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FunTranscript
00:00The following footage is based on a true story.
00:02Any similarity to actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
00:30Bilibic Cat is not an ordinary animal.
00:36Bilibic Cat starts meowing.
00:39Bilibic Cat asks his friends for the grey one.
00:43The young cat fur.
00:57Oh no, here come the space bag rats!
00:59We are lost, I tell you, lost!
01:02Be quiet, Sir Hubert. It's just a movie.
01:10And don't let me see you again!
01:19I'm afraid you didn't quite understand the movie, Sir Hubert.
01:22You don't like it when the audience is playing along.
01:25Ah, I get it. The live theater is such an infinitely superior form of entertainment.
01:29On the boards that mean the world, there is still real sweat.
01:32Forget about the cheap effects of cinematography.
01:35If you want to see real acting talent, Bilibic Cat,
01:38you only need to focus your eyes on my insignificance.
01:41My representation of Captain Meow in The Alien Legion
01:44was so outstanding that Queen Victoria personally
01:48gave me the order of the golden can opener.
01:51Wow!
01:52And this was followed by my triumphant playtime
01:55at the Kabuki Wander Ensemble.
01:57Wow, Sir Hubert! Does that mean you can speak Japanese?
02:00Japanese?
02:01Uh...
02:02Help!
02:05Somebody get me out of here!
02:16Help!
02:20Please, help me, guys!
02:23Open the cage door, please!
02:27Wait, how are we going to get you out of there?
02:31If I still had fingers, I could free you by twisting my hand.
02:36I used to be a boy, you know, a human being.
02:44Great, that can last forever.
02:46But we don't have much time!
02:47They'll only be gone for a moment, eating a hamburger!
02:49Come on, if we can only get rid of the strange creature,
02:52we could take our time.
02:54Come on, Sir Hubert, I have an idea.
02:58Don't get off the brakes until I tell you, okay?
03:01Are you really sure that nothing can go wrong, Billy?
03:04Of course, my father always let me drive his car.
03:16The Grand Prix is mine!
03:18They're coming!
03:20Then get off the brakes!
03:33I guess this thing doesn't have a servo.
03:35Come back!
03:38Get away from the cage door!
03:42Those teeth! Is that a dog or a saw?
03:48Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
03:52Could you please get off the brakes again?
03:59Holy banana!
04:00Stop, people!
04:07No!
04:10No!
04:17My beautiful load!
04:19You miserable fool, you've got my load in your shovel!
04:23Yeah, so what?
04:24Just get rid of it!
04:26Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
04:29Good, no problem, buddy. Get down with it.
04:33Wow!
04:37Someone will pay for this, my beautiful load!
04:43Actually, he should be grateful to us.
04:45Now he always finds a parking space.
04:51Jocko is free!
04:52Oh no, the professor is getting an attack!
04:57Get away from the ball!
05:02Go!
05:12Wow! Wow! Wow!
05:19Wow!
05:26If that fiend gets our saw teeth, we're done for!
05:32Tiger!
05:35That sounds good!
05:45And what now?
05:47Let's go into the tent! Come!
05:49I'll hold you to my tail, and you'll hold on to his!
06:15You seem to know your way around in the circus!
06:18Jocko, little one! Simply Jocko!
06:21Yes, me and my sister Jackie are at the circus.
06:24Well, that means we'll wait until this girl...
06:27What did you say about the interruption?
06:36Come on, boys, let's go!
06:38Let's go!
06:46Are we already there?
06:50If only I hadn't been persuaded by you to go to the cinema this morning!
06:59Finally in safety!
07:02This bait has to disappear!
07:04Let's see if the string is right!
07:20An excellent flyer for such a big, ugly dog!
07:31Ice-man, flee!
08:01What a show!
08:10Your friend GroĂmayr is a really nice guy!
08:13His bananas taste better than those in the circus!
08:17No one should ever say that a guest from Zur Hubert ate something worse than the best!
08:23You wanted to tell us what happened to your sister Jackie, didn't you?
08:26Everything was going great just now.
08:28We had worked up to the stars of the evening, right after the ballet dancing hyenas.
08:32We had exchanged the high-pitched act for a magic number.
08:39And just now we received a telegram,
08:41inviting us to open the performance of the Albanian Singing People's Orchestra in Las Vegas.
08:47Then, one evening last week, when I was drinking a coke with my friends,
08:51this fat bastard Jackie had kidnapped me!
08:57Our Werther had spoiled the whole thing!
09:01How did you know it was Igo?
09:06Because he kidnapped me last night!
09:09And when she dragged me into the cages,
09:12I discovered a crack in Jackie's purple pyjama!
09:15Oh, we have to find Jackie and free her!
09:17Absolutely! But how?
09:19I think I have an idea!
09:26Hey, what do you think of bullying me, little friend?
09:29I am a law-abiding citizen!
09:31Just as I thought!
09:33Do you really think you can push people around wearing a mask?
09:36I am a law-abiding citizen!
09:39Do you really think you can push people around wearing a mask?
09:42He's supposed to tow his load!
09:44All right, all right, I'll tow him! I'll tow him!
09:48Jackie, we're on our way!
10:10Oh, look at that!
10:18Uh, guys?
10:19Maybe we should just let it go through our heads again?
10:22Come on, let's get out of sight!
10:40Huh?
10:43Huh?
10:44Let's wait a moment until they're all gone!
10:48So, so, so, so, what do we have here?
10:51Igor!
10:52Yes, master?
10:53Get some chains and ice cream for our little honored guests!
10:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:07If this isn't the lecherous Jocko himself, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:13I'm sure Jackie will be very happy that you're her companion.
11:17Attack, friends!
11:30Get rid of one of these creatures!
11:34Of whom? I'm about to have another one on my neck!
11:50Wow, that's just a mask!
11:55Hello, old friend!
11:56Help!
11:58Igor, stop the chimpanzee!
12:14Great, great! You've just come at the right time for your big moment.
12:19Jocko, my friend.
12:21What are we going to do with these abominable cats, Professor Solotov?
12:26Let's see what true scientific greatness can do.
12:30And then, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
12:33you can help us with our experiments.
12:43When I met you, I was just about to sign my application to the Emperor of Moon Chimpanzees.
12:48I had to get my costume on, you see.
12:50The moon chimpanzees are incredibly rugged and malicious enemies.
12:54and you are not allowed to show them any weakness.
13:07Greetings, Lord of the Moon Chimpanzees.
13:10I, Generalissimo Zolotov,
13:12send you this message from Jocko and Jackie
13:16with my express warning.
13:18The plan is working.
13:19When the Moon Chimpanzees see
13:21that the leader of the Earth's forces...
13:24...is acting impressive and arrogant,
13:27they will clamp their tails.
13:30Bravo, Master Bravo!
13:32You are simply brilliant!
13:34These Moon Chimpanzees do anything for bananas.
13:36They are unscrupulous,
13:37if you consider that our own government
13:39called me a mental hospital when I wanted to warn them.
13:43What is he talking about, my boy?
13:45They don't want to know.
13:48All systems have been released from the launch center.
13:52That means green light
13:53for the launch of the Mars rocket tonight.
14:01Just send your pathetic rockets to Mars
14:03if you think you can do it without me.
14:06Zolotov can build rockets,
14:08but yours look ridiculous.
14:18Wow, a real spaceship!
14:30You are a happy chimpanzee, Jocko.
14:33In exactly 15 minutes,
14:34you and Jackie will conquer a place
14:36in the history books.
14:42It's time to put on your space suits.
14:47No!
15:00I have to say, it's about time.
15:02You are a nice brother
15:03who just lets these fools kidnap me.
15:05I'm not your brother.
15:07I've always told you
15:08you should celebrate this useless sleeping hat.
15:11Shut up, Jackie!
15:14Shit!
15:15Why didn't I become a detachment artist?
15:18If only I had a hairpin.
15:20You mean this one?
15:24Yeah.
15:26They always manage to do that in the movies.
15:35We have to hurry.
15:36They will follow us every second.
15:45They don't seem to have noticed we're gone.
15:50What did you say?
15:51I said, get out of here!
16:03You lucky mushrooms!
16:05Now I'll send you to Mars
16:07without your space suits!
16:14Run!
16:28You miserable creatures!
16:30You're ruining our launch!
16:33No!
16:41No!
16:42Watch out, you fool!
16:44No, no!
16:45That's the emergency launch lever!
16:49The emergency what?
16:51No, you fool!
16:53You started it!
17:03No!
17:33No!
18:03No!
18:19Wow!
18:20Cool!
18:21Very nice!
18:23Awesome!
18:25Hey, guys!
18:27Didn't you notice Jackie's gone?
18:30Oh no!
18:31Choco, if you don't save me,
18:33you ate your favorite fried banana
18:35for the very last time!
18:37And I'll tell our teacher about it!
18:40What do you think of that?
18:42How are we supposed to find each other again?
18:45That professor was really keen
18:47to send you both to Mars.
18:49And now that his rocket is gone...
19:02The Space Center
19:13This is the express bus to the Space Center, my friend.
19:17You have to take the number 9
19:19if you want to go to the opera.
19:23Very nice, but don't blame me
19:25if you miss your flying Dutchman.
19:29Dear God!
19:30If I were you,
19:31I'd try it with a toothpaste.
19:47Jackie!
19:52Listen, if you can't express yourself properly,
19:55stay at home!
19:57I'm not a translator!
20:05That's it!
20:06Now fly away, buddy!
20:28Uh-oh!
20:29Go, go, go, Choco!
20:30They're taking off at any moment!
20:33Hey!
20:57To be continued
21:28Ah!
21:29Trustworthy droids!
21:31Hold on, Jackie!
21:32I'm coming!
21:43Now we just need the flight route
21:45to program from Mars to the Moon.
21:48And order these moon chimpanzees
21:50they'll never get a peanut in their face!
21:53Before aliens take over,
21:55we'd rather throw our overproduction
21:57into the ocean.
21:59Let Jackie go!
22:09Ten!
22:10Nine!
22:11What do you mean by nine, Master?
22:14The countdown has begun!
22:17What?
22:18What's going on, Billy?
22:20No, Master!
22:21Please don't!
22:22I don't want to fly to the Moon!
22:24I have to do something!
22:29And here we have the rocket launch lever.
22:32With this, you can, if you want,
22:34turn the automatic control off.
22:37Well then,
22:38let's set the mill on fire!
22:54To be continued
23:00Even something as pathetic as a dog
23:02can make you feel sorry sometimes.
23:04Not so sorry, of course!
23:13Well, Billy,
23:14now we can sleep peacefully on our cushions
23:17knowing for sure
23:19that our friends will find themselves
23:21in the privacy of the circus
23:23when they're all lost.
23:24Ah, the infinite infinity of space!
23:27Cold, lonely, endless.
23:29I remember when I was a ship cat
23:31with the Apollo mission to the Moon,
23:33I sat at the window for hours
23:35and grumbled.
23:36Out there, you start to ask
23:38the big philosophical questions.
23:41Why am I here?
23:43What is the origin of all being?
23:45And what do I have to do
23:47to get a cup of warm milk?
23:53To be continued