Convy-Barnes-OB-KC (Last ep), 9/6/68
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00:00♪♪
00:11♪♪
00:18Oh, hi, I'm Chuck.
00:21And to tell you the truth, if there's anything that is Y2K-proof, it is to tell the truth.
00:27It first appeared in 1956 and was seen on network television as recently as 1991.
00:33Wow!
00:34Bud Cotter spent 12 years asking the real Mr. So-and-so to please stand up.
00:39And stand up they did, all the way to Bud's final show on September 9, 1968.
00:45This show features the grand dame of To Tell the Truth, Miss Kitty Carlisle,
00:50who is still a force to be reckoned with and a great fraud.
00:53I predict that if the earth is laid to waste tonight, the sole survivor will be...
00:59Kitty Carlisle!
01:00Enjoy!
01:04To tell the truth is proud to present one of the great actresses of our time,
01:09ladies and gentlemen, Miss Eileen Hecker.
01:24And I'd like to introduce you to the best insurance agent in all of Connecticut, my husband Jack Yankee.
01:31Is this Jack Yankee?
01:33Is this Jack Yankee?
01:35Or is this Eileen Hecker's husband Jack Yankee?
01:39Well, we'll soon find out as they try to fool this panel.
01:42Bert Convy, Joanna Barnes, Orson Fiend, Kitty Carlisle,
01:48plus 100 of the people in our studio audience on To Tell the Truth.
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04:21You won't have another opportunity like this in a thousand years.
04:25And now, here's our host on to tell the truth, Bob Sawyer!
04:45Thank you very much.
04:46Boy, it's a great personal thrill for me to just sit here alongside a violin.
04:53Because in my estimation, she's really one of the great, great young actresses.
04:57Here, here.
04:59It's an honor.
05:00Thank you, darling.
05:01We're delighted at our show.
05:02You're a pussycat.
05:04That honor.
05:05Let's start the first part of our game this time with Kitty Carlisle.
05:08Thank you, Bob.
05:09Well, it's a wonderful thing to have you and delighted to see you here.
05:12Can you tell us how you met Miss Bianchi?
05:15At Ohio State University.
05:17What were you doing there, both of you?
05:19Going to school.
05:21Bert Cosby.
05:26Beautiful.
05:27I wanted to know what you were studying.
05:29Bert, your husband's name is Yankee.
05:31Is he a Connecticut Yankee?
05:33I guess you get that all the time.
05:34You have children, don't you?
05:35Yes.
05:36I know you do because we commiserated once.
05:37What do you have?
05:38You have boys.
05:39Three.
05:40Three boys.
05:41Yes.
05:42Big ones.
05:43Eight, 14, 16.
05:44Joanna!
05:45Isn't it terribly difficult raising a family while you're, you know, busy on the road
05:49and stuff like that?
05:50No.
05:51No?
05:52Just, I have a lovely husband, a beautiful nurse.
05:57I wonder about that.
06:00What's the next thing you're going to be seen on Broadway?
06:04Well, I do have a new play, but the producer hasn't announced it.
06:07I better not say.
06:08You better not say.
06:09It's a comedy, and I play a 77-year-old Jewish lady.
06:12That's all I can say.
06:15Beautiful.
06:16Kitty?
06:17Who disciplines the children, Miss Heckert?
06:19You or your husband?
06:20Jack's better at it than I am because he's more consistent.
06:23Ah, that's a very good thing.
06:26Bert?
06:27What do you do for relaxation?
06:29Stay home.
06:30Sleep.
06:32Joanna?
06:33Are any of the kids interested in theater?
06:35The middle boy.
06:36Really?
06:37Has he worked professionally?
06:38Well, just to get his bicycle.
06:40He wanted a 10-speed bike, and I said, you've got to go to work.
06:43You know, $78.
06:44We're not putting out any more for bicycles.
06:46We've had 14.
06:48So I got him a job on up-and-down staircases and extra.
06:52Good, good.
06:53Eileen, who makes you more nervous to have out in the audience,
06:56Walter Kerr of the New York Times or your husband?
06:59Jack doesn't make me nervous.
07:01I just block him out.
07:02It would be Walter Kerr if I had to say.
07:04I can't think about any of them on an opening.
07:07Kitty?
07:09Has your husband ever been interested in the theater?
07:12Only in college, in executive capacity, as far as the drama group.
07:17And that's it.
07:18End of our first part of our game.
07:20So you've learned a little more about Eileen and her husband, Jack Yankee.
07:24Let's ask the gentleman in question to please come in from the soundproof room.
07:34All right, panel.
07:35See if you can find out which of these gentlemen is married to Eileen Hecker.
07:38Then we start the questioning with Joanna Barnes.
07:40Joanna?
07:41Number one, where did your son make his movie debut?
07:46Oh, the movie that I did, Up the Down Staircase.
07:49Number two, actresses sometimes bring their work home with them in an emotional sense.
07:55What has been your wife's most difficult role for you to bear?
08:00I do not have that problem with Eileen.
08:02For the simple reason that most of the time when she has a show,
08:05she at least has an hour to come home in the train.
08:07She completely relaxes.
08:09Like screaming at the conductors on the train.
08:11I know how it is.
08:13Awesome.
08:14Are you relieved, number three,
08:16are you relieved on the day that Eileen closes in a show?
08:21Not really.
08:22She's great.
08:23She doesn't get carried away with it at all.
08:25She's no trouble around the house, whether it's a hit or a success.
08:28Number one, I don't feel that when I'm in a Broadway show,
08:31I get to spend as much time as I'd like to with my family.
08:34Do you care about her working in a show?
08:36A show is a very demanding thing.
08:38Well, it takes a lot of time away from our home life,
08:41but after she has been working at it three or four months,
08:45then I start to get a little nervous
08:47and want her to come home with the kids again.
08:49Kitty.
08:50Number two, Miss Hecker told us
08:52that you were better at disciplining the children than she is.
08:55Do you believe that's true?
08:57Definitely. Somebody has to be.
08:59And it's you?
09:00Definitely.
09:01Number three, how many bicycles have you bought
09:04since your children have been of bicycle age?
09:07Well, let's see.
09:08Mark is the oldest.
09:09I think he's gone through two or three,
09:11so it's at least five.
09:12Five bicycles.
09:13Yes.
09:14And number one, how long have you been married?
09:1725 years.
09:18Oh, my goodness.
09:19Well, number two, what were you studying when you met?
09:22I had no goal at that time.
09:24I was thinking of business all the way back,
09:26as far as I can remember.
09:27Bert Convy.
09:29Yes.
09:30Now, you were a Hoosier, weren't you, number three,
09:32when you met your wife?
09:33No, we were in Ohio State.
09:35Oh, then you were a Buckeye.
09:36I was a Buckeye.
09:37Son of a gun.
09:38Number one, what do you...
09:40Now, when Eileen is working,
09:42she has one day off a week, Sunday, and that's it.
09:45What do you do on that Sunday?
09:47We try to keep it pretty much to ourselves.
09:49You mean you lock the kids out of the house?
09:52No.
09:53We don't usually like to entertain on Sundays.
09:55And that's all the time we have.
09:57Mark your ballots, if you will, please, panel.
09:59Mark them at once, without change.
10:00And while you're voting,
10:01it's time for our studio audience to vote.
10:04So, audience, when I say vote,
10:06please select number one,
10:08number two,
10:10or number three.
10:11Are you ready?
10:12Vote!
10:18All right, your votes have been registered.
10:19Let's see now how our panel voted.
10:21All marked, panel, seem to be.
10:23Bert, for whom did you vote?
10:24You know, it's very interesting to see the husbands
10:26try and act like they don't care about her.
10:29I think all three of them are madly in love with her.
10:31And number one came out and looked steely-eyed at her.
10:33But it's him anyway.
10:35I don't care what he says.
10:36It's he anyway.
10:37All right.
10:38Oh, really, Bert?
10:39Do you know what a gerund is?
10:42I think it's one or two,
10:44but I picked two because I just thought he was so much fun.
10:46He might be fun to be married to.
10:48Arthur?
10:49I picked number one.
10:51Even though he's steely of eye,
10:52and now he's...
10:55That's done in a needlepoint there.
10:57Oh, I see.
10:58It's a stage door.
11:00Standing outside with flowers.
11:02Kitty?
11:03Well, I should have voted for number three
11:04because he said,
11:05it doesn't matter if the play's a hit or a success,
11:07which is a Freudian flip,
11:08a man who's married to an actress.
11:10But number two said,
11:12she's no trouble around the house.
11:13I don't think he's married to anybody for 25 years
11:15with that kind of an attitude.
11:17So I voted for number one.
11:19All right.
11:20Let's see who got the most votes from our studio audience.
11:23Our audience voted for...
11:28Number one.
11:30Eileen, I guess you may have to be the final analysis here.
11:35Go over and pick out your husband, Jack.
11:36Me?
11:37Isn't that funny?
11:48Eileen, I know it's a trite question,
12:02but we've all loved you so much
12:04and you've played so many different roles.
12:06My heavens, what a wide variety of things you've done.
12:09Is there any one that stands out as your favorite
12:12in television or theater?
12:14Oh, but I really can't say that.
12:15I enjoyed Picnic and Dark at the Top of the Stairs
12:18and I even liked the...
12:19I loved The Last Four and I liked...
12:23Oh, even The Old Ladies
12:24and Save Me a Place at Forest Lawn
12:26and there are a lot of flags.
12:28It's quite obvious that you do thoroughly enjoy
12:30everything you do.
12:31That's half of the charm of it all.
12:33And long may you wave.
12:36It's been a joy.
12:44All right, number two, what is your real name
12:47and what do you really do?
12:48My name is Harold McGann
12:49and I'm a plain old industrial salesman.
12:51Oh, a plain old industrial salesman.
12:54Thank you, sir.
12:56Number three, what is your real name
12:57and what do you do?
12:58My name is Kenneth Bott
12:59and I'm a vice president at First National City Bank.
13:06And taking the score we found
13:07that there was one incorrect vote
13:09and that's still worth $100.
13:11Thank you for the grace and charm
13:13you always bring to everything you do.
13:15And to all of you,
13:16thank you for assisting so nicely.
13:18Goodbye and God bless you.
13:25Ladies and gentlemen,
13:27our next guest on To Tell the Truth
13:28is the dean of a most unusual college.
13:31Please stand down.
13:36We'll play our game with these gentlemen
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14:39♪
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16:28weekdays at 11 a.m. Eastern, 8 Pacific.
16:31Woo-hoo!
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16:36And now let's meet our college dean.
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16:46What is your name, please?
16:48My name is Mel Miller.
16:52My name is Mel Miller.
16:56My name is Mel Miller.
16:59We'll play our game with Mel Miller in one minute.
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19:15I, Mel Miller, have spent all my life in the circus.
19:19a clown, circus press agent, and until last spring curator of the Ringling Museum of the Circus.
19:26As director of special exhibitions for the circus, I have just become director of a new college.
19:31The major subjects taught will be visual comedy, the history of clowns, pantomime,
19:37and knockabout comedy, including complete training in costuming and makeup.
19:42I am the dean of the world's first and only College of Clowns. Signed, Mel Miller.
19:49This portion of To Tell The Truth was brought to you by Skippy, a peanut butter with true
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20:08Panelists, three gentlemen all claim to be Mel Miller. Let's start the cross-examination
20:12with Orson Bean. Orson. Thank you. Number three, where does the term slapstick come from?
20:16Slapstick is an old origination from Broadway or vaudeville days. What is a slapstick? Slapstick is
20:22a visual type of comedy that's drawn out pantomime sort of thing. Isn't it anything, doesn't it come
20:27from a particular thing though, that expression, or is it just a generic term? Well, it could
20:31stem from the English clowns and the gestures which have been with us through the ages.
20:35Number one, why are there so few great clowns? You can name on one hand Grok and a few of the
20:41others. Why? I think that the young people today are not being interested in the clowns. That's
20:45why I have the school. I see. Number two, what about the commercialization? Like you go to
20:50Ringling Brothers and everybody's carrying around a tube of toothpaste. Kitty Carlisle. Number two,
20:55where is your school? At the Winter Quarters in Florida. And number one, is there a great demand
21:02for young clowns today? Great demand. We need them. Number three, does Mr. North still run
21:07the circus, John Ringling North? No ma'am. He doesn't. Number two, where is the museum?
21:15In Sarasota, Florida. Oh, thank you. And number one, when you travel with the circus,
21:19do you have your own car just for clowns or do you all travel together? No, we all travel together.
21:25We no longer travel in a sort of situation like it used to be in the... How do you?
21:32Number three, what is the prerequisite for a clown? What kind of person should you be?
21:37I don't think there's any actual prerequisite for a clown. It's just being able to do good
21:44broad pantomime comedy and make it good and visual. Number two, can a clown make a decent
21:49living today? Are they paying in peanuts? Yes, yes. He can, but only in circuses or can you
21:57work someplace else? Well, I suppose if he were good, he could work on nightclubs. I see. Number
22:05one, supposing I wanted to become a clown. I know Orson already thinks I am, but what would I do?
22:11Where would I go? Well, you would write to me, Mel Miller, Ringling Brothers Circus in Venice,
22:17Florida. Venice, Florida? Venice. Joanna Barnes. Number two, most towns like Emmett Kelly, for
22:24instance, have a gimmick, a unique trademark. How do you find these when you are teaching
22:31your pupils to become clowns? Oh, I suppose you develop that
22:37by finding out what you do best. I see. Number one, what are the exhibits in the Ringling Museum?
22:44Oh, several exhibits. Memorabilia from the past shows like the Circus War. That's all we have
22:51time for. Mark your ballots, please. And audience, again, when I say vote, please select number one,
22:56number two, or number three. Are you ready? Vote.
23:01Well, let's see how our panelists voted. Are all ballots marked? It's obvious they're not.
23:10They're not marked. Now they're being marked. All right, Bert, for whom did you vote? I think it's
23:15interesting because once we find out who the real one is, he's going to light up because he's not at
23:19home just sitting there. He wished he could jump around. Number three didn't know what a slapstick
23:23was or is, and he should have known that if he's a clown. I voted for number two.
23:27He has the proper demeanor. Joanna? Well, I also voted for number two. I think that
23:34he's right about developing the gimmick from the person's personality. Yeah, three. A slapstick is
23:39a double-edged stick that when you hit somebody in the head, it goes, and it sounds like the
23:43noise was made by his head. I voted for number two. Kitty? Well, guess what? I voted for number two.
23:52All right, we find out how our audience voted. Meet the real Mel Miller in one minute.
23:55Right now, this message. I'm Kathy Griffin of Suddenly Susan. Watch Rock and Roll Jeopardy on
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25:54Very well. Your votes are in, panel. Let's see who got the most votes from our studio audience.
25:58Our audience voted for
26:02number three. Time to find out now which of these three gentlemen is, in truth,
26:07the dean of a school for clowns. Will the real Mel Miller please stand up?
26:13Thank you, sir. I'm sure we'd all love to see what Mel Miller looks like,
26:31really. So, Mel? I really don't want to light up. I don't get any money.
26:36Thank you. And where is the circus now? Yes, by the way, we haven't mentioned that.
26:46I work for Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus, and the show is now playing in San Francisco,
26:52California. Well, great. Sounds like an exciting new job, if that's what it is for you, and much
26:57success. A very exciting one. Number one, what is your real name, and what do you really do,
27:01and what do you really look like? My name is Clark Burkhalter. I do television commercials,
27:06and it was fun anyway. Thank you. Number three, what is your real name,
27:14and what do you do, and what do you look like? Robert Ruecker. I'm an organist.
27:23Thank you. Taking the star, we find that there was only one incorrect vote,
27:28but it's still worth $100, and thanks for being with us. You lighted up our day. Goodbye,
27:33and God bless you. We'll be back to our show in one minute. Right now, this message.
27:43It's time. Time for your heartburn to kick in because your heartburn relief gave out.
27:48It happens two or more days a week, even though you've treated it and changed your diet.
27:52That frequent, persistent heartburn may be due to acid reflux disease, potentially serious.
28:00It's Prilosec time. Time to see your doctor about prescription Prilosec. Your results may vary,
28:07but for many people, Prilosec provides 24 hours of complete heartburn relief with one daily dose.
28:13Ask your doctor for more information about Prilosec and if it's right for you.
28:17The most common side effects are headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain.
28:2124 hours of complete heartburn relief is possible. It's Prilosec time.
28:33I'm afraid that's all the time we have, and ladies and gentlemen, I say that rather more heavily than
28:38usual because it is really all the time we have. This marks the last in the current series of
28:44Tell the Truth programs. It's been a rich and rewarding 12 years, thanks to you, thanks to this
28:51beloved panel, believe me. Thanks to everybody backstage and on stage, cameramen, even the cameras
28:56that kept breaking down. We thank you all because without it, it just wouldn't have been in any
29:01shape or form. It was good fun with dear friends, and until we meet again, I want to remind all of
29:07you to tell the truth. God bless you.
29:12This portion of To Tell the Truth was brought to you by fantastic disinfectant spray cleaner,
29:17the new aerosol that cleans and disinfects.
29:23To tell the truth is a Mark Goodson-Bill Cotton production, the program recorded.
29:28This is Johnny Olson speaking, and thank you for being so nice.