Darby finds herself in trouble with the law, and is sentenced to house arrest. Now she must serve 30 days in the home she used to share with her ex-boyfriend, that he now shares with his new fiancee HD ( Comedy )
Darby finds herself in trouble with the law, and is sentenced to house arrest. Now she must serve 30 days in the home she used to share with her ex-boyfriend, that he now shares with his new fiancee HD ( Comedy )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00What the?
00:00:05Hmm. Yeah, we're going to need to go ahead and sterilize this.
00:00:10Whistling
00:00:16Just a simple chest infection. She'll be fine with some rest.
00:00:20Well, that's a relief. Looks like the Bible retreat is back on, Taylor.
00:00:24You know how I love Jesus.
00:00:26A retreat, huh? Well, that'll be nice for you.
00:00:29A little time alone to yourself in the house.
00:00:31Robin?
00:00:34Oh, yes.
00:00:37Her symptoms seem consistent with vasculitis.
00:00:40Excessive tiredness rash under the skin.
00:00:42I said she's going to be fine.
00:00:44She's just a teenager. They stay up late, get a little acne, that's all.
00:00:47Um, no. I have a very strict skin care regimen that does not include breakouts.
00:00:52See, that's funny because I happen to see the beginnings of a giant pimple right there.
00:00:56What?
00:00:59Darby, can I speak with you in the hallway for just a moment, please?
00:01:06How dare you interpret my diagnosis in front of a patient?
00:01:09Shouldn't we at least give her anti-inflammatories?
00:01:12Who do you think you are?
00:01:14So she doesn't get pneumonia.
00:01:16You just follow my orders, and her stick's in her. You find yourself another job.
00:01:21Hi. Sorry about that.
00:01:23No worries.
00:01:24Small miscommunication.
00:01:26Yeah. All right. So everything's fine.
00:01:28Everything is great.
00:01:30I love to do follow-ups. It's my personal tradition.
00:01:32I love it.
00:01:33Yeah.
00:01:52Diagnosing on our own again?
00:01:54No.
00:01:56Well, if Ivy Lee has had this wrong diagnosis, then yes.
00:02:01You know, there are procedures to follow in disagreeing with a doctor's orders.
00:02:04Yeah. Well, again, I don't follow procedures when they're wrong.
00:02:08Oh, I'm aware. But your patient has already left with her mother.
00:02:11What?
00:02:12Yeah. So put the pills back before you get caught.
00:02:15Oh.
00:02:17You know what?
00:02:18What?
00:02:19You are such a good friend.
00:02:21Uh-huh.
00:02:22Which is why you're going to get me the address for that patient.
00:02:25Oh, no.
00:02:26Yeah?
00:02:27You owe me.
00:02:28For what?
00:02:29Prostitute at the memorial service.
00:02:32Oh.
00:02:33I'm going to pee.
00:02:34Yeah.
00:02:35And then I'll be back for that address.
00:02:36Love you. Bye.
00:02:37On it.
00:02:38Fuck!
00:03:08Jesus, I'm stuck.
00:03:12Don't get me out.
00:03:14Don't get me out of here.
00:03:16Don't get me out of here.
00:03:20Don't get me out of here.
00:03:24Don't get me out of here.
00:03:28We're never watching it.
00:03:32Jesus was a fucking feminist, man.
00:03:35What?
00:03:52Ma'am, can you get out the car, please?
00:03:57Are you God?
00:03:58No, I'm not God. I'm a man.
00:04:01You got to get me out of here.
00:04:05No, please don't try to climb.
00:04:07Nope. Just come out.
00:04:08No, down, down, down, down, down.
00:04:10Down there.
00:04:11No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:04:12I don't do that with a stranger.
00:04:13No, no, no, no.
00:04:14Okay, there we go.
00:04:15Okay, I've never done that before to anybody.
00:04:17Just out the door.
00:04:18Yep, there you go.
00:04:20There we go.
00:04:21We are outside now.
00:04:25Have you been smoking marijuana?
00:04:26Yeah, man.
00:04:28I mean, no, officer.
00:04:31Buzzkill?
00:04:32It's Biskill.
00:04:33Biskill.
00:04:34Biskill.
00:04:35Biskill.
00:04:36Okay, look, my mom was a nurse,
00:04:38so I understand how long I was in stress.
00:04:40You know what I would love right now?
00:04:42A fucking fishwich, man.
00:04:44Yeah, I know doctors can be assholes,
00:04:46you know, working you all down to the bone.
00:04:48So I'm going to go ahead and let you off on a warning,
00:04:50all right?
00:04:51Really?
00:04:52Yeah, go ahead. Get out of here.
00:04:53Oh, my God.
00:04:54Yeah.
00:04:55Man, it was so awesome.
00:04:58Man, awesome.
00:05:01Hey.
00:05:02Hey.
00:05:03My car won't start.
00:05:04You think you could give it a little jump?
00:05:06Well, I can't.
00:05:08I don't know if I can.
00:05:09Go ahead and grab your bag and you can...
00:05:13What are those?
00:05:14Vitamins.
00:05:21Yeah, I'm going to have to take you to jail.
00:05:25This judge does not take any malarkey.
00:05:27So leave all the talking to me.
00:05:29Got it?
00:05:30If you have anything to say, say it.
00:05:32Now.
00:05:33Your tits are falling out.
00:05:34Oh, you made it.
00:05:35And yes, they are.
00:05:37Great. No, come forward.
00:05:38Yeah, it's like a dinner reservation.
00:05:40Yeah, if you show up a little bit late,
00:05:42we'll still see you.
00:05:43Sit down.
00:05:44Okay, so I'd like to welcome all four of you here.
00:05:48Are you lactating right now?
00:05:50Because I can see most of that nipple.
00:05:53That's inappropriate.
00:05:54It's harassing me.
00:05:56So let's get started, shall we?
00:05:58You're a pothead and a pill thief.
00:06:00You're my third today.
00:06:02So...
00:06:06Thanks, guys.
00:06:09What was that?
00:06:10Did you want to say something?
00:06:13Actually...
00:06:14No, Your Honor,
00:06:15my client has been under a lot of strain lately.
00:06:19Uh-huh.
00:06:20With her job.
00:06:21Saving lives.
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:23Just like Oprah.
00:06:24Why won't you...
00:06:25Enough, please!
00:06:26Oh, my...
00:06:27Ugh.
00:06:28Ugh!
00:06:29Ugh!
00:06:30The last case I had in here,
00:06:31I sent to county for six months.
00:06:32Is that what you want?
00:06:33No, sir.
00:06:34Sir, Your Honor,
00:06:35due to the extenuating circumstances...
00:06:37The what?
00:06:38Extenuating.
00:06:39The extenuating circumstances?
00:06:40Yes.
00:06:41Do you have some drinks in you?
00:06:43Are you drunk?
00:06:44I had a lisp when I was a child.
00:06:46Put it all together and say it normally.
00:06:48Due to the extenuating circumstances...
00:06:50Stop!
00:06:51Life is an extenuating circumstance,
00:06:53but the real facts of this case are
00:06:55she stole prescription drugs
00:06:57and broke the law.
00:06:58That makes sense, Your Honor.
00:06:59Now, if I wanted to, young lady,
00:07:01I could screw you.
00:07:02I could screw you so good right now
00:07:04your head would spin around.
00:07:06You would love it.
00:07:07Like that girl in that movie
00:07:10where she's possessed by Satan
00:07:12and spinning around
00:07:13and Max von Sydow's going like,
00:07:14The power of Christ compels you!
00:07:16The power of Christ compels you!
00:07:18The power of Christ compels you!
00:07:20The longest yard?
00:07:23The exorcist.
00:07:24Thank you.
00:07:25The exorcist.
00:07:26Okay.
00:07:27The exorcist. Thank you.
00:07:28It's a very scary movie.
00:07:29A lot of scary stuff in that.
00:07:32Uh, sir.
00:07:33Shh.
00:07:35What was I talking about?
00:07:36About how you were gonna screw me.
00:07:38Your Honor, if I may...
00:07:39You may not.
00:07:40Okay.
00:07:41This is your lucky day, Miss Dixon.
00:07:43I'm gonna give you an opportunity
00:07:45to reflect on what you've done.
00:07:47Well, I best contemplate when stones...
00:07:49Nonetheless, what you do with this gift
00:07:51is up to you.
00:07:52What's the gift?
00:07:53I'm not gonna put you in jail.
00:07:55Hmm.
00:07:56Your lawyer and her team have won today.
00:08:00I'm gonna put you under house arrest.
00:08:02You just sat there and let him sentence me.
00:08:05No, Darby, this is great news.
00:08:06How?
00:08:07Because house arrest means
00:08:08you're not locked in a jail cell.
00:08:09You don't understand.
00:08:10This is the best possible outcome.
00:08:12I don't have a home.
00:08:13Oh.
00:08:15A mobile home counts.
00:08:16I live in my car.
00:08:19Do you want the long version
00:08:20or the short version?
00:08:22Um, you know that I love you,
00:08:24but at this moment,
00:08:26I, um, love Ricky more.
00:08:29Wait.
00:08:30Are you kicking me out?
00:08:31Yeah.
00:08:32Sweet mama!
00:08:35Can I just get some money for, like, a hotel?
00:08:37Money?
00:08:38No, it's okay.
00:08:39You really want money?
00:08:40It's okay.
00:08:41Just go.
00:08:42Just please go.
00:08:44Darby, you left your oregano.
00:08:46Oh, Darby, get out!
00:08:48Get out of here!
00:08:49Sorry!
00:08:50You have a drug problem,
00:08:52and you have got to leave my house.
00:08:56So maybe you can be out by the morning?
00:08:58Okay.
00:09:06Is there nowhere you can go?
00:09:08I can stay with you.
00:09:10Oh, yeah, that's not...
00:09:13Whatever.
00:09:14Vixen!
00:09:15Yes?
00:09:16Come with me.
00:09:19Okay.
00:09:35Is it the mustache?
00:09:37I was trying to grow it in for November, but...
00:09:40Yeah, I see you've already got a head start.
00:09:44Current address?
00:09:45Listen, I'm gonna save you paperwork, okay?
00:09:484556 Sarah Street.
00:09:50Is that where you're serving your sentence?
00:09:54Yes.
00:09:56That is where I'm serving my sentence.
00:09:58Take me to there.
00:10:00Please.
00:10:05This is your monitor.
00:10:08You are not to remove it ever.
00:10:10I wanted to shake my ankles first.
00:10:12Removal of said monitor is in violation of your sentence
00:10:15and will result in immediate incarceration.
00:10:18Is the power up on a requirement for your job,
00:10:21like lesbianism, or...
00:10:22Leaving the property is in violation
00:10:24except to attend school, a vocational program,
00:10:27or going to and from work.
00:10:30No?
00:10:31No, and definitely no.
00:10:34Any other reason is in violation
00:10:36and will result in immediate incarceration.
00:10:39So no Starbucks around then?
00:10:42Ma'am.
00:10:44House arrest is a serious punishment.
00:10:47Netflix and chilling on a couch for a month
00:10:49is very cruel and unusual.
00:10:52This will explain the particulars of your stay.
00:10:55Hmm.
00:10:57Bone right up on that, sir.
00:10:59Ma'am.
00:11:00Gender neutral non-binary.
00:11:02I'm a feminist.
00:11:12All right.
00:11:15Don't get too comfortable.
00:11:17I'll be checking up on you, uh, periodically.
00:11:20I knew you had a thing for me.
00:11:22I can tell we have a connection.
00:11:249X17, 9X17, come in.
00:11:26Your sentence begins...
00:11:30now.
00:11:32I'm sorry.
00:11:33I'm sorry.
00:11:34I'm sorry.
00:11:35I'm sorry.
00:11:36I'm sorry.
00:11:37I'm sorry.
00:11:38I'm sorry.
00:11:39Your sentence...
00:11:43now.
00:11:55Jenkins!
00:11:56What's the gossip?
00:11:58Besides me.
00:12:10Ugh!
00:12:11Hey!
00:12:12God damn it!
00:12:13You scared the crap out of me!
00:12:14What do you want?
00:12:15You don't live there.
00:12:16I do now.
00:12:18Hey, are you still selling Girl Scout cookies?
00:12:20Not to you.
00:12:21Blah!
00:12:22Blah!
00:12:23That's what you are.
00:12:24Blah!
00:12:25Blah!
00:12:26Blah!
00:12:28She's so cute.
00:12:34I'm sorry.
00:12:35I'm sorry.
00:12:36I'm sorry.
00:12:37I'm sorry.
00:12:38I'm sorry.
00:12:46What is all this crap?
00:12:52Hey!
00:12:54You knew I left you somewhere.
00:13:06That's art.
00:13:09Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!
00:13:12And we're done.
00:13:17Come to mama.
00:13:18Yes.
00:13:19Yes!
00:13:22Oh.
00:13:38Oh.
00:14:03Can you pick it, Darby?
00:14:05Yeah, I can pick it.
00:14:08Oh, I want it, Darby.
00:14:29Play siege to the wrong castle.
00:14:38Yes!
00:14:39Yes!
00:14:40Oh!
00:14:41Darby?
00:14:42Oh, my God.
00:14:43You shaved.
00:14:44Darby.
00:14:45Like, a lot.
00:14:46I forgot your back while you were at it.
00:14:47What are you doing here?
00:14:48You scared me half to death.
00:14:49Do you want the long version or the short version?
00:14:50Is this like one of those home invasion booty calls?
00:14:51Wait, when did that become a thing?
00:14:52Like, I'm flattered.
00:14:53And I get it, you know, considering our history.
00:14:54But I can't.
00:14:55Oh, sorry.
00:14:56I'm sorry.
00:14:57I'm sorry.
00:14:58I'm sorry.
00:14:59I'm sorry.
00:15:00I'm sorry.
00:15:01I'm sorry.
00:15:02I'm sorry.
00:15:03I'm sorry.
00:15:04I'm sorry.
00:15:05I'm sorry.
00:15:06I'm sorry.
00:15:07I'm sorry.
00:15:08I'm sorry.
00:15:09I'm sorry.
00:15:10I'm sorry.
00:15:11I'm sorry.
00:15:12I'm sorry.
00:15:13I'm sorry.
00:15:14I'm sorry.
00:15:15I'm sorry.
00:15:16I'm sorry.
00:15:17I'm sorry.
00:15:18I'm sorry.
00:15:19I'm sorry.
00:15:20I'm sorry.
00:15:21I'm sorry.
00:15:22I'm sorry.
00:15:23You ruined up our history, but I can't.
00:15:24Oh, stop it.
00:15:25Good over yourself.
00:15:26Turn around.
00:15:27Good.
00:15:28Turn around.
00:15:29Seriously, what are you doing here?
00:15:30Well, remember that time, after we broke up
00:15:31and you said if there was ever anything
00:15:32that you could do for me?
00:15:33Wait.
00:15:34Wait.
00:15:35You just cannot stay here.
00:15:36What, got a girl coming over later?
00:15:42What, living here?
00:15:44Engaged.
00:15:45What, no!
00:15:47We've been broken up like what, two months?
00:15:49Eight, yeah.
00:15:51Well, time flies with a broken heart.
00:15:52No, no, don't do that, you broke up with me.
00:15:55And this is exactly why.
00:15:56You always make it all about you.
00:15:58I'm serious, you have to leave.
00:16:01Well, I would if I could.
00:16:04But I can't.
00:16:05So I shan't.
00:16:06Please tell me that is not some sort of...
00:16:08Oh, it's official.
00:16:09So I'm out of court.
00:16:11There's a stamp and everything, so you know it's legit.
00:16:14Oh my God.
00:16:17This is so bad.
00:16:18This is so, so bad.
00:16:19When Chloe finds out...
00:16:20Chloe finds out what?
00:16:21Nice to meet you.
00:16:22I'll be in my room.
00:16:23Good luck.
00:16:24Bye.
00:16:25Crashing with your ex, that's crazy.
00:16:38Maybe you shouldn't have given your address.
00:16:42Little crazy is good, no?
00:16:45This little snit isn't because Mo's wife-it-be is so hot.
00:16:48Oh please, she's nothing more than a rebound.
00:16:50I don't know.
00:16:51Saw her Facebook.
00:16:52Tall, blonde, reeking of homemaker.
00:16:53I know, and that's what I don't understand.
00:16:58Mo used to hate that kind of shit.
00:16:59Well, I'm sure Mo said a lot of things while you were unzipping his fly.
00:17:04Harris.
00:17:05Patient in 103 needs his manual rectum disimpaction.
00:17:09Got it.
00:17:10Is that Darby you're talking to?
00:17:12No.
00:17:13No.
00:17:14Keep Puffy at home.
00:17:17She misses me when I'm gone.
00:17:21A furry?
00:17:22You had to turn me into a furry?
00:17:24It's just such a betrayal.
00:17:26Okay, so we're back on you.
00:17:29Shh, I gotta go.
00:17:30I think they're talking about me.
00:17:31What happened?
00:17:32You know, it's Darby.
00:17:33She always finds some loophole to get her way.
00:17:35Not this time.
00:17:36Call the courthouse.
00:17:37Call the courthouse.
00:17:38Pick up the phone, Muhammad.
00:17:39Now.
00:17:40Tell them she entered her property without permission.
00:17:43That's trespassing.
00:17:44I guess we may have the worst distraught mom in this family.
00:17:48I know, honey, but it's after hours.
00:17:50They're closed for the weekend.
00:17:54The first thing Monday morning...
00:17:55Monday is a holiday.
00:17:57You hate my life.
00:18:00Honey, it's just a few days.
00:18:01We'll get through it.
00:18:02I promise.
00:18:04You don't still have feelings?
00:18:06No, God.
00:18:07No.
00:18:08I don't know if I'm thinking anything.
00:18:09You really leave me for that.
00:18:11I love you.
00:18:12We're engaged.
00:18:13Bro.
00:18:14Yeah.
00:18:15Come here.
00:18:16Come here.
00:18:18Okay.
00:18:19Fine.
00:18:20Right there.
00:18:21Right there.
00:18:22Oh, yeah.
00:18:23Right there.
00:18:24Don't move.
00:18:25Oh!
00:18:26That's new.
00:18:27Where'd you learn that?
00:18:28Did you do this with her?
00:18:30I hate this supper house.
00:18:44God, I hate this supper house.
00:19:04You little shit!
00:19:06I'm going to kill you!
00:19:08It must be that neighbor girl again.
00:19:10No, I talked to her already.
00:19:13You little shit! I swear to God, I'm gonna... Oh my God.
00:19:20Ahh!
00:19:23Do you have a hose?
00:19:27So who is it?
00:19:28Neighbor girl.
00:19:29I need a hose! No!
00:19:32Hello, Cecil. It's been a long time.
00:19:36Dentist.
00:19:38I always wondered where you would find me.
00:19:42You'll know what I'm saying.
00:19:57People.
00:19:58Let me guess. Billy McBride is on.
00:20:01If we're gonna make this work, you staying here, we need to set down some ground rules.
00:20:05Okay. Relax, Bob Saget.
00:20:08Who's Bob Saget?
00:20:10What? When Mo was growing up, Full House was like his surrogate family.
00:20:19Get the fuck out!
00:20:21What?
00:20:22Manager! Ahh! They made you manager!
00:20:27Best in Southern California.
00:20:29When have you ever wanted to manage anything?
00:20:33Can I show you something?
00:20:37Oh, oh.
00:20:41Okay.
00:20:49You think I did this?
00:20:52Obviously.
00:20:56Believe what you want.
00:21:05Love you.
00:21:10You know what happens when you take the ice cream and you get lots of frostbite?
00:21:30Sorry. That girl. Sorry.
00:21:40I'm sorry.
00:21:54Darby Dixon?
00:21:55Oh, Joe!
00:21:59Dude.
00:22:00Hmm?
00:22:01There's a slice missing.
00:22:04The contents may have shifted during delivery.
00:22:08Yeah, right under your face!
00:22:11Full disclosure?
00:22:13Yeah?
00:22:14I ate that slice.
00:22:16Really?
00:22:17Yes. But, I mean, I can get you another pie, but there's a whole form and it's on my crotch rocket out at the curb.
00:22:25It's fine. You're saving me from eating all of my feelings.
00:22:29Oh.
00:22:30Idiot!
00:22:32Ninety-six percent of Yellowstone National Park is located in the state of Wyoming, but three percent extends into Idaho and one percent extends into Montana.
00:22:47One percent extends into Montana.
00:22:51In March of 1872, Yellowstone was established by President Ulysses...
00:23:04Just follow my orders!
00:23:06Who do you think you are?
00:23:09Who do you think you are?
00:23:12Dixon!
00:23:14Ha, ha, ha!
00:23:19Nap on your own time. I gotta vacuum.
00:23:22Good. There's crumbs around everywhere.
00:23:25Eat my twat.
00:23:26I ate already.
00:23:29Come here!
00:23:33I thought you never worked weekends.
00:23:35Well, the big C called me and said something about a messy house guest.
00:23:39I'm surprised she used the word guest.
00:23:41Bitch forgot to pay me.
00:23:42Oh, I'm sorry. That was me.
00:23:44You thieving skank!
00:23:45Well, I'm a little preoccupied right now.
00:23:49Don't worry. I'll get you back.
00:23:51No worries.
00:23:52I got you.
00:23:53I know how to get more.
00:23:58This is Mo.
00:23:59Mr. Mo.
00:24:00I'm no slave. You no pay money.
00:24:03Uh, yeah, no.
00:24:04You no pay money, Mr. Mo.
00:24:06No, uh, no. Chloe handles the money.
00:24:08I no work for free.
00:24:10You Americans. You so entitled.
00:24:12You think you can exploit poor immigrant worker.
00:24:16You no fucking with me.
00:24:18No, no, no, no. I'll come back right now.
00:24:20I'm gonna come back right now and I'll pay you a bonus.
00:24:22Okey dokey, Mr. Mo.
00:24:24But don't keep me waiting.
00:24:26I hate that.
00:24:30He's so scared shitless.
00:24:32I can't believe you still do that.
00:24:34It works.
00:24:35I mean, I change the accent every time.
00:24:37He doesn't know.
00:24:39When Chloe asked me to clean her Oriental,
00:24:42Mo paid half my mortgage.
00:24:44Wow.
00:24:45So clueless.
00:24:47Go, go, go, go, go.
00:24:59Nothing is as good as a scary feeling.
00:25:16All right, let's go.
00:25:23Ow!
00:25:24Have you been to sleep, Daddy?
00:25:26Yes, but I'm awake now.
00:25:31Until you've had children, you've never really lived.
00:25:34Yeah, but you've never really lived until you've really lived.
00:25:41I loved you the first moment I set eyes on you.
00:25:43You did?
00:25:45Don't you believe me?
00:25:46Yes, that's the awful part.
00:25:48I do believe everything you told me
00:25:50about our marriage, our honeymoon, everything.
00:25:58Ah!
00:26:09I think about why I feel this way
00:26:12I think about him almost every day
00:26:15I try to change the way I feel about you
00:26:18But when I try, I see that I'm not being true
00:26:25Cause I let him get to me, but he don't let me get to him
00:26:28I let him get to me, but he don't let me get to him
00:26:31I let him get to me, but he don't let me get to him
00:26:35So, what are we doing today?
00:26:37What are you doing? No!
00:26:39Look, you don't do that.
00:26:41I'm hungry!
00:26:42Just take the whole cereal. Just take the whole cereal.
00:26:45Is it better than bacon?
00:26:47Stop! Stop! Stop!
00:26:48Help yourself.
00:26:49This is not a B&B, okay?
00:26:55Someone's touchy.
00:27:00Tomorrow, you call the courthouse and end this.
00:27:03I know you're here somewhere.
00:27:06Oh my god! Little Ganja!
00:27:09I'm so sorry.
00:27:11Hasn't been tended to enough.
00:27:14You scared the devil out of me!
00:27:16I doubt that.
00:27:18Word on the street is, you're leaving us tomorrow.
00:27:21I am, apparently.
00:27:23Wait, how do you even...
00:27:25It'll be a shame to see you leave.
00:27:26Really? You didn't feel that way when I left here earlier.
00:27:29You stopping by has been one of the best things to happen here in months.
00:27:34I mean, it has been so boring.
00:27:36I want to slip my wrist.
00:27:38Don't slip your wrist. It's way too messy.
00:27:40Plop it.
00:27:42Mom, come on. I'm going to be late for school.
00:27:47Please. Please, please, please. You have got to stay.
00:27:50They close their blinds when they're having sex,
00:27:52leaving me with nothing.
00:27:54Waste of a perfectly good telescope.
00:27:57Oh my god.
00:27:58Miss Jenkins, I think you need to go.
00:28:00Your liquor cabinet's calling.
00:28:03I freeze mine.
00:28:06You know what?
00:28:08You lived here a lot longer than that stick figure buzzkill.
00:28:12That should count for something.
00:28:14Get in the car. Get in the car!
00:28:16Are you sober enough to drive?
00:28:18That's what cruise control is for.
00:28:21I knew something wasn't right about this.
00:28:23Such a tasteful home.
00:28:25Thank you.
00:28:26So, what's going to happen to her?
00:28:28She'll spend some time in lockup.
00:28:30Where she belongs, I'm not too sure about that.
00:28:34Mom, I know what you're doing.
00:28:36Stop it.
00:28:40Impeccable timing.
00:28:43I'm Darby's lawyer, Sunny Shazzy.
00:28:45This is a stay from the courts
00:28:47regarding my client's removal from this premises
00:28:50until it has been determined who is the actual owner.
00:28:53Wait. Hold on.
00:28:55It turns out the house is personally mine.
00:28:57My client can provide two years' worth of mortgage payments
00:29:00while she was living here.
00:29:02In theory.
00:29:03Listen.
00:29:04Is this true?
00:29:05No. I didn't have a checking account,
00:29:07so she was making the payments,
00:29:09but it was my money.
00:29:11She's been broke as long as I've known her.
00:29:14All right, I'm heading out.
00:29:15No, please. Don't leave her.
00:29:17Unless she violates the rules,
00:29:19there's really nothing I can do here.
00:29:21I'll walk you out.
00:29:23Thank you, Sunny.
00:29:25Just let me get that for you.
00:29:27She's getting that for me.
00:29:33Don't give it a stressful day.
00:29:35I'm gonna go take a bath.
00:29:39No!
00:29:40No!
00:29:42Sorry, I'm so much better than you.
00:29:44Oh, my God! No!
00:29:46No, no, no!
00:29:48Now you're in my way!
00:29:50My God, when did you get so good?
00:29:52I've always been this good.
00:29:54I just didn't want Raymond to know.
00:29:59Speaking of boyfriends...
00:30:03Do you think I made a mistake leaving Mo?
00:30:05Oh, God.
00:30:07Is this like that Stockholm Syndrome thing
00:30:08where you fall in love with your captor?
00:30:10No.
00:30:11I mean, my life has fallen apart
00:30:14since I left Mo.
00:30:16And he's getting better looking.
00:30:18Ew! No, he's not getting better looking.
00:30:21I promise you he's not getting better looking.
00:30:23Oh, you're just man-deprived.
00:30:25No!
00:30:26Harris, seriously.
00:30:27Like...
00:30:29Mo says that everything happens for a reason, right?
00:30:31So there must be a reason that I'm here.
00:30:34Honey, of course there is a reason.
00:30:37It's called crime.
00:30:43Listen, dark, no offense,
00:30:45but do you really think you can compete with Chloe?
00:30:48She's like a walking trophy.
00:30:50And I'm not.
00:30:51No, no, no, look.
00:30:54If you really think you made a mistake,
00:30:57then you got to take drastic measures
00:30:59to get Chloe out of the picture.
00:31:02You mean like kill her?
00:31:04No!
00:31:05Sex appeal, darb.
00:31:07You got to use your womanly assets.
00:31:09Like maybe eat less Cheetos, take a shower,
00:31:12smoke a little less weed.
00:31:14I'll take a shower.
00:31:45Well, hello, old friend.
00:31:48Hey, Mo.
00:31:49Hey.
00:31:50Hey, you've got a little schmutz.
00:31:52Where?
00:31:53On your butt.
00:31:54Here, let me just get it.
00:31:55I can get it.
00:31:56No, it's okay.
00:31:57It's really deep and dirty.
00:31:58I just put these on.
00:31:59I almost got it.
00:32:00That's so weird.
00:32:01It's really in there.
00:32:02All right.
00:32:03I know.
00:32:04All right, that's good.
00:32:05Hey.
00:32:06You look nice.
00:32:08I know.
00:32:09I know.
00:32:10I know.
00:32:11I know.
00:32:12You look nice.
00:32:14I'm going to go for my run, so I'll see you shortly.
00:32:28Who would...
00:32:32Well played.
00:32:43It's a scam.
00:32:46Shit.
00:32:47Shit.
00:32:48I'm kidding.
00:32:49I'm kidding.
00:32:50I'm kidding.
00:32:51I'm kidding.
00:32:52I'm kidding.
00:32:53I'm kidding.
00:32:54Kidding.
00:32:56Thank God.
00:33:01What?
00:33:02You've never seen anybody assume the position before?
00:33:04No.
00:33:05Well, you look like a little troublemaker.
00:33:08Give us some time.
00:33:11Give us some time.
00:33:26So, didn't know if you wanted dainty or hardcore, so I got you both.
00:33:32Wow, the purple butterfly.
00:33:34Yeah.
00:33:35I don't know how that works, but I think you wear it.
00:33:36Oh, yeah.
00:33:37You strap it and then it goes like this.
00:33:39Oh.
00:33:40Have a good time masturbating.
00:33:42Protect your head.
00:33:44Take care of your clit.
00:33:51Oh, oh, yeah.
00:33:54I swear she wasn't this loud.
00:33:56I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you.
00:33:59Yeah, let's get this party started.
00:34:03Oh, no.
00:34:04What?
00:34:05Our engagement party.
00:34:07Oh, my God.
00:34:08With everything going on, I completely forgot.
00:34:10Everyone we know is coming over.
00:34:12How are we going to explain to Harvey?
00:34:14Fly, butterfly, fly.
00:34:17This is not good for my insomnia.
00:34:19Oh, my God.
00:34:21Sweetie, I thought we were going to take it easy with the sleeping pills.
00:34:23Oh, my God.
00:34:25Pour out your ash, Mo.
00:34:28Fuck, yes.
00:34:34Really?
00:34:35Here?
00:34:36You're banishing me to the garage.
00:34:38Oh, Mo and I think a little distance will do us all some good.
00:34:41Plus, you'll have a little space to do whatever it is you do.
00:34:45And warmly sleeping.
00:34:49Chloe!
00:34:50What?
00:34:51I'm sure it's just wine, Darby.
00:34:53Yeah, that's covered in shit.
00:34:55A resourceful girl like you, you'll figure it out.
00:34:57Huh?
00:35:01Mo's moved on, Darby.
00:35:03I suggest you do the same.
00:35:07Fuck.
00:35:12What happened? Are you all right?
00:35:14Chloe's trying to kill me.
00:35:16What?
00:35:17Just help me.
00:35:19Help? Okay.
00:35:21Just help me.
00:35:22All right, okay.
00:35:23Get it off me.
00:35:24Okay, all right.
00:35:27God.
00:35:33Out of sight, out of mind only works if you put a lock on the garage door.
00:35:37I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
00:35:39I'm telling you, sis, it's not this Darby chick you need to worry about.
00:35:42It's Mo.
00:35:43You don't know him like I do.
00:35:45All men love returning the past conquest.
00:35:48It strokes their ego about how memorable their dick is.
00:35:51Mo is not like that.
00:35:53Mo is not like that.
00:35:55He's simple, loyal, and true.
00:35:58Oh.
00:35:59You're forgetting how you two met.
00:36:03My God, the armor.
00:36:05Mo, you still have that?
00:36:08Yeah, of course I do.
00:36:09Why wouldn't I? I love that thing.
00:36:11My God.
00:36:14Do you remember that one time when we went to the Renaissance Fair
00:36:19and we had that really big breasted beer maiden
00:36:22that wouldn't leave us alone?
00:36:24Yeah, that was like a highlight for me.
00:36:28Not even just of our relationship, but of like my life.
00:36:32I wish I still had those pictures.
00:36:34You don't?
00:36:36Yeah, I know.
00:36:37Here, sit down.
00:36:38What?
00:36:39Sit down.
00:36:40Okay.
00:36:43Oh my God.
00:36:45Mo.
00:36:47I can't believe you still have this.
00:36:50This is worse than a sex tape.
00:36:52What? I thought you liked the Ren Fair.
00:36:54Yeah, I did, but it wasn't exactly what I was talking about
00:36:56when I said we should role play.
00:37:00Speaking of, you still doing that King Arthur shit?
00:37:02Yeah.
00:37:03You should try it. It's kind of fun.
00:37:05Is it hot getting banged by a knight?
00:37:08It is hot, but armor is pretty sharp,
00:37:11so you gotta watch the nipples.
00:37:13So, Lady of the Manor, where's Sir Mohammed of Fidelity now?
00:37:17Oh, he's off work today.
00:37:19So he's rescuing a maiden from the dungeon.
00:37:25Seriously, I can't believe you still have it.
00:37:27Why not?
00:37:28I don't know, Chloe.
00:37:30I'm sure she snoops around.
00:37:32Oh, no, see, that's why I keep it in a folder called Receipts 2012.
00:37:36Ah.
00:37:38You slide on.
00:37:42Did you ever keep anything from me?
00:37:45Um, you know, I mean...
00:37:53Well, at least you're consistent.
00:37:56About what?
00:37:58All this.
00:38:01What, like Chloe and everything?
00:38:03Yeah.
00:38:04Yeah, no, that's actually, that's called committing,
00:38:07which is something that adults do.
00:38:09Yeah, but not to your rebound.
00:38:11That... she's not a rebound.
00:38:14Oh, no?
00:38:15No.
00:38:17Well,
00:38:20then I say you should prove it.
00:38:25Okay.
00:38:26I think that you should kiss me just once,
00:38:30and if you feel nothing, then I will never bring it up again.
00:38:35I will never bring it up again.
00:38:39I don't think that's going to prove anything, really.
00:38:42No?
00:38:43I mean, you were saying that everything happens for a reason, right?
00:38:47Yeah.
00:38:49So, there has got to be a reason that I'm here.
00:38:52Yeah, I'm being punished.
00:38:55Oh, yeah?
00:38:56Or you're just being reminded about how good we were together.
00:39:03And that you and Chloe...
00:39:08Don't say goodbye.
00:39:14There you are!
00:39:16Hi, what are you doing home?
00:39:18You weren't answering your phone.
00:39:19Oh, yeah, I guess it was on silent.
00:39:22I was just helping Darby get this mattress in here,
00:39:26so she could sleep in here.
00:39:29So, we're done with that, so you're good, yeah?
00:39:31Yeah.
00:39:32How was your day? I missed you.
00:39:35I missed you, too.
00:39:36Yeah, that's right.
00:39:39I can't believe it's working.
00:39:41Yeah, I didn't think you had it in you.
00:39:43Yeah, but here's the thing.
00:39:45Chloe is the ultimate twat block.
00:39:47Every time I get close to Mo, she just appears.
00:39:50She's like a fucking STD.
00:39:52Looks like we're going to have to move on to phase two.
00:39:55Which is what?
00:39:56Instead of building you up.
00:39:58You have to tear her down.
00:40:00Okay, tear her down like Becky with the good hair.
00:40:03Yes!
00:40:06Oh!
00:40:26The accuser becomes the accused.
00:40:36MUSIC
00:40:49Oh, you buttered Godfella.
00:40:51You're cheating a whore.
00:40:54Mo, your girl is stuffing her muffin with...
00:40:59mystical ponies?
00:41:06Almost complete.
00:41:08Oh, my God.
00:41:10This is so much worse than infidelity.
00:41:14Gotcha.
00:41:20A sleepwalking shopaholic binge eater?
00:41:23Yeah, she's a real housewife in the making.
00:41:25She'll just say anything to cause trouble, huh?
00:41:27Yeah, but it's still true.
00:41:29Mo, she has a sleeping pill addiction.
00:41:31How do you know about that?
00:41:32What? It's not like I have any experience in emergency medicine.
00:41:35Well, I'm handling it.
00:41:37Have you looked in your guest bedroom closet?
00:41:39Darby, stop, all right?
00:41:41She agreed that she would quit as soon as she gets pregnant.
00:41:45Yeah, we both want kids, so we're trying.
00:41:48Pregnant?
00:41:49Wait, Mo, what about you and I?
00:41:51We almost kissed.
00:41:53Almost, almost means we didn't kiss
00:41:55and we're not going to kiss, so forget about it.
00:41:59We have history.
00:42:01She is nothing more than a Joanna cunt lately.
00:42:03We've been together eight months.
00:42:14That doesn't sound right.
00:42:28Hyper white trash, where am I?
00:42:59Probation office, please.
00:43:21Brianna?
00:43:23Oh, Officer Wheeler.
00:43:27Yeah, the fresh air helps me feel remorse for my crime.
00:43:31That so?
00:43:32Yeah, you know, denial to acceptance.
00:43:35Like a Lifetime movie.
00:43:37The judge would be proud.
00:43:39Yeah, we'll see about that.
00:43:43It's drug test time.
00:43:45Wait, you can just show up here and have me pee in a cup?
00:43:48You ought to know.
00:43:50You boned up on the rules.
00:43:54Yeah, let's do it.
00:43:56Got nothing to hide.
00:43:58I haven't done drugs since high school.
00:44:00You realize marijuana's a drug.
00:44:13After you.
00:44:24I already peed today, so...
00:44:29Take your time.
00:44:31I'm in no rush.
00:44:47What the...
00:44:54Problems?
00:44:56Uh, no! No!
00:44:58Come on.
00:45:01You know, you're a very lucky lady.
00:45:04I mean, most people who cop with as many pills as you have
00:45:07would be in a jail cell right now, right?
00:45:09In which case, uh,
00:45:11you'd be dropping trowel right in front of me.
00:45:14Uh-huh.
00:45:16I've always wanted to work in a women's correction facility.
00:45:21I saw this once again.
00:45:23So we're gonna do this, okay?
00:45:25You gotta be kidding me.
00:45:27So we're gonna do this, okay?
00:45:34Here we go.
00:45:36Ah! Okay.
00:45:38Ms. Dixon.
00:45:40Yeah, please open up.
00:45:44Shit.
00:45:46Yeah, ma'am.
00:45:48Ma'am, we need it in the cup.
00:45:51Sorry, it just stood up too fast.
00:45:54Okay.
00:45:55Ms. Dixon.
00:45:59Okay, okay.
00:46:01Jeez Louise, there you go.
00:46:03Nice and warm for you.
00:46:04Like a fresh-baked cookie.
00:46:08Oh!
00:46:11It's the iron in my diet.
00:46:19Keep rocking that power, Bunwheeler.
00:46:27I thought I'd buy me another week.
00:46:37Trying to get pregnant, my ass.
00:46:48I'm gonna mess with the big dogs.
00:46:50Oh, wow.
00:46:52You don't know me.
00:46:53I'm, like, nurse-like.
00:46:55But worse.
00:46:57Damn it, I know it's in here somewhere.
00:47:04Shit.
00:47:11There is a code.
00:47:15Shh.
00:47:17Shh.
00:47:19Ha ha!
00:47:20You bitch.
00:47:21Oh, Chloe.
00:47:22Breath-control pills are in the trying-to-get-preppers, huh?
00:47:25It's an old prescription.
00:47:26From yesterday.
00:47:27I don't have to explain myself.
00:47:28No, you don't, but Mo's gonna be interested.
00:47:30I will keep finding drugs in your backpack.
00:47:32Oh, that's fine. I don't care.
00:47:33I was in a sorority, Darby.
00:47:35I majored in destroying bitches who crossed me.
00:47:37Oh.
00:47:38And I worked in a hospital
00:47:40where I saw people mysteriously flatline in their sleep.
00:47:43Beep!
00:47:47Give me the pills and call it even.
00:47:49Don't call my parole officer when you have a deal.
00:47:51Don't tell Mo when we have a deal.
00:47:53Fine.
00:47:55Here.
00:48:00Is this a little housewarming gift?
00:48:02It's a garage-warming gift, yes.
00:48:04Uh, this is a chia pot,
00:48:06and you watch it grow, and then you smoke it.
00:48:09Oh, cho-cho-cho-choice, man.
00:48:12Be good to it.
00:48:13He's my little bud, so...
00:48:15Is that his name, Bud?
00:48:17Mm-hmm, yeah.
00:48:18You can visit him anytime.
00:48:20Thank you.
00:48:25Is it weird staying with your ex and his fiancée?
00:48:27Yeah, they don't belong together.
00:48:29Oh, really?
00:48:31Yeah, he just doesn't know it yet.
00:48:33Cool.
00:48:35Well, you know,
00:48:37love makes you nuts, right?
00:48:40Sure does.
00:48:46What is that?
00:48:48Oh, it's me.
00:48:50Uh, I had this pickup at a Korean barbecue,
00:48:52and, uh, I guess the smoke got in my pores.
00:48:55That smells like Kobe.
00:48:56No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:48:58No.
00:49:04Mo's favorite casserole.
00:49:06She's making Mo's favorite casserole!
00:49:09Mm, smells like...
00:49:11Chloe!
00:49:12What the hell are you doing?
00:49:13Making your favorite dish.
00:49:15With an extra dash of pubes.
00:49:16No, I shave. Completely.
00:49:18What has come over you for the love of...
00:49:20Loose lips sing ships, Chloe.
00:49:22Here, put this on. Put this on.
00:49:24So it's okay for her, but not for me?
00:49:25Pretty much.
00:49:26No, that's not true.
00:49:27Isn't it? Really?
00:49:28Someone's got a Madonna horror complex.
00:49:30Darby, stay out of this.
00:49:31Sweetie?
00:49:32She just called me a whore.
00:49:33Well, actually, that's a psychology term, so...
00:49:36It's the inability to maintain sexual arousal
00:49:39in a committed relationship.
00:49:40Believe me, Darby,
00:49:42I arouse Mo in ways you never...
00:49:44I highly doubt that.
00:49:45Do you use a finger?
00:49:46Will you shut up? Both of you, just shut up!
00:49:50Darby.
00:49:51Mm-hmm?
00:49:53How would you like to join me for dinner tonight?
00:49:55I'd love to.
00:49:56I'd love to.
00:49:57I'd love to.
00:49:58I'd love to.
00:49:59I'd love to.
00:50:00I'd love to.
00:50:01How would you like to join us for dinner tonight?
00:50:03Mo!
00:50:04Listen, we are stuck together for the rest of the month,
00:50:07so the least we can do is sit down...
00:50:11Who's this guy?
00:50:12Oh, I'm Kyle.
00:50:15I should probably get going.
00:50:16The chicken fingers and my scoot scoot
00:50:17aren't going to deliver themselves, so...
00:50:21Have a lovely evening.
00:50:23Wait, why are you going to leave so soon?
00:50:25Come here! Join the party!
00:50:27He can stay for dinner, right?
00:50:31Yeah.
00:50:37Well, aren't you two cute together?
00:50:39Don't you think so, sweetie?
00:50:41Here I was, pitying you for being alone.
00:50:45We should have done a couple's dinner sooner.
00:50:47We've been saying the same thing.
00:50:49Really?
00:50:53Oh, totally.
00:50:54You know what?
00:50:55You should tell them about what you do with your job.
00:50:57Oh, yeah, this is great.
00:50:59So it turns out that I can Bogart between 5% and 8% of every order
00:51:02and the customers have, like, no idea.
00:51:05You eat your customers' food?
00:51:07Yeah.
00:51:08Eel.
00:51:09How impressive.
00:51:10And you know what?
00:51:12You could help Chloe with her massive overspending.
00:51:15Oh, I'd love to share some tips.
00:51:17Yeah, I know my way around a tight budget.
00:51:22He does.
00:51:23What's that supposed to mean?
00:51:24Really tight budget.
00:51:25Really tight.
00:51:26Like, super tight budget.
00:51:28Yeah, that's what we do together.
00:51:31It's a joke.
00:51:32What's the joke?
00:51:33The joke is, explain the joke to me.
00:51:34No.
00:51:36Am I missing something?
00:51:37That was funny.
00:51:38This is why we broke up.
00:51:39I get it.
00:51:40Yeah.
00:51:41I get it.
00:51:44That's hilarious.
00:51:45What?
00:51:46That art piece.
00:51:47It's a social commentary on the total takeover of chain stores.
00:51:51No.
00:51:52There's a wonderful story attached to that bottle.
00:51:54They're not interested, honey.
00:51:55It's from the night we met.
00:51:57Let me guess.
00:51:58You ran into speck solutions because you needed contact lens.
00:52:01No.
00:52:02It was just from a party.
00:52:03It's no big deal.
00:52:04But, Momo, it was magical.
00:52:07Very magical.
00:52:10Don't be so bashful.
00:52:11I'll tell.
00:52:16I got you.
00:52:17I got you.
00:52:18Hey, you should try the beer.
00:52:19I put it in the soda stream.
00:52:20It's effervescent as fuck right now.
00:52:24Are you all right?
00:52:27Am I a fair lady?
00:52:28Yes.
00:52:29Why, thank you, sir.
00:52:30Oh, I'm Sir Mohammed of Ghorbani.
00:52:36My last name is Ghorbani.
00:52:37I don't know if you want Facebook me or whatever.
00:52:40Maybe.
00:52:42I can't see you.
00:52:43I dropped my contact lens.
00:52:44Oh.
00:52:46This?
00:52:50That's it.
00:52:53Allow me.
00:52:55I can't believe you carry solution with you.
00:52:57Oh, yeah.
00:52:58I work in the eye industry, so...
00:53:04May I?
00:53:05Sure.
00:53:14I will look you up on Facebook.
00:53:16Okay, great.
00:53:18And we've been inseparable ever since.
00:53:21Hmm.
00:53:22Is this a Renaissance Bar party?
00:53:24No, it was a...
00:53:25You know what?
00:53:26How about you and you?
00:53:28How did you two meet?
00:53:30I ordered a pizza.
00:53:31Sure, pizza.
00:53:32How about that?
00:53:33Yeah.
00:53:34Not everyone can have the perfect love story.
00:53:36Yeah.
00:53:37Yeah.
00:53:41What kind of pizza?
00:53:51Okay.
00:54:22Five, six, seven, eight.
00:54:24Barry's Halloween party.
00:54:26You cheating bastard.
00:54:32Barry Whitener's Halloween party.
00:54:34Damn it.
00:54:37I worked the overnight shift, so you went alone.
00:54:40It's not what you think.
00:54:41Yeah, I remember, because I had a drunken frat guy vomit all over me.
00:54:44I smelled of cheap tickets.
00:54:45It's not what you think.
00:54:46It's not what you think.
00:54:47It's not what you think.
00:54:48It's not what you think.
00:54:49I had a drunken frat guy vomit all over me.
00:54:50I smelled of cheap tequila and lime all night.
00:54:52Darby, we were arguing a lot.
00:54:54We had a fight that morning, remember?
00:54:55So you slept in more than just contact lens?
00:54:57No, we never slept together.
00:54:58Not until you moved out.
00:55:01But you were in love before, right?
00:55:07I'm so sorry.
00:55:09I wish you would have told me.
00:55:12About wanting marriage and babies and...
00:55:18Darby, honestly.
00:55:20I think I knew on some level you didn't want all that.
00:55:25Was I wrong?
00:55:30I guess not.
00:55:33I guess not.
00:55:35I guess not.
00:55:37I guess you were not wrong.
00:55:43Well, Sir Mohammed.
00:55:46Go forth.
00:55:47Multiply!
00:55:49What?
00:55:50Bingo!
00:55:51Marry Chloe.
00:55:52Have babies.
00:55:53All that stuff.
00:55:55Have little nights and nightesses.
00:55:59So we're good?
00:56:00You and me, we're good?
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:02Yeah.
00:56:04Darby.
00:56:20Thanks.
00:56:21Anytime.
00:56:26You've got to use water for that sore.
00:56:29You've got to use water for that sore.
00:56:31I keep telling you.
00:56:32No, I like spit better.
00:56:34I told you.
00:56:37Most people think that you just put the bud into the dough.
00:56:41But that's not true.
00:56:43Smells so good.
00:56:44You've got to make it in oil first.
00:56:46Well, I know.
00:56:47I wrote the book on getting over next edibles.
00:56:49Just asked my ninth grade home ec teacher.
00:56:55So good.
00:56:56So good.
00:56:57So good.
00:56:58Well, at least now you know leaving Mo is the right thing to do.
00:57:01I always knew it was the right thing to do.
00:57:03I just got confused, Harris.
00:57:04I mean, being here and just made me think about our past.
00:57:08Yeah, I'm like super jealous seeing him with another woman.
00:57:11Okay, Harris.
00:57:12That's enough.
00:57:16I love those.
00:57:17Me too.
00:57:20Well?
00:57:21Oh, my God.
00:57:23Oh, my God.
00:57:25These are so adorable.
00:57:27Now put the apron down and walk away.
00:57:30What?
00:57:31Put the apron down and walk away.
00:57:33But they're best when hot.
00:57:34That's not what I'm talking about, Darb.
00:57:36I'm talking about the self-destructive routine you fall into
00:57:38every time something goes wrong in your life.
00:57:42You are really fucking telling my prepos high, man.
00:57:45Darb, come on.
00:57:46At some point, you're going to have to face your life sober.
00:57:50What's the fun in that?
00:57:51No.
00:57:53Darb!
00:57:55Put it down.
00:57:57Fine.
00:57:58I will spend the rest of my life alone and miserable.
00:58:04At it, girl.
00:58:05Because you hate straight women.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:11Were you just making a big deal about nothing?
00:58:13Nothing.
00:58:14I'm sorry.
00:58:15What? Stop. Stop.
00:58:16Pick a time.
00:58:17Honey.
00:58:18You dated her.
00:58:19You...
00:58:20Stuck it in a few years ago.
00:58:21Oh, my God.
00:58:22You are overreacting for nothing.
00:58:24Just ask her.
00:58:25Ask her what happened.
00:58:26I don't need to.
00:58:30Must be the caterer.
00:58:32Great. Awesome.
00:58:34Oh, my God.
00:58:35Look at this awful kitchen.
00:58:38And those scrumptious pot pies.
00:58:40All right, let's keep these warm in the oven
00:58:42until they're ready to serve, okay?
00:58:57Hi!
00:58:59Come here, you.
00:59:01Give me a kiss.
00:59:03And one more.
00:59:04Oh, it's so good to see you.
00:59:05Good to see you, Mommy.
00:59:07Yeah, my boy.
00:59:09Thank you.
00:59:10So nice to see you.
00:59:11You guys...
00:59:13Oh, hi.
00:59:16The flute player.
00:59:17We spoke on the phone.
00:59:20Is your fur floutest?
00:59:22Floutest.
00:59:23Yes.
00:59:24Floutest.
00:59:25Floutest.
00:59:27Floutest.
00:59:28Welcome to our engagement party.
00:59:31Oh, my liege!
00:59:33Floutest.
00:59:34Floutest.
00:59:35Floutest.
00:59:37My lady.
00:59:40Zounds.
00:59:41Zounds.
00:59:42Oh, lovely.
00:59:43I do hope you invited some other hags
00:59:45that I might partake in such as this.
00:59:49Have a drink.
00:59:50There's some mead in the back.
00:59:51Oh, mead.
00:59:52My favorite.
00:59:54You, wench!
00:59:56Get me mead.
00:59:59I love that guy.
01:00:02Zounds is the best.
01:00:03Hi there.
01:00:04Hello.
01:00:05Nice to see you, Miss Montgomery.
01:00:07Mo, right?
01:00:09Yeah, we've met a few times.
01:00:11Yeah, remind me of your last name.
01:00:13Gorbani.
01:00:14Gorbani.
01:00:15Chloe Gorbani sounds like a brand of hummus.
01:00:19I just am not thinking that you should change your name.
01:00:23It's up to her, I think.
01:00:25I'll consider it, Mother.
01:00:49You're Chloe's sister, right?
01:00:51Yeah, I'm her sister.
01:00:54I've heard some interesting stories about you.
01:00:57If it involves happy Indians.
01:00:59It's true.
01:01:01I like to watch.
01:01:03Nice.
01:01:09Nothing's official.
01:01:10Nothing's happened.
01:01:11We haven't laid the seed yet.
01:01:14But we are starting to try to have kids!
01:01:18No, don't do this.
01:01:20Okay, okay.
01:01:22Chloe wants to keep it on the down low until it's official.
01:01:31Interesting choice of catering.
01:01:33What the hell.
01:01:34Right?
01:01:35Yes, you're just Miss Independent, aren't you?
01:01:38That's actually quite good, Mother.
01:01:43Devour that pie like you have a devouring hand.
01:01:48Like your mother's recipe.
01:01:52Thank you, my good man.
01:01:54No, don't go anywhere.
01:02:17Hello?
01:02:27Hello?
01:02:35Hello?
01:02:48Oh my God, I'm going to drop a deuce!
01:03:07Hello?
01:03:11Hello?
01:03:14Hello?
01:03:15Hello?
01:03:16Is your mouth here?
01:03:17No.
01:03:18Your mouth is here, right?
01:03:19Why did that drop?
01:03:20You want to see me walk?
01:03:21You're a grump, girl.
01:03:22That's good!
01:03:23You're going to talk to girls.
01:03:24Oh my God.
01:03:26Skirts on boys.
01:03:28Dear, I wish you had let me throw you this party at the club.
01:03:32No.
01:03:33Cheat day.
01:03:35They do such a good job.
01:03:36It is a cheat day.
01:03:37It is a cheat day.
01:03:39Flautist.
01:03:40I prefer a flautist.
01:03:41Flautist.
01:03:42I accept tits.
01:03:43Tips.
01:03:45Something like this.
01:03:54They do such a good job of keeping certain people out.
01:04:02Hello?
01:04:04Can anyone hear me?
01:04:07Get me out of here!
01:04:10Get me out!
01:04:13Hello?
01:04:16Ah!
01:04:25Oh, it's turtling.
01:04:27Oh, it's turtling.
01:04:32Oh my God.
01:04:35Okay.
01:04:36Darby, chill.
01:04:37Chill.
01:04:41Warming him up.
01:04:42Don't.
01:04:43Don't.
01:04:46Ah!
01:04:50Charlie, what have I always told you?
01:04:52Never shine a prenup.
01:04:54No.
01:04:55Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
01:04:58I think this one does.
01:04:59No.
01:05:00Your thigh gap will thank me.
01:05:03Hi.
01:05:04It's a girl in the water.
01:05:10And this.
01:05:11This is not going to be this tight forever.
01:05:13And if you keep eating, just stop putting your face like a little ciggy.
01:05:17Shut up.
01:05:18Darling.
01:05:19I'm so sorry.
01:05:20Can I steal her for a second?
01:05:21Shut up.
01:05:22Your turn.
01:05:23Shut up.
01:05:25Shut up.
01:05:26Have you seen Darby?
01:05:27Why?
01:05:28No, I just mean she hasn't crashed the party yet and it's kind of unlike her.
01:05:32Do I look like my ex-fiancee's girlfriend keeper?
01:05:36What?
01:05:37My ex-girlfriend's fiancee keeper?
01:05:40What's up with you?
01:05:41What's up with you?
01:05:43That's the question.
01:05:46Ow!
01:05:59Hark!
01:06:00For toast!
01:06:02From our good friend Moe.
01:06:04Okay.
01:06:05Yeah.
01:06:06Gramercy!
01:06:09Honey, do you want to...
01:06:11Um, so first of all, I just want to thank everyone for being here.
01:06:15Um, a lot of people ask, uh, why do you get married so quickly?
01:06:19And to them we say, go fuck yourself.
01:06:22Uh, no, no.
01:06:25Actually, we quote, uh, our favorite line from the movie When Harry Met Sally.
01:06:30I'll have what she's having.
01:06:32Blow, baby, blow.
01:06:35Me too, Mom.
01:06:36No, actually, actually, Mom, the line is...
01:06:39When you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone...
01:06:44Crest?
01:06:45Crest, that's such a stupid word.
01:06:46You want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
01:06:48Hey, use a condom!
01:06:55Well, no one tell me what the hell is going on here.
01:06:57I'm still on birth control!
01:07:09Mom!
01:07:16Does anyone know how to get shit out of armor?
01:07:26Bitch.
01:07:28Uh-oh.
01:07:49There you go!
01:07:50I've got Barry Wagner!
01:07:53To hell with you demons!
01:07:56I knew I saw Darby, you're her queer friend.
01:07:58Mom's a mother.
01:08:00Sam!
01:08:02What?
01:08:04Mom!
01:08:09Grandma!
01:08:10I want this to go home.
01:08:12Yeah, go home.
01:08:14I seriously hope you're wearing a condom.
01:08:16I'm so glad you're here.
01:08:18Honestly, I treated that guy for chlamydia last week.
01:08:22Oh my God, I never meant for those pies to be served.
01:08:25Girl.
01:08:26Yeah, seriously!
01:08:27Okay, what do you want me to do?
01:08:28I want you to help me fix it.
01:08:30Oh, honey.
01:08:32Oh my God, who's playing the flute?
01:08:34Who's playing the flute?
01:08:48They'll be bragging about these battle scars in no time.
01:08:53You actually enjoy ruining my life, don't you?
01:08:55This is all one big fucking joke.
01:08:57Mo, I don't-
01:08:58Have you ever thought, maybe if I change, things will get better?
01:09:02Have you considered that?
01:09:03I'm doing the best I can.
01:09:04You're not doing anything.
01:09:06You're doing the same old Darby shit, as always.
01:09:09How about this?
01:09:10You do you, I'll do me, and we'll leave it at that.
01:09:13This is the whole fucking problem.
01:09:14You doing you is a fucking disaster.
01:09:18I want you out.
01:09:19I want you out.
01:09:20That's it.
01:09:21Well, I can't.
01:09:23I don't care.
01:09:24I don't care about any of that shit, Darby.
01:09:27I don't care where you go.
01:09:30I'm fucking fed up.
01:09:31Just get out of my house, and my life.
01:09:34Alright.
01:09:40Fucking go!
01:09:41Bye!
01:10:01Bye.
01:10:07Wait, I thought you weren't supposed to leave.
01:10:10Kid, you gotta stop sneaking up on me.
01:10:13You're just like your mom.
01:10:15I'm just waiting for her to come home.
01:10:17Waiting for her to come home?
01:10:20Wait, doesn't she leave you with a babysitter or someone?
01:10:24Who you torture and tie up or something?
01:10:27My mom says I'm old enough to take care of myself.
01:10:30How old are you?
01:10:31Eleven.
01:10:32Eleven?
01:10:34Well, I guess my mom left me home alone at that age.
01:10:38I turned out pretty good, right?
01:10:40I'm just kidding.
01:10:41Don't turn out like me.
01:10:42I turned out very bad.
01:10:44Bad.
01:10:46So, where are you going?
01:10:49Um, county jail, most likely.
01:10:54If they can catch me.
01:10:56Why?
01:10:57Well, you were right.
01:10:59I do not live here.
01:11:04And the people that do,
01:11:08don't want me here.
01:11:09So, I am gonna go.
01:11:13When my mom doesn't want me around,
01:11:15I camp in the backyard.
01:11:18I have a sleeping bag in my garage if you want it.
01:11:21Tell me more about the sleeping bag.
01:11:24And if you tell anybody that you saw me cry,
01:11:26I swear to God I'll kill you.
01:11:28I won't.
01:11:50Oh, come on!
01:11:53Really?
01:12:06Come on! Hurry!
01:12:12Hill Hoppin' Shopaholic.
01:12:21I'm sorry.
01:12:33I didn't mean for it to get so out of control.
01:12:38The party full of stoners or your pill popping?
01:12:41Both.
01:12:43I mean, I should have known that with everything going on,
01:12:46you'd get all stressed out.
01:12:47I just thought that you getting pregnant would actually make the pill stop.
01:12:50You know, that I thought a baby would make things better.
01:12:52I did want a baby.
01:12:54And then what changed?
01:12:55I don't want to get fat before the wedding.
01:12:58I know it sounds stupid.
01:13:00I like my body the way it is.
01:13:02I know you do too.
01:13:03Yeah, I do.
01:13:04And I would like it another way.
01:13:06And no matter what I like, it doesn't matter.
01:13:07Can't we just be, like, young and free
01:13:10and have fucking hot people sex
01:13:12for like two seconds before we...
01:13:14If that's what you want, then fine.
01:13:15If that's what you want, then fine.
01:13:16Just talk to me.
01:13:17Look at me.
01:13:19Whatever you want is fine.
01:13:22Okay?
01:13:23Give me a kiss.
01:13:25Thank you.
01:13:46Thank you.
01:14:11What do you think happened?
01:14:12God knows.
01:14:16She's been out there all night.
01:14:18We should go get her.
01:14:19You sure?
01:14:21I'll make up the guest room.
01:14:28Darby.
01:14:29Darby, come inside.
01:14:30Darby, let's go.
01:14:31Come on.
01:14:33Darby.
01:14:34Let's go.
01:14:35No, you can come in.
01:14:36It's okay.
01:14:37No.
01:14:38It's fine.
01:14:39I don't want you.
01:14:40Come inside.
01:14:41No.
01:14:42Darby.
01:14:43No.
01:14:44Darby.
01:14:45I need to be responsible.
01:14:53Darby, that's something you gotta do for yourself.
01:15:03Come inside, please.
01:15:06Dry off.
01:15:08No.
01:15:09It's okay.
01:15:10I'm gonna be responsible.
01:15:13But thank you.
01:15:16And thank Chloe.
01:15:21I'm gonna be okay.
01:15:23I am.
01:15:24I'm gonna be okay.
01:15:26Yeah.
01:15:34Get it back, you guys.
01:15:35You guys.
01:15:36More ice.
01:15:37Can't get those?
01:15:38Come on, loser.
01:15:39Back.
01:15:40I need my glasses, you guys.
01:15:41I can't see without them.
01:15:42Jump.
01:15:43Come on.
01:15:45Want it?
01:15:46Yes, I do.
01:15:49Oh, my gosh.
01:15:50Give it to me.
01:15:51I got it.
01:15:52Come on, loser.
01:15:53Give it to me.
01:15:54Need these?
01:15:55Yeah.
01:15:56Back, you guys.
01:15:57That's yours.
01:16:00Grab them.
01:16:01Come on.
01:16:02Get it.
01:16:03Shit.
01:16:04What are you doing?
01:16:09Hey.
01:16:10Someone.
01:16:11Go get our mom.
01:16:13I don't know what...
01:16:21Come on.
01:16:22Do something.
01:16:24Okay.
01:16:25You.
01:16:26Give me your shirt.
01:16:27Give me your shirt.
01:16:28Give me your shirt.
01:16:29Give me your shirt.
01:16:30Give me your shirt.
01:16:31She's having an epileptic seizure.
01:16:32Okay.
01:16:33Okay.
01:16:34God.
01:16:35Please.
01:16:36Please.
01:16:37Please.
01:16:38It's okay.
01:16:39It's okay.
01:16:42Alex?
01:16:43Alex?
01:16:44Hey.
01:16:45Hey.
01:16:46Hey, you okay?
01:16:47You okay?
01:16:48Easy.
01:16:49Easy.
01:16:50Easy.
01:16:51Easy.
01:16:52Easy.
01:16:53Easy.
01:16:54Hey.
01:16:55Hey.
01:16:56You okay?
01:16:57Yeah.
01:16:58Did you forget to take your medication?
01:16:59Yeah.
01:17:01Will someone go get her mom?!
01:17:02Get out of here!
01:17:03Oh.
01:17:04That was pretty scary.
01:17:05Yeah.
01:17:06Yeah.
01:17:07That's the doctor.
01:17:08Take her to him.
01:17:09Take her to him.
01:17:10Take her to him.
01:17:11Alex.
01:17:12Alex.
01:17:13Alex.
01:17:14Alex.
01:17:15Alex.
01:17:16Alex.
01:17:17Alex.
01:17:18Alex.
01:17:19Hey, Alex.
01:17:20Alex.
01:17:21Hey.
01:17:22Hey.
01:17:23Hey.
01:17:24Hey.
01:17:25Hey.
01:17:26Hey.
01:17:27Alex.
01:17:28Alex.
01:17:29Yeah.
01:17:30Yeah.
01:17:31Thank you.
01:17:33Your ankle's beeping.
01:17:36It is, huh?
01:17:39I'm glad you had a kick-ass time, Nana,
01:17:41but it was not our intention to drug everyone at the party.
01:17:46Oh!
01:17:47You want the same pies at the wedding reception?
01:17:53Uh, let me call you back, Nana.
01:17:55Yeah.
01:18:01You can't arrest her!
01:18:03Yeah.
01:18:04Sorry, kid.
01:18:05She broke her probation.
01:18:06All right?
01:18:07It's all right, Alex.
01:18:08But she saved her life.
01:18:09Yeah, ma'am.
01:18:11It doesn't concern you.
01:18:12All right?
01:18:13Turn around, kids.
01:18:14Turn around.
01:18:15You let her go now,
01:18:16or I will bring a world of hurt down on you
01:18:18like you won't believe.
01:18:20I was in a sorority.
01:18:22Don't test me, bitch.
01:18:24Three words.
01:18:25Kappa.
01:18:26Kappa.
01:18:27Gamma.
01:18:29Don't let her go.
01:18:31She saved her life.
01:18:32Just let her go.
01:18:33Come on.
01:18:37Get out of my car.
01:18:39Get out of my car!
01:18:49Eight days.
01:18:50Plenty of time for a screw-up.
01:18:55Come on, you guys.
01:18:56Let's get out of here.
01:18:57Hey.
01:19:00Thank you for what you did back there.
01:19:03It's no big deal.
01:19:04Not a lot of people would have done it.
01:19:07You've been through enough, Darby.
01:19:13Mo is lucky to have you.
01:19:17Do you need anything?
01:19:20I'll be fine.
01:19:21Let me know, okay?
01:19:22Okay.
01:19:51I can be the best me.
01:20:21I need to let go.
01:20:22I need to let go.
01:20:23I've got to let go.
01:20:25I've got to let go.
01:20:27Not a time to give up.
01:20:29Until I grow up.
01:20:32Give Kale a try.
01:20:35I think I have some funny onions in my crotch rocket.
01:20:38If you want to hang, this is a price of admission.
01:20:46Oh my God, you didn't die!
01:20:48What?
01:20:50Oh, do you want to catch a flick tonight?
01:20:54I mean, I can't, A.
01:20:57And B, I'm really not in the mood.
01:21:00Oh, do you want to rant about Mo some more?
01:21:02That's fun.
01:21:03No, I'm over that.
01:21:04Okay.
01:21:05Really?
01:21:06Yeah.
01:21:07No, that's healthier.
01:21:08It's good.
01:21:09Yeah.
01:21:11I actually think I'm going to head in.
01:21:16Oh.
01:21:17Sleep.
01:21:18It's a good thing.
01:21:19Are you okay?
01:21:20You seem different.
01:21:21I'm just figuring some stuff out.
01:21:25Coming by too often, aren't I?
01:21:27Why do boys always think this?
01:21:29No.
01:21:30It has nothing to do with you, I promise.
01:21:32My mommy loved me.
01:21:33Yeah, okay.
01:21:35Leave the bowl when you're done.
01:21:36I'm not going to finish these.
01:21:41Good night.
01:21:42Great night.
01:21:46Hey, kid.
01:21:47What's that for?
01:21:48It's for Darby to sleep in.
01:21:54This is a drill.
01:21:55ER on Saturday night.
01:21:5630 seconds.
01:21:57Go.
01:21:58Okay.
01:21:59Sorry.
01:22:00It's inside.
01:22:04You can't cut off his leg.
01:22:06Let's save his leg.
01:22:07Darb.
01:22:08Help over here.
01:22:09Help.
01:22:10Over here.
01:22:1120 seconds.
01:22:12Please.
01:22:14Prioritize me.
01:22:15Bandage her up and shove it back in her face.
01:22:17What?
01:22:18Shove the eye back in the face.
01:22:20Prioritize me.
01:22:21Never.
01:22:25Him.
01:22:26Get to him.
01:22:27This one with the sword.
01:22:28Not like this.
01:22:29Time.
01:22:31God.
01:22:32How'd I do?
01:22:33Still a little bit slow with girl with eye hanging out,
01:22:35but she's alright.
01:22:36I already popped her eye back in.
01:22:37Didn't do it quite good enough.
01:22:39No, I popped her eye back in like a boss.
01:22:43Like a boss.
01:22:44Like a boss.
01:22:45Eye popping back in, bitch.
01:22:47No doubt.
01:22:48I did it.
01:22:49No doubt.
01:22:50Can you see?
01:22:51Everyone in your place, place it back in place.
01:22:54This is not how it's supposed to go.
01:22:58Run a mile without stopping.
01:23:01Check.
01:23:02Half a check.
01:23:03Detox for a day.
01:23:06Check.
01:23:08Catch up with current events.
01:23:12Half a check.
01:23:14Meet Oprah.
01:23:16Definitely need to do that.
01:23:20Surprise delivery.
01:23:21Hey, that's my line.
01:23:22What are you guys doing here?
01:23:24Well, my pal Alex and I thought that you could use some new digs,
01:23:28so ha-ha-ha.
01:23:30You didn't hop to it.
01:23:31Well, we wanted to.
01:23:33Come on in.
01:23:34Oh, thank you.
01:23:36So you're going to give us the grand tour?
01:23:38Yes.
01:23:39Please.
01:23:40My fair lady.
01:23:41Wow.
01:23:43This thing's enormous.
01:23:45Isn't it huge?
01:23:46Hello.
01:23:47Hello.
01:23:50This is great.
01:23:51Can you give us a tour of the mansion?
01:23:53So this over here is the east wing.
01:23:56Oh, the easterly wing.
01:23:58Yes, the easterly wing.
01:24:00This is my realtor.
01:24:01Oh, hello.
01:24:02An excellent job.
01:24:04What were you looking for in the market?
01:24:06I was looking for something airy.
01:24:08And something you couldn't stand up in.
01:24:10Exactly, because why stand up when you can sit down?
01:24:15Exactly.
01:24:17Exactly.
01:24:19No, but seriously, thank you.
01:24:23It was my pleasure.
01:24:25You know what they say.
01:24:26What?
01:24:27A house isn't a home unless you build a fire and eat marshmallows.
01:24:32I'm not even going to ask how you got all of this stuff.
01:24:35Good.
01:24:36Horrible deniability.
01:24:38Your marshmallow's on fire.
01:24:40Huh?
01:24:41Your marshmallow is on fire.
01:24:44I know.
01:24:46Wait, what are you doing?
01:24:49I'm trying to eat it on fire to impress you.
01:24:53I'm too nervous.
01:24:57I'm too nervous.
01:25:03I did it.
01:25:05You did do it.
01:25:07How is it?
01:25:09Good.
01:25:27It's just the things you do.
01:25:31You make me just so nervous.
01:25:35You want to slap me up?
01:25:38What's my name?
01:25:39Tell me my name.
01:25:40What's my name?
01:25:42Say it.
01:25:43I'm not a delivery guy.
01:25:44Have a name and say it.
01:25:48That's right, it's Kyle.
01:25:50Kyle.
01:25:56Top three TV shows from the 90s.
01:25:58Ready?
01:25:59One, two, three, go.
01:26:0190210.
01:26:02Totally.
01:26:03Melrose Place.
01:26:04Okay.
01:26:05Step by Step.
01:26:07Step by Step.
01:26:17Living in the backyard, huh?
01:26:20Happens to be a violation of your parole.
01:26:22Come again?
01:26:23Rules state that the confinement must occur within deemed property lines.
01:26:28Yeah, I know, Officer Wheeler.
01:26:30But there's no mention of restriction within said residence.
01:26:36Because it says here, by law, a court construes ambiguous terms against the drafter of the agreement.
01:26:42Which, for all intents and purposes, is you.
01:26:44I read up.
01:26:46The court also construes cheating on a drug test to be very serious.
01:26:51Your urine is consistent with a canine.
01:26:54Terrier, to be exact.
01:26:57Thoughts on how that might occur?
01:27:00As a nurse, sample contamination happens a lot.
01:27:03Which is why we always retest.
01:27:09But this time, I'll be with you in the bathroom in case anything illegal happens.
01:27:18Great.
01:27:20Let's just get this going then.
01:27:35Oh, my ankle.
01:27:38Okay.
01:27:43Here you go, Officer Wheeler.
01:27:46Nice and fresh for ya.
01:27:51Yeah.
01:27:54Have a good day!
01:27:57Hmm.
01:28:00Dickson.
01:28:01Dickson.
01:28:02Nathan Alvarado.
01:28:051248 is closed to Nathan Alvarado.
01:28:21Oh!
01:28:31I could give you a ride.
01:28:33No, it's okay. I have...
01:28:38Get in, skank.
01:28:40I got places to go.
01:28:44See you at the bar, Nathan.
01:28:49Bye, Nathan!
01:28:53What happened to her accent?
01:28:58It's not enough to serve out your sentence, Miss Dixon.
01:29:02I need to see remorse.
01:29:04I need to see a true change in attitude.
01:29:08Oh, it is all there, Your Honor.
01:29:10Miss Dixon has been going back to school, and she's going to finish her medical degree.
01:29:14Stop talking!
01:29:16It's impressive, but I would like to hear from her myself.
01:29:20Yes, sir.
01:29:21Do you honestly think you've been rehabilitated?
01:29:25Rehabilitated?
01:29:28It's just a bullshit word, so I can go on and stand for form and stop wasting my time because...
01:29:35I don't give a shit!
01:29:37Get from Shawshank Redemption, one of my favorite films.
01:29:40I knew I liked you, Miss Dixon.
01:29:41I liked that one, too.
01:29:42Oh, stop with the ass smoke. I am not a chimney.
01:29:45Right, okay.
01:29:47Your Honor, I am fully aware of the consequences of my actions,
01:29:51and over the last 30 or so days, I have seen that I need to take responsibility for my life,
01:29:58so there will be no more trouble from me.
01:30:01You know, I'm really glad to hear that, Miss Dixon.
01:30:05You've really changed, inward and outwardly.
01:30:08I mean, before, you came in here looking like a sack of shit,
01:30:13and I don't use that as just a phrase.
01:30:15I mean, I really thought, oh, look at that.
01:30:17It's a bunch of human waste.
01:30:20Now, you look incredible.
01:30:22Thanks.
01:30:23It's funny when you sit next to your lawyer, who looks like she's escaped from a circus.
01:30:30I'm talking to you.
01:30:32That being said, after all this, life without parole.
01:30:37I'm joking. Absolute discharge.
01:30:45This malpractice suit is your fault.
01:30:47I'm advising not to talk.
01:30:48I had nothing to do with that bitch getting pneumonia.
01:30:50Darby, no.
01:30:52I always knew you were a weak little monkey shit.
01:30:56Oh, go ahead.
01:30:59I always knew you were a ballless prick.
01:31:02Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That was earned.
01:31:05Didn't say anything. Nothing.
01:31:08Shit.
01:31:09I told you not to talk.
01:31:12Slide over. I'm driving.
01:31:17So, how'd it go?
01:31:19Free and clear.
01:31:21That's hot.
01:31:22No, I'm telling you, it's hot.
01:31:30I'm sorry.
01:31:31I'm sorry.
01:31:32I'm sorry.
01:31:33I'm sorry.
01:31:34I'm sorry.
01:31:35I'm sorry.
01:31:36I'm sorry.
01:31:37I'm sorry.
01:31:38I'm sorry.
01:31:39I'm sorry.
01:31:40I'm sorry.
01:31:44So, what's for dinner?
01:31:46You like Mongolian food?
01:31:48Yeah. Why? Someone cancel an order?
01:31:51Mm-mm.
01:31:52No, it's this great place I've been dying to take you to.
01:31:54I thought we'd go.
01:31:56Wait, you mean, like, pay?
01:31:58Yeah, like, take you out, like, on a date.
01:32:02No.
01:32:05I'm gonna take you home.
01:32:10I'm sorry.