Tatay na, Nanay Pa! Buhay Single Dad | Share Ko Lang
Sabay nabalo at nawalan ng trabaho si Pedrosino Catubig. Nang makakuha siya ng trabaho bilang driver, walang pahinga si Pedring para maibigay ang lahat ng kailangan ng dalawang nagdadalagang anak na naiwan sa kanya. Ngayon ang kanyang panganay, kumukuha na ng abogasya at nasa pribadong eskwelahan ang bunso. Ang kahanga-hangang kwento ng ulirang ama, pakinggan ngayon sa Share Ko Lang!
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00:00How can two daughters raise up if you're a single dad?
00:06Father Pedring's two daughters were about to give birth when his wife got sick.
00:12At the same time, he lost his job.
00:15But nothing is impossible for a father-in-law.
00:20With his hard work as a driver, he was able to finish his main job as a magna cum laude in the prestigious UP Diliman.
00:31Let's listen to his story in Sierkula.
00:45Hello, Kapuso! I am Dr. Anna Tuazon, your storytelling psychologist in Sierkula.
00:52What challenges do single fathers face?
00:56That's what we're going to talk about with single father, Pedro Sino Catubig, or Father Pedring,
01:03who was able to finish his son's magna cum laude in UP Diliman.
01:08Hello, Father Pedring! Welcome to Sierkulang!
01:11Yes, thank you!
01:14What is the most difficult thing about being a single dad?
01:19When the kids get sick.
01:22I'm not used to it.
01:25Because when their mom was there,
01:29when I told her that I was just going to call her.
01:32Before, when they get sick,
01:35I would ask her to give them medicine.
01:38She would say, how are you? I'm okay.
01:40So, I'm fine.
01:42When my son got sick,
01:47I didn't know what to do.
01:49It's a good thing that BILASCO
01:53and BAYAW were able to help me.
01:56I was accompanied to the hospital.
01:58Because, of course, you don't have a big budget.
02:02You bring it to the public.
02:04When it reaches the public, they will refuse you.
02:06Because they will tell you to bring it to another hospital.
02:09Because, you know, what is your job?
02:11I'm a driver.
02:13Oh, there's no vacancy here.
02:16Just bring it to this place.
02:17I said, why should I bring it there?
02:20We're here.
02:22If, for example,
02:24I need help in our barangay,
02:29how can I bring it to our capital?
02:31We're in another barangay.
02:33We bring it to another hospital.
02:35That's what I'm really talking about.
02:37Sometimes, it's given.
02:40But you need to go to the hospital.
02:43Because they will ask you.
02:44If you're in a barangay,
02:46then,
02:48when my son was in the hospital,
02:50I brought it to the hospital.
02:55There's no doctor.
02:57I want to admit him here because it's private.
03:00My problem is,
03:02when we check out,
03:04I might have a problem
03:06because I don't have enough money.
03:08There was no pandemic at that time.
03:10In one bed, there were two or three people lying down.
03:12You just need to find a place to lie down.
03:17Then, I said,
03:19okay,
03:21I'll bring it to the ward.
03:23And it might hurt your heart
03:25because you want your son to be comfortable.
03:28You want him to talk to you.
03:30I wanted him to be comfortable.
03:32I thought the kid would cry
03:34because I didn't want to bring it to the ward.
03:36I wanted to bring it to a private place
03:38but I didn't have enough money.
03:40Okay, you can earn money,
03:43but you need to take care of him.
03:45You can't leave him alone.
03:47You want to take care of him.
03:49Because you were worried when he was sick.
03:51Yes.
03:53So, what I did was,
03:55I'll travel first.
03:57When I get home from the hospital,
03:59I'll leave my belongings.
04:01I'll just travel.
04:03When I get home,
04:05I'll go straight to the hospital.
04:06That's the only way to take care of the kids.
04:09So, when you're a single parent,
04:11or a single dad,
04:13it's very important to have a family.
04:15That you have someone to help you.
04:17It's impossible, right, dad?
04:19If you're alone.
04:21Yes, if you're alone.
04:23No one to help you.
04:25No one to back you up.
04:27No one to support you.
04:29It's really impossible.
04:31You really need someone
04:33to look after you.
04:34Someone to look after you.
04:36Someone to leave you alone.
04:38In the beginning,
04:40it was Bilasco who supported me.
04:43He looked after the kids.
04:45When I called him,
04:47he was already inside.
04:49He was already out.
04:51Now, I'm alone while I'm driving.
04:53I'm alone.
04:55Because,
04:57at 4 in the morning,
04:59I'm already leaving.
05:01Actually, it's the same, right, dad?
05:02Because, even if
05:04you know that he has someone to look after you,
05:07even if you're working,
05:09you're still thinking about him.
05:11It would be nice if you can afford
05:13to look after yourself.
05:15But, you don't.
05:17You don't have a choice.
05:19Yes, that's why.
05:21I'm used to it when they're still babies,
05:23that when I'm working,
05:25if I don't have a job,
05:27I'm the one to look after them.
05:29I'm the one to take care of them.
05:30I'm their mom.
05:32Who do you want to look after?
05:34Daddy?
05:36Okay, I'll take care of daddy.
05:38I'll look after him.
05:40Then, when he eats,
05:42when he wakes up,
05:44we'll go for a walk.
05:46We'll go for a walk.
05:48When we were pregnant,
05:50we'll go for a walk in the park.
05:52We'll go around the park.
05:54Yes.
05:56My mother,
05:57when she sees grass,
05:59she'll cut it.
06:01Whatever lives in the grass,
06:03when it blooms,
06:05she'll cut it.
06:07When it's 5 o'clock,
06:09we'll go home.
06:11Then, we'll prepare
06:13and eat.
06:15That's all.
06:17Now, when we go out,
06:19when we go home,
06:21we're still the same.
06:23We can't go home.
06:25Do you miss
06:27family life?
06:29Yes.
06:31Especially when they're still babies,
06:33they're happy together.
06:35Their mom was left at home,
06:37so their mom will cook.
06:39When you get home,
06:41she'll cook for you.
06:43Do you enjoy being a parent?
06:46Because it's different.
06:48Of course, we do our duties
06:50as parents.
06:52We work hard,
06:54we earn money.
06:55You also miss
06:57being a direct parent.
06:59You talk to each other,
07:01you joke around.
07:03It's like you're being teased.
07:05Right?
07:07When you go out,
07:09you're relaxed.
07:11If you don't earn a lot,
07:13you have someone
07:15to earn money with.
07:17So, you still enjoy life.
07:19When they're still babies,
07:21they don't choose
07:23what they need.
07:25For example,
07:27there's a toy.
07:29They say,
07:31it's beautiful.
07:33Then I say,
07:35when I earn money,
07:37we'll buy 10 pieces.
07:39For the kids.
07:41Of course,
07:43they're happy
07:45because we'll buy 10.
07:47Now, it's different.
07:49Now, it's different.
07:51Because now,
07:53they're adults.
07:55It's beautiful.
07:57They'll say,
07:59when we earn money,
08:01we'll buy 10.
08:03From the beginning,
08:05with Mama Mayet,
08:07your priority
08:09is your kids.
08:11They need to do everything.
08:13They need to stay at home
08:15to take care of the kids.
08:17They go to the store,
08:19they work,
08:21and they get sick.
08:23Is it sudden,
08:25sudden?
08:26Yes.
08:27And it's fast.
08:28You don't have time
08:29to understand what's happening.
08:31No, no.
08:32Because we're just sleeping,
08:33and then suddenly,
08:34I was attacked.
08:35Then I was taken to the hospital.
08:36Because in two days,
08:37I was gone.
08:39So, you didn't say goodbye.
08:41No, no.
08:44So, how old are Nona and Bea,
08:46your kids?
08:4716 and 13.
08:50How was it
08:51when I lost Mayet?
08:53For you,
08:54and for your kids?
08:56I just told them
08:58to focus on their studies.
09:00That's all.
09:01Just focus on your studies.
09:03And when they started studying,
09:05there was a pandemic.
09:08It was really hard.
09:09But,
09:11I told them
09:12we can do this
09:13because we're here.
09:19And you don't have a job yet.
09:21We don't have a job
09:22at that time.
09:25That's why
09:26when I applied,
09:28it was easy for me
09:29to get in as a driver.
09:31Did you have time
09:32for yourself back then?
09:34Or were you just
09:35all out
09:36focusing on your kids?
09:38Actually,
09:40I was just
09:43sometimes
09:45when you're depressed,
09:47you don't know
09:48what to think.
09:50For me,
09:52I was able to
09:53focus on
09:55driving.
09:58When I get home,
10:00I just eat
10:01and go to sleep.
10:03Sometimes,
10:04you don't even have
10:05a good night's sleep.
10:06But you need to get up
10:07because you have a trip.
10:09But now,
10:10your kids are all grown up.
10:11At least,
10:12Nona.
10:13You said
10:14she's also working
10:15and she's very independent.
10:17And Nona,
10:18she's a new member
10:19of UP.
10:20How did you feel
10:22when she graduated?
10:24I was surprised
10:26because she didn't tell me
10:28what her ranking was.
10:31When she graduated,
10:34Bonsu told me
10:37that she has an award.
10:39I asked,
10:40what award?
10:41She said,
10:42I don't know.
10:43I think she passed.
10:44I said,
10:45I don't know.
10:46She didn't tell me anything.
10:48When we were
10:49about to graduate,
10:51that's when I realized
10:52that she passed.
10:57I was happy
10:58and excited
11:01that
11:03I hope
11:04your mom is here
11:05so she can see you.
11:07But since she's not here anymore,
11:09there's nothing we can do.
11:11It's just in my mind.
11:15It's like
11:16you said,
11:18you weren't the only one
11:20who became a hindrance
11:21to the dreams of the kids.
11:22You and Mayet,
11:23even in the beginning,
11:25you were really there.
11:27We will give
11:29quality parenting.
11:30We won't be neglectful
11:32to them.
11:34And it looks like
11:35you have a good direction.
11:37We're hopeful.
11:39It's not over yet.
11:41What is
11:42the happiest part
11:44of being a single dad?
11:46For you.
11:48When my kids finish school.
11:50When they finish school.
11:52That's my role.
11:54I'm really happy
11:55when they finish school.
11:57The education
11:58doesn't disappear, right?
12:00When it's in the middle,
12:01it's there.
12:02The diploma.
12:04That's what I didn't do.
12:07Because before,
12:09I didn't think
12:10about studying.
12:12I didn't think
12:13about studying.
12:14No.
12:15Because
12:16when I was in the province,
12:18when I was studying in high school,
12:20I was okay to go to school.
12:22But if I learn,
12:23it's okay.
12:24No, no.
12:25It's just like that.
12:26So when I came to Manila,
12:28my sister told me
12:30that I should just study.
12:31I should just study
12:32as an electrician.
12:33I don't want that.
12:34I will go here
12:35to work.
12:36Then you will still
12:37study me.
12:38That's it.
12:39Now, dad,
12:40we asked our family
12:41to share
12:42their biggest challenge
12:44in being a single dad.
12:46Let's just share.
12:48So one of the family members said,
12:50at first,
12:51it was so hard and painful.
12:53You have to hide in the CR
12:55to cry
12:56so that your children
12:57won't see you.
12:58You have to cook
12:59when you have a day off.
13:00You have to wash.
13:01Even at night,
13:02when you go home,
13:03you have to wash.
13:04I experienced
13:05all the hardships
13:06and pain.
13:07But now,
13:08it's okay.
13:09My children are in college.
13:10Even if it's still hard,
13:12I can handle it.
13:14How about you, dad?
13:15Did you cry?
13:16Did you cry
13:18because of tiredness
13:19and hardship?
13:20Sometimes.
13:21Yes.
13:22There's nothing you can do.
13:23That's why it's hard.
13:25Especially when you're thinking
13:27if you can really do this.
13:29You just cry.
13:30You're sad.
13:32But you will still do it.
13:35And sometimes,
13:36is it hard
13:37to show it to others?
13:38To show it to your children
13:40that you're also having a hard time?
13:42Yes.
13:44One of our hearts said,
13:46be patient with each other
13:48especially when it comes to
13:49taking care of yourself.
13:51It's like you too, right?
13:52You didn't really take care
13:54of yourself.
13:57One of our hearts said,
13:59take care of your children
14:01when you have meetings
14:02at school.
14:03When you wash,
14:04when you cook,
14:05there's a lot.
14:06I'm a single dad
14:07of three
14:08and I'm proud
14:09of that.
14:11So, washing
14:13really became a challenge
14:15for people.
14:17It's good.
14:19It's really good
14:21when my wife and I were together.
14:22I really know how to wash.
14:24That's why I didn't have a hard time
14:25washing
14:26when she wasn't around.
14:28I'm used to washing.
14:31One of our hearts said,
14:33let's be patient
14:35when menstruation
14:36happens.
14:38I was asking you earlier,
14:40do you have experiences
14:42because your children
14:44are women,
14:46who helped them
14:48with these issues?
14:50Just them.
14:52They didn't do anything to me.
14:55In other words,
14:56Nona really became
14:57a good sister.
14:59Yes.
15:00She really helped.
15:02Yes.
15:03We have other hearts
15:04who shared
15:06their photos
15:08and sent pictures
15:10with their children.
15:12One of our hearts said,
15:14it's hard to think
15:16but we can do it together.
15:18No matter how much money we have,
15:20we need to fight
15:22the challenges of life.
15:24Even if we don't have enough time
15:26for each other,
15:27I still do things
15:29that make her happy.
15:31Until I'm alive,
15:32I will give my child
15:34the time and space
15:36in the world.
15:38It's like you two,
15:40right, dad?
15:41It's like that.
15:43It's like you see
15:44a common denominator.
15:46If you're a single dad
15:47or a single parent,
15:49you won't be comfortable
15:51with money.
15:53That's what you need
15:55to focus on.
15:57Because you're a breadwinner
15:58and a caregiver.
16:00You're also a caregiver.
16:01It's like you don't have
16:02a day off.
16:03You really don't.
16:05It's like that.
16:06Work at home,
16:07work outside.
16:09Because if you have a partner,
16:11for example,
16:12your partner is at home.
16:13Of course,
16:14if you make money,
16:15you come from outside.
16:16If you make money,
16:17you come from outside.
16:18This and that,
16:19when you go home.
16:20So, there are people
16:21who work at home.
16:22But since you're alone,
16:23when you go home,
16:24you also work.
16:26That's what's hard.
16:28And then,
16:29for example,
16:30you have to pay.
16:31You have to pay.
16:32The only person
16:33who can help you
16:34is me.
16:35I'll pay for it.
16:36I'll pay for it.
16:37I'll bring it.
16:39There's no one.
16:40If you say,
16:41you have to pay
16:42and you have a schedule.
16:43So, you need your time.
16:45That's what's hard.
16:46That's what's hard.
16:49Because it's all
16:51your responsibility.
16:53You don't have me.
16:54Right?
16:55You don't have me.
16:56Yes.
16:57So, we have
16:58other partners.
16:59Actually,
17:00one of them said,
17:01I'm hungry
17:02and I don't have money
17:03but I was able to live
17:04my child well
17:05even though
17:06we're single.
17:07And lastly,
17:08one of our partners
17:09is a proud
17:10single dad.
17:11I think it's the same.
17:12Aside from
17:13the big...
17:14Of course,
17:15we can't avoid
17:16the issue of
17:17having to earn
17:18for the family.
17:19The common denominator
17:20is also
17:21all of our
17:22partners
17:23are single dads.
17:24They're very proud
17:25of their upbringing.
17:27They're proud of their children.
17:28How about you?
17:29How proud
17:30are you of
17:31Nona and Bea?
17:33I'm proud of them
17:34because
17:36starting with Paul,
17:37he didn't really
17:38cause any problems.
17:40Aside from Bea,
17:41I was a bit...
17:42Because when
17:43Bea got sick,
17:44right?
17:45But now,
17:46she's okay.
17:47But I'm still proud
17:48because
17:50even though
17:51you didn't study
17:52in LASALDE,
17:53right?
17:54But she was able
17:55even though
17:56she had
17:57her own
17:58feelings
17:59about herself.
18:00But
18:01she was still able.
18:02So,
18:03what are
18:04your advice
18:05to other
18:06single fathers
18:07who might be
18:08having a hard time
18:09right now?
18:10What can you say
18:11to them?
18:12So,
18:13what I can say
18:14is that
18:16if you're alone,
18:17if you have
18:18children,
18:19if you're the first
18:20one to take care
18:21of your children,
18:22how can you
18:23raise them?
18:24There's no other
18:25way but
18:26to study.
18:27Because
18:28if you're going to
18:29work on that,
18:30that's it.
18:31You really
18:32need to study.
18:33Then,
18:34you need to support
18:35them.
18:36But you,
18:37even though
18:38it's hard,
18:39you really need
18:40to find
18:41a way to
18:42earn money
18:43so that you
18:44can raise
18:45your children.
18:46If you're going
18:47to study,
18:48right?
18:49Because
18:50there are
18:51schools
18:52that don't
18:53pay you.
18:54It shouldn't
18:55be like that.
18:56So,
18:57what I've
18:58learned from you
18:59is that
19:00you really
19:01don't
19:02limit yourself
19:03to your
19:04children's
19:05dreams.
19:06All of the
19:07sacrifices,
19:08efforts,
19:09exhaustion,
19:10sadness,
19:11right?
19:12Like,
19:13okay,
19:14you're going
19:15to endure it
19:16so that
19:17they can
19:18dream of
19:19being a doctor,
19:20a lawyer,
19:21studying abroad,
19:22right?
19:23So,
19:24don't
19:25limit yourself
19:26to your
19:27children's
19:28dreams.
19:29So,
19:30don't
19:31limit yourself
19:32to your
19:33children's
19:34dreams.
19:35Don't
19:36limit yourself
19:37to your
19:38children's
19:39dreams.
19:40Don't
19:41limit yourself
19:42to your
19:43children's
19:44dreams.
19:45Don't
19:46limit yourself
19:47to your
19:48children's
19:49dreams.
19:50Don't
19:51limit yourself
19:52to your
19:53children's
19:54dreams.
19:55Don't
19:56limit yourself
19:57to your
19:58children's
19:59dreams.
20:00Don't
20:01limit yourself
20:02to your
20:03children's
20:04dreams.
20:05Don't
20:06limit yourself
20:07to your
20:08children's
20:09dreams.
20:10Don't
20:11limit yourself
20:12to your
20:13children's
20:14dreams.
20:15Don't
20:16limit yourself
20:17to your
20:18children's
20:19dreams.
20:20Don't
20:21limit yourself
20:22to your
20:23children's
20:24dreams.
20:25Don't
20:26limit yourself
20:27to your
20:28children's
20:29dreams.
20:30Don't
20:31limit yourself
20:32to your
20:33children's
20:34dreams.
20:35Don't
20:36limit yourself
20:37to your
20:38children's
20:39dreams.
20:40Don't
20:41limit yourself
20:42to your
20:43children's
20:44dreams.
20:45Don't
20:46limit yourself
20:47to your
20:48children's
20:49dreams.
20:50Don't
20:51limit yourself
20:52to your
20:53children's
20:54dreams.
20:55Don't
20:56limit yourself
20:57to your
20:58children's
20:59dreams.
21:00Don't
21:01limit yourself
21:02to your
21:03children's
21:04dreams.
21:05Don't
21:06limit yourself
21:07to your
21:08children's
21:09dreams.
21:10Don't
21:11limit yourself
21:12to your
21:13children's
21:14dreams.
21:15Don't
21:16limit yourself
21:17to your
21:18children's
21:19dreams.