Top 3 The Dicator BEST Scenes 4K(1080P_HD)
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00:00Why are you guys so anti-dictators?
00:03Imagine if America was a dictatorship.
00:06You could let 1% of the people have all the nation's wealth.
00:11You could help your rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes
00:15and bailing them out when they gamble and lose.
00:19You could ignore the needs of the poor for health care and education.
00:23Your media would appear free but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family.
00:29You could wiretap phones.
00:31You could torture foreign prisoners.
00:34You could have rigged elections.
00:36You could lie about why you go to war.
00:39You could fill your prisons with one particular racial group and no one would complain.
00:44You could use the media to scare the people into supporting policies that are against their interests.
00:52I know this is hard for you Americans to imagine, but please try.
00:57I will tell you what democracy is.
01:00Democracy is the worst.
01:02Endless talking and listening to every stupid opinion.
01:05And everybody's vote counts, no matter how crippled or black or female they are.
01:12Democracy...
01:20Democracy has hairy armpits.
01:25It could lose five pounds.
01:28Democracy looks like a midget in a chemo wig.
01:32Democracy kisses you because she wants to, not because her father is in the next room
01:38chained to a radiator with electrodes attached to his nibbles.
01:42Democracy is flawed.
01:44She is not perfect.
01:47But democracy...
01:50I love you.
01:52And that is why I call for real democracy, a real constitution, and real elections in Wadi Yah.
02:06Oh, no!
02:09Come on!
02:19Democracy, I will make you one of my waves.
02:23Okay, only wave. We'll vote on it.
02:26I'll shave my armpits for you.
02:28Oh, praise be to the creator.
02:30And please stop using that organic deodorant.
02:33You could gas the cards with that stench.
02:49Democracy...
02:55Eccentric and with unlimited oil wealth, he recently hosted his own Olympic Games.
03:00On your mark, get set...
03:11At which he won 14 gold medals.
03:15Al-Adeen! Al-Adeen! Al-Adeen!
03:20Often described as ignorant, he changed over 300 Wadian words to Al-Adeen,
03:25including the words positive and negative, causing mass confusion.
03:30Do you want the Al-Adeen news or the Al-Adeeners?
03:35The Al-Adeen news.
03:39You are HIV Al-Adeen?
03:43Yes.
03:57With pressure mounting, Al-Adeen addressed his nation today.
04:13Al-Adeen! Al-Adeen! Al-Adeen!
04:34People of Wadi Al, I come before you today
04:39to tell you that the world shall kneel before our great nation.
04:44We are two months away from enriching weapons-grade uranium
04:51to be used for peaceful purposes.
04:55Yes.
05:04It will be used only for medical research and clean energy.
05:10It will. It will.
05:12And will certainly never be used to attack his... Oh, boy.
05:17You really... You've never jerked off?
05:21Okay, come with me.
05:23Where are you taking me to? The rape center?
05:29This is silly.
05:31Okay, um, take your penis out and put it in your hands.
05:36This is silly.
05:39Now, slowly move your hand up and down.
05:43Okay.
05:45I told you already, this is silly.
05:48Wait. What sorcery is this?
06:19I did it. I just jerked it completely off.
06:22I did it all by myself with this hand right here.
06:26I grabbed my billboard like I was strangling a bird
06:29and I smacked it and I smacked it and I gave it a flick
06:32and out came my own labaner.
06:34Zoey? Zoey!
06:36Zoey!
06:38Zoey!
06:40Zoey!
06:42Zoey!
06:44Zoey!
06:46Zoey! Zoey!
06:48You have changed my life.
06:50Give a man a vagina and he will speak for a day.
06:54Teach a man to use his hand as a vagina
06:57and he will speak for a lifetime.
07:02Is something the matter?
07:04That was the guy from the Lancaster on the phone.
07:06He just fired us.
07:08What? Why?
07:09He said he came by and someone kicked his son.
07:13They've given the contract to Green World Market.
07:16We must get the contract back. I have to be at the signing.
07:19I don't know what to say.
07:21My staff lacks the discipline and motivation to do this job.
07:25We will see about that.
07:27But from now on, it is my way
07:30or the Hay Wah Hadma Afar Washraqnik way.
07:34Okay.
07:36There has been a regime change.
07:38Yo, you are stocking the shelves.
07:41You, senile Romanian accountant,
07:44you are on the cash register.
07:46The CEO of Green World does not drive a hybrid.
07:52The chemicals in Green World produce
07:54made this boy grow tits.
08:02You promise not to steal again?
08:04I won't. I won't.
08:06Give him one more for fun, Victor.
08:08Oh!