5 Sex Mistakes That Men & Women Make (LIVE Demonstration)
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00:00Good day, gentlemen. In today's video, myself and the wonderful Maria will be demonstrating some of the common mistakes that both men and women make in the bedroom.
00:08So I'll be showing you five common mistakes men make sexually.
00:11And five mistakes ladies make in the bedroom.
00:14That's right.
00:16Ah!
00:28So, the first common mistake that men make is completely penetrating, basically immediately, without any warm up or foreplay.
00:37Why is that a problem?
00:38Because there is no anticipation, probably I'm not warm enough, and like, I feel like you should diss me more first.
00:45Right. So we can build expectation and arousal with a woman by taking our time on that first penetration.
00:52So think of your cock like a joystick, right, or a paintbrush.
00:56So we can take the head of it, no matter what your size is, and start to paint, dividing between the lips, doing circular strokes, putting it around the entrance to the vagina, which has a huge amount of receptor cells for pleasure, right, for stimulation.
01:13And often those are ignored. The men just go straight in towards the back of the vagina.
01:18So take your time, put just the head of your cock in.
01:21You can even like do little circles or up and down stretches because when we actually stretch side to side or up and down within the vagina, this creates engorgement.
01:31This is where lots of blood flow comes to the area and the nerves are stimulated so that it means that by the time you're starting to penetrate, it'll be as if she's sucking you in.
01:42So she might actually push back on you or you'll find that she's just more engorged, wetter obviously, and you can take your time.
01:49So that first penetration, like that first stroke, let's say, take up to a minute.
01:54Even if you're kind of in like rough play, right, and it's kind of dominant and aggressive, we can still build this anticipation, this sexual tension, this excruciating need for her now to be penetrated,
02:06taking my time so that by the time that I go completely in, she's engorged, her body has shifted to the shape of my body, and now she's ready to fuck.
02:16Mistake number one for women is when they are twerking too much or moving too much when the man is trying to take control.
02:22So the problem here is if the man is trying to get a rhythmic stroke going and then the woman is jiggling around and moving, even though she may have awesome twerking skills,
02:32the problem is that our rhythms are not synchronized here, right?
02:36Now, if we're, let's say, really skilled or we know each other really well, then okay, we can get a rhythm where both of us are moving at the same time.
02:44But in general, you want one person stable and one person moving.
02:47So it's either I don't move and now she bounces and twerks, which enjoy that, right?
02:53So I'm holding a line basically, or I hold her hips and maybe I need to say, don't move, don't twerk, even though it's fucking sexy, and then I take control like this.
03:02Okay, so it's basically got to be one person active, one person stable, or you know, if we're extremely in synchronization with each other, then yes, we can get this kind of movement.
03:13But in general, one's held or the other is taking over.
03:17Mistake number two for dudes is related to their stroke control.
03:21Now, most men only have one type of stroke, which surprise, surprise is this pumping, right?
03:27Slow, maybe, or fast.
03:29Uh, and this is typically what you see happening in almost all pornography where the man is just jackhammering away indefinitely.
03:36Now, it's not that you would never pump or pound.
03:39It is certainly a thing, but if that is your only stroke, it can also have the effect of desensitizing both you and the woman because you're only making contact
03:50with small areas of the body, which can lead to the man losing his erection over time or both of you basically getting bored with the sex act.
03:58So instead of only pumping, we want to be aware that if we lock our pelvises together and then start to get these rotations or undulations through the pelvis,
04:09this will create a completely different style of stroke, right?
04:13As opposed to just in and out, in and out of the pumping, pounding variety, we have all of this extra undulation,
04:21which means that your cock starts to paint internally inside the woman, right?
04:27So I can hold her hips in and then get still very deep penetration and undulations.
04:33And it doesn't necessarily mean that that's always going to be slow lovemaking, right?
04:38So absolutely it can be from this kind of intimate space.
04:42We can have these rockings and undulations either holding her steady, right?
04:47So then I can push in deeply or we're both rolling our hips together for this intimate synchronized kinds of strokes.
04:56Or if I accelerate by tilting and squeezing my glutes, then I can still get hard fucking, let's say,
05:04but it's going to have this effect internally, right?
05:07As opposed to just the stabbing, which as Maria mentioned earlier,
05:11if we're hitting the end or the back of the cervix over and over again, it can bruise it.
05:16It feels really uncomfortable.
05:17Although the cervix really enjoys having these kinds of circular motions or rubbing motions,
05:24which is what this type of stroke is going to do.
05:27So remember this gentleman, not just pumping and pounding, but differing your strokes as well.
05:32Mistake number two for women is being an unresponsive starfish in bed.
05:40If you want to get the best out of your man and create more intimacy and passion,
05:45make sure to touch him sensually and make him feel wanted.
05:55A very big mistake that many men make, and this is almost unrecoverable if you do it,
05:59it's really going to ruin the sexual experience,
06:01is the way that you distribute your body weight over the woman's body, right?
06:05So the problem comes if I'm plonking myself down and then leaning my body weight into her uncomfortably,
06:12and that can happen in many different ways.
06:14So for example, you know, here with my forearms squeezing into her inner arm and elbow,
06:21if there's hair there and I lean my elbow into the hair and so it's pulling and tugging uncomfortably,
06:28it doesn't really matter what other amazing stroke control or dirty talk or tantric breathing I'm doing,
06:33she won't be able to concentrate on that if her hair is being pulled.
06:36So especially with a lady like this who has lots of big voluminous hair,
06:40there I lean down into this, not right.
06:43So I'm aware that if I need to move the hair out of the way whilst placing my body weight down that I do.
06:50And then I'm aware that I'm lowering my body weight in an even manner.
06:55Problems occur when, for example, I lean my pelvis in over on one side,
07:00I've got a bony hip bone and I stab it into her inner thigh, not comfortable.
07:05So I want to be aware of that I'm squaring my hips up,
07:08even if I'm, let's say I'm leaning over onto the left side now so that my right hand is free to caress and touch
07:14and, you know, put my finger in her mouth or whatever it is I'm doing.
07:17Cool. But now I'm aware that the body weight is leaning down into my left hip.
07:22So I want to rotate my hip to square it up so that the hip is straight,
07:26even though my upper body is a little bit twisted because I want to be able to touch it.
07:30All right. And then as I'm shifting body weight from side to side or into different positions,
07:35I'm aware that, you know, going from here that I don't drop my weight into my pelvis
07:39and then roll across over her stomach because that's going to feel uncomfortable.
07:43Instead, I'm aware that, okay, here I'm retracting my pelvis a little bit,
07:48bringing the body weight back to center, then drop the weight back down in the pelvis like this.
07:54And in this way, then I can transition between, you know,
07:58whatever positions I'm maneuvering her through whilst being aware of where I'm going to lay my body weight.
08:05All right. So now I'm coming down into spooning. Same problem here.
08:08I can pull on the hair, you know, I can drop my weight too heavily down with my chest.
08:12So instead, I'm aware that I take weight here in the forearm,
08:16shifting over so that there was a smooth transfer of weight in this situation.
08:22Or if I'm going back the same kind of way, I'm holding my body up like this.
08:36Hands go down as I lower down in.
08:39Now, sometimes it's nice to compress the woman, but that's different from a squash.
08:44All right. So if I lie relatively flat, so there's no particular area that's stabbing in,
08:50and then I literally lower my body weight like I'm doing a slow push up until she feels a compression,
08:58which feels like what?
09:00Cuddly.
09:01Cuddly and cozy and nice, intimate, as opposed to this, sorry.
09:06Squashing her and, you know, and then sweating on her face.
09:10So be extremely conscious of this, your body mechanics.
09:13You know, if I'm from the beginning, as I'm laying down on her, opening her legs up,
09:19putting my positions, choosing them, shifting in.
09:23Okay. And then I come to penetrate and then lower myself down.
09:27That's awesome because then we get this slow first stroke.
09:31She gets that sense of me sinking into her as opposed to, you know, what a lot of men do,
09:36which is awkward, like hands getting locked in up in here. Not good.
09:47And the other thing to be aware of on this is how do I maneuver her body?
09:51So let's say her hands are in the space where I want to go.
09:55So I can maneuver and adjust her hands or put them around me or whatever I want to do
10:00to create the space, moving hair out of the way, sliding down, shifting into square on position
10:07and then sinking into her body like that.
10:10That's a really sexy first entry, right?
10:14Which certainly sets the tone for a very saucy and intimate sex.
10:19Mistake number three for women would be the way they angle their hips during sex.
10:23For example, in doggy position, if I roll my hips forward, it won't be good.
10:29As Maria was saying, if her hips are tilted forwards, this means that I can't really get penetration properly.
10:36And also it doesn't look very sexy with this turtle back.
10:39So this can happen for a couple of reasons.
10:42One, that the woman is just really stiff in the hips,
10:44in which case she's going to need to practice stretching and squatting and doing the splits.
10:49Or she's trying to protect herself from too deep penetration, right?
10:53So if you notice that the woman's tilted her hips forward,
10:56especially if you're doing that like hard pumping,
10:58often what she's doing is creating a guard, right?
11:01Where she's trying to limit the depth of penetration that I have.
11:04So what I'll do is I will adjust her pelvis.
11:08I'll take her by the hip bone, put my hand over the top of her sacrum and then say, lift your ass up.
11:14All right, so that cue of feeling the guide at the same time as giving her a clear instruction
11:21will generally be the thing that fixes it.
11:23You may find then that she just doesn't have a lot of mobility in her hips,
11:26which we can't fix in real time.
11:28That's something that really requires her to do some yoga.
11:31But most women are able to rotate and articulate their hips.
11:36So let's say I'm noticing I'm pumping hard and she's starting to guard.
11:42Then I can say to her, is that too deep?
11:46Okay, so it's a little too deep.
11:48So then I'll say, all right, just relax your hips. I'll pull out.
11:52Now I'm just going to penetrate half, for example, right?
11:55So now I'm going back to just half strokes, only, you know,
11:58putting in the first couple of inches of my cock, for example, and then I check in with her.
12:02Is that depth okay?
12:04Okay, can you take a little deeper?
12:06And then I go in another 20% maybe.
12:09And then I'll notice like if she kind of involuntarily like tilts the hips back again,
12:12she's guarding, okay.
12:13Or she winces or she's like, in some kind of way, then it's too deep.
12:17In that case, I just adjust.
12:19Now this may mean, depending on your size and her size, that that's it, right?
12:23That this is, she can only take half your cock from this particular position
12:27because this one is, tends to be one where the vagina gets shortened.
12:31And so I'm more likely to bang the edge of the cervix.
12:35Okay, in that case, maybe that's the penetration length that's going to work for this woman at this time.
12:39But the vagina is extremely flexible, right?
12:42And over time, if I give her time to relax into it,
12:46and then I can tell her and you push back to where it feels good for you in this way,
12:50then often she will engorge and stretch.
12:52And then you will be able to get deep penetration, perhaps, you know, sooner or later.
12:58So keep this in mind that you can train the woman to adjust her pelvis by gripping the pelvis,
13:05moving, maneuvering from the sacrum.
13:07So from here, rotate, lift your ass.
13:13And then if she guards at all, then I check in with her, see if the length is too,
13:17the penetration is too deep, readjust, and then you'll get that nice positioning soon.
13:24So this becomes a problem when, worst case, the woman is like locking my ankles, right?
13:29And her legs are down, which makes it very difficult for me to penetrate.
13:33So instead, we want her to open her hips.
13:36If she's got any tension in the pelvis, then I'll just go on the inside of the leg and say,
13:39just relax your leg, run my hand in underneath the back of the knee, lift your knees.
13:44All right, so that simple instruction of lift your knee, which is easy to follow, makes sense,
13:48as opposed to me trying to explain, like, open your pelvis and relax your legs or something,
13:56which won't make as clear sense.
13:58It's just simply lift your knees, relax.
14:02And I can go over, lean my body weight, make sure the other one's open.
14:05And then in this way, we now have the pelvis rotated up,
14:09which means that I've got easy penetration from here.
14:12So there's no barriers because her pelvis is open.
14:17And that makes it much easier for us to both lock in and get a rhythm.
14:21Mistake number four for men is related to the way that they vary their strokes.
14:25So as I was saying earlier, most guys are guilty of the only pumping,
14:30and I've given you some alternatives in terms of undulation.
14:34But then we want to start to think about how do we create, let's say,
14:38like a musical phrasing or some variation in the style of penetration that we're doing.
14:44Because as I mentioned before, if we're only doing the one thing, pumping,
14:47then this gets fatiguing and boring.
14:50Same thing can be the case where if I'm only doing these kind of undulations and rockings
14:55at this slow pace that, I mean, this will add a lot of variation in sensation,
15:00will be interesting and different.
15:01But if I'm only doing that, you know, for 5, 10, 15 minutes, this will also get boring.
15:07So you want to start to think about, like,
15:09what is the different shifts in intensity that I can take the woman through?
15:14All right. So let's say, you know, early on, I put in doing slow penetration.
15:18Maybe I've tilted her hip back here to allow me to get these rocks,
15:23remembering that I don't want her to be jerking around or bucking against me.
15:27So in this case, I'm taking control.
15:30So I might be doing this for some time to engorge and open the pussy.
15:34And then, you know, at some point I grip in to the butt and I start to elongate my strokes.
15:41So then the variation here is still the same slow pace in this case.
15:45And think of this as Lego blocks, right?
15:47There's no specific sequence that I need to follow, but there's lots of options.
15:51All right. So I can go from these longer strokes and I've still got this rotation,
15:56which means the end of the cock now is maneuvering, you know,
16:00in circles or these waves near the entrance to the pussy.
16:05All right. I can pull her out.
16:07I can start to do stretching strokes where I basically rotate my cock like a spiral in and out.
16:15Then, you know, putting in a deep stroke and pulling her into me, for example,
16:19so that she's had all that suction created, this expectation,
16:23because I haven't been fully penetrated. And then I give her a slow, long one.
16:27Right. Then maybe, you know, I grip into a secure hold position,
16:31gripping around the hip, gripping around back muscles,
16:35gripping around the front of the pelvis, around the neck.
16:38So there's these different holds that I can get into for these dominance moments.
16:42And then, you know, then I can start doing more of these bouncing.
16:46And sure, you know, there'll be a time when she's open and wet and ready for it.
16:50And I am doing long pumping strokes or hard, you know, kind of jack hammering.
16:54But again, that's something that I'm going to be doing like for an intense moment,
16:58whatever that is, 30 seconds or so.
17:01Maybe if we're building her close to orgasm, for example.
17:05But I'm still alternating here where I'm doing long, hard strokes, deeper,
17:11let's say, you know, less movement, but still heavy strokes.
17:15And then I might, again, shift back into some more of these kind of undulations.
17:20Right. Shifting into different positions.
17:23Different positions work better for different types of strokes.
17:26So lying it down, transitioning smoothly here with my body weight.
17:31As long as I have some flexibility and rotation in my hips,
17:35which is very important for a man sexually,
17:37then there's lots that I can do from here because I can get these drop strokes
17:42where I'm basically dropping my weight into her, pumping hard.
17:47I can come in, get these rolls.
17:50I can intensify things by, for example, tilting her hips up.
17:56So being aware that I can maneuver her pelvis in pretty much any position
18:00to make it deeper penetration, for example.
18:03So lie flat again, reaching in underneath, lift your ass up, tilting up.
18:09Now I've got this deeper penetration.
18:12Shifting up onto my knees, for example.
18:14Here, this doesn't work as well for my undulations,
18:18but it works extremely well for, you know, these kind of hard fucking moments
18:22and easy for me to, you know, have dominance holds as well.
18:26All right. Whereas if I take her down into spooning,
18:30putting my hand under her pelvis, locking her into me and rolling with her.
18:34All right. This tends to then work for opening the pussy out
18:38and then I can get these deeper, longer strokes here.
18:44Or I can, you know, gripping hard and do more of the hard strokes,
18:49shifting and alternating.
18:50Now in this demonstration, I'm speeding things up.
18:53You can certainly spend a lot more time with each of these strokes,
18:57but what you want to be really aware is like,
18:59what are the waves of sensation I'm taking it through?
19:02I'm taking it through, you know, hard intense moments
19:05and then I shift more into my intimacy, frequency, rolling with her.
19:10Maybe then I get her to undulate her hips with me.
19:14All right. Then shifting smoothly into whatever position from here
19:19into this side scissors.
19:22Also a really good position for this kind of hard fucking.
19:25But because I'm upright, my body weight is stable over the midline.
19:30It means that I don't have to use very much effort at all.
19:32All right. There's none of this bad kind of calisthenics
19:39or this extra movement that's unnecessary.
19:41Instead, my body weight's here and I've got these tilts getting deep penetration
19:46or, you know, slowing down, taking these wave-like strokes like this.
19:53You start to blend all that together, you'll have a very happy lady.
19:57Mistake number four for women is criticizing instead of encouraging.
20:01Is that it?
20:03Yeah, that's it.
20:05That's not how you do it.
20:07Ow, that's annoying.
20:09Men are often very sensitive about their sexual performance.
20:13If I criticize him harshly, he will lose his confidence and probably his erection.
20:18Instead, give feedback that is instructive, sexy and supportive.
20:22I love it if you go slower and deeper.
20:25Like this?
20:27A little slower.
20:30Yeah, that's it.
20:32Let me show you how I want to be touched.
20:34Soft and gentle.
20:36The final mistake that both men and women can certainly be guilty of,
20:39but mostly men are the ones doing this,
20:41is being the silent ninja assassin of the bedroom.
20:46All right, so that looks like...
20:51Even if I'm doing like crazy passionate stuff,
20:55I'm just completely silent, which means my breath is shallow
20:59and I'm not vocalizing and expressing myself.
21:02Trust me on this, that women love to actually hear the man.
21:05So the way you can start to introduce that,
21:07if you feel like this is a bit cheesy or lame or you're a bit embarrassed about it,
21:11is just by increasing your breath to start with.
21:14So if I just take deep breaths in
21:18and breathe out through the mouth,
21:20so a sigh essentially,
21:22this is certainly better than the completely silent.
21:26And then I can build that up by adding a little bit of a moan or growl or hum on my exhale.
21:40And women love this. Why?
21:44Because it makes me feel like you're enjoying my body,
21:47like you're an animal.
21:48Like I'm a bit of an animal.
21:50Yeah, and this is what it should be because sex is animalistic, right?
21:53It's not formal.
21:55It's not something where we're trying to be as polite as possible.
21:58It's where we want to express our animal sexual nature, right?
22:01So taking control and...
22:04I don't have to do it every breath, right?
22:06It's not the in the porn movie where the guys...
22:11Every single breath because yeah, that does get cheesy and uncomfortable
22:15and often the woman doesn't want to vocalize that much either.
22:18But I just need to think of it as a part of my awareness
22:22of the whole sexual experience.
22:24Especially when, you know, let's say I've built up to a heavy moment
22:28and then I hold.
22:32Fuck yeah.
22:33All right, letting her know that she's giving me pleasure
22:36is highly validating for the woman.
22:38Same for the ladies.
22:39Letting him know that he's turning you on.
22:41Men love to hear sighs and moans.
22:43It makes you feel like he's a sex god.
22:48Sigh.
22:50Sigh.
22:52Sigh.
22:54Sigh.
22:56There you have it, gentlemen and ladies.
22:58Five deadly mistakes to remove from your boudoir activities
23:02and five sexy alternatives to make sure that both of you
23:05are getting more pleasure in the bedroom.
23:07If you'd like to learn more advanced sexual technique,
23:09then you can take advantage right now of the free video module
23:12that I'm offering.
23:13In this in-depth instructional video,
23:15I'll be explaining and demonstrating
23:17mastery over sexual positions.
23:19How to transition smoothly and seamlessly between positions
23:22as well as adjustments for different body types
23:25and variations on classic positions and techniques
23:29that dial the pleasure up massively for both partners.
23:32So to take advantage of this video,
23:34you just need to click the link in the description,
23:36put your email in, you'll receive it immediately.
23:38And stay tuned, coming very soon
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23:46on how to become a literal sex god.
23:49Starting from the basics of foreplay, kissing, undressing,
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24:23Peace.
24:24♪