Punjabi movie funny clip
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00This is your brother, Kat.
00:02He's fought a lot of wars.
00:04He's lying.
00:06He was a soldier.
00:10All the wars he's fought,
00:12he's fought with us.
00:14Don't you get blinded by this?
00:18Enemies
00:20are like carrots,
00:22they grow.
00:24Sometimes they say,
00:26they grow on trees.
00:28What kind of girls
00:30fight in this?
00:32The ones you see outside the kitchen.
00:34Your uncle keeps fighting.
00:36How many bullets did he fire?
00:38Bullets are fired.
00:40That's what I'm trying to say.
00:42Your uncle would've been martyred.
00:44Then we wouldn't have thought he was in the war.
00:46And your son,
00:48keeps calling me a liar.
00:50It's okay, we'll talk to our son.
00:52You talk to your heart.
00:54Being a liar is not a bad thing.
00:56You tell me,
00:58how do you drive a tank?
01:00Listen to me.
01:02You're an old man.
01:04Have you seen a picture of me
01:06standing here with a tank?
01:08I've seen it.
01:10I used to go to the battlefield with a tank.
01:12I used to shoot bullets.
01:14I used to take pictures of planes.
01:16Now you want me to drive a plane?
01:18Listen to me.
01:20I don't like garlic.
01:22He's right.
01:24He's right.
01:26I don't like garlic.
01:28Don't listen to him.
01:30You're 16 years old,
01:32and you're making fun of me.
01:34Bloody fool, I will kill you.
01:36Kill me. I don't care.
01:38Stop.
01:40Stop.
01:42Now listen to me.
01:46End.
01:48Stop.
01:50That's it?
01:52You don't know English.
01:54Say something.
01:56You've already said so much.
01:58You're a Punjabi.
02:00Punjabi?
02:02You can come wherever you want.
02:04I came to protect you.
02:06Cut the call.
02:08No, you cut the call.
02:10You cut the call first.
02:12This is a security guard.
02:14If you don't talk, I'll shoot you.
02:16Listen to me.
02:18Leave me.
02:20I'll kill him.
02:22I'll kill him.
02:24You're a big man.
02:26Go away.
02:34You can't love a foreigner like me.
02:36You can't love a foreigner like me.
02:38You can't love a foreigner like me.
02:40Here he is.
02:42He knows our school.
02:46What are you doing here?
02:48He's cutting onions.
02:50He'll tell me.
02:52He's angry.
02:54He's making a mess.
03:00I know Jyoti's school.
03:02I'll pay you Rs.1000.
03:04Rs.1000?
03:06Let him be.
03:08I'll cook for him.
03:10I sent my son to Jyoti English school.
03:12His English is also good.
03:14He knows everything.
03:16I want to go to the school...
03:18...where Reetha Veerji is a security guard.
03:20Reetha Veerji?
03:22They won't let us go there.
03:24They'll beat us at the gate.
03:26We'll never become officers.
03:28We'll never become villagers.
03:30We'll just stand at the gate.
03:32I wish I could do something.
03:34I'll do something today.
03:40Dad.
03:42If we kick her out of the house...
03:44...we'll be in trouble.
03:48Think about it.
03:52No one's going to bail us out.
03:56You're here to testify.
03:58I'm not here to testify.
04:02Do something.
04:04Do something.
04:06Manjeet.
04:08Come downstairs.
04:10I'll call Reetha Veerji.
04:12Let's do something.
04:14The village is big for them.
04:16I'll arrange liquor for them.
04:18Really?
04:20Come.
04:22We can get in with a little help.
04:26Get up. I'll do it.
04:28Go and rest.
04:30Where will we find a chicken at this hour?
04:32The shop won't be open.
04:36Sometimes a shop opens at 8.
04:38I'll do something.
04:42Get up.
04:52Grandpa, come here.
04:56What happened, son?
04:58Grandpa, Titu is missing.
05:00What did you say, son?
05:04Grandpa, Titu is missing.
05:06Where did he go?
05:08Look for yourself.
05:10Come here.
05:12Titu.
05:14Veerji.
05:16Should I get Titu's plate?
05:18Leave it, sister.
05:20If there's anything left, put it in this plate.
05:24There's one piece left.
05:26I don't know if it's a leg or a leg.
05:28I don't want to eat meat.
05:30But I know that chickens have legs.
05:34You eat at someone's house every day.
05:36You should know.
05:38There are only two legs of a chicken.
05:40And you ate only two.
05:42I'll share the third leg with you.
05:44You eat so little.
05:50Have you seen Titu anywhere?
05:54Have you seen him?
05:56Eat it. It's very tasty.
05:58Titu.
06:04Titu.
06:08Don't cry, brother.
06:10I'll come with you tomorrow.
06:12Grandpa.
06:14I'll bring Titu's flowers for you.
06:16I'll file an FIR against you.
06:18Where will you file an FIR?
06:20On the street?
06:22Or at the police station?
06:24I'll file an FIR on your face.
06:26And on you too.
06:28The police station is not a place for a chicken to file an FIR.
06:30But officer can do anything.
06:32He talks nonsense.
06:34Grandpa, I'm sorry.
06:36I'll tell you one thing.
06:38He ate at Reethaveer's house.
06:40Because of Aman's education.
06:42Actually, uncle.
06:44Aman's admission is in Reethaveer's school.
06:46He says that he doesn't want to talk to the villagers.
06:48That's why I brought your Titu.
06:56Eat.
06:58Okay.
07:00Eat, Titu.
07:02Lunch box man.
07:04Yes.
07:06Did you teach Jwag anything else?
07:08Or did you teach the lunch box to eat?
07:10Come, uncle.
07:12I was thinking about it.
07:14What's up, son?
07:16I'm fine.
07:18Which class did you finish?
07:204th.
07:22I was told that the village school is in 5th.
07:24With our Gagan.
07:26That means the village school is in 3rd.
07:28No, the village school is in 5th.
07:30It's a shame.
07:32Your uncle is roaming around here.
07:34He's illiterate.
07:36Let me ask him.
07:38Is it 6th or 4th after 5th?
07:40Maybe you don't know.
07:42Ex-Jwagkas are kept in the last class.
07:44So that they don't get fixed.
07:46So that they don't get fixed.
07:48Are you a Jwag or a lantern?
07:50I'm telling you.
07:52Uncle, have you heard the story of the rabbit and the tortoise?
07:54The rabbit runs as fast as it wants.
07:56The tortoise wins.
07:58What about the tortoise?
08:00The tortoise won.
08:02But you lost your tortoise's bag.
08:04It's okay.
08:06You'll get it back in two years.
08:08Uncle, I want to race.
08:10Okay.
08:12I'll let you race.
08:14I'll get my son in 3rd from 6th.
08:16Son, it's time to go to school.
08:18Take this bag with you.
08:20Take it with the lunch box.
08:22I'll give it to you later.
08:24Let's go, son.
08:26Let's go.
08:28Will you make me proud?
08:30Monday, Pasta.
08:32Creamy or Tomato.
08:34Tuesday, Green Salad.
08:36Wednesday, Vegetable Rice.
08:38Strange.
08:40What will you take to school and what not?
08:42Your schoolmates will tell you.
08:44Do people eat all this?
08:46Yes.
08:48Manjeeta.
08:50We were fine until now.
08:52What will we do when we get married?
08:54I'm hearing these things for the first time.
08:56How will I make them?
09:00Son.
09:02You'll make it.
09:04If I don't take these things with me.
09:06Ma'am will get angry.
09:08Your mother doesn't like
09:10spicy food.
09:12She'll make her favorite things.
09:16God bless you.
09:18God bless you, son.
09:20God bless you.
09:22Learn English.
09:24Study hard, son.
09:28We don't want to learn fake English.
09:30Okay, dad.
09:34We brought Rs. 2.5 lakhs.
09:362.5 lakhs.
09:38Well done.
09:40Are you done?
09:42Let's go to school.
09:44I don't know about the lunch box.
09:46I'll teach them a lesson.
09:52See you.
09:54See you, grandpa.
10:00What's the matter?
10:02Instead of shaking hands,
10:04you shook hands and left.
10:06The school told them not to.
10:08Why? Does the school have any problem with me?
10:10Didn't you tell them?
10:12I'll give them Rs. 2.5 lakhs.
10:14Dad.
10:16In today's world,
10:18instead of shaking hands,
10:20the money we give to the school,
10:22why did they shake hands with us?
10:24Even our son-in-law
10:26didn't shake hands with us.
10:28I'll see you later.
10:30I'll leave now.
10:36I'm going to water the fields.
10:38What are you going to do?
10:40Water the fields.
10:42You ruined the crops.
10:46Dad, he was speaking English.
10:50Where did he go?
11:00Hey.
11:02Open the door.
11:04I'm opening it.
11:06He's a ghost.
11:08Why are you hitting him?
11:14Who is it?
11:16Who is it?
11:18Who is it?
11:20Move.
11:32Let's go.
11:34Hurry up.
11:36I wanted to talk to you.
11:38Yes.
11:40Today,
11:42your mother's spirit
11:44came to our house.
11:49You're too much.
11:51He can come.
11:53It's his house.
11:55He can come whenever he wants.
11:57He came willingly.
11:59But he was roaming around with a man.
12:01Dad.
12:03Don't take it to heart.
12:05After his death,
12:07he also wanted someone to be with him.
12:09The poor girl was roaming around.
12:11That's fine.
12:13But the man should be fine.
12:15Yes.
12:17It's raining cats and dogs today.
12:19It won't stop.
12:21The electricity will be okay today.
12:23My son
12:25is going to America.
12:27Yes.
12:29There's a place called NASA.
12:31Scientists go to the moon from there.
12:33Really?
12:35Yes.
12:37It's an expensive school.
12:39He'll go to America for 2.5 lakhs.
12:41Dad, take this.
12:43He'll pay for the ticket as well.
12:45I'll give 3 lakhs more
12:47to the school.
12:533 lakhs, son?
12:55Yes.
12:57Buggy.
12:59We don't have that much money.
13:01We came to the mosque earlier.
13:03Dad, all my school friends
13:05have left.
13:07If I don't go,
13:09they'll stop me from studying.
13:11I think
13:13it's okay.
13:15I'll send mom.
13:17I'll make a living.
13:19How much more will it be okay?
13:21I think we should
13:23return the money we gave to the school.
13:25I don't know
13:27if I'll study or not.
13:29It's my role.
13:31Why do you say that?
13:33We'll see
13:35what happens.
13:39How many of you
13:41will go to America?
13:43First tell me, how much does one person
13:45pay for going to America?
13:473.5 lakhs.
13:49That's too much.
13:51Then why go to America?
13:53Let's go to London.
13:55We earned 3.5 lakhs
13:57at home.
14:07What happened?
14:11Where's dad?
14:13Don't talk nonsense.
14:15Take this.
14:17Take it.
14:19Put it in your pocket.
14:21What are you doing?
14:25Aman is going to America.
14:27We're saving money.
14:31We're helping the villagers.
14:35We're helping the villagers.
14:37Aman is going to America.
14:41We're helping the villagers.
14:43Aman is going to America.
14:45Aman is going to America.
14:47Who can send someone to America?
14:49That's too much.
14:51Listen to me.
14:53Send me to America.
14:55Take care of your husband.
14:57Take this.
14:59We'll send our son to America
15:01if we have money.
15:03Otherwise, it's okay.
15:05God bless you all.
15:07Uncle, thank you so much.
15:09He's right.
15:11There should be an educated man
15:13in the family.
15:15The whole world knew.
15:17Thank God you found out
15:19that I'm educated.
15:21I'll tell everyone
15:23that my brother used to run a tank.
15:27But I don't understand
15:29one thing.
15:31Why didn't you tell me
15:33about the cauliflower?
15:35Have you gone mad?
15:37How many times do I have to tell you?
15:39There was a vegetable market in our village.
15:41I sold a cauliflower
15:43from my army mess.
15:45That's how I became a cauliflower thief.