અમેરિકા નો ગુજરાતી America No Gujarati Navsad kotadiya new jokes 2021 jokes in gujarati
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00:00:00In America, people are so disciplined, so disciplined, so disciplined, so disciplined.
00:00:12We used to go in the car, a girl used to go in front with a cycle.
00:00:15The girl used to go in the car with a cycle and she used to put her hand out like this.
00:00:18After a while, the girl did this.
00:00:20So I asked the guy who was driving the car.
00:00:22I said, first he put his hand out, then he did this.
00:00:25What does this mean?
00:00:26I said, first he put his hand out, then he cancelled it.
00:00:29Now he doesn't put his hand out.
00:00:34What kind of a system is this?
00:00:36What kind of a system is there in America?
00:00:38In America, no one understands anything.
00:00:40In India, everyone has a system, but in India, no one understands anything.
00:00:43We used to go in the car, a girl used to go in front with a cycle and she used to put her hand out like this.
00:00:50In India, no one understands anything.
00:00:53This is true.
00:00:56In America, there are people who are very talented.
00:01:01We call them very talented.
00:01:03We call them very talented.
00:01:05We call them very talented.
00:01:07We call them very talented.
00:01:15One day, I told Google,
00:01:17Hey Google, free dinner in 5 star hotel.
00:01:20Google replied, do you look like a Gujarati?
00:01:24Are you a Gujarati or a free goatee?
00:01:28We went to a hotel in America.
00:01:30A couple was standing on the floor.
00:01:32I was scared.
00:01:33I asked, do you know these people?
00:01:35I said, I don't know them, but they must be Gujaratis.
00:01:37I asked, why did you say that?
00:01:39I said, you will know.
00:01:40I asked, how did you know that they are Gujaratis?
00:01:43I said, they must be Gujaratis.
00:01:45After taking food, they cover their faces with a tissue paper.
00:01:49So, they must be Gujaratis.
00:01:52They cover their faces with a tissue paper.
00:01:56And the mall is very big.
00:01:59On Black Friday, we used to go to the mall.
00:02:02We used to go to the mall.
00:02:04As we were going out, a Gujarati man recognized us.
00:02:07He asked me, did you take anything?
00:02:09I said, yes.
00:02:10He said, I didn't see anything.
00:02:11I said, did you take a selfie?
00:02:17One of my friends asked me, how is it cold in America?
00:02:20I said, I don't know how to explain it.
00:02:22He said, I don't know how it is cold in America.
00:02:24I said, it is so cold in America,
00:02:26that at night, when you wake up,
00:02:29you feel like eating ice cream.
00:02:31So, he stopped eating ice cream.
00:02:33He said, we don't eat ice cream.
00:02:35It is so cold in America.
00:02:38And it rains here.
00:02:39It doesn't rain here.
00:02:40It rains here, no matter what.
00:02:41When it rains here,
00:02:42when it rains in America,
00:02:43you see, when it rains here,
00:02:44people become very romantic.
00:02:46When it rains here, they become so romantic.
00:02:48They enjoy the rain.
00:02:50They become romantic.
00:02:51They say, wow, good weather.
00:02:53They become very romantic.
00:02:55And when it rains here,
00:02:56they say, hey, the light is gone.
00:02:59When it rains here,
00:03:00hey, the light is gone.
00:03:01They enjoy it here.
00:03:03And what is the difference?
00:03:05When it rains here,
00:03:06when it rains in America,
00:03:07I am an American wife,
00:03:08I know,
00:03:09I want to go on a long drive.
00:03:11I want to go on a long drive.
00:03:14And when it rains in London,
00:03:16what do they say?
00:03:17Let's make a new Vangi and eat it today.
00:03:19And when it rains here,
00:03:21I am a housewife,
00:03:22I know, tie my clothes,
00:03:23where do I hang them?
00:03:25They tie my clothes.
00:03:32And they say,
00:03:33when it rains here,
00:03:34Coca-Cola and Coke.
00:03:36They say Coca-Cola and Coke.
00:03:39So we went to a place.
00:03:40So I said,
00:03:41let's go, Naushad Bhai,
00:03:42let's eat.
00:03:43So I said, let's eat.
00:03:44They said,
00:03:45will you eat with Coke?
00:03:46I said,
00:03:47do you want to eat with Coke?
00:03:48They said,
00:03:49no,
00:03:50they say Coca-Cola and Coke.
00:03:56So I said,
00:03:57will you eat with Coca-Cola?
00:03:58They said,
00:03:59why do you speak in Urdu?
00:04:00Speak in English.
00:04:01Some people speak in Urdu.
00:04:02Their culture is different from America.
00:04:04They eat standing up,
00:04:05they don't stand up.
00:04:07If they come,
00:04:08they say hi.
00:04:09If they go,
00:04:10they say bye.
00:04:11They work very hard here.
00:04:12Their culture is different.
00:04:16I asked a brother in America,
00:04:18Bhai,
00:04:19what was your father like?
00:04:20He said,
00:04:21like this.
00:04:22I said,
00:04:23why like this?
00:04:24He said,
00:04:25when I go,
00:04:26I am the same.
00:04:27When I come,
00:04:28I am the same.
00:04:29When I go,
00:04:30I am the same.
00:04:32There is a lot of hard work in America.
00:04:36Many people say,
00:04:37there is a lot of hard work in America.
00:04:38And the Gujaratis who say,
00:04:40they have come out of Gujarat,
00:04:41whether it is America or any other country,
00:04:43they have come out of Gujarat,
00:04:45but from their heart,
00:04:46Gujarat has not gone out yet.
00:04:48They love Gujarat so much.
00:04:50They still love the program of Gujarati artists.
00:04:53They love it so much,
00:04:54because from their heart,
00:04:56Gujarat has not gone yet.
00:04:57It will not go any day.
00:04:58Because from their heart,
00:04:59Gujarat is still in full swing.
00:05:00These are the Gujaratis.
00:05:02And there are Gujaratis all over the world.
00:05:04They are like donkeys.
00:05:06If you go to America,
00:05:07you will see motels,
00:05:09hotels,
00:05:10motels,
00:05:11pumps,
00:05:12gas pumps,
00:05:13these are all Gujaratis.
00:05:15You will see,
00:05:16there are a lot of Gujaratis.
00:05:17They have kept puris outside.
00:05:19That is why,
00:05:20Jalali is a Gujarati.
00:05:22A Gujarati is a Gujarati.
00:05:24If you see a Gujarati,
00:05:25you will die.
00:05:26These are the Gujaratis.
00:05:27If you live abroad,
00:05:28these are the Gujaratis.
00:05:32A brother told me,
00:05:33our system is like this,
00:05:35in America,
00:05:36as much as a husband earns,
00:05:37the same amount
00:05:38his wife earns.
00:05:40And as much as a husband earns,
00:05:41the same amount
00:05:42his wife earns.
00:05:43As much as a wife
00:05:44earns,
00:05:45the same amount
00:05:46her husband earns.
00:05:47I told him,
00:05:48we will lose.
00:05:49If we don't do anything here,
00:05:50we will earn the same amount.
00:05:52We will earn the same amount.
00:05:54He is a teacher.
00:05:57We were standing at the airport.
00:06:00There was a long queue at the airport.
00:06:02They speak a lot of English.
00:06:04They don't know English.
00:06:05We were standing at the airport.
00:06:07A girl came to us.
00:06:09She said,
00:06:10kiss me.
00:06:11At that time,
00:06:12I had a chest pain.
00:06:13I said, kiss me.
00:06:14The boy said,
00:06:16excuse me.
00:06:21I told him,
00:06:22in Gujarati,
00:06:24he said,
00:06:25excuse me.
00:06:26I told him,
00:06:27we know our language.
00:06:29There is nothing other than our language.
00:06:30We spoke in our language.
00:06:32We were standing at the airport in Paris.
00:06:34A boy came to us.
00:06:36He asked us in English.
00:06:37We didn't understand anything.
00:06:38Then he spoke in another language.
00:06:40It was French.
00:06:41We didn't understand anything.
00:06:42Then he spoke in Portuguese.
00:06:43We didn't understand anything.
00:06:45Then he spoke in Chinese.
00:06:46He spoke in four or five languages.
00:06:47We didn't understand anything.
00:06:48He said,
00:06:49ya, ya.
00:06:50I had a brother.
00:06:52He said,
00:06:53if we learn a few languages,
00:06:54it will be useful.
00:06:55I said,
00:06:56he knew four languages.
00:06:57It will be useful.
00:06:58Our language is great.
00:07:00What can we do with our language?
00:07:02Our language is great.
00:07:03There is nothing other than our language.
00:07:04We have to enjoy our language,
00:07:06which we know.
00:07:07What can we do with it?
00:07:08What else should we speak?
00:07:09If we can't,
00:07:10if we can speak,
00:07:11it is a blessing.
00:07:12If we can't,
00:07:13what should we speak?
00:07:14Sometimes,
00:07:15it is like this.
00:07:18In Surat,
00:07:19there is a place called Buriyo.
00:07:20Buriyo is in London.
00:07:21It is in Buriyo.
00:07:23I had to take a bath in a hot river.
00:07:24Look, it's Buriyo.
00:07:25I had to take a bath in the hot river,
00:07:26in the water of Tana.
00:07:27In Tana,
00:07:28the sound Buriyo delivered was,
00:07:29Khamon,
00:07:31Khamon,
00:07:32Khamon,
00:07:33Khamon.
00:07:34Then,
00:07:35there was a Khamon hall.
00:07:36There was a person named Khamon.
00:07:38He tied a wood stick
00:07:39and asked,
00:07:40do you have 250 grams of Khamon?
00:07:41They said no,
00:07:42we have only Sev.
00:07:43Sev.
00:07:44We all stood together and said,
00:07:45now,
00:07:46tell me.
00:07:47I had to die,
00:07:48so I ate Sev and Khamon.
00:07:49I don't want to show it to my sister, she will say, save it.
00:07:54In my society, in Doshi, they talk.
00:07:57They say, Naya in Ganga, Naya in Godavari,
00:08:00Naya in Gomti, Naya in Jamuna.
00:08:03So I said, why is Naya in Jamuna?
00:08:05I said, they took it to Tadhupani.
00:08:07Then I came to know that Naya was in Tapinadi.
00:08:10And in Jamuna, in Doshi, he was not Naya.
00:08:13It's true, brother.
00:08:14Sometimes you get confused.
00:08:19When I went to Atlanta, a sister was staring at me.
00:08:23I said, sister, why are you staring at me?
00:08:25Have you seen me on YouTube?
00:08:27In Comedy King?
00:08:28She said, no.
00:08:29I said, have you heard of me?
00:08:31Do you know me?
00:08:32She said, no.
00:08:33Then I said, why are you staring at me?
00:08:35She said, your face is just like my hand.
00:08:42I met a sister.
00:08:43She said, do you know me?
00:08:45I said, no.
00:08:46She said, weren't you at my house 15 days ago?
00:08:48I said, sister, I didn't recognize you.
00:08:50She said, did you forget?
00:08:51I said, we used to have breakfast together.
00:08:53You used to come to my house.
00:08:54We used to sit together.
00:08:55We used to have tea together.
00:08:57And you forgot me.
00:08:58I said, sister, I didn't recognize you.
00:08:59What can I do?
00:09:00She said, you came 15 days ago.
00:09:02I said, sister, you may be right.
00:09:03But your hairstyle has changed.
00:09:05So I didn't recognize you.
00:09:06She said, if I don't change my hairstyle,
00:09:08your brother will make me change it.
00:09:10So I said, I will have to change my hairstyle.
00:09:12Otherwise, your brother will make me change it.
00:09:14So I agreed, brother.
00:09:18Someone came to me and said,
00:09:19Brother, there is Trump in America.
00:09:21I said, we have a bomb.
00:09:27Someone came to me and said,
00:09:28we are in America.
00:09:29Years ago, we had a phone.
00:09:30I said, how did you know?
00:09:32He said, when we dug the ground,
00:09:33a wire came out of it.
00:09:35I said, we had a mobile phone years ago.
00:09:37He said, how did you know?
00:09:38I said, we came here and searched everywhere.
00:09:40We couldn't find it.
00:09:41How did you know?
00:09:42If there is a mobile phone, there is a phone.
00:09:44Someone came to me and said,
00:09:45we get married by email in America.
00:09:47I said, we get married by email in America.
00:09:49Now, there is email,
00:09:50but there is no mail in our minds.
00:09:53There is email, but there is no mail in our minds.
00:09:57There is a miracle in this miraculous world.
00:09:59It is a poet's writing.
00:10:00I don't know his name.
00:10:02There is a miracle in this miraculous world.
00:10:05We have to shoot arrows.
00:10:07We have to save the birds.
00:10:09We have to shoot arrows.
00:10:10We have to save the birds.
00:10:42I said, why don't you ride a cycle?
00:10:43He said, my cycle is in the ditch.
00:10:44I said, and he called it a ditch.
00:10:45But sir, if you look at it now, only two people are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:46One is running because he wants to lose weight, and the other is running because he wants
00:10:47to put something in his stomach.
00:10:48These two people, these two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:49And what is yours?
00:10:50These two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:51And what is yours?
00:10:52These two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:53And what is yours?
00:10:54These two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:55And what is yours?
00:10:56These two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
00:10:57And what is yours?
00:10:58These two groups are running on the road in Havarnapur.
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