Sponge Bob Season 3 Episode 3b One Crabs Trash
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00:00Ah, a ye olde saying. You know the olde saying, one man's trash is another man's treasure.
00:12Disposable? Fooey!
00:17For Mr. Krabs, all trash is treasure.
00:29Open for business.
00:33See anything you like?
00:35Yeah, I'll give you a buck fifty for this umbrella.
00:38A buck fifty for that? But it's an antique. It belonged to a queen. Ten bucks.
00:45Ten bucks? It was full of holes.
00:49It was the queen of Switzerland.
00:51A queen, you say? That's right. Wait a second, they don't have a queen.
00:57Okay, Mr. Bargain Hunter, five bucks.
01:01Deal!
01:04Ah, the sweet smell of an all-day sucker.
01:11They taste even better. Hi, Mr. Krabs.
01:14What you doing?
01:17I'm having an antique sale. Have a look around.
01:22Hey, Patrick, look at this thing. Pretty cool, huh?
01:25That looks like the toilet plunger I threw out yesterday.
01:29That ain't no toilet plunger. This here's an antique. It's a 17th century soup ladle. See?
01:40Man, was I using mine wrong. How much?
01:44Five bucks.
01:47I've only got seven.
01:50Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper.
01:57Wow, look at this neat-o soda drinking hat.
02:03It must have belonged to someone who was number one.
02:08There's only been a handful of number ones in the entire history of forever.
02:13That's right, SpongeBob, and you're one of them.
02:17Really?
02:18This hat says, hey, I'm number one, and I let gravity do my drinking.
02:24This hat was made for you, boy. You were born to wear this hat.
02:32A perfect fit, eh, son?
02:34Oh, thank you, Mr. Krabs. Thank you for bringing us together.
02:38How can I ever repay you?
02:42All I have is five.
02:45Well, I guess it's no deal.
02:47I'll be right back.
02:58Mr. Krabs, I found 68 cents, but maybe you could take the other $4.32 out of my paycheck. What do you say?
03:07Well, I don't know.
03:11Okay.
03:12But only because you look so dashing in that hat.
03:16Thanks, Mr. Krabs.
03:18Don't mention it, boys.
03:21What a couple of rubes.
03:24Excuse me, sir, but are you the purveyor of this curio stand?
03:28Yes, I am.
03:30I understand you're selling this rare novelty drink hat.
03:33Fresh out.
03:34Let me explain.
03:35I'm prepared to give you $500 for that drink hat.
03:43Not so fast. I'll give you $1,000 for such a hat.
03:50I'll give you $100,000 in cash for said hat.
03:56Sir, I'll give you $1,000,000 for that hat.
04:01SpongeBob!
04:09There he is with me $1,000,000 hat.
04:12I gotta get it back before he finds out how much it's worth.
04:15My bubble production has increased twofold.
04:19Thanks to you, Hattie.
04:21SpongeBob!
04:22Hey, Mr. K. How's the antique biz treating you?
04:25Oh, never mind that.
04:26Listen, I didn't want to say this in front of Patrick.
04:29That hat makes you look like a girl.
04:32Am I a pretty girl?
04:35Oh, well, um, you're beautiful.
04:42All right, now give me the hat back.
04:44But, Mr. Krabs, you said it yourself.
04:46I will not take it.
04:48But, Mr. Krabs, you said it yourself.
04:50I was born to wear this hat.
04:52I don't want to give it back.
04:54I can't part with this hat now.
04:57Not after all we've been through.
04:59Thanks, Mr. Krabs.
05:01I'll call you Hattie.
05:03And that's when you showed up.
05:05Oh, forget it.
05:07And you're not beautiful either.
05:10I'm not?
05:19SpongeBob, just the man I wanted to see.
05:22Still playing with that dumb old hat, eh?
05:24Yep.
05:25Not sick of that boring old hat yet?
05:27Nope.
05:28Not even a little tired of that old piece of junk?
05:31Mm-mm.
05:32Not even a teensy tiny bit?
05:34Nope.
05:35Well, then, I guess you don't want to see what's in my bag.
05:38What is it?
05:39Novelty hats.
05:41How about this air-conditioned one?
05:45Seems a little dangerous.
05:47Looser.
05:51Foxy Grandpa.
05:54So what do you say?
05:55Your silly hat for all these hats.
05:59No deal, Mr. Krabs.
06:01I'm sticking with Hattie.
06:03Thanks for the offer, though.
06:04I thought that Foxy Grandpa would get them for sure.
06:07I didn't want to have to do this,
06:09but he leaves me no other option.
06:12I'm gonna have to scare it off of him.
06:18Meow.
06:20Meow.
06:26This'll scare him.
06:33Whoa!
06:36Oh, my gosh!
06:38A floating shopping list!
06:41Ah!
06:44I'm not a shopping list.
06:46I'm a ghost!
06:48Ah!
06:53Now, listen, SpongeBob.
06:56How do you know my name?
06:57Who are you?
06:59I am the ghost of Soda Drink Hats,
07:02and I'm here to tell you that that Soda Drink Hat you possess
07:06is cursed.
07:08Cursed?
07:09Yes.
07:10It once belonged to some guy who's dead now.
07:14What guy?
07:15Uh, uh, Smitty something.
07:18Smitty what?
07:19Uh, Smitty Worming Jagerman Jensen.
07:24He must have been number one.
07:26Number one in Boogie Land.
07:28Now, listen, a curse will descend on you
07:31unless the hat is returned to its owner immediately.
07:35Immediately?
07:36Immediately.
07:38To its owner?
07:39Yes.
07:41Right now?
07:42Yes, yes.
07:43It must be returned to its owner right now.
07:47Hey, Mr. Krabs.
07:48SpongeBob.
07:49Uh, what are you doing here?
07:51Oh, I was just returning the cursed Soda Drink Hat
07:54to its original owner, Smitty Worming Jagerman Jensen.
07:57What?
07:58There is no Smitty Worming Jagerman Jensen.
08:02Sure there is.
08:03He's buried out in Floater Cemetery.
08:05How did I just get it?
08:07I would...
08:09Give me that shovel.
08:11It was his hat, Mr. Krabs.
08:13He was number one.
08:36Hold yourself together, Krabs.
08:38It's just a boneyard filled with bones.
08:45What's that?
08:46It's Squidward.
08:47What's he doing here?
08:58Here lie Squidward's hopes and dreams.
09:01What a baby.
09:03Where was I?
09:04Oh, yeah.
09:05Gotta find Smitty What's-A-Gipster.
09:07Nope.
09:08Nope.
09:09Nope.
09:10Nope.
09:11Nope.
09:12Uh-uh.
09:13Nope.
09:14Nope.
09:15Uh-uh.
09:16Nope.
09:17Not there.
09:18I've checked every headstone in this cemetery,
09:19and there's no Smitty What's-A-Gipster buried here.
09:22Hey, Krabs.
09:23Maybe something SpongeBob said will give you some kind of clue.
09:27Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.
09:31No, not that.
09:32You'll never guess what I found in my sock last night.
09:35Go ahead.
09:36No, no, no, no, no.
09:38It was his hat, Mr. Krabs.
09:40He was number one.
09:43Barnacles!
09:45I'll never find...
09:50A grave.
09:52Am I really going to defile this grave for money?
09:57Of course I am.
10:02Jackpot!
10:07It's beautiful.
10:09Come to papa.
10:12Hey, come on, Smitty.
10:14Let go.
10:16Rest in pieces, Smitty.
10:19I got the million dollar hat.
10:24Hey, man.
10:25That's my hat.
10:27Give it back.
10:28What?
10:29No way.
10:30Just crawl back into your hole, bone boy.
10:33Go ahead.
10:34Lay dead.
10:35I guess I'm going to have to take it from you.
10:38Yeah, right.
10:39You and what army?
10:42Only the army of the living dead.
10:45Oh, no.
10:46I've seen this on the late show.
10:48You foolish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards.
10:52Then you eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards.
10:55That's disgusting.
10:57We just want the hat back.
10:59No flippin' way.
11:02Back up.
11:03Back up, I say.
11:04Attack.
11:07Tally-ho.
11:09Look at me.
11:10I'm arrow fin.
11:11You're fat and a part, marrow brain.
11:14You must be kidding.
11:15Back to oblivion.
11:17Ho-ho.
11:18How's your sister?
11:19All right, bone heads.
11:21Playtime's over.
11:22Yee-haw.
11:25Yee-haw.
11:27Way to go, you fiend.
11:29White, you're the better guy in the world.
11:34A million dollars.
11:36I've got a million dollars.
11:39Well, you can't find it that far.
11:41I need a big hand.
11:43Oh, there you are.
11:44Well, I got it.
11:46The rare novelty soda drink hat.
11:48Let's start the bidding at one million dollars.
11:55Yeah, you want that all at once?
11:58One million dollars.
11:59Get it.
12:00Get it.
12:02Hey, the poor chef's not kidding.
12:04Didn't you hear?
12:05They found a whole warehouse full of them.
12:08They're worthless.
12:12Let's give Mr. Krabs a big hand.
12:17Now that's worth a million dollars.
12:22Hey, kid.
12:23Buzz on first.
12:24I'll give you one billion dollars.
12:29Well, that's a spirit breaker.