• 4 months ago
BF For Hire Full
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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Senior year. The culmination of all my careful planning.
00:04Perfect grades. The model boyfriend.
00:07It's all falling into place.
00:09Hey Jake!
00:12What'd you want to talk about?
00:14We need to break up.
00:15What?
00:16Come on, Claire.
00:17Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:19But everything was going so well.
00:21I've been seeing someone else.
00:23It's okay, Claire. I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone.
00:31Claire.
00:33My jacket?
00:43See you at school.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We've been together for two years, though.
00:57Exactly! Forget him. This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:02I don't want to start fresh. I just want Jake back.
01:05Wait, wait, wait, pause.
01:07You want to get back together with him?
01:09Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's going to realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:29So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:36Really?
01:37Yeah.
01:38Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:41Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:43Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:46What is it?
01:47Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous, and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:00Simple.
02:01You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:03I don't know.
02:05Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:07Well, you need to trust me, because it's going to work.
02:09Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:13Babe, it's 2020.
02:15You know that anything's possible.
02:17Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle, where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:23Wait, how do you know about this?
02:25This is about you. This is about you.
02:28So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:31Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:33And... done.
02:35Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on, I'm going to add a bio to make you seem a little bit more... fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:48Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:51Yeah.
02:53And...
02:54Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude. You have a match.
02:58And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoon-worthy.
03:05Yeah, local athlete.
03:08He has a five-star rating!
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing. You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:18Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:21Let's see.
03:22Wait, what are you doing?
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one. So... let's get dressed.
03:35Zoe!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoe!
03:38Come on!
03:39That is too soon!
03:42I'm sorry.
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended. I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um, no. Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh. Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear that.
04:06Thanks. Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:10Yeah, you too.
04:12Bye.
04:33You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second. You don't have to wait. Thank you, though.
04:37I'm not. I'm actually... I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:41Do you have to do it right here?
04:43It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:49I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:51Poor thing's going through a rough break-up.
04:58Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Oh, man! What? This is epic!
05:02This is a mistake. Look, forget about everything. You can even keep the money.
05:06Oh, no, no, no. You can't get away that easy.
05:08Please, don't tell Jake about this.
05:10Okay, I won't tell him.
05:12And I'll do you one better.
05:14I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:22I just wanted to hire someone for a date. You know, make Jake jealous.
05:26Great. I'm in.
05:27No. Look, we can't do that. He's your brother.
05:31Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:33I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:36No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:39Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:42Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:44No. Forget it. Look, I'll find someone else.
05:46Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:53Come on. You want to make him jealous, and I want to teach him a lesson. It's a win-win.
06:00Fine. But we follow my plan. No improvising.
06:04Yes, ma'am.
06:06So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:09Tomorrow night.
06:10That's his birthday party.
06:12Exactly.
06:13That's his birthday party.
06:15Exactly.
06:18Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:24Jeez, take it easy.
06:26I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember? You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:32Okay, okay, yeah. What was the question?
06:34Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:39We had a magical night at the movies.
06:42Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:44Yes, they do.
06:45Isn't that kind of lame?
06:47It's not lame. It's believable.
06:50No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:56What epic love story? We've been dating for like a week.
07:00Well...
07:03Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:07Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:11I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:13Fine, love at second sight.
07:16Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:19I'm getting Jake back.
07:21He cheated on you.
07:22It was a mistake. Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:26Wow, how romantic.
07:28You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:32Real relationships never work.
07:34That's why I'm on the app.
07:36With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:42How romantic.
07:46Uh, well, I gotta go. I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:51Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:53How about you drop the plan and just go to the movies?
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risk worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun. That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope. No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:32What I mean is you don't need any makeup. You already look amazing without it.
08:36You can save the theatrics for now. We're not at the party yet.
08:39No, I'm serious. You look beautiful. You always do.
08:45Thank you. I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry. I'll be by your side the whole night. I promise.
08:51You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:03I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You starred in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You still had time for math leads.
09:13I can't believe you know all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy, Damon Corle.
09:29Hey, careful. I have a reputation to uphold.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
09:54Hi.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for once.
10:23Hi.
10:51I'm gonna get us drinks.
10:52I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:03I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:07Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:09What?
11:10You and the town hottie.
11:12No, I mean, we're just... I don't know.
11:14Pretending or actually having fun for once?
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:41He said he'd only give his jacket to one special girl.
11:55It's time to amp this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have I ever?
12:01Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:10Okay.
12:19Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:22Okay.
12:24Never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:30Cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:33Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:41Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:44Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:47Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
12:51Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:02I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:04I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:05I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:07I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:09Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire!
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:42And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night.
13:48And I thought we were...
13:51It doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where
14:09probably setting up a new date with the girl in that stupid app.
14:14So yeah, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:31Hey.
14:32Sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Yeah.
14:34I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:39Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry.
14:42I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:46Hey, talk to me.
14:48You just left me in there.
14:50I know.
14:51I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking.
14:53I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:57So the plan, this...
15:00It's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there.
15:09So why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number.
15:23Okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want to fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want...
15:33a real one.
15:37I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:41Well, maybe I realized that...
15:44you're the risk worth taking.
16:02Okay.
16:07Come on.
16:08Slapshot239.
16:11Take me home.
16:17Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah, just make sure these two dots match.
16:22They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay.
16:25I am trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date.
16:32But Damon's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changes his mind,
16:36but he won't budge.
16:38Well, that's his loss because you are about to be
16:41the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way!
16:46I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot
16:50because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because
16:54people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:08Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea
17:10aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:19I don't even remember.
17:21You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that
17:30you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered
17:39to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:42I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:48It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have
17:58one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02Jay-Zoey.
18:04Zoey. Absolutely not.
18:08Well, more Zoey for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Oh, it's Damon!
18:17Or should I say Claremon?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can, Claremon.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay, bye.
18:27Hey, beautif...
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoey is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your Royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were rolling with Zo.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully,
18:57I bet you can hear Jay...
18:59Yep, there's Jay, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun,
19:06and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft-ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be?
19:17Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:34And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:36because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen.
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:45How could she not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:52It's lame.
19:53Easy for you to say.
19:54You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:57I get that this seems like a big deal to you now,
19:59but I promise when you get out of high school,
20:01you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:05Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:11No, I'm not talking about her.
20:12You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature,
20:15maybe you should skip the dance together and get a cheese board
20:17and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean... Claire.
20:29Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:39Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire.
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa, did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base
20:57and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if, when, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did,
21:27but I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:37It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39It's fine.
21:40Just, at least she'll be there.
21:43Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:49I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:51I know.
21:52It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
22:00Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa, is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:10I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah, me neither.
22:24I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:30Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:42It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:51You mean this one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
23:01What, like you can do better?
23:03Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see, by all means.
23:24Oh, uh, sorry.
23:26Chelsea's calling me.
23:27I should get it.
23:29I'll see you later?
23:31Yeah, yeah.
23:32See ya.
23:35Beep, beep, beep.
23:49Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:53Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow.
23:57You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you, are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too.
24:17I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:21How do you, how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:33Is this going to match your dress?
24:35You're coming?
24:37And you got me a corsage?
24:39Is that against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:41I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:44My crowns are meant to protect you.
24:46For what?
24:47Nothing, nothing.
24:49I'm just talking to myself.
24:51Okay, well how about a little less chit chat and a little more boogie?
24:54Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:56And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:03Okay.
25:15This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:22Yes, yes, it is.
25:24I'm so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What? No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe, cut me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:43I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:51Well, since I've been away for two weeks,
25:53I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day,
25:56and then, you know, we've got the party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap.
26:03Um, Nico Guitar Flames is calling. Who's that?
26:08I completely forgot I have a lesson now.
26:13Is this why you've gotten so into guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student.
26:20And my favorite student's friend?
26:24We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:28Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:41Who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, Damon.
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:46I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:49No! I mean...
26:51No! No.
26:53She's right. Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate. Something to be shared between two.
26:58Or three.
26:59Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:05Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love? Who said?
27:09I don't... We...
27:11I... We don't... Um...
27:15Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course.
27:19Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean, not a bunch of times.
27:25The normal amount of times.
27:27There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:30You know? There's a lot of stress.
27:32And then you don't know who should say it first.
27:34Or when you should say it.
27:36Or if they'll ever say it back.
27:40Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:51Yeah!
27:58Damon?
28:00Hey, Zoe! What's up? How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome! I'm... I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:18Claire's guitar teacher.
28:22Nico... Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking. Like, at all.
28:27Oh, no. He's a solid 9.5.
28:29And then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:32I just think it's weird.
28:34You know, we...
28:36She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:38And we're watching movies they both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend
28:42hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:51I wouldn't feel great about it.
28:53But I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me.
28:58And not him.
29:00I just don't get it.
29:02I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:04I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:07Yeah, Damon. I don't know.
29:09Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:11Who am I going to talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:14If only you knew somebody that dated Claire
29:16and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:20Yeah. Is that weird?
29:22I feel better than you calling me about this.
29:24Yeah, okay. You're right.
29:26You're good friends, though.
29:28Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:30Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:35Focus on that.
29:37Yeah. Thanks, Zoe. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Beep. Beep. Beep.
29:45Love.
29:47Love.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:51Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday,
29:59but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:05What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:07Kidding. Obviously.
30:09Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off with her guitar teacher?
30:14Probably not.
30:15Oh, that's right. She started studying with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up.
30:21He's amazing. So, so talented.
30:24So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:42That's not... That's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:47Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smash talkie brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with, are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously, though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:29I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:32Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire,
31:46but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked,
31:51and she's actually kind of... interesting.
31:56So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
32:00Yeah. It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Consider it my birthday gift to you.
32:07Gee, thanks a lot.
32:10So, what are you still doing here?
32:12Go before she hires Sneako to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:16Bye.
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Sneako to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:24Bye.
32:25Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. Thanks, bye.
32:40Hey! I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and this was going to be your birthday surprise,
32:53but I just... I didn't think it could wait.
33:01Okay.
33:10You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple in my eye.
33:15You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19But you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:27I have to say, I...
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:37Moments, you're...
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:54Love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you check with Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just no subtitles, deal?
34:14Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:25Yes, please.
34:56Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:02That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:06Not really, but yeah.
35:09Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates?
35:12Rose petals?
35:13Massage oil?
35:14Scented candles?
35:15All of that?
35:17Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:19I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:30Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please, do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping, so look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon.
35:50Me and Damon.
35:51There's no going back.
35:52Going back to what?
35:54To Jake?
35:55Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No.
35:58Not talking.
35:59Just...
36:00I don't know.
36:01We dated for so long.
36:02It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:12About time.
36:13She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:16Nothing, Claire.
36:17I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:20You're good.
36:21You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:27I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:30Plus, Damon is gonna be ten times better than Jake.
36:33Think about all that experience.
36:35Why would you say that?
36:37So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40God, he's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:46God, thanks a lot.
36:47It's just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:53Oh, it's Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:56Bye.
37:01Hey.
37:05You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:12You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:20Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:22Bad news?
37:23No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:28Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:33Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:36So you remember.
37:37She's back.
37:38Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:40I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:41Do you mind if I rain check?
37:42Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:49Hmm, let me think about that.
37:52I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise, she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
37:58Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:00Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:04Actually, uh, do not.
38:07She is the literal girl version of you.
38:09That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:11Trust me, it's strictly a friend thing.
38:13I don't know.
38:14I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:16You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:18Yeah, and now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:20I'm being serious.
38:22We both have exes, Claire.
38:23Come on.
38:24Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:27Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:29Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:31Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:36I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:39And I was hoping this could be our special.
38:42She's here, I gotta go.
38:44Love you.
38:45Beep, beep, beep.
38:58I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:02Ha, ha, funny.
39:04You know what else is funny?
39:06Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:08Wow, which one?
39:10Please don't say Natasha.
39:12Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:16Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned
39:24to ruin my perfect night.
39:26Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:30Same difference.
39:31Okay, Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:37He showered.
39:39Okay.
39:40He's pretty.
39:41He does that.
39:43Anything else?
39:44I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:46Shit.
39:47She just posted a story.
39:48I can't look at it.
39:49She'll know.
39:50She has 80,000 followers.
39:51She's not going to see your name.
39:52I can't look, Zoe.
39:53You look.
39:54What is it?
39:55Are they kissing?
39:56Are they back together?
39:57Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:10Why would you have me look at that?
40:21This is it.
40:22They're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:26You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:30Again, with the not helping, but this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:36I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:38I know that you're being insane.
40:40Damon loves you.
40:41He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:43Did you see the photo?
40:45He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:49They're not snuggling.
40:51And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at
40:54him for not being a mind reader.
40:56You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a
41:00mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:07I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:10I gotta go.
41:11Don't trip.
41:12I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:29What?
41:30Nothing.
41:31Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:35Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can
41:39take.
41:40What happened?
41:41Nothing.
41:42What?
41:43Nothing.
41:44Nothing nothing?
41:45Or something nothing?
41:46You were right.
41:47That was a bad idea.
41:48It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:51She hasn't changed at all.
41:52I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:57Wait.
41:58You kissed?
41:59No.
42:00No, she tried.
42:01Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:02I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:04Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:09Like, ever.
42:10Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:15I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:17Wait.
42:18Are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please.
42:22You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But, do I see some black silk under there?
42:30I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on.
42:32Let me up.
42:34Let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the straight punches.
42:41Right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down.
42:44Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you, three times since this morning.
42:51Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:57Did I say that already?
42:59Like, four times.
43:00Well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, did you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:07How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how-
43:12Uppercuts.
43:13Target zone.
43:14Where is it?
43:15Underneath the chin.
43:16Elbows tight to the body.
43:17Now.
43:18Wow.
43:19That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad.
43:25I'm just tired.
43:26Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean-
43:29No, Claire.
43:30I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came, and the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon,
43:44and now Damon's calling me to talk about you, and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend,
44:02but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean-
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh, my God.
44:13What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:18I've been seeing someone, and it's getting pretty serious,
44:22but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:42I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect, and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:01I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:10I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:14What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:20I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:24What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:30Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:34Like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea.
45:40You know she broke up with Jake, and he's devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:47So you're the other woman now.
45:49That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry.
45:53What?
45:54She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:59Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:03Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:06Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:16Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:18And whose fault is that?
46:20Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a 10, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't have been easy.
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up.
47:11And I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you.
47:25And I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:40I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:57Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind.
48:12But for some reason with Claire, you just bottle it up, and it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with,
48:21Me and Damon did this, and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us?
48:28Or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:44Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:47Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:58Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'd be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No? Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Nico?
49:31Oh, yeah! Another way how she's ruined our lives! Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing, I just... I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So, maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:55Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk?
50:01No, no. I just... I think it's... maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me?
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe, you know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:18I was wrong.
50:20You're still very cute, though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay. I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:48Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world?
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked. I'm just... I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter, because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:34I think she might be... my person.
51:39If you're happy, I'm happy. Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that? Best Friend for Hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I chipped.
52:10I'm sorry, too.
52:12I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:18And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait. Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:33But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just... your special night?
53:08You