Dad Space part 1
Watch as I play the original Dead Space.
Transcript
00:00Yeah, this is Dead Space, so I played a little bit of it and I was like, man, I cannot play
00:11this thing without sharing it, you know, because, you know, I got a little frightened.
00:22This is the original Dead Space, this is not the remake, and obviously you'll, if you know
00:31the difference, you'll see the difference, but I didn't improve this in any way.
00:38I may piss my pants and put on a few cheats later if it gets too hairy, I just want to
00:47go through this game and the story, you know, I don't like fake physical challenges, you
00:58know, like with, you know, I have arthritis, I have neuropathy, you know, I'm just casually
01:06playing this game, so don't give me too much of a hard time about that.
01:14I just want to play the game, and I hope to be a lot of exposition at the beginning, aside
01:26from this stupid loading screen, like, you know, it's an old game, they had these loading
01:39screens all the time, and they were too long, it was stupid. Oh great, it's an electronic arts game,
01:47I made a deal with the devil now. Status update! Cry Mary Isaac engineering and ship system
02:07special. See, I don't picture Isaac as life. No you don't.
02:38How many times you watch that thing? Guess you really miss her. Don't worry, we're almost there.
02:46You'll be able to look her up once we're on board. Sounds like you two have a lot of catching up to do.
02:51Alright everyone, we're here. Sinking our orbit now. All this trouble over that chunk of rock.
02:58Deep space mining is a lucrative business, Ms. Daniels. Each of seven is a gold mine, according
03:05to Prospector's reports. Cobalt, silicon, osmium. Now, where is she? There she is. We have visual contact.
03:18So that's Ishimura. Impressive. The USG Ishimura. Biggest planet cracker in her class.
03:26And it looks like they already popped the cork. Why is it all dark? I don't see any running lights.
03:32Cobalt, take us in closer and hail them. And stay clear of that debris field. We're here to fix their ship,
03:37not the other way around. All stuff they would be doing anyway. I mean, why do they have to announce it?
03:46They're like announcing it to the player. Guess we know. Boost the signal. More. Yeah, boost it up.
03:58Never heard of a total communications blackout on one of these things. You'd think with a thousand people on board,
04:03someone would pick up the phone. Tell me something I don't know. You know, I'm coming in pretty much blind.
04:13It's a busted array like we thought. Sounds like they're having problems with their encoder.
04:17You get us down there and Isaac and I can fix it. 48 hours max.
04:22All right, you have the lady. Take us in. Let's see what needs fixing. Gravity tethers engaged.
04:27Automatic docking procedures a go. What the hell? Sir, the auto docking. What is it?
04:35Every fucking time the helicopter goes down. They're in any sort of flying contraption.
04:46It will go down. It will crash and burn.
05:01Video games cannot fly. They cannot fly or drive. Is everyone OK?
05:08What the hell were you thinking? Were you trying to get us killed?
05:13I just saved our asses, Ms. Daniels. If we had aborted at that speed and distance,
05:17we'd have smashed right into the side of the Ishimura. Now settle down. Let's get to work.
05:21Corporal, report. I'm not getting any readings from the port booster, and we've lost comms and autopilots.
05:28I mean, are these professionals? Do they do this all the time?
05:36Hold still, Isaac. I'm syncing up everyone's rig with the ship.
05:41OK, we're done. Clean bill of health for everyone.
05:43Well, that's pretty neat.
05:44All right. We've still got a job to do. We're moving out.
05:51Look at these. This group of hoodlums.
05:57You know, I don't want to give away this, but it's pretty, pretty, you know, ironic.
06:04Oh.
06:08OK, objective added.
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:20Well.
06:24That went. Your other left.
06:28You didn't lose power to the port booster. You lost the port booster.
06:32Unbelievable.
06:38I mean, you know, it's not being so hard on the guy.
06:43You know, he like at least we're alive.
06:48Any landing in a video game where you come out alive being great.
06:53The power's down everywhere.
06:55Isaac, get over here and hack the door. Go ahead.
06:59Oh, me. It's on me. The tech guy.
07:03You know, I understand this.
07:09Open the door. Yes, the tech guy with no weapons.
07:14You know.
07:19Yeah, if I can figure. What is this? A soda machine?
07:24I mean, they used to have to see if you're too young to remember these.
07:28They used to have those kind of soda machines where you could actually like see the sodas in there that they had.
07:41Oh, I did a thing. I opened a door.
07:49I swear there was money in there.
07:54OK, you know, these things are flashing.
07:57You know, I first saw this and I was like shiny.
08:13I'm going to pretend I don't know what happens next.
08:18That security console is still alive.
08:21Isaac, log in and see what you can find.
08:23Oh, yeah. Send the tech guy.
08:26The power's dead. I can't.
08:28They'll reboot the damn power.
08:32Um, you know, I remember coming up to this door last time trying to jiggle it and like some shit happened.
08:42Yeah, yeah, like that.
08:44To find your next objective.
08:47Oh, that's fine.
08:49Um, I know my next objective.
08:52I only played for like a few minutes.
08:57OK.
08:59Yes, we know.
09:01This ship is all messed up.
09:03It's taking a lot of damage.
09:05Yes.
09:07We can see that from the exterior.
09:10Oh, it's locked.
09:14Oh, shit.
09:16What the hell was that?
09:17Something is happening.
09:18Automatic quarantine must have tripped when the filtration system restarted.
09:21Everybody relax.
09:24What was that? Did you...
09:25I'm not sure.
09:27What the hell?
09:29I don't know. Something just erupted.
09:30Oh, my God.
09:32Jesus! Overpower! Overpower!
09:34Those things are nasty.
09:36Power!
09:38Come on.
09:40Got it!
09:42Isaac, get the hell out of there!
09:43The door's unlocked! Run!
09:46OK.
09:54Run, Isaac! Get the hell out of there!
09:56Get the hell out of there!
10:07I'm gonna die before it gets started.
10:17Whoo!
10:21I just...
10:30That's absolutely terrifying!
10:40Oh, my God. What did I get myself into?
10:47I'm just a tech guy.
10:51Um, uh-oh.
10:55Um...
10:57I mean, they could be coming at any time.
11:01Like that.
11:03I can... I can... Can I...
11:05Is that him?
11:07Is he making that stupid noise?
11:11Oh, what... What is that?
11:16I'm cut off their limb.
11:19Oh, we finally get some piece of shit to use as weapon.
11:25You know, I'm pretty good at improvised weapons. Let's see.
11:29I think I'm going to fuck this up royally.
11:34Oh, now I have a punch option and a foot stop.
11:39Thank you!
11:41Because before, I couldn't fight at all.
11:46Oh, Jesus!
11:48They're trying to get in trouble!
11:50I'm trying to get health.
11:52I'm trying... No, wait!
11:54They're trying to attack the store!
11:56Fire at the key!!
11:58I'm trying to get this store some health!
12:00Fire at the key!!
12:02You can't try and...
12:04Ooh...
12:06Shiny! You see, I knew...
12:09I knew there was something with these stupid boxes.
12:12You don't flash a box and put a light on a box in a video game and not have something cool in it.
12:27It's just not done.
12:29Oh my god, I lost a quarter of my health in that.
12:34Thank you developers for making me a helpless lamb.
12:42Okay, you can scream all you want, but I have no idea how to get in that door.
13:09And I sort of think you're dead already.
13:13And this guy, this guy, this guy.
13:18I can deal with one dead guy.
13:22Is there like a toilet over here?
13:30Oh well, that's not helping at all.
13:34Those boxes.
13:37Why, why would you do this?
13:43Developer.
13:46I'm looking at you, DEA.
13:56I, I, I don't want help.
14:06You know, I have a feeling I've used up too much ammo.
14:37I gotta figure out how to get through that door.
14:58So.
15:06Okay.
15:28Brute force seems to work.
15:47Oh.
15:50My beating heart.
15:54I mean.
16:02That's that easy mode.
16:06Oh my god.
16:09Is he?
16:14That is, that is a rather odd sexual position.
16:20I, I don't know if you can even find that in the Kama Sutra.
16:28Um.
16:30How exactly did I kill him though?
16:38Oh, that's so cool, that thing on his chest.
16:43I can't believe this game is as old as it is.
16:47You know, did they really have, have this kind of graphics back then?
16:53It's at least a ten year old game.
16:59Um.
17:01Yeah.
17:03I guess we go forward.
17:05This is kind of linear, so.
17:08I didn't mean to.
17:18Okay.
17:24Oh, shit.
17:29Um.
17:48Okay.
17:57I'm, I'm just a tech.
17:59What the fuck am I?
18:01You know, I, I guess, I guess it just, it did, I, I was coming to fix the ship.
18:08And, and like.
18:11You know, some shit happened.
18:14Um.
18:15I guess they didn't tell us that there were like monsters on this fucking thing.
18:20What have they been doing?
18:24Ah, deal with this shit.
18:40Who the fuck are you?
18:42Everybody got killed in that room.
18:48No.
18:49No, I'm, I'm forever traumatized.
18:58No, they're not trapped.
19:00I've lost a fourth of my health.
19:03I'm just a tech.
19:12You'll get us out of here alive.
19:14I'll be surprised.
19:19How did he get you?
19:21I just saw you die.
19:32I'm just a tech.
19:35You fix the tram.
19:36And I'll help you find Nicole.
19:39God damn it.
19:46I mean, at least Mars got marines.
19:50You know, like, like what the fuck?
19:52I've got a plasma cutter.
19:55A makeshift fucking weapon.
20:00Oh, okay.
20:05Okay.
20:19Okay, it just kind of like works like it doesn't do.
20:34Okay.
20:41Okay.
20:58We're late for that.
21:05Okay, now how do I...
21:12I mean, that thing is messed up.
21:18Oh, I'm supposed to stand right here and...
21:27Let's reload this first.
21:34Okay.
22:05Okay.
22:23Oh, come on. Come on.
22:25Come on.
22:35Come on.
22:41I mean, are they...
22:44Are the developers ribbing me for taking such a long time?
22:56Okay.
23:04Okay.
23:34I don't know what it wants me to do.
24:04Okay.
24:34Okay.
25:04Okay.
25:23I'm not sure what you want me to do, game.
25:34Okay.
26:04Okay.
26:34Okay.
26:43Okay, so...
26:47I'm not timing it correctly.
26:52Obviously, this explains a little more...
26:58...in the remake.
27:05Okay.
27:18Okay.
27:35Okay.
27:37The better. I can hear something crawling around out there.
27:43Of course you can. It's all you, Psychic Plastic.
28:03What's that?
28:04No!
28:13Money!
28:22I'll pick that up. I don't know what that's for, but it looks important.
28:30Isaac would know what that's for.
28:35Or not.
28:39Holy shit!
28:54Don't do that.
29:04No!
29:22Okay.
29:25Just had to go over here.
29:28Okay.
29:33Get a little recharge.
29:36Never know what's gonna happen next.
29:40I mean, unless you're Plastic.
29:51Yeah, I'm gonna save it here.
29:54That's what this save button is for.
29:58Okay.
30:08The bathroom.
30:11Can't get in the cargo hold.
30:14I bet there's stuff to loot in there.
30:28Okay.
30:47Finally.
30:58Okay.
31:20Okay.
31:22I mean...
31:25Isaac, you still need to find the data board to the tram computer. It's in the maintenance bay.
31:32A thousand credits.
31:35Seems...seems not enough to pay for therapy.
31:41Kinda like pay for one therapy session.
31:44And they expect me to pay for things in this game.
31:55Come on! You know...
31:58I'm getting tired of you bodies glittering the floor.
32:02I mean, like, I didn't kill you, so...
32:10Did that just happen?
32:15Am I hallucinating on some magic brownies?
32:19Some space brownies?
32:25Okay.
32:45I mean, I-I don't know what to fuck to do.
32:48Yes! Yes, that is where we've seen it.
32:52See, this guy...
32:54He keeps...fucking...
32:59Going around...
33:03You know.
33:11Okay.
33:15I have to go to the data board.
33:19These things do open.
33:28Can I have a can of soda?
33:33I think...
33:35Taste...
33:39The sun.
33:41Yes! These are sodas!
33:43Those...those are pull tabs.
33:46I distinctly remember pull tabs.
33:49And they used to be a lot more dangerous than they are.
33:52Because they used to just be...
33:54Instead of pushing...
33:56You know, kind of a...
33:58You know...
34:00Pushing it in, you had to pull it off.
34:02And it was razor sharp.
34:04And they gave these to children!
34:10All the time.
34:12Before, you know, they put...
34:14You know, I had pull tabs.
34:16I pulled them out.
34:18Put them immediately in my mouth.
34:24You know, whenever I was young.
34:32I don't think it's this way.
34:34I think I...
34:36I literally have to go down that elevator.
34:39I have been...
34:41You know.
34:45I have been traumatized for life by elevators now.
34:55You know, like I said.
34:57The money in this game is not going to be...
34:59Enough to pay for...
35:01The uh...
35:03The therapy.
35:06I don't think I'm going to live through this.
35:10Even though it's a video game.
35:12And they have an ending.
35:14I don't think I'm going to make that.
35:19This is scary.
35:36Uh...
35:38Oh, I'm just...
35:40I'm just resting my hands.
35:42Rolling a cigarette.
35:45Sorry.
35:48Just give me a second.
36:01Okay.
36:04It's Kendra.
36:06It looks like the door to the storage room is locked.
36:08There should be a key somewhere in the maintenance bay.
36:13Go get the key.
36:15Get this, get that.
36:17Fetch.
36:33Get that, get that!
37:03Okay.
37:26Okay, well, I guess I forgot how to...
37:29Oh, that's a flammable.
37:33Okay.
37:38Get that, get that!
37:49Get that, get that!
38:04Well, you can't use a plasma cutter all the time.
38:08It's not what it's for.
38:27Um, okay.
38:33Okay.
38:51Ooh, shiny!
39:03Okay.
39:22Okay.
39:24There's something in here with me.
39:27I advise you to fuck off!
39:33Okay.
40:03Okay.
40:14Okay.
40:16The music is still going on, so...
40:22If you listen closely,
40:25you'll hear some idiot climbing around.
40:33Okay.
40:44Um, this looks suspiciously like another elevator.
40:53Now, I've never had an elevator phobia before.
41:03But now...
41:12Eden's coming!
41:14Okay.
41:32See? I knew there was others.
41:38Come on, I've had about enough of you!
41:45God, do the physics...
41:48Really?
41:50I mean...
41:53There you go.
41:57Just tidy this up here real quick.
42:04Get off of there.
42:06Come on.
42:07Come on down there.
42:15Yeah.
42:16Suck it.
42:19I'm just...
42:23a tech.
42:32I found it.
42:44Okay.
43:02Please!
43:14Ah!
43:18What?!
43:29I just cleaned this thing off!
43:32How dare you!
43:40Messing up my...
43:42my walkway way like that?
43:46How dare you!
43:49You too! Get the hell off!
43:55Ooh, shiny!
44:04I wonder if kicking it does it just as well.
44:09Why didn't I see any of this shit on the way in?
44:19Here we go again.
44:21On the elevator of doom!
44:39Wow!
44:51Just waste all my bolts.
45:04As I'm supposed to.
45:08You get the hell off!
45:20Sorry, gotta tidy up the place a little bit.
45:38Okay.
46:08What?
46:15Another...
46:17ominous locked door.
46:39Okay.
46:50And what is that? Oh, that's a lamp.
46:55Okay.
47:07Okay, I got a couple.
47:24Okay.
47:34Damage and capacity.
47:48Is there a save around here somewhere?
47:54Nope.
47:59That's it, Isaac. Take the board back to tram control and slot it into the computer array.
48:04That should get the tram system back online.
48:25Okay.
48:44Oh, they're definitely in here with me.
48:49Get out of here!
48:56Forget about it.
49:08Unlike Doom, you literally have to...
49:18Let's see how much this costs.
49:24Okay, I need to use a medium med pack.
49:29There we go.
49:31All topped up.
49:38Messy catwalks.
49:42I'm gonna complain to the company about health conditions.
49:58Uh, yeah.
50:12Yeah, I knew I had to go someplace else.
50:32Yeah, that's what I get for fucking around!
50:41Okay.
51:12Okay.
51:18I knew it!
51:20There's more than one here, isn't there?
51:42Okay.
51:45That's it for me. It's lunchtime.
51:57Thank you for everyone who's viewed this video.