Through the influence of a relative, a hopeless railway employee is made stationmaster of the sleepy Irish station of Buggleskelly. Determined to make his mark, he devises a number of schemes to put Buggleskelly on the railway map, but instead falls foul of a gang of gunrunners.
Source: IMDB
Source: IMDB
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I want to go to Birmingham and they're taking me on to Croom.
00:00:29Oh, Mr. Porter, what a funny man you are.
00:00:59And as the managing director of this railway, it gives me great pleasure in asking the vice
00:01:23of the Ministry of Public Communications to christen our new engine.
00:01:30I now christen you the Silver Link.
00:01:36As Minister of Public Communications, speaking on behalf of my wife and myself, we would
00:01:43like to place on record the pride we feel that you should have selected us to perform
00:01:52this ceremony.
00:01:53In all the years I've been in office, I can recall no happier occasion.
00:02:03No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:02:06Don't stop him.
00:02:07The work of the railway must go on.
00:02:09Oh, that's all right.
00:02:10I can wait.
00:02:11I'll listen to you.
00:02:12Willie.
00:02:13What's our Willie doing here?
00:02:14Come here, my man.
00:02:15So you're the wheel tapper, eh?
00:02:17That reminds me of a story they used to tell about a wheel tapper on the line.
00:02:22He'd been tapping wheels for 40 years.
00:02:24And one day somebody asked him why he tapped the wheels.
00:02:27And what do you think he said?
00:02:29He said, I'm blown if I know.
00:02:33He'd been tapping wheels for 40 years and didn't know why.
00:02:42Well, you may think me a little stupid.
00:02:44But why do they tap them?
00:02:46Ah, well, uh, well, you see, it's like this, madam.
00:02:49If I tap the wheel with this hammer and the wheel goes clang, then I know the wheel's there.
00:02:54You see?
00:02:55Yes, but suppose the wheel doesn't go clang.
00:02:58Well, then I know the train's gone.
00:03:08That's the lock.
00:03:09Thanks.
00:03:10Hold on.
00:03:14Pair of dark trousers with white pinstripe.
00:03:16Here.
00:03:18Ditto.
00:03:19Cleaning number 1349.
00:03:21Those are mine.
00:03:24I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
00:03:27To think that I should live to see my own brother working as a common wheel tapper.
00:03:30But, my dear.
00:03:31What's the good of being managing director if you can't get Willie a better position than that?
00:03:34But we've tried him in everything.
00:03:36Well, if that's the best you can do, I shall insist on Willie resigning from the railway altogether.
00:03:40You mean, leave us all together?
00:03:42Certainly. After all, there's no need for him to work on the line.
00:03:45No, there must be other things he can do.
00:03:47Exactly. He can come and live with us.
00:03:49What? In our house?
00:03:51Why not? Better that than tapping wheels.
00:03:53But, my dear.
00:03:54My mind is made up.
00:03:55Either Willie gets a decent job or he comes to live with us.
00:03:58Yes, but...
00:03:59Undo that thing and don't argue.
00:04:00Don't be hasty, my dear.
00:04:02I'll see the superintendent at once.
00:04:04That's more like it.
00:04:05I'll go and fetch Willie.
00:04:07But, I can't, sir. He should be fired.
00:04:09You know the board's attitude towards incompetence.
00:04:11No, you don't understand, old man.
00:04:13If he's fired, my wife's going to have him live with us.
00:04:16Oh, life wouldn't be worth living.
00:04:17I wouldn't have a sock to call my own.
00:04:19Oh, you have my sympathy, sir.
00:04:20Sympathy's no good.
00:04:21What I want is help.
00:04:23Well, have you any special position in mind for him?
00:04:26No, no. So long as it has the semblance of promotion.
00:04:29Well, would it matter if we sent him very far away?
00:04:32The farther, the better.
00:04:33Well, now let me see.
00:04:35Come on, Willie. There's nothing to be nervous about.
00:04:38Oh, I'm not nervous. I've been here before.
00:04:40I hope you've explained the situation, Charles.
00:04:42Well, my dear, I was just...
00:04:44You see, Mr. Young, we don't think it conforms with our dignity
00:04:47to have a relative of ours tapping wheels.
00:04:49We've never had a tapper in our family, have we, Willie?
00:04:51Well, there was Uncle Joe.
00:04:53I thought we'd taken you off tapping.
00:04:55You were supposed to be sorting parcels.
00:04:56What were you doing on the line, anyway?
00:04:58Well, after I'd checked 200 stilt and cheeses,
00:05:00I needed some fresh air.
00:05:01You've never given the boy a proper chance.
00:05:03We've tried him in many capacities, my dear.
00:05:05What positions has he held?
00:05:09In 1934, we made him chief coupler at Miggleswick.
00:05:13And you know what you did there.
00:05:15Yes, I coupled.
00:05:16Yes, you coupled a coal train to the Scotch Express.
00:05:19Who?
00:05:20I did nothing of the sort.
00:05:21You deny it.
00:05:22Certainly I do.
00:05:23I did not couple the coal train to the Scotch Express.
00:05:25I coupled the Scotch Express to the coal train.
00:05:27Fancy putting anyone with Willie's intelligence to couple trains.
00:05:30On Derby Day 1935, we put you on the indicator board.
00:05:34Yes, that's quite right.
00:05:35And you sent 12,000 racegoers to a temperance convention in Wales.
00:05:39Did you hear about that, too?
00:05:40Heard about it.
00:05:41Yes, from 12,000 racegoers.
00:05:43Charles!
00:05:44Yes, my dear?
00:05:45Either Willie gets promoted or...
00:05:48What vacancies are there?
00:05:53There's a vacancy for a sleeping car, attendant.
00:05:55No, that would keep him up too late.
00:05:57Does the guard want it for a milk train?
00:05:58No, that would get me up too early.
00:06:00Oh, well, that's all there is.
00:06:01Right, come on, Willie.
00:06:03Surely there must be something.
00:06:05Well, we've already offered him two posts.
00:06:07What does he want?
00:06:08Just a minute.
00:06:10Have you got any station masters?
00:06:12London Main Line terminus, I suppose.
00:06:14Oh, no, no.
00:06:15Start me in Manchester or Birmingham.
00:06:16I'll work my way up.
00:06:17Well, there aren't any station master vacancies.
00:06:18Ah, there you are.
00:06:19See what I'm up against.
00:06:20Victimization.
00:06:21The one job I know I can do and they won't give me a chance.
00:06:24What's this?
00:06:25Oh, that must have just come in.
00:06:26There's a place in Ireland called Buggleskelly.
00:06:28Oh, that's nothing.
00:06:29There's a place in Wales called Clanford-Whittlefield-Griffco-Goggery-Clandishilly-O-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go.
00:06:34They want a station master at Buggleskelly.
00:06:36What?
00:06:37Excuse me one minute.
00:06:40Mr. Ledbetter, about that vacancy for a station master at Buggleskelly,
00:06:43I thought we filled that a month ago.
00:06:45Yes, sir, but it's vacant again.
00:06:47Don't know, sir.
00:06:48Local conditions would appear to be peculiar.
00:06:50We've sent them five station masters in 12 months.
00:06:52What happened to the last one?
00:06:54I'll read you his letter, sir.
00:06:55Sounds a bit queer to me.
00:06:57Dear sir, since coming to this district I have discovered I am Napoleon Bonaparte
00:07:01and since you refused to transfer me to Waterloo, I resign.
00:07:04P.S. Please forward all letters to Moscow.
00:07:07I intend to retreat there.
00:07:09Extraordinary.
00:07:10And the one before him, why did he leave?
00:07:12I've no idea, sir.
00:07:13But I remember we sent a wreath.
00:07:16So is the very place.
00:07:18Can I have it?
00:07:19You've got it.
00:07:20It's a country station rather off the beaten track.
00:07:23Oh, I don't mind.
00:07:24As long as it's near the railway.
00:07:26Let me see.
00:07:29Here's our line running through Northern Ireland
00:07:32and here is Buggleskelly.
00:07:53What do you mind?
00:08:09Thanks.
00:08:10That's a grand coffee hat there, mister.
00:08:19Oh, this?
00:08:21It's just a little present from my staff when they heard I was leaving London.
00:08:24What might the inscription be?
00:08:26To William Porter, that's me,
00:08:28from his fellow workers on the occasion of his promotion to stationmaster at Buggleskelly.
00:08:33What's that he said?
00:08:35This gentleman is the new stationmaster for Buggleskelly.
00:08:39Poor man.
00:08:41Unhit a stranger.
00:08:43Why, what's wrong with him?
00:08:44It's a brave man that you are.
00:08:46No chicken a child a man will walk abroad there after dark.
00:08:49Is it damp or something?
00:08:50Did you ever hear tell of One-Eyed Joe, the phantom miller?
00:08:53No, I don't follow greyhounds.
00:08:54Follow, is it?
00:08:55Follow.
00:08:56You'll be a lucky man if One-Eyed Joe never followed you.
00:08:59He was murdered by the railway, so he was.
00:09:02In the old days he was a rich man and a miser too, so they say.
00:09:05He owned the poker hill and the mill that stands on top of it.
00:09:08You should be able to see it from here, I suppose.
00:09:15Then one day the railway came along.
00:09:16And what did they do but start to run a tunnel right through the heart of the hill
00:09:19without buy your labour or nothing?
00:09:21Well, that was hardly sick transit glory, was it?
00:09:24He should have sued them.
00:09:25He did better.
00:09:26He put a curse on the line and swore that any train that entered the tunnel
00:09:29should never come out again.
00:09:30Well, that would mess up the timetables a bit, wouldn't it?
00:09:32The first train that came along there in the mouth of the tunnel
00:09:35stood One-Eyed Joe with his arms upraised.
00:09:37Go back, go back, he cried.
00:09:39But the engine driver drove straight on.
00:09:41What, over cock-eyed Joe?
00:09:43On the next morning, his body was found on the line.
00:09:46And every night when the moon gives light, the ghost of the miller is seen
00:09:50as he walks the track with the sack on his back down to the black boheme.
00:09:55And the mill wheels turn though the night is still
00:09:58and the old lights flash from the ruined mill.
00:10:01He haunts the station, he haunts the hill and the land that lies between.
00:10:09Fuggles Kelly.
00:10:11Oh.
00:10:14Oh, that's a pub.
00:10:16Thanks.
00:10:37Hey, it's just two miles to Fuggles Kelly from here.
00:10:40I can't help it.
00:10:41Well, how do I get there?
00:10:42You walk.
00:10:43Follow this road round the putter-pucker hill.
00:10:45Pass the witch's oak.
00:10:47Drop down into Hell's Hollow.
00:10:48Well, I only asked you a simple question.
00:10:50The station's right in front of you. You can't miss it.
00:10:52Oh, well, thank you very much.
00:10:54Good night, sir.
00:10:55Goodbye to you.
00:10:56Yeah.
00:11:01Oh, you're the funny-looking bird.
00:11:04Why, you, you flat-faced fool.
00:11:10Oh.
00:11:40Oh.
00:12:10Oh.
00:12:41Oh.
00:13:01Next train's gone.
00:13:06Ouch.
00:13:07The next train's gone.
00:13:08What do you mean, next train's gone? There's no sense in that.
00:13:10It's like saying that the last train that came in hasn't...
00:13:12Hasn't what?
00:13:13Well, hasn't...
00:13:15Don't argue with me. Come out and let me in.
00:13:17Come out? What, at night? Not me.
00:13:19Hey, hey, hey.
00:13:29Oh, there you are.
00:13:30What, are you here again?
00:13:31Again? I haven't been away yet.
00:13:32What's the idea of keeping me out of my own station?
00:13:34Come out of it.
00:13:39Oh.
00:13:41Oh, what a station.
00:13:43Look at that.
00:13:44A bit officious, ain't you?
00:13:45I don't want any of this from you.
00:13:46Who are you, anyway?
00:13:47Me? I'm Arbottle.
00:13:48Porter, shunter, signalman.
00:13:49Deputy stationmaster when there isn't a stationmaster,
00:13:51which is more often than not.
00:13:52Oh, well, there's one now, see?
00:13:54Where?
00:13:55Here. I'm the stationmaster.
00:13:57Where's your clock?
00:13:58What clock?
00:13:59Your presentation clock.
00:14:00How did you know I've got one?
00:14:02Ah, they all bring them.
00:14:03Bung it with the others.
00:14:04Oh.
00:14:05They look lovely when they're new, don't they?
00:14:08William Porter.
00:14:09Another William.
00:14:11That was William O'Shea.
00:14:12Poor Bill.
00:14:13Why, what happened to him?
00:14:14They put him away.
00:14:15That's him.
00:14:16Oh.
00:14:18Mick McGuire.
00:14:19Well, why did he leave?
00:14:20Nobody knows.
00:14:21He went out after dark.
00:14:22Where to?
00:14:23Don't know.
00:14:24Never saw him again.
00:14:25But we heard him.
00:14:26At least Albert did.
00:14:27Albert?
00:14:28Who's Albert?
00:14:29He functions for me when I'm not here.
00:14:30Oh.
00:14:31Well, that's good.
00:14:32Well, that's good.
00:14:33Well, that's good.
00:14:34He's not here.
00:14:35Oh.
00:14:36Well, which is his clock?
00:14:37He hasn't got a clock.
00:14:38He's still alive.
00:14:39Give me that back.
00:14:40Aren't you going to put it with the others?
00:14:41What, amongst them?
00:14:42There are a lot of tombstones.
00:14:46What's that?
00:14:47If it gives two owls, owls and a toot, it's Albert.
00:14:52Oh, he's not afraid of the dark anyway.
00:14:54Oh.
00:14:55He plays with the pixies.
00:14:56Oh, does he?
00:14:57Ah, well, all that's going to stop from now on.
00:15:05Ahem.
00:15:06Ahem.
00:15:07Ahem.
00:15:08Ahem.
00:15:09Ahem.
00:15:10Ahem.
00:15:11Here's your supper, JMR.
00:15:12Mine ready?
00:15:13Here.
00:15:14Ahem.
00:15:18Ahem.
00:15:19Ahem.
00:15:20Ahem.
00:15:21Ahem.
00:15:22What's he want?
00:15:23A new station master.
00:15:24Ahem.
00:15:25Ahem.
00:15:26Hm.
00:15:27Got a nasty cough, hasn't he?
00:15:28Hey, never mind about my cough.
00:15:30You show a little more respect for your superiors.
00:15:32And put that back where you got it from.
00:15:36And take your cap off.
00:15:37And you.
00:15:38What have you got there?
00:15:39My supper beer.
00:15:40Have some?
00:15:41Certainly not.
00:15:42This place is far too free and easy altogether.
00:15:44I don't hold with a man in my position hobnobbing with his staff.
00:15:47You keep your place and I'll keep mine.
00:15:49What is it?
00:15:50Bitter?
00:16:03Hey, move up or they'll want to come out.
00:16:16You'll have to wait.
00:16:17I've got to empty this cap.
00:16:18Ahem.
00:16:19Ahem.
00:16:20Ahem.
00:16:21Ahem.
00:16:22Ahem.
00:16:23Ahem.
00:16:24Ahem.
00:16:25Ahem.
00:16:26Ahem.
00:16:27Ahem.
00:16:28Ahem.
00:16:29Ahem.
00:16:30Ahem.
00:16:31Hey, who does she belong to?
00:16:33To her?
00:16:33Yes.
00:16:34She's ours.
00:16:35Oh, yes?
00:16:37I suppose that's her name, is it?
00:16:41Something burning somewhere?
00:16:42Must be Albert cooking the breakfast.
00:16:43Smells more like somebody cooking Albert.
00:16:57Ah, I think I'm going to like Buckler's Kelly.
00:16:59Yeah, in the daytime.
00:17:02Well, you've got a big cheese here.
00:17:03Yeah, this is where you sit.
00:17:09Where did this come from?
00:17:10Don't it say?
00:17:11No, it just says where it's going to.
00:17:14Here, see, what's the idea of this?
00:17:16You mean to tell me you're eating food that doesn't belong to you?
00:17:18Well, we've got to leave somehow.
00:17:19We haven't any place since we came to Ireland.
00:17:21Well, we can't starve, so we borrow things.
00:17:23Borrow?
00:17:24You mean you steal things from the railway?
00:17:26I wouldn't call it stealing.
00:17:28Call it stepping off the country.
00:17:30Danish?
00:17:31Not particular which country either, are you?
00:17:33That's all right, we pay for that.
00:17:35Oh, what did that cost you?
00:17:36A ticket to Belfast.
00:17:37A what?
00:17:38A ticket to Belfast.
00:17:39Yes, that's how we get everything.
00:17:40Good, ain't it?
00:17:42So that's it.
00:17:43You've been getting goods by giving away the company's tickets.
00:17:45Well, I've never heard of such a thing.
00:17:46It's absolutely dishonest.
00:17:47Shouldn't you understand you're in a position of trust here?
00:17:49Wasn't the company came along and started checking up on their tickets?
00:17:52Wasn't the way they'd gone to.
00:17:53You'd be in a fine mess, wouldn't you?
00:17:54That's right.
00:17:55Well, it isn't right.
00:17:56In future, you'll make sure those tickets come back.
00:17:57How?
00:17:58Well, give them return tickets.
00:18:02Nice piece of bacon, this.
00:18:03Danish, too?
00:18:04No, this is home-grown.
00:18:06Yeah, some sauce.
00:18:09Well, go on, son, leave your shop.
00:18:10It's taste time.
00:18:13Well, don't keep the customers waiting.
00:18:21It's Murphy, called for his pig.
00:18:23Well, give them to him.
00:18:24Can't, not now.
00:18:25What do you mean, not now?
00:18:26Well, he can have them any time he likes.
00:18:27Well, not all of them.
00:18:29Not all of them?
00:18:30Well, why not all of them?
00:18:33Where'd you get this bacon?
00:18:34That's right.
00:18:36Well, that's a nice state of appearance.
00:18:37He's not only stealing the company's goods and pawing their tickets,
00:18:39but he actually picks things from a customer.
00:18:41Well, who's going to tell him?
00:18:42You are.
00:18:43You're the station master.
00:18:44I'll do no such thing.
00:18:45That's not part of a station master's duties.
00:18:46A man comes here, leaves his pigs with the company.
00:18:48When he comes back, what does he find?
00:18:49Finds you beating them.
00:18:50Well, how was I to know?
00:18:53Well, somebody better tell him before he knocks that door down.
00:18:55I'll tell him.
00:18:56I can report this to the company.
00:18:57That's what is great.
00:18:58Sitting there like a couple of pigs eating.
00:19:00Well, you're a pair of cannibals.
00:19:01That's what you are.
00:19:12Good morning.
00:19:13Oh, so they...
00:19:14Yes.
00:19:15Well, what can I do for you, Mr...
00:19:16My name's Murphy and I want my pigs.
00:19:17Oh, have you got your voucher?
00:19:18Is this what you mean?
00:19:19Yes.
00:19:20Are you sure you left them at the station?
00:19:21Of course I'm sure.
00:19:22Come on now.
00:19:23Let's have them.
00:19:24Well, they've been here a long time, you know.
00:19:25Used to come sooner.
00:19:26See, we've had rather a cold spell.
00:19:28And pigs are only human after all.
00:19:30I couldn't come sooner.
00:19:31My wife's had queensies.
00:19:32What, like that woman in Canada?
00:19:33Have you got two pigs of mine here or hadn't you?
00:19:37Well, as a matter of fact, I...
00:19:39Oh, I will give you a moment.
00:19:43We've got some.
00:19:44What, here?
00:19:45Yes.
00:19:46And mine?
00:19:47Yes.
00:19:48Where are they?
00:19:49In there.
00:19:50I thought you said we'd eaten them.
00:19:51Oh, well, would you come and identify your property, Mr. Murphy?
00:19:54There you are.
00:20:03Hey, it's just two here.
00:20:04Who's the other one belong to?
00:20:05Him.
00:20:06There were six.
00:20:07Ah, yes.
00:20:10Well, Mr. Murphy, let me congratulate you.
00:20:11Your pigs have had a visit from the stock.
00:20:13Looks as if they had a visit from the butcher, too.
00:20:15Where's the rest of them?
00:20:16Eh?
00:20:17What about the litter?
00:20:18Oh, don't worry about that.
00:20:19We'll clear it up.
00:20:20I mean the litter of pigs.
00:20:21Oh, there it is.
00:20:23But you don't call one a litter, do you?
00:20:25Patsy Jane never furrows less than seven.
00:20:27Well, you can't expect her to keep it up all the time, can you?
00:20:30I wants me property.
00:20:31Well, take it.
00:20:32Two pigs.
00:20:33That's all it says here.
00:20:34I wants me litter, too.
00:20:35It is the law of nature.
00:20:36Ah, but it's not the law of the railway.
00:20:37What doesn't go in can't come out.
00:20:38I mean, what you can't...
00:20:39What you don't put in, you can't take out, can you?
00:20:41I mean, it's here where you leave yourself.
00:20:43There you are.
00:20:44The company should be liable in the aggregate for misdelivery,
00:20:46detention, negligence, more in the settlement...
00:20:49if it's left on the premises.
00:20:51There you are, left on the premises.
00:20:52You left two pigs.
00:20:53You can't get round that.
00:20:54Paying to pig staff.
00:20:55You've stolen me litter.
00:20:56I'd sue the company.
00:20:57I'm sorry, Mr. Murphy, but rules are rules, litter or no litter,
00:20:59and I'm acting strictly within the letter of the law.
00:21:01Yes, baby black-eyed, I'll settle with you.
00:21:03Well, in the meantime, you might just settle this bill,
00:21:05will you please?
00:21:06A bill? What for?
00:21:07Oh, a keep of two pigs for one month, 15 shillings.
00:21:09What?
00:21:10Well, I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:21:11I'll take the small pig in full settlement.
00:21:13So you not only steal me pigs,
00:21:15but you charge me 15 shillings for the privilege.
00:21:17That's a rule of the company.
00:21:18You can't break it.
00:21:19Oh, no?
00:21:20Well, here's where I break something belonging to the company.
00:21:24Hello?
00:21:25Has he gone?
00:21:26No.
00:21:27Oh, he's...
00:21:28This is the station.
00:21:29What can I do for you?
00:21:30What's that?
00:21:31A fire?
00:21:32Where?
00:21:33At the farm?
00:21:34Whose farm?
00:21:36No, good gracious.
00:21:37What are you talking about?
00:21:38What?
00:21:39The haystack's gone?
00:21:40And the barns?
00:21:41Whose barns?
00:21:42Oh, dear me.
00:21:43And the house.
00:21:44Whose house?
00:21:45Yours.
00:21:46House Mrs. Murphy and the Quincy's.
00:21:51Hey, what was all that about?
00:21:52Never you mind.
00:21:53Will you send those pigs back to Murphy's farm
00:21:54before they cause me more trouble?
00:21:56And if you see a stork flying about here, throw something at it.
00:22:02What's that?
00:22:03Oh, that'll be the express.
00:22:04What, a train?
00:22:05Good heavens, when is it due?
00:22:06Ten minutes, but it won't stop.
00:22:07What do you mean it won't stop?
00:22:08It will.
00:22:09I know it won't.
00:22:10It only stops at important stations.
00:22:11Yes, well, in future this is going to be an important station.
00:22:13It's going to stop today.
00:22:21Oh, dear.
00:22:22Well, I'll go and see.
00:22:23Hey, come on, don't sit there doing nothing.
00:22:24There's a train coming through.
00:22:25Go on, do something.
00:22:26Tidy up the place a bit.
00:22:27Come on.
00:22:28Hey, get those things off the line.
00:22:29It ain't a thing.
00:22:30It's a mallet.
00:22:32I would say they're washing off the line.
00:22:36Come on, it's not dry.
00:22:37Well, who cares?
00:22:38It's a station, not a laundry.
00:22:39I don't care.
00:22:40It's a mallet.
00:22:41I don't care.
00:22:42I don't care.
00:22:43I don't care.
00:22:44I don't care.
00:22:45I don't care.
00:22:46I don't care.
00:22:47I don't care.
00:22:48I don't care.
00:22:49DOORBELL RINGS
00:23:01Ah, see?
00:23:03You want to stop it? Stopping a train for no reason?
00:23:05Mind your own business. I'm stationmaster here.
00:23:07If I want a train to stop, it stops.
00:23:09Oh, the gate! Where's the wheel that opens that gate?
00:23:11Over there.
00:23:12DOORBELL RINGS
00:23:20Is the gate opening?
00:23:22No.
00:23:27Opening now?
00:23:28No.
00:23:29Well, it ought to. I've turned this wheel four times.
00:23:31That wheel don't work.
00:23:33What do you mean? Do you want me to break my back turning it?
00:23:35You have to open it by hand.
00:23:36Well, why do you say so?
00:23:41Albert, come on, let's do this padlock.
00:23:43Can't. We lost the key.
00:23:45Well, how do you open the gate?
00:23:46You have to lift it off the engine.
00:23:47Oh. Huh?
00:23:52DOORBELL RINGS
00:23:58Now, you go and open the other one.
00:24:01Oh, the signal!
00:24:12Here, here, here, here, here, here, here!
00:24:15Well, in fact, everything's lying at the place like this.
00:24:17What do you think it is, Kew Gardens?
00:24:19I've brought these up by hand.
00:24:21Yes, well, they're coming down by foot.
00:24:23Oh, no, they're not.
00:24:25DOORBELL RINGS
00:24:37Well, what did I get on at all?
00:24:39It's a distress signal, I think.
00:24:45Hello, Larry.
00:25:07What are you stopping my train for?
00:25:09Well, I'm the new stationmaster here.
00:25:10Well, what about it?
00:25:11Well, I thought I'd give you a chance to make you my acquaintance.
00:25:13What?
00:25:14Do you think I want my train held up every time some dirty little halt changes its staff?
00:25:18Dirty little halt?
00:25:19How do you know all that about my station?
00:25:21Station, do you call it?
00:25:22It's a noise or a dump, that's what it is.
00:25:24You don't think any decent train will stop here, do you?
00:25:26Oh, well, they're going to stop here.
00:25:27I'm not going to have my station ignored.
00:25:28Dirty little dump indeed.
00:25:30Take your train anyway.
00:25:31Take your hands off my train.
00:25:33Well, you take your feet off my platform.
00:25:34Now, listen, you're wasting me time.
00:25:35Go on, I will.
00:25:36Can't you move up a bit?
00:25:37No.
00:25:38Can't you move up a couple of yards?
00:25:40Oh, go away.
00:25:41Well, a couple of inches.
00:25:42Get away with you.
00:25:43What's the trouble here?
00:25:44What's all the noise about?
00:25:45Goodbye, friends.
00:25:49Yeah, they're nearly as dirty as when he took them off.
00:25:57Right away, Mike.
00:25:58Hey, wait a minute.
00:25:59Here.
00:26:00You can't tell him I don't wait like that.
00:26:01I'm the stationmaster here.
00:26:02All aboard for Valley Hooley, Valley Kelly, Valley Bubbions.
00:26:05Go ahead, Mike.
00:26:06Hey, stay where you are, Mike.
00:26:07You run along and play.
00:26:08When I'm ready.
00:26:09All aboard for Valley Buggles and all the other valley places.
00:26:12You don't even know where the train's going to.
00:26:13Oh, why should I?
00:26:14When it leaves here, I'll wash my hands of it.
00:26:16All right, Mike.
00:26:17Push off.
00:26:18He goes when I tell him.
00:26:19Go ahead, Mike.
00:26:20Besides, I don't want any impertinence from you.
00:26:22You big, sloppy-looking misfit.
00:26:24Why don't you get a proper hat?
00:26:26What do you mean, a proper hat?
00:26:29Right away, laddie.
00:26:30Your station smells like a backyard dustbin.
00:26:32It isn't even on the map.
00:26:33Why, you, you, you, you, you guard, you.
00:26:35Let me.
00:26:36All right.
00:26:37Would you mind you stopping?
00:26:38You come here next time and there'll be something in your mouth.
00:26:40Will you back?
00:26:45It's not on the map, is it?
00:26:47It's a source.
00:26:51Oh, well.
00:26:52Maybe it could do with a coat of paint.
00:26:55Hey, have you knocked those off?
00:26:56No, no.
00:26:57Made a mistake and got out to the wrong station.
00:26:59Oh, well, that's all right, then.
00:27:00Well, don't stand there.
00:27:01Go on.
00:27:02Show some feet.
00:27:07Oh.
00:27:24Halt!
00:27:25Huh?
00:27:26It's my pension.
00:27:27Another with the stationmaster.
00:27:28What are you doing to the station?
00:27:29Putting it on the map.
00:27:30Governor's idea.
00:27:31It's all right.
00:27:32No answer.
00:27:34Our bottle.
00:27:35Huh?
00:27:38That's not a way to spell it.
00:27:39There are two L's in Kelly.
00:27:40Can't do that.
00:27:4113 letters.
00:27:42Unlucky.
00:27:43Oh.
00:27:44Well, uh, go take one of the K's out.
00:27:46Nobody'll notice.
00:27:47Huh?
00:27:54You're wasting your time.
00:27:56What's that?
00:27:57You're wasting your time.
00:27:59Well, what do you think you're doing there?
00:28:01Just watching you wasting your time.
00:28:03All right, well, you waste your time and I'll waste mine.
00:28:06What are you burying?
00:28:07I'm not burying anything.
00:28:08I'm planting lobelia.
00:28:10You're wasting your time.
00:28:12Why?
00:28:13You won't be here when they come up.
00:28:16Hey, can't you get rid of him?
00:28:17Is he a relation of yours?
00:28:18No, but we both go out with the same girl.
00:28:20Oh, well, uh, let's ignore him.
00:28:26Here, you go and wait by the office
00:28:27in case my Belfast call comes through.
00:28:32You're wasting your time.
00:28:35All right, I'll buy it.
00:28:36What's the answer?
00:28:37There wasn't a breath of wind last night.
00:28:40Well, what's that got to do with me?
00:28:42Yet the sails of the windmill went round and round and round.
00:28:48Good day to you.
00:28:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:53Hey, what are you doing to that machine?
00:28:55Taking a bit of chocolate.
00:28:56Well, what's the idea of kicking it?
00:28:57What do you think the slot's for?
00:28:58To blow down it.
00:28:59The kicks don't work.
00:29:00To blow down it.
00:29:01The kicks don't work.
00:29:02Here, I'll tell you something.
00:29:03What?
00:29:04Telephone's ringing.
00:29:05Get out of here.
00:29:12Hello?
00:29:13Belfast speaking.
00:29:14You wanted us.
00:29:15Who is that?
00:29:16This is Buggles Kelly.
00:29:17Buggles?
00:29:18Buggles?
00:29:19Buggles?
00:29:20Buggles?
00:29:21This is Buggles Kelly.
00:29:22What's that you said?
00:29:23Buggles Kelly.
00:29:25B for basket.
00:29:26Eh?
00:29:27What?
00:29:28Who did?
00:29:29I did not.
00:29:30I said this is Buggles Kelly.
00:29:31That's the name of my station.
00:29:32Oh, it's you again.
00:29:33Well, what is it this time?
00:29:34All right, I'll put you through to Mr. Brock.
00:29:37Mr. Brock.
00:29:40Yes?
00:29:41Porter?
00:29:42Well, I'm not a railway porter.
00:29:44I'm Porter the stationmaster.
00:29:46No, not both, only one.
00:29:48I'm stationmaster Porter at Buggles on your railway.
00:29:51Well, what the devil do you want now?
00:29:53I've already sent you 200 posters and 50 gallons of paint.
00:29:55What have I got down there, a circus?
00:29:57Oh, you want to run an excursion.
00:30:00Where to?
00:30:01Well, I don't know yet,
00:30:02but there must be a lot of nice places in Ireland.
00:30:04I mean, there's Kilkenny, where the cats come from,
00:30:06and Connemara, where they have all the bombs.
00:30:08Then there's Limerick, the home of poetry.
00:30:11Limerick.
00:30:12You know, there was a young lady of Gloucester.
00:30:15How many tickets could you sell?
00:30:16What shall I say?
00:30:17Oh, sweetheart, double cluster.
00:30:20Oh, sweetheart, double...
00:30:21What are you talking about?
00:30:22The young lady from Gloucester, she said...
00:30:24Listen, I'll kick that one tooth of yours out
00:30:26and leave you stark naked, you old fool.
00:30:28No, not you, no, no.
00:30:29Listen, how many people can we get to go to Connemara?
00:30:31Well, there's the old party from the church.
00:30:33There's the church party.
00:30:34And the girl at the post office.
00:30:36And the post office staff.
00:30:37And my bird.
00:30:38And his bird.
00:30:39Listen, get out of here, get out.
00:30:43Well, I can't give you the exact number at the moment,
00:30:45but in rough figures, I should say quite a lot.
00:30:48Oh, I should think two carriages would be enough with what we've got.
00:30:51Oh, there's just one other little thing we shall want.
00:30:53An engine.
00:30:58Hey, what rolling stock have we got?
00:30:59Plenty of coal trucks.
00:31:00Well, you can't send people on an excursion in coal trucks.
00:31:02I mean, carriages.
00:31:03You can't send people on an excursion in carriages.
00:31:05Why not?
00:31:06Because we ain't got any.
00:31:07Oh, you go and play me a plaster scene.
00:31:08Hey, there's an old carriage over there,
00:31:10but I don't think it'll roll.
00:31:11I mean, everything on this station is either too old or it won't work.
00:31:14And you're both.
00:31:15Go on, roll a pair of you.
00:31:16Go on.
00:31:28Here you are.
00:31:33Well, all we've got to do is to get it up amongst those trucks.
00:31:35That's right.
00:31:36What's right?
00:31:37All we've got to do is to get it up amongst those trucks.
00:31:38Well, I just said that.
00:31:39I know, I heard you.
00:31:40Well, get your coats off and get to it.
00:31:41Come on.
00:31:44Come on.
00:31:52We should need Gladstone.
00:31:53What are you talking about?
00:31:54Well, you don't know who Gladstone is, do you?
00:31:56Well, you mean the man who made the bags?
00:31:57No, Gladstone's our engine.
00:31:58Well, why didn't you tell me we've got an engine?
00:32:00You never asked him.
00:32:01Oh, come on, leave me to it.
00:32:02Albert, you stay here and oil those wheels.
00:32:03I haven't got an oil can.
00:32:04Well, get one out of the crew.
00:32:11There she is.
00:32:13Isn't she a beauty?
00:32:18What is it, the rocket?
00:32:19That's Gladstone.
00:32:20Lovely lines, ain't she?
00:32:26Where does he go?
00:32:27How do you think he got here?
00:32:28I thought maybe that stalker brought him.
00:32:30Here, wait a minute.
00:32:31Let me go first.
00:32:32She knows me.
00:32:39What's all the decorations for?
00:32:40We leave the map at it.
00:32:41Blimey, you just heard of it.
00:32:43Well, where's the soft starter?
00:32:44Well, you can't start it until you get it on the boil.
00:32:46Well, come on, do something about it.
00:32:47Come on.
00:32:48All right.
00:32:50Oh, good morning.
00:32:51Got a match?
00:32:52Yes.
00:33:01Now I'll start it.
00:33:02You can't start it until that end points to 80.
00:33:04Well, how do you get it to 80?
00:33:05You stoke it.
00:33:06Well, where's the coal?
00:33:07In the scuttle.
00:33:08Oh.
00:33:09There's not enough coal in a boiling egg.
00:33:11Oh, that's all right.
00:33:12Here, here.
00:33:13You can't destroy these.
00:33:14They're company property.
00:33:15Destination boys.
00:33:16Look, Belfast, Tipperary, Dublin, Cheltenham.
00:33:20Oh, you can burn that one.
00:33:21Hey.
00:33:22Yes?
00:33:23I've oiled it, but I don't see how you're going to get the carriage out in the middle of those trucks.
00:33:26We're going to shunt it out.
00:33:27You know what the trouble is, don't you?
00:33:28No, what?
00:33:29Those trucks never would have been put there in the first place.
00:33:31Well, I know that, you old fool.
00:33:32The point is they've got to be shifted.
00:33:33Come on.
00:33:37Now, look here.
00:33:38Look, there's the carriage there.
00:33:39You see?
00:33:40Now, turn out your pocket helmet.
00:33:42Come on.
00:33:43That's right.
00:33:44Now, that'll be, uh, that'll be the line of trucks there.
00:33:47You see?
00:33:48This is the side in here, isn't it?
00:33:49No, that's the station.
00:33:50You're on the wrong side.
00:33:51Get over here.
00:33:52That's right.
00:33:55Now, now, see, where were we?
00:33:59Now, there's Gladstone.
00:34:00These are the trucks, and that's the carriage.
00:34:02Now, the problem is to get it out.
00:34:03Well, if we had a crane, we could lift it out.
00:34:05If we had a crane.
00:34:06With some dynamite, we could blow it out.
00:34:08And you shut up, too.
00:34:11Now, I'm Gladstone.
00:34:12No, I'm Gladstone.
00:34:14Well, we can't have two Gladstones.
00:34:15Here, you can be the row we're carrying.
00:34:17If I can't be Gladstone, I'm not going to play.
00:34:19That's the, uh...
00:34:22You've got me all mixed up now.
00:34:23All right, if you're so clever, you show us.
00:34:25Well, I say Gladstone's here.
00:34:26How can Gladstone be there?
00:34:27I'll tell you where Gladstone is.
00:34:28It's here.
00:34:29Whoa.
00:34:39Stop.
00:34:40Has it?
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:42Yeah, we've got to stop Gladstone, too.
00:34:43Come on.
00:34:45Come on, don't let it get away from you.
00:34:49Hurry up.
00:34:53Don't let it get away.
00:34:57Go on.
00:34:58Hurry up.
00:35:03Go on, stop her.
00:35:04How am I going to run on the road?
00:35:05Go on, stop her.
00:35:06How am I going to run on the street?
00:35:08Albert, get ahead of it and head it off.
00:35:10Go on.
00:35:11Gladstone, don't let it...
00:35:20Well, good morning, gentlemen.
00:35:21Just a little staff drill in case one of our engines ever got away.
00:35:25You'll be the new station master, I'm thinking.
00:35:27I am, and...
00:35:28We represent the tradesmen of Boogers Kelly,
00:35:30and we want some trains.
00:35:33Oh, trains.
00:35:34Oh, trains.
00:35:35Oh, yes, well, we've got plenty of them here.
00:35:37But a dimly one of them stops.
00:35:39What?
00:35:40You mean didn't stop.
00:35:41Why, we had a train stop here on, um, on Tuesday.
00:35:44Well, where do you want to go to?
00:35:46Just to the places mentioned on them tickets.
00:35:48What?
00:35:49All of them?
00:35:50No less.
00:35:51We've supplied goods to the value of them tickets,
00:35:52and you've either got to provide us with trains
00:35:54or give us our goods back.
00:35:56Oh, that's absolute nonsense.
00:35:57We don't go to our customers and demand our journeys back.
00:35:59All right, hold on there.
00:36:00We'll hear what your head office has to say.
00:36:02Good day to you.
00:36:03Oh, gentlemen, wait a minute.
00:36:04Wait a minute.
00:36:05Don't go.
00:36:06I didn't say I wouldn't do it.
00:36:07As a matter of fact, I'm making up a special now.
00:36:09I'm just waiting for the OK from Belfast.
00:36:11Oh, excuse me, my engine.
00:36:14Could you come back tonight?
00:36:15What?
00:36:16Here?
00:36:17At night?
00:36:18We will not.
00:36:19Oh, well, I'm very busy just now.
00:36:21Where could I see you?
00:36:22You know Barney's Bar?
00:36:23I know Barney's Ball.
00:36:24Oh, Barney's Bar, yes, of course, the local.
00:36:26Well, I can see you there.
00:36:27But just now, I've got some shunting to do,
00:36:29so if you don't mind, I'll shunt off.
00:36:31Ah!
00:36:35Ah!
00:36:38There's a signal, outside!
00:36:40Ah!
00:37:01Ah!
00:37:06Barney, how did that happen?
00:37:07Do you know where you sent those facts?
00:37:09Here, down there.
00:37:10You've done it.
00:37:17Well, we've got the carriage anyway.
00:37:18Yes, but if you want to keep it, you'd better get it off the main line.
00:37:20Why?
00:37:21It's expected to be here any minute.
00:37:22It...
00:37:23Well, what are you waiting for?
00:37:24Go on!
00:37:28Oh, go on, why didn't you start?
00:37:30Well, do something!
00:37:31Pull some levers!
00:37:42Now you've done it.
00:37:43You've gone and let all the steam out.
00:37:44Well, we'll have it.
00:37:45We can always make some more when we want it.
00:37:47Yes, but we want it now.
00:37:48The carriage is still on the main line.
00:37:53Well, don't stand there, get up and push.
00:38:00Here!
00:38:01Wait a minute!
00:38:02Wait a minute, I'm coming!
00:38:04Here!
00:38:06Here, wait a minute!
00:38:07Wait a minute!
00:38:08Here, here, what day is it?
00:38:09It's our last if we don't get this thing shifted.
00:38:11It's the 19th.
00:38:12Here, see what it says here?
00:38:13On April the 19th, summertime will start.
00:38:15Clocks should be adjusted accordingly.
00:38:17There you are, see, we've got enough time.
00:38:18Yes, that's quite correct.
00:38:20Hey, that's addressed to me.
00:38:21Yes, that's right.
00:38:22Well, what's the idea of opening my letters?
00:38:23Well, I couldn't have told you where it was from if I hadn't opened it.
00:38:25Well, if you do, you'll leave my letters alone, will you?
00:38:28To adjust the service to the new time,
00:38:29the 11 o'clock express on this day will run at 12 o'clock summertime.
00:38:33Well, what are we hurrying about?
00:38:34We've got two hours.
00:38:35How do you make out we've got two hours?
00:38:36Well, if we put the clocks back an hour and the train's an hour late,
00:38:38that's two hours, isn't it?
00:38:39You put the clocks forward and the train back.
00:38:41Well, what do we get then?
00:38:42You've got the express coming any minute.
00:38:43What are you talking about?
00:38:44Listen, if the train's an hour late, how can it be coming now?
00:38:46It's summertime.
00:38:47Summertime.
00:38:48The old fool's potty.
00:38:49Summertime or wintertime, if a train's late, it's late.
00:38:51Yes, that's right.
00:38:52Yes, but you put the clocks forward.
00:38:54Well, if the clocks go forward, then the train's already gone.
00:38:56No, no, no, no, you put the clocks back.
00:38:57Of course you do.
00:38:58You lengthen the day by taking an hour off the end and sticking it on the beginning.
00:39:00No, no, no, you take an hour off the beginning and stick it on the end.
00:39:03That's wintertime.
00:39:04Now, wintertime, you put them back.
00:39:05Well, that's what I said.
00:39:06No, you said you put it back for summertime.
00:39:07Yes, that's right.
00:39:08You don't.
00:39:09You put the clocks forward if you make the train early.
00:39:11Oh, would you believe it.
00:39:12Listen, I know what I'm talking about.
00:39:13You don't put the clocks forward, you put them back.
00:39:15You put the train back.
00:39:16I see.
00:39:17You put everything back.
00:39:18Yes.
00:39:19I'm sorry.
00:39:20Well, of course I'm sorry.
00:39:21The train won't be here for another two hours.
00:39:37That's awful.
00:39:38I said we should have put the clocks forward.
00:39:50Hey, what are you doing?
00:39:51A trick.
00:39:52Fill them up again and I'll show you another.
00:39:53I'll bet you would.
00:39:54Hey, what about the excursion?
00:39:55Sold the tickets?
00:39:56No.
00:39:57Well, get busy and sell some.
00:39:58Nobody wants to go to Connemara.
00:39:59That's because you haven't tried to sell them in the right way.
00:40:00All right, you have a go.
00:40:01Double one to get.
00:40:26It's been a nice day.
00:40:27How's that?
00:40:28It's one of those days when it would be nice to be at Connemara.
00:40:30It would be.
00:40:31Do you know Connemara?
00:40:32Indeed I do.
00:40:33Do you have an uncle there?
00:40:34Oh, have you?
00:40:35Have a drink, will you?
00:40:36Thanks.
00:40:37I'll have a point of four.
00:40:39Yes, grand old place, Connemara.
00:40:40It is that.
00:40:41Find someone in the river.
00:40:42Yes.
00:40:43Rouse on the moors.
00:40:44And deer in the hills.
00:40:45There's Miss Cheap in the town.
00:40:46Here.
00:40:47Oh, your health.
00:40:49Good health.
00:40:50So you have an uncle in Connemara?
00:40:51Well, I'm on an excursion there tomorrow.
00:40:52I would like to pay your uncle a surprise visit.
00:40:53I wouldn't surprise him.
00:40:54Why not?
00:40:55Sure, he's in the cemetery.
00:40:56You're wasting your time.
00:40:57You frozen face old...
00:40:58Oh, good evening, gentlemen.
00:40:59Now, what about it?
00:41:00Eh?
00:41:01Oh, yes, yes.
00:41:02Well, gentlemen, I've been going into the matter with these tickets of yours.
00:41:03And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:04And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:05And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:06And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:07And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:08And I'm going to have a look at them.
00:41:10We don't want a solution.
00:41:11Have you got our trains?
00:41:12Yes, well, in a way, perhaps not trains, but I've got a train.
00:41:13Well, gentlemen, I have arranged an excursion for you.
00:41:14And all you've got to do is to give me your old tickets
00:41:15And all you've got to do is to give me your old tickets
00:41:16and I'll give you these new ones in exchange.
00:41:17and I'll give you these new ones in exchange.
00:41:18An excursion, is it?
00:41:19An excursion, is it?
00:41:20And will it be after visiting
00:41:21And will it be after visiting
00:41:22all the places mentioned on our list?
00:41:23all the places mentioned on our list?
00:41:24Oh, well, I couldn't guarantee that.
00:41:25Oh, well, I couldn't guarantee that.
00:41:26You see, I've arranged the excursion
00:41:27I've got an excursion for you, and all you've got to do is to give me your old tickets and I'll give you these new ones in exchange.
00:41:31An excursion is it? And will it be after visiting all the places mentioned on our list?
00:41:35Oh, well, I couldn't guarantee that. You see, I've arranged the excursion to go to Connemara.
00:41:40Connemara? Where's that?
00:41:42What, Connemara? Well, it's, um, you go down the line and you take the first tunnel on the left.
00:41:48And how about my ticket to Tipperary?
00:41:50Oh, it's a long way to Tipperary. Now, the reason I'm sending you to Connemara...
00:41:53Let one mind about Connemara. It's Ballybunion I want to be at.
00:41:56Oh, perhaps I can arrange that later. Now, Connemara...
00:41:59Listen, if you come to my shop and ask for turnips, I give you turnips. I don't try to give you carrots.
00:42:03I'm asking for Tipperary, and it's Tipperary where I want to go.
00:42:07Oh, don't get excited. Don't get excited.
00:42:09I mean, if you set your heart on Tipperary, well, perhaps I can arrange to order the excursion.
00:42:13Well, that sounds reasonable.
00:42:15Reasonable indeed. And me with a ticket for Ballybunion?
00:42:18Well, I'm only trying to please.
00:42:20Kelly, did you not hear the gentleman say we were going to Tipperary?
00:42:23That's the blazes with your Tipperary and your Ballybunion. What am I going to do with my cork?
00:42:27We're going to Ballybunion. Ballybunion is the finest place in Ireland.
00:42:31What? You're not going to stand for that, are you?
00:42:33No, you're not. Ballybunion is the finest place in the world.
00:42:36And that's on your throat.
00:42:37Well, what are you going to say to that?
00:42:39Ballybunion. I'd sooner go to Connemara, and that's bad enough.
00:42:42What's that you're saying about me hometown, Connemara?
00:42:45You keep out of this and mind your own business.
00:42:47Well, he can't talk to you like that, can he?
00:42:49And neither can you.
00:42:53Look what he's done to your beer.
00:42:54Would you mind stepping this way for a minute?
00:42:56I'd be delighted.
00:42:58Go on. Flit on the tail of me coat.
00:43:00Aye, right.
00:43:01Knock that off.
00:43:02When I come from Dublin.
00:43:32Move!
00:43:42Come on.
00:43:43Hey!
00:43:50So you'll throw me out, eh?
00:44:02Hey!
00:44:10Sit down.
00:44:12Oh, I'm sorry, I can't...
00:44:13Sit down!
00:44:15I was about to send for you, Mr. Porter.
00:44:17Take a drink.
00:44:18Oh, well, as a matter of fact, I...
00:44:19Take a drink!
00:44:21He has long life to you, Mr. Stationmaster.
00:44:25Same to you, mister. I didn't catch your name.
00:44:28Call me Joe.
00:44:29Joe, yes.
00:44:32Which train you got running tomorrow?
00:44:33Oh, that? Oh, it's a little idea of my own.
00:44:35It's a special excursion. Non-stop saloon...
00:44:37Going east or west?
00:44:38It's going both ways. East going and west coming back.
00:44:40It's going to Connemara.
00:44:41Connemara? The very place.
00:44:43How many tickets have you sold?
00:44:44Oh, let me see now.
00:44:47Have you sold any?
00:44:48No.
00:44:49Right. I'll take the lot.
00:44:51What, the whole 200?
00:44:52Why, you must have a large family.
00:44:54Oh, no, it's a football team I'm taking.
00:44:57The Buggles Kelly Wednesday.
00:44:58The who?
00:44:59The Buggles Kelly Wednesday. We're playing a match.
00:45:01Oh, not a Tuesday.
00:45:02How funny.
00:45:03Well, what about the money?
00:45:04What?
00:45:05Oh, it's just a little formality, that's all.
00:45:07I'll pay you when I come back.
00:45:08Win or lose?
00:45:09Win or lose.
00:45:10And I want that train at six o'clock in the morning.
00:45:12Oh, no, that's impossible.
00:45:13My excursion's not running till ten.
00:45:15Very well, that's just too bad.
00:45:16The deal's off.
00:45:17Oh, don't say that.
00:45:18I'll see that it runs early for you.
00:45:20And how about the doings?
00:45:23That'll be all.
00:45:24And don't forget, six o'clock in the morning.
00:45:26Six o'clock, yes.
00:45:29Er, good night.
00:45:30Good luck to the, er, Tuesday, er, the Wednesday.
00:45:58Hey, come on, come on, what's all this?
00:46:09He's drunk and he's out.
00:46:11Oh, that's a nice thing.
00:46:12What'll he do with my station trolley?
00:46:14He always brings it.
00:46:15That's how he gets home.
00:46:16Albert pushes him.
00:46:17Oh, does he?
00:46:18Who's going to push him tonight?
00:46:19It looks like you are.
00:46:20Ha, ha.
00:46:21Oh.
00:46:23Oh.
00:46:24Oh.
00:46:25Oh.
00:46:38Hey, Albert.
00:46:39Albert, get up, get up.
00:46:41You've got to help me get this train away.
00:46:43Hey.
00:46:45Is it right what Pat tells me?
00:46:46You're starting the train now.
00:46:47Of course it's right.
00:46:48Go on, hurry up.
00:46:49The passengers will be here any minute.
00:46:52Get a move on.
00:46:53Get into your cab.
00:46:55Ah, good morning, gentlemen.
00:46:56Morning.
00:46:57Tickets, please.
00:46:58Morning.
00:46:59Tickets, please.
00:47:00Good morning.
00:47:01Tickets, please.
00:47:02Good morning, sir.
00:47:03Tickets, please.
00:47:04Morning.
00:47:05Morning.
00:47:06Ah, good morning, sir.
00:47:07Tickets, please.
00:47:09All aboard the fast non-stop special express dining car saloon train to Corrie Mower.
00:47:13All aboard.
00:47:14Tickets, please.
00:47:15Oh, I've got them.
00:47:16Er, hey, what's that?
00:47:17You can't take things like that on an excursion.
00:47:19Oh, those are the gold posts.
00:47:20We always take our own.
00:47:21Oh, I see.
00:47:22Oh, that's all right.
00:47:23Say, what's in that?
00:47:24Oh, those are lemons for half time.
00:47:26Oh, I see.
00:47:28Hey, you won't put that on the rack, will you?
00:47:30Already?
00:47:31Sure.
00:47:32Better go.
00:47:42Hey, you, come here.
00:47:44What are we waiting for?
00:47:46You know what to do, old lad.
00:47:47Oh, yes, very important.
00:47:48Still, if you're in a hurry, perhaps you wouldn't mind taking them and clipping them on the way.
00:48:00Hello, Blacken.
00:48:18This is Buckles Kelly reporting excursion away.
00:48:21What excursion?
00:48:22There's nothing on my schedule for four hours.
00:48:24I don't care about your schedule.
00:48:26Expect my excursion any minute.
00:48:32Hey, hey, come on.
00:48:33Get up.
00:48:34Get out of it.
00:48:35Come on.
00:48:36Get up.
00:48:37I think I'll get better this time.
00:48:39Get up.
00:48:40What do you think it is, a rest home?
00:48:42Hey, what's the idea?
00:48:43I'll show you what the idea is.
00:48:45Think I want to run this station by myself?
00:48:47Look at this block.
00:48:48Look at it.
00:48:49What a nice state of affairs.
00:48:50Sleeping till this hour.
00:48:51Come on, get up.
00:48:52Come on.
00:48:55Our day don't start till eight o'clock.
00:48:56Your day starts when mine starts.
00:48:58Your hours have got to conform to the prescribed by the regulation.
00:49:02You've got to get up and I'll tell you.
00:49:03Come on.
00:49:20Here, here.
00:49:21What are you doing?
00:49:22What are you doing?
00:49:23It looks like I'm doing everything around here.
00:49:24I think I'd better go and get that train off by myself.
00:49:25Huh?
00:49:26What train?
00:49:27Here.
00:49:28What train?
00:49:29Well, the train's just gone out.
00:49:30God, there ain't been no train out of here since last Tuesday.
00:49:32You should be saying I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:49:34Well, I'm saying it now.
00:49:35Yeah, I never heard no train go out.
00:49:36Or me.
00:49:37Well, you weren't in a fit condition to hear anything, either of you.
00:49:40I'll attend to that.
00:49:43Hello, station master Buckle Skelly speaking.
00:49:45What's this special train that you say has just left your place?
00:49:48It has not.
00:49:49It left here at six o'clock.
00:49:50I know.
00:49:51It was six because I looked at our clocks.
00:49:53Are you sure you haven't seen it?
00:49:54Oh, well, maybe it's had a puncture or something.
00:49:57What do you mean, am I sure it left?
00:49:59Of course I am.
00:50:00I saw it off myself.
00:50:01Don't you talk to me like that.
00:50:03You let me tell you that I...
00:50:04Hello?
00:50:05Hello?
00:50:06Oh.
00:50:07Hmm.
00:50:08Hmm.
00:50:09Yeah, it's funny.
00:50:10Bracken Junction says the train hasn't come through yet.
00:50:13Of course it hasn't.
00:50:14There never was any train.
00:50:15Hey, do you think I don't know a train when I see one?
00:50:17I see some funny things after a night at Barney's Bar.
00:50:19I suppose you didn't think you saw any passengers on this train, you think you saw?
00:50:22Of course I did.
00:50:23They were the whole of the Buckles Kelly Wednesday football team.
00:50:24They're going to play a cup tie.
00:50:25There's only one football team here, the Swiss.
00:50:27And they won't go without me.
00:50:29Why not?
00:50:30I'm their centre forward.
00:50:31Listen, will you do me a favour?
00:50:32Yeah.
00:50:33Well, tomorrow, just before the express comes, go to sleep on the rails.
00:50:35If it's one of your trains, it won't hurt him.
00:50:37So you still don't believe me?
00:50:38Well, listen.
00:50:39I clipped all the tickets and the clippings will be on the platform now.
00:50:41I'll go and get them to prove it to you.
00:50:48Hello?
00:50:49Look here.
00:50:50I've held the Doane Express for four minutes.
00:50:51Has that special train of yours come back, or what's happened to it?
00:50:57He's holding up the express.
00:50:58What shall I tell him?
00:50:59Tell him to let it through.
00:51:06He'll tell him.
00:51:09Hello, is that Bracken?
00:51:10Had the express through?
00:51:11Oh, the excursion isn't leaving till ten o'clock.
00:51:13Oh, the old man.
00:51:14Oh, he had a thick night.
00:51:16Been saying things.
00:51:17Yeah.
00:51:18Okay, suits us.
00:51:20He says you've got to report him.
00:51:22Poor old governor.
00:51:23Yeah, he's going like the others.
00:51:25There'll be another clock here soon.
00:51:26Yeah.
00:51:28We'd better humour him.
00:51:31The clippings are not there now.
00:51:32Of course they're not.
00:51:33What do you mean, of course they're not?
00:51:34They were there.
00:51:35Of course they were.
00:51:36Well, the wind must have blown them away.
00:51:37Of course it must.
00:51:38What's the matter with you two?
00:51:39Do you think I'm barmy?
00:51:40Of course we don't.
00:51:41Now understand this.
00:51:42I clipped those tickets, the train left at six o'clock, and I saw it off.
00:51:44And don't say of course you did.
00:51:45Then where is it now?
00:51:46Between here and Bracken.
00:51:47Well, soon now.
00:51:48Why?
00:51:49Well, go on, Albert, you tell him.
00:51:51Well, it's like this.
00:51:52If you had a train...
00:51:53And a rabbit went down it...
00:51:54And you weren't sure if the rabbit went down it or not, what would you do?
00:51:56Send for the plumber.
00:51:57What's this got to do with my train?
00:51:58Well, coming to that, you bung a ferret in.
00:52:00A what?
00:52:01A ferret.
00:52:02What, in my train?
00:52:03Yes, in the train.
00:52:04If it comes out the other end with blood on its nose, you know that...
00:52:06You know that somebody's punched it, and that's what's going to happen to you.
00:52:08No, you know that the rabbit's there.
00:52:09And if it comes out the other end with no blood on its nose...
00:52:11Well, then you know that the rabbit isn't there.
00:52:13I have the faintest idea of what you two are talking about.
00:52:15What rabbit is this?
00:52:16An allegorical rabbit.
00:52:17A what?
00:52:18Allegorical rabbit.
00:52:19I don't care if it's an Austen rabbit.
00:52:20What's it got to do with my train?
00:52:21Because your train's a rabbit.
00:52:22Well, where's the ferret?
00:52:23A down expression.
00:52:24It'll be here any minute.
00:52:25He let it through.
00:52:26What?
00:52:27You let the express through with my expression?
00:52:29Listen, my lad, if there's any blood on my train's nose...
00:52:33Get out of here.
00:52:34Don't look at me.
00:52:44Have you seen any blood?
00:52:45Cut it up.
00:53:05Now, you tell them.
00:53:06They don't believe me.
00:53:07Well, tell them about the football team.
00:53:08Did they or did they not leave here last night?
00:53:10What football team?
00:53:11Well, the one the man bought the tickets for.
00:53:12What man?
00:53:13The fellow I met in the back room.
00:53:14Well, that's my private room.
00:53:15But there's nobody in there.
00:53:16Nobody?
00:53:17Listen, what's the matter with everybody?
00:53:18Listen, you know very well that...
00:53:19No, I can see that you don't.
00:53:20Listen, actually, I went in there,
00:53:21and we fixed up about sending away the Buckles Kelly Wednesday.
00:53:23I suppose you could tell me next, there's no such team.
00:53:25Oh, you never heard of it.
00:53:26But they went away on my excursion to Connemara.
00:53:28Do you remember me trying to sell tickets for Connemara?
00:53:30I do not.
00:53:31Well, you can go on.
00:53:32You can go on.
00:53:33You can go on.
00:53:34You can go on.
00:53:35You can go on.
00:53:36Do you remember me trying to sell tickets for Connemara?
00:53:38I do not.
00:53:40Was anybody here last night?
00:53:43I can see you were.
00:53:44You must have seen me.
00:53:45I was busy with two other fellows.
00:53:49You'll admit there was a fight here.
00:53:50Well, there was a bit of an argument.
00:53:52Yeah, well, it was then I went in the back room and met this man.
00:53:54He got one eye.
00:53:55One eye?
00:53:56Yes.
00:53:57Did he say who he was?
00:53:58No, but he told me to call him Joe.
00:54:01Glory be.
00:54:02One-Eyed Joe the Miller.
00:54:03I don't know what his trade was,
00:54:04but that's the man who went with the party on the train this morning.
00:54:06The train?
00:54:07He's seen that too?
00:54:08Well, of course I have.
00:54:09I waved it out.
00:54:11Why, what's the matter?
00:54:12Seen the Miller?
00:54:13You're no company for the likes of us.
00:54:17Hey, what's the idea of all this?
00:54:19The mill wheel turns, though the night is still.
00:54:21He haunts the station.
00:54:23He haunts the hill and the land that lies between.
00:54:27Oh, he's a house agent, is he?
00:54:28Well, I want his name and address.
00:54:30He was took my train ten years ago.
00:54:32Yes, well, he was took with my train this morning,
00:54:34and I won the next of the nation.
00:54:35No, like a good man.
00:54:36Don't be talking about such things in this house.
00:54:38No, let sleeping ghosts lie.
00:54:40Listen, I'll stand for ghosts with their heads tucked under their arms.
00:54:42Well, he's had gold boats.
00:54:43All I know is somebody's bothered a train for me,
00:54:45and I'm going to find out what he's done with it.
00:54:46Come on.
00:54:47No, we're not coming.
00:54:48They're opening in half an hour.
00:54:49Oh.
00:54:50Help!
00:54:51I know.
00:54:52I'm wasting me time.
00:55:03Hello?
00:55:04What's the matter with your station?
00:55:05Doesn't anyone answer the phone?
00:55:06Well, I'm sorry.
00:55:07I've just been to the local.
00:55:08The local signal box.
00:55:09Where's this excursion?
00:55:10Why?
00:55:11Haven't you seen it?
00:55:12No, and nobody has.
00:55:13Oh.
00:55:14Well, that's funny, isn't it?
00:55:15There's nothing funny about it.
00:55:16Are you dead certain you sent it off?
00:55:18Well, are you dead certain you sent it to me?
00:55:20Of course I am.
00:55:21Well, then I'm dead certain I sent it off.
00:55:23Then where the blazes is it?
00:55:24I don't know.
00:55:25Who had it last?
00:55:26What are you babbling about, man?
00:55:28The train was sent to you, and it hasn't come back.
00:55:30Well, I can't understand it.
00:55:31Are you sure your driver knows the way?
00:55:33There hasn't been an accident, has there?
00:55:35Not according to my period.
00:55:36Hello?
00:55:38Just a moment, please.
00:55:39This is Bracken.
00:55:40Where is your train?
00:55:42Have you or have you not sent that excursion off?
00:55:44Yes.
00:55:45Well, where is it?
00:55:46Well, we've misled it for the moment.
00:55:47Excuse me.
00:55:48It went off at 6 o'clock.
00:55:50When?
00:55:51What?
00:55:52It was scheduled for 10 o'clock.
00:55:53Is that a different one to the 10 o'clock one?
00:55:55No.
00:55:56Are you contradicting me?
00:55:57No.
00:55:58Are you contradicting me?
00:55:59No, not you.
00:56:00You.
00:56:01Yes.
00:56:02No.
00:56:03What do you mean by changing those schedules?
00:56:04By treating my customers better.
00:56:06Customers?
00:56:07What customers?
00:56:08I'm not talking to you.
00:56:09Will you pull yourself together, man?
00:56:11I am together.
00:56:12Well, where is it?
00:56:13Get off the line.
00:56:15Ring off.
00:56:16Ring off?
00:56:17Do you know who you're talking to?
00:56:18Yes, I'm talking to him.
00:56:19I'm the poor sister blocker's head office.
00:56:21Oh, yes?
00:56:22Well, you're too late.
00:56:23I'm talking to the old fool now.
00:56:24What old fool?
00:56:25What are you gibbering about?
00:56:26I can't hold up the whole service.
00:56:28Can I stick my signals off?
00:56:30Yes, if it'll give you any pleasure.
00:56:31Let me tell you something else, too.
00:56:32I'm going to ring off.
00:56:33Oh, are you?
00:56:34Well, let me tell you something.
00:56:35You can pack up your things and go back to England.
00:56:37And if you're not out of that station by tonight...
00:56:39Tonight?
00:56:40Why, take me all day to pack.
00:56:41What's the hurry?
00:56:42You're fired.
00:56:43Fired?
00:56:44Yes, fired.
00:56:45Oh.
00:56:47Well, I've been thrown out of better stations than this.
00:56:57Hey, what are you packing for?
00:56:59I'm leaving.
00:57:00What, tonight?
00:57:01Have you told the head office?
00:57:02They told me.
00:57:03What's the matter?
00:57:07He's got the push.
00:57:08Poor old gal.
00:57:10Hey, you can't go like this.
00:57:12Have a bit of bacon.
00:57:13No, I wouldn't deprive you of it.
00:57:14God, it won't keep much longer.
00:57:15No, thanks.
00:57:16I thought you wouldn't stay with us very long.
00:57:18He never did like station masters.
00:57:20Who?
00:57:21One-eyed Joe the Miller.
00:57:23Listen, I've had enough of him.
00:57:25Remember, that's just a lot of rubbish.
00:57:27It ain't rubbish.
00:57:28Every night when the moon gives light, the Miller's ghost is seen.
00:57:31He walks the track with a sack on his back.
00:57:33And his ear all painted green, I know.
00:57:35He haunts the tunnel.
00:57:36He haunts the hill and the land that lies between.
00:57:38Ah, it's all me eye.
00:57:40Here, I'll give you this.
00:57:42Haunts the tunnel.
00:57:43There's no tunnel on our line.
00:57:44Oh, not on the new line.
00:57:45But on the old loop line, there's one.
00:57:47Loop line?
00:57:48Oh, where's the first time I heard of a loop line?
00:57:50He runs through Puka Hill.
00:57:51I can't use now.
00:57:52Through Puka Hill?
00:57:53Where's he lead you?
00:57:54Oh, across the border.
00:57:55Border?
00:57:56Loop line?
00:57:57Tunnel?
00:57:58I've got it.
00:57:59Go on.
00:58:00Where are we going?
00:58:01Find my train.
00:58:03I don't want any more arguments.
00:58:04We're going.
00:58:05I shouldn't.
00:58:06Besides, we might overwork Ladson.
00:58:07She was out yesterday, you know.
00:58:08I warned you.
00:58:09He taunted you.
00:58:10Ah, shut up.
00:58:11Come on, let's have a look at the map, Albert.
00:58:12Here.
00:58:13Hold that, Jerry.
00:58:14Now, there's Puka Hill.
00:58:15And there's the mill on the top.
00:58:16There's Buggles Kelly.
00:58:17And there's the line that runs to Bracken Junction.
00:58:18There's where the line crosses the border.
00:58:19And here's where the old line branches out here.
00:58:20That's right.
00:58:21And one-eyed Joe was killed right there.
00:58:25Hey, Banshee.
00:58:26Banshee, it's Ladson on the boil.
00:58:28Come on.
00:58:44Whoa.
00:58:45What's he say?
00:58:46He said, whoa.
00:58:47Oh, I thought he said Joe.
00:58:55Well, this is the branch line, all right.
00:58:57Now, where's the point lever?
00:59:02Be quiet.
00:59:03Shh.
00:59:04I've got it.
00:59:05Yeah, I got it first.
00:59:06Oh, look, look.
00:59:07Fresh oil.
00:59:08Hello.
00:59:09Now, take a look at that.
00:59:10What does that prove?
00:59:11There's been a cattle show.
00:59:12Cattle show?
00:59:13That's a football favor.
00:59:14Well, it shows we're on the right track anyway.
00:59:15Well, we'll see where it leads us.
00:59:16All right.
00:59:26Look, there's the tunnel.
00:59:30Oh, there's something across it.
00:59:31I told you they don't use it.
00:59:32He pulled it up.
00:59:33Oh.
00:59:34Well, slow down.
00:59:35You'll hit it.
00:59:36Slow down.
00:59:37Put your brakes on.
00:59:38Brake!
00:59:39Brake!
00:59:40Brake!
00:59:44Broke.
00:59:45I can't believe what you've done.
00:59:46Why didn't you stop them when I told you to?
00:59:47When I asked them.
00:59:48Well, you couldn't have yourself without acting, Vic.
00:59:51Look, there it is.
00:59:52My excursion.
00:59:53Now, who's potty?
01:00:05Well, I wonder where everybody is.
01:00:06Oh, perhaps they're playing football.
01:00:08Now, who plays football in the dark?
01:00:09Night school.
01:00:11Don't be silly.
01:00:12They haven't even unpacked the goalposts.
01:00:13Oh, and now we've found a train.
01:00:14Let's go back.
01:00:15Well, after they've messed with me about,
01:00:16pinching my train, leaving it lie about in a strange tunnel.
01:00:18Not me.
01:00:19Besides, they haven't even paid for the tickets.
01:00:21Hey.
01:00:27Look, my tickets.
01:00:28They haven't even clipped them.
01:00:29Some more over there.
01:00:36Blimey, they chucked them away.
01:00:38Oh, what a nerve.
01:00:42Hey, follow me.
01:00:43No, I'm not going in there.
01:00:44Oh, yes, you are.
01:00:45You're going to do as you're told.
01:00:46And you too.
01:00:47It's not my business to poke me nose in other people's tunnels.
01:00:49That's right.
01:00:50You mean to say you're going to let me go in there alone to face,
01:00:52or whatever it is to face?
01:00:53Yes.
01:00:54All right.
01:00:55Oh, get inside.
01:01:04It's all right.
01:01:05I'm behind you.
01:01:06Would you like to come in front?
01:01:07No, I can see fine from here.
01:01:10What was that?
01:01:11Voices.
01:01:12Must be somebody there.
01:01:13No.
01:01:14Yes.
01:01:16What's that growling?
01:01:17It's my stomach.
01:01:18Oh, keep it quiet.
01:01:22Hey.
01:01:27Guns.
01:01:28Funny mistake to a football match.
01:01:30They're not footballers.
01:01:31They're gun runners.
01:01:34Come on, boys, get that lot down.
01:01:35Oh, what's the hurry?
01:01:36No one's going to find us here.
01:01:37Oh, if we're not over the border before sunrise,
01:01:39we'll all be finding ourselves in the jail.
01:01:41Go on, get that lot down while I get the other one down from upstairs.
01:01:44Come on, Mickey.
01:01:45What's the matter with you?
01:01:46Can't you get that?
01:01:47Come on, hurry up.
01:01:48We're going to be here all night at work.
01:01:52Oh, this is a funny-looking place, isn't it?
01:01:54Crikey, we're in one-eyed Joe's cockeyed mill.
01:01:56Oh, dear.
01:01:57Hey, quick, behind us.
01:02:06We turn to the left.
01:02:07Don't be silly.
01:02:08If we go to the right, we'll be lost.
01:02:09It's the left.
01:02:10It's the left, isn't it?
01:02:11No, it's the left.
01:02:12Of course it's left.
01:02:15Listen, if we go to the left,
01:02:16we turn around and get to the other road.
01:02:18I see.
01:02:19Good evening.
01:02:20Get up.
01:02:23All of you.
01:02:26What are you doing here?
01:02:27Oh, uh, you dropped your tickets.
01:02:30Don't you start anything.
01:02:31There are three of us.
01:02:32No, two.
01:02:33One.
01:02:35Follow me.
01:02:38Come here.
01:02:41Come on, downstairs.
01:02:42And hurry.
01:02:53Let's barricade the door.
01:02:54Yeah, but then we can't get out.
01:02:55Oh, well, they can't get in.
01:02:56What?
01:02:57They're all coming up.
01:02:58I'll be left behind.
01:02:59You open it yourself.
01:03:03Where's Harper?
01:03:04She must be up there.
01:03:11They're not here.
01:03:12They must have gone out some other way.
01:03:13Let's get back to the train station.
01:03:15It's all right.
01:03:16They're going.
01:03:41Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter?
01:03:42I thought you'd gone.
01:03:43Yeah, the trouble with you is you think too much.
01:03:45Tie him up.
01:03:46Tie him up?
01:03:47You can't do that.
01:03:48I have a British subject.
01:03:49What are you going to do?
01:03:50You'll know soon enough.
01:03:51You can't do that, I said.
01:03:52Yeah?
01:03:53And who's going to stop us?
01:03:55Glory be, the ghost.
01:03:58The Phantom Miller.
01:04:01One-Eyed Joe.
01:04:02Well, well, well.
01:04:09That's no ghost.
01:04:11I've done.
01:04:32Come on.
01:05:02Daylight's here, Grogan.
01:05:03We're all right.
01:05:04They can't get away.
01:05:05We'll get them when we come back.
01:05:06Strip that boat.
01:05:18They've taken the ladder away.
01:05:19Now what are we going to do?
01:05:20We can't get down.
01:05:21We can tie a bit of rope to that hook and slide down.
01:05:23That hook wouldn't bear our weight.
01:05:24We'd have to tie it this tight to that beam.
01:05:26We can't get down.
01:05:27We can tie a bit of rope to that hook and slide down.
01:05:28That hook wouldn't bear our weight.
01:05:29We'd have to tie it this tight to that beam.
01:05:31That's no good.
01:05:32That goes round when the wind blows to wind us up again.
01:05:34Never mind.
01:05:35It's a good idea.
01:05:36We can try it.
01:05:37Go on, give us a rope.
01:05:38Oh, we haven't got a rope.
01:05:39Oh, what are we arguing about?
01:05:43What was that?
01:05:44I don't know.
01:05:52You touching something?
01:05:53No, I'm holding on.
01:05:54I mean, we're oscillating.
01:05:55I shall be sick in a minute.
01:05:57We haven't got enough trouble since the East Coast.
01:05:59Stick your fingers in your ears and count up to 100.
01:06:05Hey, what's this?
01:06:09Oh, look.
01:06:11Oh, the propeller.
01:06:13Now, all we've got to do is just pull on one of these sails
01:06:15and the brake will come on and drop off.
01:06:17Hey, it's going round.
01:06:18Well, something's holding it.
01:06:19Must be a brake somewhere.
01:06:21Ah, perhaps this is it.
01:06:23Oh, it's going round now.
01:06:29Have you stopped?
01:06:30Yes.
01:06:31Well, there you are.
01:06:32We've got it under perfect control.
01:06:33Come on, Harperton.
01:06:34Yes?
01:06:35What is it?
01:06:36We're going down on the windmill sail.
01:06:37Go on, you're first.
01:06:39What, right down there?
01:06:40No, no.
01:06:41Go along this horizontal sail.
01:06:42Which?
01:06:43Well, this one.
01:06:44Point at 3 o'clock.
01:06:45We'll lower you down.
01:06:46Then when you get to 6 o'clock, you can drop off.
01:06:47You understand?
01:06:48Yes, 6 o'clock.
01:06:49What time is it now?
01:06:50Now?
01:06:51What time is it now?
01:06:52Now, now, 6 o'clock at the bottom.
01:06:59Oh, dear.
01:07:00Oh, dear.
01:07:01Oh, dear.
01:07:02Come on, come on.
01:07:03You all right?
01:07:04Going along here?
01:07:05Yes, go on.
01:07:08Oh, it's a long way down.
01:07:09Never mind, you'll soon be there.
01:07:11Yes, that's what I'm afraid of.
01:07:13You all right?
01:07:15Oh, dear.
01:07:16Oh, dear.
01:07:17Just a minute.
01:07:18Oh, dear.
01:07:19Oh, dear.
01:07:22I'm back again.
01:07:25Hurry up.
01:07:31Are you nearly there?
01:07:32Nearly.
01:07:38I'm ready.
01:07:40She's ready.
01:07:47All right, you don't take more, do you?
01:07:49Stop the engine.
01:07:50Pull it.
01:07:51Oh!
01:07:54I'm gonna fall in the water.
01:08:09Oh, dear.
01:08:10The blood's running to me head.
01:08:20Oh, dear.
01:08:22Oh, dear.
01:08:24Oh, dear.
01:08:26Oh, dear.
01:08:27Oh, dear.
01:08:28Oh, dear.
01:08:29Oh, dear.
01:08:30Oh, dear.
01:08:31Oh, dear.
01:08:33Bendy.
01:08:34Eh?
01:08:35Bendy.
01:08:36Well, look at the weight on it.
01:08:38Can't you float a little?
01:08:40Go on.
01:08:44Think I ought to go to the end?
01:08:46Yes.
01:08:47Well, don't go past the end.
01:08:49All right, I'm ready.
01:08:59You all right down there?
01:09:13I'm up here.
01:09:14What are you doing up there?
01:09:17I'm twelve o'clock.
01:09:18Well, why don't you chime?
01:09:19You're spoiling everything.
01:09:20How am I going to get down?
01:09:21You'll have to climb out on the other wing.
01:09:22I can't.
01:09:23I can't let go of the steamer.
01:09:24Oh, yes, you can.
01:09:25I'm balancing him.
01:09:26You climb out on the other one and you'll bring him down.
01:09:27Oh, all right.
01:09:28Hold on.
01:09:29Hurry up.
01:09:30I'm cold up here.
01:09:31What?
01:09:32What do you mean, go on?
01:09:33I'm not up here.
01:09:35Hurry up.
01:09:39I am hurrying up.
01:09:46I can't hold on that longer.
01:09:59Hurry up!
01:10:26Can't nobody stop it?
01:10:30I can't hold on much longer!
01:10:40Well, I'm on the spot, come on!
01:10:42I can't! I can fall in the water!
01:10:47I can't stay up here all day, I'm going to beat him!
01:10:49Just stop, I'm coming!
01:10:51Why? When are you going to get off?
01:11:00I'm slipping!
01:11:02Oh, shut up!
01:11:04I'm going to be sick!
01:11:07I'm going! I'm going!
01:11:26All right, get down!
01:11:29I'm going!
01:11:52You did a good job of following the hay cart.
01:11:55You might have thought of taking the fork out, too.
01:11:57Here, look!
01:12:07Now let's get away!
01:12:08What, without my train?
01:12:09Not likely. We'll cut a glass into it.
01:12:17There's an engine on the other end.
01:12:19I'll attend to that.
01:12:22All right, Mike, on time. We're almost ready.
01:12:24Now you start when I tell you.
01:12:25You'll go on driving until I tell you to stop, you understand?
01:12:27You think you'll get away with this?
01:12:28I hope so, for your sake!
01:12:30Hurry up, jump to it!
01:12:32Get a move on, no funny business!
01:12:45Right away!
01:12:46Start it up!
01:12:53Here we go!
01:12:55Start it up!
01:12:56Start it up!
01:13:05Let's go!
01:13:06If we don't start it up, they'll do what?
01:13:08We'll get up on the carriage roof!
01:13:09Do what?
01:13:10Get up there! Don't argue!
01:13:12Take this with you!
01:13:13If any of them stick their heads out, it's slaughtered.
01:13:25We'll collect him on the way back, where none too soon has appeared.
01:13:28Hey, watch this. Bucko in the wrong way.
01:13:31What?
01:13:47Hey, look. Under miles an hour. I didn't think she could do it.
01:13:50It's the pressure gauge.
01:13:52I know. I was judging the speed by the telegraph pole.
01:13:59Don't touch anything.
01:14:00They're coming to Bucko's ferry in a minute.
01:14:01Never mind. Keep going.
01:14:02Please get us out.
01:14:03Certainly not. If we keep going, they can't get out.
01:14:08We're home. Bucko's ferry.
01:14:18Hey, put it in the pile. All safe and cold.
01:14:20No, no. Don't worry about it.
01:14:21Well, I got it in anyway.
01:14:25Here, here. Don't take it in the hole.
01:14:27We can run out if we go on like this.
01:14:29Oh, shut up.
01:14:30Put your hand out.
01:15:01You pay for this, Hans!
01:15:06Hand for the shovel!
01:15:20Go!
01:15:30Hey! Hey! Hey!
01:15:38What's the matter?
01:15:39You're making all the steam out!
01:15:40Who is?
01:15:41You are!
01:15:42No, it's not enough to boil!
01:15:44Well, then, do something then!
01:15:58Use your gun!
01:15:59I can't, it's jammed.
01:16:00Give me your rifle.
01:16:01We haven't any ammunition.
01:16:02Give it to me.
01:16:21I say!
01:16:22What is it?
01:16:23Don't look there! There's another train coming!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:27Go! Go!
01:16:39Oh, shit!
01:16:40We can't walk ever. This is the last bit of coal we've got left!
01:16:43Shit!
01:16:44Here, here, here! You can't burn that!
01:16:46No? Well, if we don't get any help soon, you're going in there!
01:16:49Well, that might as well go for the start.
01:16:51Well, how do we get there?
01:16:52Well, when they see we want help, they put a message in a bottle and chuck it overboard!
01:16:56Are you glad they found it?
01:16:58Oh, oh, come on, come on, don't waste time!
01:17:00Chuck it away!
01:17:01Here, here, that's my message!
01:17:03I'm as ill as you are!
01:17:05I'm going to run a couple of trains on the engine.
01:17:07How are you going to do it?
01:17:08Give us your hat!
01:17:09Now, you stick it out that side, while I get out of this.
01:17:26Where's the bottle?
01:17:28Right, give it to me!
01:17:33Oh, a tunnel!
01:17:44Give me the bottle, I'll blow it!
01:17:46No, not now, you fool, we're in the tunnel!
01:17:55That's the worst coal I've ever tasted!
01:17:57It's not coal, it's your pants!
01:18:03We're going to a station, I'm going to throw it!
01:18:11What the...
01:18:25Calling Belfast, urgent!
01:18:26Calling Belfast!
01:18:28Belfast standing by, go ahead, please.
01:18:32Station stand-by for alternate schedule.
01:18:35Stand-by for alternate schedule.
01:18:37Stand-by for alternate schedule.
01:18:40Side track 24, good.
01:18:41Side track 24, good, right.
01:18:44Pole 16 express.
01:18:46Pole 16 express, right.
01:18:50Diverter on the way to West Yard.
01:18:55East Yard, Working.
01:18:592 here, 2 South Street from West Yard.
01:19:19All course proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:21All course proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:23All course proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:24Alright.
01:19:25I'll get it.
01:19:26We'll get it.
01:19:27I'm going to get a bit of rain.
01:19:28A little rain.
01:19:29I'll get it.
01:19:30I'll get it.
01:19:31Stop.
01:19:32I'm going to get it.
01:19:33I'll get it.
01:19:34I'll get it.
01:19:35I'll get it.
01:19:36Alright.
01:19:37We'll get it.
01:19:38I'll get it.
01:19:39I'll get it.
01:19:40I'll get it.
01:19:41Oh, I think they've got a quick lead in.
01:19:42Ah, stop doubling it.
01:19:43They've doubled the lead in yet.
01:19:44Wait.
01:19:45Oh, look at this.
01:19:46Yes.
01:19:47I mean, they're well due.
01:19:48They've got the ball covered.
01:19:49Put the brakes on.
01:19:50Put the brakes on.
01:19:51I mean, they've got all the time.
01:19:52Well, Grogan, we've got your glass.
01:19:54Yeah?
01:19:55All right.
01:19:59Congratulations.
01:20:00Oh, thank you.
01:20:01Good bit of work.
01:20:03Splendid show, Porter.
01:20:04All in a day's work.
01:20:05I'll see that you get recognition in the proper quarters.
01:20:07Oh, don't thank me.
01:20:08Thank Gus.
01:20:09Grand old engine, that.
01:20:1090 years old.
01:20:11Yes, and good for another 90.