Reading My Secret Bully Story by Trudy Ludwig And Illustration By Abigail Marble Book

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I'm Reading a book Called My Secret Bully Story By Trudy Ludwig And Illustrated By Abigail Marble   Summary: A girl confides to her mother that her best friend is treating her badly, and together they figure out what to do about it.  Text Copyright {C} 2004 By Trudy Ludwig Illustrations copyright {C} 2004 By Abigail Marble all rights reserved, Published in the United States by Tricycle Press an imprint of Random House Children's Books, A division of Random House Inc., New York Tricycle Press and the Tricycle Press colophon are registered trademarks of Random House inc. Originally published in the United States by RiverWood Books, In Ashland Oregon, In 2004  and if you like this book please give it a like, comment down below what you think about this book and how ur feeling about this book and also rating as well what u give to this book and hit that subscribed button please leave positive comments and no negativity because there might be kids watching this tbh and bye love you all and God Bless You All.

Transcript

00:00Hi everyone welcome out to a book reading. Today's book that I'm going to

00:12read to y'all and it's called My Secret Bully story by Trudy Ludwig

00:23Literature by Abigail Marble. My Secret Bully expands our understanding of a

00:32bully from a boy in a schoolyard who steals your lunch money to the person

00:38who might be your best friend Rachel Simmons author of All Girls Out. Here's

00:46what it looks like here's the front here's the side and here's the back and

01:01I'll bring it up closer so y'all can see it

01:16okay since y'all can't see what the words said I'll read it to you in the

01:30back. Ludwig's story of bullying, hitting, and friendship is written with

01:36sensitivity and wisdom. CJ by retired English teacher, educational consultant

01:44and author of more bullies and more books. My Secret Bully captures the truth

01:51of bullying within friendship. I highly recommend this book for children and all

01:56who work with them. St. Davis author of Schools Where Everyone Belongs

02:02practical strategies for reducing bullying. This B-I-B-L-I-O-T-H-E-R-A-P-E-U-T-I-C

02:18offering tackle the difficult of bullying. Despair and installation are

02:24realistic portray and highlight. We often overlook aging between females. My

02:36Secret Bully deserves the highest praise. It is an important contribution to

02:41making the world a better place by teaching children and adults that we

02:46don't have to tolerate bullying behavior in any form. Ingrid Arneson youth service

02:53librarian. A desperately needed tool to help parents, teachers, and other

02:59professional address the growing empathetic of relational aggression

03:05emotional bullying. Teresa Markowitz PhD clinical psychology. That's what it says

03:15in the back. And this book should help with if you're having problems with

03:28bullying. An update from the author. I first become aware of the term relational

03:37aggression in 2002 when my daughter a second grader at the time became the

03:45target of some bullying friends. Rachel Simmons book I'd Girl Out and Dr. Nikki

03:53Creek's groundbreaking research about the way kids use relationship to

03:59manipulate and hurt others opened my eyes to a growing empathetic among

04:05children other nation schools. After spending countless hours searching

04:11online and in libraries, I found few children books that accurately address

04:17the topic. I decided to write My Secret Bully to help fill this resource gap.

04:24When the book was published in 2004, I was frankly amazed at how much attention

04:31it receives from the media, school experts, and organization around the

04:36country. Children and adults have told me time and again how deeply Monica's

04:42story resonates with them. I think the book Universal Appeal has to do with the

04:48fact that at some point in our lives we all had a secret bully. Someone who we

04:54thought was our friend but who sure didn't act like one. It's been six years

05:01since My Secret Bully was released and I along with fellow colleagues have

05:08noticed a marked increase in many schools effort to address and curb

05:13relational aggression but we still have a long way to go

05:18practically in the area of cyber bullying. Simply putting out fires won't

05:25stop an aggressive school climate. Reducing bullying requires a four-tier

05:32approach, education, prevention, intervention, and maintenance. Teaching

05:39kids to be kind, respectful, and conscious in some of the most important work we

05:50adults do. My Secret Bully, though by no means a cure-all for a child's bullying

05:58problems, can best be used as a sentimental tool to help you in your

06:04efforts to raise awareness and generate thoughtful discussion at home in a

06:09classroom about peer aggression. The additional resource that I list at the

06:15back of this book, i.e. Organization, Website, and Recommend Reading for Adults

06:20and Children, will also help you to learn more about bullying and establish a plan

06:25of action for creating a safer school climate. I want to thank the many

06:31children, parents, educators, and experts for your ongoing support of my work. You

06:40continue to inspire me to help make a difference in school lives one book at

06:46a time. Trudy Ludwig. Four word. Using relationship to bully and hurt other is

06:56by nature comfort. Secretive and difficult to detect, adults struggle to

07:03even be able to identify it, let alone deal with it while stories are emotionally

07:09bullying. Often referred to as relational aggression, are easy to miss as normal

07:18rite of passage. Research shows that relational aggression is every bit as

07:25harmful as physical aggression because bullying is evident during the preschool

07:31years and appears to peak in the middle school years. It's crucial for a

07:36community of caring individual parents, teachers, school counselors, and social

07:42peers to come together to address these problems sooner when the children are at

07:48a younger age. That's where My Secret Bully comes into play. My Secret Bully is

07:54a touching inspirational story that instantly draws the young readers into

08:00Monica's world, where she is emotionally bullied by a friend and eventually learn

08:06how to cope, survive, and thrive. With the help of the support of adults, Monica is

08:12given the tools to successfully create her own happily ever after. I encourage

08:17you to use these stories together with the helpful tips, discussion questions, and

08:23additional resource lists in the back of the book as a vehicle for helping others

08:29like Monica achieve their happily ever after with their self-esteem in touch.

08:34Suzanne Woolman, founder of the Aphelia Project. Okay, now let's get into the story.

08:41Katie is my secret bully. A lot of people would be surprised to know this because

08:49they think she's my friend, and she does act like my friend sometimes, but lately

08:57I'm not so sure. Katie and I have known each other since kindergarten. We spend a

09:13lot of time together because we like doing the same kind of things. Making

09:18perfume with flowers, picking from my yard, playing soccer in the rain, sharing

09:24secrets, and spying on our bossy know-it-all brothers. I love being around

09:29Katie when she's nice to me, but there are times when she's not. She can be just

09:35plain mean, and I don't know why.

09:47It all started a few months ago. During school recess, I noticed Katie whispering

09:53to a group of girls and looking at me. I went up to them and asked Katie what

09:58they were talking about. She said, oh nothing Monica, I'll tell you later. Then

10:06some of the other girls giggled like it really was something and that made me

10:11feel bad. The next day when I was playing with Sarah, Katie grabbed my arm and

10:17pulled me away. Katie stop it, I said. I was talking to Sarah. If you play with

10:23her, she whispered in my ear, I won't come over to your house tomorrow. Then she

10:29let go of my arm and skip away as if nothing happened, but something did

10:33happen and it didn't feel right to me. I wasn't sure what to do. I really wanted

10:39to get together with Katie, but I wanted to play with Sarah too, so I just ignored

10:44what Katie said thinking maybe she was having a bad day.

10:54I don't think Katie is a really nice girl anyway. A few days later, I saw Katie

11:02playing wall ball with Sarah. It looks like a lot of fun, so I asked if I could

11:08join them. Katie just stared at me and didn't say anything, not one word. Katie, I

11:14asked again, can I play wall ball with you and Sarah? We're in the middle of a

11:20special game right now, maybe later? I looked at Sarah hoping she would change

11:25Katie's mind, but she didn't say anything. Sarah just stared at her shoes and

11:31pretend I wasn't there, so I walked away feeling a tight knot growing in my

11:36belly. At night, I couldn't concentrate on my homework and my mom noticed. What's

11:52wrong, sweetie? she asked. I'm having trouble with Katie, I said. She seemed to

11:58be really mad at me and I don't know why. You've been friends for a long time,

12:03Monica, I'm sure you'll work it out, she said. I guess, but I really wasn't so sure.

12:10Why don't you give her a call and talk to her about it, mom suggested. So I did,

12:25but when I asked her if she was mad at me for some reason, Katie said, no I'm not

12:30mad at you, you are just so sensitive about stuff. Well, I have to do my

12:38homework now, see you later. Maybe she was right, maybe I was too sensitive. I'd rather

12:46be sensitive than being a bully. Things didn't get any better. After a while, in

13:01fact, they got worse, much worse. It got to the point where no one would play with

13:06me at recess. I was all by myself and there was Katie hanging out with my

13:11other friends, laughing and being all sweet and nice to everyone but me. Maybe there was

13:18something wrong with me. To be honest, I don't think there's nothing wrong with

13:22you. They're just jealous, that's all I can say, they're just jealous of you. They

13:29they're just jealous because you've got something in you that they don't like. So

13:41once again, it ain't you, it's them. They're just jealous. Last month, for the

13:47third time in a row, I told my mom that I had a bad stomach ache and didn't feel

13:53good enough to go to school. You've been complaining of stomach aches a lot

13:58lately, she said. Is something going on at school that's giving you this upset

14:02stomach, Monica? When I saw the look of love and worry in my mom's eyes, I knew

14:09I couldn't keep my secret boy a secret any longer. At first, I just started to

14:15cry and couldn't stop. Mom hugged me a lot and waited patiently for me to talk

14:21and I did. I told her how hard it is to be friends with Katie, she's nice to me.

14:27When we're playing alone, that really means to me when we're about other

14:32people. I even think she's been saying bad things about me to my friends so

14:37they won't like me, I explain.

14:48It's always good to have one or more supporters to be on your side instead of

14:57just one bully that's been hating on you, been picking on you, trying to get you

15:03off of YouTube and other stuff that this person is trying to do to you. All I

15:09can say, you're just jealous because I got things I got and you don't. You're

15:14just jealous. So Monica, I know how you feel. I've been bullied for say three

15:21years and two months and a lot longer than that because I remember I've been

15:26picked on in school and it ain't fine because I remember I was at

15:33recess and this kid turned around named Cory, he turned around, he said, Jamie got

15:41cooties and all I did was pick something black on the ground. I'm not sure if it

15:48was a rock or whatever and then all of a sudden, here comes all these people

15:55running toward the recess and wouldn't even allow me even to play tag with

16:02them because they think I got cooties which is that is so dumb and so stupid

16:08and I don't think that should even have been happening.

16:13Cory should have minded his own business and should have kept on walking

16:17then I would never in a million years would ever get picked on during that

16:21time. So Monica, I know how you feel. I'm right there with you. In school years, I

16:29haven't been having a bad time in school sometimes when a lot of

16:35people are making fun of me and picking on me but there are some people out

16:40there that are great supporters and I used to be friends with but take a

16:46look at me right now. I am stronger. I don't feel no scariness anymore. I used

16:56to be afraid but ever since I made that video, I feel more calmer than ever. I

17:02don't know if y'all ever noticed that I feel like I've been more cooler and more

17:09calmer and not scared anymore. Anyway, so I know how you feel Monica. I know how

17:18you feel. I told my mom everything and she listened to what I had to say. I mean

17:24she really listened to me. Mom didn't blame me or ask me to be nicer to Katie

17:29and she didn't say that's just the way girls are so you better get used to it

17:34like my babysitter did when I tried to talk to her about it. I felt a lot better

17:39after I talked with my mom. Mom says there are some problems in life that

17:45aren't easily solved and this is one of them but it helps to know that I'm not

17:50alone. I found out that a lot of other kids have had this happen to them. Even

17:56my mom when she was a kid but that doesn't make it right and that doesn't

18:01mean this is the way it has to be. Mom and I talked about what I could do to

18:07stand up for myself. We even did what mom called role-playing where she acted

18:12like she was Katie and I got to practice out loud what I wanted to say to her

18:17without sounding like a bully myself. And you also gotta think mom is a great way

18:24to protect your children and will always give you a motherly advice how

18:33to handle things differently than how it is now. So mom is really good and same

18:42thing with us too but mom will always give you a good a good advice even even

18:49if you're 31 or if you're one year old you will always be her baby. Doesn't

18:58matter how much you've grown she will you will always be her baby and she will

19:05always be there for you no matter what. But I know there's some mothers out

19:12there that really truly honestly really care about her baby and will always be

19:21there for them no matter what. So the next day I was ready I walked right up

19:35to Katie during morning recess waiting for her to do her words. She looked at me

19:40and started whispering to her circle of friends. I stared at her straight in the

19:45eye and said, Katie does it make you feel good to make me feel bad because friends

19:53don't do that to friends. She turned red in the face and looked away. Right then I

20:00knew Katie could no longer hurt me. I don't see Katie anymore I feel sad about

20:15that but now I know that real friends don't treat each other the way she

20:21treated me. Real friends respect your feelings and work things out with you

20:27when you have problems. Real friends like you just the way you are. Will I ever be

20:34friends with Katie again? I don't think so I just want to be around people who

20:39really like me for me. I'm feeling much better about myself these days. I made a

20:45new friend at school and on my gymnastic team and I don't get stomach aches like I

20:51did before. Having a secret bully was eating up my inside mm-hmm but now that

20:58the secret's out I don't feel bad anymore. It's nice to know that whatever I do I'm

21:04going to be just fine. That's the spirit Monica that is the spirit. It's always

21:14good to let out your feelings. If it's been eating for you for so long and

21:21it's starting to give you a stomach ache it's always good to talk about your

21:25feelings. Let it out and then sooner or later it just feels like 10,000 chains

21:34lifted off your shoulders. So it's always good it's always good to know that you

21:44will be just fine for now and forever and good luck. But people always says

21:52there are many fishes in the sea that you can find the right ones that will

22:00always be there for you, will always support you, and that will always treat

22:05you right. Not treat you like you're just garbage and always great to be you. It's

22:17always great to be you.

22:25Making a difference a note to parents and teachers. Relational aggression refers

22:33to as emotional bullying hidden among tightly knit network of friends. Instead

22:40of using knives and fists as physical display of aggression, kids who mostly

22:45bully others employ relationships, words, and gestures as their preferred weapons

22:51of attack. A child's reasons for bullying are as diverse as they are plenty. Desire

22:58for social connection, recognition, and power are key elements to use to

23:04aggressor advantage. The profile of the target run the gamut from those who are

23:11noticeably different in some way from their tormentors. Each race, physical

23:17appearance, and personality. Two others who outwardly appear to have much in

23:23common with the friends who are bullying them. In some cases there is no apparent

23:27reason why a peculiar target is chosen. It may simply be a matter of random

23:33selection based on the bullying child's sudden needs to pick on whoever happens

23:38to be in his or her line of vision. Common example of emotional bullying

23:45includes, but are not limited to, silent treatment, rumors, intimidation,

23:51humiliation, exclusion, teasing, and manipulation. These type of behaviors can

23:57be devastating, resulting in serious injury to the target's self-esteem and

24:03feelings of social insensitivity, headache, depression, anxiety, and school

24:10avoidance are often telltale systems of bully children. Unfortunately, many

24:17children, both boys and more previously girls, experience relational aggression

24:23at one time or another in their lives. But as Monica in this story comes to find out

24:28that doesn't make it right and that doesn't mean this is the way it has to

24:32be. What can we do as responsible caring adults to break this vicious cycle of

24:39relational aggression? The first step is to bring the secret emotional bullying

24:44out into the open so that target don't feel alone. With no avenue of escape,

24:50that's what I've been doing. The second step is to fold. Provide target with

24:56coping tools referred to the session, what can a target do? And prevent further

25:02acts of aggression by taking the appropriate measure to squash all form

25:07of and cover bullying holding aggressor accountable for their behavior. As well

25:15as recognizing the roles and responsible target bystander, parents,

25:20teachers, administrators, and the community are key to the success of any

25:25anti-bullying program. Okay, what can a target do? A nervous anti-bullying expert

25:38recommend the following helpful suggestions. Note that it is not your

25:42fault. Know that you don't deserve it. Tell the kid who is bullying to stop

25:50only if you feel safe doing so. If possible, remove yourself from the

25:56situation. Report bullying to an adult you trust. Hang out with people who let

26:03you be you. Use harmless humor to defeat bullying. Don't respond to bullying by

26:11bullying back. An opportunity for discussion. After reading my secret bully,

26:18please use the following question to generate further discussion with your

26:22child or student. How was Katie being mean to Monica? What did she say? What did

26:28she do? What could Sarah have done to help Monica when Katie was bullying for?

26:33How did Monica stop the bullying? What else do you think Monica could have done

26:39or said? What would it take from Katie and Monica to become friends again? Do

26:45you think Katie was also being mean to other kids at school? How are kids mean

26:50to each other in your school? Why are kids mean to each other? Do boys typically

26:58bully others in the same way as girls? Have you ever been bullied? Uh-huh. How

27:05does it feel to be bullied if you're kind of worse and feel like you don't

27:12deserve it? What would you do if you saw a friend being bullied by another friend?

27:17I would go up to that person. I would tell them, you leave them alone.

27:22The End. Thank you all for coming out to this book called My Secret Bully. I hope

27:35that y'all like it and if y'all did please give it a thumbs up, comment down

27:42below what y'all think. Please leave positive comments and no negativity in

27:49the comment section and please if you are going through something let me know

27:57and I hope that this book helps you. If you are being bullied I hope that this

28:06book give you some ideas and some advice to help to stop bullying. Okay, I love

28:19y'all. God bless y'all. Be safe out there and have a great beautiful day. I love

28:27you all and God bless y'all and bye.

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