Sam and Janet Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00My parents always told me to try and help people.
00:00:28I figured the best way to do that was to become Superman.
00:00:31I found out early on that wasn't going to happen.
00:00:33So I went to college, got married, and became a middle school counselor in Oklahoma City.
00:00:38The job worked. The marriage didn't.
00:00:41Let me give you some advice from a counselor.
00:00:43If you're going to get married, you need to be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
00:00:48Maybe that's what she was looking for.
00:00:51I was just never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:01:51Divorce granted.
00:02:19I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:02:33I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:03:00I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:03:10I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:03:17I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:03:45I was never able to make the Superman thing happen.
00:04:02Let me put this in terms you can understand.
00:04:05More sex.
00:04:08You probably still have some ass before your marriage toward the freezer.
00:04:11Yeah, just thought it out.
00:04:13That's what I'd do if I had any ass in the freezer.
00:04:16Take a look around you at all the hot chicks in here.
00:04:19You work at a school?
00:04:20I'll be at a public school.
00:04:21Do the math.
00:04:22It's like a chick buffet.
00:04:24You got your white meat, your dark meat, lots of protein.
00:04:28Evan, it's clear our boy here doesn't like the menu.
00:04:33We're going to have to go to a nicer buffet.
00:04:36Perhaps a smorgasbord?
00:04:38Ah, different species.
00:04:40No.
00:04:41All you can eat.
00:04:42No.
00:04:43Hey, no.
00:04:45Get out of here.
00:04:46Go see the dancer.
00:04:47Yeah, make it soul number one.
00:04:49No.
00:04:50Gentlemen, we have a special guest with us tonight.
00:04:54He's just finalized his divorce.
00:04:57Let's hear it for Sam Evans.
00:05:00And what did you expect to see, Sam?
00:05:04Bunch up.
00:05:05I don't be ashamed.
00:05:07Cause being bottom girl got all the game.
00:05:09Bunch up.
00:05:10Thank you, guys.
00:05:11They call it double bubble.
00:05:12Well, double bubble, I might be in trouble.
00:05:15Bunch up.
00:05:16That's the name of the game.
00:05:18I'm Sam.
00:05:19Evan.
00:05:21I'm never getting married again.
00:05:35I have a really good picture of why she should try it.
00:05:40I'm glad you suggested it.
00:05:42I told his cheating ass to shut the hell up.
00:05:44He was going to wake up the baby.
00:05:46He called me a bitch.
00:05:47Yeah, I know.
00:05:49I went upside his head with my fist.
00:05:51Yeah, I know.
00:05:53If he wants that bitch, he can have her.
00:05:55You know.
00:05:56Oh, hang on just a second.
00:05:58Hi.
00:05:59Would you guys like smoking or not?
00:06:00Not.
00:06:01Okay.
00:06:02So you're Dustin's girlfriend?
00:06:03Yeah.
00:06:04How did you know?
00:06:05You guys know each other?
00:06:06He told me where you worked.
00:06:08I can see why he kicked your ass out.
00:06:10Obviously.
00:06:11And another thing.
00:06:12If you want to call me a bitch, then say it to my face.
00:06:15Here we go.
00:06:16Get off of me, you stupid.
00:06:19Get down.
00:06:21Get off.
00:06:22Get up.
00:06:23Now.
00:06:24You got that?
00:06:29Hey.
00:06:34Hey.
00:06:49I'll never go to a bar with a guy on a date on a Saturday.
00:06:52If you go to a crowded bar on a Saturday and there's a cuter guy there, total upgrade.
00:06:58I dated a baseball player once.
00:07:00Lipo or vacation.
00:07:03His name's Clint.
00:07:04My ex-boyfriend thought I was psycho.
00:07:06Back that.
00:07:07You know.
00:07:09And then the upgrades kind of pegged me with having this loser boyfriend.
00:07:13Started dating a guy named Richard, who I had dated before I dated Clint.
00:07:17Truth is, all girls are psycho.
00:07:19Ass.
00:07:22My ex-boyfriend Russ, who I had dated before any of these guys except for Adam.
00:07:27Drive by your house late at night.
00:07:29So I just go on first dates on Sundays.
00:07:31If I get lipo, it's going to take away all my vacation money.
00:07:35I was dating somebody when I met him.
00:07:37Who was I dating when I met him?
00:07:39Log on to internet for your profile.
00:07:41But I'm not going to go on vacation without lipo.
00:07:45Every time I saw him, he had a different girl around.
00:07:47But I'm not like that.
00:07:53Have you seen the dessert menu?
00:07:55That way, if the guy turns out to be a total geek, I can so get out of it earlier.
00:07:59You can always do the whole, oh god, I have to get up and go to work early tomorrow.
00:08:03That routine.
00:08:05Yeah.
00:08:06All I'm trying to say is, if you need an upgrade, it's just meant to be.
00:08:10You believe in destiny, don't you, Sam?
00:08:12Yeah. Yeah, I do.
00:08:14Well, we better run. I got to get up for work early tomorrow.
00:08:18You know how Mondays can be.
00:08:27Oh, hi Sam.
00:08:29Hey, Sharon.
00:08:30How are you?
00:08:33Uh, I'm good.
00:08:34Oh, good.
00:08:37Yeah, I have a student, so I'm gonna...
00:08:40Oh, right, yeah, I've got to teach class.
00:08:44Listen, maybe I'll see you in the teacher's lounge later?
00:08:49See how this one's taller than this one? I hate that.
00:08:51That's why I wear this one. The whole horizontal thing.
00:08:54It makes it look shorter. Don't you think?
00:08:56And this one is seasonal, because the iguana comes out in the summer.
00:09:00And this one...
00:09:08Hey, Sam.
00:09:09How are you?
00:09:10Good.
00:09:11You're good to go, my friend.
00:09:12Thank you, sir.
00:09:13Have a good workout.
00:09:27I need a spot.
00:09:29Thanks.
00:09:31No problem.
00:09:56I need a spot.
00:10:16Need a spot?
00:10:17Need a spot?
00:10:35Mr. Eadney?
00:10:36Yeah.
00:10:39Hey, Darian, Melanie.
00:10:41What's going on?
00:10:42What's with the water treatment?
00:10:45Just getting a drink.
00:10:48Well, I'll see you later.
00:10:50I know today's not a regular session, but can I talk to you about boys?
00:10:54All boys want to have sex.
00:10:56I walk down the hall and it's just like...
00:10:57Wait, wait, wait.
00:10:58What boys?
00:10:59All of them.
00:11:00I want boys to like me and stuff, but I don't think I should have sex until I'm...
00:11:04You're older.
00:11:06No.
00:11:07Until I'm in love.
00:11:08You know, really in love with someone.
00:11:11Well, I think that sounds like a good idea.
00:11:14But they don't care about love.
00:11:16They're missing out on the greatest feeling in life.
00:11:20That's why I think they're stupid.
00:11:24Well, I'm not going to argue with you there.
00:11:27Look, I'll tell you what.
00:11:28Will you do me a favor?
00:11:31Will you come talk to me before you fall in love?
00:11:34I can't.
00:11:35I won't know.
00:11:36It just happens.
00:11:37Right, but if you start feeling like it's happening, will you come talk to me?
00:11:43Mr. Evening, don't be stupid.
00:11:45I'm not old enough to fall in love.
00:11:47I have to go to class.
00:11:48Thanks for talking to me again.
00:11:50Okay, well, hey, my door's open anytime, so come by and...
00:11:55Hey, don't listen to what those boys say.
00:11:57Boys are...
00:11:59They're stupid.
00:12:07Bye.
00:12:16Bye.
00:12:38Great band.
00:12:49You going to the concert?
00:12:51You're going?
00:12:52Take care.
00:13:08Most magazines recommend 100 grams of protein a day.
00:13:11I personally like to take in about 200 grams before noon,
00:13:15because I don't know where my next bar or shake's going to come from,
00:13:18and I've got to stay up until 10.30.
00:13:20Now, the reason...
00:13:21Were you asking about Molly's, yes?
00:13:24Uh, yeah.
00:13:25Yeah, I love them.
00:13:26Yeah, they're playing in Bricktown next month.
00:13:28I heard on the radio.
00:13:29You going?
00:13:31Sold out.
00:13:33I'm Sam.
00:13:34Evening.
00:13:35Evening.
00:13:36No evening is, uh...
00:13:37It's my last name.
00:13:38No, it's just a joke.
00:13:40Sorry, I'm Janet Clark.
00:13:42I've actually heard about you.
00:13:44Really?
00:13:45A girl in aerobics class pointed you out the other day.
00:13:47Who?
00:13:48Her name was April.
00:13:49Oh, April.
00:13:50Yeah.
00:13:51Yeah.
00:13:52I don't know her.
00:13:53She was just next to me and started talking.
00:13:55April.
00:13:56Talking.
00:13:57She said you two went out a couple of Sundays ago.
00:13:59Girlfriend?
00:14:00Oh, no, it was, uh, just a date.
00:14:02A Sunday date.
00:14:03You know, the kind you can get out of if you have to.
00:14:05I've been on a few of those.
00:14:07Well, I should get going, so...
00:14:10Yeah, me too.
00:14:11It was nice meeting you, though.
00:14:12Yeah, you too.
00:14:23So how goes the hunt?
00:14:25Who's hunting?
00:14:26Sam.
00:14:27Sam saw a lovely doe at the gender day.
00:14:30He hasn't quite been able to strap to the hood of his car yet.
00:14:33Uh-oh.
00:14:34Shields are down.
00:14:36What?
00:14:37Parker, have you been bird-dogging for Sam down at the gym again?
00:14:40I spot him, go up, sniff around him, then pointed him like a setter.
00:14:47So, Sam, who's the girl?
00:14:49She's different.
00:14:50She's a chick.
00:14:51No, no, no.
00:14:52She's different.
00:14:53He got nervous.
00:14:55Nervous?
00:14:56I don't know.
00:14:57Something.
00:14:58She snuck up behind him.
00:14:59He wasn't planning on engaging the enemy quite yet.
00:15:01Just some reconnaissance.
00:15:03Stealth attack.
00:15:04Very similar to the old Klingon cloaking device.
00:15:06Look, I talked to her for a second.
00:15:08It was no big deal.
00:15:09A wise man once said, when a man doesn't give details, he's hiding something.
00:15:14Who said that?
00:15:15Me.
00:15:17She said she had to go before I did.
00:15:19I was just about to say it, and then, boom, she said it.
00:15:22That's a hard one to master, when you say gotta go.
00:15:25Because if you say gotta go too quick, you're not getting enough information from her.
00:15:30And she's going to think you're not interested in her.
00:15:33If you wait just a little longer.
00:15:34It's like baseball.
00:15:35If you wait too long to swing so you can see what the pitch is, you're going to strike out every time.
00:15:41You're smarter than Bob Costas.
00:15:43Who are you, John Gray?
00:15:45Who?
00:15:46Who?
00:15:47Who?
00:15:49Books.
00:15:51Mars, Venus.
00:15:53Does anybody read?
00:15:55All right, look, it's not like it matters, because I'm not ever going to talk to her again anyway, okay?
00:16:00True.
00:16:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:02Never, ever, ever.
00:16:06I was just about to say it.
00:16:10Get away from me, freak.
00:16:12Come on, Darian, you've been on that way too long.
00:16:15How about a kiss?
00:16:16The word no would get through that gel.
00:16:18You're going to give it up, one way or another.
00:16:20Stop it, you oily perv.
00:16:21Hey, ladies men.
00:16:23Think you're about due for an oil change, huh?
00:16:29I am fire.
00:16:32You are ice.
00:16:35I am fire.
00:16:39Why are you always waiting?
00:16:42I feel you hesitating.
00:16:46You are ice.
00:16:49I am fire.
00:16:52Okay.
00:16:53I want to sing about it.
00:16:56Show them.
00:16:58What if on sing about it, we went up a third?
00:17:01Okay, Natalie, can you do the hook for me one more time?
00:17:03It's been around for a long time.
00:17:09I want to shout it.
00:17:12I want to sing about it.
00:17:15Show them what we've done.
00:17:21There's no one I'd rather spend my days with.
00:17:27I mean, that's that girl.
00:17:31Blondie from the gym.
00:17:33Oh, that's her.
00:17:35And her friend.
00:17:37Wait, wait, wait.
00:17:38What?
00:17:39Don't worry, I'm not going to make any sudden moves.
00:17:40Not until we know their strategy.
00:17:42I can't remember her name.
00:17:44That's Janet.
00:17:45She comes in here every now and then.
00:17:47That's it.
00:17:48Janet.
00:17:49Shuttle.
00:17:50Shuttle.
00:17:51Hey, you guys want some tater babies?
00:17:54No thanks, Park.
00:17:55You go ahead.
00:17:56Suit yourself.
00:17:57Do we go over there?
00:17:58Uh, no.
00:17:59We shouldn't go over there.
00:18:01Set up a tracker beam and let them come to us.
00:18:03Do what?
00:18:05Take them some tater babies.
00:18:07Oh, yeah, Park, that should attract them.
00:18:09Hey, ladies, you look hungry.
00:18:10How about some greasy, fattening, half-baked potatoes?
00:18:13Hey, hey.
00:18:14They're twice baked.
00:18:16Sorry.
00:18:17Plus, baked potatoes are very healthy, Sam.
00:18:22Let's do it.
00:18:26Hey, Sam Evening.
00:18:28Hey, Janet.
00:18:33Great.
00:18:34First tracker beam.
00:18:37Hey, come join us.
00:18:38We just ordered some tater babies.
00:18:40I love those.
00:18:41Yeah, me too.
00:18:42Uh, Janet, this is Evan.
00:18:44He's a counselor with me.
00:18:45Hey, Evan.
00:18:46Nice to meet you.
00:18:47Uh, Evan, this is Susan.
00:18:48Hey, I'm Susan.
00:18:49This is Sam.
00:18:50Sam Evening.
00:18:51Evening.
00:18:52No, I was asking.
00:18:53Oh, it's a joke.
00:18:54Yeah, it's my last name.
00:18:56Hey, you guys grab a seat.
00:18:58Um, does your friend want to join us?
00:19:00Uh, no.
00:19:01So you guys are counselors, huh?
00:19:03Yeah, yeah, we work with some really great kids over at Cherokee Hills Middle School.
00:19:06Oh, that's great.
00:19:07Shaping the minds of our youth.
00:19:09Yeah, yeah, something like that.
00:19:11How about you?
00:19:12We're producers at the Jungle Room Recording Studios.
00:19:15Janet here's the Big Shot EP.
00:19:17Really?
00:19:18Guys, I hate to eat and run, but I gotta hit the gym.
00:19:22Uh, Janet, Susan, this is Parker.
00:19:24Hi.
00:19:25Hey, Parker.
00:19:26You know, you are the only guy at the gym that carries snacks in his workout bag.
00:19:29She notices the snacks, but not the fact I'm slinging 260.
00:19:33Um, not snacks so much, really.
00:19:35More low-sodium potato chips.
00:19:37Carbs, workout.
00:19:39I'm sure you've read about that.
00:19:41Well, I love a guy who loves to eat.
00:19:43I steal another heart.
00:19:47Ladies.
00:19:48Sam.
00:19:49See you at the gym?
00:19:50See you there, Parker.
00:19:52Well, we should get going, too.
00:19:54Got an early start tomorrow.
00:19:56Yeah, yeah, I guess I should head to the gym, but it's good to see you again.
00:20:00Yeah, good to see you, too.
00:20:02Evan, it was nice to meet you.
00:20:03Oh, hey, maybe we'll see you in here again.
00:20:05Cool.
00:20:06Take care.
00:20:07You, too.
00:20:08Bye.
00:20:09Bye.
00:20:11Did you just give her a Star Trek sign?
00:20:13It's not the Star Trek sign.
00:20:15It means live long and prosper.
00:20:17What was that split-finger thing he just did?
00:20:19It's from Star Trek.
00:20:21Really?
00:20:22Oh, that's right.
00:20:24You used to watch that, didn't you?
00:20:25Yeah.
00:20:26We were just getting comfortable up there.
00:20:28Do you remember the other night?
00:20:29It's better to we gotta go first.
00:20:35True.
00:20:39Okay, yeah, you're right.
00:20:40Good move.
00:20:41He's kind of cute, huh?
00:20:42Yeah.
00:20:43They all start out cute.
00:20:44Working out, pretending to like the same bands.
00:20:47Hey, what time is it?
00:20:49Voyager's on tonight.
00:20:51You still watch that?
00:20:53Sometimes I do.
00:20:55You know, I mean, uh-huh.
00:20:58No, that's cool.
00:20:59I need to go work out anyway.
00:21:01Uh-huh.
00:21:13Uh-huh.
00:21:43Come in.
00:21:44Hi, Mr. Evening.
00:21:45Hey, Darian.
00:21:46How are you?
00:21:47Come in.
00:21:48Have a seat.
00:21:49Been having any more problems from, uh, what's-his-name?
00:21:50Who?
00:21:51Crisco Kid?
00:21:52Yeah, Crisco Kid.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:54Yeah.
00:21:55Yeah.
00:21:56Yeah.
00:21:57Yeah.
00:21:58Yeah.
00:21:59Yeah.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:01Yeah.
00:22:02Yeah.
00:22:03Yeah.
00:22:04Yeah.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:07Yeah.
00:22:08Yeah.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Yeah.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12All right.
00:22:13It's good.
00:22:14No...
00:22:15Well, that's good.
00:22:16Let me know if he, uh, gives you any more problems.
00:22:17No, I will.
00:22:18Don't worry.
00:22:19He's one of those guys that reminds me of my dad.
00:22:20Sex, sex, sex.
00:22:21With whoever and wherever.
00:22:22Sex doesn't last forever, like love.
00:22:23You think love lasts forever?
00:22:24Well, yeah.
00:22:25Even if one of them dies and they really, truly love each other, they're still together,
00:22:26you know, in their hearts.
00:22:27Like my grandma.
00:22:28She's totally still hot for my grandpa, even though he died, like, five years ago.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Yeah.
00:22:31Yeah.
00:22:32Yeah.
00:22:33Yeah.
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:35Yeah.
00:22:36Yeah.
00:22:37Yeah.
00:22:38Yeah.
00:22:39still hot for my grandpa even though he died like five years ago. She's not even interested
00:22:44in other guys. Is that right? Well, she will go to Luby's with Mr. Farley, but that's just
00:22:48so he'll mow the yard. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal to me. I can't wait to
00:22:54be in love. Why? Because I want that look my grandma has when she talks about grandpa.
00:23:01Well, I gotta go, Mr. Evening. Thanks for talking to me again. You're welcome, Darian.
00:23:05Always enjoy our sessions together.
00:23:09So tell me, how do you win these tickets again?
00:23:38Hey, Sam. Hey, Evan, how have you been? Great, yeah? Working a lot. So did you come here
00:23:51with, um... Janet? Yeah. Yeah, she's with the band. You're kidding me. Wow, I had no
00:23:57idea this was one of her bands. Uh-huh. Talking about me behind my back? Hey. Hey. Hey, Evan.
00:24:02I saw you two from the side of the stage. If y'all are here to pick up chicks, this
00:24:06is the night. Really? Yeah, this band really pulls them in. I came to see the band. Only.
00:24:12No chicks tonight, just, uh... We're just strictly groupies. Groupies. Well, cool. I'll
00:24:18talk to the guys. Well, look, we gotta get going. They're about to come back on us. Well,
00:24:24say, are you gonna be around after the show? Yeah, probably. Uh, yeah, probably, you know,
00:24:30unless some chicks drag us out of here or something. Well, you're here after the show.
00:24:34Sounds good.
00:24:42What was I thinking? I'd hate to even venture a guess. If the planets were in perfect alignment
00:24:48and you were to marry Janet... Evan, it's tough love, but I'm gonna have to put you in rehab.
00:24:54Your names would be Sam and Janet Evening, like the song. I know. You know? Aha,
00:25:00so busted! So you've thought about this? Not about marriage, just about the whole name song thing.
00:25:06Shut up.
00:25:30So we're at the grocery store the other night and there's this guy standing in front of us.
00:25:48Who is clearly over the 10-item limit. Yeah, clearly. He had at least 10 of those meat
00:25:53bucket things. Not to mention the other crap. Cuba beer. And he had some of that, you know,
00:25:58the lunch meat that's got the fat around the borders? And condoms. Right, condoms.
00:26:02Sounds like a big night. So we get our stuff up to the front, the clerk starts talking. And she's
00:26:06done. She looks at him and she goes, so we must be single, right? He goes, why, because of all
00:26:12the beer and the rubbers and stuff? And she goes, no, because you're butt ugly! That did not happen.
00:26:19Y'all made that up. True story. Scout's honor. You're a scout? I'm a scout. I can tie eight
00:26:25different kinds of knots. Yeah, it's true. If you ever need a knot tied, Evan's your man.
00:26:28What about you? What, tying the knot? No, not very good at it.
00:26:36But hey, thanks for the beer. Yeah, well, thank you for taking me home.
00:26:40Uh, what about your car? Tell Susan can come get me tomorrow. It's no big deal.
00:26:46So, uh, I had a really great time. Me too. I'd invite you in, but my place is...
00:26:55Oh, it's okay. It's getting late. I should probably get going anyway.
00:27:00Well, I enjoyed it. Really. It was good to see you again. You too.
00:27:05Good night. Good night. I'll talk to you later. Okay.
00:27:24Good night, Janet. Good night, Sam.
00:27:28He is awesome. She loves the same music I like. And he likes the same movies that I want to see.
00:27:34Plus, she's a huge football fan too. Wow, Janet, maybe. Don't even say it.
00:27:40What is going on here? Nothing is going on here. I wonder if these guys are going to call us.
00:27:45I mean, Evan knows where I work now. And Sam knows where you live.
00:27:49Hey, if they don't, they don't. I'm definitely not waiting by any phone.
00:27:53I'm not either. They need to print an idiot's guide on when to call a girl book.
00:27:58And maybe we can all just be friends. Are you sure you want to get in the friend zone
00:28:01with these guys? Once you're there, there's no way out.
00:28:14Nice call, guys. Got to get out of here before the cops come.
00:28:17I'm telling you, Sam, it's going to happen. No, not me. Never again, my man. It's not
00:28:22going to happen. You get closer and closer,
00:28:24and then it starts. Small at first. She invites you to a friend's wedding just to see your reaction.
00:28:31Exactly. Then you guys head to the mall. It's off to buy a wedding gift.
00:28:34Sam, do you like this pattern? Chicks mark this stuff down, dude.
00:28:38They've got pie graphs. They've got charts. They email each other. They keep track of this stuff,
00:28:43and they file it later with their girlfriends at the find a husband tribunal.
00:28:46Chicks night out. That sounds good.
00:28:50I'll have some chicken fingers with that sauce. Sorry, the grill is closed.
00:28:56All right, look, they can have all the tribunals and all the meetings they want.
00:28:59They just can't include me in them. Not so fast, Captain. Consciously,
00:29:03you don't know anything. Subconsciously, you're being assimilated.
00:29:07What's with all the $10 words? I'm at a $10 ride in Mama's car.
00:29:13They connect you to the hive, and after that, my brother, there is no getting away.
00:29:18What about Picard? Yeah, what about Picard?
00:29:23Well, yeah, Picard got away from the Borg somehow, but that was one of those
00:29:26season premiere television ratings deals. Right, as opposed to this real Borg stuff
00:29:31that you're talking about, right? We mock, but I see the transformation has begun.
00:29:40Yeah, well, beam back to Earth, pal, because it ain't going to happen.
00:29:42Beam that ass on over here to Planet Mama, huh?
00:29:45Last one, Evan.
00:29:47Make it soul number one.
00:29:49Hey, number one, my number seven with the sauce.
00:29:54The grill is shut down.
00:29:57Darian was right. Boys are stupid.
00:30:24That's a nice start. I got that sucker.
00:30:48Just pictures.
00:30:50More pictures?
00:30:51More pictures.
00:30:51Oh, great.
00:31:21Do you want some?
00:31:44Uh, no.
00:31:46Lots of protein here.
00:31:48All right.
00:31:53I'm gonna take a beer.
00:31:55Coming up.
00:31:57Susan.
00:31:58No, none for me. What are those?
00:32:01That's chicken hand.
00:32:03Chicken hand?
00:32:04Yeah, five chicken fingers.
00:32:06Want a thumb?
00:32:08No, that's okay.
00:32:12Want a pinky?
00:32:14Parker.
00:32:16Watch it, Bar.
00:32:21Well, well, well, what's up?
00:32:23Not a whole lot.
00:32:25Seen on that cable show, Sex and the City.
00:32:29Them pretty young things drinking them, uh...
00:32:33Cosmopolitan.
00:32:34Yeah, in one of them fancy glasses.
00:32:37Well, you don't need a fancy glass to drink a good cosmopolitan.
00:32:41I'll try one. It seems to work on TV.
00:32:46You know you're a bonafide regular.
00:32:48Yeah, I've been coming in here eight years and 42 nights.
00:32:53I want to know what a sophisticated cosmopolitan
00:32:56drinking beautiful woman is doing in here without a man.
00:33:01I used to have a man back when I was young and pretty.
00:33:04You're still pretty.
00:33:05I used to. Three of them.
00:33:07Every last one of them used me up and then left me for younger, prettier.
00:33:16The kind that drink those cosmopolitans.
00:33:18I see it in here every night.
00:33:21Grab-ass one-liners, lying, cheating.
00:33:24Them young girlies, all they want to do is get married.
00:33:28They should just find some man to bang their headboard against the wall.
00:33:33Hey, that's what I do.
00:33:36Two years ago, New Orleans, the last fellow to get front row seats to the Pointer Sisters.
00:33:43And then that was just a part on me.
00:33:47That's beautiful.
00:33:50Thank you.
00:33:50You're welcome.
00:33:52I'm going to need a drink.
00:33:54The usual?
00:33:55Make it a double.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:33:58What's going on?
00:34:00I am cooking.
00:34:02Well, what's for dinner?
00:34:04Tonight, the chef has prepared one of his all-time classics and one of your personal favorites.
00:34:09Oh, my favorite. Which one?
00:34:12Pizza rolls.
00:34:13Got it from one of Park's top secret recipes.
00:34:17I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:18I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:20I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:22I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:24I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:26I'm going to make a pizza roll.
00:34:28Let's see here.
00:34:29Start with a clean plate.
00:34:31Sounds good so far, Emeril.
00:34:32And yeah, just, you know, cook them.
00:34:38Oh, oh, and you didn't think that there were pizza rolls just by themselves.
00:34:42There's more.
00:34:43Ranch dressing on the side.
00:34:44Oh, you know how to treat a girl.
00:34:46Now, if I could just get you to do my laundry, you could be my wife.
00:34:50Yeah, and if I could learn to bitch and moan and not give a damn about anything
00:34:53my husband ever said, I'd be perfect.
00:34:55I learned all about being a wife firsthand.
00:34:57Oh, now, baby, get over here.
00:35:00Come over here and love on me.
00:35:03You know you want it.
00:35:05Oh, baby, why you got to be like that?
00:35:08Why can't we just talk?
00:35:08Why does it always got to be about my love cookie?
00:35:11If you give me your love cookie every now and then, I wouldn't have to go to the bakery
00:35:14every chance I get.
00:35:16I'll bet Parker's had the same conversation.
00:35:27You want to get out of here.
00:35:36Okay.
00:35:40These people are going to be pissed if we leave these great seeds and don't come back.
00:35:45So?
00:35:48Good point.
00:35:50Can't we wait for them to clap when we make our move?
00:35:53Gotcha.
00:36:06Do you think we wasted money on those tickets?
00:36:09Oh, I don't know.
00:36:10That cello solo that went on for about an hour was pretty great.
00:36:13Which one was that?
00:36:16Oh, yeah, that one.
00:36:19Yeah, but I love your version.
00:36:20Yeah, well, thank you.
00:36:23Where's our car?
00:36:25Uh, we are over there.
00:36:52Well, are you sure you don't need any help in there?
00:37:04Yeah, I'm sure.
00:37:07I don't know.
00:37:07I just, I feel like maybe we could conserve some water if we just both jumped in there
00:37:11together.
00:37:13See, honey, another reason to like you.
00:37:15You're concerned for the environment.
00:37:18I'll be out in a second.
00:37:19Then you can have what's left of the water.
00:37:21Yeah, well, save some hot water for me.
00:37:24Hot water?
00:37:25Don't you mean cold?
00:37:26And you're sure that you can reach all those places on your back?
00:37:30Yes, I'm sure.
00:37:31What about the front?
00:37:33If I can, you'll be the first to know.
00:37:51I remember walking without words.
00:37:56Syllables and air that would surrender.
00:37:58They could not be heard.
00:38:00And you were so warm and good.
00:38:02And I said right then that I can't.
00:38:04And the rain came down and hit the ground.
00:38:06And you were so warm and good.
00:38:08And I said right then that I can't.
00:38:10And the rain came down and hit the ground.
00:38:12And you were so warm and good.
00:38:14And I said right then that I can't.
00:38:16And the rain came down and hit the ground.
00:38:18And you were so warm and good.
00:38:20And I said right then that I can't.
00:38:22While we were standing there.
00:38:26This is what I can honestly say.
00:38:32I dream about day after day.
00:38:44So once again it's Christmas!
00:38:49I hope that all your wishes of peace and love come true
00:39:01The children playing in the snow While mother plays with mistletoe
00:39:09This happy time of year
00:39:13The tree is bright and dressed With all the lights and special gifts
00:39:22So I know, a goodness I'll just be
00:39:33A Christmas dream
00:39:44Christmas in the Neighborhood
00:39:51We've been canvassing the neighborhood looking for a home for homeless brown puppies.
00:39:55He is precious! Hi little guy, how are you?
00:39:59Oh, how cute!
00:40:03Where'd you find them?
00:40:04I saw an ad in the paper. I went to this guy's house.
00:40:08I walk in the door, there's six of them staring at me.
00:40:11I told him, they look like the Brady Bunch.
00:40:14And this guy ran right over to me, so I said, okay, that's it, I'll take the one that thinks I'm funny.
00:40:19Smart doggy. Pretending Sam is funny so you can come live with me.
00:40:24Well, thanks a lot.
00:40:26What's his name?
00:40:28That's up to you.
00:40:31Brady?
00:40:33Brady.
00:40:35Brady it is. You like your name Brady?
00:40:39Yeah, I like Brady.
00:40:47Uh-oh, flowers!
00:40:49Why, uh-oh?
00:40:51Looks like somebody's being tame.
00:40:54Marty, he's...
00:40:56No, no, you start getting flowers and your guy might be a cheetah.
00:41:00Cheetah!
00:41:04Okay, you guys go. Get out of here. I gotta get Vans booked.
00:41:07Yeah, girl, somebody has to work around here.
00:41:10Right, Janet? Eye of the tiger.
00:41:12Thanks, Marty.
00:41:16So, is tonight going to be the big night?
00:41:20I don't know. I feel so guilty.
00:41:24I know. It's not your fault, though.
00:41:27Maybe.
00:41:29God, I want to.
00:41:31Go for it. We'll see.
00:41:34You know what happens when you're younger and you get your ears pierced
00:41:37and you haven't put the studs in for a really long time?
00:41:40The holes grow back together.
00:41:45Okay, go. Get out of here.
00:42:03Okay.
00:42:34Sam?
00:42:36Yeah, it's me.
00:42:38I know it's you, silly.
00:42:40I was thinking.
00:42:44You were thinking?
00:42:46Well...
00:42:51I know you and I haven't, um...
00:42:54No. No, we haven't.
00:42:57Well, I don't want you to think that it's because I don't think you're attractive.
00:43:02I do.
00:43:04I feel a lot better about living the life of a middle school counselor monk.
00:43:11I'm just kidding. I know how you are.
00:43:14You do?
00:43:16Yeah. Hey, you've heard.
00:43:18Huh?
00:43:20About the creature.
00:43:22Oh, no. Not the creature.
00:43:25You may have even gotten some pre-shower glimpses of the creature.
00:43:28I've got some post-shower glimpses of the creature.
00:43:31But that's not the same creature. That one's weakened.
00:43:34Water to the creature. It's like kryptonite to Superman.
00:43:38It doesn't kill him, does it?
00:43:40No, no. It just makes him weaker until he can regain his strength.
00:43:46Thank you, Sam.
00:43:48You're so understanding about this.
00:43:51I know how you are.
00:43:53Sometimes I catch the way you look at Park.
00:43:56Busted.
00:43:57When he's eating that fried protein.
00:43:59You know, it's not exactly what he eats, but how he eats it.
00:44:04I mean, when he orders a plate of those heavily-breaded, deep-fried cheese things,
00:44:11and he dips them in ranch dressing, which slowly runs down his arm onto his sleeve.
00:44:17I can't help myself.
00:44:19When the ketchup runs down his cleavage.
00:44:22It drives me insane.
00:44:26I'll be back.
00:44:30Where are you going?
00:44:41So you're into ketchup, huh?
00:44:44Well, here you go.
00:44:46Oh, my God. You are so dead.
00:44:48Is it putting you on?
00:44:50Oh, my God.
00:45:09You liking this, huh?
00:45:11Is it turning you on?
00:45:21Yeah.
00:45:23Hey, it's Evan. Can you come down to my office?
00:45:25What's up?
00:45:26So I'm watching Star Trek the other night with Susan.
00:45:29Well, you always knew how to work the ladies.
00:45:31And I suddenly realized that Susan is watching Star Trek with me.
00:45:36Yeah, you just said that.
00:45:38No, I said I was watching Star Trek with her.
00:45:41Then I realized that Susan was watching Star Trek with me.
00:45:44Actually watching it, asking questions about it.
00:45:46Well, good for her.
00:45:47Maybe you should take her to one of those conventions, Commander.
00:45:51Oh, okay.
00:45:52Shoot a photon torpedo at a friend.
00:45:54And you know I'm not a commander yet.
00:45:56My bad.
00:45:57Forgiven.
00:45:58Okay, so you guys were watching Star Trek.
00:46:00Yeah, we're watching Star Trek.
00:46:01Not just Star Trek.
00:46:02It was a rerun of Voyager, Janeway.
00:46:04In English.
00:46:06I... I think I've already killed you.
00:46:10No, you haven't.
00:46:13I... I think I've already connected to the hive.
00:46:17Dude.
00:46:18And I know how you are about marriage and all that.
00:46:20Wait a second.
00:46:21Are you saying what I think you're saying?
00:46:23Sam, save the speech.
00:46:25No, no, no, no.
00:46:26I'm happy for you.
00:46:28Get over here.
00:46:33Hey, live long and prosper.
00:46:36Thanks, Sam. That means a lot.
00:46:39You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you first like someone?
00:46:43I still have that feeling.
00:46:45Me too.
00:46:47Susan?
00:46:48What? I just love that feeling.
00:46:50Actually, I love it and I hate it because you have no control over it.
00:46:54So what? Just soak in it.
00:46:56There's more going on here.
00:46:58Susan.
00:47:00Evan and I are, you know, we...
00:47:03Oh my gosh!
00:47:05I knew it.
00:47:06Oh my gosh!
00:47:07You guys are thinking about getting married?
00:47:09No lying?
00:47:10No lying!
00:47:11I'm already...
00:47:12Susan?
00:47:13Janet?
00:47:14Susan?
00:47:17Oh my gosh!
00:47:18You're engaged?
00:47:19Oh my gosh!
00:47:23Well, I think it's ridiculous.
00:47:24Well, why do you have to be so stubborn?
00:47:26You need to start thinking in a new way.
00:47:28I disagree. Look, I did it before and it sucked and I vowed never to do it again.
00:47:33Well, what was so bad last time?
00:47:35If you were a guy, you'd understand.
00:47:37Oh, so it's a guy thing.
00:47:40If the guys even knew I was talking about it, much less doing it, they'd fall on their asses laughing.
00:47:47Come here, sweetie.
00:47:49Plus, it made me break out last time.
00:47:54Only about one more minute.
00:47:57Guys, it's sounding great, really.
00:47:59Just to give it a little lift, introduce something into the outro.
00:48:02That sounds great.
00:48:03Yeah.
00:48:04Really good.
00:48:05Really good.
00:48:08Okay guys, let's try it like that.
00:48:35Did you know Evan was going to ask Susan?
00:48:38I heard something about that, yeah.
00:48:41Well, why didn't you tell me?
00:48:44I don't know. I just didn't think about it.
00:48:46How could you not? Susan told me first thing.
00:48:50Well, I don't know. I guess we just think differently.
00:48:54Meaning?
00:48:56Meaning I didn't want to get into this conversation.
00:48:59Oh, yeah. How repulsive.
00:49:01A conversation between two people who love each other about marriage.
00:49:05Why are you attacking me?
00:49:06I'm not. I just don't understand why we can't talk about it.
00:49:10Why? I don't know.
00:49:11Well, what are you so afraid of?
00:49:13I mean, you say that you love me.
00:49:15I do.
00:49:17I do. See? That wasn't so hard.
00:49:20You're really funny.
00:49:23I do love you.
00:49:25Then what is it?
00:49:27Marriage just changes relationships.
00:49:29I don't know why it does, but it does.
00:49:31Ask anybody who's married.
00:49:33Well, of course it changes it.
00:49:35You stop dating. You become a family.
00:49:37You live together and work together and love each other.
00:49:39Eventually you have kids.
00:49:42Kids?
00:49:44Well, you know what that means.
00:49:46Some sex.
00:49:47Sam, I'm serious.
00:49:49You grow together and take care of each other.
00:49:52You know, all that real awful stuff.
00:49:55That's not what I meant.
00:49:57Hey, all those things sound great when you talk about them,
00:49:59but does it ever really happen?
00:50:01Because it didn't when I was married.
00:50:04When people get married, they just...
00:50:07They stop trying.
00:50:08I don't know why.
00:50:09Ask any of my guy friends who are married.
00:50:10They'll tell you the same thing.
00:50:13You're listening to your guy friends about marriage?
00:50:16God, all these guys have somehow stumbled into your life
00:50:18like the dream team for bachelorhood.
00:50:22Sam, marriage is not that awful.
00:50:24If you give 100% of yourself to the other person,
00:50:27I mean, it's not perfect, but what is?
00:50:30How would you know?
00:50:32I've been married.
00:50:33Trust me, it can be awful.
00:50:36It can be the worst experience of your life.
00:50:44I need to tell you something.
00:50:51Okay.
00:51:08Does he know?
00:51:10I told him last night.
00:51:12About L.A. or...
00:51:13Yeah, about L.A.
00:51:16So did you guys...
00:51:18No.
00:51:21I'm sorry.
00:51:24I don't know, Susan.
00:51:28Sorry to interrupt.
00:51:29Janet, you have a call.
00:51:30Line three.
00:51:31Thanks, Angie.
00:51:33I'll let you take that.
00:51:34Okay, bye.
00:51:38This is Janet.
00:51:39Can you meet me?
00:51:42What?
00:51:44No.
00:51:45I just need to talk to you, that's all.
00:51:47Please.
00:51:48No.
00:51:49Why?
00:51:51I'm going downstairs in the lobby.
00:51:52You're just gonna meet me.
00:51:53Give me five minutes.
00:51:55Please.
00:51:59I'll be down there in a minute.
00:52:11Janet.
00:52:13I'll be back in a minute.
00:52:14Is that who I think it was?
00:52:16Yeah.
00:52:17I'm going downstairs.
00:52:18He's in the lobby.
00:52:19You're kidding.
00:52:20How long has it been?
00:52:22A year and a half.
00:52:24I'll be back.
00:52:26What was that all about?
00:52:27What's going on, guys?
00:52:28Steven is downstairs.
00:52:30Oh, my God.
00:52:32Who?
00:52:37I can't believe you two haven't done it yet.
00:52:39Yeah, well, believe it.
00:52:41Me and Susan are hitting it like bunny wabbits.
00:52:46Yeah, well, it's something.
00:52:47Maybe it's her way of trapping me into a marriage proposal.
00:52:50Just to get some.
00:52:51Doesn't that usually work the other way around?
00:52:53They give you sex to get you, and then after the honeymoon, it stops.
00:52:57Well, you're the one getting married.
00:52:59Yeah, well, Susan's a different breed.
00:53:02She's all...
00:53:03Wabbit.
00:53:04Look, I love her.
00:53:06I don't want to force her into anything if she's not ready.
00:53:08If she wants to wait, that's fine.
00:53:10I just...
00:53:12It's something.
00:53:13I don't know.
00:53:14I don't know.
00:53:17Scotty, get me out of here.
00:53:19I think he could explode at any moment.
00:53:24I can't believe he shows up now.
00:53:26And he said he comes in here a lot.
00:53:28Probably alone.
00:53:30He's a freak.
00:53:31Well, there's a guy that comes in here alone every week.
00:53:34And he sits right back there.
00:53:37What did he tell you?
00:53:39I don't know.
00:53:42He asked me to dinner.
00:53:45I didn't know he could talk.
00:53:48So what are you going to do?
00:53:50God, what can't I do?
00:53:55I've been lying, lying to Sam for a year.
00:54:00I can't just casually mention to Sam,
00:54:02Oh, by the way, in case you were ever interested in marrying me, you can't.
00:54:06Because I already have a husband.
00:54:08Gina, you're separated.
00:54:09Legally, he just won't sign the papers.
00:54:11That is not your fault.
00:54:15Okay.
00:54:18God, why didn't I just tell him?
00:54:44Susan.
00:54:54Looks like they're going to miss you.
00:54:57Yeah.
00:55:04What do you want me to do?
00:55:10I'll tell you what I want you to do.
00:55:13I want you to marry me because you want to be with me.
00:55:16Not because I want you to, or because I'm moving,
00:55:19or for any other reason but that you cannot stand to be away from me.
00:55:26I'm just not ready to get married again, Janet.
00:55:30I've still got too many problems and questions from my last marriage.
00:55:35I'm the counselor, and I'm probably the one that needs counseling because...
00:55:40because I love you, and I've never felt this way about anybody before.
00:55:47But I'm just scared that I'm going to ruin it by marrying you.
00:55:51Ruin it?
00:55:52Well, we've talked about this before. You know what I mean.
00:55:58I got married at 19 years old,
00:56:00and I lost six years of my life to a bad marriage like that.
00:56:03And I still remember the way everything changed.
00:56:05She changed. She didn't even resemble the woman I remember marrying.
00:56:08I'm not her.
00:56:09I know that. It's me.
00:56:11If you'd been married before, you would understand.
00:56:23I can't do this.
00:56:29I don't want you to be there when I leave.
00:56:34And I don't want you to call me.
00:56:36It'll just make it that much harder.
00:56:44I don't want you to go.
00:56:48I have to.
00:56:51It's not fair.
00:56:56Let me help you with this stuff.
00:56:57I've got it.
00:57:06I love you.
00:57:25I love you.
00:57:37For the last time.
00:57:51Mr. Evening.
00:57:55You look terrible.
00:57:57Darian.
00:57:59It's confusing.
00:58:01What are you confused about? Maybe I can help you.
00:58:07I thought I was supposed to be the one helping you.
00:58:11Sit back in your chair, Mr. Evening, and tell me all about it.
00:58:19Okay, um...
00:58:22I told you about Janet, right?
00:58:24Some.
00:58:26Okay, well, she...
00:58:27Well, we... I don't even know where to begin.
00:58:30She got a job offer, and she has to move to...
00:58:33Are you going?
00:58:35Well, it's not really that easy.
00:58:37Why not? She wants you to go, right?
00:58:40Well, yeah, but...
00:58:41So go.
00:58:43And just leave my job, my friends, everything that...
00:58:46Why don't you tell me the real story?
00:58:51I can't believe I'm doing this.
00:58:52Okay, um...
00:58:56After my divorce, I went...
00:58:59So what do you think?
00:59:02Stupid boys.
00:59:05That's it? Stupid boys?
00:59:08That's it.
00:59:35I wanted to see if you guys had any...
00:59:57It's okay, you'll be fine.
01:00:00I'm sorry.
01:00:02It's okay, you'll be fine.
01:00:07No, I won't.
01:00:08Yes, you will.
01:00:12You're sad and single.
01:00:15No.
01:00:21God, I'm suffocating.
01:00:26I wish he would just come get at me.
01:00:32He was gonna tickle my back,
01:00:34and play with my hair, and go to the games with me.
01:00:37Janet, you have this great job.
01:00:40I don't care about the job.
01:00:41I would trade it in a second.
01:00:47I've messed up, haven't I?
01:00:48No.
01:00:50No, you haven't.
01:00:51No, I think I have.
01:00:52I think I messed up.
01:00:54I think I pushed him too hard.
01:00:55Janet, if he's not gonna commit, it's not your fault.
01:01:02You have the one person I wish I had with me all the time.
01:01:05You.
01:01:12I think this is the last box.
01:01:15I'm in the movers, gonna do the rest.
01:01:19I'm gonna miss you.
01:01:22I'm gonna miss you too.
01:01:26I should go.
01:01:27Okay.
01:01:28I should go.
01:01:29Okay.
01:01:30You call me at every stop and let me know you're okay.
01:01:33I will.
01:01:34Okay?
01:01:35I love you, Susan.
01:01:36Me too.
01:01:58I love you.
01:02:15What are you doing here?
01:02:16I told you when you came to my office the other day that I did not want to see you again unless you had some signed papers.
01:02:22I need to talk to you.
01:02:23About what?
01:02:24Us.
01:02:25Are you joking?
01:02:26Why haven't you signed the papers yet?
01:02:28I just can't.
01:02:29I cannot live without you anymore.
01:02:31This past year and a half has been...
01:02:32Steven, I'm so sorry.
01:02:33Did she find out you were cheating on her too?
01:02:36This doesn't have anything to do with anybody but you and me.
01:02:39There is no you and me.
01:02:41Janet, I...
01:02:42Did you hit her a little too?
01:02:45I'm not like that anymore.
01:02:47I've changed.
01:02:48I'm just ready for you and me to pick up where we left off.
01:02:51Well, great.
01:02:52I'll see you at the courthouse.
01:02:53Look, in the beginning we were so good together.
01:02:56Let me come to L.A. with you.
01:02:58We can spend some time together.
01:02:59Start fresh.
01:03:00You're not going anywhere with me.
01:03:02Just give me a chance here.
01:03:03We can be together.
01:03:09Oh.
01:03:11Is it Sam?
01:03:14Is he going?
01:03:15How do you know about Sam?
01:03:16How do you know his name?
01:03:19I was at the bar one night when you guys were there together.
01:03:22I asked the bartender who he was.
01:03:24He doesn't seem like your type.
01:03:26Look, Stephen, you need to leave.
01:03:28And don't ever try to contact me again unless you've got some papers signed.
01:03:31Here.
01:03:33Look at these pictures.
01:03:35We were so happy together that day.
01:03:37It can be just like that again.
01:03:38It'll be even better.
01:03:47Just leave.
01:03:53Just leave.
01:04:23Just leave.
01:04:53Just leave.
01:04:54Just leave.
01:04:55Just leave.
01:04:56Just leave.
01:04:57Just leave.
01:04:58Just leave.
01:04:59Just leave.
01:05:00Just leave.
01:05:01Just leave.
01:05:02Just leave.
01:05:03Just leave.
01:05:04Just leave.
01:05:05Just leave.
01:05:06Just leave.
01:05:07Just leave.
01:05:08Just leave.
01:05:09Just leave.
01:05:10Just leave.
01:05:11Just leave.
01:05:12Just leave.
01:05:13Just leave.
01:05:14Just leave.
01:05:15Just leave.
01:05:16Just leave.
01:05:17Just leave.
01:05:18Just leave.
01:05:19Just leave.
01:05:20Just leave.
01:05:21Just leave.
01:05:22Just leave.
01:05:23Just leave.
01:05:24Just leave.
01:05:25Just leave.
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01:05:27Just leave.
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01:05:30Just leave.
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01:05:59Just leave.
01:06:00Just leave.
01:06:01Just leave.
01:06:02Just leave.
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01:06:06Just leave.
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01:06:15Just leave.
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01:06:24Just leave.
01:06:25Just leave.
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01:07:11Just leave.
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01:07:14Just leave.
01:07:15Just leave.
01:07:16Just leave.
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01:07:18Just leave.
01:07:19Just leave.
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01:07:23Just leave.
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01:07:37Just leave.
01:07:38Just leave.
01:07:39Just leave.
01:07:40Just leave.
01:07:41Just leave.
01:07:42Just leave.
01:07:43Just leave.
01:07:44Just leave.
01:07:45Just leave.
01:07:46Just leave.
01:07:47He called you?
01:07:48I've tried him a bunch of times, but there's no answer.
01:07:51He doesn't even have his answering machine on.
01:07:54Have you heard from him?
01:07:56No.
01:07:57That's strange.
01:07:58I thought so, too.
01:08:01I mean, I did tell him not to call me.
01:08:04He knows what that means when a girlfriend says not to call, right?
01:08:07Thought so.
01:08:09I guess he never got that idiot's guide on when to call a girl, though.
01:08:14Oh, Evan's been really weird ever since you left.
01:08:17We're gonna talk tonight at the bar after work.
01:08:20Maybe Sam will be there.
01:08:22He went over to see her and saw some guy kiss her.
01:08:24He recognized the guy from in here, and I'd seen him in here before, too.
01:08:27Does he know who that guy is?
01:08:29Well, he does now.
01:08:30I told him.
01:08:32Sorry.
01:08:34Does he know that Janet's...
01:08:35Still married?
01:08:36Yeah.
01:08:37Why didn't you tell me?
01:08:38Don't look at me.
01:08:39How does he know?
01:08:40I asked the guy.
01:08:41We were over here a couple of nights ago helping to close up.
01:08:43He sees him over in the corner.
01:08:45Of course, Sam had been over-served again.
01:08:47And he decides to confront him.
01:08:49It was like Kirk versus Khan.
01:08:53Hey, dude.
01:08:55Don't go anywhere.
01:08:56I'll be right back, all right?
01:09:05Just make sure you shoot straight or you're walking.
01:09:10All right.
01:09:26What the hell are you looking at?
01:09:28Get away from me, you wasted.
01:09:31I've seen you before.
01:09:32I know you.
01:09:34You know me?
01:09:35Really?
01:09:37You kissed my girlfriend at her house.
01:09:39I saw you do it.
01:09:41You're a girl.
01:09:42I can kiss her any time I want.
01:09:44She's my wife.
01:09:48Yeah, Janet, my wife.
01:09:52Stand up.
01:09:54You don't want to do this.
01:09:55Yeah, I do.
01:09:56Come on, Sam.
01:09:57Or stand up.
01:09:58Time to go home.
01:09:59Yeah, give me a strong ass push.
01:10:00Get him out of here.
01:10:01This fool says he's married to Janet.
01:10:02What?
01:10:03I say we kick his ass.
01:10:04I say you go home.
01:10:05Come on, Sam, let's get out of here, man.
01:10:10Where the hell did you get these?
01:10:12From my wedding book.
01:10:14Come on, Sam.
01:10:15Ask her.
01:10:16Let's go.
01:10:17Ask her.
01:10:18Sam, come on, let's go.
01:10:19She's been lying to you.
01:10:20Ask her.
01:10:21Yeah, she wouldn't marry you.
01:10:22Ask her.
01:10:23Ask her.
01:10:24Come on.
01:10:25Stephen told him?
01:10:26You know him?
01:10:27Why didn't you tell me?
01:10:28We're getting married.
01:10:29Communication?
01:10:30I'm sorry, Evan.
01:10:31It wasn't my place to say anything.
01:10:33They've been separated for over a year and a half,
01:10:35long before Sam ever came into the picture.
01:10:37Well, he left out those details.
01:10:38He just said he was Janet's husband.
01:10:40Oh, God.
01:10:41He's got wedding pictures on him.
01:10:43What kind of guy carries wedding pictures?
01:10:44He pulls them out and he showed them to Sam.
01:10:46He just showed up recently and tried to hook back up with Janet.
01:10:49She doesn't want anything to do with him.
01:10:51I can't believe she's married.
01:10:53Separated.
01:10:54Legally separated.
01:10:55He just won't sign the papers.
01:10:57Look, you've got to talk to Sam.
01:10:59Well, I'd like to, but he's on vacation.
01:11:01Where?
01:11:02I don't know.
01:11:03I've been trying to reach him at home,
01:11:04but he's not answering his phone.
01:11:06Oh.
01:11:26Hello?
01:11:28Evan.
01:11:29Sam, where the hell have you been, man?
01:11:30I've been trying to call you for the past couple of weeks.
01:11:33On another planet.
01:11:35That's my line.
01:11:36Hey, man, I'm glad you finally called.
01:11:37I got some information about her husband.
01:11:40What?
01:11:41Turns out he's been stalking Janet.
01:11:43Steven?
01:11:44Yeah, con.
01:11:45They're separated.
01:11:46Legally.
01:11:47Legally separated.
01:11:48So it's like they're not even married.
01:11:50For how long?
01:11:51For how long?
01:11:52About a year and a half.
01:11:54So why not just get divorced?
01:11:56She wants to.
01:11:57She's trying.
01:11:58He won't sign the divorce papers.
01:12:00Hi, Susan.
01:12:01Hey, Sam.
01:12:02Are you okay?
01:12:04This whole thing is crazy.
01:12:05Sam, please call her.
01:12:07She misses you so much.
01:12:09This guy is the whole reason she wouldn't sleep with you.
01:12:12She's sleeping with him?
01:12:13No, no.
01:12:14She's just felt guilty this entire year.
01:12:16She just didn't think it was fair to you.
01:12:18She wanted to tell you, but it was never the right time.
01:12:21She hid this from me.
01:12:23We talked about getting married.
01:12:25She never even told me this.
01:12:26I know, Sam.
01:12:27She wanted to tell you.
01:12:29She wishes she would have.
01:12:32I can't just call her.
01:12:34What am I going to say, that over the last few weeks
01:12:36I decided that it was cool that you were married this whole time
01:12:38and just didn't tell me?
01:12:40Sam, she regrets not telling you.
01:12:42It's killing her.
01:12:43Yeah, well, it's killing me, too.
01:12:46Sam, call her, please.
01:12:51I don't know.
01:12:56I'll talk to you guys later.
01:12:58I've got to go.
01:13:02Bye.
01:13:32Bye.
01:14:02Hello?
01:14:17I'm going to L.A.
01:14:19What?
01:14:20Who is it?
01:14:21Sam.
01:14:23Did you build a transport room?
01:14:25Because I don't think a no-advance round trip to L.A.
01:14:27is in your budget.
01:14:29No, it's not.
01:14:30I think it is.
01:14:32I booked a flight last night.
01:14:33Got the first good night's sleep that I've had in a long time.
01:14:37Yes, Los Angeles.
01:14:40Leaves at 1.15.
01:14:43Okay, thanks.
01:14:46Ah, full speed ahead.
01:14:48Warp factor 10, Captain.
01:14:51Look, I've got to go.
01:14:52I've got a lot of errands to run before I leave town.
01:14:54Did you call her?
01:14:55Nope.
01:14:56I'm going to surprise her.
01:14:57As a matter of fact, I've got a lot of surprises.
01:14:59Well, do me a favor, Sam.
01:15:01Live long and please, please try to prosper.
01:15:07I'm going to L.A.
01:15:08I'm going to L.A.
01:15:09I'm going to L.A.
01:15:10I'm going to L.A.
01:15:11I'm going to L.A.
01:15:12I'm going to L.A.
01:15:13I'm going to L.A.
01:15:14I'm going to L.A.
01:15:15I'm going to prosper.
01:15:43Mr. Heafy, where have you been?
01:15:47I've been kind of out of it.
01:15:49I'm sorry.
01:15:50I was worried about you.
01:15:54Look, I did a lot of thinking about what you, uh...
01:15:57what we were talking about, and...
01:16:01you were right about love.
01:16:04So I wanted to come by and thank you on my way out of town.
01:16:07California?
01:16:09Yeah.
01:16:10This evening I knew you were in love.
01:16:12I just knew it.
01:16:14Well, I got a plane to catch.
01:16:19You know, Darian, you don't need counseling anymore.
01:16:24You're one of the smartest, most well-adjusted people I know.
01:16:27I know.
01:16:28I just figured sometimes you needed to talk about stuff.
01:16:37Well, how do I look?
01:16:42Like my grandma.
01:16:45Go get her, Mr. Evening.
01:17:42I love you.
01:18:13Drink next Wednesday night.
01:18:16The man is identified as Stephen Harwood.
01:18:18Eyewitnesses say they saw him run the other car off the road,
01:18:21and police tell me there is evidence he had been drinking.
01:18:24A quick check of police records also reveals Stephen Harwood
01:18:27has been to jail time for spousal abuse.
01:18:30Stephen Harwood was pronounced dead at the scene here moments ago.
01:18:33The other victim has been taken to University Hospital,
01:18:35where right now he is in critical condition.
01:18:37His name will not be released pending notifications.
01:18:40His name will not be released pending notification of his relatives.
01:18:43Reporting live from Airport Road, I'm Lynn Parker.
01:19:11I love you.
01:19:12I love you.
01:19:13I love you.
01:19:14I love you.
01:19:15I love you.
01:19:16I love you.
01:19:17I love you.
01:19:18I love you.
01:19:19I love you.
01:19:20I love you.
01:19:21I love you.
01:19:22I love you.
01:19:23I love you.
01:19:24I love you.
01:19:25I love you.
01:19:26I love you.
01:19:27I love you.
01:19:28I love you.
01:19:29I love you.
01:19:30I love you.
01:19:31I love you.
01:19:32I love you.
01:19:33I love you.
01:19:34I love you.
01:19:35I love you.
01:19:36I love you.
01:19:37I love you.
01:19:38I love you.
01:19:39I love you.
01:19:40I love you.
01:19:41I love you.
01:19:42I love you.
01:19:43I love you.
01:19:44I love you.
01:19:45I love you.
01:19:46I love you.
01:19:47I love you.
01:19:48I love you.
01:19:49I love you.
01:19:50I love you.
01:19:51I love you.
01:19:52I love you.
01:19:53I love you.
01:19:54I love you.
01:19:55I love you.
01:19:56I love you.
01:19:57I love you.
01:19:58I love you.
01:19:59I love you.
01:20:00I love you.
01:20:01I love you.
01:20:02I love you.
01:20:03I love you.
01:20:04I love you.
01:20:05I love you.
01:20:06I love you.
01:20:07I love you.
01:20:08I love you.
01:20:09I love you.
01:20:10I love you.
01:20:11I love you.
01:20:12I love you.
01:20:13I love you.
01:20:14I love you.
01:20:15I love you.
01:20:16I love you.
01:20:17I love you.
01:20:18I love you.
01:20:19I love you.
01:20:20I love you.
01:20:21I love you.
01:20:22I love you.
01:20:23I love you.
01:20:24I love you.
01:20:25I love you.
01:20:26I love you.
01:20:27I love you.
01:20:28I love you.
01:20:29I love you.
01:20:30I love you.
01:20:31I love you.
01:20:32I love you.
01:20:33I love you.
01:20:34I love you.
01:20:35I love you.
01:20:36I love you.
01:20:37I love you.
01:20:38I love you.
01:20:39I love you.
01:20:40I love you.
01:20:41I love you.
01:20:42I love you.
01:20:43I love you.
01:20:44I love you.
01:20:45I love you.
01:20:47There are two people down in the waiting room I need to go talk to.
01:20:51Okay.
01:21:02I'm very sorry.
01:21:07Even if one of them dies, and they really, truly love each other, they're still together,
01:21:19you know, in their hearts.
01:21:20This is your pilot speaking.
01:21:21Welcome aboard.
01:21:22Our flight to Los Angeles International Airport will take us approximately 4 hours and 10
01:21:29minutes.
01:21:30The same thing, we should touch down at LAX right on time at 10.52.
01:21:31Sit back and enjoy the flight.
01:21:32If there's anything we can do to make your flight more pleasant, don't hesitate to let
01:21:33us know.
01:21:35to hang in there.
01:21:36This is your pilot speaking.
01:21:37Welcome aboard.
01:21:38Our flight to Los Angeles International Airport will take us approximately 4 hours and 10
01:21:39minutes.
01:21:40The same thing, we should touch down at LAX right on time at 10.52.
01:21:41Sit back and enjoy the flight.
01:21:42If there's anything we can do to make your flight more pleasant, don't hesitate to let
01:21:43us know.
01:21:52Brady?
01:21:53Well, how do I look?
01:22:01Well, how do I look?
01:22:06Like my grandma.
01:22:10Go get her, Mr. Evening.
01:22:30My God, did you see that?
01:22:48These crazy-ass drivers.
01:22:50We should stop, but I know you gotta catch that flight.
01:22:53Let me call this in to dispatch.
01:22:54There's an EMSA station just around the corner.
01:23:00I'm sorry you came all this way, but that's not your friend who died in there.
01:23:10I'm not surprised the guy who ran him off the road made a mistake, as much alcohol was in his system.
01:24:00Brady?
01:24:30Hey.
01:24:35Hey.
01:24:40Where'd you go?
01:24:43I...
01:24:47I was looking for you.
01:24:54I'm so sorry.
01:24:58It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
01:25:06While you were gone, I was talking to Brady,
01:25:09and he told me that taking care of you
01:25:12was a pretty tough job to do all by himself.
01:25:17So I told him I'd help him take care of you.
01:25:24Always.
01:25:28It's okay.
01:25:31Okay.
01:25:36I love you so much.
01:25:45It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
01:25:59Are you gonna do this?
01:26:00Yeah!
01:26:01Oh yeah!
01:26:07Oh, yeah!
01:26:58As it turned out, to be married, you don't have to be able to lead tall buildings in
01:27:07a single bound.
01:27:11It's okay just to be Clark Kent sometimes, especially if you find the lowest lane.
01:27:16I could feel the wind rushing by, a flash of red in the evening sky, I could feel the
01:27:23wind rushing by, a flash of red in the evening sky, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:27:24feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:27:25by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:27:26wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:27:27feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:27:28by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:27:29wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:27:30feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:27:31by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:27:32wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:27:33feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:27:34by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:27:35wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:27:36feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:27:37by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind
01:27:38rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:27:39wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:27:40the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:01feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:03by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind
01:28:04rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:05the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:06feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:07by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:28:08wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:09the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:10the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:12the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:13feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:14by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind
01:28:15rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:16the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:17the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:18the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:19the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:28:20the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:31feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:32by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:28:33wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:34feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:35by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:28:36wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:28:37feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:28:38by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:28:39wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:29:00feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:29:01by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:29:25wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:29:52feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:30:21by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the
01:30:22wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:30:23feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing
01:30:24by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind
01:30:25rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel
01:30:26the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:30:27feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:30:28feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could
01:30:29feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing by, I could feel the wind rushing