Ultima 7  The Black Gate  by Noah Antwiler | The Spoony Experiment - video Dailymotion

Kanal Mongomedial

Willkommen auf KANAL MONGOMEDIAL  ❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️ Alle Mongotare: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WUtfJINTgBtjSbrSJTZtUxr  ✓Leon Elektronik Playliste: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WVrfzhBUhfEUBACjL3krtLhZ ✓Basti & Chanti - Die Seelmanns https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WWpdktUX9WIi-nUaajoP4Cq ✓ Kapitän Kevin Playliste: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WWA7N8NSQ5tGrLe0u-3uSPf ✓Gemischte LACHKUH Tüte https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WUJ23NWMHk7WGEe2nzvqCFP ✓Der Asozialste Talk im Netz Playliste: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWQ-4sbH3WVYwamRO3oHnXOi622HR1rb ❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️-❤️  Überall Folgne Alder! In mein LINKTREE findest du mein Twitter und mein DAYLIEMOTION Archiv, wo ich alles Uploade was geil ist und weit auf Youtube verstreut is: https://linkr.bio/KanalMongomedial

Transcript

00:00I met you on the first day, right after you woke

00:07Well, Saturday I'm a-beggin' on you, baby, just leave me alone

00:14You're turnin' me upside down, pullin' me to the ground

00:18When you shake me, shake me, I'm givin' you what you need

00:22And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

00:30And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

00:35And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:00And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:05And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:10And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:15And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:20And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:25And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:29And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:33And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:37And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:41And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:45And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:49And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:53And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

01:57And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:01And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:05And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:09And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:13And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:17And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:21And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:25And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:29And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:33And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:37And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:41And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:45And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:49And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:53And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

02:57And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:01And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:05And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:09And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:13And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:17And I'm beggin', please don't break me, break me, love

03:21Okay, it was a cool innovation at the time. You never used to get this in games.

03:25Know, oh, that Britannia has entered into a new age of enlightenment.

03:32Know that the time has finally come for the one true lord of Britannia to take his place in the head of his people.

03:40And all the people shall rejoice and pay homage to their new guardian.

03:49Know that you too shall kneel before me, Avatar.

03:53For I shall be your companion, your provider, and your master.

04:04This is the Guardian.

04:06I'm the Guardian.

04:07Ah, no! Not that one!

04:09This is the Guardian of Ultima 7 and he is a far more effective villain.

04:13This guy literally sticks his head through your monitor and tells you he's gonna take over Britannia and shit on your couch

04:18because he's a big red motherfucker and that's how he rolls.

04:21So you go over there and find that over 200 years have passed because time works differently between your two worlds

04:27but it doesn't really matter because apparently people in Britannia live longer than Yoda

04:31because all your old companions are still alive and looking pretty good.

04:34The deal is that nobody here has actually heard of the Guardian except you.

04:38But since you've been gone, people have sort of forgotten about the whole Avatar thing

04:41and have started up a new similar religion called the Fellowship

04:44which is less introspection, independence and virtue

04:47and more traditional church-going, passing collection plates and singing hymns on Sunday.

04:51Even Lord British recommends that you join since the Fellowship does a lot of good charity work

04:55and pretty much stands for all the same stuff you do.

04:57Plus they give you a free necklace if you sign up and pancakes in the Fellowship Hall.

05:01Oh, that sounds great!

05:02I mean, except for the fact that they're evil pod people being controlled by a red dude from another dimension

05:07and nobody will believe you.

05:09In fact, the first thing you see upon your arrival in Britannia

05:12is the brutal ritualistic murder of the local blacksmith.

05:15Oh, God!

05:17I mean, whoa!

05:19They even staked his manservant to the wall with a fucking pitchfork!

05:23Immediately it's clear that in this game the mood has officially changed.

05:27Shit just got real.

05:29And you better believe this stirred a lot of controversy back in the day.

05:32This was more graphic and brutal gore than had ever really been shown in an RPG up to this point.

05:37Jesus, this is stuff you'd see in the movie Seven.

05:40And yet nobody makes the connection that this guy who was carefully staked to the ground,

05:44quartered with an axe and his blood carefully collected in buckets

05:47has anything to do with the only organized religion in the world.

05:51Now, don't get me wrong, I like the story, but I think this is where the narrative really drops the ball.

05:56You've got a really interesting setup here.

05:58You're the Avatar, the founder of a religion or philosophy that's guided the world into salvation and enlightenment

06:03and you return after two centuries to find that, well, basically it's grown obsolete.

06:08The world's moved on, evolved into a new way of thinking and practicing religion and they're doing fine.

06:13People are happy, giving to charity and honestly things are a lot smoother than when you were around.

06:18You remember that gargoyle war? Yeah, that was on you.

06:21I mean, sure, you may have your suspicions.

06:23The place is rather culty with their robes and secret medallions

06:27and you suspect they might be trafficking in a new narcotic called Silver Serpent Venom.

06:31And of course the ritual murder and the nailing of a guy to a wall with a pitchfork,

06:35but it's all suspicion, it's nothing solid.

06:37You've got this dilemma here on whether or not you should really be meddling

06:40and telling people what kind of religion they can and can't worship.

06:44Or at least you would have a dilemma if the game didn't immediately remove all ambiguity

06:48about the Fellowship being irredeemably evil.

06:53There's no surprises here. From the beginning the game just outright tells you these guys are the villains.

06:58The first thing I wanted to do was to kick down the door of the Fellowship Hall

07:01and start beating some answers out of dudes, but of course you can't do that.

07:04You have to follow the breadcrumb trail of clues through the whole game,

07:07which leads to the Fellowship, but way to ruin the suspense here

07:10by having this guy appear and twirl his mustache at you.

07:13They don't even try to pretend like this Guardian guy might be on the level,

07:16like he might really be a benevolent deity. I don't know, it bothers me.

07:19But somebody answer me this.

07:21Why does the Guardian even bother to taunt you in the first place?

07:24His ultimate goal is to build this interdimensional black gate,

07:27come through and take over the world.

07:30But why advertise your presence? To rub my face in it or something?

07:34Wait until after you've won, dude!

07:36If you'd never said anything, I'd never have known you'd taken over Britannia

07:39until it was way too late.

07:41I'd still be looking for that sumbitch who stole my Xbox at the end of Ultima V.

07:44Instead you had to go and piss me off and ensure that I'm coming to Britannia to try to stop you.

07:49Okay, so you find the murdered blacksmith and try to find evidence of the Fellowship's involvement.

07:54You're joined by the blacksmith's son, a little kid named Anakin, I mean, Spark.

07:58He's quick but obviously not much with a sword,

08:01so naturally I did the logical thing and gave him a shotgun.

08:04What? I'm the goddamn Avatar, I'm supervising him!

08:08But yeah, that's pretty much the plot. It starts off really simply.

08:12You're chasing the suspects of the murder, two Fellowship missionaries named Elizabeth and Abraham,

08:16all over Britannia and fighting crime on the way.

08:19Eventually you discover the Fellowship is secretly working to bring the Guardian into the world

08:23by constructing a blag-ho, and to prevent anyone from interfering,

08:27they also build these weird geometric generators that have ruined the magical aether,

08:31disrupted the moon gates, and driven all the wizards on the planet uselessly mad.

08:35Elizabeth and Abraham are always one step ahead of you in this story,

08:39and the only way to follow them is to go undercover in the Fellowship.

08:42The main villains are really the creepy head of the Fellowship, Batlin,

08:45and his right-hand pirate man, Captain Hook.

08:48Yes, it's really Captain Hook.

08:51You also have to talk to fucking Chuckles again in this game,

08:54and to get a vital clue, you have to play the game.

08:58This was infuriatingly annoying back in the day,

09:01since you had no idea how to play the game, nobody tells you,

09:04and this was before you could just look stuff up on the internet.

09:07When you finally figured it out, you wanted to skin Chuckles alive

09:10and throw his carcass in a salt mine.

09:12The trick is, you have to use only one-syllable words,

09:15and if you don't, he stops talking to you, and you have to start all over again.

09:19Oh, and by the way, I reviewed the footage from the last review,

09:22and Chuckles fucking cheated!

09:24He used a two-syllable word!

09:26What asshole wrote his jokes, anyway?

09:28Like I said, the plot is somewhat frustrating when you already know

09:32the guy in charge of the Fellowship is evil,

09:34but you have to play along with the story like a dope

09:36and do all the things Batlin asked you to do

09:38to prove your body Phaetons are purged, or something.

09:41Batlin gives you a quest to prove your worth of the Fellowship

09:43by sending you to collect a hidden cache of Fellowship funds

09:46from the dungeon Destard.

09:48Do not worry, it is completely deserted.

09:51Uh-huh, deserted my ass!

09:53Fuck you, Batlin, this place is full of fucking dragons!

09:56Look at all the fucking dragons! Look at them!

09:59How the fuck did they get a chest here in the first place?

10:02And when you go back to confront him with his lies that lured you into certain death,

10:06oh, he's ready for you.

10:08With an apology!

10:10Yeah! And you have to put up with it!

10:12Fuck this! I wanna shove my sword up his ass!

10:15Why can't I kill this dickhead?

10:17Ugh, anyway, the most awesome part of this game is an expansion pack

10:20called The Forge of Virtue,

10:22which adds some weird new island that mysteriously rises out of the ocean,

10:25causing earthquakes and destruction all over Britannia.

10:28Lord British tells you to go check it out, and when you do,

10:31you find it's the ruins of Castle Exodus from Ultima III.

10:34But sadly, there's no killer grass surrounding it now.

10:36The Black Core at the heart of Exodus is still beating,

10:39and you have to pass the tests of truth, love, and courage to banish it to the Vortex.

10:43Yep, you gotta get rid of the Dark Core of Exodus.

10:46Why do we keep leaving these pieces of the world-destroying monsters

10:50just laying around to destroy and corrupt the world?

10:53Is it too much to ask Lord British to send some guys to clean up after I'm done?

10:57You remember at the beginning when I said this game was violent and dark?

11:00Yeah, that was nothing.

11:02That was barely the beginning compared to the other shit you see in the dungeons of this place.

11:06I mean, oh! Oh my God! Oh Jesus, look!

11:10A sorcerer just sacrificed a baby to summon a demon flanked by a horde of headless abominations!

11:16Look at the bones!

11:18I don't think I've ever seen a game this dark and graphic.

11:21I mean, okay, you saw a mass grave for children in SWAT 4,

11:25which is one of the most nightmarish things I can imagine,

11:28but even in that, you didn't actually see a ritualistically vivisected infant on an altar to a dark god.

11:34Anyway, the whole point of the Forge of Virtue expansion pack is to create an obsidian sword,

11:38and to give it power, you infuse the blade with the trapped greater demon.

11:42This is where the game gets simultaneously awesome and ridiculous.

11:45By the end of the Forge, your attributes are maxed,

11:47and when you exile the Dark Core of Exodus, Lord British raises your strength to double maximum.

11:52And you have the black sword, which can suck the soul out of any creature in the game

11:56and kill them instantly at your command.

11:58And you're supposed to be the good guy in this game.

12:00I'm not even kidding. You have the touch of death now.

12:03It doesn't matter what you wanna fight, demons, dragons, hydras, whatever.

12:06You touch it, it dies.

12:08But I know what you're thinking, because it's the exact same thought

12:11that crossed every single gamer's mind in the world when the black sword tells you about its ultimate power.

12:16Can I use the touch of death on Lord British?

12:20You can kill the shit out of him.

12:22You even get a very theatrical scene where you take great pleasure in killing the lazy prick.

12:27There can be only one, you immortal fuck!

12:31This game spoils us.

12:33It's all about being a nice guy and not doing this sort of thing,

12:36but it still allows us to indulge in our perverted fantasies of ultraviolence every once in a while.

12:41You can also cause a loose brick to fall from an archway just as Lord British is walking under it

12:45and kill him that way.

12:47And I have no idea how anyone figured that out.

12:50Of course, the game is essentially unwinnable at this point,

12:53so I just settle for trapping Chuckles in a circle of black powder kegs

12:56and painting the walls with his fucking gore.

12:58You're not supposed to, but it's still a great game that rewards you for exploration

13:02and gives you an outlet to venture frustrations.

13:05Like, fuck you, Chuckles!

13:06By this point, your character is basically death incarnate

13:09and the game is absurdly easy since no force in Britannia can stand before you

13:13and your sword drinks the souls of the guilty and innocent alike.

13:16Well, except for the four villains in the last battle,

13:19because I guess even the demon of the black sword has a sense of fair play.

13:22Oh, and just in case you were thinking you could use the black sword to kill Batlin,

13:26since he's obviously the chief villain Scientologist,

13:29the black sword says no because it doesn't really want to.

13:33So I can kill Lord British and make the game unwinnable,

13:35but killing the villain, which is logical, I can't.

13:38Aw, jeez, cute.

13:39Speaking of being godlike, the game still gives you the option of casting the Armageddon spell,

13:43which kills all life on the planet except for Lord British and Batlin for some reason.

13:47I just don't get this.

13:49Why would it give you this option?

13:51It's like the game is deliberately handing you the history eraser button

13:54and then telling you very nicely not to push it.

13:56So of course you do it!

13:58Why in the hell would another wizard sell you the Armageddon spell?

14:01Why would you sell a deranged religious nutjob the Armageddon spell?

14:06It's not worth the money if you never get to spend it!

14:08There's a lot of weird stuff in this game, too.

14:11I mean, whacked out loads of Easter eggs.

14:13If you go to Serpent's Hold, you'll find that every character there

14:16is the crew of Star Trek The Next Generation.

14:18The second best weapon in the game is a gardening tool called the Hoe of Destruction.

14:24The Hoe of Destruction.

14:26I am dead serious.

14:28Hey, don't underestimate the lethality of garden tools.

14:31You remember that pitchfork that nailed the gargoyle to the wall?

14:34I call that one the Pitchfork of Annihilation.

14:36But the Hoe of Destruction story?

14:38It gets better!

14:40You find the magic hoe in the toolshed of a guy

14:42who lives near the crash site of a Kilrathi starfighter from Wing Commander.

14:46I am so not even kidding about this!

14:49This guy tells you all about the crash,

14:51mentions the Kilrathi by name,

14:53implying that not only the Wing Commander and Ultima series exist in the same continuity,

14:57but this must mean the Kilrathi are actually the dudes in the TIE fighters

15:00you were shooting down to become a space ace in Ultima I!

15:03I know, right? I just blew my own mind!

15:07And no, you can't just hop in the starship and fly around,

15:10although that would pretty much make this game the most awesome thing ever.

15:14There's also loads of nudity and sex in this game.

15:17It's weird. You never used to see this in games.

15:20Not only is there a bizarre nudist colony living inside a cave of giant bees,

15:24didn't I start off this review by saying how much more mature and sensible this game was than Ultima I?

15:31Huh.

15:32So anyway, yeah, there's a family of nudists, and they live inside a cave of giant bees.

15:36One place I'd think you really wouldn't want to be a nudist,

15:39but aside from that, you can go to Buccaneer's Den and nail dirty pirate hookers on Hoar Island,

15:44and just in case your hardtack's buttered on the other side,

15:47you can actually go to the brothel and have the male pirate prostitute Roberto polish her mizzenmast.

15:52I'm not sure how prostitution fits in with the eight virtues, but this has to be a landmark in gaming.

15:57Being able to play an openly gay character in an RPG? It's something, anyway.

16:01There's also a flying carpet hidden in the mountains. Best way to travel in the game.

16:06And I know it seems like nitpicking, especially after mentioning the Kilrathi starfighter,

16:10but it always makes me laugh that the flying carpet comes equipped with eight bucket seats.

16:14I can show you the world

16:18Shining, shimmering, splendid

16:22I really liked this game back in the day, but it definitely helped that I bought the strategy guide,

16:26because otherwise I would have never figured out what the hell I'm supposed to do.

16:30The quests are so complex, it's easy to lose track of what you're doing and who you're doing it for,

16:34and there's no journal feature to remind you if you ever take a break and forget.

16:38Each step in the process is littered with a dozen more sub-steps and favors you have to perform for everyone you meet.

16:43For example, the Guardian has set up these magic generator devices around the world

16:47to disrupt the aether, screw up the moon gates, and brainwash the weak-minded.

16:51But to destroy them, you first need to contact the Time Lord. No, not that one.

16:55Let's just take this one step as an example. You have to contact the Time Lord

16:59so he can tell you how to destroy the generators, but you don't know where he is.

17:03First you have to play the game with Chuckles, who tells you to talk to a fortune teller.

17:07The fortune teller tells you to ask the Wisps, who are extra-dimensional beings who know where the Time Lord is.

17:11You ask the Wisps because they only communicate with a woodland race of Ewoks known as the Emps.

17:15But the Ewoks won't talk to you until you give them honey, which is their favorite food.

17:18And the only way you can get honey is to go to the cave of giant bees past the nudist colony.

17:21To get past the bees, you need smoke bombs from a local hunter.

17:24You use the smoke bombs to get the honey, you give the honey to the Ewoks,

17:26but they still won't help you contact the Wisps until you get permission from their leader.

17:29And their leader won't give you permission until you convince a nearby group of loggers to stop cutting down the silverleaf trees.

17:33So you stop the loggers, the Emps give you a whistle to talk to the Wisps.

17:36So you find the Wisps, blow the whistle, and talk to the Wisps,

17:38but the Ewoks won't tell you where the Time Lord is for free.

17:40You have to trade him a notebook of a famous Britannian sage named Alagner.

17:43Alagner won't give you his notebook until you can tell him the answer to life, the universe, and everything,

17:46which you can only find out from a guy named Cain and Skyra Bray.

17:49But Skyra Bray was wiped out by a lich and is also turned into a land of the walking dead.

17:52So to talk to anyone who's dead, you need the seance spell.

17:54The island is also conveniently surrounded by giant white monoliths of rock,

17:57and there's no place to land your carpet.

17:59So you have to go on foot and pay the undead ferryman.

18:01Only a ghost named Cain knows the answer to your question,

18:03but he won't talk to you until you destroy the lich.

18:05The only way to destroy the lich is to imprison it in a magic cage and dump a special magic potion on it.

18:08But to get the cage, you need to convince the ghostly blacksmith to finish making it.

18:11To do that, you need to find his wife's ring.

18:13She only gives you the ring when you play her music box.

18:15When you give the smith the ring, he agrees to make the cage, but first he needs an iron rod.

18:18So you give him a rod, he gives you the cage, but now you have to enchant it.

18:21To enchant the cage, you need to make a special alchemy potion.

18:23Put the lich in the magic cage, dump the magic potion on him, and kill the lich.

18:26But then you need to find someone willing to sacrifice themselves to destroy the lich as well as souls,

18:29forcing him to talk to everyone on the island.

18:32You tell Lagner this, who says you can have his notebook.

18:34Actually, he says you can have the key to his warehouse, which has the notebook in it,

18:36which of course is a labyrinth full of bullshit teleporters and secret doors.

18:39You find the notebook, give it to the wisp, who tells you to reach the time lord,

18:41you have to drop your orb of the moons one step to the northwest,

18:43but you don't have an orb of the moons, so you have to talk to Lord Bridges who gives you a spare.

19:01Das war eine Runde!

19:03Eigentlich war das eine halbe Runde, weil ich gar nicht darüber gesprochen habe,

19:06wie man den Zeitlord von seinem Gefängnis befreien kann.

19:08Das ist die zweite Runde, und ich würde es erklären, aber...

19:11Ich fühle mich nicht gut.

19:14Der Zeitlord erklärt, dass die Schwarze Gürtel

19:16von einem großen celestialen Verbindung aller Planeten verbunden ist,

19:18und die Zeit ist kurz.

19:20Obwohl das alles nur Orbital Wobble sein könnte.

19:22Aber um eine lange Geschichte zu machen,

19:24etwas weniger lange,

19:26du bremst die Generatoren auf,

19:28findest heraus, wo die Schwarze Gürtel ist,

19:30und sie befinden sich in der Stärkung des Königreichs,

19:32die von den Gefängnissen der Gürtel vorbereitet worden ist,

19:34um so gläubig wie möglich zu sein.

19:36Um ihren König zu begrüßen,

19:38haben sie sogar einen riesigen Thron gebaut,

19:40in einer überraschend kleinen Räume,

19:42die fast nicht groß genug ist,

19:44mit menschlichen Dörfern

19:46und einer blanken Steinwand

19:48und ein paar schwarzen Fenstern.

19:50Was für eine Räume ist das?

19:52Eine Räume für Eier?

19:54Wie soll ich rein kommen?

19:56Ich brauche Räume für die Beine, Leute!

19:58Ich bin vielleicht ein dunkler Gott der Verzweiflung und Dominanz,

20:00aber sogar ich brauche ein kleines Lumbarsupport.

20:02Es ist wert zu erwähnen,

20:04dass dein Partner-AI nicht allzu gut ist,

20:06weil sie so fest in Formationen bleiben,

20:08dass sie oft direkt in Todesfange blödern.

20:10Aber du bist bislang fast unbeschädigt,

20:12also musst du nur zur letzten Begegnung fliehen

20:14und einfach alles töten, was deinen Weg blockiert.

20:16Wenn du endlich mit der Schwarzen Gürtel

20:18in die Kammer kommst,

20:20schlägt Battlin-6-Captain Hook auf dich,

20:22der mich mit seinem oh-so-tödlichen Schwert attackiert.

20:24Wenn du ihn tötest,

20:26schlägt er dich aus,

20:28um dich allein zu lassen,

20:30um die Schwarze Gürtel zu zerstören.

20:32Nein, das kannst du nicht tun!

20:34Ich muss nicht!

20:36Verdammt, du Lichter!

20:38Verdammt!

20:40Verdammt, du Lichter!

20:42Verdammt, du Lichter!

20:44Lichter!

20:46Denkst du, du hast gewonnen?

20:48Denk noch einmal!

20:50Deine Hälfte,

20:52deine Uni Erde,

20:54hat dein Glaube

20:56Geschäftgypt und

21:02jeden anderes.

21:04Du musst dich verschwinden!

21:06Wer sie ist,

21:08ich bin sie nicht mehr!

21:10Die Stunde liegt viel zu kurz!

21:12Was soll das�

21:14Es PACT!

21:16Stoppt mit den gefährlichen Plans

21:18Wenn ich weiß, wer sie sind...

21:20stelltcalippe

21:22Ich rufe auf die Macht der Götter!

21:33Was willst du, mein Meister?

21:36Der helle Aligner kommt.

21:39Vorbereite ein neues schwarzes Zettel.

21:42Dein Weltraum wird eine gute Ergänzung zu meinem Dominion sein.

21:47Aber was, wenn Hokogen...

21:49...oder der Spoony versucht, uns zu stoppen?

22:49Abonniert den Kanal!

Ultima 7 The Black Gate by Noah Antwiler | The Spoony Experiment

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