"We take a day off from our baby every week - it makes us better parents"
A working couple take a day off from their baby every week to get a "guaranteed" good nights sleep and says it makes them "better parents".
Lauren, 31, and Ross Stevens, 34, were looking for childcare solutions for their 14-month-old Sophie so Lauren could return to work.
The parents couldn't afford the £1,700 monthly bill for full-time nursery and don't have family in the same city.
They decided to let Ross' parents pick their granddaughter up from a half day at nursery every Monday and take them back to there home in Ayrshire, Scotland.
Sophie then spends the night, before they take her back to nursery for the afternoon on Tuesday - when Lauren then picks her up.
The day allows the parents to get a guaranteed good nights sleep and get on top of household chores and for Sophie to have quality time with her grandparents.
Lauren, who works in finance, from Edinburgh said: "Nursery is so expensive.
"It's treble our mortgage to have her in for five days a week. Even four days was double.
"I asked Ross' parents if they would be interested in doing the over night.
"They wanted to help.
"I think it has been brilliant.
"I get to do things like shopping, cleaning. Because we get that time off we get it all done.
"I get a guaranteed night of good sleep. She didn't sleep until 11 months old - we're seriously sleep deprived.
"It makes us better parents.
"I can then just focus on being with her."
Lauren and Ross, a building merchant, pay for two half days of nursery a week - costing £79 - and two days with a childminder.
Ross' parents look after Sophie on Monday afternoon through to Tuesday lunch time in their Ayrshire home - an hour and a half away.
Lauren is then with Sophie on Wednesday and she goes to a childminder for the rest of the week.
Lauren was a little worried about the arrangement at first.
She said: "The fact it was formal - it was nerve-wracking.
"It comes with its challenges. There is guilt around it."
Lauren uses the time to get on top of the housework and chores as well as having some down time.
She said: "I don't have to sneak around. I go for a bath.
"I'm not then stressed about cleaning the house.
"It alleviates all that.
"We don't have the dropping her off with family for half an hour."
The couple haven't used the time off yet for a date night but hope to start treating themselves to one once a month.
Lauren says it's also for Sophie's grandparents to get quality time with her.
She said: "It's more valuable for them. They have a cuddle before bed time. They are nicer memories.
"They are absolutely loving it. They wouldn't have it any other way."
Lauren says she has had some backhanded compliments from friends and online strangers.
She said: "They say 'I would have loved to have that but I just can't ever be apart'.
"I'm a person as well - I have to make sure all my cups are full.
"Otherwise you won't be a good parent."
Lauren, 31, and Ross Stevens, 34, were looking for childcare solutions for their 14-month-old Sophie so Lauren could return to work.
The parents couldn't afford the £1,700 monthly bill for full-time nursery and don't have family in the same city.
They decided to let Ross' parents pick their granddaughter up from a half day at nursery every Monday and take them back to there home in Ayrshire, Scotland.
Sophie then spends the night, before they take her back to nursery for the afternoon on Tuesday - when Lauren then picks her up.
The day allows the parents to get a guaranteed good nights sleep and get on top of household chores and for Sophie to have quality time with her grandparents.
Lauren, who works in finance, from Edinburgh said: "Nursery is so expensive.
"It's treble our mortgage to have her in for five days a week. Even four days was double.
"I asked Ross' parents if they would be interested in doing the over night.
"They wanted to help.
"I think it has been brilliant.
"I get to do things like shopping, cleaning. Because we get that time off we get it all done.
"I get a guaranteed night of good sleep. She didn't sleep until 11 months old - we're seriously sleep deprived.
"It makes us better parents.
"I can then just focus on being with her."
Lauren and Ross, a building merchant, pay for two half days of nursery a week - costing £79 - and two days with a childminder.
Ross' parents look after Sophie on Monday afternoon through to Tuesday lunch time in their Ayrshire home - an hour and a half away.
Lauren is then with Sophie on Wednesday and she goes to a childminder for the rest of the week.
Lauren was a little worried about the arrangement at first.
She said: "The fact it was formal - it was nerve-wracking.
"It comes with its challenges. There is guilt around it."
Lauren uses the time to get on top of the housework and chores as well as having some down time.
She said: "I don't have to sneak around. I go for a bath.
"I'm not then stressed about cleaning the house.
"It alleviates all that.
"We don't have the dropping her off with family for half an hour."
The couple haven't used the time off yet for a date night but hope to start treating themselves to one once a month.
Lauren says it's also for Sophie's grandparents to get quality time with her.
She said: "It's more valuable for them. They have a cuddle before bed time. They are nicer memories.
"They are absolutely loving it. They wouldn't have it any other way."
Lauren says she has had some backhanded compliments from friends and online strangers.
She said: "They say 'I would have loved to have that but I just can't ever be apart'.
"I'm a person as well - I have to make sure all my cups are full.
"Otherwise you won't be a good parent."
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FunTranscript
00:00We have a day off from our baby every single week, and let me tell you why it works.
00:05We don't live very close to any of our family, and our baby's grandparents live about an hour and a half away.
00:13When we were considering going back to work, or not considering, planning,
00:18part of our childcare arrangement was possibly for one of those grandparents to do like a half day,
00:24if they wanted to, because one set of grandparents are retired.
00:28And they wanted to do this, and that then led on to discussions around, you know, the logistics of that.
00:34And in my head, I thought, well, it feels like such a waste, not a waste, but a lot of time driving
00:41to not get so much time with Sophie, particularly when she naps and things.
00:46And so I floated the idea of a sleepover with them.
00:50A friend of mine actually does this and it inspired me to do it.
00:55So they were really interested and keen to try the sleepover idea,
00:58and the way it now works is they pick her up from half day at nursery,
01:02and then they take her through to Ayrshire, where she stays the night,
01:06and then they bring her back through to Edinburgh, and then put her into nursery for the afternoon session.
01:11And what this essentially means is that we get a full night off every week,
01:16and a morning off for me because I do all the job offers.
01:20I cannot tell you how much it impacts our week in such a positive way.
01:27And sometimes I think, is that really terrible that we have a whole night off every single week from our baby,
01:34and we're not being a parent for that time.
01:37But actually, the way it helps my husband and I refill our cup, we get to go to the gym,
01:43we get to give the place a whip around, we get to meal prep, we get to meal plan,
01:47we get to shower or bath and wash hair. I wash my hair.
01:53Plan out the week a little bit better, and it just really refills our cups,
01:58so that when we pick her up on a Tuesday night, we have the best time with her for the rest of the week,
02:03and we don't feel like bedraggled or that stressed.
02:07Don't get me wrong, obviously, we still feel stressed and bedraggled,
02:10but I think it just wicks out so much pressure and just gives us a chance to catch up
02:17and catch a break on washing and things.
02:20Now, I'm not saying you should try to have a night off from your baby every week,
02:23but I'm just saying that it's maybe an option if you don't live super close to family,
02:28and it's really worked out for us.
02:30And yes, of course, we miss her. We miss her terribly.
02:33But she has a great time, and she's building her memories with her grandparents, and I love that.
02:40Anyway, I'm coming at you on my morning off, and it is delightful.
02:44I've just been able to curl my hair, get myself ready, tidy up the flat a little bit,
02:49and then I'm just about to head to work early so I can finish early to see my girl.
02:53I've been back at work now for a month and a half, and I've been on a phased approach.
02:58I'm currently on three days. This is a three-day week, and then next week marks a four-day week,
03:03and that will be what I will do for the rest of my time, really, at least with childcare.
03:10I wanted to share that the phased element of the role has been so positive for me,
03:16but I think I'm really nervous and struggling and conflicted about this next step,
03:22which is moving from three to four days, because it's just been a real challenge to get all the work done.
03:28I've constantly felt backed up in the sense of, like, never cleaning my to-do list
03:32or never really feeling like I'm completing anything, and I struggle with that feeling.
03:37But then, interestingly, on the flip side, I feel like next week really marks a definitive line
03:43where I will spend more time of the week as a working mum than I will as a mum,
03:51and part of me is really sad about that, and it feels, bizarrely, it feels a little bit more challenging
03:58to wrap my head around than going back to work in the first place did,
04:01I think because I was ready to go back to work in some degree,
04:05but I don't think I'm ready to spend more time at work than with my baby.