The Three Badasses Who Want Me ( Part 1 )

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The Three Badasses Who Want Me ( Part 1 )
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Transcript
00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:07What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:13Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:18If your mother-in-law sees, she's gonna throw a big fit again.
00:21Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:25What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:30And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:35All right, everybody get out!
00:38We got an important guest coming!
00:42You!
00:47You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:49I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:56You want to say that again?
01:01You know who's visiting today?
01:03Ellen freakin' Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
01:06Ellen Musk?
01:08Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
01:10Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
01:14Really?
01:16Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
01:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
01:27Coming to see you?
01:29All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
01:32If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
01:38Deal.
01:47Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
01:52You're fired.
02:11Prepare the limo.
02:13The park requires us immediately.
02:21Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
02:23Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
02:26Five.
02:27Four.
02:30Three.
02:33Two.
02:34One.
02:38Ellen, uh, I mean, Ms. Musk, uh, Ellen, uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
02:47How's my boss bitch?
02:49Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
02:51So how do you, like...
02:54She's my boss.
02:56Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
03:01No way.
03:05Well?
03:10No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
03:12No, I won't do it again.
03:16All right, that's enough.
03:18We're not tyrants here.
03:26Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
03:34You mean Angela Lockhart.
03:36My runaway pride.
03:39Made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
03:43Who are you?
03:47Where is she?
03:48Atlanta.
03:49And you were right.
03:50It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
03:52My clever pride.
03:54I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
04:01Max, prep the jet.
04:03I'm heading to Atlanta.
04:09Dr. Wilson, Kevin Sterling's on the move.
04:11He's headed to Atlanta.
04:12Atlanta?
04:13The game is afoot.
04:14I'm going.
04:15Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
04:18He can wait.
04:19I need to pick up my bride.
04:25Dr. Wilson!
04:32General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
04:35Kevin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
04:38Atlanta!
04:40Where is that?
04:42Whatever, prepare my war plate!
04:44Those two are going after my fiancee.
04:47This is war.
05:00I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
05:08Thank you so much, Ellen.
05:10This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
05:13That project is worth billions.
05:15He can finally take his company public.
05:17But Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
05:28Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
05:32Well, three years ago...
05:35You saved me.
06:00He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
06:04I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
06:10But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
06:18So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
06:21I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
06:26But why work at the flea market?
06:28Are you disguising yourself to test him?
06:32Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
06:37Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
06:41You seem happy being a housewife.
06:47Where the hell are you?
06:49Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
06:52Get home, stat.
06:54It's a big day today.
06:57That was...
06:58My mother-in-law, Carol.
07:00She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
07:03But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
07:09You know, she even remembered our 30-year anniversary.
07:17Please spend more time with my son.
07:21Hi, I'm home.
07:23I have a big announcement I have to make.
07:26Finally, you're back.
07:27Now sign the divorce papers.
07:31Divorce papers?
07:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
07:37God, don't call me Mom again.
07:40We're ending that relationship.
07:42Just look at you.
07:43Dirt all over.
07:45You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
07:48You don't deserve my son.
07:49You're way below his league.
07:52I'm below his league?
07:54That's right.
07:55You are.
07:57Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
08:03And then his company's going public.
08:06That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
08:08But you?
08:10You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
08:14Jared's like the king in the clouds.
08:17And you...
08:18You will always just be a pawn.
08:22Like dirt on our shoes.
08:27Dirt on your shoes?
08:29But Ellen Musk works for me.
08:32You're delusional.
08:34You will never upgrade to a queen.
08:37How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
08:42Resorting to lies is definitely not good enough for Jared.
08:46And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
08:53You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
08:59Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee, not a lowlife dirtbag.
09:03Enough!
09:05Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
09:09But I am.
09:11Don't fight it, Angela.
09:13Here's 500K.
09:15You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
09:19Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
09:22Don't embarrass yourself further.
09:25I've done so much for you these past three years.
09:30Did that not mean anything to you?
09:33Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
09:36Fine. Here's another 200,000.
09:40500,000 is too much for her already.
09:43She's done nothing.
09:45Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
09:48She just sells cheap grass all day.
09:51Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
09:55I took care of both of you these past three years.
09:59You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
10:04And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
10:08A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
10:12What a joke.
10:13If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
10:19And leave!
10:22You really think that Jared would have gotten that maple plaza bid without me?
10:27Let alone taking the company public?
10:29I did everything for you, Jared.
10:33Now you take credit for my son's success?
10:38It's all my work!
10:42Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
10:50You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
10:55So, she's the reason for the divorce.
10:59She's worth more than you, Angela.
11:03Fine. I'll sign it.
11:07But don't regret it.
11:10Regret?
11:12Do I know who I am?
11:14Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
11:18I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
11:22Jared winning the bid on Maple Plaza was because of my dad.
11:28Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
11:31It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
11:36You can't do shit because you're poor.
11:40Social stratum matters.
11:42Yeah, social stratum does matter.
11:46And the Coopers are beneath me.
11:49And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
11:54Ha! You're delusional.
11:57Sign the papers and scram!
12:03You owe me.
12:05You dirty bitch. You're sipping me.
12:14You hit me.
12:18Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
12:28I don't need your penny money.
12:31Come on. We're finished.
12:34You don't want the money? That's your loss.
12:37Your check is just pennies to me.
12:40But I would like my ring back.
12:45Your check is just pennies to me.
12:48But I would like my ring back.
12:59Have fun on your economy flight
13:03while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
13:08And I'm way out of your league.
13:16Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
13:20It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
13:23Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
13:26Something she found at the flea market.
13:29You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
13:33Congrats, Jared boo-boo.
13:36I'm getting rid of that dirt bag.
13:39Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret
13:42big-shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
13:46Bigger big-shot than Elon Musk?
13:49Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
13:53Everything's thanks to you, babe.
13:57Everything's thanks to you, babe.
14:14Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia,
14:17wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
14:20Vanderbilt?
14:22Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
14:25Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
14:28You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
14:32That's exactly why I'm going.
14:55Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
15:00Who is he?
15:02That? That's Devin Sterling.
15:05He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto,
15:09CEO of Sterling Enterprises. Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
15:14And he's your fiancé.
15:17What? My fiancé?
15:20The one and only.
15:23So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
15:28have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet, babe?
15:40That tiara looks perfect on you.
15:46What is she doing here?
15:50You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday,
15:54and you're already hooking up with another man?
15:57Divorced?
16:00That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
16:05Sterling. Devin Sterling.
16:09So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
16:13Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
16:16She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
16:21How dare you insult my boss like that.
16:24Who the fuck are you, bitch?
16:27Do you know who I am?
16:30They don't know who you are.
16:33You hide it well.
16:36X-Team, teach these fools a lesson.
16:39Teach these fools a lesson.
16:45Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta,
16:48and then to New York, you forgot to bring the security team.
16:57Mind if I, uh, borrow your men?
17:04Celsius Illuminati is out.
17:06Oh, you bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
17:16A kiss as a reward, my lady.
17:20No.
17:28Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
17:31You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
17:36Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
17:39Pleased to meet you all.
17:41Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
17:44What an honor.
17:46I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
17:48That's worth billions of dollars.
17:50Congrats. You'll be next.
17:52Thank you, but we haven't received the contract yet.
17:55We deserve it.
17:56Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
17:59Vanderbilts and Ms. Musk have always had a good relationship.
18:02So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
18:06Thank you, Mr. Manville.
18:08Now, we just have to impress Ms. Musk's special guest of honor.
18:12Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
18:17Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
18:20Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot,
18:24we can feast for generations.
18:29I'll do my best.
18:35Excuse me.
18:36A second, gentlemen.
18:38What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
18:43How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
18:45You were...
18:46Me? A hobo?
18:48How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
18:51You sleep your way in?
18:52I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
18:55Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
18:58Don't flatter yourself.
19:03This is your ex-husband?
19:06What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
19:09Who the hell is this?
19:11You were cheating on me?
19:13Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
19:27That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
19:32They even took Kaylee's tiara.
19:44You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
19:49Get your hands off of her!
19:55My lady.
19:57My lady.
20:11My queen.
20:23It's...
20:24It's him!
20:27He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
20:30Who are these peasants?
20:32These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
20:37Oh, shut up, old man.
20:40You're disturbing the peace.
20:44You fuckers, you know who that is?
20:46That's Eric Vanderbilt.
20:48You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
20:50His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
20:54This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
20:57Vanderbilt.
20:59The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
21:04who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
21:08That the Lee Vanderbilt family?
21:17Oh, goddammit.
21:19Stomachache now?
21:24Whatever. Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
21:40How dare you call one of us low?
21:43I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
21:48I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
21:53And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
21:57Not with me around.
21:59I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
22:04You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
22:09You're a fucking delusion, Angela.
22:11We've had enough of your games.
22:13Security! Break their limbs and toss them out.
22:17Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
22:20But don't worry. You got new money.
22:25I can handle myself, thank you.
22:27Yes, my queen.
22:29You're all despicable.
22:32An insult to your family names.
22:37Now, it's my turn to rule.
22:40Destroy Jared Cooper.
22:43Cut off all business ties.
22:46And if you don't,
22:49I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
22:54I knew it.
22:55You're here to fuck with me.
22:57You can't fool anyone here.
22:59How much money did you spend on that get-up and to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
23:03You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
23:07You have nothing and you will always be nothing.
23:11She's a gold digger.
23:14Gold digger?
23:15Gigolo.
23:17Wanna try me for a night?
23:20Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
23:22Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
23:25They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
23:28Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
23:30She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
23:33Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi chef!
23:35Security!
23:40Security!
23:42You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
23:45And now you're trying to throw a coup?
23:48You!
23:50Insolent fools.
23:52Let me guess.
23:53You're that special guest?
23:56I don't know.
23:58Throw them out!
23:59And not without some broken bones, too.
24:08Back down, Max.
24:13I got this.
24:15I got this.
24:41What the hell are you two doing here?
24:43I thought we were supposed to guard you.
24:45No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
24:48Oh my god, we're so screwed!
24:59Angela!
25:01Don't hurt her!
25:02You bitch.
25:03I've always been sick of you.
25:04You just threw yourself at me.
25:06How dare you insult my boss like that?
25:08Boss?
25:09Did you say her boss?
25:11Miss Musk?
25:12That's Ellen Musk?
25:14That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
25:16My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
25:20Their lineage is older than this country itself.
25:23Past the American Revolution?
25:25Back to the Renaissance.
25:27If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is.
25:30That's Lady Lockhart to you.
25:32She's royalty.
25:33And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
25:37What the hell did you do?
25:40Oh, your majesty.
25:43Welcome to the United States.
25:46We've always been your loyal subjects.
25:49Yes, your highness.
25:51Is it queen or princess?
25:53It doesn't matter.
25:55My queen, please forgive our insolence.
25:58We didn't mean to offend.
26:01What are you doing, you idiot?
26:03Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
26:10What rightfully belongs to you.
26:32She's a badass herself.
26:34He missed out on a good wife.
26:36He missed out on a good wife.
26:38You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
26:42Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
26:45No, no, don't believe their lies.
26:47I worked hard for everything.
26:49You worked for everything?
26:57So, our 30th anniversary is coming up.
27:00And I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
27:03I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
27:05I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project.
27:08And if I get it, I can take the company public.
27:18You were nothing before me.
27:21All your achievements, all your glory.
27:24That's all mine.
27:26Including the Maple Plaza contract.
27:29I can take all of that away.
27:32Just like that.
27:34No, you can't take that away from me.
27:36That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
27:40Oh, and this antique wedding ring.
27:44Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
27:46It was Queen Victoria's, and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
27:56Oh, no.
27:58I gave you back the ring.
28:00I divorced a royal heiress.
28:02No, no, please.
28:04No, no, please take me back, baby.
28:07I still love you.
28:12Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
28:15No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
28:23God, these two again.
28:25Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
28:28President Eisenhower's the senator.
28:30After General Eisenhower won World War II,
28:32each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
28:36the highest rank in the nation's military.
28:38Bloody buffoons know your history.
28:40Sorry I'm late, babe.
28:41I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
28:43Then lost again on my way back to New York.
28:49And that there is, that is the legendary Boy Change's Dr. Wilson.
28:55He's Dr. House's protege.
28:57Dr. House?
28:58I thought that was just a TV show.
29:00Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
29:02Yep, that's me.
29:03Son of James House.
29:05Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
29:07I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
29:11So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
29:17And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
29:22Hey, Ellen.
29:23Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
29:26Uh, they're all your fiancées.
29:29What?
29:31Fiancées?
29:35Fiancées?
29:36Plural?
29:38Watch it, nurse.
29:39I'm her fiancée.
29:40No, I'm her fiancée.
29:42You can both shut up.
29:43I'm her fiancée.
29:45It's you.
29:46It's me.
29:47Who the hell is he?
29:48I'm her fiancée.
29:49It's me.
29:50Who the hell is he?
29:51I'm Spider-Man.
29:53How are all three of these men my fiancée?
29:58Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
30:01but I didn't tell you because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
30:05She has three badass fiancées and she marries his dumb ass.
30:12Whatever.
30:13Since you're all here, help me finish him.
30:17At your service.
30:19Me too.
30:25One down, two more to go.
30:27She's become queen.
30:28Bishop to G4.
30:34Ow, ow, ow.
30:35What is that?
30:37The most germ-infested water in the Nile River.
30:40Ah!
30:41Rook to A8.
30:47Hello?
30:50I thought I was king.
30:51No, you wish.
30:52The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
30:56Oh, fine.
31:01They corrupt the Fords for a living.
31:03I'm going to be king.
31:04I'm going to be king.
31:05I'm going to be king.
31:06I'm going to be king.
31:07I'm going to be king.
31:08I'm going to be king.
31:09I'm going to be king.
31:10They corrupt the Fords right this second.
31:17I...
31:19I've been bankrupt!
31:20No!
31:28I've been bankrupt!
31:29No!
31:31I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
31:35Well, guess what?
31:36Game over.
31:37All right, boys.
31:38Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
31:41Oh, that's serious business.
31:43I'm right with you.
31:46Wait for me.
31:47Nobody beats me to the finish line.
31:58Angela!
32:01You already have three fiancés?
32:04You can't accuse me of cheating.
32:06I want compensation.
32:11You greedy SOB.
32:13Who the fuck is that?
32:14My ex-husband.
32:16Wait, you were married?
32:18Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
32:23More for me.
32:24No, no, of course not.
32:25Just...
32:26Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
32:29Don't steal my joke.
32:30I can make him disappear without a trace.
32:32All the evidence of your past with him is gone.
32:36What?
32:37Is there something on my face?
32:38Uh, yeah.
32:39Murderous intent.
32:41Let's remarry.
32:43Let's remarry.
32:45You still don't realize.
32:47I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
33:07Sir.
33:10Sir.
33:17Sir, it's an emergency.
33:19We need to wreck right away.
33:21Ecole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
33:25Okay, I'm on my way.
33:29She should be okay now.
33:34Hey, you!
33:36Watch over her. I'll be right back.
33:46You saved me.
33:50Fuck. I unwittingly gave away my own wife.