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00:00:00I love sex. It's just one of the truly great ideas. I mean, just the fact that our bodies
00:00:24have this built-in capacity for joy, oh, just, it makes me love God. Yes!
00:00:31Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:00:47Sorry. What? It broke. It broke? Don't worry. It broke? It's okay. It broke?
00:00:58Let's just cuddle. Cuddle? Like little bunnies or little babies. It's so much better. Safer.
00:01:21Then what? Then sex. That's my latest medical test. The results of my blood test from a month ago.
00:01:29A month ago. Last week. Last week? This afternoon. I'm also going to need to know the name of your internist,
00:01:36your most recent x-rays, your passport, and a list of all your previous sexual contacts.
00:01:40But isn't that a little extreme? Do you want the apartment?
00:02:10No! No, I can't take it. It's insane. Enough. Sex is too sacred to be treated this way.
00:02:26Sex was never meant to be safe or negotiated or fatal. Do you know what really did it?
00:02:36This guy. I'm in bed with him, and he starts crying. So he says, I'm sorry. It's just, this used to be so much fun.
00:02:58So, no sex. Not for me. Done. Excuse me, where's 3rd Avenue? It's right over there. Thanks a lot.
00:03:12Sure, anytime. Don't mention it. Welcome! Welcome. And you know what? It's going to be fine.
00:03:24Because I am a naturally cheerful person, and I will find a substitute for sex. Sex light. Sex helper.
00:03:32I can't believe it's not sex! I'll find a great new way to live and a way to be happy. So, no sex. No sex.
00:03:44I'm ready. I'm willing. Let's go.
00:04:01What's the answer? I'll just pour all my physical needs into working out. No sex, just sweat!
00:04:10Um, can I get a spot?
00:04:33You got it. How much do you want? On. 45s? I just joined. You like it here? Yeah, a lot. Yeah.
00:04:57Steve. Jeffrey. Jeff. You okay? Sure.
00:05:19So, do you want to do your set? Oh, yeah. Sure.
00:05:36You ready? Oh, yeah. One. Two. That's right. Three. Four. You love it. Come on, come on. Five. Six. One more. Come on.
00:05:59You're ready. I'm with you. Don't stop. Push it. Push it. You want it. You need it. Come on. Give me everything. Every ounce. Every drop. Pump it. Pump it, baby. Oh, my God. You are too much. You are the best. You are the most. You are the king.
00:06:15You're there. You're doing it. Come to papa. You're on it. Go, go, go. Great set. Me, too. I mean, thanks for the spot. Anytime. You look great.
00:06:42Thanks. You look terrific. Jeffrey. Jeff. Yeah? What would happen if I kissed you right now? Well... You want to? Uh, I have to, uh, the water fountain.
00:07:09Chicken shit. No, I am not. I'm dehydrated. I need carbs. I'm ready. No, I need to work on my abs. I need a protein shake. Do you like amino acids? You bet. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Gross. Disgusting. Oh, God.
00:07:39No.
00:07:52Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. Thank you.
00:08:23You saw Mother Teresa? I swear. She helped me up. Well, how did she look? Well, I don't know. She was walking. She looked great. Oh, please. She's had work done.
00:08:40Can I do this? Or do I look like some sort of gay superhero? Sterling, I think I'm giving up sex. You are?
00:08:50Why? Well, I just think it's time. I mean, I love sex so much, but everything's gotten too scary. It's too overwhelming.
00:08:57My dear, what you need is a relationship. A relationship? Hmm. And shoes.
00:09:03If you had a boyfriend, then you could relax. You'd set the rules once, then everything would be fine. That's what Darius and I did, and we've been together now for almost two years.
00:09:12Yes, but Darius is a dancer. He's in cats. Oh, my.
00:09:17Exactly. I said you needed a boyfriend, not a person. I mean, I really do love Darius. I love his body. I love his smile. He has great hands and feet.
00:09:28I mean, on some dancers, the toes are all smushed, and I would just simply say, sorry, Misha, uh-uh, not without socks.
00:09:37Oh, and Darius loves me. Lord knows why.
00:09:42And how is Darius? Is he back in the show?
00:09:45Of course. He's fine. It's just a reaction to the AZT. They adjusted the dose. He's great. Of course.
00:09:54You think I don't know how I sound? Of course I know. But I have made a decision. I've always been lucky. All my life. Well, obviously. And I intend to stay lucky. N'est-ce pas?
00:10:13And you still have sex? Of course. Safe sex. The best.
00:10:19Two cappuccinos. Thank you, darling. Big kiss. The earring. Fun. Last year. I mean, Jeffrey, it's just sex. Just sex.
00:10:31Just sex.
00:10:33Hi, I'm Skip Winkley, and welcome to It's Just Sex, the show where we explore human sexuality and win big prizes.
00:10:49And what a great group of contestants we have today. Three gay men.
00:10:54Hi, Skip. Hey, Skip. Bisexual. Oh, me too.
00:11:00Now it's time to play It's Just Sex. Remember, each question may have more than one correct answer. The most stylish reply wins.
00:11:09Thank you, Cheryl. Isn't she lovely? Look who I'm asking.
00:11:15Question number one. What seemingly harmless events can now be fatal if they occur during sex?
00:11:25A paper cut. Recent dental work. Fluorescent lighting.
00:11:31Correct for 100 points. Question number two. Who is your favorite sexual fantasy?
00:11:44Denzel Washington. That guy at the gym. Yoko Ono.
00:11:51To see the apartment. Correct again for 100 points.
00:11:57And now our bonus round where everything can change for 500 points.
00:12:03Let's say there's a fella who just loves having sex more than anything. What will happen to him if he just flat-out dag-nabbit stops?
00:12:16Oh, my. Skip, my answer is this. If the fella stops having sex, he will pour himself into his career.
00:12:27And all that re-channeled energy will create incredible career karma and he'll be a huge success and fantastically happy.
00:12:36Absolutely right.
00:12:46Hold it. Hold it. The judges have a question. Nothing really. Just a minor technicality.
00:12:52It is true that a soaring career will compensate for no sex, but what exactly is your career?
00:13:01Well, I'm an actor. Waiter. Which means I win.
00:13:17Okay, so I'm an unemployed actor. And I'm talented. I think I am. Last week I read for a part on a TV show.
00:13:28Read page 33. The show is Manhattan Precinct. The role is police officer number two.
00:13:35Now, remember, there are no small parts. Well, actually, there are.
00:13:41All right. You've just burst in on the evil ghetto drug lord.
00:13:49You can go out. Come in.
00:13:52Action. Hold it right there, Diego. Freeze.
00:13:57You're a hero. You mean business. Yeah. Again.
00:14:06Action. Hold it right there, Diego. Freeze.
00:14:11You loathe him. You scorn him. Make me feel it. It's more.
00:14:17It's prime time. Action.
00:14:20Hold it right there, Diego. Freeze.
00:14:24Hold it right there, Diego. Freeze.
00:14:29Hold it right there, Diego.
00:14:34Oh, I just hate you.
00:14:39Oh, I just hate you.
00:14:46Perhaps you'd like to read for our gay role. Lance the Neighbor.
00:14:58Which is why I am a waiter. A cater-waiter, to be exact.
00:15:04Well, I work at parties, and it's a lot of fun, actually, because I get to go everywhere.
00:15:10Private homes, tents in Central Park, hotels. It's like Gay National Guard.
00:15:20If you're anyone at all, you've ignored me, but I don't mind, because I've tried on your fur.
00:15:28Good evening, everyone.
00:15:32I'm Anne Marwood Bartle.
00:15:36And I'd like to welcome you all to Country Western Night here at the Essex House.
00:15:41A hoedown for AIDS.
00:15:48The red ribbon I wear stands for AIDS awareness.
00:15:52The lavender ribbon is in memory of those who have died.
00:15:56The pink ribbon is for breast cancer.
00:16:00And, oh, the diamond spray is a gift of my first husband.
00:16:07Come on, everybody. Chow down.
00:16:18Hey, I need an Absolutin' Tonic and two spritzers.
00:16:24Wow.
00:16:27Boy, I was hoping I'd run into you.
00:16:30I wanted to apologize about the other day at the gym. I came on a little strong.
00:16:35Oh, no, no, no. You were great. I'm sorry I took off. I was acting weird.
00:16:40I'm an actor.
00:16:42I thought so. Have I seen you in something?
00:16:45Well, did you see Manhattan Precinct two weeks ago, end of the show?
00:16:50Did you see Manhattan Precinct two weeks ago, end of the show?
00:16:54The gay neighbor?
00:16:57Hold it right there, Diego. Freeze!
00:17:04Oh, my God! Shoot him!
00:17:07You were great.
00:17:12How? Why?
00:17:16So, um, what do you really do?
00:17:19Actually, really, I'm a bartender.
00:17:23I sort of acted and I sort of wrote, but mostly I...
00:17:30You what?
00:17:33Watch you.
00:17:36You do?
00:17:38He does.
00:17:41Spritzers, table 15. Round up.
00:17:47Nice work, little feather. Bitch. Squaw.
00:17:51Now, is everyone ready to kick up their heels and rustle their petticoats
00:17:56for a new outpatient lounge?
00:17:59Yes!
00:18:01Cow hands, cow gals, I give you a very special treat.
00:18:06They've been practicing for weeks.
00:18:09Let's give a big whoop-dee-ay-ay to Dr. Sidney Greenblatt
00:18:14and his Mount Sinai Ramblers.
00:18:37Swing your partner round you go.
00:18:40Allemande left and dozy-do.
00:18:47Do you have a lover? No.
00:18:50Are you seeing someone? No.
00:18:52Do I care? You are unbelievable.
00:18:55Find out. Don't you love this part?
00:18:58What part? You can't find out enough about the other person
00:19:02It's all interesting or it all seems sexy.
00:19:05First steps. Oh, you move fast.
00:19:08Catch up.
00:19:10Because if I don't touch you very soon, I may explode.
00:19:15Until about a minute ago, I had a very good reason not to go out with you.
00:19:19Which was?
00:19:21No, wait. Let me guess.
00:19:23Is it because I'm a cowboy and you're a waiter?
00:19:26We're a proud people. What a shame.
00:19:30In a better world, I could ask you to square dance.
00:19:33Really? Want to square dance?
00:19:36Bow to your partner. Set once more.
00:19:40Cater-waiters, take the floor!
00:20:00Let's go!
00:20:30Wow!
00:20:32Wow!
00:20:58No!
00:21:02You can't do that. This is my fantasy.
00:21:05We're not allowed to have fantasies. Not anymore.
00:21:07Come on. One more do-si-do.
00:21:09I can't. I can't explain it. It's not you. It's...
00:21:12Yes, it is you. What?
00:21:14I have to go.
00:21:33Hi. I'm Sharon.
00:21:36And I'm a sexual compulsive.
00:21:39Hi, Sharon.
00:21:41Oh, that felt good.
00:21:44I feel like I'm on my way.
00:21:49Admitting I have a problem is the first step to healing.
00:21:55For the first time in my life,
00:21:58For the first time in my life,
00:22:00I feel like I don't need a man to define myself.
00:22:06Hi there.
00:22:12So, he was really cute, this bartender.
00:22:14Oh, fantastic.
00:22:16Why aren't you seeing him?
00:22:18I don't know. I'm going nuts.
00:22:20Jeffrey, you're beginning to have a problem.
00:22:22Hi, guys.
00:22:24Hello, sweetheart.
00:22:26Hey, I am exhausted.
00:22:28Darius, aren't you supposed to leave your costume at the theater?
00:22:31No, we're filming the commercial. The new one.
00:22:34It ran late. I got stuck.
00:22:36So, you're not having sex anymore.
00:22:39What Jeffrey needs is to fall in love and have a relationship.
00:22:43Then all this sex thing will simply fall into place.
00:22:47Exactly. I mean, look at us.
00:22:51Look at how happy we are.
00:22:53Don't we make you want to fall in love?
00:22:55Sometimes I think we should be on a brochure for middle America.
00:22:58Then everyone can say,
00:23:00Oh, look, a wholesome gay couple.
00:23:03Oh, excuse me. You two are not wholesome.
00:23:06You're a decorator.
00:23:08Excuse me, an interior designer.
00:23:10And he's a dancer.
00:23:12You two are like Martha Stewart and Ann Miller.
00:23:14Which, believe me, I prefer.
00:23:16I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people.
00:23:19As if even straight people are like that.
00:23:21That is so true.
00:23:23I was watching these two guys on Nightline on Gay Pride Day.
00:23:27And one of them said,
00:23:29Hi, I'm Bob Wheeler.
00:23:31And I'm an attorney.
00:23:33And my lover, he's a surgeon.
00:23:35And we would like to show America that all gays are not limp wrists and screaming queens.
00:23:40There are gay truck drivers and gay cops and gay lumberjacks.
00:23:44And I just thought, ooh, get her.
00:23:50Who's Martha Stewart?
00:23:52She writes picture books about gracious living.
00:23:54Martha says that nothing else matters if you can do a nice dried floral arrangement.
00:23:59I worship her.
00:24:01And, um, who's Ann Miller?
00:24:05Leave this house.
00:24:07Some people think I'm dumb.
00:24:09Just because I'm a chorus boy with an eighth grade education.
00:24:13Well, I live in a townhouse and I don't pay rent.
00:24:18I mean, I go to screenings and I take cabs.
00:24:22Dumb, huh?
00:24:24And, yes, I'm in Cats.
00:24:29Now and forever.
00:24:31And I love it. I do.
00:24:33I figure I was too young for a chorus line and too happy for Les Mis.
00:24:40I never got that show.
00:24:42Les Mis.
00:24:44It's about this French guy, right, who steals a loaf of bread
00:24:48and then he suffers for the rest of his life.
00:24:51For toast.
00:24:54Get over it.
00:24:57Why are there four place settings?
00:25:08What a surprise.
00:25:10Hi, Molly. Sterling.
00:25:12I met Stephen at the show house opening.
00:25:14And I think you're perfect for each other.
00:25:16Me too. Hi there.
00:25:18Steve is a bartender, so you have something in common.
00:25:21You can fall in love and cater together.
00:25:23It'll be just like Roots.
00:25:33Jeffrey.
00:25:37Jeffrey, you are being ridiculous.
00:25:39Look at this man.
00:25:41A dreamboat. Which one?
00:25:43Me. Heaven.
00:25:45This sex thing has gone completely out of hand.
00:25:48He's not having sex anymore.
00:25:50He's not having sex. What's the problem?
00:25:52You mean no nasty?
00:25:54Wait. He's turning down a date?
00:25:56I hate him.
00:25:58Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Listen to reason.
00:26:01Jeffrey.
00:26:05Steve, from the first second I saw you at the gym,
00:26:09I thought of nothing and no one else.
00:26:11I have fantasized about you naked,
00:26:14about you kissing me,
00:26:16talking to me,
00:26:18walking down the street with me,
00:26:20letting you do things to me that I have only permitted
00:26:23with 5,000 other men.
00:26:25I think you could change my life
00:26:28and change the world.
00:26:31I think it's completely and totally possible
00:26:34that we could be the happiest people alive,
00:26:38but I'm not having sex anymore, so...
00:26:41I'm sorry.
00:26:43Jeffrey, wait.
00:26:45No. Jeffrey.
00:26:47Jeffrey, calm down.
00:26:49Jeffrey, calm down.
00:26:51Now, I want to see you.
00:26:54We can take this as slow as you like.
00:26:57First step. How about tomorrow night?
00:26:59I'm working till 10.
00:27:01Afterwards, we'll have dinner.
00:27:03You'll have fun.
00:27:05What about appetizers?
00:27:07I don't know. We're your friends.
00:27:09You must obey us.
00:27:11You have no choice, Jeffrey.
00:27:13Oh, come on. You're gay. You're single.
00:27:16It isn't pretty.
00:27:20Yes. Yes!
00:27:22Yeah!
00:27:34Jeffrey, I am so proud of you.
00:27:38You're dating again.
00:27:41Jeffrey?
00:27:43Yes?
00:27:45I just, um...
00:27:47Just so there's no surprises.
00:27:49Sure.
00:27:52I'm HIV positive.
00:27:58Uh...
00:28:00Okay, right.
00:28:02Does that make a difference?
00:28:04No. Of course not.
00:28:06Oh, please.
00:28:08HIV-positive men are the hottest.
00:28:11I mean, I'd understand.
00:28:13I'd be hurt, and I'd be disappointed,
00:28:16but I just... I want it to be clear.
00:28:19No, really, it's fine.
00:28:22I mean, come on. It's the 90s, right?
00:28:25Dinner at 10.
00:28:28I can't wait.
00:28:30Do you feel lost?
00:28:32I do.
00:28:36So you come to me, and you say,
00:28:38Deborah, what can I do to feel better
00:28:41about myself and the world?
00:28:43And you know what I say?
00:28:45Love! It's real!
00:28:48It works! Go for it!
00:28:52Go for it!
00:28:56Now, I'm not here as a priest or a guru
00:28:58or any sort of religious leader.
00:29:00I'm just someone who likes to talk.
00:29:04And I have people coming to me and saying,
00:29:06Deborah, I'm in love with an alcoholic.
00:29:08What should I do?
00:29:10And I say, don't look to me for answers.
00:29:13Look to yourself.
00:29:17Find that source of unconditional love.
00:29:20Find that all-encompassing, ultimate love.
00:29:23Surrender to that unending, infinite love
00:29:27that will let you say,
00:29:29hey, fuck you!
00:29:32Get out of my house till you stop drinking!
00:29:46Any questions?
00:29:50With a bad perm!
00:29:52Oh, God! Oh, God!
00:29:54Oh, my God! I'm coming!
00:29:56Oh, my God!
00:29:58Oh, Deborah, it's you!
00:30:00Oh, my God!
00:30:02Oh, Deborah! Oh, God, Deborah!
00:30:04First, I just wanted to give you these
00:30:08little baby booties that I crocheted for your baby.
00:30:11I know you discourage gifts except for donations,
00:30:13but I just had to.
00:30:15Well, thank you.
00:30:17Now, what's up?
00:30:19Well, um, I just...
00:30:22I just broke up with my boyfriend.
00:30:25Well, we've all been there, haven't we?
00:30:28With my boyfriend?
00:30:30Spill, baby.
00:30:32Well, um, Josh and I lived together for...
00:30:35I'm sorry, this is hard.
00:30:37It's okay.
00:30:38For about four years,
00:30:40and then he lost his job,
00:30:42and then we just started really arguing all the time,
00:30:45and then he... he tried to hit me with the car.
00:30:48My car.
00:30:49Whoa.
00:30:51Man.
00:30:52But I still love him.
00:30:56Okay.
00:30:57Okay, okay, let me cook on this.
00:31:00It sounds to me like you've got a problem
00:31:03with everybody's favorite...
00:31:05Low self-esteem!
00:31:07Of course, I don't know you.
00:31:09Maybe you should have low self-esteem.
00:31:11I just really want a relationship.
00:31:13You want a relationship?
00:31:15Because you're afraid!
00:31:18Right.
00:31:19It all goes back to mother, doesn't it?
00:31:22Did you love your mother?
00:31:24Um, yeah, yeah, I guess.
00:31:26Don't lie to me.
00:31:27Okay.
00:31:28I'll call her.
00:31:29Right.
00:31:30Did she withhold?
00:31:31Well...
00:31:33Was there abuse?
00:31:36No, I don't...
00:31:38Dig deep?
00:31:40Yes, definitely, yes, yes.
00:31:43Go see her.
00:31:44Okay.
00:31:45Tell her,
00:31:46Mom, you were chilling.
00:31:48You forgot my birthday.
00:31:50You beat me with a baseball bat.
00:31:52But I understand.
00:31:53I understand.
00:31:54I forgive.
00:31:55I love you.
00:31:56I love you.
00:31:57And Mom,
00:31:58now you're old.
00:31:59Oh, God.
00:32:00You've got a plastic hip.
00:32:02And I've got the bat!
00:32:03Right.
00:32:04Next!
00:32:07Yes!
00:32:10Yes!
00:32:12The homosexual.
00:32:18I can walk.
00:32:19You could always walk.
00:32:21Shut up.
00:32:24Hey, there.
00:32:26Hit me.
00:32:28Um...
00:32:29Uh, Debra, um...
00:32:32I think that...
00:32:34sex is just about the best thing ever.
00:32:41Um, but I've met someone,
00:32:43and he's HIV positive.
00:32:47And I'm about to self-destruct.
00:32:50Now, I'm a waiter,
00:32:52so I can't afford your cassettes
00:32:55or the mug or the calendar.
00:32:57Do they mention this problem?
00:33:00They sure do.
00:33:02It's in my book,
00:33:03Chapter 10,
00:33:04Cheap Waiters.
00:33:08No, no, no, no, no.
00:33:09Look.
00:33:10What you're talking about is evil.
00:33:13Am I right?
00:33:14Um...
00:33:15Why is there disease?
00:33:17Why was there a Hitler?
00:33:20Why are these acrylic?
00:33:25Here's the lowdown on evil.
00:33:27It is the absence of love.
00:33:30Ta-da!
00:33:32That's it.
00:33:33Case closed.
00:33:34Where you don't have love,
00:33:36illness makes a home.
00:33:38I'm sorry.
00:33:39Are you saying that people get sick
00:33:42because they don't love enough
00:33:44or because people don't love them or...
00:33:47It may sound simplistic.
00:33:49It may sound cruel.
00:33:51It may sound like I'm blaming people
00:33:54for their illness.
00:33:56And maybe I am.
00:33:59That's Debra.
00:34:01Debra!
00:34:15Hi, my name is Tim,
00:34:17and I am a sexual compulsive.
00:34:20Hi, Tim.
00:34:22Hi.
00:34:23Today, I have already performed oral sex
00:34:26on three different people.
00:34:29I can't help myself.
00:34:31I'm an agent.
00:34:51Steve, hi.
00:34:53It's Jeffrey, and I'm working later than I thought.
00:34:57Private party, you know.
00:34:59So can we reschedule next week, maybe?
00:35:03I can't wait.
00:35:08I'll call you.
00:35:10Take care.
00:35:28I don't know what to do without you
00:35:32I don't know what to do without you
00:35:35I've tried so hard to ignore this pain
00:35:38Cause I don't want my love to be in vain
00:35:42Such a simple thing to avoid me now
00:35:46You walked in my life and I can't let you out
00:35:51From this day on I will never forget
00:35:55For the time that I could not make
00:36:02What am I so afraid of?
00:36:05Him getting sick? Me getting sick?
00:36:08Why is the idea of a simple dinner now
00:36:10like an evening of Russian roulette?
00:36:13I couldn't stay home and be alone with myself,
00:36:16so I hit the streets.
00:36:18Jeffrey!
00:36:20Um, what are you?
00:36:22We're the Pink Panthers.
00:36:24We're part of a patrol to prevent gay bashing.
00:36:27It was Darius' idea to join up.
00:36:29I wanted to do something.
00:36:31Something with a T-shirt.
00:36:36Don't you just love it?
00:36:41Oh, look, the gay pride statues.
00:36:51Come on.
00:36:55Carla, think about it.
00:36:57Stop it. You're not fat.
00:37:00So, Jeffrey, how was your date?
00:37:03Where's Steve?
00:37:05He, uh, I had to cancel. I just got off work.
00:37:07Did you call him?
00:37:09Of course. Left a message on his machine.
00:37:11Left a message. Would you call him again?
00:37:15Pink Panthers.
00:37:17Oh, hello, darling.
00:37:19Is someone in trouble?
00:37:21Really?
00:37:24No.
00:37:28Oh, no!
00:37:30What? What?
00:37:32We must get over to Washington Square right away.
00:37:34It's Todd, that huge bodybuilder from the gym.
00:37:36No, not Todd.
00:37:38In shorts.
00:37:44Call him!
00:37:46He's a doll! Taxi!
00:37:48Hi, my name is Dave, and I am sexually compulsive.
00:37:51Hi, Dave!
00:37:53I, uh, I love sex.
00:37:56Love it!
00:37:58Uh, maybe it's because I have a constant erection.
00:38:02I mean, like, 24 hours a day.
00:38:05Or because my penis is 14 inches long.
00:38:08Ooh!
00:38:10Hi, Dave!
00:38:21Oh, wow!
00:38:23Um, did you, um, did you get my...
00:38:25Yeah, yeah, I got your message.
00:38:27What?
00:38:29A party.
00:38:31Poor guy.
00:38:33I know.
00:38:35I know.
00:38:37I know.
00:38:39I know.
00:38:41I know.
00:38:43I know.
00:38:45I know.
00:38:47I know.
00:38:50Poor guy.
00:38:52Look, I was so revved up, I was out dancing.
00:38:55Oh, great. Great.
00:38:57Because, you know, I had to, uh...
00:38:59I know.
00:39:01No, I don't...
00:39:03Really, I...
00:39:05Jeffrey, it's not the first time this has happened.
00:39:08You freaked.
00:39:10Cold feet.
00:39:12That is not true. That is not...
00:39:15Goodbye, Jeffrey.
00:39:17Steve.
00:39:19Steve!
00:39:27Please.
00:39:29Steve, come on, please.
00:39:31I'm s...
00:39:33I'm sorry.
00:39:37You know, I can understand about the HIV thing.
00:39:40It's not easy.
00:39:42It's not easy.
00:39:44But I don't like lying about it.
00:39:47Not anymore.
00:39:51I'm sorry.
00:39:53I'm sorry. You're sorry. It's the new national anthem.
00:40:02Look, you said before that you thought about me.
00:40:06That you fantasized.
00:40:08I know.
00:40:12Do you still?
00:40:16Yeah.
00:40:20You know, there's a lot of things we can do.
00:40:23Yeah?
00:40:25Safe things.
00:40:29Hot things.
00:40:33I know.
00:40:36But...
00:40:40You know, I can take being sick.
00:40:42I can fucking take dying, but I can't take this.
00:40:45All right. You should have told me.
00:40:47I did.
00:40:49Well, sooner, before things happened.
00:40:51Oh, before I kissed you.
00:40:53Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:55Oh, okay. Oh, you didn't have all the information.
00:40:58Okay.
00:41:00I've been positive for almost five years.
00:41:03I was sick once.
00:41:05My T-cells are decent.
00:41:07And every once in a while, like 50 times a day, an hour,
00:41:11I get very tired of being a person with AIDS.
00:41:15A red ribbon.
00:41:18So sometimes I forget.
00:41:22Sometimes I choose to forget.
00:41:26Sometimes I choose just to be a gay man with a dick.
00:41:29Sometimes I choose just to be a gay man with a dick.
00:41:36Can you understand?
00:41:39At all?
00:41:41Yeah.
00:41:49Can I forget again?
00:41:53No.
00:41:56I want you, Jeffrey.
00:41:59I very well may even love you.
00:42:03That means nothing.
00:42:05Hey, that should beat anything.
00:42:08That should win.
00:42:13I know.
00:42:15So how come you get to be the one with the problem?
00:42:19Why do I get to be both sick and...
00:42:22begging?
00:42:27Why don't you kiss me?
00:42:46I'm sorry.
00:42:49I'm sorry.
00:42:53I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said I'm sorry.
00:42:59I'm sorry that you're sick.
00:43:02And I'm sorry that I lied.
00:43:05And I'm sorry that life is suddenly...
00:43:09radioactive.
00:43:19Apology...
00:43:21accepted.
00:43:23Steve.
00:43:29Oh, Steve.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:41I hate sex.
00:43:43And I hate love.
00:43:45I hate the world for giving me everything...
00:43:48and then taking it all back.
00:43:50Hey.
00:44:13Hey.
00:44:21I said, hey.
00:44:23Hey.
00:44:25You a gay man?
00:44:27You a faggot?
00:44:29Yeah.
00:44:31You're queer?
00:44:33All right, let's not do this, okay?
00:44:36Suck my dick.
00:44:38You really want me to do that?
00:44:40Yeah.
00:44:44No. Hey, fuck you, man.
00:44:46Man, you think you're so special.
00:44:48You go to the gym. You got a nice friend.
00:44:50You think you're so hot?
00:44:52You think you're better than us?
00:44:54I'm a waiter.
00:44:56Oh, a waiter. Like at a restaurant?
00:44:58Sort of, yeah.
00:45:00They let you touch food.
00:45:02Put your little faggoty fingers on it, huh?
00:45:04That's right. That's right. I touch it all the time.
00:45:06I spit in it.
00:45:08Oh, Jesus. What restaurant?
00:45:10Pizza House.
00:45:12Damn, man. Let's go.
00:45:14Dust his ass.
00:45:16Fine, fine.
00:45:18You have weapons?
00:45:20So do I.
00:45:22Well, I got a knife. What do you got?
00:45:24Huh?
00:45:26Huh?
00:45:28Irony?
00:45:30Adjectives?
00:45:32Eyebrows.
00:45:34Fuck you.
00:45:38Get down there.
00:45:40He's got cash.
00:45:42Come on.
00:45:44Come on!
00:46:10Terry.
00:46:12Ow.
00:46:14Ow.
00:46:18You know, when that asshole
00:46:20started kicking me,
00:46:22I had this horrible, stupid thought.
00:46:24Just a flash.
00:46:26I thought,
00:46:30at least it's physical contact.
00:46:38Hey, hey.
00:46:40I just found my substitute for sex.
00:46:44Substitute for everything.
00:46:46Bruises.
00:46:50Answering machines.
00:46:54Fear.
00:47:00Holding hands
00:47:02at midnight
00:47:06Beneath the starry sky
00:47:10It's nice work
00:47:12If you can get it
00:47:16And you can get it if you try
00:47:20Loving one who loves you
00:47:24And then taking that bow
00:47:30It's nice work
00:47:32If you can get it
00:47:36And if you can't, won't you tell me
00:47:40How?
00:47:58Can you tell if you're having
00:48:00a nervous breakdown?
00:48:06Hello?
00:48:08Well, howdy, stranger.
00:48:10It's Jeff.
00:48:12I love them.
00:48:14Well, isn't this
00:48:16a special occasion?
00:48:18What if I could really talk to them?
00:48:20What if they had
00:48:22some answers?
00:48:24Or would that just be too weird?
00:48:26Dad,
00:48:28I've stopped having sex.
00:48:30Eileen, Jeff stopped
00:48:32having sex.
00:48:34Oh, I've got it up here, dear.
00:48:36No sex?
00:48:38You mean just safe sex,
00:48:40don't you, dear?
00:48:42No, Mom, I hate safe sex.
00:48:44Wrestling nose condoms.
00:48:46Water-based lubricant.
00:48:48Dry kissing.
00:48:50Sweetheart, are you a top or a bottom?
00:48:52Mother.
00:48:54Have you tried any of those workshops?
00:48:56Oh, what about a jerk-off club?
00:48:58How about phone sex?
00:49:00What?
00:49:02Oh, Fred, let's help him out.
00:49:04Uh, sweats and a
00:49:06T-shirt.
00:49:08Oh, that's hot.
00:49:10That's very hot.
00:49:12Are you alone?
00:49:14Dad, I'm not going to have phone sex with you and Mom.
00:49:16Darling, have you looked at any videos?
00:49:18Hardcore? Have you explored masturbation?
00:49:20Oh, as if we have to ask.
00:49:22Sometimes I never could get into that bathroom.
00:49:24We like that new Jeff Stryker film.
00:49:26Power Tool 2?
00:49:28Oh, dear, do you like it
00:49:30when they shave their assholes?
00:49:32Shave their...
00:49:34What?
00:49:36Oh, and what about this person, Steve?
00:49:38He seems real nice.
00:49:40Dad, Steve is HIV-positive.
00:49:42Oh, what a dreamboat. Check the basket.
00:49:44Ah.
00:49:46Oh, my God.
00:49:54Uh, hi, my name is Jeffrey,
00:49:56and I'm just like you.
00:49:58Jeffrey!
00:50:00I'm a sexual compulsive.
00:50:02Uh, but
00:50:04I haven't had sex in almost
00:50:06six months.
00:50:10I never even think about having sex.
00:50:12Not anymore.
00:50:14But I-I used to be
00:50:16compulsive.
00:50:22All because of
00:50:24Billy Kearney.
00:50:26I blame him.
00:50:30That's where it started.
00:50:32He-he kept daring me.
00:50:36I dare you to take off
00:50:38your clothes,
00:50:40even your underpants.
00:50:44I dare you to
00:50:46kiss me
00:50:48on the mouth.
00:50:50Oh, God.
00:50:54Two
00:50:56naked 14-year-old boys
00:50:58in front of
00:51:00the big mirror in my parents' bedroom.
00:51:04I'm having sex!
00:51:08And I'm watching myself have sex.
00:51:12Oh, please don't do that.
00:51:16Please don't stop.
00:51:28Stop.
00:51:40I'm working
00:51:42a memorial.
00:51:44Another one.
00:51:46Thank you.
00:51:52It's for a curator at the Met.
00:51:54The speakers are great.
00:51:56This straight brother.
00:51:58This doctor.
00:52:02Ah, this gorgeous
00:52:04Italian boyfriend.
00:52:10Oh, my God.
00:52:14I'm so disgusting.
00:52:16Do you know what I'm doing?
00:52:18I'm cruising a memorial.
00:52:20Oh, please. Everybody is.
00:52:22It's not that we're not sad.
00:52:24There are all these guys here.
00:52:28Who's that over there?
00:52:30Oh, it's Todd Malcolm.
00:52:38What?
00:52:40You know, the guy from the gym.
00:52:48Oh, my God. He's blind, isn't he?
00:52:50It's just a side effect, they say.
00:52:54Jeffrey.
00:52:56Jeffrey!
00:53:08Jeffrey, what are you doing?
00:53:10When I first came to this city,
00:53:12Todd Malcolm was a god.
00:53:14I used to watch him and his lover dancing.
00:53:16People would gasp.
00:53:18Oh, stop it.
00:53:20Hi, guys. Hey, you see Todd?
00:53:22He looks badder.
00:53:24Darius, Todd is dying.
00:53:30I'm sorry.
00:53:32What's going on here?
00:53:34It's about Todd, right?
00:53:36Do you know what we were talking about?
00:53:38This memorial.
00:53:40Cannoli, frozen.
00:53:42Drinks of water.
00:53:44And I hated that music.
00:53:46In my memorial, I want Liza.
00:53:48You are not having a memorial.
00:53:50Okay, in a million years.
00:53:52You are not going to get sick.
00:53:54I thought I made that clear.
00:53:56But I was sick.
00:53:58I had pneumonia.
00:54:02And it went away.
00:54:04But I want the winter garden.
00:54:06I do.
00:54:08I want all the other cats to come out
00:54:10and to sing Darius to the tune of memory.
00:54:12Darius,
00:54:14we all thought you were fabulous.
00:54:16The service will run for years.
00:54:18It will.
00:54:20Stupid.
00:54:22What?
00:54:24This is a memorial.
00:54:26We're making remarks.
00:54:28We're dishing it.
00:54:30Oh, please.
00:54:32Picture mine.
00:54:34And remember, Jeffrey, I want an open coffin
00:54:36that can say it to my face.
00:54:38Good idea.
00:54:40Well, I like it.
00:54:42I mean, cute guys
00:54:44and Liza and dish.
00:54:46It's not a cure for AIDS, Jeffrey.
00:54:48But it's the opposite of AIDS.
00:54:58They're praying.
00:55:00Well, come on.
00:55:08Oh, my God.
00:55:16Wasn't that marvelous?
00:55:18Oh, please.
00:55:20Still ballet.
00:55:22It is the nutcracker.
00:55:24It's my favorite.
00:55:26I mean, when I was a kid,
00:55:28I used to be so afraid of the big dancing mice.
00:55:30Now I'm a cat.
00:55:32This therapist is ecstatic.
00:55:36Sweetheart.
00:55:38I'm fine.
00:55:40I just, I...
00:55:42I'm fine.
00:55:44I just, I...
00:55:46I don't know.
00:55:48I'm just a little dizzy.
00:55:54Oh, my God.
00:56:02Please, everyone, please stand back.
00:56:04Put this under his head.
00:56:06Will somebody please get an ambulance?
00:56:08No, no, no, I'm fine.
00:56:10You are going to be fine.
00:56:12Excuse me, I'm the house manager. Is there a problem?
00:56:14Oh, my God. It's all right, sweetheart.
00:56:16Now, lie still.
00:56:18Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
00:56:20I'm just dehydrated. You're dehydrated?
00:56:22It's from the intraconazole.
00:56:24But the intraconazole?
00:56:26It's a medicine, sweetheart.
00:56:28My cousin's on it. Is it like Prozac?
00:56:30Here, put this on his forehead.
00:56:34I'm fine.
00:56:36I just...
00:56:38I'm okay. I'm okay.
00:56:40Maybe you shouldn't move him.
00:56:42We have a cop. I'm fine.
00:56:44Thank you.
00:56:46We'll get this back to you.
00:56:48I'm fine. Look.
00:56:50I'm walking.
00:56:54That is...
00:57:08That is...
00:57:38Excuse me.
00:58:08Come on.
00:58:22This way.
00:58:34In here.
00:58:38Where are we?
00:58:40Oh, a storeroom.
00:58:42Old him knows they need to be rebound.
00:58:46Hey!
00:58:48What? What's wrong?
00:58:50Is it the collar? Is that a turn-off?
00:58:52Wait! No!
00:58:54What's going on here?
00:58:56Why did you bring me in here?
00:58:58I'm attracted to you. The door's locked.
00:59:00Wait!
00:59:02You're really a priest?
00:59:04Of course.
00:59:06But...
00:59:08Aren't you supposed to be straight and...
00:59:10and celibate?
00:59:12Maybe you didn't hear me.
00:59:14I'm a Catholic priest.
00:59:16Historically, that falls somewhere
00:59:18in between chorus boy and florist.
00:59:20Come here, you big lug!
00:59:22Get away from me! Don't touch me!
00:59:24I'm sorry!
00:59:26Hands off!
00:59:28Wait! What is with you?
00:59:30One of my best friends.
00:59:32He's sick.
00:59:34And he fell.
00:59:36But he's home now, but...
00:59:38I just keep...
00:59:40I've been walking around for 48 hours.
00:59:42And I just keep asking myself,
00:59:44what if it was Steve?
00:59:46How could I love somebody
00:59:48and watch that happen?
00:59:50Steve?
00:59:52Why did he do this?
00:59:54Huh?
00:59:56You're a priest.
00:59:58You're a priest.
01:00:00You have to tell me,
01:00:02why did he do this?
01:00:06Why did God make
01:00:08the world this way?
01:00:10Why do I have to live in it?
01:00:12Don't hit me.
01:00:14You tell me!
01:00:16Okay.
01:00:18All I wanted was a quickie.
01:00:20If I show you
01:00:22the true face of God,
01:00:24if I tell you, will you listen?
01:00:26Of course.
01:00:28Really listen?
01:00:30Yes.
01:00:32Okay.
01:00:36Here's how you see God.
01:00:38He's a Columbia recording artist.
01:00:42You got your idea, God,
01:00:44where most gay kids get it.
01:00:46My Fair Lady, original cast.
01:00:48See? George Bernard Shaw up in the clouds
01:00:50manipulating Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews
01:00:52on strings.
01:00:54Little, you thought it was a picture of God.
01:00:56Yeah?
01:00:58Well, you're almost there, because God
01:01:00is on this record.
01:01:02Lerner and Lowe.
01:01:04Why count the English?
01:01:06Wouldn't it be lovely?
01:01:08I'm telling you, the only times
01:01:10I really feel the presence of God,
01:01:12I want him having sex
01:01:14and doing a great Broadway musical.
01:01:16Come on.
01:01:20Number two.
01:01:24Hi.
01:01:26Look.
01:01:30Hello, gorgeous.
01:01:32Oklahoma.
01:01:34Oh, you're nuts.
01:01:36Oh, excuse me?
01:01:38Those people out there, they're worshipping
01:01:40resurrections, virgin births,
01:01:42Ben-Hur, and I'm nuts?
01:01:44I'm talking about
01:01:46a plague.
01:01:48I'm talking about...
01:01:50I don't know.
01:01:52Evil.
01:01:54Yes, Satan.
01:01:56Well, that's another story.
01:01:58I've seen him.
01:02:00What? Disease, hospitals,
01:02:02fear?
01:02:04Phantom, Miss Saigon,
01:02:06Sunset Boulevard.
01:02:08Gotta go.
01:02:10Why? Because I haven't told you the secret of life
01:02:12in five words or less, you're getting antsy?
01:02:14I need to know.
01:02:16Okay, okay.
01:02:18Oh, God.
01:02:20I am so horny.
01:02:22Do you know what it's like in here?
01:02:24Father, I abused
01:02:26myself eight times
01:02:28last week. Father,
01:02:30I'm attracted to my brother-in-law.
01:02:32Father, I'm having impure thoughts about my
01:02:34soccer coach. Where are the Polaroids?
01:02:36One of my mind reader? Say six Hail Marys
01:02:38and bring me your shorts.
01:02:40Okay, okay.
01:02:42I'm sorry.
01:02:44Secret
01:02:46of life.
01:02:50Darling,
01:02:52have you ever
01:02:54been to a picnic
01:02:56and
01:02:58someone blows up
01:03:00a balloon and everyone
01:03:02starts tossing it around
01:03:04and it's
01:03:06always just about to touch the ground
01:03:08but someone
01:03:10always gets there just in time
01:03:12to tap it back up.
01:03:14That balloon.
01:03:16It's
01:03:18that balloon.
01:03:20That's God.
01:03:22The very best
01:03:24in all of us.
01:03:26The kindness.
01:03:28The heavy petting.
01:03:30Funny girl.
01:03:34What about
01:03:36the bad stuff?
01:03:38When the balloon
01:03:40hits the ground? When it
01:03:42bursts? Who cares? Evil bores me.
01:03:44It's one note. It doesn't sing.
01:03:46Oh.
01:03:52Of course light
01:03:54sucks. It always will so why
01:03:56not make the most of it? How dare
01:03:58you not lunge for any shred of happiness?
01:04:00With Steve who's sick who
01:04:02I'm afraid to touch? So maybe you
01:04:04need a rubber or a surgical mask
01:04:06or a roll of plastic wrap. How dare
01:04:08you give up sex when there are children in Europe
01:04:10who can't get a date? The only
01:04:12real blasphemy is the refusal
01:04:14of joy. Of a corsage
01:04:16and a kiss. Amen.
01:04:22I had a dream.
01:04:24A dream
01:04:26about you baby.
01:04:28It's gonna come true
01:04:30cause
01:04:32baby
01:04:34you'll be
01:04:36swell. You'll
01:04:38be great. Come on ladies. You know the
01:04:40words. Gonna have the whole
01:04:42world on a plate.
01:04:44Starting here.
01:04:46Starting now.
01:04:48Honey everything's
01:04:50coming up.
01:04:52Roses. Dunna dunna
01:04:54dunna dunna dunna
01:05:08The air is sizzling
01:05:10as we walk into
01:05:12the crowd.
01:05:14My
01:05:16heart is pumping
01:05:18and my feet don't touch
01:05:20the ground.
01:05:22There's no
01:05:24resisting. Tonight
01:05:26I'm on a cloud.
01:05:34I let the
01:05:36celebrating begin.
01:05:38Living it up.
01:05:40We're living it up.
01:05:42We've got to be proud.
01:05:46And we're gonna say it out loud.
01:05:50Oh let the celebrating begin.
01:05:52Living it up.
01:05:56Tonight I'm on a cloud.
01:06:02Let the celebrating begin.
01:06:04Oh let the celebrating
01:06:06begin.
01:06:08Living it up.
01:06:10Oh we're living it up.
01:06:12Cause we've got to be proud.
01:06:16And we're gonna say it out loud.
01:06:18Okay everybody listen up.
01:06:20The parade is about to begin.
01:06:22The first unit will
01:06:24be as follows.
01:06:26Dykes on bikes.
01:06:28Concerned
01:06:30Pan-Asian bisexuals.
01:06:32Black
01:06:34gay Republicans.
01:06:38Hello?
01:06:40Excuse me. Excuse me.
01:06:42Are you with the parade? I'm lost.
01:06:44What group are you with?
01:06:46Did you find out? We're marching together.
01:06:48I'm so proud of my preoperative
01:06:50transsexual lesbian son.
01:06:52Hey Steve.
01:06:54Jeffrey.
01:06:56Hey.
01:06:58What group are you marching with?
01:07:00Excuse me. Could you take our picture
01:07:02with this nice young man?
01:07:04This is our first parade.
01:07:06Parents of transsexuals.
01:07:08Preoperative transsexual lesbians.
01:07:10At first I was confused as anyone.
01:07:12More confused.
01:07:18When Anthony first came to me. Angelique, Ma.
01:07:20Oh you were still Tony at the time.
01:07:22He comes to me and he says,
01:07:24Ma, I want to be a woman.
01:07:26I always felt like one.
01:07:28I said, what are you, gay?
01:07:30He said, no, I'm not gay.
01:07:32I'm a lesbian.
01:07:34Exactly.
01:07:36My first thought was when I was pregnant with you.
01:07:38What did I do? Did I tilt the world?
01:07:40Did I bungee jump?
01:07:42Bound for glory?
01:07:44Oh, uh, the fountain.
01:07:46Stop it.
01:07:48But you didn't judge.
01:07:50Listen, alone, late at night
01:07:52I judged plenty. I judged you.
01:07:54I judged me.
01:07:56I said to myself.
01:07:58I said, I don't understand.
01:08:00What does he need?
01:08:04You know what made me feel good?
01:08:06What?
01:08:08Summer Olympics.
01:08:10I was watching them on TV.
01:08:12Feeling sorry for myself.
01:08:14They kept showing these parents
01:08:16of these girls in the pool.
01:08:18Synchronized swimmers.
01:08:20Exactly.
01:08:22And the parents, they kept crying
01:08:24and waving flags.
01:08:26I said to myself, hey,
01:08:28if they can feel proud of their kids
01:08:30just because they can stand on their head
01:08:32in the deep end,
01:08:34I can feel proud of mine.
01:08:36Aw.
01:08:38Hey.
01:08:42One more.
01:08:44You think we're gonna need sunscreen?
01:08:46Over there.
01:08:48Thank you.
01:08:54Jeffrey.
01:08:56Wow. Long time no see.
01:09:00You look great.
01:09:02Thanks. You, too.
01:09:04Has anyone seen Darius?
01:09:06I lost him somewhere near those S&M people.
01:09:08I swear I saw this terrifying man
01:09:10wearing a dog collar, harness,
01:09:12and jackboots, snarling at me.
01:09:14And I looked closer, and it was my upholsterer.
01:09:16Oh, my God.
01:09:18Should I get my nipples pierced?
01:09:20What?
01:09:22I'm not naked, except for a jock strap
01:09:24and two gold rings right here and here.
01:09:26For guest towels.
01:09:28What group are you guys with?
01:09:30Gay men who need a cigarette.
01:09:32Interior designers fight AIDS.
01:09:34Cab with flair.
01:09:36Hey.
01:09:38The sheep meadow.
01:09:40Come along, Jeffrey. You can help.
01:09:42I'll catch him.
01:09:44Come on.
01:09:46I got it, Steve.
01:09:48Oh, thanks.
01:09:50I'll catch you on the best float
01:09:52with the porn stars.
01:09:54Oh, no. Actually, I'm not marching.
01:09:56What?
01:09:58I was just taking a shortcut through the park.
01:10:00I kind of forgot it was gay pride day.
01:10:06Whee!
01:10:08Well, I hope this not marching thing
01:10:10doesn't have anything to do with me.
01:10:12Because I know I gave you a pretty hard time.
01:10:14No, you didn't.
01:10:16I tried.
01:10:18Seriously, it's good to see you.
01:10:20And I'm not hitting on you.
01:10:24And why not?
01:10:26Hmm?
01:10:28Ah.
01:10:30Jeffrey.
01:10:34I got to go.
01:10:36I got to meet somebody.
01:10:38Pardon me?
01:10:40Yeah.
01:10:42My sublet, I hope.
01:10:44Your sublet?
01:10:46Are you moving?
01:10:48Where?
01:10:50I shouldn't have said anything.
01:10:52No, no, come on.
01:10:54Uh, back to Wisconsin.
01:10:56Bye.
01:10:58Wisconsin?
01:11:00Yeah, but not for a month.
01:11:02I got to go.
01:11:04Wait a minute.
01:11:06Steve, it's a good idea.
01:11:08There's no car alarms, no potholes.
01:11:10No parades?
01:11:12What about sterling?
01:11:14Howard to flatbed three.
01:11:16Steve, Howard.
01:11:18What are you going to do in Wisconsin?
01:11:22Live.
01:11:24Breathe. Hide.
01:11:26Until it's all over.
01:11:30Until what's all over, Jeffrey?
01:11:32AIDS?
01:11:34Or your life?
01:11:38Either.
01:11:44Boy, good to have known you.
01:11:46It was a growth experience.
01:11:48Come on.
01:11:50Maybe I'll come back. Who knows?
01:11:52Someday.
01:11:54You know, that's the difference between you and me.
01:11:56That one word.
01:11:58Someday.
01:12:00A real luxury item.
01:12:02Hey.
01:12:04Hey.
01:12:06Uh, Sean.
01:12:08It's Jeffrey.
01:12:10Really?
01:12:12I hate to much about you.
01:12:14Uh, are you two guys, um...
01:12:16Yeah.
01:12:18Yeah.
01:12:20Two months now.
01:12:22We met on the parade committee.
01:12:24Five, four, three...
01:12:26Come here.
01:12:28Good afternoon.
01:12:30This is Chuck Farling here at Manhattan's
01:12:32some would say notorious gay pride march.
01:12:34Homosexuals have made great strides in recent years,
01:12:36and I am surrounded by them.
01:12:38Are you homosexuals?
01:12:40Yes, Chuck, we are.
01:12:42Chuck!
01:12:44Hi. I love your show.
01:12:46You are so cute.
01:12:48Hi.
01:12:50Hi. We're here. We're queer.
01:12:52And we're on TV!
01:12:54No.
01:12:56No, it is working, really.
01:12:58And here's a regular fella.
01:13:00Why, he could be anyone. Your son, your brother,
01:13:02the guy next door, your name.
01:13:04Uh, Jeffrey.
01:13:06And how are you celebrating gay pride day?
01:13:08Uh, I'm running.
01:13:10Provocative.
01:13:12Chuck!
01:13:14Well, it seems we have a mother and daughter team here.
01:13:16Is that right? That's right.
01:13:18Don't ask. And what are you ladies gonna do
01:13:20to celebrate this gay pride occasion? Something very special?
01:13:22You bet, Chuck.
01:13:24We're gonna ride on a flatbed truck for the whole world to see.
01:13:26Because we are proud
01:13:28of who and what we are!
01:13:30And after the parade?
01:13:32Angelique is going to remove her penis.
01:13:34It's coming right off!
01:13:36Yeah!
01:14:06Yeah!
01:14:20Dr. Sullivan to ER, now.
01:14:22Dr. Sullivan to ER, now.
01:14:24Hey, how is he?
01:14:26No change.
01:14:28Uh, can I see him?
01:14:30No.
01:14:32He's, uh...
01:14:34He wouldn't know who you are,
01:14:36or talk.
01:14:38It's a coma.
01:14:40Um...
01:14:42Do you need anything?
01:14:44No, I'm fine.
01:14:46Uh...
01:14:48Uh...
01:14:50Uh...
01:14:52Uh...
01:14:54No, I'm fine.
01:15:04Where were you?
01:15:06Working.
01:15:08My last job.
01:15:10The Hilton.
01:15:12A whimper.
01:15:16Is his mom in there?
01:15:18No, she's back at our place getting some rest.
01:15:22What's going on?
01:15:24Oh, you never know.
01:15:26No, he doesn't. He's dead.
01:15:28What?
01:15:32Half an hour ago.
01:15:36That's the first time
01:15:38that I've said it.
01:15:40Very loud.
01:15:44A brain hemorrhage.
01:15:46That's why it was so fast.
01:15:48These...
01:15:50These brain things.
01:15:52That's why three weeks ago
01:15:54he was marching on Fifth Avenue.
01:15:58With me.
01:16:00Friedman?
01:16:02Come with me.
01:16:08Sterling?
01:16:10I'm so sorry.
01:16:12You're what?
01:16:14You're sorry?
01:16:16Oh, thank you, Jeffrey. Thank you.
01:16:18Darius is dead.
01:16:22Everyone, and I'm sorry, too.
01:16:32I'm sorry.
01:16:36Um, sir,
01:16:38is there anything that I can do?
01:16:42I wasn't enough.
01:16:44I wasn't important enough.
01:16:46I couldn't...
01:16:48snub it.
01:16:50Couldn't scare it off
01:16:52with a look.
01:16:54Couldn't shield him
01:16:56with raw silk and tassels
01:16:58and tiebacks.
01:17:00The limits of style.
01:17:04But you loved Darius,
01:17:06and Darius loved you.
01:17:08Jesus, Jeffrey, how can you?
01:17:10What?
01:17:12You know, I don't know why, Jeffrey.
01:17:14Well...
01:17:20No, I don't.
01:17:22I don't hate you.
01:17:26You hate me?
01:17:36Jeffrey, perhaps you should just not be here.
01:17:38Not just right now.
01:17:40Please, Sterling.
01:17:42Please, please let me help you.
01:17:44What can I do?
01:17:46What can you do, Jeffrey? Nothing.
01:17:48You're leaving. You're going away, too.
01:17:50Someplace insane.
01:17:52I'm sorry.
01:18:08I can stay for a few more days.
01:18:10Please go.
01:18:14You are not part of this.
01:18:16This has nothing to do with you.
01:18:26You know,
01:18:28Darius once said that you were
01:18:30the saddest person he ever knew.
01:18:36Why did he say that?
01:18:38Because he was sick.
01:18:40Because he had a fatal disease.
01:18:42And he was one million times happier than you.
01:18:46You loved Darius.
01:18:48And look what happens.
01:18:50Do you want me to go through this?
01:18:52With Steve?
01:18:54Yes.
01:19:00Jeffrey,
01:19:02guess what.
01:19:04It's the tunnel of light
01:19:06It's the tunnel of light
01:19:08you're supposed to see right before you die.
01:19:10With all your dead relatives.
01:19:22What are you?
01:19:24Are you some sort of
01:19:26grief-induced hallucination?
01:19:28Why did you come back?
01:19:30To see you.
01:19:32I figure you got here too late.
01:19:34I was already in the coma.
01:19:36Sweetheart, it's me.
01:19:38Aunt Phyllis.
01:19:40And Uncle Barney.
01:19:42And Cousin Gary.
01:19:44You'll love it.
01:19:46You look great.
01:19:48Did you bring me anything?
01:19:54Flowers.
01:19:56Where?
01:19:58I was in a hurry.
01:20:00Look who's here.
01:20:02Are you married?
01:20:04Jeffrey,
01:20:06I'm dead. You're not.
01:20:08I know that.
01:20:10You do? Prove it.
01:20:14What do you mean?
01:20:16Go dancing.
01:20:18Go to a show.
01:20:20Make out.
01:20:22Hate AIDS, Jeffrey.
01:20:24Not life.
01:20:26How?
01:20:28Just think of AIDS like
01:20:30the guest that won't leave.
01:20:32The one we all hate.
01:20:36But you have to remember.
01:20:38What?
01:20:40Hey, it's still our party.
01:20:48Darling,
01:20:50they're waiting.
01:20:52Wait, wait.
01:20:54Is that it?
01:20:56Is that all you have to tell me?
01:21:00Be nice to Sterling.
01:21:30There's a spring in the air
01:21:32On the way to your heart
01:21:34Welcome signs everywhere
01:21:36On the way to your heart
01:21:42And when hopes can arise
01:21:44Hi, Steve.
01:21:46Hi.
01:21:48Are you there?
01:21:50Are you screening your calls?
01:21:52Listen, it's Jeffrey,
01:21:54and I'm not in Wisconsin.
01:21:56I'm not a complete asshole.
01:21:58I'm going to have to see you.
01:22:00It's an emergency.
01:22:02Ten o'clock tonight at the Essex house.
01:22:04Please.
01:22:10Jeffrey?
01:22:14Jeffrey?
01:22:16Monsieur.
01:22:18What?
01:22:20What's going on?
01:22:22You said it was important.
01:22:28Table for two?
01:22:30Excuse me?
01:22:34Didn't we have a date?
01:22:40Oh, my God.
01:22:44Boy, I didn't think you'd come
01:22:46when I left the message.
01:22:48I didn't know if John would let you.
01:22:50Sean.
01:22:52Dump him.
01:22:54What?
01:22:56What do you mean?
01:22:58It was a little too late for that.
01:23:00Why?
01:23:02Sean dumped me.
01:23:04He did? Really?
01:23:06Well, he couldn't take it.
01:23:08The sex. He was exhausted.
01:23:10He's 22.
01:23:12Were you upset?
01:23:14Of course.
01:23:16A whole bunch?
01:23:18Goodbye, Jeffrey.
01:23:20Steve, if I asked you to,
01:23:22could we have sex?
01:23:24Some kind of sex.
01:23:26Tonight.
01:23:28What?
01:23:30You...
01:23:32You are really unbelievable.
01:23:40What is this, Jeffrey?
01:23:42What, you think it's so easy, huh?
01:23:44You just leave a message.
01:23:46Rent a tuxedo.
01:23:50I am still HIV positive.
01:23:52So?
01:23:54So?
01:23:56So it doesn't.
01:23:58Go away, Jeffrey.
01:24:00It only gets worse.
01:24:02I know.
01:24:04Don't do this, don't you...
01:24:06You fucker!
01:24:08Don't you pretend,
01:24:10because I will not be your good deed.
01:24:12You're not, you're not.
01:24:14I'm too selfish.
01:24:16I don't want a red ribbon.
01:24:18No, I am touched.
01:24:21Say we have sex.
01:24:25Say we like it.
01:24:27And say tomorrow morning,
01:24:29you decide to take off for Wisconsin.
01:24:31You won't.
01:24:33How do I know that?
01:24:35Because I am...
01:24:37I'm a gay man.
01:24:39And I live in this city.
01:24:41And I am not an innocent bystander.
01:24:43Not anymore.
01:24:46So...
01:24:53How bad do you want it?
01:24:55Oh...
01:24:59I'll find out.
01:25:04I'll find out.
01:25:06I'll find out.
01:25:08I'll find out.
01:25:10I'll find out.
01:25:12I'll find out.
01:25:14I'll find out.
01:25:16This is nice.
01:25:18You want it.
01:25:20Suddenly it's my decision.
01:25:22I get to be Jeffrey.
01:25:24Oh, fuck you.
01:25:26Maybe.
01:25:30Maybe?
01:25:32I think you should woo me first.
01:25:35Dinner.
01:25:37Maybe dancing.
01:25:39And then unbelievably hot sex.
01:25:43Not yet.
01:25:45What do you want?
01:25:49Jewelry.
01:25:51Yes.
01:25:55Yes.
01:25:59Yes?
01:26:01Yes.
01:26:09Yes.
01:26:15But Steve...
01:26:19First you have to promise me something.
01:26:26What?
01:26:28Promise me...
01:26:32...you will never...
01:26:37...done.
01:26:41And you will not die?
01:26:46Never.
01:26:52Liar.
01:27:01Really, we shouldn't do this.
01:27:06I mean, we're really asking for it.
01:27:08I mean, you give me one good reason.
01:27:10One good reason why we even have a prayer.
01:27:12One good reason.
01:27:14I do.
01:27:23I dare you.
01:27:31I dare you.
01:28:01I dare you.
01:28:31Immediately
01:28:34I'm looking for someone
01:28:38Someone who's looking for me
01:28:43We will walk as if we're on wings
01:28:47When that breathless moment arrives
01:28:51Talk of little intimate things
01:28:56As though we've known each other all our lives
01:29:01Some sweet day you'll come my way
01:29:05The one I'm longing to see
01:29:09I'm looking for someone
01:29:14Someone who's looking
01:29:16Someone who's looking
01:29:18Someone who's looking for me
01:29:22I don't know what to do without you
01:29:25I don't know what to do without you
01:29:29I don't know what to do without you
01:29:33I don't know what to do without you
01:29:37I don't know what to do without you
01:29:41I don't know what to do without you
01:29:45I don't know what to do without you
01:29:48I tried so hard to ignore this pain
01:29:52Cause I don't want my love to be in vain
01:29:56Such a simple thing to reward me now
01:30:00You walked in my life and I can't let you out
01:30:04I'd be so helpless without you
01:30:07Wouldn't know how to carry my whole life through
01:30:12From this day on I will never forget
01:30:16What a time, like the first night in May
01:30:21I don't know what to do without you
01:30:25I don't know what to do without you
01:30:27No, I don't know what to do
01:30:29I don't know what to do without you
01:30:33I don't know what to do without you
01:30:36I'll be lost without something to cling to
01:30:40Cause there's no one else who loves me like you do
01:30:44Such a wicked spell that you've given me
01:30:48I never thought this is the way that it would be
01:30:52I'd be so helpless without you
01:30:55Wouldn't know how to carry my whole life through
01:31:00From this day on I will never forget
01:31:04What a time, like the first night in May
01:31:09I don't know what to do without you
01:31:13I don't know what to do without you
01:31:16No, I don't know what to do
01:31:21I don't know what to do without you
01:31:24And I'll be lost without you
01:31:30I don't know what to do without you
01:31:33I don't know what to do without you
01:31:37I don't know what to do without you
01:31:39No I don't know what to do
01:31:42I don't know what to do without you
01:31:48I don't know what to do
01:31:55I don't know what to do
01:32:00I'll never, ever find another love like you
01:32:05I don't know what to do without you
01:32:08Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:38Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:42Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:46Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:50Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:54Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:32:58Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:02Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:06Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:10Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:14Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:18Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:22Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:26Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:30Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
01:33:34Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't