?
00:29:27Oh, yes. He goes to see her.
00:29:29Serve lots of people, but not the sort of aunt who collects old mummies in Egypt.
00:29:33Oh, well, I've got an aunt who collects old soldiers in Aldershot.
00:29:38Very funny. But it won't be so funny when she gets the letter.
00:29:43Who gets what letter?
00:29:45What letter?
00:29:46The letter that father has written to Lady Blessington Smythe.
00:29:50You don't happen to know what's in the letter?
00:29:53He wants to get together with her about this expedition.
00:29:57And if it's a lie, I think it's peacefully obvious.
00:30:00Is that the letter there?
00:30:02Yes, it is.
00:30:04I suppose there's no chance of it being lost in the post.
00:30:07None whatever.
00:30:08Oh, I thought not.
00:30:10I couldn't get any caviar.
00:30:11Oh, hello, Betty. You're not stopping to stay, are you?
00:30:13Don't think I've got enough for four anyway.
00:30:15Don't worry, we're not likely to eat it now.
00:30:17I've got a bone to pick with you.
00:30:19What is this story about your aunt?
00:30:21Eh? Who's been talking?
00:30:23Is it true that she's an Egyptologist?
00:30:25Oh, well, you'd better ask Arthur.
00:30:27He seems to know more about it than I do.
00:30:29I'll be back in a minute.
00:30:33I knew it.
00:30:35Not one of you have given me a straight answer.
00:30:37It's all just a pack of lies you've told father to avoid being sent down.
00:30:42Here.
00:30:44You can't open other people's letters like that.
00:30:46Oh?
00:30:47No.
00:30:48You'll tear it.
00:30:49Give it to me, I'll show you.
00:30:51All you want is a pencil.
00:30:53And you put it in there, see?
00:30:55Slowly roll in there.
00:30:56Yeah, I want to put something else in there.
00:30:58All right, I'll get a bit of paper.
00:31:00There you are, see?
00:31:02It's easy, isn't it?
00:31:04Put that in there.
00:31:05Right.
00:31:07There you are.
00:31:09Thanks very much.
00:31:12You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
00:31:14After all, Betty, Albert has got a rich arm.
00:31:16I admit we stretched that Egyptian stuff a bit.
00:31:19Stretched it?
00:31:20You invented it?
00:31:21You know father's anxious to take this expedition to Egypt?
00:31:24We didn't mean any harm.
00:31:25No harm?
00:31:26You raised his hopes and then dashed them to the ground?
00:31:29We don't dash things ever, Betty.
00:31:31Oh, shut up, stinker.
00:31:32You won't.
00:31:33There'll be no need.
00:31:34This letter is going to blow up the whole thing.
00:31:36Betty, do stay with me, please.
00:31:42Letter?
00:31:43What's she talking about?
00:31:44The Dean's written to Aunt Lucy.
00:31:46What?
00:31:47Don't be a silly big boy.
00:31:48We knocked the letter off behind her back.
00:31:50Yes, I did it.
00:31:51Then I bunged a bit of paper in instead.
00:31:53Mind you, I'm not sure that we acted honorably, you know.
00:31:55Oh, no.
00:31:56I mean Betty trusts us.
00:31:57I mean Betty trusts us.
00:31:59I mean Betty trusts us.
00:32:01Oh, no.
00:32:02I mean Betty trusts me.
00:32:03Oh, yeah.
00:32:04I don't think it was quite plain.
00:32:05Oh, no.
00:32:06Oh, shut up.
00:32:07What's in the letter?
00:32:08Let me hear it.
00:32:09It says, may I call on you in Birmingham tomorrow?
00:32:16Birmingham tomorrow?
00:32:17Blimey, he's got a call on her.
00:32:20Oh, it's all right, it's all right.
00:32:21We'll put a stop to that.
00:32:22All right, clever.
00:32:23Think of something to get us out of this.
00:32:24Well, I mean, sure.
00:32:26Oh, he needs an aunt.
00:32:27Yes.
00:32:28Anybody got an aunt we can borrow?
00:32:30Have you done the aunts in your past?
00:32:31No.
00:32:32Well, if we have, we'll have.
00:32:33We'll get her to Birmingham.
00:32:34We wouldn't want her in Birmingham.
00:32:35We'd bring her here.
00:32:36Oh, what's the use of that?
00:32:37Well, look, all she's got to do is to pop in and see the old boy.
00:32:40Tell him she'll think this Egypt stunt's over and pop out again.
00:32:43I've got an aunt Jessie in Bellarmine I'd do it.
00:32:45Would you?
00:32:46But she's in South Africa.
00:32:47No.
00:32:48Oh, tubby.
00:32:49What's your auntie Lucy like?
00:32:51I don't know.
00:32:52I suppose she's just like any other aunt.
00:32:53Haven't you got a photo of her?
00:32:54No, I haven't.
00:32:55There's an album full of photographs in your trunk.
00:32:57Eh?
00:32:58Next to you biting leather shoes.
00:33:00Yeah, how did you know?
00:33:02Oh, I, I just guessed it.
00:33:04Well, your guess wrong, see?
00:33:06Hey!
00:33:09Going down, sons, please.
00:33:15Here, leave my trunk alone.
00:33:16I've got it, I've got it.
00:33:17I've got the album.
00:33:18Here we are.
00:33:19Here, give that to me.
00:33:21Don't snatch.
00:33:22It's nothing sacred to you.
00:33:24If you want to see aunt Lucy, I'll show you.
00:33:25Come on, then.
00:33:27Oh, who's that?
00:33:28Ah, that's my Uncle Charlie.
00:33:29Hey, is he the right way up?
00:33:32Ah, there's aunt Lucy.
00:33:33Oh, Auntie Jessie could never look like that.
00:33:40No.
00:33:41But I tell you who could.
00:33:43Who?
00:33:44You.
00:33:45Eh?
00:33:46You.
00:33:47Me?
00:33:48Him?
00:33:49Yes.
00:33:50No.
00:33:51Don't be silly.
00:33:52You did it in the play and got away with it.
00:33:53I know, but I'm not going to do it now.
00:33:54It's easy.
00:33:55I'll be back to the light.
00:33:56Oh, that's your uncle.
00:33:57Yes, but Arthur's not your auntie, so that's that.
00:33:59Oh, don't be a stubborn little man.
00:34:00No one in Oxford knows her.
00:34:02Yes, I do.
00:34:03I know your aunt Lucy.
00:34:04What's that?
00:34:05Yes, it's her.
00:34:06All right.
00:34:07Lucy Brown, who used to work at the Rosencrantz.
00:34:09What are you doing?
00:34:10Reciting or something?
00:34:11It's Lucy Brown, I tell you.
00:34:12The prettiest little barmaid has ever drawn a pint.
00:34:14Barmaid?
00:34:15He's talking out of the back of his neck.
00:34:16No, I ain't.
00:34:17I'd know her anywhere.
00:34:18Is this true?
00:34:19Yes, it's true.
00:34:20Used to be the family secret, but now it'll be all over Oxford.
00:34:23No, it won't.
00:34:25Who knows about it but us?
00:34:26Yes, but us includes him.
00:34:27Oh, I won't say a word.
00:34:29Not if you give me a couple of quid.
00:34:31Where am I going to find a couple of quid?
00:34:33In your tobacco jar.
00:34:34I haven't got two quid in me tobacco jar.
00:34:36Oh, that's right.
00:34:41It's gone.
00:34:42That's right.
00:34:43Do you mean to say you pinched it?
00:34:44No, no, I was just minding it for you.
00:34:46I suppose I can keep it now, can't I?
00:34:48Of course you can keep it.
00:34:49Big-hearted Arthur, that's me.
00:34:51Just remember one word from you about this in your forest.
00:34:54There'll be an empty space in the old-age pensions queue next Monday.
00:34:57Oh, dear.
00:34:58Oh, I admit their conduct merits the severest action.
00:35:01At the same time, there are certain factors to be taken into account.
00:35:05For instance?
00:35:06Well, I just learned that one of them, well, all three of them have an aunt
00:35:10who is in a very delicate state of health.
00:35:13I see.
00:35:14I believe her heart is in no condition to withstand a severe shock.
00:35:18And who is this lady they're all so concerned about?
00:35:20Lady Blessington Snive.
00:35:23It turns out she finances deserving causes, does she not?
00:35:28Does she?
00:35:30Oh, yes, I believe I have heard something of the sort.
00:35:34It's too incredible a story, altogether too incredible.
00:35:37You don't believe it?
00:35:38Well, frankly, no.
00:35:39And if you feel disinclined to deal with these men,
00:35:41it would be my duty as senior proctor to bring the matter before the vice-chancellor.
00:35:45Come in.
00:35:47I beg your pardon, sir.
00:35:48Mr. Cox wishes to see you.
00:35:51May I speak to you, sir?
00:35:53Yes, what is it?
00:35:54It's about my room, sir. I want to change it.
00:35:56Oh, why?
00:35:57I cannot tolerate the noise on my stair.
00:35:59It interferes with work.
00:36:01Mr. Brown is on your stair, is he not?
00:36:03That's right, sir. It's like living under a beer garden.
00:36:06Don't you mean a bear garden?
00:36:08Actually, sir, beer garden is more appropriate.
00:36:10Oh, why?
00:36:11I've just learned that his aunt was a barmaid here in Oxford.
00:36:14What?
00:36:15It's quite true, sir.
00:36:17Lucy Brown was a notorious character here.
00:36:19Lucy Brown?
00:36:22Do you realize, sir, that you are actually slandering a lady of title?
00:36:26If you persist in repeating this scurrilous story, Mr. Cox,
00:36:29it will be a very serious matter for you.
00:36:31Yes, very serious.
00:36:33You may go.
00:36:37Lucy Brown.
00:36:38It can't be true.
00:36:39We'll soon find out.
00:36:43Lucy Brown.
00:36:45That takes us back a bit, doesn't it?
00:36:47Takes you back a bit.
00:36:49She was here in your time, too?
00:36:51Yes, but if I may say so, not in my spare time.
00:36:54I seem to remember a little incident on the river
00:36:57which nearly resulted in your being sent down.
00:36:59I was the victim of circumstances.
00:37:01Hmm, very suspicious circumstances.
00:37:03Ah, here we are.
00:37:04Blessington Smythes.
00:37:06Married, Lucy.
00:37:08Daughter of George Brown of Oxford.
00:37:11Telegram, sir.
00:37:18Good gracious.
00:37:20What an extraordinary coincidence.
00:37:22This is from the lady herself.
00:37:24Lucy?
00:37:25Lady Blessington Smythes?
00:37:27I shall be spending a few hours in Oxford tomorrow morning with my dear nephews
00:37:31and would like to discuss their future with you
00:37:33before answering my annual call to the mysterious East.
00:37:36Lady Blessington Smythes.
00:37:39Reading, Didcot, Maidenhead and London.
00:37:45Er, Potter, is that the Birmingham train?
00:37:47It's just coming in now, sir.
00:38:04Look who's turned up.
00:38:06Come on.
00:38:08Ah, Barton, Brown.
00:38:10Good morning.
00:38:11Morning, sir.
00:38:13You've come to meet your aunt, I suppose?
00:38:15No, sir.
00:38:16Yes, sir.
00:38:17What do you mean?
00:38:18Yes, sir.
00:38:19Ah.
00:38:20And where's Jones?
00:38:21He couldn't come, sir. He's not very well.
00:38:23He's in bed, sir. He's got the flu.
00:38:25Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:38Excuse me.
00:38:40Gentlemen.
00:38:44Yoo-hoo.
00:38:54Er, Potter?
00:38:56Potter?
00:38:57What did you bring him with you for?
00:38:58He didn't. He turned up.
00:38:59You said ten minutes in, he'd study with me back to the library.
00:39:01I know.
00:39:02May I intrude on this little family party?
00:39:04Brown, introduce me to your aunt, will you?
00:39:06Auntie dear, this is the Dean.
00:39:09Oh, how do you do?
00:39:11How do you do?
00:39:12How do you do?
00:39:13I've been looking forward so much to meeting you.
00:39:15Oh, I hope you're not disappointed.
00:39:17On the contrary.
00:39:18My dear nephews have told me all about you.
00:39:21Really?
00:39:22This is my daughter, Betty.
00:39:24So this is Betty.
00:39:26Here, Dickie, hold Butterfly.
00:39:28Dickie's told me so much about you in his letters,
00:39:30I feel I've known you for years.
00:39:32May I?
00:39:38Charming girl, your daughter.
00:39:42I've engaged a conveyance if you'll allow me to take you out to the college.
00:39:45Oh, goody, goody.
00:39:47Isn't he thoughtful, Richard?
00:39:49Yes.
00:39:50Now, Albert, I...
00:39:51I do believe you're putting on weight.
00:39:54You will have to...
00:39:55Ah, ah, ah, temper.
00:39:57Trying to bite, aren't we?
00:39:59Here, take those, and don't eat them,
00:40:01because they're for poor little Arthur.
00:40:03He's sick, you know.
00:40:04Ah, poor little babe, he's my favourite.
00:40:06Really?
00:40:07Yes.
00:40:08Hey, look at that.
00:40:09Best green grapes.
00:40:10At my expense, too.
00:40:12I'm so excited to be here back in Oxford,
00:40:14this ancient home of learning and...
00:40:16All tickets, please.
00:40:18Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:40:19Yes, I haven't been here for quite a time now.
00:40:21I remember I fell off my bicycle...
00:40:23Just a moment, madam.
00:40:24This is a platform ticket.
00:40:26I beg your pardon?
00:40:27What does the gentleman say?
00:40:29This is a platform ticket, madam.
00:40:31You've just come off the train, haven't you?
00:40:33Yes.
00:40:34Oh, the puff-puff.
00:40:35Of course, you won't believe me.
00:40:37Of course, you want my train ticket, don't you?
00:40:40I don't seem to have it here.
00:40:43Well, I'm afraid you'll have to pay again.
00:40:45Oh.
00:40:46I don't seem to have any change, either.
00:40:49Albert?
00:40:50No, I haven't.
00:40:51Allow me.
00:40:53How much is the fare?
00:40:54Where from, sir?
00:40:55Oh, my dear Dean, really, you mustn't.
00:40:57I came from Birmingham.
00:40:58Where the...
00:40:59First class.
00:41:01That'll be 14 and fivepence, then, madam.
00:41:03Oh, honestly, I can't...
00:41:04There you are, my good man.
00:41:05Keep the change.
00:41:06Thank you, madam.
00:41:08Ah, then here we are.
00:41:10I think we can all squeeze in.
00:41:12Oh, no, the dear boys would much rather walk, wouldn't you boys?
00:41:15Well, at least...
00:41:16Besides, Butterfly could do with the exercise after such a long train journey.
00:41:19Then if you and Betty will sit in the front.
00:41:21Oh, no, we can all squeeze in the back.
00:41:23Come along, come along.
00:41:25Betty and I don't mind being squeezed, do we, Betty dear?
00:41:28Perhaps Betty would prefer to walk with us.
00:41:31Oh, no, Betty wouldn't.
00:41:32I want her here with me.
00:41:35Oh, dear girl.
00:41:36Now, you take Butterfly for a nice walky-talky and don't go through the town.
00:41:40Find an avenue where there's lots of nice trees.
00:41:54Now, come along in.
00:41:55This is my study.
00:41:56Oh, what a delightful room.
00:41:58What a pity I can only stay here the merest moment.
00:42:00Won't you sit over here?
00:42:02I'd rather sit over here.
00:42:04I think it's all right with you.
00:42:06What would you like, Lady Blessington-Smythe?
00:42:08Gin and French? Gin and Italian? Sherry?
00:42:10Yes, please.
00:42:12Now, Betty, my dear, you must run along.
00:42:14We have several important subjects to discuss.
00:42:16Very well, Father.
00:42:18Ah, lolly.
00:42:20I mean, most refreshing.
00:42:22I'll see you later, Lady Blessington-Smythe.
00:42:26Yes, all right.
00:42:29Well, bung-ho, as my dear late husband used to say.
00:42:33Oh, quite, quite.
00:42:35Bung-ho.
00:42:37You know, you must think I'm a frightful nuisance
00:42:39taking you away from your wonderful antiquities and has-beens and things.
00:42:43Not at all. I'm only too grateful.
00:42:45It's so delightful to find someone who shares my love of the East.
00:42:48Oh, yes, the moonlit desert, the beautiful sand.
00:42:51Ah, yes, my dear Dean, East is East and West is West.
00:42:55And the same applies to North and South.
00:42:59Now, here I've got something which I know will interest you.
00:43:02I must pop over and see it sometime.
00:43:07There.
00:43:09Now, isn't that beautiful?
00:43:11Yes. Where did you dig that up?
00:43:13Parthibes. It's over 5,000 years old.
00:43:17Oh, I can see it second-hand.
00:43:19You'll notice that as...
00:43:21Oh, bother that telephone. Pardon me, will you?
00:43:255,000 years old. Think of that.
00:43:28Study the inscription. You'll find it very interesting.
00:43:30Hello.
00:43:32Who?
00:43:34Lady Pessington Smythe?
00:43:36Yes, she is here. Why?
00:43:39Well, can't I take a message?
00:43:42Oh, very well. I'll ask her if she'll speak to you.
00:43:45Dame Jane Lucton would like to speak to you.
00:43:48Jane, Jane. Do I know her?
00:43:50She's the principal of one of our ladies' colleges.
00:43:53Oh, how did she know I was here?
00:43:55One of the penalties of fame, dear lady.
00:43:58Oh, saucebox.
00:44:00Hello. Did you want to speak to me?
00:44:03My dear Lady Blessington Smythe, I heard you were in Oxford
00:44:07and I couldn't miss the opportunity of getting in touch with you.
00:44:11I wondered if you could take tea with me this afternoon.
00:44:14Tea? Oh, my dear plain Jane...
00:44:17Dame Jane, I'm absolutely devastated,
00:44:19but I simply must get the four o'clock train.
00:44:22Oh, how disappointing.
00:44:24I was so hoping to interest you in an educational cruise.
00:44:28I was organising for my girl.
00:44:30Travel is so broadening, don't you think?
00:44:33Yes, one can learn so much on a cruise.
00:44:36Yes, but it's just a question of funds, Lady Blessington Smythe.
00:44:39These projects are so expensive.
00:44:41Yes, and at any other time I'd be most happy,
00:44:44but still, you see how it is.
00:44:47Goodbye.
00:44:49Trying to raise money for her precious cruise, I suppose.
00:44:52Yes, I don't know that I approve of cruises for young people.
00:44:55Personally, I feel that kind of education is all bunk.
00:44:58Precisely. Mind you, I believe in taking students abroad,
00:45:01provided they go with a purpose.
00:45:03Now, my Egyptian expedition...
00:45:05Oh, yes, obviously your methods are correct,
00:45:07otherwise my dear nephews would not have made such excellent progress.
00:45:11No.
00:45:12I understand that the way they have advanced is simply amazing.
00:45:15It is amazing, but not, I'm afraid, in the way that you mean.
00:45:18My dear lady, you must prepare yourself for the worst.
00:45:21The worst? You don't mean the boot?
00:45:24The boot.
00:45:25Oh. Oh.
00:45:27Why, what's the matter?
00:45:28Oh, my heart.
00:45:29Your heart?
00:45:30Oh, it's fair opening and shutting.
00:45:32Oh, the doctor warned me.
00:45:34I'll get you some brandy.
00:45:35Yes, it's over there.
00:45:37Oh. Oh.
00:45:39Oh, those poor boys,
00:45:41thrown out in the world without a B.A. to their name.
00:45:45Now, then, drink this.
00:45:47It'll do you good.
00:45:48Oh.
00:45:49That's it.
00:45:51Better?
00:45:52Nearly.
00:45:55Oh, I'm so sorry to have distressed you.
00:45:57Oh, it's all right.
00:45:59I'm better now.
00:46:00Oh, but you must do something for those poor boys.
00:46:02Couldn't you stand them on a form or something?
00:46:04Well, I'm afraid...
00:46:05Oh, they're coming on again.
00:46:06No, no, no, control yourself, dear lady.
00:46:08Control yourself.
00:46:09I'll do everything in my power.
00:46:11Oh, you will?
00:46:13Yes, but I'm afraid the matter's not in my hands any longer.
00:46:16It now rests with the senior proctor.
00:46:18Him? What's it got to do with him?
00:46:19He's bringing it before the vice-chancellor
00:46:21at four o'clock this afternoon.
00:46:23Oh, can't you do something to stop it?
00:46:25Well, unfortunately, he insists on exercising his prerogative.
00:46:29Oh, well.
00:46:30Well, I must go and warn my poor nephews
00:46:32what is coming to them.
00:46:34Ah, but you're not going, surely?
00:46:36I hoped we might discuss my expedition.
00:46:38Oh, the ancient Egyptians.
00:46:40Oh, I'm afraid I'll have to give that further consideration.
00:46:43Just as you wish.
00:46:44After all, they've been buried for thousands of years.
00:46:47They should keep for another couple of days.
00:46:50Oh, it's all right, don't bother. I'll find my own way.
00:46:53Then I shall see you before you go.
00:46:55Of course, of course.
00:46:57Au revoir for the present.
00:47:03Ah, there he is.
00:47:10Well, what did the dean say?
00:47:11Did he get it all washed out?
00:47:12No, it was all washed out.
00:47:13Why?
00:47:14M.C. Finnish, no good.
00:47:15It's in the hands of the proctor
00:47:16and he's seeing the vice-chancellor at four o'clock.
00:47:18Then you'll have to get to work on him.
00:47:19Who, the proctor?
00:47:20No bloomin' fair.
00:47:21Now, listen, you silly little man.
00:47:22Now, it's no good of arguing.
00:47:23I'm through with the whole business.
00:47:25And the extraordinary part was
00:47:26that he was put in the wrong class, you see.
00:47:28He wasn't highly commended, but he was highly delighted.
00:47:30Now, listen.
00:47:31Would you strike a defenseless woman with a child in her arms?
00:47:36Here, if you don't turn this up,
00:47:37I'll take these clothes off
00:47:38and do a Lady Godard around the quad.
00:47:40Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:47:41Here, hold that.
00:47:42There's the boy.
00:47:43Thanks.
00:47:50Oh, that's torn it.
00:47:51I'll tell you what to do.
00:47:53You can just leave me alone with it.
00:47:55Oh, my dear girl, what are you doing here?
00:47:58Stop fooling, Arthur.
00:47:59I can see through you.
00:48:01I want to know the meaning of all this.
00:48:03Well, it's a long story.
00:48:06You see, when I was a little girl...
00:48:08We were in an awful mess, Betty.
00:48:09And Arthur thought that if he...
00:48:10Arthur thought?
00:48:11I like that.
00:48:12We worked out the whole planning committee.
00:48:13Was it part of the plan
00:48:14that I should be kissed publicly on Oxford Station?
00:48:16No, I put that bit in myself.
00:48:18Well, I was going to tell Father.
00:48:20But I've decided to say nothing,
00:48:21provided you take off those ridiculous clothes
00:48:23and endless nonsense.
00:48:24You're doing this for us, Betty.
00:48:25No, I'm not.
00:48:26But I don't want Father to burst a blood vessel.
00:48:28If there's any more of it, I'll risk it.
00:48:30So now you know.
00:48:33Now we know.
00:48:35Now we know.
00:48:40Oh, you gave me quite a start.
00:48:42Oh, I want to get up.
00:48:44I don't want any cracks from you.
00:48:45Put this back in, moth balls.
00:48:47Get me some slippers for my poor old feet.
00:48:55Like one of the Dean's fireworks.
00:48:59A present for a good boy.
00:49:00Oh.
00:49:01Got a match?
00:49:05Yeah.
00:49:07I don't know.
00:49:17Some flowers come.
00:49:19Who's been ordering flowers?
00:49:20I'm not paying for them.
00:49:22They're for Lady Blessings and Smiles
00:49:23with a Proctor's Confidence.
00:49:25Oh, my.
00:49:26Yes, Proctor.
00:49:27He's saying it with flowers.
00:49:29Ooh.
00:49:30Hey, here's a note.
00:49:32Oh, it's a billy-do for me.
00:49:34Ha-ha.
00:49:35Have it read to me.
00:49:36Oh, listen to this.
00:49:38Dear Lady Blessings and Smiles,
00:49:40or may I say Lucy.
00:49:42Ooh, Lucy.
00:49:44Your presence here has brought back tender memories
00:49:47of those happy hours we spent locked in the kindly bosom
00:49:51of the dear old River Isis.
00:49:53Ooh.
00:49:54Isis, Isis.
00:49:55Lovely Isis.
00:49:56I'll have a raspberry.
00:49:57Hey, wait a minute.
00:49:58I'm finished yet.
00:49:59May I hope that these few flowers
00:50:01may cause you to recall those gossamer days.
00:50:04Ooh, gossamer days.
00:50:06Forever yours, James Crawley.
00:50:09Earthworm Bubbles.
00:50:11Popeye.
00:50:12Bubbles.
00:50:13Yeah.
00:50:18Bubbles.
00:50:19Bubbles.
00:50:20Bubbles.
00:50:21Bubbles.
00:50:22Bubbles.
00:50:23Bubbles.
00:50:24Bubbles.
00:50:25Bubbles.
00:50:26Bubbles.
00:50:27Bubbles.
00:50:29Ooh.
00:50:30There they go.
00:50:39Lunch.
00:50:40Lunch.
00:50:41Ooh.
00:50:42Oh, where's my bag?
00:50:43Where's my gloves?
00:50:44Where's my hat?
00:50:45Here's my suit.
00:50:46Here they are.
00:50:47Here's the suit.
00:50:48Hold that side.
00:50:49Move your gloves.
00:50:50Get out.
00:50:55Come in.
00:50:59Good afternoon, Barton.
00:51:00Good afternoon, sir.
00:51:01I called to see Lady Blessington Smythe.
00:51:05Lady, she's in there with Jones.
00:51:07He's got the flu, sir.
00:51:08Jones has.
00:51:09He's pretty bad.
00:51:10Indeed?
00:51:11Yes.
00:51:12Well, perhaps you'd better let her know that I'm here.
00:51:14I'll tell her, sir.
00:51:15Won't you sit down, sir?
00:51:16And I'll tell her that you're here.
00:51:18Sir, here.
00:51:21Bubbles.
00:51:22Oh, what did you tell him I was here for?
00:51:24Listen, don't you see?
00:51:25It's our big chance.
00:51:26I'm taking no more chances.
00:51:27You heard what Betty said.
00:51:28She'll never know it's a gift.
00:51:29He's got right into our lap.
00:51:30Well, he's not dropping into mine.
00:51:31All you've got to do is to lead him up the garden.
00:51:34No, better still.
00:51:35Lead him up the river.
00:51:36What, like I did in my gossamer days?
00:51:37Don't be daft.
00:51:38Listen, he's got to see the vice chancellor at 4 o'clock.
00:51:41If you lock him in the kindly bosom of the dear old Isis,
00:51:43you can keep him there until it's too late.
00:51:45That's it.
00:51:46Bump him and save the lot of us.
00:51:47Sorry, lads.
00:51:48The price is too high.
00:51:49I'm not going to go through with it.
00:51:50What are you doing?
00:51:51Let go of me.
00:51:52What are you doing?
00:51:53Let go of me.
00:51:55I tell you, I'm not going through with it.
00:51:56Leave me alone.
00:52:01Oh, how do you do?
00:52:03Don't say that you've forgotten me, Lucy.
00:52:06It isn't.
00:52:07Yes, it is.
00:52:08Mr. Crawley.
00:52:09Are you surprised to find me here?
00:52:11Well, fancy you still going about.
00:52:13I see you've got my little offering.
00:52:15Oh, yes, my favorite flowers.
00:52:18Oh, Mr. Crawley, fancy you remembering after all these years.
00:52:22You're a naughty, extravagant boy.
00:52:24I'll be very cross with you.
00:52:28No, but you're not angry with me for coming to see you like this.
00:52:31Oh, no.
00:52:34Merely taken aback.
00:52:36When you deserted me, I plunged into my work here.
00:52:40It helped to keep my mind off you.
00:52:42Talking of things,
00:52:44it can't be true that you're going up to the stuffy old vice chancellor
00:52:47to do the dirty, to speak harshly of my dear nephews.
00:52:52That is my unhappy duty, Lucy.
00:52:54Ah, but now that you've met me, you won't do it, will you, baboons?
00:52:58I'm afraid I have no option.
00:53:00Then you're a hard-hearted, creepy Crawley,
00:53:02and I never want to see you again.
00:53:04Never.
00:53:05Leave me.
00:53:06Leave me.
00:53:07Leave me.
00:53:08You want me to go?
00:53:09Yes.
00:53:10Go?
00:53:11No, no, come back.
00:53:12As a punishment, you shall take me on the river this afternoon.
00:53:14Oh, but I'm afraid I can't do that.
00:53:16I have to be with the vice chancellor at four o'clock.
00:53:19Four o'clock, but we still have two hours.
00:53:21That's not very long.
00:53:23Oh, I don't know.
00:53:24A lot can happen in a couple of hours.
00:53:28More begging letters, I suppose.
00:53:30Oh, dear.
00:53:31Look at them.
00:53:32Manchester.
00:53:33Brighton.
00:53:34Llandudno.
00:53:36Oxford.
00:53:37Oxford?
00:53:38Hmm.
00:53:39There's something wrong about this one.
00:53:42Mr. Albert Brown, 47 pounds 10,
00:53:47the dirty little...
00:53:50little rascal.
00:53:52Anything wrong, milady?
00:53:53Anything wrong?
00:53:54My nephew owes a wine merchant 47 pounds 10,
00:53:56and he told me he was a teetotaler.
00:53:58Ring up O'Gate College immediately.
00:54:00I'll have something to say to that young man.
00:54:03Oh, dear.
00:54:04Oh, dear.
00:54:05Oh, dear.
00:54:06Oh, dear.
00:54:07Oh, dear.
00:54:08Oh, dear.
00:54:09Oh, dear.
00:54:10Hmm...
00:54:13Oh wait.
00:54:20Hello.
00:54:22Who?
00:54:23Mr. Brown?
00:54:24No, he ain't in.
00:54:25Then go and find him at once.
00:54:27I can't go running all over the college after him.
00:54:29What's it about?
00:54:31It's about a wine bill for 47 pounds 10.
00:54:35Oh, don't worry about that.
00:54:36You'll get paid alright.
00:54:38Oh, I will, will I?
00:54:39Well, that's some comfort anyway.
00:54:4147 pound 10.
00:54:43You know where he owes his tailor?
00:54:4594 pound 6. Andy will get it.
00:54:4794 pounds? Are you sure?
00:54:50Hey, that's nothing.
00:54:51You know where he owes his bookmaker?
00:54:53Over 200 pounds. Andy will get it.
00:54:56May I inquire from where?
00:54:58Well, he's got a silly old aunt.
00:55:00She's rolling him, though.
00:55:01All he's got to say to her is,
00:55:02Aunty, I want 600 pounds. Andy will get it.
00:55:05I'm inclined to think he will.
00:55:16Oh, isn't this too, too heavenly?
00:55:18Delightful.
00:55:20I hope you're watching the time.
00:55:22Oh, yes, yes.
00:55:26Oh, it's not three o'clock yet.
00:55:28Do you remember those delightful summer evenings
00:55:31when we used to drift along just as we are doing now?
00:55:34Yes.
00:55:35How far used we to drift?
00:55:37Sometimes as far as the locket I slipped.
00:55:39Who slipped?
00:55:40I slipped.
00:55:41Oh, as long as I didn't.
00:55:43I wonder if we ought to be turning back.
00:55:45Oh, no, no. Now, you must have a rest.
00:55:47I tell you what, I'll turn the record, shall I?
00:55:49Oh, we've had both sides now.
00:55:51I'll see if I can play the rim.
00:55:53See if you can find a nice little place
00:55:55where we can tie up for a couple of minutes.
00:55:57Well, there are some willows just ahead.
00:56:05Oh, gracious me.
00:56:14Well, Lucy,
00:56:16little did I think that we should be here again together
00:56:19after all these years.
00:56:21Oh, yes, it must be fate, Mr. Crawley.
00:56:23You used to call me Bubbles.
00:56:25Yes, but I realize I'm getting a big girl now.
00:56:28I still have a few souvenirs
00:56:31I still have a few souvenirs of those happy days.
00:56:35Oh, yes?
00:56:37Do you remember this?
00:56:39What is it, a ham frill?
00:56:43Oh, my goodness, my garter.
00:56:46You gave me that on our last evening together.
00:56:50Gave it to you? You naughty boy.
00:56:52I believe you took it.
00:56:54Don't you remember?
00:56:56Yes, I, uh...
00:56:58I went home with my stocking all round my ankle
00:57:00and got all that bitten.
00:57:02I don't remember that.
00:57:04You don't think I'd show you mine that much, do you?
00:57:11Um, do you remember if I wore this above or below the knee?
00:57:16Really? No idea.
00:57:18Well, turn away. I'm going to find out.
00:57:21Look the other way.
00:57:27All right, you can look now.
00:57:30Many years have passed, Lucy,
00:57:32since I last held this little hand in mine.
00:57:35Since we wandered through the dewy fields.
00:57:39I trust, Lucy, that time has not...
00:57:42that time has not...
00:57:45that time has not...
00:57:47I should switch that off. It's getting a bit umdrum, isn't it?
00:57:50You were saying?
00:57:52I was saying that I hoped you...
00:57:54Great heavens, what's that string?
00:57:56That'll be 3 o'clock.
00:57:59Oh, great heavens, excuse me, Lucy.
00:58:02My appointment, I shall be late.
00:58:04I... I have to visit the vice-chancellor.
00:58:18Take care. You have a silver.
00:58:20Oh, it'll be all right.
00:58:22Look out! Look out!
00:58:28Oh!
00:58:36Miss Rochor, there's someone in the river.
00:58:38Where? Here.
00:58:40Oh, it's a woman.
00:58:46There she is. I want you to swim.
00:58:48She doesn't know me.
00:58:50There you go.
00:58:52Oh!
00:58:56Oh!
00:59:04Oh!
00:59:06Oh!
00:59:08Oh!
00:59:23Come on, girls.
00:59:30Now, stand away there, girls. Don't crawl round.
00:59:37Hey. Hey, now, kids.
00:59:39You're pulling me arms out.
00:59:41Oh, she's conscious.
00:59:43Another couple of minutes of that and I wouldn't have been.
00:59:45Whatever happened?
00:59:47Oh, I was... I was out in a boat with a man.
00:59:49Oh, it was hot, ain't it?
00:59:51You don't mean that...
00:59:53I do. You've no idea.
00:59:55Fortunately, the boat overturned.
00:59:57What a beast.
00:59:59Oh, there he is.
01:00:01Oh, the wicked old man.
01:00:03Keep him away from me.
01:00:05Keep him away.
01:00:07I'll soon settle him.
01:00:09Go away, you ruffian.
01:00:11You can't land here.
01:00:13But I must get out. I'm exhausted.
01:00:15Then you must go further down.
01:00:17This is the property of Swinburne College.
01:00:19Go away.
01:00:27What on earth's going on here?
01:00:29Oh, gracious, it's Mr. Crawley.
01:00:31Help him out at once. He'll catch his death.
01:00:33Serve him right, Potter.
01:00:37It's unbelievable, are you sure?
01:00:39It's outrageous.
01:00:41Go on, away with you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
01:00:43You're aged.
01:00:45Don't come to me.
01:00:49Here. Hang on to that.
01:00:51And float on.
01:00:53Where is this poor unfortunate lady?
01:00:55Oh, you poor woman.
01:00:57I'm going to take those wet clothes off at once.
01:00:59Oh, no. You mustn't do that.
01:01:01Nonsense. Now, girls, take her inside, quickly.
01:01:03Yes, but you don't understand.
01:01:05I could explain it.
01:01:11Crikey.
01:01:13They're taking him into the clubhouse.
01:01:15What a lark, innit?
01:01:17Oh, we must get across there before he's unfrotten.
01:01:19Come on, come on.
01:01:23Come along, girls.
01:01:31You've done enough for me already.
01:01:33Nonsense. Take her into the dressing room and give her something hot to drink.
01:01:35Yes, I...
01:01:37Oh.
01:01:39Oh, they're all undressed.
01:01:41Naturally, it's a changing room.
01:01:43Come along.
01:01:45It's a man-to-man, a woman-to-woman act.
01:01:47Oh, I...
01:01:53Whatever is the matter, Betty?
01:01:55Oh, I just made a letter in my stocking.
01:01:57Well, there's no need to scream like that about it.
01:01:59Come on, girls.
01:02:01Help this poor lady off with her clothes.
01:02:03Oh, no, no, no. Please, please, please. Not here.
01:02:05Oh, I can't bear it.
01:02:07Oh, you wouldn't understand.
01:02:09Haven't you got a cubicle or a tool shed or something private?
01:02:11I want to be alone.
01:02:13Oh, I quite understand.
01:02:15Take her into the bathroom. That man's unnurtured.
01:02:17I'm just telling you. It's outrageous.
01:02:19Now, come along here, dear. You'll be all right in here.
01:02:21And if you'll pass out your wet things,
01:02:23we'll have them dried for you.
01:02:25Thank you. Thank you so much.
01:02:27And I'll come in in a minute and give you a massage.
01:02:29It'll make a new woman of you.
01:02:31Oh, no, no. No, no, thank you. I'm quite new enough as it is.
01:02:33Oh, but this is marvellous stuff.
01:02:35You'd be surprised.
01:02:37Yes, so would you.
01:02:39But to keep the vice-chancellor waiting like this,
01:02:41you know, it's unthinkable.
01:02:45It's very unlike Crawley.
01:02:47I can't imagine what's happened to him.
01:02:51Hello? Yes.
01:02:53Yes, speaking.
01:02:55Oh, good afternoon, madam.
01:02:57What?
01:02:59A most disgusting and revolting incident in a punt.
01:03:03On the river in broad daylight?
01:03:05Oh, no, no, no. You must be mistaken.
01:03:07Hmm.
01:03:09Well, what was the student's name?
01:03:13Mr Crawley, the proctor?
01:03:15Are you quite sure?
01:03:19Is the lady safe?
01:03:21Oh, yes, indeed.
01:03:23Very distressing. Very.
01:03:25Certainly, I'll come over right away.
01:03:27Yes, thank you very much. Goodbye.
01:03:33Come in.
01:03:37Hello.
01:03:41Feeling better?
01:03:43Ever so.
01:03:45I've reported this disgraceful business to the dean,
01:03:47and I can promise you the fullest investigations.
01:03:49Oh, but I don't want it investigated.
01:03:51Surely the culprit must be exposed.
01:03:53Yes, but, I mean, think of me.
01:03:55Think of the headlines.
01:03:57Title lady has fun in punt.
01:03:59Title lady?
01:04:01Yes, I'm Lady Blessington-Smith.
01:04:03Well, well, well.
01:04:05I'm Dame Jane Lockton.
01:04:07I telephoned you this morning.
01:04:09Oh, you're the lady who runs the Sunshine Cruises?
01:04:11Educational cruises.
01:04:13And now that you've missed your train,
01:04:15you must certainly stay on the sea with me.
01:04:17Oh, but, my dear Dame Trott, I...
01:04:19No, no, I won't listen to any refusal.
01:04:21I'll make arrangements at once,
01:04:23which is most providential.
01:04:29All sunk.
01:04:33Oh.
01:04:47Er, come in.
01:04:51Oh, Betty.
01:04:53I warned you.
01:04:55I told you not to go on with it.
01:04:57Now look at the mess you've got yourself into.
01:04:59You've done her the worst.
01:05:01Over a cup of tea. Ha-ha!
01:05:03Here, you've got to get me out of this.
01:05:05Ooh!
01:05:07Stinker.
01:05:11There he is.
01:05:13You've landed me in a fine old mess you have.
01:05:15There's no time for argument.
01:05:17Get back to the college and fetch my clothes.
01:05:21And get a move on.
01:05:23Well, I've managed to borrow some clothes.
01:05:25Thank you very much. I'll take them.
01:05:27You'll pardon me, Miss Forsyte.
01:05:29You're in a lady's dressing room.
01:05:31You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
01:05:33Away with you.
01:05:35Excuse me.
01:05:37Oh, hello. I thought I heard a buzz.
01:05:39Dame Jane sent me across with a change of clothes.
01:05:41She wants me to take you to her study as soon as you're dressed.
01:05:43Oh, thank you.
01:05:47Would you give me a hand?
01:05:49Yes, of course, with pleasure.
01:05:51Oh! Oh!
01:05:53Oh, dear, you're all wet.
01:05:55Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
01:05:57Oh, you must let me take Lady Besant and smile, over.
01:05:59Miss Forsyte, my principal has given me instructions I shall carry out.
01:06:03Well, I'll be ready as soon as you are.
01:06:05Oh, yes. Well, it won't take me very long to get...
01:06:07You're good, Jane.
01:06:09I'll get my hair done in the meantime.
01:06:19Oh, I've just had a most unfortunate experience.
01:06:21So I gather.
01:06:23I heard a mishap on the river and my punter was turned.
01:06:25I don't know what upset him.
01:06:27I do. Dame Jane has just telephoned me.
01:06:29Apparently, the leopard has not changed his spots, Crawley.
01:06:33But you suggested that I behaved in an improper manner.
01:06:36Now, it's no use blustering.
01:06:38You must learn self-control.
01:06:40I? Self-control?
01:06:42Please. I'm on my way now to hear the whole story.
01:06:45But I...
01:06:55Oh, my good man.
01:06:57I want to see the Dean of Bogut.
01:06:59Can you direct me?
01:07:01He's not in.
01:07:03Could you tell me where I find him?
01:07:05He's gone to visit the president of...
01:07:07Oh!
01:07:09Do you think he will be there long?
01:07:11I don't know.
01:07:13What a nuisance. I've got to be at Birmingham tonight.
01:07:17Harknett. Yes, milady?
01:07:19Drive me to the...
01:07:21Yes, milady.
01:07:23What's the matter?
01:07:25Aunt Lucy! What?
01:07:27It's the real one!
01:07:29Yes, it is. It's Aunt Lucy.
01:07:31Come on.
01:07:37Now, go along.
01:07:39Nice little place you have here.
01:07:41So cosy.
01:07:43Oh, hello, Philip.
01:07:45Here, find the boys and get them here at once.
01:07:47I've got to get out of this tea party.
01:07:49Tell them me Uncle Joe's floating kidneys.
01:07:51Tell them anything.
01:07:53Goodbye. Thank you so much.
01:07:55Goodbye. Goodbye.
01:08:01I was unaware when I phoned you
01:08:03that the lady in the case was Lady Bletchington's wife.
01:08:05I'm sorry.
01:08:07I'm sorry.
01:08:09I'm sorry.
01:08:11I was unaware when I phoned you
01:08:13that the lady in the case was Lady Bletchington's wife.
01:08:15Good gracious.
01:08:17I don't think we should discuss it in front of her.
01:08:19She's distressed enough as it is.
01:08:21We'll talk of it in here, if you don't mind.
01:08:23Certainly.
01:08:25If my nephews call you, let me know immediately.
01:08:27Of course. Dame Jane won't be long.
01:08:29Oh, then she's not here yet?
01:08:31No, but she'll be up in a few minutes.
01:08:33Oh, tell her not to hurry up my account.
01:08:35And there's no need for you to wait.
01:08:37Here you are, then.
01:08:39I'll go myself.
01:08:41Just as you please.
01:08:43If there's anything you do want, I'll be out here.
01:08:45Oh, you will?
01:08:47Yes.
01:08:51You mean you'll be here all the time I'm in here?
01:08:53Yes, all the time.
01:08:55Yes.
01:09:03Good afternoon.
01:09:05Oh, good afternoon.
01:09:07No sign of rain?
01:09:09No.
01:09:11I expect you're wondering what I'm doing in your study,
01:09:13but I was told the Dean of Bogate was with you.
01:09:15With me?
01:09:17You are the principal, aren't you?
01:09:19Dame Jane? Oh, no, no, no.
01:09:21Oh, I'm so sorry. You'll be waiting to see her.
01:09:23Well, I'm expecting to go at any moment.
01:09:25Oh, am I intruding?
01:09:27Oh, no, no. I mean, after all, ladies first.
01:09:29I mean, you were here first.
01:09:31Oh.
01:09:33Yes, thank you very much.
01:09:35Is that your tea?
01:09:37Is it?
01:09:39Oh, yes, yes. Would you like a cup?
01:09:41I would very much, thank you.
01:09:43Shall I be mother?
01:09:45Oh, yes, please.
01:09:49Would you mind that for me?
01:09:51Oh, all right.
01:09:53Have you burnt yourself?
01:09:55Not much.
01:09:57Why don't you use the holder?
01:09:59The holder? Yes.
01:10:01Oh, this?
01:10:03It was a crumpet.
01:10:05Yes.
01:10:07Do you know Oxford well? I used to.
01:10:09Are you a Noxonian?
01:10:11Well, in a way, my people come from cows.
01:10:13Talking of cows,
01:10:15milk?
01:10:17Please, yes. Say when.
01:10:19Now, now.
01:10:21Up to the pretty.
01:10:23There you are.
01:10:25I won't be bitten again.
01:10:29I think it's bunged up.
01:10:31I hope they won't be long.
01:10:33It must be best before it gets late.
01:10:35Yes.
01:10:37So must I, before it's too late.
01:10:39Why, do you live far?
01:10:41Oh, yes, rather a long way. Birmingham.
01:10:43Birmingham, which part?
01:10:45Handsworth.
01:10:47Really? That is where I live.
01:10:49Do you?
01:10:51Curious that we've never met?
01:10:53Yes.
01:10:55I'm very seldom home.
01:10:57Which part of Handsworth do you live in?
01:10:59A park square.
01:11:01Really, this is a most extraordinary coincidence.
01:11:03Do you know that I live at park square too?
01:11:07That just shows, doesn't it,
01:11:09that one part of the square
01:11:11doesn't know where the other part of the square lives.
01:11:13Yes.
01:11:15Which side do you live on?
01:11:17Well, it depends
01:11:19which end you come in from.
01:11:21Mine is the last house on the north corner.
01:11:23Holly Hall.
01:11:25Holly Hall?
01:11:27Holly Hall?
01:11:29Yes, I'm Lady Blessington Five.
01:11:31Who are you?
01:11:33Oh, I'm...
01:11:35I'm not feeling very well.
01:11:37My dear lady,
01:11:39I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting.
01:11:41Oh, don't mention it.
01:11:43In fact, don't say another word.
01:11:45The Dean insisted on making his personal apologies.
01:11:47Yes, couldn't he make them
01:11:49on the way down to the gate?
01:11:51I really can't stay another minute.
01:11:53Is this the Dean of Bowgate?
01:11:55Yes, that's the Dean of Bowgate.
01:11:57How do you do?
01:11:59And this is Dame Jane Luxton.
01:12:01How do you do?
01:12:03And this is...
01:12:05Oh, I beg your pardon.
01:12:07I must have got my comms wet.
01:12:09Well, now that's all settled,
01:12:11I'll be pushing along.
01:12:13There's a telephone message for Lady Blessington Five.
01:12:15I put it through here.
01:12:17It's on the desk.
01:12:19Oh, my heart.
01:12:21Oh, my heart.
01:12:23Oh, my heart.
01:12:31Yes, Lady Blessington Five?
01:12:33Here, come off it.
01:12:35It's Albert speaking.
01:12:37Here, cut out the Aunt Lucy stuff and beat it quick.
01:12:39The old haybag's here herself.
01:12:47Lady Blessington Five,
01:12:49that was your nephew Albert.
01:12:51Yes.
01:12:53He says you'd better beat it.
01:12:55The old haybag is here herself.
01:12:57Goodbye, all.
01:13:22Hey!
01:13:24Hey!
01:13:42Hank, what are you running for?
01:13:44Come on in again.
01:13:46Come on in.
01:13:48Come on, move that piano.
01:13:50It's all Albert's fault.
01:13:52What? I only told you Aunty was here.
01:13:54I know, you didn't tell me, you told Aunty.
01:13:56I'm one of my six beds, will you be great?
01:13:58Yes.
01:14:00Hey, where does this get us?
01:14:02There's been two Aunty Lucys running around this town today,
01:14:04so if we bung these clothes in the furnace and burn them,
01:14:06that gets rid of one of them and lets me out.
01:14:08Yeah, lets us in.
01:14:10Well, it was your idea, this Aunty Lucy,
01:14:12so sort it out among yourselves.
01:14:14Hard-hearted Arthur, that's me.
01:14:16Why, you dirty double-crossing...
01:14:18Take this Aunty Lucy down to the furnace and burn her.
01:14:20By the time the others arrive, I'll have thought of something.
01:14:26You will have to think hard, Jones.
01:14:30I'll take charge of those.
01:14:32You will all of you report to the Dean
01:14:34tomorrow morning at ten.
01:14:36Aye, thank you all.
01:14:42Oxford's not a bad place, was it?
01:14:44I'll try three.
01:14:46No, not so bad as a hole. I'll pass.
01:14:48No, it's all right as a hole.
01:14:50I'll go four.
01:14:52Boys, I go next.
01:14:54What again?
01:14:56You always was a one, Lucy.
01:15:00I thought our education was completed.
01:15:02On the contrary, it's only just beginning.
01:15:04My dear husband's going to take you in hand.
01:15:06Husband? You haven't gone and done it again, have you, Aunty?
01:15:08No, but I'm going to.
01:15:12Come in, Henry dear.
01:15:14Struth Bubbles!
01:15:16Him? Not likely.
01:15:18Hey, where are you going?
01:15:20I'm going to try Cambridge. Goodbye, everybody.
01:15:22Hey there, gals.
01:15:24Hey, wait for us!