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Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire.
00:04And I am Ted Theodore Lurgen.
00:07Together, we are World Stallions.
00:11Greetings, excellent ones.
00:14That can be all you want it to be
00:17When you follow your dreams
00:20Join a team and always believe
00:23And soon your dreams will be reality
00:30Woah!
00:34Woah!
00:36Woah!
00:37It's Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures
00:40A most audacious, courageous team
00:43They'll stay together
00:46Friends forever
00:48It's Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures
00:51A most audacious, courageous team
00:54Cruising in their time
00:58Party on, dudes.
00:59Excellent!
01:13Is Wednesday not the most heinous of all school days?
01:16Assuredly so, my glum friend Ted.
01:18For Wednesdays, we must take...
01:21Gym class!
01:23But, and however, are we not the recipients of brand new jock-type footwear?
01:27Exactly.
01:28Run faster, jump higher with Pump N' Plump
01:31The original Air Insole sneaker
01:34With which we will be able to breeze through gym class.
01:42I wonder what Rufus is doing at the San Dimas Lanes?
01:45I do not know.
01:47Working on his 7-10 split?
01:49My friend, I'm renting the entire bowling alley for the day
01:52And these are the only shoes you have for me?
01:55I'll check in back for more.
01:58Greetings, gentlemen.
02:00Rufus!
02:01We didn't know our most excellent future bud was devoted to grazing the gutters.
02:05Far from it, my friends.
02:07In fact, bowling is outlawed in the future.
02:09No way!
02:11Yes way!
02:13In our harmonious society, it has been determined
02:15That no human should be forced to wear shoes this ugly in public.
02:19There's been a warp in the fabric of time, gentlemen.
02:22It's all very technical, but it means history isn't repeating itself right.
02:25And you have to help iron it out.
02:27Correctamundo.
02:29Seems there's a Yankee regiment about to miss a shipment of uniforms and supplies.
02:33And without shoes, those Yankee soldiers will lose the Civil War.
02:37The North will fall, and we'll be sucking up Harmony Grits at the Cozy Corner.
02:42Whoa, we cannot let that egregious chain of events befall our favorite curbside eatery, Ted.
02:47Rufus, we donate our most worthy gym shoes to this righteous cause.
02:52A truly excellent gesture, my friends.
02:55Hey! You can't take rented shoes out of the bowling alley!
02:59It's okay. I'll have them back right after the fall of Atlanta.
03:03You two Vanu's to school so you get good grades
03:05And go on to become the most excellent dudes I know you're going to be in the future.
03:09Sayonara!
03:18Cool!
03:25We won! Are we not Olympians?
03:29You're supposed to run over the hurdles, not through them!
03:33And you're out of uniform!
03:35But sir, we donated our sneakers to the Barefoot Soldiers Fund.
03:39Barefoot So... That does it!
03:42Logan, Preston, you're on lunchtime detention details!
03:45You will clean and polish these trophies until they shine!
03:49And be especially careful with this baseball,
03:52which was personally autographed by the most famous Yankee of all time,
03:57Babe Ruth.
03:59Now get to work!
04:03I wonder if this Yankee Babe is who Rufus is lending our sneakers to.
04:07Ted, you knucklehead, watch out!
04:10Whoa! Ted, that was most close!
04:14Bill!
04:16Ted, my friend, you have just saved us from a fate worse than push-ups.
04:21Fortunately, it is just a ball. It cannot break.
04:31Whoa! Most truly heinous!
04:33The Babe's autograph has completely taken the scrub
04:37What do we do about this most untranquil turn of events, Bill?
04:40We have to get this Babe Ruth signature back on the ball before lunch period is over, Ted.
04:46Our most corpulent gym instructor said Ruth was a famous Yankee.
04:50And Rufus is renting bowling shoes to some Yankees right now!
04:54Excellent!
05:00Aah!
05:03Aah!
05:10Hey, hey, get your shoes here!
05:13Look, it's Rufus!
05:15Act now and receive a free bonus gift.
05:18You'll get Shoo-Bee-Doo, a collection of the most famous footwear tunes of all time.
05:23Who can forget the love theme from Barefoot in the Park?
05:26These boots are made for walking.
05:28Blue suede shoes, plus Larry Starch singing Shoo-Fly Don't Bother Me.
05:34Rufus, how goes the war?
05:37It goes most excellently, gentlemen.
05:39All the Yankee soldiers now have shoes, the time warp has smoothed itself out,
05:43and I got rid of all my old albums.
05:45Can't seem to unload these eight-track tapes, though.
05:49Rufus, we have a most serious problem.
05:52A crucial Yankee signature has washed off Coach Sweatsock's favorite baseball.
05:57Some babe named Ruth.
05:59Hmm, I see your problem.
06:01But the only one around here who knows anything about baseball
06:03is a weird cat named General Abner Doubleday.
06:06Thanks most sincerely, Rufus.
06:08Catch you guys on the flip side when I come back for the bowling shoes.
06:11Shoo-Bee-Doo-Bee-Doo!
06:20I'm losing boys right and left out there, Neal.
06:23Nothing very civil about war, is there, General Army Dude?
06:27War? I'm talking about the game I invented, baseball.
06:35Get the ball!
06:38Hit the runner!
06:43Get him out!
06:46Another one out cold.
06:51Ted, this is most erroneous.
06:53Yes, I don't see this babe Ruth dudette anywhere.
06:56Perhaps these are the wrong Yankees.
07:00General Jackson's men are approaching fast, sir.
07:04Hold your fire, men.
07:06Oh, it is a game.
07:09Well, let us show those Union boys how to play.
07:12All right!
07:13I want a pig!
07:14No, I want a pig!
07:15Get back here, sucker!
07:17We're being challenged.
07:19Put these men in the game, Sergeant Spatz.
07:27Play ball!
07:35Duck, dude, duck!
07:37You're saved!
07:39Saved? He's slid!
07:41That's a terrific idea, Swidey!
07:45If I made it a diamond, we would only need four bases.
07:49That'd be a great savings in bases.
07:56I can massacre the ball with this.
08:13Way to stroke it over that stone wall, Jackson.
08:17Oh, I like that.
08:19Yes, stone wall Jackson has a real ring to it.
08:24Ted, you knucklehead, that was Coach Sweatsocks' baseball.
08:27Do not worry, Bill. I will find it.
08:30You pitch.
08:31Batter up!
08:42You're out!
08:43Out? He was saved by a mile!
08:45He was out!
08:46He was out!
08:50Ted, my friend, did you find the ball?
08:52No, Bill, my friend.
08:53Well, never mind.
08:54I think it's time to put some history between them and us.
09:02Excuse me, ma'am, but are you that most famous Yankee babe, Babe Ruth?
09:06No, I'm Harriet Tubman.
09:08Are you for the North or the South?
09:10Neither. We're for Bill and Ted.
09:13Wow, how does this up-hanging box start traveling underground?
09:17It's a phone booth, and we're not underground,
09:19but rather dealing with the oddities of time travel.
09:22I don't understand.
09:23That's okay. Neither do we.
09:25Bill, Ted, we must go back.
09:28I'm trying to get to the North with a group of my friends,
09:30and we were trapped behind that battlefield.
09:32No problemo.
09:33Greetings, Operator Babe.
09:35Can you revert the charge of that last call?
09:38Hold on to your cookies.
09:48Everyone, over here.
09:50All aboard, gang.
09:51Thank you for the offer, but we won't all fit,
09:54and we need to stick together.
09:56All right, if you're sure, but be careful.
09:59And be excellent to one another.
10:03How are we going to get past the Confederate Army, Miss Tubman?
10:06Just like my friends Bill S. Preston, Esquire,
10:10and Ted Theodore Logan, who together are wild stallions.
10:15We're going to use horses?
10:17We're going to build our own railroad.
10:19Underground!
10:22I hate this part!
10:34How's it going, peasant farmer dude?
10:36Witches? You must be Cousins of the Count!
10:42Cousins of the Count! Cousins of the Count!
10:45What did he say?
10:46He thinks we're Cousins of the Count.
10:48Count who?
10:49Who cares?
10:50Before we searched for this baseball babe any longer,
10:52I said we'd hitch to the nearest convenience mart
10:54and order industrial-sized frosty slushes and nachos.
11:08Look out!
11:09Look out!
11:15Excuse us, gnarled old fellow traveler dude,
11:17but could we trouble you for a ride to ye local cozy corner?
11:24Thanks for the lift, strange little dude.
11:30Thank you for the lift.
11:39Whoa, most triumphant!
11:41Not!
11:42Ted, we have to get our hijacked foam group back.
11:46Phil, I sense bigger problems afoot.
11:49Get them!
11:57I saw them rise from a coffin in the swamp!
12:00They surely are Cousins of the Count!
12:02To the bottom of the pond, widow!
12:04Excuse us, but just who is this Count?
12:07Count Dracula!
12:12Oh, that Count.
12:20Down with the Cousins of the Count!
12:23Ted, you and I have experienced many things,
12:26but nothing so odious as what is about to occur.
12:30Greetings, amigos.
12:32Say, listen, here's your sneakers back.
12:38Look out, Rufus!
12:40It's another of Dracula's disciples!
12:43Whoops, hate to crash and dash.
12:47A Civil War souvenir that might help break the tension.
12:52Ciao, goombas!
12:54He's gone! It's like magic!
13:00Whoa!
13:02Stop them!
13:03They're escaping!
13:04Use our sneakers, Ted.
13:08Commander Ted to Mission Control.
13:10Prepare Pulse 4.
13:12Blast off!
13:14Commander Ted to Mission Control.
13:16Prepare Pulse 4.
13:18Blast off!
13:27Where are we, Ted?
13:31You better not disturb the Count
13:33unless you want to end up like us.
13:35What did you do?
13:36I was just delivering his mail.
13:38His milk!
13:39His publisher's warehouse sweepstake
13:41with my picture on it!
13:43But the Count is most unforgiving
13:45when his slumber is disturbed.
13:49For crying out loud, Cheswick,
13:52this ringing's going to drive me cuckoo.
13:55Being a monarch isn't all it's cracked up to be.
13:59Yes, Master Dracula.
14:03I haven't slept in weeks.
14:05If it isn't a peasant uprising,
14:07it's the front doorbell.
14:09The milkman, the deliveryman,
14:12and the postman always rings twice.
14:15Or it's that neighbor kid
14:17bouncing that ball.
14:22Hey, Kareem!
14:23Can the skyhook!
14:24I'm trying to get a little shut-eye!
14:30I hate basketball.
14:35Sounds like the ringing's coming from down the hall.
14:37Sorry.
14:38Counting the sheep didn't help, Master.
14:42And I asked for a coffin
14:43so I can get the sleep of the dead.
14:45But you bring me one that's defective.
14:47Ring, ring, ring!
14:49I'm going bats, man!
15:03Ted, we have to save the phone booth.
15:05But how?
15:06They'll put us on posts
15:08and turn us into lawn jockeys.
15:13Who's there?
15:21Trespassers!
15:23What do we do now?
15:24Hope he butts.
15:28Whoa!
15:29Um, Mr. Count Dracula, sir?
15:32We're from Coffins R Us.
15:34We are?
15:35Then fix that infernal ringing
15:37before I give you a steak!
15:40You're inviting us for dinner, Bill.
15:42Uh, I like mine medium rare.
15:44And I don't know why everyone thinks
15:45you're such a bad guy, Dracula.
15:47You know, maybe cut down on the caffeine a little and...
15:51Fix the coffin!
15:56You stopped the ringing.
15:58Now get out!
16:04Mr. Dracula, sir,
16:05allow my esteemed colleague and I
16:07to demonstrate some of this phone booth...
16:09coffin's most bodacious features.
16:20Good work, Bill.
16:22But how will we get him out of the booth?
16:25Got it, dude.
16:29You really think this will work?
16:31What have we got to lose?
16:33Our blood?
16:34Do not worry. It will work.
16:36Go!
16:39Go!
16:47It worked!
16:48Come on, let's blow this mausoleum.
16:58We forgot his steak!
17:00What was that?
17:01My stomach, dude.
17:03You mentioned food and we have not yet had lunch.
17:06Then all in favor of a chow down, say aye.
17:09Aye!
17:10What are you dialing, Bill?
17:12H-O-T-D-O-G-S.
17:14Hot dogs!
17:28Ted, we're in Yankee Stadium.
17:30Just in time for the wave.
17:32This is, most sincerely, our lucky day.
17:35Not.
17:36How so not?
17:38We finally get to Yankee Stadium
17:40where there isn't a single babe
17:42playing ball on the field.
17:44True.
17:45But hot dogs are only a most inexpensive nickel.
17:55Not bad.
17:59All right, you ruffians.
18:00Let me see your ticket stubs.
18:02Uh, ticket stubs?
18:06Eddie Van Halen!
18:08World Troubler!
18:10Come with me, you gate-crashers.
18:12Let's flee this dog town.
18:22I think we dished him, dude.
18:24On deck number three, Babe Rose!
18:29Babe, we're looking for us going to bat.
18:31Come on.
18:33Bat boy, I've been in a slump.
18:35Pick me out a special stick, please.
18:43Bill, this Babe Ruth babe is a dude, dude.
18:47Do not scoff at his name, dude.
18:49He's big.
18:50This is gonna be my lucky bat.
18:53Thanks, kid.
18:54No problemo.
18:55A simple autographed baseball would be thanks enough.
18:58Oh, sorry, kid.
18:59I gotta go.
19:01How about this?
19:05And keep an eye on the center field wall.
19:07I'll put one out of the park with your names on it.
19:12That's Bill S. Preston, Esquire,
19:14and Ted Theodore Logan,
19:16together known as the gate-crashers!
19:20No!
19:21Wild studs!
19:23Wild studs!
19:25Wild studs!
19:27Wild studs!
19:29Wild studs!
19:30Whoa!
19:36Why is it no one will buy my blubber blubber?
19:44Whoa!
19:45Heads up!
19:49Oh, my back.
19:50Oh, my head.
19:51Oh, my blubber blubber.
19:53Your blubber blubber?
19:54Yes, you've ruined my entire supply.
19:57Oh, sorry, dude.
19:59It doesn't matter.
20:00No one was buying it anyway.
20:02I'm not surprised.
20:04What is it?
20:08Here, try some.
20:12Chew it.
20:16Bubble gum!
20:19Blubber blubber bubble gum.
20:21What's the difference?
20:22No one wants it.
20:25We would like some,
20:26except that we spent our last nickel on those hot dogs.
20:30How about trading some gum
20:32for this autographed picture of Babe Ruth?
20:38Hey, I'll bet if I package my gum
20:41with photos of baseball players,
20:44I could sell a million.
20:48See you, boys.
20:49I've got work to do.
20:52Well, dude, now that you've traded
20:54Babe Ruth's picture for some blubber blubber,
20:56what are we going to give Coach Sweatsocks?
20:59And now batting, the Bambino himself,
21:03Babe Ruth!
21:06The Babe has hit this one hard.
21:08It's going, going, going, gone!
21:12Home run number 60 for Babe Ruth!
21:16Now what, dude?
21:19Leaping air guitar.
21:20What?
21:21Just do it, Ted,
21:22and blow the biggest bubble you can.
21:23Oh, yeah!
21:32Whoa!
21:33The ball that Babe said he would hit for us.
21:35Too bad it's not autographed.
21:37Whoa, wrong!
21:38Check it out!
21:39That Babe is an okay dude.
21:48Three minutes to get back to school
21:50before lunch period is over
21:51and Coach Sweatsocks has us running laps
21:53for the rest of our lives.
22:01Oh, good work, Logan.
22:04Even cleaned up my Babe Ruth ball, I see.
22:07And I see you boys found your gym sneakers.
22:09Soldiers did not need them anymore, Coach.
22:11They won the war.
22:13And the game.
22:14Whew!
22:15That was closer than a military haircut, Ted.
22:19Rufus!
22:21Well, like Yogi Berra used to say,
22:23it ain't over till it's over.
22:25Yeah, and like his little buddy Booboo used to say,
22:28what's for lunch, Yogi?
22:48♪ ♪