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FunTranscript
00:00Spider-Man!
00:30Spider-Man!
01:00Spider-Man!
01:07Spider-Man!
01:37Spider-Man!
01:57Spider-Man!
02:02Spider-Man!
02:05Spider-Man!
02:12Spider-Man!
02:14Spider-Man!
02:16Spider-Man!
02:25See you later, alligator!
02:26A well-aimed shot of my spider-web and the danger is banned here too.
02:40Hopefully I didn't catch a cold.
02:45Dave and Spider-Man, what are you waiting for?
02:48Do something!
02:50You could at least say hello.
03:07So, that case is also solved.
03:21Either my stomach is growling so loud or there's a giant gorilla behind me.
03:27Hmm, so my stomach is fine.
03:33So, if I'm not mistaken, there's a gorilla in this gorilla skin.
03:46I knew I had fans somewhere.
03:51Listen up, little one.
03:54What do you think will happen if Uncle Spidey brings you back to your cozy cage?
04:04What's with the constant growling, you Westside King Kong?
04:08Well, my little one, behind bars you're much more likeable to me.
04:13Oh no, the snakes and lizards also broke out.
04:17And also the alligators.
04:21Where is the next pharmacy? I think I absolutely need something against my snuff.
04:26On the way there I will hunt the reptiles.
04:29Where is the next pharmacy? I think I absolutely need something against my snuff.
04:34On the way there I will hunt the reptiles.
04:45That damn spider guy.
04:49But he won't be able to stop me.
04:52Before this day is over, I will have turned New York into a jungle full of reptiles.
05:01And they will all be controlled by me.
05:05By lizards.
05:11Soon, my dear relatives, I will let you go to the people of New York.
05:19But first, I have something to do in the Underground Railway.
05:39Brooklyn Express, please get in.
05:42Are we there yet? Get out, get out!
05:46I'm drowning! Help!
05:55Get out of here!
06:05Hey, this ugly lizard just stole my subway.
06:10And now a quick detour so that the tunnel is blocked.
06:25Great! And now I'm blocking the other exit of the tunnel.
06:30And I have the ideal terrain to breed a whole army of reptiles.
06:36Soon it will be time.
06:51No trace of the fish.
06:53Ah, there is a pharmacy.
07:07Oh, you! What can I do for you, Spider-Man?
07:11Something good, by giving me something against my cold.
07:15Oh yes, of course we have some remedies against colds. They are on the shelf behind you.
07:20Thank you. Then I'll take a bottle.
07:26What a crap! This damn cold makes me look like the biggest fool.
07:31Help! Help!
07:34Police! The lizard has stolen the Underground Railway!
07:40I think I have to wait for my cold bath.
07:48Out of the way, friends! Help is coming!
07:53And for God's sake, the train is on a collision course.
07:58Spidey, now pull yourself together!
08:08You will not be needed here anymore!
08:16So, now it only takes seconds until the train derails, just like the other one.
08:23Help! The train is getting faster and faster!
08:25Help! I'm scared!
08:35Don't panic, my dear.
08:37The old Spidey will protect you.
08:40One moment, you savior in distress.
08:42Has no one told you that you should not hold your hand in front of your mouth while sneezing?
08:46Do you think we are sharp on your bazilles?
08:49Excuse me, but if you don't let me pass, you will get much more trouble than you can get into the bazilles.
08:56What? Stop being cheeky, you shameless insect!
09:00I'll tell you something!
09:06Nothing to worry about, but I have to bring the train under control now.
09:10If I can unhook the wagons, the passengers will be saved.
09:25Now let's see what's behind this thing.
09:30Ah, here we have the explanation.
09:32You won't stop me, Spider-Man!
09:35Like the original! Everyone who messes with me wants to go to hell!
09:39You have no chance against the power of a reptile, you weber-knecht!
09:51I wouldn't be so sure about that, you disgusting package.
09:54How do you like my double spider-web?
09:56What are you doing?
09:58What are you doing?
10:00What are you doing?
10:02How do you like my double spider-web?
10:04You didn't expect that, did you?
10:11Oh no!
10:15Everything in the world is just the damn brake lever!
10:21Then I have to try it with the anchor-technique.
10:25Stop, comrade!
10:27Or my orthopedic technician can make me prosthesis.
10:31You're just wasting your time, Spider-Man.
10:34Don't you know that spiders are nothing more than food for lizards?
10:53Okay, the turn is yours, you green monster.
11:01As soon as I find out what the guy in the sign is doing, I have to go to the doctor.
11:06Hey, the finger under the nose-dirt actually works.
11:11You think so?
11:16Now that the tunnel is closed, I will order my comrades telepathically from the lab to come here.
11:27Come, my friends, come to your new home.
11:45Soon you will multiply a thousand times and then New York will be ours.
11:52Well, then let's get to work.
11:56I haven't been through this in a hundred years. I need a bigger shovel.
12:02Now it's going much better.
12:09Oh boy, a sniff.
12:14It gets worse by the minute.
12:17Imagine that.
12:19Thousands of reptile eggs.
12:21And they can hatch at any moment.
12:23And I have to ...
12:29I'm starting to get dizzy behind this nightmare.
12:33You're really getting dizzy, Spider-Man.
12:37Unfortunately, you will no longer get to know our offspring.
12:41Because you will no longer experience how he hatches from the eggs.
12:45Get rid of him!
12:52To be continued
13:00Your last piece has been beaten, Spider-Man.
13:03You give up your delicious meal for my friends here.
13:07Really? I think my meat is much too tough.
13:12So far and no further, friends.
13:14I'm afraid I'll have to salt the soup for you.
13:16No further steps.
13:18Crap, that's enough. Now I have to spend the glue for my nets.
13:23Thank God I always have something to refill.
13:32Oh no, now I'm stuck.
13:36What do I do now? I have to sacrifice my boots.
13:39A shame.
13:40A shame.
13:46No, don't let them escape!
13:49You stupid crows, do you see what I have for you?
13:56So, you friendly contemporaries.
13:59Now I'll take your hand.
14:03To be continued
14:07Not from bad parents.
14:09A hook from a boxing champion has a smooth line against it.
14:13Hey, are you out of your pants?
14:16Do you really think you could escape me?
14:24If only I knew how to get through such a narrow gap.
14:29Well, now that the guy has given me money, I hope he won't let me look at him again.
14:40Aha, so this idiot really thinks he can get rid of me once and for all.
14:59But now I've had enough.
15:05Now I'm finally fed up. Let's go to the next doctor.
15:19This radioactive weather control system will fulfill the last step of my plan.
15:26With this, I will turn New York into a damp, hot jungle.
15:31And my just hatched reptiles will fall into the city and drive the people out of it.
15:42When did they catch me?
15:44If I don't call the doctor right away, I'll lose all my mind.
15:51What? What?
15:53Should I confront the doctor now as Spidey or Peter Parker?
15:58Hmm, but if I imagine myself as Peter Parker, he examines my blood and finds out that group S is for spiders, I'll probably get the poor man pretty confused.
16:07Yes, so Spidey will be checked medically for the first time.
16:20Excuse me, I would like to have an appointment with the doctor.
16:24Your name?
16:25Spider-Man.
16:27And how do you spell it?
16:29H-A-G.
16:31Hmm, a very interesting name.
16:34Take a seat. You have to be patient for a moment.
16:38Hopefully not for that long, nurse.
16:42Is something wrong? You've probably never seen a sick Spider-Man in your life.
16:48Oh, oh.
16:53That would be done. All I have to do now is install my miracle device and New York will turn into a greenhouse.
17:17Oh, oh.
17:35Oh, everything is going according to plan. And now the little ones will hatch from the eggs.
17:47Help! Help!
18:10There are snakes and crocodiles everywhere! Help!
18:18Mr. Spider-Man, it's your turn. Please.
18:23Hmm, you obviously have a very strong heart, Spider-Man.
18:28I'm glad, doctor. H-A-G.
18:32Hmm, that doesn't sound good at all. I'll take a look at your gills. Say A-A-A-A-A-A.
18:42Hmm, you have to take off your mask when I have to examine you properly.
18:47Forget it, doctor. My identity is and remains my secret. Who knows, maybe my almonds will betray me.
18:54All right, then I'll at least examine your pulse.
18:58Watch out, that's my power gun.
19:05Doctor, please do something about my snuff.
19:08Oh, it doesn't look like you have a snuff, Spider-Man. I'll do an allergy test with you.
19:14Uh, do you really think that's necessary, doc? Can't I just take a few aspirins and come to you again tomorrow?
19:21Don't worry, Spider-Man, it won't hurt at all.
19:25Yes, all doctors say that. Probably because they only peck others and never themselves.
19:31Huh?
19:34Uh-oh.
19:36Tch, that sounds like a disaster. I'm sorry, nothing will come out of your syringe.
19:44Go! Drive the people out of town!
19:52That's impossible!
19:57Uh-oh.
19:59Tch, the man has to be helped.
20:10Tch, get out of here, man.
20:13Thank you, Spider-Man. That was a last minute rescue.
20:16No problem. By the way, I demand two dollars per kilometer and I can't change big bills.
20:24Quick, this way!
20:29Damn it, we're trapped.
20:34Spider-Man, you have to save us, quick!
20:37We're already here.
20:39Don't worry, guys. Spidey has the whole thing under control.
20:53Thank you, Spidey. That was great, man.
20:56Oh, that was just routine. If it had been great, you'd be applauding now.
21:01Call the police! Call the police!
21:05I know that unpleasant, neck-shaking voice from somewhere.
21:09It belongs to G. John A. ...
21:13... Jameson.
21:20Call the army, Betty!
21:24Betty?
21:27Oh, shit!
21:35No, stay here. I'll take back everything I said or wrote about you.
21:40Set me free, Spider-Man.
21:43You mean you're going to make a full-fledged appeal...
21:46... just to say nice things about me?
21:49Are you still in mourning? That makes me totally ridiculous.
21:53You're right, G. J. That's not worth it. Have a nice day.
21:57Okay, okay. I agree. If you set me free, do something.
22:08I smeared you, Spider-Man.
22:11I'm going to write an article about you.
22:13But in that article, it's going to say what a criminal you are.
22:16No, you didn't smear me, G. J. I knew you wouldn't keep your word.
22:20You've never done it before. And now I'm asking you to forgive me.
22:27And now I'm not getting the upper hand.
22:29Think about it. If I were him, what would I do?
22:32Very simple. I would destroy Spider-Man.
22:35Hey, wait a minute. That's me.
22:38Very well combined, Weber-Knecht.
22:40And that's exactly what I'm going to do now.
22:45Not bad, sportsman.
22:47But you still have to improve a lot if you want to get rid of me.
22:50If there's nothing else, Spider-Man.
22:54Didn't you know that lizards can throw off their tails and let a new one grow?
22:59That's right. I learned that in zoology.
23:02But that was a long time ago.
23:09The thing is, if I manage to change the transmission frequency of this radio antenna,
23:15then the telepathic commands of this lizard will be over in a jiffy.
23:30No! That destroys my telepathic powers!
23:39No!
23:42So, my good one. Now you can play the lighthouse game
23:45with which all lizards go back to their homes.
23:52Well, well. This time you won.
23:55But my revenge will be terrible, Spider-Man.
23:59I will come back.
24:03So, that would be over.
24:12What you can't say about my sniffing.
24:22Don't make it so exciting, Doc. What's going on?
24:25Well, I don't know how to tell you, Spider-Man.
24:29It's a case of allergic hyper-reptiles.
24:33Will I survive?
24:35What a question, Spider-Man.
24:37That only means that you react allergic to reptiles.
24:41Oh, is that all?
24:43You may have caught me off guard.
24:45Well, now that all the reptiles are back in the zoo, I feel great again.
24:49Wonderful, Spider-Man.
24:51Oh, I forget. My bill.
24:5450 dollars?
24:56I think I'm allergic to that, too.
25:26Spider-Man!
25:28Spider-Man!
25:31Spider-Man!