Haley embarrasses the Grumpy Old Troll at Best Buy, loudly accusing him of "fucking" her (as in fucking him over but saying things like, "Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms? Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna fuck me, Mr. Troll!") for offering to buy her the cheaper Nintendo Switch rather than the iPad, due to the cost of being very expensive. After she tries to get the police involved, in a rare moment of strictness, he refuses to buy her anything and takes her home instead by grounding her for her actions. Later, Haley appears on the Dr. Phil show to publicly accuse the Grumpy Old Troll of "fucking" her. The audience takes her side despite his protests that she is lying; and as a consolation gift, she is given Fu Dog's anus as Marie and Deadpool unveil it to the public.
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00:00Instead, I have a better idea.
00:06Third is in trouble now, see the sweat that's on his brow, our numbers are speeding.
00:10So that's what comeuppance looks like.
00:12Yeah, Gordon's probably run into this glitch a lot over the years.
00:16I've never run into this glitch in my entire life.
00:20Okay, let's hear it.
00:22Oh, I've got a better idea. Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms?
00:27Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna...
00:29I wanna be Rubble.
00:30No, I wanna be Rubble, and you...
00:33...me, Mom.
00:34Eric, you might as well go buy some cigarettes too, because I like to have a smoke after I get good and...
00:43...you wanna...
00:44That's the spirit! She's doomed.
00:47Mom!
00:48...me, Mom, just say so. Go ahead, here. Huh? Go ahead, Mom.
00:52...really, aren't they?
00:54She never learns. She's doomed.
00:57That's the spirit, Mrs. Fathering Girl. She's doomed.
01:01Let's check...
01:02...me right here in the best bag. You wanna...
01:04...'cause yellow is my favorite color.
01:06Remember, I love yellow, so I will be the sun.
01:11...your son's so bad, go on, Mom.
01:12We poked a hole in our tent. What are we gonna do now?
01:17We poked a hole.
01:19...me.
01:20What's that, compromise?
01:22...me.
01:23...me.
01:26That isn't gonna work.
01:27Don't cry, Eric. I told you, if you kept acting up, you weren't getting anything.
01:32But I told you I was sorry.
01:35You made me look like some sort of child molester in front of all those people.
01:39I wasn't trying to get you in trouble.
01:41Then why did you go outside to a police officer and say,
01:45help, help, my mom is trying to...
01:48Yum!
01:49...me.
01:50...me.
01:52Oh, wait, I get it now.
01:54The F word is a no-no word, and I shouldn't say it around other people.
01:58I'm sorry, Mama.
01:59If you're really sorry, then you'll understand why you aren't getting anything.
02:06Well, no, that doesn't really have any logical sense, Mommy,
02:09because I'm already being punished by not getting the iPad.
02:12Mama, please, can we just go back and get the Toshiba handibook?
02:17No!
02:18Well, then could we at least pull up here and get some dinner?
02:21Because I like to be wined and dined after I've been...
02:24Quiet, so don't make a peep!
02:26No!
02:28Today, on Dr. Phil, the tragic story of a little boy whose mother constantly tries to...
02:35Ah! Oh, no! I don't have any money!
02:39How will I ever pay for my ice cream?
02:43...him.
02:44I want you all to meet Eric Cartman, who's a very special boy with a very hard life.
02:49Eric, you say that your mom...
02:51And by me, I mean the Chief.
02:5332 bits.
02:57Not the sun!
03:00My sister Lola was not chosen to be the sun.
03:03So hard!
03:04Does this happen often? Does she...
03:07Only one sun in the school play.
03:09Yes.
03:10And that's me!
03:11And that's me, Charlie!
03:13F*** you a lot.
03:14Dude, Filipino hookers don't get...
03:16I'm sorry. So sorry. Please accept my apology.
03:20Little Bill, that is enough.
03:224 bits!
03:25Now, I know this is very difficult for you to talk about, but where was the last time your mother...
03:30Yeah! Gordon's probably run into this glitch a lot over the...
03:33I've...
03:341 bit!
03:35At Best Buy!
03:37Your mother...
03:38Alright, Mom, the bathrooms are really far away.
03:40I can manage.
03:41Do you at Best Buy?
03:42Uh-huh.
03:43And people saw her doing this?
03:45Yes!
03:46And they didn't do anything?
03:48No!
03:49Eric, stop it!
03:56Boo!
03:58Boo!
03:59Eric, you come home right now!
04:01Boo!
04:03Ma'am, why do you think it's okay to f***?
04:05Should I call it in?
04:06Nah.
04:07When you gotta go, you gotta go!
04:09Her son...
04:10I don't!
04:11She does! She does it all the time!
04:13She f***...
04:17On Christmas, she f***...
04:18Bravo! Bravo!
04:21On my birthday...
04:25You know, Mom, the least you can do is kiss me first, cause I like to be kissed before I get f***ed!
04:36You f***...
04:37Who's Connie?
04:38No, wait!
04:39What are we...
04:40Your son and you won't even give him a kiss?
04:42Boo!
04:43If I was gonna f***...
04:48My son, I'd kiss him first!
04:51Well, Eric, we have a very special gift we wanna give you.
04:54An iPad?