The Good Life - S01E01 - Plough Your Own Furrow
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00:30Oh
01:00Mozart and Mendelssohn were dead by 40. Why aren't you?
01:09How thoughtful
01:17You bitch did you call look
01:20When I get a birthday car for my wife, I expect a sentimental loving sickly verse not another nail in your coffin you old wreck
01:27No, you can't allow me to cake
01:30It's half-past eight in the morning
01:33still
01:44Yes, well, it's half-past eight
01:49What have you got there come on you had it my present come on
01:57What's over here, it's the book
02:00You got it. There's more listeners. Oh, not the Vaughn Williams nearly Sophie Tucker
02:15Funny old age isn't it 40 to a 78 when she made that not Sophie Tucker me
02:20What are those milestone ages isn't it life begins at 40? That's a fallacy for a start
02:24Did you know that after the age of 40 the body runs down?
02:27Something like two million cells die per day, and they're not replaced not ever
02:32Thank you. What part of the body do these cells disappear from all over?
02:37It's not that I'm feeling old I don't feel any older than yesterday when I was 39
02:40It's just that I'm doing a review. Can I be in it? I eat W sort of stock-taking. I'm not getting all bitter and twisted
02:47I'm not saying I've had a rotten life
02:49Well do you realize that rat men enough composed his first piano concerto at the age of 19
02:56That's great is it well never mind Grieg or I agree. It's just a feeling. I've got is it me see that
03:04Job that I'm not especially a job is a job is a job
03:07It wouldn't make it any better really if I was designing something useful. I'd still be a grotty little cog in a whacking great machine
03:12No, it's I don't know it's it's quality of life
03:16That's what I'm after if I could just get eaten, right
03:19What's it?
03:21it
03:22well it is
03:26It
03:28Well if I see it lying about I shall say now look here. It's my husband's had enough of you
03:32Not being very specific am I borderline don't worry. I'm not going broody. I'm not doing it if only I've got no patience with that
03:38No, I'll tackle it and get it right soon as I know what it is. Oh
03:42There's Jerry here we go again
03:44No
03:49Commute commute commute
03:56Goodbye darling have a nice day keep your bowels open
04:01I
04:13See the pills aren't having any effect
04:23You look like an advert for gracious living I am
04:26I'm good reposted with his first bomb though the day shut your mouth
04:50Morning miss Ledbetter
04:57I
04:59Really made an impact with you over the years have I got sciatica good
05:08No, that's my name called Blimey I've only been here eight years
05:18Morning morning lovely morning. Good morning
05:26Oh
05:56Hey
05:59Come on
06:02Oh
06:25Are you fewing at this Brian I am mr. Good it really is something isn't it yes tears
06:30It's a mold for a plastic hippopotamus is going to end up in a packet of breakfast cereal
06:35You've got a hand it to the ideas men on the fifth floor haven't you electric shock treatment preferably ideas men
06:41They sit up there like the gargoyles on top of Notre Dame
06:44Every now and again one of them jumps up puts on his jesters cap and says Eureka hippopotamus
06:49I'm sorry mr. Good. I didn't mean to take any credit away from you
06:53Everybody knows it's you who bring their ideas to life that is guilt by association. Oh come you wouldn't want us to go back to
06:59The Dark Ages breakfast cereals without little plastic gifts it would still taste the same
07:04That's hardly the point surely. I'm talking about aesthetic values
07:09Your hippopotamus for example
07:14Sit down Brian
07:16Now look why don't you try to get out more fun?
07:21Lusting after women plague sport I played cricket on Sunday fine great. Let's talk about cricket for a couple of hours
07:30Hello
07:31Yes, Jerry
07:32All right, I'll be up sixth floor. Oh, and you better get a move on cricket. That's where my cone cricket
07:37Who did you play for well just the office office fine? That's all I want to know
07:47Which office well this office here we played accounts
07:51I
07:56Mean this office nobody asked me we didn't need to we got my dad to umpire
08:03I'm not talking about umpiring. I would have liked to play play you well. Why not me?
08:09Well, you're we didn't think it still feel up to it at my age. Do you mean?
08:14Yes, I
08:16Might tell you that Jack Hobbs scored more than half of his first-class centuries when he was past 40
08:22Who's Jack Hobbs?
08:25You bloody little swine
08:29Listen you lot. I am a run machine a run machine
08:34And I bowl
08:46I
08:48Mean oh
08:51Tom good of you to pop up. I just wondered if you could let me have a mock-up of your hippo for Friday
08:57I can manage it by Thursday actually Thursday
09:00Listen you've seen me play cricket. I'm Joe
09:05What up at Flitwick don't you remember it was 10 years ago
09:08Yeah, but I played though and if I'm not very much mistaken, I made a few that day one
09:12I
09:16Got a much the wickets there in I know you didn't bowl you strained your back getting your run. I
09:22Played though, didn't I?
09:24Yes, would you mind explaining to those children in my office that I still play cricket do you?
09:30Well, no, but I could if I was asked
09:32Still got the middle-aged blues. Have you? Yeah, that's another thing. Why are they all so young?
09:36Why should I be lumbered with running a crèche? Do you really want to know? Yes
09:41All right, oh
09:45Well, I want gas if I'm gonna have fillings
09:49We joined this company much
09:52Eight years ago, wasn't it?
09:55And you know something I was frightened of you then
09:59No, that's about
10:01I'll tell you why
10:02You were a better draughtsman than I was and you had better qualifications than mine
10:07I was going to have to rely on pure cunning just to keep up with you
10:11Still I needn't have bothered me. I'm cuz look at us
10:14I'm up here and you're down there
10:17Not getting picked for cricket teams
10:20Why because you use about one-tenth of your ability? I have to use all mine and what I lack
10:26I make up for with sheer bloody crawling. Oh
10:30I
10:31Cannot see the world as a giant plastic toy. How can you seriously make it your life's work?
10:36It isn't it just brings in the goodies. I see. I see. All right, right
10:40So if I unleash all this dynamite, I'm carrying around to me
10:43I'd be up in the seventh heaven on the old sixth floor, too
10:45Yes, let's face it my just as well because you're not gonna walk into another job at your age. Hi
10:52I'll hit you with my crutch in a minute. No, seriously
10:55Listen mate perch and all that Glover's made me a very attractive offer only just recently not all that recently. He's been dead for four years
11:03You see
11:04Your business mind is just like plastic before it goes into one of our molds
11:09Formless you just drift along. Isn't it all funny? Is it all ridiculous? Yes, you do
11:14Grown-men getting ulcers over toy hippos. Well, it is funny, isn't it? Of course. It's funny, but not out loud
11:19Oh
11:21Miss Barton, it is funny, but not out loud. Oh
11:24Search yourself, and I'm warning Tom unless you start to take this job. Seriously
11:30Damn it all you're not Peter Pan
11:32You spare a minute Jerry
11:35Yes, of course
11:36What I have a chat to you about our wildlife preservation line. Oh, well, no, don't go Tom
11:41I think perhaps Tom ought to sit in on this one, sir
11:44Why?
11:47Where's he from fourth floor? Oh
11:50Yes, I'm afraid I don't get out of the fourth floor as often as I'd like
11:53In fact, Tom is our top draftsman. So he's working on the toy hippo at the moment. Oh, really?
11:58Oh, no, how's it?
12:00going coming
12:02Well, as you know, the problem with these advanced designs is surface area to weight ratio
12:06Yes quite in the case of the hippopotamus. I've stylized the head somewhat to obviate overhang
12:10Have you so that at the mock-up stage which I have laid on for Thursday incidentally, sir. Ah, yes Thursday
12:16I'm working on the principle of 3 by 1.5 base with a maximum height at the rump of 1 centimeter
12:23This gives us a box mass of 5 grams, which is naturally in line with the serial manufacturers package specifications
12:29You know, there's a much better view from the fifth floor
12:34Tom
12:35I'd like you to sit in on this one. Now. Look here
12:39Our bubble has just come off the top of the think-tank and I don't mind telling you that this is an absolute
12:46Blockbuster of an idea. It's gonna put our wildlife preservation series in the vanguard of world and
12:53I do mean world
12:55moldings
12:58No, you can't can you
13:01Our next mold is going to be a giraffe
13:08And Tom I'm thinking of putting this giraffe on your plate
13:15I
13:45I
14:07Was just thinking of taking a spoonful of cornflakes and finding a hippopotamus in your mouth
14:13It's choker child week folks
14:24Honestly, you should have heard sir, you would have thought he'd invented penicillin I couldn't help laughing
14:28Did he call you to study and give you six of the best? No Jerry told him I had recurrent malaria
14:36Don't think so. So in the afternoon he called me. Mr. Ohm again. Oh
14:40Hmm. Oh, I know I blew it but well, I should think so. I mean we do have certain standards to keep up
14:47sanity little things like that
14:50I'd run off with you if you weren't married. I even love your varicose veins
14:56I'll grow it in the shape of your initial
14:59Mind you it's our future. I'm blowing, you know in four years time Brian and all the whiz kids will be up on the fifth floor
15:05Where will I be doing a mr. Chips with a lot of infants?
15:08All right me the house is paid for fine, but well, when was the last time you had a new coat last week?
15:18Anyway, that's that's
15:20Things we've never just wanted things we don't need things. No, we're a very spiritually advanced couple, aren't we?
15:29Anyway, you don't make enough for a lot of things
15:32I
15:34Tell you what's the bottom of all this all this it business you're on about this morning
15:38I had to think in the garden after you left
15:40You know, why do you always go into the garden to think not having an affair with that gnome? We haven't got on
15:47I just think best in the garden. Well, do you come up with something? No, sir. That's all right
15:57Hey, I
15:59Was brilliant at algebra school, wasn't I? I don't know I was big head X the unknown it
16:06In order to track it down. All you have to do is those things you do in algebra. What are they? I
16:11can't remember
16:13Those really firing on all cylinders today. Oh, yeah. No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute
16:17you
16:20You put all your known factors down first, that's it. That's it paper paper quickly woman paper
16:29Ah
16:31Right
16:34Known
16:37Factors what I put one
16:40JJM limited stinks right get another job to do not
16:46Really want a job at all. That's a lot of good, isn't it? Oh, no, come on. All right three
16:52Do not want to
16:55shuffle off
16:57Mortal coil without
17:01Accomplishing something
17:03For do not want to feel the same way
17:09At 41 and now you're getting somewhere right now JJM stinks. We don't want that
17:15You've heard of the don't knows I come across one of the don't want to
17:20All right new page file that
17:22Right, right what I want I
17:30Want it
17:35Shall we go to bed? Yes
17:41Happy birthday big deal
17:52Oh
18:19Just a minute
18:22I
18:32Go bar gas
18:33Go bar is the Hindi for cow dung
18:36One cubic foot of gas may be generated from one pound of cow dung
18:41NB check this figure for animal droppings generally
18:46I
18:48Haven't caught you indulging in some private fetish. Am I?
18:51And I know what I can leave my hands on a rotary cultivator. Oh, I didn't get up at all. It's a dream
18:56Yeah, yeah, come here
18:58sit down
18:59Have some flat champagne. Why not?
19:03Listen, you know that it's business. Oh, no. No, I'm not
19:06No, no, I've defined what it is. It's breaking the circle
19:12What circle going to work to get money
19:16To translate into things which you use up which makes you go to work again, etc
19:20Etc the norm what we should be doing is working at the job of life itself
19:24This isn't some sort of religious conversion. Is it? Yes
19:28Now you're going to ask me how to put this into practical terms
19:31How to put this into practical terms, right? Here goes. I
19:35Quit work and we become as damn near self-sufficient as possible. We've got bags of garden
19:41We grow our own food. We keep some animals chickens a pig. We produce our own energy recycle rubbish
19:47We design the things we need I'll show you what being a draftsman is really all about now
19:52Some things we can't make right some things we can't grow right?
19:55So we flog our surplus and buy stuff and that's without good old medieval barter
20:00It'll be damn hard work
20:02We won't have much in the way of mod cons
20:03But might even enjoy discovering what we can do without and we won't need the world and his wife to give us the yay or nay
20:09It'll be just us doing it for us
20:13What do you think?
20:15Hey
20:17What do you think I?
20:21Need to think garden yes, right
20:28Yeah, right, okay coat
20:39Right
20:51Okay
21:02You want to sell up and buy a smallholding in the country to do this no no
21:05This isn't meant to be the full going back to nature bit anyway
21:08We love this house far too much to get rid of it self-sufficiency insurbance. Yes. I know it'll make the road look a bit unusual
21:22I couldn't kill chickens right I'll chop their heads off with my black and decker while you're not looking
21:36Oh
21:44What happens when we need new clothes, I'll have made the loon by then what with a wool off the belt
22:06Oh
22:08Well
22:12Well
22:16Well
22:18You're on
22:19What we'll do it
22:21Now look have you thought about this?
22:24What do you think I've been doing taking my wellies for a walk now?
22:27We don't have to be total commitment. I mean all our savings will go
22:29We've got to set ourselves up and then hold out till our first harvest comes in and pays off always providing
22:34You've got Colorado beetle wireworm slugs foul pest all that kind of thing there'll be a thousand problems
22:39I mean, how do you pasteurize milk, but how do you do that? How do you help a pig in labor?
22:46What happens when you let it your last pair of tights say the goats ran under a bus
22:55163 by the time we do anything
22:59Say it worked
23:01Just say it worked. Well, we'll try and make it work
23:12How old I know what it is
23:18Probably just some drunk Jerry, would you please get out of bed and have a look good sake. Thank you
23:31I
23:46Said what the devil do you think you're doing? We are dancing in our goldfish
23:54It's the goods they're dancing their goldfish
24:01Thought that
24:03Why
24:08Your birthday was yesterday. No, we're celebrating we found out how to beat it
24:15If you're so damned interested Margo, why don't you get out of bed yourself and have a look
24:20If you must behave like lunatics kindly do so quietly have a little consideration. Sorry Jerry
24:31Oh
24:39Look at the state of this bed
24:44Floor I know
25:01I
25:31Morning Jerry, what a lovely day the very lovely night
25:36Sorry about that. However, I'm still big enough to offer you a lift
25:39That is unless you've got the car going again. I haven't got a car to get going swapped it for that first thing this morning
25:44Look, it's 20 to 9. It is first thing this morning
25:47Not for us sons of the soil market gardener. He won't turn him up at half past 7 swap was done by 8
25:53Well, you're gonna look very silly driving up Kingsway on that
25:56Driving up Kingsway mate is no longer a part of my life. Oh my god, sir
26:00Sacked you for laughing other way around. I sacked sir
26:04Are you gonna do got five minutes? Yes
26:18Insurgent you sure you won't have that brandy. You're mad. You realize that you're you're
26:25Looking for a superlative totally insane. Yes rubbish
26:30Tom
26:31Man said the goat will be here by noon. Lovely
26:35goat
26:37Folly it just won't work. You're you're totally insane
26:41Jerry, we've never been saner in all our lives. Now, if you excuse me, I've got 300 weight of spots to put it
27:00I
27:30You