S01E05
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00So you're telling me Moneybags Mia has zero access to money right now?
00:04It's awful, isn't it?
00:05I'll be there cheering you on at your mum's gym.
00:09It's not a gym, Mia. It's a dojo.
00:11It's not really giving lesbian union, is it?
00:14Can you be more supportive?
00:17I saw Cleo with another woman.
00:19This is my actual life, Mia. It's not a vibe. It's my life.
00:25Where are you going?
00:26Well, I thought I could come to your house.
00:28My house?
00:30What do you want?
00:31Have you stopped taking your meds?
00:33Yeah, I have, but that has got nothing to do with you.
00:35Yeah? You're delusional. End of chat.
00:38Ella? Where is she? It's okay. It's okay.
00:40Can you come, please?
00:42I'm coming now, all right? I'm on my way.
00:44Okay, see you soon.
00:52You're pretty cool for a social worker, aren't you, Mr Lil Barney?
00:59Juice?
01:00Yes, please.
01:02Looks nice.
01:28Excuse me.
01:29No, no. It's a compliment to the chef.
01:34So, Ella, I hear it's your birthday soon, right?
01:36Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it is. Yes, it is.
01:41Yeah. Do you have any plans or...?
01:44We're just going to have a birthday party, right?
01:46Yeah.
01:47I'm going to have a birthday party.
01:49Do I get an invite?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Yeah, you can have an invite to my birthday party.
01:56I've got to get to school now, so, um...
02:02Bye.
02:06Bye.
02:07Bye.
02:10Make sure you slam the door hard. Yeah.
02:14So, Miss Sinclair, you've been looking after Ella since your mother,
02:18Chrissy Bernstein, checked into the mortuary.
02:21Yep, as a voluntary patient.
02:22Under Section 2.
02:25So, Mia, tell me a bit about yourself.
02:27My name's Mia. You know that already.
02:31I'm Scorpio.
02:33I've known Ella since she was a toddler.
02:37Maybe even before toddling.
02:42Do you have any history with drugs or alcohol, Mia?
02:44Might have a glass of champagne at Christmas.
02:48Drugs?
02:50Drugs?
02:51Drugs?
02:53Drugs?
02:56No.
03:00Work?
03:02I love work.
03:05Sorry, what field do you work in?
03:07Fashion.
03:08Doing?
03:09Wearing.
03:11Wearing.
03:11Fashion.
03:14Okay, great.
03:16Well, I'll get this process as soon as possible.
03:18Oh, I don't know if Chrissy updated you on this,
03:20but Ella is due to see her mother on her birthday.
03:24Oh, yeah, yeah, she told me.
03:25It's great news.
03:27Would you be at all opposed to me bringing her to the party?
03:31Opposed? No, the more the merrier.
03:34Cool, well, I'll get this all sent off,
03:36and we'll do the background checks,
03:37and, yeah, then we'll be sorted.
03:39The background checks?
03:41Yeah, just some checks on the...
03:43Background.
03:43Yeah.
03:45Yeah, straightforward stuff.
03:46Nothing to worry about.
03:47Yeah, not worried.
03:49Great.
03:56Okay, thank you.
03:57Thanks, man.
03:57All right, then.
04:17You all right, Mom?
04:46Oh, what now?
04:48Oh.
04:52Yeah.
04:55You found it.
04:58It was on top of the electric meter.
05:00You know, you hire stuff like only short people still.
05:05How are you?
05:06Me?
05:07Well, I'm a mum now.
05:10Muscle tough.
05:12And because you told me, fuck all,
05:15I'm now organising a birthday party for a 15-year-old,
05:19which I agreed to, in front of her social worker.
05:22Now it's going to be like a reunion for her and her mum,
05:25a.k.a. fucking Skaggy Squirrel.
05:28Who would've thought?
05:32Nurse gave me that.
05:34She says it's better than Yakult.
05:35It's like probiotics, good bacteria.
05:39Do you want to have a probiotics, Mum?
05:41Mm.
05:43Listen, I need to tell you something.
05:46Yeah?
05:46What do you need to tell me now?
05:50It's about your identity.
05:53Wow, there's billions of good bacteria in here.
05:56Well, fucking open it, then.
05:57Mum, can we stick to one topic?
05:59What about my identity?
06:01Um, yeah.
06:02So, I've been using your name.
06:08What do you mean, using my name?
06:11Well...
06:15For what?
06:19I said, what do you mean, using my name?
06:25I said, using my name?
06:27For what?
06:31Bukkake.
06:33Well, I thought you was never coming back,
06:35so why waste good credit?
06:37But it turns out yours is worse than mine, so...
06:40What?
06:41The fuck?
06:42I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
06:44Ah, I'm going, yeah?
06:46You can all suck out!
06:50You think I'm fucking staying here with you lot?
06:53You ain't got a fucking marble between you, yeah?
06:56You know why?
06:57Because you're all fucking mad!
07:04Where am I going to put the...
07:05Keep them by the light, that's where they're happiest.
07:08Nope.
07:09Well, you're the one who's...
07:10Oi, you can't just be moving Miss Lily like that,
07:12you're traumatising her.
07:14Mum, I just need to deep clean everything,
07:16because it just smells of body juice.
07:19It's a dojo.
07:20I know, but I also want it to be the perfect wedding venue.
07:24Please!
07:25It won't be, but it will be very special
07:27once we spruced it up a bit, all right?
07:32What am I... I mean...
07:34Let me help you, because you're just scuffing the floor.
07:37Okay!
07:38Oh, Teddy!
07:40Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
07:47that saved a wretch like me!
07:57Thank you, Teddy, that was lovely.
07:59No, no, thank you for all you do in uplifting the community.
08:03I see all, Grace.
08:06I see all.
08:07Hi, Mr Sinclair.
08:09Joey, you still a lesbian?
08:11Yeah.
08:12Good, that's what I like to hear, keep up the good work.
08:15It's good to see you, Ted.
08:17Now you see me.
08:20Now you don't.
08:22Bless.
08:25Keep up the good work?
08:27What was he like before that?
08:31Before he had Mia?
08:34Sexy as all hell.
08:35Mum!
08:38Everybody loved Teddy back then.
08:41He had the best collection of vinyls.
08:43Yeah?
08:44Impossible to have a party without Teddy.
08:46What do you think happened?
08:48Not one specific thing.
08:50A succession of tragic events.
08:53When you know society doesn't care about you,
08:55you stop caring about being a part of society.
08:59I mean, I'm sure Mia felt it growing up.
09:02But, woo, Teddy back in the day, boy!
09:07Mum, you didn't...
09:09No, but I tried.
09:18And is Mia coming to the wedding?
09:20I don't know, Mum.
09:21She said she would.
09:22But you know Mia.
09:24Now you see me.
09:26Now you don't.
09:37Thanks for coming.
09:40Anytime.
09:41So good to see you.
09:43Yeah, no, listen, let me explain.
09:45Because you were trying to be nice, right?
09:47But what I didn't know then,
09:48but what I was about to find out,
09:50was my mum was on the verge of a breakdown.
09:53And then I thought I was going to come back to England
09:55and, like, reinvent myself.
09:56But it turns out my mum beat me to it.
09:58And then by some stroke of Babylon,
10:02I end up being a single mum to a 14-year-old child
10:04who thinks I'm a dickhead.
10:10Carry on.
10:13It's nice to see you again.
10:15I've missed you.
10:20So not what you thought I was?
10:22Well, what did you think I thought you were?
10:25Like an international, self-employed,
10:28successful businesswoman.
10:30Well, I didn't think that.
10:34So what did you think?
10:36I just thought you were a laugh.
10:39And I enjoyed being in your company.
10:42Oh.
10:48So what's this girl like then?
10:53She's amazing.
10:56Considering.
10:57Well, I think you'll be good for each other.
11:01Make a great mum.
11:02Good one.
11:03You know, I've actually got to organise a party
11:06because it's her birthday next week.
11:08And I am a rogue.
11:10How do you throw a party with fuck all?
11:13I literally don't know where to start.
11:15Well, I'd love to help you.
11:20Really?
11:21Of course.
11:24Give me whatever you need.
11:30Thanks for coming to give me a lift.
11:34I don't know.
11:35And thank you.
11:37I just had, like, hard to ask for help.
11:40No worries.
11:42Yeah?
11:42Yeah.
11:44Oh, this is, this is me.
11:48Is this your car?
11:50Yeah.
11:51Oh.
11:52Well, what about your other car?
11:54I was a rental for work.
11:56Company car.
11:57Oh, right.
12:00So you were staying in the hotel?
12:02For work.
12:03For work.
12:04Yeah.
12:05And a bit of pleasure.
12:08Right.
12:13Oh, thank you.
12:14No worries.
12:33Mr. Lewani said that your mum's going to come and visit on your birthday.
12:37That's exciting, right?
12:38You've met my mum, yeah?
12:41Yeah, in passing.
12:43So would you be excited?
12:45I don't think she's coming to try and ruin your birthday.
12:47And you're not going to be alone.
12:50You've got me.
12:53You don't even know how to boil an egg.
12:55Well, when does the three minutes start?
12:57Who knows, right?
12:58I don't know.
12:59I don't know.
12:59I don't know.
13:00I don't know.
13:01I don't know.
13:01Who knows, right?
13:03Is it three minutes from when the egg goes in the water and it's boiling?
13:07Or just from when it goes in the water?
13:15So can I actually have a birthday party then?
13:18Yeah.
13:20Within reason.
13:22I've never had one before, so I don't have anything to compare it to.
13:26Okay.
13:28What are you thinking?
13:30I don't know.
13:32Some friends.
13:35Some pizza.
13:36Some music.
13:38Okay.
13:39That sounds doable.
13:41Yeah, it'll be nice.
13:45Right.
13:51How did it go?
13:52Yeah, it went all right.
13:54We're just going to do a regular kids party.
13:56You know, no frills.
13:59Nothing fancy.
14:01Just the basics.
14:02It doesn't matter.
14:03It's the thought that counts.
14:06Yeah.
14:08Yes.
14:09It's the thought that counts.
14:24Mia?
14:25It's me, Shaz.
14:27Shaz!
14:28Oh my god!
14:30Wow!
14:30How long has it been?
14:3120?
14:3125 years?
14:33At least!
14:33Yeah, how's things?
14:35Yeah, good.
14:36Good.
14:37Yeah.
14:37How about you?
14:39Not dead yet.
14:40Right.
14:41Nice to see you.
14:42Yeah, nice to see you too.
15:00Excuse me.
15:07Yeah?
15:07Can you empty your pockets, please?
15:09What? No.
15:10We've seen you on camera.
15:12Yeah?
15:13Oh my god.
15:15It's me.
15:16Yes, madam.
15:17We've seen you on CCTV.
15:18It's actually me.
15:19Do you know what this means?
15:20Well, you can either return the stolen items or we can call the police.
15:26It means I'm back!
15:28Have that.
15:28Treat yourself, babes.
15:29I'm all right, actually.
15:31Oh my!
15:31Hey, Shaz!
15:33Shaz!
15:34I'm back!
15:35It's me!
15:36Yeah!
15:37Hey!
15:37Oh, mate!
15:39Nice!
15:40Nice!
15:42Hey!
15:42Wicked, man.
15:45No bad feelings, yeah?
15:46Nice one, all right.
15:54Hello.
15:55Mills?
15:57What?
15:58Anna Wintour's on the line.
16:00Back.
16:01Anna Wintour?
16:02What, we'll fucking put her through?
16:06Anna, it's so great to hear from you.
16:08Yeah, I bet it fucking is.
16:11Who is this?
16:13It's me.
16:13Did you get the picture I just sent?
16:15Hang on.
16:18I didn't know you could roll a blade.
16:19You should have put that on your list of special skills.
16:22Where did you see this?
16:24In the discount store today.
16:26You were in a pound shop today?
16:28Oh, darling.
16:29Listen, that was meant to be one year's worldwide usage in 2018,
16:34which means they owe me moolah.
16:38Absolutely.
16:39Leave it with me.
16:39I'll have to pull up the old contract and...
16:42But just, yeah, I'm on it.
16:44Leave it with you?
16:44Are you high?
16:45Not high.
16:46I don't get high.
16:48Listen, I'm on my way into the office.
16:49I want a cash advance now.
16:52What do you think this is?
16:54The noughties?
16:55Get your ass to the bank, Millie boy.
16:58Because if you don't,
16:59I am going to call every news outlet in the country
17:02and let them know that you're a nonce
17:04who's part of a child sex trafficking ring.
17:06All right?
17:07Yeah? You got that?
17:08All right, babe.
17:09Bye.
17:11Hello?
17:12Mia?
17:13Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:15When was the last time these walls had a lick of paint?
17:20You're cheeky in life.
17:21I know, but still, when?
17:23You just stick to your shiny undercoat.
17:26Coat's a coat, mum. Coat's a coat.
17:29Do you find the bowls you want and then break them?
17:31Or do they have to already be broken?
17:33The point with kintsugi is to take something that's already broken
17:37and then break it again.
17:39It's like, I don't know,
17:40I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it again.
17:42I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it again.
17:44To take something that's already broken
17:46and make it stronger and more beautiful.
17:51But yeah, sometimes I just wish that.
17:55I'm thinking of taking this one to Mia.
17:58Are you still reasserting your boundaries with her?
18:02Yeah.
18:04So you're not going to come to Ella's party then?
18:06Who's Ella?
18:07The girl Mia's looking after.
18:09What?
18:10Chris is in the Maudsley. I thought you knew.
18:12No.
18:14I didn't.
18:14I'm sure she'd love to see you.
18:16Looks like you've got lots to catch up on.
18:19Like?
18:20I'm guessing you didn't tell her
18:21things have been a bit bumpy with you and Cleo.
18:24They're not bumpy with Cleo.
18:25That was just a misunderstanding.
18:27I always thought it'd be you and Mia who got married.
18:29Mum, not every female friend I have needs to be a potential wife.
18:33Keep your knickers on.
18:35Yeah, exactly.
18:36I'm just saying.
18:38Well, good for her.
18:39Sounds like she's really getting herself together.
18:42Mm-hmm.
18:45Wow.
18:47This is a lot.
18:50Please tell me you are not eating chicken and chips.
18:52Not after I ordered 30 pizzas.
18:54We were hungry.
18:55Yeah, that's what I want.
18:56You and all your mates to be hungry.
18:58Starving, famished, faint.
18:59Gagged.
19:00She said starving.
19:01She said famished.
19:01No, no, my girl said faint.
19:03Yes, she did.
19:04Is this yours?
19:06And is that a black holed handbag?
19:08Yes, I brought it today.
19:10Ella, who is this?
19:11Their name is Leo.
19:12She's giving festive fans chic.
19:15I'm obsessed.
19:17All right, can you look?
19:17Just hurry up and get ready.
19:19I'm ready.
19:19Please, ready for what?
19:21This isn't just a pizza party.
19:22I've gone big.
19:24Go.
19:25We were just wondering, can we have balloons tonight?
19:28Yeah, you can have balloons.
19:29You can have party poppers, streamers, whatever you want.
19:31Just go, go, go, go, go.
19:32Come on.
19:38All right, mum.
19:39Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
19:41How's it going?
19:42Do you know what?
19:43It's a shame I never had a party as a kid,
19:45because I am absolutely crushing it.
19:47It's my true calling.
19:48Oh, fantastic, Mia.
19:51Ella is ecstatic.
19:52All right, she's bouncing around like she's just double dropped.
19:55Obviously, she hasn't.
19:57I'm taking good care of her.
19:58That's amazing, darling.
20:00She means a lot to me.
20:02Yes, I know.
20:03Oh, and David's here.
20:04Remember him, the rabbi's brother?
20:06He's like a roving paparazzi.
20:08Paparazzi?
20:09A community hall?
20:10Is this party for Ella or for you?
20:12I hope you're not burning money just for the sake of it.
20:14What, all of a sudden you're invested in my finances?
20:17All right, mum, drop me up.
20:18I'll chat to you later, yeah?
20:21You OK?
20:22I'm great.
20:24There are a lot of people asking for cash.
20:27OK, yeah, I got it.
20:28Oh, nice bag.
20:31Looks expensive.
20:32It is.
20:33The tuk-tuk driver needs pay,
20:34and the DJ wants her money up front,
20:36and the lighting guy says,
20:37if you want the anti-epilepsy strobes,
20:39you're going to need the LED bulbs,
20:41which you can only get from Tower Hamlets,
20:42which does mean put in the minimum.
20:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:44Cool, cool, cool, cool.
20:45There you go.
20:46That's a lot.
20:47Yeah.
20:48Well, I'll go pay them.
20:50Innit?
20:51Treat yourself.
20:54Hey, this is proper moody.
20:56I like it.
20:57It's the vibe.
20:58Thanks, Mia.
20:59No one's ever done anything like this for me before.
21:01It has been an honour and a privilege
21:04to share this day with you, all right?
21:07Now, go and have the best party ever.
21:10All right, I'm going to see you on the other side.
21:11Yeah?
21:12All right.
21:14She's so cool.
21:25Everybody, welcome the birthday girl.
21:28And Leo.
21:30And Leo.
21:34Wow.
21:36Thank you for coming.
21:39You made it.
21:41I could miss whatever the fuck this is.
21:44I got you this.
21:48Wait, did you make this?
21:49It's called kintsukuroi.
21:50Rather than covering up the breaks,
21:52you make something more interesting.
21:55Look at mumsy.
21:56Wow.
21:57Would you keep this till the end?
21:59Because the kids, I don't want to break it again.
22:02She's amazing.
22:03You lot coming in?
22:04Yeah.
22:06Mum, this is too many.
22:09Hi, I'm David.
22:11Oh, that David.
22:12Hi.
22:14Are we going?
22:15Yes, off you go.
22:17See you in there.
22:25I like your outfit.
22:27I feel underdressed.
22:29No, it's cute.
22:31Wow, that is a bag.
22:33What, this?
22:34Uh-huh.
22:36Um...
22:38Hey, listen, about the last time we saw each other...
22:41Mia, I spoke to her.
22:42It's not what you thought.
22:43She's just a friend.
22:46Okay.
22:47All right.
22:48Yeah, I won't mention it again then.
22:50Look at you, though.
22:52It's only been a couple of weeks
22:53and you've got a man, you've got a kid,
22:55got a new career as a party planner.
22:58It's good, innit?
22:59It's very you.
23:01Yeah?
23:02Like how?
23:03It's just some party.
23:04Hey!
23:05It's nothing, babes.
23:07Do you know what I mean?
23:07I keep on saying to Ella, I'm like,
23:09look, it's really important that we mark the occasion.
23:12Do you know what I mean?
23:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:13You know Tracy, Ella's mum?
23:16Fucking hell.
23:18You look well.
23:19Well, I'm clean and serene.
23:21Yeah?
23:21Well, it suits you.
23:23So, uh, where can we find the birthday girl?
23:26I don't know.
23:27Actually, hey, have you seen Ella?
23:29Oh, I think she's through there.
23:30Oh, perfect.
23:31Come, come, come, come.
23:35Hey, there you are.
23:40Whoa!
23:45They're doing balloons.
23:46What? What balloons?
23:48Are you sick? Is she sick?
23:51Jo, what's she talking about?
23:52They're like poppers, sort of.
23:55They're kiddie crack.
23:57Since when?
23:58Where have you come from?
23:59New York, babes, all right?
24:01Where people are doing like fentanyl,
24:02and like cocaine, and opioids.
24:04They haven't yet moved on to the craze of,
24:06what, huffing balloons?
24:07Yeah, this is grossly inappropriate.
24:09Why don't we just speak privately for a moment?
24:11No, you can talk to me right here.
24:13Okay, well, Ella won't be coming back with you today.
24:16What, because I don't know what balloons are?
24:18Well, we're in the rest mate.
24:19You're not fooling anyone.
24:21You know what, skaggy squirrel,
24:22you need to shut your mouth.
24:23What are you talking about?
24:24Wait, wait, wait.
24:25Mr. Llewellyn, you cannot be serious, all right?
24:28Ella is doing great at school.
24:30My mum's going to be out of hospital soon,
24:31and then everything's going to go back to normal.
24:33Look, some major discrepancies
24:34have been brought to our attention.
24:36From who?
24:38Mia, if we could please speak privately,
24:39I can bring you-
24:40No, you can talk to me right here, bruv.
24:44Mia, we have no proof of employment.
24:46There is a massive debt against your name,
24:48and there's no fixed address.
24:49You barely exist.
24:50What am I?
24:51Am I a figment of your imagination or something then?
24:54And your name also flagged up in an international system.
24:58Which I could continue on about, but-
25:01No, you're all right.
25:02I'm not sure it was on now.
25:03Yeah, no, you're good to go.
25:04Okay.
25:05For God's sake.
25:05Don't touch me!
25:11Well, that shut you up.
25:27Oh, this was a good party.
25:41It was.
25:47Tried my best.
25:49Yeah, you tried your best.