Bowsette's Princess Lessons - Chapter 3 (Princess Daisy Gets Spanked with a Ruler!)
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Bosette's Princess Lessons, Chapter 3. To the Library, by Yu-Mei.
00:05Author's Note. I'm not happy with the quality of voice samples from one of the text-to-speech
00:10services I was using, so I've tried changing some voices. If you strongly prefer one of
00:16the old voices, let me know in the comments and I'll consider using it again, but I think
00:20the voices all sound clearer when I use the same program.
00:25The librarian, Litter Toad—friends called her, Litter T—was having a most unpleasant
00:31day. First that ill-mannered Bowser had spoiled her lunch with his noisy surprise attack.
00:38No sooner had she fled to her library to escape the enemy soldiers, than she discovered the
00:43explosions that had destroyed most of the castle dining room had also knocked some books
00:47off the shelves. The horror! She had just had enough time to put the library in order,
00:54when a huge group of people burst in, led by Mario and Princess Peach, rambling on
00:59about needing to read the ancient scrolls documenting the history of the royal house
01:03of Toadstool. Princess Peach had personally promised that all would be set in order once
01:09they'd completed their emergency research project. Even then, the only thing that had
01:14persuaded Litter T to let them so much as touch the delicate ancient scrolls, was when
01:19Goombella mentioned she was a student of Professor Frankly. For a pregnant moment,
01:25Litter folded her arms and tapped her high-heeled toe furiously.
01:29Well, I suppose that old duff must have taught you something. But I don't want all of you
01:34crowding the ancient archives. Do you have any idea how delicate ancient papyrus is?
01:40The room's temperature has to be strictly regulated. And what about those two war bombs?
01:46If one of them so much as sneezes, they could incinerate the entire archive.
01:51Mario's mustache twitched. The two Bob-ombs in question, Bomet and Admiral Bobbery, glanced
01:56apologetically at their fuses. Peach started to protest, not wanting any of Mario's old
02:03companions to feel excluded, only for Litter T to whip a wooden ruler out of her sleeve,
02:08faster than most ancient warriors could draw a sword from a sheath.
02:12Keep your manners, Princess. I can still wrap your knuckles if I need to.
02:17Thankfully, Admiral Bobbery, who was the oldest and wisest of the group, gracefully intervened.
02:23Pardon me, but I don't think I'd be much use to you in a library, Mario. What say those
02:30of us who aren't archaeologists retire for the night? Princess Peach, if you have need
02:35of us in the morning, you'll find us refreshed and ready.
02:39Well, at least someone here has a dose of common sense.
02:42Harumphed Litter T. Peach sighed in relief.
02:46An excellent suggestion, Admiral. I'll have the Royal Toad Guard escort you all to your
02:51own guest rooms.
02:52Litter T adjusted her thick spectacles.
02:54Then, who in the group is going to the archives? I have a strict limit of eight persons at
03:00a time.
03:01Peach bowed demurely.
03:02That should suffice. The group will include myself, Sir Mario, Sir Luigi, Princess Daisy,
03:09Miss Goombella, Mr. Cooper, and me, Mr. Goombario, squeaked the young Goomba, hopping on one
03:15foot as he raised his field journal high.
03:19Litter T narrowed her eyes at Goombario.
03:22Are you a student of Professor Franklin? You look a bit young to be at university.
03:28Goombario bit his lip. Technically, he was only an incoming freshman in the undergraduate
03:33archaeology program at U Goom.
03:35Well, uh…
03:37Cooper clapped Goombario across the back.
03:39Ma'am, I'll have you know this Goomba is one of the most promising archaeology students
03:43U Goom has ever had. I'm just sad Koopa Tech couldn't steal him away from you.
03:48Litter T nodded.
03:49Very well. If he isn't careful with those scrolls, I'm taking it out of your shell,
03:55young Master Cooper.
03:57The stern librarian escorted Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Princess Daisy to the
04:03ancient archives.
04:05Of Mario's fifteen companions, only Goombella, Cooper, and Goombario remained with them.
04:12In the archive room, Cooper, who specialized in cartography, busied himself by examining
04:17ancient maps of Mushroom Kingdom, carefully drawing a copy and taking notes.
04:23This is incredible, Princess. I had no idea the Mushroom Kingdom once controlled so much
04:28of the Koopa Kingdom's territory.
04:30Peach nodded.
04:31Yes. In its early history, the Mushroom Kingdom was an expansive empire. In fact, the same
04:38royal family that ruled the Mushroom Kingdom also once ruled Sarasaland, but King Toadstool
04:43II divided the lands between his two sons.
04:46Fascinated, Daisy watched Cooper meticulously measuring out a graph for his map, before
04:51snapping to attention at the mention of her home country of Sarasaland.
04:55Yeah, Peach and I are like… distant cousins or something.
04:59Third cousins, once removed.
05:01Oh yeah. So you're Great-Great-Grandpa Chintz's Great-Great-Great-Granddaughter.
05:07No, Daisy, I'm your Great-Great-Great-Grandma Calico's Great-Great-Granddaughter.
05:12Daisy squinted as she tried to recall the royal family history classes she hadn't
05:16napped through.
05:17Oh. So, what does that make us?
05:20Third cousins, once removed.
05:22Eager to help, Goombario cleared his throat.
05:25Hey, I found something interesting. These characters are all Shroomish. It says, Hi,
05:32Lulu.
05:33Who's Lulu? asked Luigi.
05:36Goombario glanced back at the word sheepishly.
05:38No clue, but I can tell it's a formal name because of the diacritic mark above the name.
05:44Goombella glanced over at Goombario's notes.
05:46Good work, Goombario. But that's not Old Shroomish. It's like, a totally different
05:51language.
05:53Goombario scowled.
05:54But these are all Old Shroomish characters. I recognize them from Professor Frankly's
05:59intro to Old and Middle Shroomish.
06:01Goombella nodded, her inner geek mode activating.
06:04Correct, the characters are the same used in all Old Shroomish texts, but apart from
06:09a few words, the actual language is different. See how the sentences are constructed? This
06:16is way more complicated grammar than Old Shroomish.
06:20Goombario blushed as he realized his mistake. When he'd first met Goombella, her habit of
06:24using valley girl expressions had given him the impression she was an airhead. Now he
06:29found himself struggling to keep up.
06:32As Goombario struggled to remember anything he'd read that could help, Goombella started
06:37to chatter.
06:39Princess Peach, this is incredible. Why hasn't anyone at Ugoom had a chance to transcribe
06:45these before?
06:47Everyone flinched at the sound of Litera, the librarian's ruler, cracking against her
06:50open palm.
06:52Inside voices inside the library, please.
06:55Princess Peach folded her arms, subconsciously wanting to protect her palms and knuckles
06:59from the fury of the wooden ruler.
07:02Goombella nodded apologetically, then lowered her voice.
07:06My apologies, ma'am. We'll try to keep it down. Ahem.
07:11Goombario, do me a favor and start making an exact copy of this. We can send it to Professor
07:17Frankly for advice on how to translate it.
07:20Thrilled to have something useful to do, Goombario barely contained a scream of joy.
07:25Eep. Right away, Professor Goombella.
07:28Oh no. I'm still just a teaching assistant. Decoding this language could take months, years,
07:36even assuming we have a large enough sample to work with.
07:40In the meantime, I've been scanning the scrolls we have to find any mention of a crown or
07:45a queen.
07:47Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, this is where you could be of most help to me.
07:52Princess Peach curtsied.
07:54I am happy to oblige, Miss Goombella. Ask us anything.
07:58Peach turned to find Daisy still fixated on Cooper's cartography project.
08:03Whoa. You're so good at drawing, dude. Man, I love maps.
08:08Said Cooper, without breaking his attention on his task for an instant.
08:13When she felt Peach gently tap her elbow, Daisy jumped into a martial arts stance.
08:18Hi-ya. I'm ready. Who do we have to kill?
08:23Daisy stiffened when she felt the librarian slap her sharply across
08:26the behind with the wooden ruler.
08:28Lower your voice inside the library, Princess Daisy.
08:32Daisy felt a single tear welling up, but with a sharp intake of breath, put on her game face.
08:38Sorry, ma'am. Phew, that librarian of yours is a real bettel-ex, Peach. I like her.
08:46Peach delicately directed Daisy's attention to Goombella.
08:49Thank you, Daisy. Now, Goombella, please continue. You have our full attention.
08:56Not wanting to hurt the delicate scrolls, Goombella flipped through her notebook,
09:00which contained all her relevant observations so far.
09:03Well, from what I understand, these scrolls record the entire history of the royal family.
09:10But there seems to be quite a bit of myth and legend mixed in with the history.
09:14I'm trying to sort out fact from fiction.
09:17What can you tell me about the first queen of the Mushroom Kingdom?
09:21Well, I was taught that she ascended to the throne as a result of a succession crisis.
09:27King Toadstool I died without fathering a son to inherit the throne,
09:31so a council of elders was formed, and his eldest daughter was appointed as crown princess
09:35until the time she could give birth to a son. Daisy rolled her eyes.
09:39Uck. So just because she was born a girl, she couldn't be queen? Why did they have to be so
09:46uptight about boys and girls back then? I'm a girl, and my dad says that I can do anything
09:51if I set my mind to it, including being a wise queen. Peach shrugged.
09:56It was a different time, Daisy. The first king of the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't just a hereditary
10:02ruler. He was a military leader. Back then, a king had to be the type of man who could command
10:08respect from an entire army of men, and fight alongside them if needed. Daisy started a death
10:13stare contest with Peach. And we can't do that. Just because we're girls. That's not fair.
10:20Peach stood her ground. Is it fair that only men were required to serve in those armies?
10:26Momentarily, Daisy was at a loss for words. Daisy glanced around the room,
10:31as if hoping to find a witty retort written on one of the piles of books and scrolls.
10:36When she caught sight of Luigi, her face turned red as a toadstool.
10:40Why, oh, why did I have to have a brain fart now? She thought. Oblivious to Daisy's dilemma,
10:47Luigi stroked his chin. Oh, well, Peach, I never thought about it that way,
10:52but aren't you going to inherit the throne of Mushroom Kingdom? Yeah, boomed Daisy.
10:58Crack, went the librarian's ruler across the princess of Sarasaland's royal behind.
11:04Daisy felt a shiver travel up her spine, inhaled sharply, and grit her teeth.
11:09Sorry, ma'am, inside voice. Carefully, Daisy lowered her voice to a whisper,
11:15but she also tapped Peach's chest and gesticulated wildly as if she really
11:19wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Yeah, you're going to be queen of the Mushroom
11:24Kingdom, but you wouldn't have been allowed to ascend the throne back then.
11:27You think that's fair, Peach? I don't disagree with you, Daisy. My point is,
11:33in those days, the people of the Mushroom Kingdom believed it was important for their
11:37to always be a king of the Mushroom Kingdom to protect them. Today, I have counselors,
11:42generals, good men I can rely on. As Peach caught sight of Mario,
11:46standing like a silent statue listening to every word she said, Peach felt goosebumps.
11:52To lend me their courage. In our day and age, I don't have to charge into battle to be a good
11:57queen. I don't think I'd be able to do something like that.
12:01Daisy caught sight of the librarian out of the corner of her eye,
12:05and barely controlled her desire to shout her battle cry to the heavens.
12:09Sure, but just because we don't have to fight doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to fight.
12:14Daisy pulled Peach into a one-armed hug.
12:17And when the day comes that the forces of evil try to destroy you and everything you love,
12:22Peach, I solemnly vow to fight side by side with you. Till victory, or till death.
12:27Peach paused to collect her thoughts.
12:30Thank you, Daisy. You're such a good friend.
12:33Touched by this display, but also impatient for more information, Goombella interjected.
12:38Princess Peach, you said Queen Toadstool was originally granted the title of Crown Princess.
12:44What changed? How did she become queen?
12:48Peach extricated herself from Daisy's embrace.
12:51Well, her cousin, Duke Shiitake of Sarasaland,
12:54claimed a hereditary right to the throne of Mushroom Kingdom.
12:57Daisy raised her hand.
12:59Oh, I know about him. He was the big cheese in Sarasaland before our family's royal line
13:05was established. Shiitake was a nasty guy. Before him, Sarasaland was traditionally divided
13:12into four minor kingdoms. But he treated all of them like dirt, and tried to force them
13:18all under a one-size-fits-all system, where he controlled everything.
13:22Mario snorted once, but didn't interrupt.
13:25Daisy inhaled, then pressed a fist against her mouth to stop herself from screaming.
13:30Wait a minute. I remember now. Didn't he force Crown Princess Toadstool to marry him?
13:36The room went dead silent.
13:38Nice and quiet. Now, that's more like it.
13:42Thought Literate-y. Peach sighed.
13:44That's correct, Daisy.
13:47To avoid a war, the Council of Elders arranged a political marriage between Duke Shiitake
13:51and Crown Princess Toadstool.
13:53Mario clutched his arms so tightly, the fabric of his sleeves creaked.
13:57I don't suppose Crown Princess Toadstool had any say in the matter.
14:01Peach shook her head.
14:03I don't know, Mario. My history is sketchy on the details.
14:08Political marriages were common at the time. It's possible she consented to the marriage.
14:13And that makes it okay. Marry me, or else. It was a different time, after all.
14:19growled Mario.
14:20Peach was taken aback.
14:22Mario? Surely, you don't think I approve of what the Council of Elders did?
14:27Duke Shiitake was a mad tyrant. What they did was wrong.
14:32Still hot under the collar, Mario took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair.
14:36But his voice was gentle as he spoke to Peach.
14:39Peach, I wasn't trying to say you agree. Of course, not.
14:44You've got your head screwed on, right? It's just irritating.
14:49All these one-nappy creature, Duke Shiitake, King Koopa, pushing people around,
14:55telling them what to do.
14:56Oblivious to the tension between Mario and Peach, Daisy slapped Mario across the back.
15:02Yeah. Good one, Mario. Guys like that need a swift kick in the ass,
15:07as my dad would say, oop. But I'm not supposed to repeat that.
15:12Peach strained her memory to recall more details from her history lessons at Princess Academy.
15:17And anyway, the marriage didn't even do anything to solve the succession crisis.
15:22After the marriage, they never had any children, which meant there was still no male heir.
15:27But, Goombella, most of this is standard history.
15:31Surely you must know all of this already?
15:33Goombella nodded. I'm familiar with the basics.
15:37But it's good to hear it from your perspective, Peach.
15:40This is your family history after all.
15:43What happened to Queen Toadstool?
15:45A sly grin crept across Peach's normally stoic face.
15:49Oh. That's why I was always so interested in her story.
15:54You see, once he assumed he had full military control over Castle Toadstool,
15:58Duke Shittake illegally disbanded the Council of Elders.
16:01When Queen Toadstool didn't give birth to a son for him, or bear any children for that matter,
16:06he accused her of witchcraft and tried to have her executed.
16:10Only she turned the tables on him.
16:12You see, Duke Shittake put her in charge of all the household affairs.
16:16A woman's place is in the home, asked Cooper with amusement,
16:20still not looking up from his cartography project.
16:23Peach giggled.
16:24Precisely, Cooper. And she used that position to fill the castle staff
16:29with those loyal to her father's rule.
16:31So, when Duke Shittake attempted his little coup d'etat,
16:35he found himself trapped in a palace surrounded by Toadstool royalists.
16:38Daisy started hopping on the balls of her feet.
16:41Yeah. And then there was some wicked sea dwarf here.
16:45Dad showed me how it all played out on his war game table.
16:49See, the power-ups were completely different back then.
16:52So to defend the castle.
16:54Before Daisy could launch into an artistically detailed description
16:57of medieval Mushroom Kingdom war tactics, Goombella intervened.
17:01Queen Toadstool developed most of what became the standard power-ups.
17:06Red mushrooms, green mushrooms, and fire flowers.
17:10Mario's magnificent mustache curled in shock.
17:13Wait, Queen Toadstool invented the power-ups?
17:16Peach shook her head.
17:17Not all of them. But she certainly had a hand in those three.
17:21Why do you think they're spread all around the Mushroom Kingdom in question-mark blocks?
17:26We want our people armed and ready for anything.
17:29Luigi raised a hand.
17:30I'm assuming she wound right.
17:33So what are you not going to do, Shittake? Did you let him go back to Sarishaland?
17:38Hell no, barked Princess Daisy.
17:40Ahem, chirped Litter Toad.
17:42Folding her arms as she gripped her wooden ruler and tapping her foot.
17:47Daisy's eyes went wide, and her normally tan face went so pale,
17:51her freckles seemed to appear from nowhere.
17:54Oh, my bad, I'll just-
17:56Daisy meekly put her hands on her knees, presenting her bottom as an easy target.
18:06After Litter whacked Daisy across the behind three times, the librarian clicked her tongue.
18:12Tut, tut, tut. That's your last warning, Princess Daisy. You may stand up.
18:18Yes, ma'am, squeaked Daisy, wincing.
18:21Unlike Peach, Daisy preferred not to wear a bustle under her dress,
18:25a decision she was now regretting.
18:28Determined to behave like a proper princess, Daisy folded her hands in front of her,
18:33imitating Peach's demure, refined posture.
18:36Shittake was stripped of his title as Duke of Sarisaland, along with his lens.
18:41However, Queen Toadstool spared his nephew,
18:44Shittake Jr., and approved a marriage between him and her younger sister, Princess Calico.
18:50Mario raised an eyebrow.
18:52Approve a marriage? Did she let them marry of their own free will?
18:56You don't think she'd force her own sister into an arranged marriage after what happened to her,
19:01do you?
19:02Daisy shrugged and looked to Peach, hoping for an answer.
19:06Peach only bowed her head.
19:08I wish I knew, Mario.
19:10Most likely, the marriage was arranged for political purposes,
19:13but that doesn't necessarily mean Queen Toadstool forced her sister into the marriage against her
19:18will. If it's any comfort, Shittake Jr. and Princess Calico apparently had many children,
19:24and some of our oldest love poems and romantic tales center on their marriage.
19:28I'd like to think they were one another's true love, even if it began as an arranged marriage.
19:33Mario resisted the urge to tease Peach, instead patting her on the back.
19:38It was Mario's way of silently saying,
19:42Let's not have this argument again.
19:44As a blue-collar kid from Brooklyn,
19:47Mario had never quite adjusted to the medieval politics of the Mushroom Kingdom.
19:52Peach thrilled at the touch, and correctly guessed its hidden meaning.
19:57It had been years since he and Luigi had first teleported to this strange land through a warp
20:02pipe, and Peach found his stories about America, and constitutional democratic republics,
20:08every bit as strange.
20:10Feeling oddly comforted, Peach addressed Goombella.
20:14Well, Goombella, Boomario, Koopa, I'm sure you know the rest.
20:18Queen Toadstool made Shittake the second and Princess Calico stewards of the throne of the
20:23Mushroom Empire. Their firstborn son became King Toadstool II, and his twin sons inherited the
20:29thrones of Mushroom Kingdom and Sarasaland, respectively.
20:33Daisy pointed two thumbs toward herself, and remembered to whisper just in time to avoid
20:37the wrath of the wooden ruler.
20:39And we restored autonomy to the governors of the four administrative wards of Sarasaland.
20:45Power to the people, baby.
20:47Right on, added Koopa, holding out a fist to fist-bump Daisy and still not looking up
20:52from his calculations.
20:54Having finished his copy of the archaic map of the Mushroom Empire,
20:58he was now attempting to update it according to a modern knowledge of geography.
21:04Still feeling embarrassed by his earlier gaffes, Goombario looked up from his progress,
21:09transcribing the mysterious language.
21:12The illuminated art depicting knights and shadow monsters decorating the scrolls was
21:16pretty cool, but he wasn't sure how helpful any of it would be.
21:20Yeah, Goombella.
21:22But you and I already know all this stuff.
21:25What's the relevance?
21:26How is this history lesson going to help us deal with Bowser?
21:30Goombella carefully opened two scrolls of papyri and a thick book to spots she had previously
21:35noted.
21:36Simple.
21:37I didn't know for sure about Queen Toadstool's connection to the power-ups.
21:42Now that I've heard Princess Peach's account of her family history, I think my hunch is
21:46correct.
21:47Look at this illustration of a crown.
21:50The notes in Shroomish describe it as an early prototype for a power-up.
21:55Everyone quickly but silently shoved to get a look at the illustration.
22:00Even Cooper, who had been engrossed in his cartography, couldn't resist.
22:04And that's a floor plan for the Dry Dry Desert Pyramid.
22:07That fits perfectly with where you guys say you found Bowser's mystery crown.
22:11Goombario whooped in delight as he examined the old Shroomish characters, and found he
22:16could pick out a few words.
22:18Woohoo.
22:19And that's an illustration of a Duplighost, and the word illusion.
22:23The power-up transforms your appearance to the likeness of another person, along with
22:27letting you imitate their abilities.
22:29Just like a Duplighost's power.
22:31Thwack.
22:32Litter-A-Toad landed her ruler across Goombario's backside.
22:36She wasn't quite sure where to aim to land the blow on a Goomba's butt, but her guess
22:41was roughly correct.
22:42Sorry, ma'am, hissed Goombario, mourning the loss of his brief moment of triumph.
22:48At least it's not me getting thumped on, thought Princess Daisy.
22:52Luigi pressed his fist against his lips, deep in thought.
22:56But that doesn't explain the firepower Bowser had.
22:58If he was just imitating Peach, he doesn't have explosion magic.
23:02Right, Peach?
23:03At the news that someone in her library might possess explosion magic, Litter-A-Toad's
23:08ruler hand was twitching, ready to distribute a volley of stinging wax, even to Princess
23:14Peach.
23:16Painfully aware of the ruler, Peach was quick to answer.
23:19No.
23:20I don't have that power.
23:22Which means it can't be simple illusion magic, Goombella gestured to another illustration.
23:28Here's my working hypothesis.
23:30Let's say Queen Toadstool designs a crown that functions like a sort of practice power-up.
23:37Anytime she experiments with new magic, she infuses it into the crown for a test drive.
23:42Want to test out new explosive fire flowers?
23:46Use the crown to experiment with your magic.
23:49If it works, you develop a new power-up based on that magic.
23:53If not, back to the drawing board.
23:56Duplighosts were probably the inspiration for the power-ups that involve transformation.
24:02Good catch, Goombario.
24:04At the sound of Goombella's supportive words, Goombario felt his stinging pride soothed
24:09slightly.
24:10Though the spot where the ruler had landed was still smarting, Daisy scratched her head.
24:15So, that's it?
24:16Bowser has the equivalent of a permanent power-up stuck to his head?
24:21Well, that's not so bad.
24:23We use power-ups all the time.
24:25They're useful, but not likely to blow up the palace or anything.
24:30Luigi shook his head.
24:31It's worse than that, Daisy!
24:33One power-up like itself is a weapon, but who knows how this crown works?
24:37What if its sword or the magic queen of the Mushroom Kingdom ever tested on it?
24:41It'd be like having every power-up you could ever need.
24:44All at once!
24:45Oh, Daisy!
24:46Why are you looking at me like that?
24:48Luigi paused as he saw the inscrutable expression on Daisy's face.
24:52Oh no!
24:53Now she's mad at me for interrupting her.
24:56I'm such a jerk!
24:57She's probably going to put me in a headlock and give me no Gs later, thought Luigi.
25:02Daisy almost purred.
25:04Hmm.
25:05Luigi is so smart.
25:07I'm such a goof.
25:08I just want to put him in a headlock and give him moogies to show him how much I appreciate
25:13him.
25:14But I'll wait till later, thought Daisy.
25:17Peach sighed.
25:18I was worried about this.
25:20All this work and we still don't have much to go on.
25:23Thank you, Boom Bella, Koopa, Boom Mario.
25:27You've all done excellent work.
25:29I'll send for Professor Frankly and Professor Toad.
25:32I'm assigning each of you a toad from my personal staff to act as your assistants.
25:38Anything you need, name it, and it's yours.
25:41Ms. Littra Toad, may they have permission to access these materials as needed?
25:45Littra nodded, pleased that Peach was not overstepping her authority in the library.
25:50These two are welcome anywhere, anytime, she gestured to Goombella and Koopa in turn.
25:56She aimed her ruler at Goombario and checked her swing a few inches away from his nose,
26:01or rather, the spot where his nose would have been if Goombas had noses.
26:05You I'm not so sure about.
26:08But, as long as you're accompanied by an adult, I'll allow it.
26:12Goombario gulped.
26:13Yes, ma'am.
26:14Satisfied, Littra Toad marched away, still keeping an ear open for overly loud comments
26:20in her library.
26:21Goombario fumed silently.
26:24This sucks.
26:25Goombella and Koopa aren't much older than I am.
26:28Why am I the only one singled out?
26:30But before he could start sulking properly, Peach put a supportive hand on his hat.
26:35Goombario, could you do me a favor?
26:37I'd like a copy of those ancient texts you were transcribing.
26:41The ones written in the mystery language?
26:43Goombario felt a mix of pride and confusion.
26:47You want to be able to read these?
26:49Don't get me wrong, they're super cool, but this just looks like a mythic history of a
26:53mushroom kingdom.
26:54The myths are what interest me the most.
26:57My father taught me that every legend contains a grain of truth.
27:00It occurred to Goombario that Peach might just be trying to make him feel better.
27:05Don't you want me to help Goombella on the crown stuff?
27:08That's going to be way more important.
27:10Anyway, I can't read this stuff.
27:13Goombella shook her head.
27:14I can't read that language either, Goombario.
27:17But Koopa and I can read Old Shroomish.
27:20It makes sense.
27:21We concentrate on translating the Old Shroomish texts quickly, while you take the first stab
27:27at decoding the mystery language.
27:29If anything, you've got the harder job.
27:32Really?
27:33You think I can do it?
27:35Koopa clicked his tongue.
27:36Goombario, you can do anything you set your mind to.
27:39Right on, said Daisy, giving Koopa a fist bump.
27:43As Goombario felt the meaning of Koopa's words sink in, he looked at Goombella and
27:48suddenly saw her in a new light.
27:51He remembered the annoyance he felt when he realized Mario had replaced him with another
27:55Goomba.
27:56But now, she wasn't just Mario's other Goomba pal.
28:00She wasn't someone he had to outdo.
28:02She was a teammate.
28:03Let's-a-go, said Goombario.
28:06Everyone put their hands in a circle ready to cheer.
28:08Let's!
28:09With a furtive look at Litter-a-toad's ruler, they all finished the chant in a whisper.
28:14Let's-a-go!
28:16As the team finished their cheer, Peach insisted that everyone should get some rest after their
28:20long day.
28:21It was already past midnight.
28:23Without being asked, Mario escorted Peach safely to the hall that led to her bedchamber.
28:29It had been his silent custom since rescuing Princess Toadstool the very first time she
28:34was kidnapped by Bowser, before he and Peach were on a first-name basis.
28:39Peach felt the palpable silence of the castle.
28:42For years, she'd allowed Mario to make this quiet, gallant gesture.
28:46She'd never felt before that she had to say anything.
28:50It was as if saying,
28:52Thank you,
28:52would be too crude and clumsy recognition of his chivalry.
28:56But something about Bowser's words was haunting her.
28:59What had Bowser called it?
29:01The friendzone.
29:03Was Peach really taking advantage of Mario?
29:06How many times had he risked his life to help her, without expectation of a reward?
29:12Peach felt hot anger at Bowser, but when Mario caught her eye,
29:16she felt she couldn't simply say goodnight, as was their custom.
29:20Thank you, Mario, for everything you did today.
29:23Mario curled his lip.
29:25Don't thank me, Princess.
29:27Feels like I spent most of my time standing around the library,
29:31hoping our friends could figure something out.
29:34No, you deserve a thank you.
29:36You deserve so much more than a simple thank you.
29:39I'm sorry I don't say it more often.
29:41Mario removed his hat, and bowed his head.
29:44When you look at me and smile, you show me more gratitude than the words thank you could ever
29:48express.
29:50Goodnight, Princess.
29:51As she saw him turn away, Peach couldn't help but call out.
29:55I don't know why you help me, Mario.
29:58You're not a subject of the Mushroom Kingdom.
30:01Why do you do it?
30:02Mario froze, then turned back to look at her.
30:05Because it's the right thing to do.
30:08Even as she heard Mario's words warm her heart,
30:10she also heard Bowser's taunt echoing in her ears.
30:14Mario's words were so good, so true, so beautiful, that she felt unworthy of them.
30:21Peach felt like she had a peach pit in her stomach.
30:25After sharing a long longing glance,
30:27Peach and Mario finally turned and walked away from each other.
30:31Both muttered under their breath.
30:33We have to get that crown away from Bowser.
30:35We have to get that crown away from Bowser.
30:38Once the Bowser problem was taken care of,
30:40then they would finally have the time they needed to talk.
30:45The moment that Mario and Peach mentioned Bowser's name,
30:48Bowser sneezed in his her sleep and awoke, groggily.
30:51Oblivious to what was transpiring elsewhere in the castle,
30:54Bowser yawned and stretched,
30:56his her massive breasts flopping free in the cool air.
30:59That was strange.
31:00I dreamt I was trapped in the middle of a bizarre fanfiction
31:03written by an autistic woman with a thinly veiled spanking fetish.
31:07Only this one chapter kept going on and on
31:09with all this detailed lore about thronas and successions and junk.
31:12Ugh, so boring.
31:14Thank goodness it was just a dream.
31:16I can't wait to bust out of here and start kicking ass and taking names.
31:20It's gonna be so cool."
31:22With that, Bowsette flopped back onto his her pillow and fell soundly asleep.
31:27End of chapter 3
31:29Spanks for watching.
31:31If you enjoy my spanking stories, please like and subscribe.
31:35And consider sending me a tip on Ko-fi to buy me a coffee.
31:39You may spank it, once.