Totally Funny Animals S01E01 (2024)

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Transcript
00:00Hello there, I'm Andy Woodhull and welcome to Totally Funny Animals.
00:14Do you know what you call a house without pets?
00:17Clean!
00:19My dog and I have a deal when we watch TV together.
00:23The dog gets 10% of my snacks.
00:25She's sort of like my agent.
00:27She's good, too.
00:28She got me this job.
00:31Needs to work on her negotiating skills, though.
00:33I'm being paid in bones.
00:38Looks like someone left their popcorn unattended.
00:40She's eating my popcorn!
00:42I'm so sorry.
00:44Oh, sorry.
00:45Is this not for everyone?
00:48You tell him, Haven.
00:49You don't eat my popcorn.
00:50Go away!
00:51Fine, fine.
00:52Wasn't even buttered.
00:53Go away!
00:55Nobody messes with Haven's popcorn.
01:01Darn right!
01:04Easy.
01:06Everyone gets a treat.
01:08Just stay calm.
01:09Easy.
01:10Nice manners.
01:13Easy.
01:15Easy.
01:18Samantha was there to help Buck get all the grass a growing horse needs.
01:23She pulled fistfuls out so the horse didn't have to work so hard at it.
01:28Of course, no good deed goes unpunished.
01:35What'd she do?
01:36She sneezed on me.
01:40Stella took Anthony's sandwich.
01:43Stella, did you take Anthony's sandwich?
01:49Stella, did you take Anthony's sandwich?
01:54Don't worry, Anthony.
01:55Mama's gonna get your sandwich back.
01:57Put it back on the plate.
01:59No!
02:04We have more options for entertainment than ever before.
02:07We can download movies, stream television shows, and of course, there's always our home security footage.
02:13Sometimes, that's the most entertaining of all.
02:17So tonight, we're counting down the top ten times the security footage was better than TV.
02:22And we'll start watching with number ten.
02:27They just knew the wind couldn't be responsible for all those broken branches they found every morning.
02:35A bear dancing with the tree every night makes so much sense now.
02:43The only laws on the books regarding pets tend to be about biting or not being on the leash.
02:48Finally, there's a forum that examines animal malfeasance and holds the culprits responsible.
02:54This is Critter Court.
02:58There's a guilty face.
03:00And here is the crime scene.
03:04Snowman and Hat chewed up.
03:09Christmas tree and snowman tchotchke massacred.
03:15And two guilty puppies.
03:21That is Pete. And who did it?
03:24Why are you looking at me? I didn't do it.
03:26Nope.
03:29You did it.
03:32Although it used to be the cat door.
03:34Used to be is right.
03:39Let's go in, shall we?
03:42Okay, this is me coming in the door.
03:46Looking at what Chewy was all chewed up.
03:50You name your dog Chewy, you sort of get what you get.
03:56Maybe name your next dog Cleans the Housey.
04:06We are counting down the top ten times the security footage was better than TV.
04:11And we've made it to number nine.
04:15Hi.
04:16She installed a camera so she could talk to her cats all day while she was at work.
04:21Peek-a-boo.
04:24Peek-a-boo.
04:28It lasted for about an hour.
04:35Why is it that when people are goofing off, we say they're horsing around?
04:39Have you ever met an actual horse? Those guys are all business.
04:44Horsing around should mean showing up on time, putting in a full day's work,
04:49and doing it all while wearing stylish shoes.
05:13Push, push, push.
05:19Esme, would you like a treat?
05:22Oh, you want some treats?
05:29And the countdown continues with number eight.
05:33There goes the bird.
05:36And like a boomerang, he comes right back.
05:40Oh!
05:47That bird really doesn't like that guy.
05:53Thirsty for more?
05:55Go fill up the water bowl, because there's more Totally Funny Animals when we return.
06:11Esme.
06:23She doesn't like his shag.
06:31Keep rolling, because tonight we've been counting down the top ten times the security footage was better than TV.
06:38Let's take a look at number seven.
06:43Raccoon fight!
06:46And they wondered why the well water was tasting gamey.
06:53What's the rush? Where's the fire?
06:55Sir, I know you're excited, but this is a public swimming pool. No running!
07:00These are all things we say when it's time to relax and slow things down a little bit.
07:05It's time to slow your roll.
07:10Bubbles! Bubbles! I love bubbles!
07:13Gracie loves bubbles.
07:16She's just not very good at them.
07:19Why won't these bubbles hold still?
07:27Just like the Iditarod.
07:31But without the cushiony snow.
07:40Happiness!
07:45Thy name is Benji.
07:53Open up!
08:01With the rebound!
08:07There's a lot of American pride around the bald eagle,
08:10but founding father Benjamin Franklin preferred a different bird, the turkey.
08:15And in a message to his daughter, Franklin once called the eagle a bird of bad moral character
08:21and felt that the turkey was a bird of courage.
08:25I guess he didn't have a lot going on the week he wrote that letter.
08:29So let's get patriotic and celebrate some turkey time.
08:34Hey guys, what did the turkey say when he crossed the road?
08:41I guess they heard that one.
08:45And now, the percussive stylings of the Turkey Brothers.
08:49Make them quick!
08:52Uh, yeah. This will be their final performance.
08:58You two. Judge, break them up.
09:01Get them, Judge. They're fighting.
09:04You two, stop! You love each other!
09:08Birdie and Cluck were always at each other's throats.
09:11Good boy, Judge. Close your eyes.
09:13And it was Judge's job to break them up.
09:15Judge, break them up with your ball. You know how to do it.
09:18There should be a name for what Judge does.
09:20He's a turkey fighter breaker-upper.
09:22That works.
09:24Good boy, Judge. Good boy.
09:27I can't get out of my car.
09:29Invasion of the poultry.
09:31Look at this. Oh my God.
09:35Look. I can't get out.
09:37We always knew justice would be served swiftly.
09:41And without gravy.
09:46We've been counting down the top ten times the security footage was better than TV.
09:51Let's keep things rolling with number six.
09:55That time there was a bunny in the yard.
09:58You two. You two. Hey! Hey!
10:01Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
10:03Oscar!
10:05Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
10:07Buddy. Buddy. Buddy.
10:09Out. Out. Out. Out the door. Out the door.
10:12Oscar! Oh my God.
10:14Get the bunny. Get out.
10:17I got you. I got you.
10:19Yeah, that was a close one.
10:22I'm not a nostalgic person, but I used to be.
10:25Gosh, what a great time that was.
10:28If you feel like taking a look back, let's watch some retro pets.
10:32Needless to say, it was not Rhonda's finest hour.
10:36But farmer Yancey and his wife were natural problem solvers.
10:41If they could teach the rooster to let them sleep till nine,
10:44they could definitely handle Rhonda.
10:48Whoa! Okay, we're jumping right to Chainsaw.
10:53Skipping right over covering her in butter, huh?
10:57Still no luck.
10:59The thing about it, anybody watching this video
11:03is going to have all kinds of ideas of what I should be doing.
11:06I do believe there was mention of butter.
11:09All right, one last pull.
11:12Oh, hi.
11:16You see, if Rhonda ever gets curious about a hole in a tree ever again...
11:24Duckies stuck in a pool?
11:26Daddy's going to save the duckies. They can't get out.
11:30Might I recommend more protection than a Speedo?
11:36Hey, bud, practice kissing on your arm like a normal teen.
11:40We aren't that kind of friends.
11:44Okay, that's good, I guess.
11:48Our countdown rolls on. Here's number five.
11:52That's it.
11:54That's it.
11:56That's it.
11:58That's it.
12:00That's it.
12:02Our countdown rolls on. Here's number five.
12:05That time you learn that snakes can coil up real tight.
12:13And Boomer can jump real high.
12:22We've got to take a break, but don't go anywhere.
12:25Totally Funny Animals will be right back with more great animal videos.
13:03Oh!
13:11All night we've been counting down the top ten times the security footage was better than TV.
13:16We're already at number four. Let's check it out.
13:20Well, hello, Mr. Squirrel.
13:23Neat.
13:26I hope you're feeling chatty, because it's about time to talk for the animals.
13:34All right, Greg, the jig is up. This is my bed. You know the drill.
13:38Five more minutes.
13:40No, your spots are on the couch, the tables, every windowsill, and pretty much the rest of the house.
13:46Come on, let's share it. Let's just share it.
13:52Okay, stay over there.
13:55Dude, come on.
13:57I need to stretch to get comfortable.
14:00That's it. Get off my bed.
14:07Unbelievable.
14:10You stay. Stay. Stay.
14:15Stay.
14:19You gonna eat that?
14:21I was gonna when she said we could. So, okay.
14:26What the heck?
14:28This feels unfair.
14:30We're getting a puppy, they said. It'll be fun, they said.
14:36I haven't slept for three days.
14:41We are headed back to the countdown with number three.
14:45It's nice to see that even at night, some neighborhood kids were putting that playset to use.
14:57In school, it's hard to tell the teacher your dog ate your homework,
15:00when everyone knows your dog has a famously fickle stomach.
15:04Really, Trent? Your dog ate your homework?
15:07Then why do I see your dad at the grocery store every week
15:11buying wheat-free, high-fiber, extra-soft, organic kibble?
15:16For everyone else, it's a fine excuse.
15:21Kelsey, you're eating my homework.
15:24Kelsey, you have my homework. Give it.
15:27Kelsey prefers American history because of its sophisticated, yet aged taste.
15:33But she'll settle for algebra in a pinch.
15:39You think it's funny, right?
15:45First, commit the crime.
15:47Then, destroy the evidence.
15:52After procrastinating, you finally finish that book report.
15:58And Cooper thanks you for it.
16:00That's nobody.
16:02No, Cooper.
16:04Cooper, no.
16:08Did you chew this, Maverick?
16:11Huh?
16:13Did you chew it?
16:15Maverick pleads the Fifth.
16:22To Tootsie, a school backpack is like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
16:28Let's see.
16:29Chemistry? Too processed.
16:31Biology? Too organic.
16:33Spanish? Woo!
16:35Way too spicy.
16:37Wait, here we go.
16:40A social studies midterm is just what he's in the mood for.
16:47Holy cow!
16:48We are already at the penultimate video on our countdown to the top ten times
16:53the security footage was better than TV.
16:56Let's take a gander at number two.
17:03Only one thing can get Tony running that fast.
17:08Hey, you don't smell so great either, Tony.
17:13It's time for a break.
17:15Don't you dare go anywhere.
17:16When we return, you'll see number one on this week's countdown,
17:19and we'll have plenty more to laugh about.
17:21More Totally Funny Animals coming right up.
17:57We have been counting down the top ten times the surveillance footage was better than TV.
18:03But since we're watching it on TV, I might amend that to say it's just as good as TV.
18:09Either way, let's take another look at the first nine.
18:14Number ten. Oh yeah, that's the spot.
18:18Number nine. Good kitty.
18:21Number eight. Incoming!
18:23Number seven. Raccoon hot tub party.
18:27Number six. Renegade rabbit. Run, run, run.
18:32Number five. That new reptile smell.
18:37Number four. Hiya, buddy.
18:40Number three. Foxy playground.
18:45Number two. Smell you later.
18:48Oh my god.
18:50And now, on our countdown of the top ten times the surveillance footage was better than TV,
18:55we proudly present number one.
19:01Hey, Alexander has always put out a good spread.
19:03Let's see what we got on the menu today.
19:07Oh, that smells good.
19:13Number four.
19:14Oh, that smells good.
19:20A little sunflower seeds and grain ought to hit the spot.
19:24Hibernating all winter has made me hungry.
19:28Let's pull this down.
19:30They keep the good stuff up high.
19:34But I got this.
19:37Tastes better when you gotta work for it.
19:40There goes the Alexander's dog.
19:43You think I'm afraid of old Shep?
19:45I'm up there for crying out loud.
19:47No dog is going to scare me away from my treats.
19:51Wait, that dog's not coming over here, is he?
19:55I don't want any hassle. Let me just eat the rest of this real quick.
19:59And I'm out of here.
20:04Attaboy, Shep. That'll show him.
20:10And there you have it.
20:12The best half hour of my day.
20:14Thanks for joining us, and we can't wait to do it again
20:17on the next Totally Funny Animals.
20:19Good night, everybody.
20:39www.totallyfunnyanimals.com