Sitting Pretty (1948) Full Movie | Robert Young, Maureen O'Hara, Clifton Webb
Synopsis: A family that hires a live-in babysitter is surprised when he turns out to be a man who's a quirky genius.
Genre: Comedy
Director: Walter Lang
Top cast: Robert Young, Maureen O'Hara, Clifton Webb, Richard Haydn, Louise Allbritton, Randy Stuart, Ed Begley
Genre: Comedy
Director: Walter Lang
Top cast: Robert Young, Maureen O'Hara, Clifton Webb, Richard Haydn, Louise Allbritton, Randy Stuart, Ed Begley
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Everybody loves a baby, and it might as well be you, pretty baby.
00:00:27Pretty baby, pretty baby.
00:00:57I'd like to be your sister, brother, dad and mother too, pretty baby.
00:01:12Pretty baby.
00:01:42Hey! Hey, you!
00:01:59Hey, come here a minute, will you?
00:02:02Were you addressing me?
00:02:03Yeah. Is this Humminbird Hill up here?
00:02:06That is the name of this community, yes.
00:02:08I'm trying to find 21 Carver's Lane. They phoned for a cab.
00:02:11Oh, someone going away?
00:02:14Well, how would I know? They want a cab, that's all. You know where it is?
00:02:17I do. You continue on and turn left into the first street, and this is the fourth house on the right.
00:02:22Thanks, buddy.
00:02:23You are entirely welcome.
00:02:30Hey, you mind telling me what you're doing with that feather?
00:02:32I am cross-pollinating a specimen of the family Eretesia.
00:02:37Come again?
00:02:38I am trying to develop a new strain of iris. I breed them.
00:02:42No kidding? You mean like some guys breed Cocker Spaniels?
00:02:46The principle, believe it or not, is identical.
00:02:55Clarence!
00:02:56Yes, Mother?
00:02:57What did that taxi man want?
00:02:59He's looking for 21 Carver's Lane, Mother.
00:03:02What on earth do the Harry Kings need a cab for?
00:03:05I don't know, Mother.
00:03:07Well, why didn't you ask him?
00:03:09I did, but he doesn't know either, Mother.
00:03:12Oh, you never find out anything.
00:03:17Better drink it now before it gets cold.
00:03:19Never mind the milk. Wheel me over to that other window. Quickly.
00:03:26Careful, now. Hurry, hurry.
00:03:51Henry, come back here! Henry, come back here!
00:03:58Hey, get this dog off of me! Get him off!
00:04:02He's a watchdog. He's supposed to bite strangers.
00:04:05It's all right, you and her. Just come on, Henry.
00:04:08What's the matter? Don't you like dogs?
00:04:13Yes? Roddy, will you please stop crying?
00:04:17He sent for a cab, lady.
00:04:19I'm afraid you've come to the wrong house. I didn't phone for a cab.
00:04:22Roddy, will you please stop?
00:04:24Well, this is number 21. Somebody from here phoned for a cab.
00:04:27I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake.
00:04:29There's no mistake, Mrs. King. I phoned for a cab.
00:04:34Really, Mrs. Maypole, I don't quite understand.
00:04:37There's nothing to understand. I'm quitting, that's all, and right now.
00:04:40But you can't. You just can't walk out without...
00:04:42That's what you think.
00:04:43What, I should put him in the cab?
00:04:45Yes, you can get by them kids and that awful dog without getting them smashed.
00:04:48Now, Mrs. Maypole, I don't know what's upset you...
00:04:50Oh, you don't, huh? Well, I'll tell you.
00:04:53It's them three kids of yours that's upset me and that horrible dog.
00:04:56Upset me? They've driven me nuts.
00:04:59I'll never take another job again anywhere where they have kids or pets to help me.
00:05:03We had three children and a dog, Mrs. Maypole, when you came.
00:05:06We didn't spring them on you unexpectedly.
00:05:08I know. I should have my head examined.
00:05:11Good day, Mrs. King. Mail me them two days I got coming.
00:05:19Don't worry, Mom. She was a pain in the neck.
00:05:23She couldn't cook good either. You're a much better cook, Mom.
00:05:37Hello.
00:05:38Oh, good morning, Mrs. King. Just a moment, please.
00:05:42Your wife, Mr. King, on two.
00:05:44Fine.
00:05:48Hello, honey. Say, Mr. Hammond wants us to...
00:05:52What?
00:05:54She didn't.
00:05:56Why, the old bag. The maid quit.
00:05:59It's just Bill. It's all right. You can talk.
00:06:02What?
00:06:03I said, in a way, I'm glad to get rid of her.
00:06:06All she did was guzzle beer all day.
00:06:09What? Tonight?
00:06:12But how can we? Who'll stay with the children?
00:06:15Well, you'll just have to get a babysitter.
00:06:18I've told you, Mr. Hammond wants you and me and Bill and Edna to come for dinner tonight.
00:06:22I don't know...
00:06:24Yes!
00:06:25Tell her Edna raised a stake, too.
00:06:27But she's going to find a sitter or else.
00:06:30But...
00:06:32Honey, I can't argue with you now. I'm due in court. I'll see you later.
00:06:36And start phoning sitters.
00:06:38Well, okay. I'll try.
00:06:41Bye.
00:06:48Oh, Roddy, for heaven's sake!
00:07:18Hi, Pop! Hi!
00:07:20Hiya, fellas.
00:07:24Henry, get off of me! Get off!
00:07:28Get away!
00:07:32Hot enough for you, Pop?
00:07:33Can't you kids train that big ox not to jump on people?
00:07:36He's glad to see you.
00:07:37Oh, he's glad to see me.
00:07:39He's glad to see me.
00:07:40He's glad to see me.
00:07:41He's glad to see me.
00:07:42He's glad to see me.
00:07:43He's glad to see me.
00:07:44He's glad to see me.
00:07:45He's glad to see me.
00:07:46He's glad to see you.
00:07:47Oh, he's glad to see everybody.
00:07:49What you got?
00:07:50Ice cream.
00:07:51Oh, boy!
00:07:52That's super!
00:07:55Henry, leave that cat alone!
00:07:57Henry!
00:07:58Henry!
00:07:59Henry, come back here!
00:08:00Henry!
00:08:01Come back here!
00:08:04Hi.
00:08:05Hello, kiddo.
00:08:07I bring you the stuff like you say.
00:08:09Strawberry ice cream, chocolate cookies, ginger ale, cottage cheese, okay?
00:08:15Thanks, honey.
00:08:16Say, lady, before your husband comes home, how about a little kiss, huh?
00:08:25You picked a fine time to be funny.
00:08:27Oh, don't worry, honey.
00:08:28You'll find another maid.
00:08:30No, I'm not even going to try.
00:08:32Love Maypole was a horrible extravagance.
00:08:34We just can't afford a maid right now, you know that.
00:08:37Unless, of course, you got that raise.
00:08:40Did you?
00:08:42No.
00:08:43But being invited to the boss's house for dinner is a hopeful sign.
00:08:47Who'd you get for a sitter?
00:08:49I didn't.
00:08:50And I phoned at least 15 of the little darlings.
00:08:52Oh, well, we've still got time.
00:08:54I'll get busy on it while you feed the kids.
00:08:56Hope you have better luck than I did.
00:08:59Hello?
00:09:00May I speak with Dorothy, please?
00:09:04Oh, I see.
00:09:07Thank you.
00:09:09Well, the kids are put away for the night, thank goodness.
00:09:13It's so silly dressing to go over there.
00:09:15Just the six of us.
00:09:17The Hammonds always dress for dinner.
00:09:19They would.
00:09:22You might as well give up.
00:09:23You're not going to get anybody at this hour.
00:09:25Shh.
00:09:27Hello?
00:09:29Hello, Agnes.
00:09:30So glad I caught you in.
00:09:33Now, there's Mr. King.
00:09:34I was just wondering if you...
00:09:37Oh, I see.
00:09:39Well, can't you go bowling some other night?
00:09:42Oh, no, sure, I understand.
00:09:45Goodbye.
00:09:49Don't you think you'd just better call Mr. Hammond
00:09:51and say that you can't get anybody?
00:09:53And get fired for disobeying the royal command?
00:09:55And why not?
00:09:57The sooner you start out on your own
00:09:58and stop letting Mr. Hammond kick you around,
00:10:01the better I like it.
00:10:03Look, my love, for the last time,
00:10:05there's more to starting a law practice
00:10:07than just hanging out a shingle.
00:10:09You have to make contacts.
00:10:10Take it by degrees.
00:10:12The only way you can do that
00:10:13is with an established outfit.
00:10:15You know I'm right, don't you?
00:10:17I know you're a lot smarter
00:10:18than Mr. Hammond thinks you are.
00:10:20Thank you.
00:10:21Oh, what about that old duck
00:10:22we had a couple of months ago?
00:10:23The one with the wart on her nose?
00:10:25Too late, darling.
00:10:26Edna got her.
00:10:28Oh.
00:10:30Hello, is this Mrs. Phillips?
00:10:32Good evening.
00:10:33This is Mr. King.
00:10:35Could I talk to Mabel, please?
00:10:37You see, she's in.
00:10:38Oh, Mabel!
00:10:40Yes, Mother?
00:10:44Mr. King on the phone.
00:10:45I guess he wants you to sit with his kids.
00:10:47Not me.
00:10:48Not while I'm conscious.
00:10:49Not those kids.
00:10:51Tell him I dropped dead.
00:10:55Hello?
00:10:56Yes, I heard, Mrs. Phillips.
00:10:58She just dropped dead.
00:11:02Fresh out of names, dear,
00:11:03or fresh out of charm?
00:11:08Well, we can always try Ginger.
00:11:10Oh, no, you don't.
00:11:11Why?
00:11:12What's wrong with Ginger?
00:11:13Well, in the first place,
00:11:14she's a nitwit,
00:11:15and in the second place,
00:11:16she's got a silly, idiotic crush on you.
00:11:19Oh, stop it, will you?
00:11:21Don't act so innocent.
00:11:23The last time she was here,
00:11:24she tried to hold hands with you
00:11:25right under my very nose.
00:11:27Can I help it
00:11:28if I'm irresistible to women?
00:11:30Of course not, dear.
00:11:32Well, okay.
00:11:35Oh, all right.
00:11:36Go ahead and call her.
00:11:38Personally, I think
00:11:39you've got a crush on her.
00:11:41A child of 16?
00:11:57Gosh, Mr. King,
00:11:58I'm so glad you called.
00:12:00I just adore sitting
00:12:01with those darling children.
00:12:03Good, and that's a break for us.
00:12:05Well, I had several other calls
00:12:06tonight to sit,
00:12:07but I turned them all down
00:12:09because I just hoped and prayed
00:12:10that you would call.
00:12:13Gosh, you look so sharp
00:12:14in your tux.
00:12:16Gosh.
00:12:19I just did a new paint job
00:12:20on my nails.
00:12:21Like them, Mr. King?
00:12:23Yes, fine.
00:12:25I'm using a new perfume, too.
00:12:27It's called Nuit d'amour.
00:12:29That's French.
00:12:30Oh.
00:12:31It means night of love.
00:12:35Yes, keen.
00:12:40Well, good night, Ginger.
00:12:41The children are all sound asleep.
00:12:43But if you should need me,
00:12:44I left the Hammond's phone number
00:12:45there on the desk.
00:12:46Oh, yes.
00:12:47Here it is, Ginger.
00:12:48Oh, thank you, Mr. King.
00:12:50Have a nice time.
00:12:52Yes, Ginger.
00:12:53We will.
00:12:56You don't mind if I make
00:12:57a few phone calls, do you?
00:12:58A person gets so bored
00:12:59just sitting.
00:13:00All right, Ginger,
00:13:01but please don't stay on the phone
00:13:03all the time.
00:13:04And remember that the children
00:13:05are asleep.
00:13:06I will.
00:13:07Good night, Ginger.
00:13:08Good night.
00:13:13She's so cute.
00:13:15Are you quite sure you wouldn't
00:13:16like to stay home
00:13:17and sit with her, dear?
00:13:24Well, what brought that on?
00:13:27It's that perfume of Ginger's.
00:13:29Brings out the beast in me.
00:13:30Oh, stop.
00:13:33Five and six, eleven.
00:13:35Carry one.
00:13:37And eight.
00:13:38We'd have a little more gin
00:13:39this evening and less rummy.
00:13:40Yes, it wouldn't have been
00:13:41quite so gruesome.
00:13:43Why, Edna, how you talk.
00:13:45We ought to be honored
00:13:46that the Hammond's invited us over.
00:13:48Pipe down, will you?
00:13:50You two broke even,
00:13:51but the Hammond's lost
00:13:52$5.20 to us.
00:13:54Lost?
00:13:55Look here, pal.
00:13:56The Hammond's had better win.
00:13:58That is, if you expect
00:13:59to get that raise.
00:14:02And so I said to the woman,
00:14:04you couldn't possibly find
00:14:05a better lawyer than Mr. Hammond.
00:14:07Well, Harry, figure the score.
00:14:09What's the bad news?
00:14:10Good news, sir.
00:14:11You and Mrs. Hammond
00:14:12are the only winners.
00:14:13$5.20.
00:14:14Aha, you see,
00:14:15concentration and memory.
00:14:17Qualities which you two
00:14:18young fellas would do well
00:14:19to acquire.
00:14:20Yes, sir.
00:14:21You won $1.20 from us
00:14:22and $4 from the Philbys.
00:14:25Good, good.
00:14:26I should say it is.
00:14:27We never win.
00:14:30Why, who on earth
00:14:31could that be at this hour?
00:14:32I'll go, dear.
00:14:34You take cream and sugar,
00:14:35don't you, Tacey?
00:14:36No, black.
00:14:41How do you do, Horatio?
00:14:42Why, hello, Clarence.
00:14:43Come in, come in.
00:14:44In fact, this is rather late
00:14:45for a social call,
00:14:46but I found a letter
00:14:47in my mailbox
00:14:48intended for you, Horatio.
00:14:50And as I happened to be passing,
00:14:51I thought,
00:14:52good evening, Martha.
00:14:53Hello, Clarence.
00:14:54How do you do?
00:14:55Good evening.
00:14:56Ah, here we are.
00:14:57I cannot think
00:14:58how the mailman
00:14:59could have been so careless.
00:15:00Oh, I'm very sorry,
00:15:01but I'm afraid I opened it
00:15:02before I realized.
00:15:03Of course, I didn't read it.
00:15:05Thank you, Clarence.
00:15:06Anything important, dear?
00:15:07No, no, just a circular.
00:15:09Won't you join us
00:15:10in a cup of coffee, Clarence,
00:15:11and a sandwich?
00:15:12Oh, do.
00:15:13There's more than a plenty.
00:15:14Well, I really should be
00:15:15getting back to mother,
00:15:16but perhaps I could stay
00:15:17for just a snack.
00:15:18Of course you can.
00:15:19She'll be all right.
00:15:20You take sugar,
00:15:21don't you, Clara?
00:15:22Three lumps, please.
00:15:24How are all the little irises
00:15:25coming along, Mr. Appleton?
00:15:28I must confess,
00:15:29I'm quite surprised
00:15:30to find you and your wife
00:15:31here, Mr. King.
00:15:33Why?
00:15:34I just strolled past your house,
00:15:35and I felt sure
00:15:36you would be at your
00:15:37own party.
00:15:39Party?
00:15:40Not at our house.
00:15:41Oh, yes, indeed.
00:15:42The house was blazing
00:15:43with lights,
00:15:44and I could hear the music
00:15:45halfway down the block.
00:15:46And as I went by,
00:15:47I saw your guests dancing.
00:15:51You and your ginger.
00:15:55Come on.
00:16:13Oh, hello.
00:16:18We, uh...
00:16:19We didn't think
00:16:20you'd be back so soon.
00:16:21So it appears.
00:16:22Hi, Pop.
00:16:24We've been watching them dance.
00:16:27You kids run upstairs to bed.
00:16:28Go ahead.
00:16:29Hurry up.
00:16:30The idea,
00:16:31letting the baby out of bed
00:16:32at this hour.
00:16:33Are you out of your mind?
00:16:34Gosh, Mrs. King,
00:16:35I hope you're not sore
00:16:36just because I invited
00:16:37a few friends.
00:16:38Golly, a person
00:16:39go absolutely mad
00:16:40with nothing to do but sit.
00:16:41If I were your mother,
00:16:42which heaven forbid,
00:16:43I'd make it extremely painful
00:16:44for you to sit
00:16:45for the next few days.
00:16:48Look, Ginger,
00:16:49I think you'd better
00:16:50have your friends...
00:16:51Gosh, Mr. King,
00:16:52I feel so sorry for you.
00:16:54She has a terrible disposition,
00:16:56hasn't she?
00:17:20Well?
00:17:21What do you want?
00:17:22Good morning, Mr. Taylor.
00:17:24I was just admiring
00:17:25your bed of black iris.
00:17:26You keep away from my iris.
00:17:28I haven't forgotten yet
00:17:29what you said about me
00:17:30and that girl from the florist shop.
00:17:31I merely said...
00:17:32Just merely.
00:17:33Keep your mouth shut.
00:17:35Well.
00:17:45Oh, good morning,
00:17:46Mr. MacPherson.
00:17:48Must have been quite a party
00:17:49you had last night.
00:17:50Would you like a list
00:17:51of the guests who got cockeyed,
00:17:52or have you already got it?
00:17:54There's no need to be unpleasant.
00:17:55I merely made
00:17:56a friendly observation.
00:17:57Well, make it someplace else.
00:18:16Henry!
00:18:17Henry!
00:18:21Why are you tickling that flower?
00:18:23Yeah, why?
00:18:24I am not tickling it, little boy.
00:18:26I am gathering...
00:18:28Just run along
00:18:29and don't bother me.
00:18:30I have your mother's permission.
00:18:31We won't bother you.
00:18:32Tell us what you're doing.
00:18:34Have you boys ever watched
00:18:35a bumblebee flitting
00:18:36from flower to flower?
00:18:37Sure.
00:18:38Well, I am doing
00:18:39just what the bumblebee does.
00:18:41Gosh.
00:18:42Can you sting, too?
00:18:44Run away and play.
00:18:47Violet?
00:18:48Isn't upstairs?
00:18:49Oh, what did I do
00:18:50with that thing?
00:18:51Oh, there it is.
00:18:59What the devil is he doing?
00:19:01Seems we have
00:19:02a very healthy male, Iris.
00:19:04And he asked if he could
00:19:05have some pollen
00:19:06so he could breed it
00:19:07to one of his.
00:19:09Well, I'll charge him
00:19:10a stud fee.
00:19:11Goodbye, Henry.
00:19:14Oh, good morning, John.
00:19:16Good morning.
00:19:17I'm going in.
00:19:18I'll save you a trip.
00:19:19Oh, okay.
00:19:22Anything interesting,
00:19:23Mr. Appleton?
00:19:24Oh, good morning,
00:19:25Mr. and Mrs. King.
00:19:26The mailman asked me
00:19:27to hand these to you.
00:19:29Thank you.
00:19:30Did you get all the pollen
00:19:32you needed?
00:19:33Why, yes.
00:19:34I believe it may produce
00:19:35a fascinating hybrid.
00:19:36Glad to hear it.
00:19:37Well, goodbye, Mr. King.
00:19:38Don't forget,
00:19:39we're entitled
00:19:40to the pick of the litter.
00:19:43Harry, come here quick.
00:19:44I've got an answer.
00:19:45Answer to what?
00:19:46My ad.
00:19:47Huh?
00:19:48Darling, I didn't want
00:19:49to tell you,
00:19:50but after that ginger episode,
00:19:51I put an ad
00:19:52in the Saturday Review
00:19:53and I've got
00:19:54a wonderful answer.
00:19:55An ad for what?
00:19:56A babysitter, darling.
00:19:57A resident babysitter.
00:19:58Oh, you're crazy.
00:19:59I knew you'd say that.
00:20:00That's why I didn't tell you.
00:20:01Listen to what I put in.
00:20:02Somewhere there must be
00:20:03a struggling young person
00:20:04who would welcome
00:20:05a delightful room,
00:20:06private bath,
00:20:07full board,
00:20:08in exchange for sitting
00:20:09with three adorable children
00:20:10evenings and some
00:20:11light housework.
00:20:12Congenial,
00:20:13cultured atmosphere.
00:20:14Rightfully,
00:20:15box 2301.
00:20:17Aren't you stretching
00:20:18things a bit,
00:20:19calling our three adorable?
00:20:20Well, anyway,
00:20:21it seems to have
00:20:22snared her.
00:20:23This is her answer.
00:20:24Dear sir or madam,
00:20:25if not too late,
00:20:26I wish to apply
00:20:27for the position
00:20:28you advertised.
00:20:29I am engaged
00:20:30in a form of work
00:20:31which makes me indifferent
00:20:32to my surroundings,
00:20:33providing I have
00:20:34a place in which
00:20:35I can find solitude.
00:20:36I have studied psychology
00:20:37and am perfectly competent
00:20:38to handle children
00:20:39of all ages
00:20:40with efficiency and dispatch.
00:20:43Yours sincerely,
00:20:44Lynn Belvedere.
00:20:45Don't you think
00:20:46she sounds marvelous?
00:20:48Well, she writes
00:20:49a short business-like letter,
00:20:50yes, but what do
00:20:51we know about her?
00:20:52Well, anyway,
00:20:53I'm going to follow this up.
00:20:54Okay, go ahead.
00:20:55What can you lose?
00:20:57See you tonight.
00:20:58Bye, honey.
00:21:12That looks good.
00:21:14Quit that.
00:21:15Did you get it out?
00:21:16Sure, it hardly shows now.
00:21:18If you kids let that dog
00:21:19in this house again,
00:21:20I'll wallop both of you.
00:21:21Okay, okay.
00:21:25Stacy?
00:21:31Hey, where is everybody?
00:21:33We're up in the maid's room.
00:21:34Come on up.
00:21:36I can't.
00:21:37There's a chair in the way.
00:21:38I know.
00:21:39It's stuck.
00:21:40Don't be so helpless.
00:21:41Climb over it.
00:21:46Tony, will you leave
00:21:47that alone?
00:21:49Look, boys,
00:21:50will you go downstairs
00:21:51and bring me up that thing
00:21:52I told you?
00:21:53Okay.
00:21:54Hi.
00:21:55Hello.
00:21:56Hi, Pop.
00:21:57Hello.
00:21:58Hello, darling.
00:21:59Hi.
00:22:00Did you have a nice earthquake?
00:22:01Oh, we've been as busy
00:22:02as little beavers.
00:22:03Mm-hmm.
00:22:04Isn't it wonderful?
00:22:05She's coming.
00:22:06Who?
00:22:07Miss Belvedere.
00:22:08Huh?
00:22:09Miss Belvedere.
00:22:10Who?
00:22:11Miss Belvedere.
00:22:12Who?
00:22:13Miss Belvedere.
00:22:14Huh?
00:22:15The babysitter
00:22:16who wrote this morning.
00:22:17I decided not to waste
00:22:18another moment,
00:22:19so I sent her
00:22:20a long straight wire
00:22:21giving her all the dope,
00:22:22and she wired back,
00:22:23and I wired again,
00:22:24and this is what I got.
00:22:25Conditions acceptable
00:22:26arriving 9.35 tonight,
00:22:28Union Depot,
00:22:29Lynn Belvedere.
00:22:30Hey, Mom.
00:22:31Pop,
00:22:32give us a hand.
00:22:33Come on, make yourself useful.
00:22:34Hurry up.
00:22:35This thing's heavy.
00:22:36Mine too.
00:22:39All right, boys,
00:22:40put them down
00:22:41until Daddy moves the chair.
00:22:42Do you mind telling Daddy
00:22:43where his favorite
00:22:44chair is going?
00:22:45Well, darling,
00:22:46she does have to have
00:22:47something comfortable
00:22:48to sit on.
00:22:49And you're taking Nero up
00:22:50so she'll have
00:22:51an intellectual to talk to.
00:22:52Right.
00:22:53In my ad,
00:22:54I said that ours
00:22:55was a cultured,
00:22:56educated background.
00:22:57It won't do the girl
00:22:58any harm to find out
00:22:59that at least I
00:23:00used to be a sculptor.
00:23:01Yes, dear.
00:23:02Besides,
00:23:03that'll take the curse
00:23:04off my being a low,
00:23:05uncouth,
00:23:06struggling attorney.
00:23:07Mm-hmm.
00:23:08But you are struggling
00:23:09very intelligently
00:23:10right now.
00:23:11It won't work, darling.
00:23:12I tried it for hours.
00:23:14Stop giving orders
00:23:15and push.
00:23:16I'll get this thing
00:23:17out of here.
00:23:18You kids get back
00:23:19out of the way.
00:23:20Go on.
00:23:21Now,
00:23:22one great big push.
00:23:23Oh!
00:23:24Oh!
00:23:25Hey!
00:23:26Do something, will you?
00:23:31I can't imagine
00:23:32what's keeping them.
00:23:33Well, maybe the train
00:23:34was late.
00:23:35They usually are.
00:23:36Edna, would you pick
00:23:37those cushions up for me?
00:23:38I told those kids
00:23:40Hello?
00:23:41Oh, Bill, it's you.
00:23:42Yeah, she's here.
00:23:43Edna, it's Bill.
00:23:44Oh.
00:23:45Hello, sweetie.
00:23:46No,
00:23:47no sign of them yet.
00:23:48We're beginning to suspect
00:23:49that Harry took her
00:23:50to a cocktail bar
00:23:51to get her plastered first.
00:23:52Well, don't stay
00:23:53over there too late.
00:23:54I have to get an early
00:23:55start in the morning.
00:23:56Yes, I'll be home
00:23:57the minute she arrives
00:23:58with a blow-by-blow
00:23:59description.
00:24:00Goodbye.
00:24:01Oh, maybe that's them.
00:24:02But it could be
00:24:03one of those
00:24:04old-fashioned
00:24:05old-fashioned
00:24:07Oh, maybe that's them.
00:24:08But it can't be.
00:24:10Harry's got his key.
00:24:15Yes?
00:24:16Mrs. King?
00:24:17Mrs. Harry King?
00:24:18Yes.
00:24:19Good evening.
00:24:20I am Lin Belvedere.
00:24:23You're
00:24:24who?
00:24:25Lin Belvedere.
00:24:28But
00:24:30but you can't be.
00:24:31Why not?
00:24:32Have you ever seen me before?
00:24:34No.
00:24:35No, of course I haven't.
00:24:36Very well, then.
00:24:41How do you do?
00:24:42Edna,
00:24:43this man claims
00:24:44that he's Lin Belvedere.
00:24:45No.
00:24:46Edna, please.
00:24:48I'm sorry.
00:24:49This is my friend,
00:24:50Mrs. Philby.
00:24:51Oh, she doesn't live here.
00:24:53Delighted.
00:24:55This is quite a shock,
00:24:56you see.
00:24:57Well,
00:24:58we weren't expecting a...
00:25:01Well, I
00:25:02naturally thought
00:25:03you were a woman.
00:25:04You know.
00:25:05Your advertisement
00:25:06of which I have a copy here
00:25:08made no mention of sex.
00:25:10Possibly not,
00:25:11but it was obviously implied.
00:25:13I advertise for someone
00:25:14to help with the housework
00:25:15and sit with my children.
00:25:17Mrs. King,
00:25:18I happen to dislike
00:25:19all children intensely,
00:25:21but I assure you
00:25:22that I can readily attend
00:25:23to their necessary,
00:25:24though unpleasant, wants.
00:25:30Sorry.
00:25:31I've just had a long
00:25:32and very trying journey
00:25:33in a day coach.
00:25:34May I see my room?
00:25:38Well, I...
00:25:40Now, look here,
00:25:41Mr. Belvedere.
00:25:42You're obviously here
00:25:43under false pretenses.
00:25:44To the contrary.
00:25:45If some young female
00:25:46arrived calling herself
00:25:47Lin Belvedere,
00:25:48she would be here
00:25:49under false pretenses.
00:25:50May I please
00:25:51see my room?
00:25:52But...
00:25:53But my husband isn't home yet
00:25:54and I don't want...
00:25:55That, if I may say so,
00:25:56is a matter of complete
00:25:57indifference to me.
00:25:58I take it that you are not
00:25:59retaining my services
00:26:00to sit with him.
00:26:01Now,
00:26:02may I see my room?
00:26:04Why,
00:26:05well,
00:26:06I guess so.
00:26:09Oh,
00:26:10it's upstairs.
00:26:12Good evening.
00:26:20Oh, boys,
00:26:21what are you doing up?
00:26:22Now,
00:26:23now go back to sleep.
00:26:24Is he a babysitter?
00:26:25Gee whiz.
00:26:27Never mind now.
00:26:28Go to bed.
00:26:30Oh,
00:26:31these are my sons,
00:26:32Larry and Tony,
00:26:34and the baby's asleep.
00:26:36Mom,
00:26:37why is it a man?
00:26:40You see, Mr. Belvedere,
00:26:41they also thought
00:26:42that you were going to be,
00:26:44well, anyway,
00:26:45they seem to be
00:26:46quite fascinated by you.
00:26:48The fascination,
00:26:49I assure you,
00:26:50is not mutual.
00:26:51Which way, please?
00:26:54Go to bed.
00:27:01Gee whiz.
00:27:08We, uh,
00:27:09tried to fix it up
00:27:10as nicely as we could.
00:27:11I,
00:27:12I hope you like it.
00:27:16After the obvious eliminations
00:27:17have been made,
00:27:18I believe it will be
00:27:19entirely satisfactory.
00:27:22For my work,
00:27:23I require an atmosphere
00:27:24of spartan simplicity.
00:27:26And may I ask
00:27:27what your profession is?
00:27:29Certainly.
00:27:30I am a genius.
00:27:37Satisfactory?
00:27:38Eminently,
00:27:39as far as I can judge.
00:27:42At the moment,
00:27:43I am a doctor.
00:27:44I am a doctor.
00:27:45I am a doctor.
00:27:46I am a doctor.
00:27:47I am a doctor.
00:27:48I am a doctor.
00:27:49I am a doctor.
00:27:50At the moment.
00:27:55With this exception.
00:27:58I'll change it.
00:28:10Oh, brother.
00:28:12What am I going to do?
00:28:15Oh, it's Harry.
00:28:18Oh,
00:28:19hello, dear.
00:28:20You back?
00:28:21Back?
00:28:22You and your cockeyed classified ad.
00:28:24She never even showed up.
00:28:25I hung her on the station
00:28:26till a porter practically
00:28:27threw me out.
00:28:28Darling,
00:28:29I've got something to tell you.
00:28:33While you were gone.
00:28:34What's so funny?
00:28:36Go on, tell them.
00:28:39Tell them.
00:28:40What?
00:28:43I'm afraid to.
00:28:44He's killing me.
00:28:45Oh, shut up.
00:28:46You see,
00:28:47before I retire for the night,
00:28:48may I inquire
00:28:49what time you serve breakfast?
00:28:54About 7.30,
00:28:56usually.
00:28:57Thank you.
00:28:58Perhaps I should tell you
00:28:59I'm a vegetarian.
00:29:01I like fruit juice, coffee,
00:29:02and thinly sliced gluten bread
00:29:04toasted.
00:29:06I'll try to remember.
00:29:09Thank you.
00:29:10Good night.
00:29:13Who in the heck was that?
00:29:15That, darling,
00:29:16is Lynn Belvedere.
00:29:18Huh?
00:29:27Now, Larry,
00:29:28that's enough sugar.
00:29:29Oh, Mom.
00:29:30Do you want to get another toothache?
00:29:33Harry,
00:29:34will you please put down
00:29:35that paper and talk to me?
00:29:37What are we going to do
00:29:38about Mr. Belvedere?
00:29:40Very simple.
00:29:41As soon as he deigns
00:29:42to join us for breakfast,
00:29:43I'm going to kick him out
00:29:44right on his ear.
00:29:45I guess you're right.
00:29:47But you'll have to tell him.
00:29:48He scares me.
00:29:50I think he's kind of cute.
00:29:52Me too.
00:29:53Well, I don't.
00:29:54And genius or no genius,
00:29:56I'm going up and telling him
00:29:57to get down here to breakfast.
00:29:58I'll go with you.
00:29:59Now, you boys sit down
00:30:00and finish your breakfast.
00:30:10Ronnie,
00:30:11you're crying out loud.
00:30:14Okay.
00:30:21Well, he's got a nerve.
00:30:23Well, what's the difference?
00:30:24He's going anyway.
00:30:31It's not a sound.
00:30:32He's probably still asleep.
00:30:35Mr. Belvedere.
00:30:38Maybe he's gone.
00:30:40I hope so.
00:30:42I hope so.
00:30:57Good morning.
00:30:59Oh,
00:31:00we're sorry to dash in on you like this,
00:31:02but we did knock.
00:31:04I don't doubt it, Mrs. King.
00:31:06When I practice my yoga,
00:31:07I'm completely out of this world.
00:31:08I neither see nor hear a thing.
00:31:10I take it breakfast is ready?
00:31:12Yes.
00:31:13And the sooner you come down,
00:31:14the sooner we can...
00:31:15I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. King.
00:31:18Now, look here, you.
00:31:21I'm not...
00:31:23It's no use, dear.
00:31:24He's out of this world.
00:31:25He told you.
00:31:26Oh, that's so silly.
00:31:30I never heard of such a thing.
00:31:35Weird.
00:31:40Don't do that, little boy.
00:31:44Leave Mr. Belvedere alone, darling.
00:31:47You should be flattered.
00:31:49He hates strangers as a rule.
00:31:54Now, look here, Mr. Belvedere.
00:31:55A joke is a joke,
00:31:56but this can't go on.
00:31:59And why not, Mr. King?
00:32:01I am perfectly willing
00:32:02to carry out my end of our agreement.
00:32:03I see no reason
00:32:04why you should default on yours.
00:32:06But it's obviously impossible.
00:32:07You couldn't do the things we require.
00:32:09For instance,
00:32:10could you bathe Roddy?
00:32:12For many years,
00:32:13I have successfully bathed
00:32:14individuals of all ages and sexes,
00:32:16and I've never had any complaints.
00:32:23Don't do that again.
00:32:25That's enough, Roddy.
00:32:26Now, stop it, stop it.
00:32:28My wife tells me that
00:32:30you're a genius.
00:32:32That is correct.
00:32:35Well, if I'm not too inquisitive,
00:32:37do you mind telling me
00:32:38what form it takes?
00:32:40I am, in my way, a philosopher.
00:32:43Oh, I see.
00:32:44You just sit and think.
00:32:49Mr. King,
00:32:50if more people just sat and thought,
00:32:52the world might not be
00:32:53in the stinking mess that it is.
00:32:56Well, maybe you've got something there.
00:32:58But, uh, Mr. Belvedere,
00:33:00can you really handle children?
00:33:02Amen.
00:33:04Mrs. King,
00:33:05as I told you last night,
00:33:06I dislike children intensely,
00:33:07and yours, if I may say so,
00:33:08have peculiarly repulsive habits and manners.
00:33:11However, I assure you
00:33:12that I can cope with them successfully,
00:33:14given a free hand.
00:33:16Gesundheit.
00:33:18Now, I'd better get out of the office.
00:33:20Go on, kids, I'll see you tonight.
00:33:22Bye, Pop.
00:33:23Bye.
00:33:24Walk out the car, anyway.
00:33:26Excuse me.
00:33:27Certainly.
00:33:30You will remain seated.
00:33:35Now, eat your breakfast.
00:33:36And chew each mouthful 28 times.
00:33:39Not 20, mind you, or 26,
00:33:42but 28 times.
00:33:53Well, I don't know.
00:33:54What do you think?
00:33:55Should we give the guy a whirl for a day or two?
00:33:58We can try.
00:33:59At least the children seem to like him.
00:34:06What's the matter? What happened?
00:34:08Why, what?
00:34:09Mrs. King, throughout this grisly meal,
00:34:12your son has been pelting me with cereal.
00:34:15I have taught him an object lesson,
00:34:16and as you will observe, he doesn't like it.
00:34:19I guarantee that he will never throw cereal at me
00:34:21or anyone else again, ever.
00:34:25Mr. Belvedere, consider yourself hired.
00:34:28He's done that to me, too.
00:34:30You've got something.
00:34:31I couldn't agree with you more, Mr. King.
00:34:33You might even say I have everything.
00:34:42Look, Clary, I'm up.
00:34:54Hi.
00:34:55What goes with you two?
00:34:57Mr. Belvedere taught us.
00:34:58It's yogi.
00:34:59Do it well.
00:35:00He says it relaxes you.
00:35:03Well, just be careful you don't relax
00:35:04so much you break your necks.
00:35:06We won't.
00:35:15Hi, baby. Everything under control?
00:35:16Hello, darling.
00:35:18Oh, Harry, he's wonderful, terrific.
00:35:20He must be.
00:35:21He's already got the kids out there
00:35:22standing on their head.
00:35:23They love him.
00:35:24They've been as good as gold all day.
00:35:25No kidding?
00:35:26They ate their lunch without a single argument.
00:35:28He gave Roddy a bath
00:35:29and there wasn't a peep out of him.
00:35:31And look, the icebox.
00:35:32He's fixed it.
00:35:33It's been on the blink for days.
00:35:35Well, I'll be...
00:35:44What's the matter with Henry?
00:35:45Is he sick?
00:35:46No, darling.
00:35:48It seems that Mr. Belvedere
00:35:49used to be a dog trainer or something
00:35:51and he had a long talk with Henry this morning
00:35:53and ever since, Henry has been quiet as a mouse.
00:35:55Isn't it wonderful?
00:35:56Sounds like a treasure.
00:35:57Oh, he is.
00:35:58And in addition to everything else,
00:35:59he makes the most divine combination salad
00:36:02you've ever tasted.
00:36:04Looks delicious.
00:36:06There's just one thing.
00:36:07He's sort of mysterious.
00:36:10How do you mean?
00:36:11Well, three times today
00:36:12when he finished his chores,
00:36:13he went upstairs
00:36:14and locked himself in his room.
00:36:16I heard the lock click.
00:36:17I went up and listened
00:36:18but I couldn't hear a sound.
00:36:20What do you suppose he does up there?
00:36:23Maybe he stands on his head.
00:36:24That doesn't make much noise.
00:36:26Oh.
00:36:27Is he up there now?
00:36:28No, he's out taking his constitutional.
00:36:31Then why are we whispering?
00:36:33Oh, I forgot.
00:36:34He says he goes out for a constitutional
00:36:36every night before dinner.
00:36:41I gave him a key to his room, of course,
00:36:43but he doesn't know that I've got an extra one.
00:36:45Would it be very unethical if...
00:36:47It most certainly would.
00:36:49Let's go.
00:36:55It turns all right but nothing happens.
00:36:57Here, clumsy, let me do it.
00:37:03You sure that's the right key?
00:37:04Yes, of course it is.
00:37:07It's funny, it doesn't work.
00:37:09You're wasting your time, Mrs. King.
00:37:12Hello.
00:37:14Good evening.
00:37:15Knowing human nature as I do,
00:37:16I suspected that you might try to snoop.
00:37:19This is a new lock.
00:37:21But it can't be.
00:37:22I didn't order a locksmith.
00:37:23It wasn't necessary, Mrs. King.
00:37:25I am an expert locksmith.
00:37:32I don't know, darling.
00:37:34He may be all right, but let's face it,
00:37:36he is a screwball.
00:37:38Oh, Harry, how can you say that?
00:37:39He may be a little eccentric, but...
00:37:41Excuse me, Father.
00:37:44It's time we washed our face and hands for dinner.
00:37:46Mr. Bowerdere says cleanliness is next to godliness.
00:37:50We won't be long.
00:37:54Need I say more?
00:37:56No, I'm sold.
00:37:58I'll say good night to Roddy.
00:38:00You know, Mrs. King, it's really all your fault.
00:38:03If you weren't so darn pretty,
00:38:04we wouldn't have so many kids for people to sit with.
00:38:06No.
00:38:24Good morning, Belvedere.
00:38:27You will kindly address me as Mr. Belvedere
00:38:30until I grant you permission to drop the title.
00:38:32A contingency which seems hardly likely, Mr. Appleton.
00:38:36Oh, well, really, I...
00:38:37I intended no offence.
00:38:39Tell me, Mr. Belvedere,
00:38:41are you completely happy with the Harry Kings?
00:38:43Only an idiot is completely happy anywhere.
00:38:46I understand those dear little boys are devoted to you.
00:38:50Indeed.
00:38:51Yes, indeed, and she should.
00:38:53As my mother is always saying,
00:38:55good servants are worth their weight in gold.
00:38:57The next time your parent makes that original observation,
00:39:00tell her it's one of the older clichés.
00:39:03Yes, I will.
00:39:04Incidentally, my mother is very anxious
00:39:06to make your acquaintance properly.
00:39:07Perhaps you could drop in for a visit on your next afternoon off.
00:39:10I am not a servant, Mr. Appleton.
00:39:12My afternoons are always busy.
00:39:14I'm afraid I can't.
00:39:16I am not a servant, Mr. Appleton.
00:39:18My afternoons are always my own.
00:39:20Well, in that case, drop in any time for a glass of sherry.
00:39:23I dislike sherry as much as I deplore
00:39:25the habit of dropping in on people uninvited.
00:39:27But, Mr. Belvedere, I am inviting you.
00:39:30And I, sir, am declining.
00:39:32Good day.
00:39:47Hmm.
00:39:49Oh, here, let me do the mouth. That's awful.
00:39:52Okay, Molly, we all know you're a sculptress.
00:39:54But hurry up, will you?
00:39:55I want to get this finished before the kids get home.
00:39:57Oh, relax. They won't be home for hours.
00:39:59Why?
00:40:00Edna's taking them to her house after Sunday school.
00:40:02They're going to have lunch with Susan and little Bill.
00:40:04Hmm.
00:40:17Good morning, Mr. Belvedere.
00:40:19Good morning, good morning.
00:40:21Good morning.
00:40:22Good morning, Mrs. King.
00:40:23Cold enough for you?
00:40:24Nippy, nippy, but it suits me.
00:40:27How do you like our snowman?
00:40:30Mr. King, you should have let your wife do the face.
00:40:33I did the face.
00:40:35Oh, well, it will soon melt.
00:40:42What do you suppose he had in that package?
00:40:44Darling, he's been here so long, I've given up wondering about anything he does or has.
00:40:48It made a noise. I distinctly heard a sort of metallic ticking.
00:40:51So did I.
00:40:53If he's doing anything illegal up there, we could get into a lot of trouble.
00:40:56You know that, don't you?
00:40:58Do you suppose you could see from that limb there?
00:41:01Look, you go in the house and watch his door.
00:41:03If he comes out, find some way to warn me.
00:41:05Okay.
00:41:14Come on, let's go.
00:41:44GUN COCKS
00:42:14GUN COCKS
00:42:25Mr. King?
00:42:35Ow! Take it easy, will you?
00:42:37Kindly keep still.
00:42:38You're lucky that no bones are broken.
00:42:40That's a very professional bandage.
00:42:42There aren't many people who could do that.
00:42:44That's substantially what General Pershing told me during the First World War.
00:42:49You were a doctor, too?
00:42:51A bone specialist.
00:42:54Mr. Belvedere, is there anything you haven't been?
00:42:57Yes, Mrs. King.
00:42:58I've never been an idler nor a parasite.
00:43:05Where on earth did that...
00:43:07That, Mrs. King, was the package which you and Mr. King stared at so pointedly.
00:43:11I'm opposed to the practice of exchanging gifts at any time.
00:43:14But since you were gracious enough to give me three pairs of excellent woolen socks on the occasion of my birthday,
00:43:19I tried to get something for your anniversary that would give pleasure to your entire family.
00:43:23How very kind of you.
00:43:25Thank you, Mr. Belvedere.
00:43:26Oh, he's beautiful. Does he sing?
00:43:28Not yet, but I shall teach him.
00:43:32Donnie, will six shirts be enough?
00:43:34Sure.
00:43:35Oh, will you need your tux?
00:43:38Look, sweetie, I'm going to Chicago for a few days on business, not for fun.
00:43:42Oh, it's getting late.
00:43:44Don't worry, Bill will be here.
00:43:46Edna said he has a business date downtown and he'll drop you off at the station on the way.
00:43:52Let me see now. Socks, tie...
00:43:55Oh, my shaving things. I forgot.
00:44:00Hi, funny face.
00:44:01How's the bathtub?
00:44:02Hi.
00:44:03Are you going to miss me when I'm gone?
00:44:06Bill.
00:44:07What?
00:44:08Oh, baby, where are you going?
00:44:10Oh, don't look at me like that and laugh.
00:44:15Oh, are you having fun, huh?
00:44:17Yeah, I'm having fun.
00:44:19You're having fun?
00:44:20Yeah, I'm having fun.
00:44:23Are you having fun, huh?
00:44:25Mr. King, I've been trying to teach Ronnie that bathing is not a social function.
00:44:31Kindly do not talk to him.
00:44:35Now then, Ronnie, put the cloth in the right hand, like that, and wash.
00:44:42And no conversation.
00:44:44I don't care how good he is, there are times when that genius gets on my nerves.
00:44:48Oh, don't be so touchy.
00:44:50I'm mad about him.
00:44:54Pulling tickets.
00:44:56Money.
00:45:05He'll be right down. He's saying goodbye to the kids.
00:45:08Okay.
00:45:11That guy's going to miss his train. He better step on it.
00:45:15Hurry up, dear. You haven't much time.
00:45:17Okay.
00:45:18Just be good now and don't worry your mommy too much.
00:45:20We won't.
00:45:21Good. Keep the home fires burning.
00:45:22Bye, Pop.
00:45:23Father.
00:45:26Goodbye, son.
00:45:27Goodbye, Mr. Belvedere.
00:45:28Goodbye, Mr. King, and don't worry.
00:45:30During your absence, I shall endeavor to pinch hit for you at every opportunity.
00:45:35Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.
00:45:37Yes, darling, I know we'll get along fine.
00:45:41Oh, come on, they're getting impatient.
00:45:44Now call me if you have time.
00:45:46Oh, yes, while you're in Chicago, will you go by Marshall Fields and see if they have Larry's size in those real heavy...
00:45:52What's the matter? Forget something?
00:45:55I can't go.
00:45:56Why?
00:45:57Well, I can't leave you here alone with Belvedere.
00:46:00Why not?
00:46:02Bill, are you out of your mind?
00:46:05You seem to find him very attractive.
00:46:07I find the Grand Canyon attractive, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with it.
00:46:11You just got through saying you're mad about him.
00:46:14I am.
00:46:15I'm insane with passion.
00:46:17Hey, do you realize what time it is?
00:46:19I'm not going.
00:46:20Not going?
00:46:21Why not?
00:46:22This pillar of virtue has suddenly decided that it wouldn't be safe to leave me alone in the house with Mr. Belvedere.
00:46:29Are you kidding?
00:46:30That's not the point at all.
00:46:32Look, I'm not suggesting that you and Belvedere will carry on while I'm gone.
00:46:36Would you feel any better about your trip if your wife slept at our house while you're gone?
00:46:40Yes, I would, definitely.
00:46:41All right, settle then.
00:46:43Just think, dear, Caesar's wife is going to sleep at our house.
00:46:49Goodbye now.
00:46:50Oh, Paul, the silly.
00:46:52Well, don't I get a kiss?
00:46:53No, I'm a one-man woman and my heart belongs to Belvedere.
00:46:57Oh, thanks, Edna. Goodbye.
00:47:00Bye, have a good time. And don't you be late, Bill.
00:47:03I won't.
00:47:05You know, I believe he was actually jealous.
00:47:08That's very gratifying.
00:47:10Most gratifying.
00:47:12Although slightly suburban.
00:47:14Mr. Belvedere, don't you consider eavesdropping a bit unethical?
00:47:18Quite unethical, but fascinating.
00:47:21I particularly enjoyed your comparing me to the Grand Canyon.
00:47:24Now, there's rugger grandeur.
00:47:27I shall put that in my diary.
00:47:40No.
00:47:48Larry.
00:47:50Larry.
00:47:53Wake up.
00:47:55What's the matter with you?
00:47:57My stomach hurts.
00:47:59Bad?
00:48:00Yeah, awful.
00:48:02You must have ate too much for supper.
00:48:04Go on back to sleep and you'll feel better.
00:48:06I can't. It hurts.
00:48:08Tell Mom.
00:48:10How can I?
00:48:11You know she's been sleeping over at the Philbeasts.
00:48:14But I want my Mom.
00:48:16Shh. Shut up.
00:48:20It's only three o'clock in the morning and you'll wake up Roddy and Mr. Belvedere.
00:48:25I don't care.
00:48:26Shh.
00:48:27Look, Tony, I know.
00:48:29Why don't you stand on your head like Mr. Belvedere taught us?
00:48:32I already tried, but I only threw up.
00:48:37Okay, okay.
00:48:39I'll wake him up, but he won't like it.
00:48:42He won't mind.
00:48:43Oh, yes, he will.
00:48:44He's a genius and he needs eight hours undisturbed sleep.
00:48:48He says so all the time.
00:48:58Here, Tony, drink this.
00:49:07What are you giving him?
00:49:09It's all right. It's just ice water.
00:49:11The water bottle got smashed.
00:49:13Put it down.
00:49:14Why? A drink of water might be good for him.
00:49:17When your mother gets here, she can drown him in ice water as far as I'm concerned.
00:49:20Until then, leave him alone and put it down.
00:49:29Sure you're calling the right number?
00:49:32Kindly credit me with enough intelligence not to lose my head in a crisis.
00:49:36Of course I'm calling the right number.
00:49:47Hello?
00:49:49Yes?
00:49:51What?
00:49:53Oh, I'll call her right away.
00:49:55What's the matter? What's wrong?
00:49:57It's Tony. He's sick.
00:49:59Tacey! Tacey!
00:50:02Hi, Mom.
00:50:03How is he, dear? Is he any better?
00:50:05I think so. A little better.
00:50:07Tony, baby, did you take his temperature?
00:50:09No. I'm satisfied that he simply has a bellyache.
00:50:12No more, no less.
00:50:14Is the pain very bad, dear?
00:50:16Show me where it hurts.
00:50:18Of course, I could have handled this crisis perfectly well myself
00:50:20when the child expressed a maudlin desire for his mother.
00:50:23Come on, dear. I'll take you upstairs to bed.
00:50:27There, now. Are you all right?
00:50:29Uh-huh. Mom, are you going to sleep here now?
00:50:31No, I'm going back to Mrs. Philby's.
00:50:33Why?
00:50:34Because... Oh, well, never mind. It's a long story.
00:50:38Now, you boys sleep late in the morning. I'll be here to get your breakfast.
00:50:42And don't wait, Mr. Belvedere.
00:50:44We won't.
00:50:46And as for you, Dopey, the next time you find a package of chewing gum,
00:50:49be sure it is chewing gum.
00:50:56Hello, hello.
00:50:59Mrs. Philby.
00:51:01I have now informed you on three separate occasions
00:51:04that nature has resolved Tony's gaspic disorder.
00:51:09Mrs. King will return in a few minutes.
00:51:11No further burdens will be issued.
00:51:13Good night.
00:51:15Silly woman.
00:51:16I'm sorry you were disturbed, Mr. Belvedere.
00:51:18I'm sure they'll go right to sleep now.
00:51:20Whereas I shall be plagued with insomnia.
00:51:24Now, who could that be?
00:51:26If you go to the door, you need not conjecture.
00:51:32Oh.
00:51:33Please pardon the intrusion, Mrs. King,
00:51:35but I noticed all your lights go on,
00:51:37and knowing your husband was away in Chicago,
00:51:39I felt constrained to dash over to see if anything was wrong.
00:51:42No, thank you. Everything is fine.
00:51:44Oh, just a neighborly call, you might say,
00:51:46to offer my services if needed.
00:51:54Good evening.
00:51:56Or should I say good morning?
00:52:00Did you borrow your mother's binoculars
00:52:02to ascertain that our lights are gone on?
00:52:04Well, I... I...
00:52:06Were you perhaps looking for pollen for your irises?
00:52:18Well?
00:52:20I see that I am not needed.
00:52:22Your vision is remarkably accurate.
00:52:31Evil-minded little worm.
00:52:38Do you know anyone who has a beehive?
00:52:40What?
00:52:42A good swarm of bees could ruin his sheltered irises.
00:52:45I know. But how could you get them to swarm?
00:52:48Now, don't tell me you were also a beekeeper.
00:52:51That is correct.
00:52:54Good night.
00:53:06Here you are, Mrs. Gibbs. I know you'll enjoy it.
00:53:08Thank you, Delma. I certainly like the last one you recommended.
00:53:11Good. Do come in again.
00:53:12Oh, I will. Goodbye. Goodbye, Mr. Appleton.
00:53:14Oh, Mrs. Gibbs.
00:53:17So, what happened?
00:53:19As I was saying, last night, or rather early this morning,
00:53:22I went over to the Harry King's on an errand of mercy.
00:53:25And bear in mind, Mr. King has only been gone three days.
00:53:28And there was Mr. Belvedere in his pajamas.
00:53:31And Tasty King in a flimsy negligee.
00:53:34And both of them cavorting about in the most shameless way,
00:53:37drinking gin.
00:53:39I think it's the most... What?
00:53:42Oh, you're quite right, my dear.
00:53:44It's my duty to tell Horatio.
00:53:46Yes, of course. He demands respectability above all things.
00:53:51Mr. Hammond's office.
00:53:53Oh, yes, Mrs. Hammond. One moment, please.
00:53:57Yes? Mrs. Hammond on the phone.
00:53:59Oh, all right.
00:54:02Yes, Martha. What is it?
00:54:07No.
00:54:09Why, that's outrageous.
00:54:13And both of them drunk?
00:54:17Well, go on.
00:54:20What else did she say that Clarence told her to tell you to tell me?
00:54:26Uh-huh.
00:54:31Hello, girls.
00:54:32Hello, Mr. King.
00:54:34How are you, Peggy? Everything under control?
00:54:36Oh, yes, Mr. King. And we got your wire.
00:54:38Mr. Hammond was very pleased that the matter was settled.
00:54:40Well, get my house for me, will you? I haven't been home yet.
00:54:43But, Mr. King, Mr. Hammond wanted to see you the moment you came in.
00:54:46Oh. Okay. I'll call the house later.
00:54:53And that's where I nailed him.
00:54:55He didn't ever come back.
00:54:57So he talked it over with his clients and they signed on the dotted line.
00:55:01Very good. Very good, Harry.
00:55:03Now, Mr. Hammond, how about that raise?
00:55:07Before we discuss that, Harry, there is something of a personal nature.
00:55:12Of a very distressing nature, which I feel it my duty to take up with you.
00:55:17I don't know what you're driving at.
00:55:19I'm driving at this, this Belvedere person.
00:55:23Belvedere?
00:55:24Well, what's Belvedere got to do with it?
00:55:27Information has reached me, Harry, to the effect that during your absence,
00:55:32your wife and this Belvedere have been having quite a time for themselves.
00:55:39Gee, Daisy, I think it's swell.
00:55:41Do you think you've really done justice to his nose?
00:55:44Edna, will you wait till it's finished?
00:55:46I think it's darling of you, Mr. Belvedere, to give Daisy a chance to practice like this.
00:55:50My motives, Mrs. Philby, are not entirely unselfish.
00:55:53Someday they will need a bust of me in the Hall of Fame.
00:55:57The only virtue you lack, Mr. Belvedere, is modesty.
00:56:00I do not consider that a virtue.
00:56:02Oh, I do. That's what I like about Harry. He's so modest.
00:56:06Your husband has a great deal to be modest about.
00:56:11You know, it amazes me how anybody can take a lot of wet mud
00:56:14and mash it around and make it look like somebody.
00:56:16Ladies, please, may I suggest less conversation and more sculpture?
00:56:19Oh, all right, all right.
00:56:20This is very wearing.
00:56:21I'm sorry. It's my fault. I just meant to stop in for a moment.
00:56:24I'll scram. Goodbye, Mr. Belvedere.
00:56:26So long, sweetie. Bye.
00:56:30Your jaw isn't right.
00:56:32My jaw is perfect. Your reproduction is at fault.
00:56:35You obviously have never studied anatomy.
00:56:37Have you?
00:56:38I have dissected many a cadaver.
00:56:41Come here.
00:56:43Now, if...
00:56:45If you place your fingertips at the base of my jaw,
00:56:48so you can feel where the orbicularis oris operates.
00:56:56And now, then, the jaw bone.
00:57:07That's okay.
00:57:11Mmm.
00:57:17Mmm. Do it some more.
00:57:36Well, this is a cozy little scene.
00:57:38Harry, I didn't expect you till tonight.
00:57:40Obviously.
00:57:42Would you mind telling me just what you were doing?
00:57:45I was permitting your wife to massage my larynx.
00:57:48And I might add, Mr. King,
00:57:50that your greeting to your wife is scarcely cordial, to say the least.
00:57:53You keep out of this. I'll greet my wife any way I like.
00:57:56Harry, what's the matter with you?
00:57:57Oh, it's a fine thing.
00:57:58I'm not back ten minutes before Hammond reads me the riot act about all this gossip.
00:58:02Gossip? What gossip? What are you talking about?
00:58:04Gossip about you and Belvedere. That's what I'm talking about.
00:58:07And I don't mind telling you it's jeopardizing my position.
00:58:10Oh, stop ranting. You're not in court.
00:58:12Now, look here, Tacey.
00:58:13And stop raising your voice.
00:58:14I'll raise the roof if I want to.
00:58:16Very well.
00:58:19Oh, Tacey, I...
00:58:21I'm willing to believe that all these rumors about a drunken orgy
00:58:24in your nightclothes with Belvedere are somewhat garbled, but...
00:58:27So that's it. Mr. Appleton's fine hand.
00:58:31But my gosh, when I came in the house just now,
00:58:33you were practically holding him in your arms.
00:58:35For heaven's sake, you saw what I was doing.
00:58:37She was merely feeling my bone structure.
00:58:40You shut up and listen.
00:58:42I've been listening.
00:58:43All I can hear is a typical suburban husband reacting
00:58:46in a typically stupid and stuffy manner to a typical tempest in a teapot.
00:58:49He's right.
00:58:50And as for that drunken orgy you were talking about,
00:58:53Tony got us all up in the middle of the night with a stomachache.
00:58:56I dashed over from Edna's and I wasn't in the house a half an hour
00:58:59when that horrible little Mr. Appleton came snooping around.
00:59:03Oh.
00:59:05Well, I imagine it was something like that.
00:59:09Look, I'll admit it is all pretty silly.
00:59:11Very silly.
00:59:13But...
00:59:14Go on.
00:59:17Well, I was just thinking that perhaps it might be simpler for everybody all around
00:59:21if Mr. Belvedere sought employment elsewhere.
00:59:25In other words, to satisfy malicious gossips like Mr. Hammond,
00:59:29Mr. Appleton and his awful mother, you want to kick Mr. Belvedere out.
00:59:33In a word, yes.
00:59:35And that is your final decision, Mr. King?
00:59:39Yes. I'm sorry, but that's final.
00:59:42No, Daddy! No!
00:59:44Please let him stay!
00:59:46Please, Daddy!
00:59:47Don't go, Mr. Belvedere! Please!
00:59:49Shh! Quiet, quiet!
00:59:50Your father's not the type to be swayed by sentimental pleading.
00:59:53Don't let him go, Daddy! Please!
00:59:55We love Mr. Belvedere!
00:59:58Don't go, Uncle Len!
01:00:01Don't ever again, as long as you live, dare to call me Uncle.
01:00:05By no stretch of the imagination could I possibly be a relative of yours.
01:00:09My name is Mr. Belvedere.
01:00:12Is that clear?
01:00:14Yes.
01:00:15Yes, sir?
01:00:17Yes, sir.
01:00:20That's better.
01:00:27What the heck is the matter with him?
01:00:29Children are psychic, Mr. King.
01:00:31They can sense impending disaster.
01:00:37Okay, I know when I'm licked.
01:00:39All right, all right, he can stay.
01:00:42Shut up!
01:01:00Harry wasn't so dumb to stay home.
01:01:02I could scalp him for talking me into coming to this thing.
01:01:05What that lecturer knows about child psychology could be engraved on a peanut.
01:01:09Talking about peanuts, you hungry?
01:01:11Yes, and thirsty, too.
01:01:13Well, what about going in here for a snack?
01:01:15A little bit expensive, isn't it?
01:01:17Yes, but the music's worth it.
01:01:19Come on, let's flirt.
01:01:29THE END
01:01:44Hey, look, Mr. Belvedere.
01:01:46It's Mrs. King and Mrs. Philby.
01:01:48It is indeed.
01:01:50Well, they better not see us here together.
01:01:52I'll blow.
01:01:53You have wisdom beyond your years, my dear.
01:01:55Thanks very much for these notes.
01:01:56They'll be invaluable to me.
01:01:58You are a mine of information.
01:01:59Oh, that's all right.
01:02:00Well, so long.
01:02:02And, uh, thanks for the ham sandwich.
01:02:06And coffee, please.
01:02:07Right away.
01:02:13Look.
01:02:21Well, I'll be darned, that's very funny.
01:02:24I've often wondered what he did with his evenings off.
01:02:27Oh, he's coming over.
01:02:28You better get rid of him.
01:02:29You don't want to start those tongues wagging again.
01:02:31On the contrary, I'd like to give them something to wag about.
01:02:37Good evening.
01:02:38Hello, Mr. Belvedere.
01:02:39Miss Philby, may I join you?
01:02:41Of course.
01:02:42Yes, please do.
01:02:43Thank you.
01:02:44I suppose I should make it clear that I'm very sorry
01:02:47that I have neither the means nor the presumption
01:02:49to pay for your refreshments.
01:02:51Oh, that's perfectly all right.
01:02:52Edna and I always go Dutch, too.
01:02:55Oh, I just love this number.
01:02:57I adore dancing, but Bill simply loathes it.
01:03:00So does Harry.
01:03:03Do you dance, too, Mr. Belvedere?
01:03:05I dance extremely well.
01:03:07I suppose you learned from Arthur Murray?
01:03:10No, I taught Arthur Murray.
01:03:14Would you care to dance, Mrs. King?
01:03:16Oh, I'd love to.
01:03:17Excuse us.
01:03:26Thank you.
01:03:47Goodbye.
01:03:48Goodbye.
01:03:49Mrs. Frisby, I cannot begin to tell you
01:03:51how much I enjoyed your lecture.
01:03:53Thank you, Mr. Lappleton.
01:03:54And I know that my dear mother enjoyed it, too.
01:03:56What did you say, Clarence? Speak up!
01:03:58I was telling Mrs. Frisby that you...
01:03:59Oh, this darn thing's on the blink again.
01:04:04Mr. Belvedere, you dance divinely.
01:04:06Yes, I do.
01:04:55Hello, darling.
01:04:59You're kind of late, aren't you?
01:05:01We were hungry. We stopped and had a bite to eat.
01:05:03And you know what?
01:05:04Good lecture.
01:05:05Horrible.
01:05:06Oh, and what did you stay so long for?
01:05:08Well, darling, if you'll turn around and listen to me,
01:05:10I'll tell you why.
01:05:11Oh, no, I'm sleepy.
01:05:13But, darling, I want to tell you what happened.
01:05:15Yeah, well, tell me in the morning.
01:05:17Well, I...
01:05:19I...
01:05:21I...
01:05:22Yeah, well, tell me in the morning.
01:05:26Okay.
01:05:27Happy dreams.
01:05:36Yes, Mr. Hammond?
01:05:37Harry, will you step in here a moment?
01:05:38Right away.
01:05:53Yes?
01:05:55Sit down, Harry.
01:06:03Harry, the firm of Horatio J. Hammond and Associates
01:06:07has a spotless name in this community.
01:06:10So?
01:06:11So I consider it mandatory for all those connected with the firm
01:06:14and their families
01:06:16never to incur the slightest gossip of a scandalous nature.
01:06:19Are you still harping about those stupid rumors
01:06:21that started while I was in Chicago?
01:06:23I do not harp.
01:06:24That was quite a while ago.
01:06:26I am now referring to an incident
01:06:28which took place only last night,
01:06:30a most deplorable incident which has just come to my ears.
01:06:34Involving whom?
01:06:35Involving your wife, Harry,
01:06:37and involving this Belvedere whom you are sheltering.
01:06:41Oh, look here, Mr. Hammond.
01:06:42This has gone far enough.
01:06:43If you will sit down, Harry,
01:06:45I will furnish you with full details
01:06:47Harry,
01:06:49it hurts me deeply to tell you this,
01:06:51but...
01:07:04Hello, darling. You're home early.
01:07:06Why didn't you tell me you were out dancing?
01:07:08Oh, I'm sorry.
01:07:09I didn't know you were out dancing.
01:07:11I didn't know you were out dancing.
01:07:13I didn't know you were out dancing.
01:07:15You're home early.
01:07:16Why didn't you tell me you were out dancing with this man last night?
01:07:19Now what have you heard?
01:07:20Answer my question. Why didn't you tell me?
01:07:22Because you were sleepy and disagreeable
01:07:24when I got home and wouldn't listen.
01:07:26I tried to tell you.
01:07:27Then why didn't you tell me this morning at breakfast?
01:07:30I can be sleepy and disagreeable too.
01:07:32Our meeting was purely coincidental, Mr. King,
01:07:34but most enjoyable.
01:07:36And you admit it.
01:07:37Certainly.
01:07:38Moreover, he dances like a saint.
01:07:40I don't care if he dances like Saint Midas himself.
01:07:42What about me?
01:07:43You dance very badly, dear.
01:07:45Now look, Tacey.
01:07:46Your conduct is making me the laughingstock of Hummingbird Hill.
01:07:49Why, Mr. Hammond practically gave me an ultimatum
01:07:52that if I didn't...
01:07:54Stop shredding that lettuce!
01:07:56Life must go on, Mr. King.
01:07:59Well, it's not going on with you in the house.
01:08:02Harry, I think you'd better pull yourself together
01:08:05and apologize to both of us for this ridiculous scene.
01:08:09Apologize?
01:08:10I should apologize because of your indiscretions?
01:08:13Very well.
01:08:14Until you come to your senses
01:08:16and stop letting Mr. Hammond run our lives,
01:08:18I'm going to take Roddy and go home to mother.
01:08:20Go right ahead. It's perfectly all right with me.
01:08:27It would be hard to tell which of you is behaving more foolishly,
01:08:30but, Mr. King, I think you have a slight edge.
01:08:33You keep out of this!
01:08:35Harry, listen.
01:08:37Oh, are you still here?
01:08:38I thought you were going home to your mother.
01:08:40Very well, if that's the way you feel about it.
01:08:42That's exactly the way I feel about it.
01:08:44I agree with Mr. Belvedere. You're acting like a...
01:08:46That's the whole trouble.
01:08:47You always agree with Mr. Belvedere.
01:08:50Well, what are you waiting for?
01:08:52Nothing.
01:08:53Now I know where we stand.
01:09:01Well, you smashed up my home.
01:09:03I hope you're satisfied.
01:09:04Stupidity never gives me satisfaction, Mr. King.
01:09:07Your wife is right. You owe her an abject apology.
01:09:10If she thinks I'm going to come crawling on my knees to ask forgiveness,
01:09:13she's got another thing coming.
01:09:15I'm going out and get good and drunk.
01:09:16Intoxication is a form of escape often sought for the mentally immature.
01:09:32That's all there was.
01:09:33Oh.
01:09:37Nothing from Harry?
01:09:39Oh, Harry doesn't write.
01:09:41I don't even expect to hear from him.
01:09:43Why, of course not, dear.
01:09:45That's why you leap for the door when the mail comes or when the telephone rings.
01:09:51I never could fool either of you for long.
01:09:53No, dear.
01:09:54Sometimes you were able to pull the wool over your father's eyes,
01:09:57but never over mine.
01:10:00Okay, then.
01:10:01We had a fight.
01:10:02About this Mr. Belvedere?
01:10:04Yes.
01:10:06Oh, Harry's such a fool.
01:10:08He was seething with ridiculous suspicion and jealousy.
01:10:12I could have wrung his neck.
01:10:13When a woman wants to wring her husband's neck, she's usually in the wrong.
01:10:17Well, anyway, he could have phoned or sent a postcard or something after three days.
01:10:22You're the one who walked out.
01:10:24Have you phoned or sent a postcard?
01:10:26After what he said to me?
01:10:28Oh, go ahead.
01:10:29Call him up.
01:10:30I will not.
01:10:32Why, he practically accused me of...
01:10:34Okay.
01:10:35So he flew off the handle.
01:10:37Harry was always that way, dear.
01:10:39Full of ginger.
01:10:41Ginger.
01:10:42Yes.
01:10:45Look, Dad.
01:10:46You and Mother can go on your fishing trip.
01:10:49Don't bother about me.
01:10:50I'll stay here with Roddy.
01:10:52We'll be all right.
01:11:05What's the matter with you?
01:11:07Nothing.
01:11:09Finished your homework?
01:11:11Pop, when's Mom coming home?
01:11:14Oh, I don't know.
01:11:16A few days.
01:11:17Why did she go?
01:11:20Well, I guess she got lonesome for Grandma.
01:11:25Well, I'm lonesome for her.
01:11:27So is Tony.
01:11:30Aren't you?
01:11:31Sure.
01:11:33Sure.
01:11:34Why don't you call her up?
01:11:36She's been gone a whole week.
01:11:38Go on, Pop.
01:11:40Call her.
01:11:44Why don't you run upstairs?
01:11:45It's almost bedtime.
01:11:47Okay.
01:11:49Pop, what's a moron?
01:11:52Someone who isn't very bright.
01:11:54You know, a dope.
01:11:56Oh.
01:11:57Why do you ask?
01:11:58Because that's what somebody said you were.
01:12:03Who said that?
01:12:05Well, uh...
01:12:07I don't know.
01:12:08I don't know.
01:12:09I don't know.
01:12:10I don't know.
01:12:11I don't know.
01:12:12I don't know.
01:12:13I don't know.
01:12:14I don't know.
01:12:15I don't know.
01:12:16I don't know.
01:12:17Well, uh...
01:12:23Where do you think you're going?
01:12:25Out.
01:12:26It's Thursday, my evening off.
01:12:28Remember?
01:12:30Did you tell my kids I was a moron?
01:12:33I most assuredly did not.
01:12:35But, uh, Mr. King, if you wish you kept a secret, you should not act like one.
01:12:40Take my advice.
01:12:42Bury your idiotic pride and telephone your wife.
01:12:45When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.
01:12:49Good evening.
01:12:50Good night.
01:12:51And don't bother to come back, except for your clothes.
01:12:54You're through.
01:12:55You can't mean that, Mr. King.
01:12:58Bear in mind that in your wife's absence, you would be quite helpless without me.
01:13:03I have half a mind to punch you right in the nose, just on general principles.
01:13:07It takes half a mind to resort to such measures.
01:13:10Why, you...
01:13:11I neglected to tell you that in my youth, I was quite expert in the art of fisticuffs.
01:13:41Mother, have you read chapter...
01:13:56Mother?
01:13:57Mother!
01:13:58What's the matter?
01:14:00Effie!
01:14:01Effie!
01:14:02Mother, speak to me.
01:14:04It's Clarence.
01:14:05Mother, please don't frighten me.
01:14:08Mother.
01:14:09Effie.
01:14:10Effie, get the smelling salts.
01:14:11My mother has fainted.
01:14:12Mother.
01:14:13Come on, Mother.
01:14:14Mother.
01:14:15Oh, Mother.
01:14:16Mother.
01:14:17Mother.
01:14:18Can't you hear me, Mother?
01:14:20Mother!
01:14:24Bring me every book we have on the law of libel.
01:14:26And tell Mr. King I want to see him.
01:14:28At once!
01:14:29Yes, Mr. Hammond.
01:14:33Here we go, kids.
01:14:34Hey, girls, get a load of this.
01:14:36What?
01:14:37What?
01:14:38This chapter here of Mr. Gammon, Horace G. Gammon.
01:14:41Couldn't get much closer than that, could they?
01:14:43It tells about Mr. Gammon keeping physically fit by chasing the office girls around their desks, trying to pinch.
01:14:48Oh, boy.
01:14:49How could this Belvedere know that?
01:14:51Well, it's true, isn't it?
01:14:52You're still black and blue.
01:14:53Wait till Mrs. Gammon reads that.
01:14:56Well, what about those books?
01:14:58Yes, Mr. Gammon.
01:14:59Hammond!
01:15:05Hello, darling.
01:15:06Hello.
01:15:07I, uh, understand I'm referred to and...
01:15:10Oh, yes, Mr. McPherson.
01:15:11You're mentioned on page, um...
01:15:15174.
01:15:17Well, you better let me have a copy.
01:15:19Certainly.
01:15:20Now, now, Emily, don't be silly.
01:15:22This book is merely fiction.
01:15:24Well, we'll discuss it tonight.
01:15:26I'll be home...
01:15:27Hello?
01:15:28Hello?
01:15:32Get me my attorneys.
01:15:33Right away.
01:15:36Thank you.
01:15:51Hello?
01:15:52Yes.
01:15:53Yes, this is Mrs. Harry King.
01:15:56Oh, all right.
01:15:57Hello?
01:15:58They're putting her on.
01:16:00Hello?
01:16:01Oh, hello, Tacey!
01:16:03Oh, it's you, Edna.
01:16:04I thought it was...
01:16:05Is anything wrong?
01:16:06Anything?
01:16:07Oh, sweetie, everything's wrong.
01:16:10Now, don't get panicky.
01:16:11Nobody's sick or anything.
01:16:12It's your precious Mr. Belvedere.
01:16:15He's got this whole town in an uproar.
01:16:17He's written the book.
01:16:19Yes, I know.
01:16:20I just this moment saw the advertisement.
01:16:23Well, go on.
01:16:24Tell me.
01:16:25What's happened?
01:16:26Well, in the first place, Harry's been fired.
01:16:29Why?
01:16:30For harboring Belvedere, of course.
01:16:32Tell her about me.
01:16:33Oh, yes.
01:16:34And when Bill tried to stand up for Harry,
01:16:36he got fired, too.
01:16:38Oh, my gosh.
01:16:40Well, let me speak to Harry.
01:16:41Put him on.
01:16:43What?
01:16:44Well, where is he?
01:16:45We don't know.
01:16:46He's not at home.
01:16:48He's probably out somewhere
01:16:49looking for a nice soft shoulder to cry on.
01:16:53Bill says...
01:16:54Hello?
01:16:56Well, it worked.
01:16:57She just said goodbye and hung up.
01:17:04Oh, my God.
01:17:26That's good.
01:17:28All right, we're ready.
01:17:30Now, Mr. Belvedere,
01:17:31I'll be behind the camera
01:17:32and I'm going to ask you a few questions,
01:17:34so just be perfectly relaxed.
01:17:36Young man, I need no instructions.
01:17:38I have directed many pictures.
01:17:41Oh, I'm sorry.
01:17:42I didn't know that.
01:17:44All right, everybody, quiet.
01:17:46Quiet, please.
01:17:47Roll them.
01:17:49Speed.
01:17:51Now, Mr. Belvedere, tell us,
01:17:53how did you write this book?
01:17:55I wrote it with a quill.
01:17:57Oh, that's very interesting.
01:17:58So that's why we could never hear anything.
01:18:02Look, it's Mom!
01:18:04Mom!
01:18:05Hi, Mom!
01:18:07Hello, darling.
01:18:08Oh, Tony, baby.
01:18:13Oh, I missed you so much.
01:18:14Oh, we missed you, too.
01:18:17Where's your daddy?
01:18:18He's inside.
01:18:20Come on, quick.
01:18:22Mr. Belvedere, critics throughout the country
01:18:24have unanimously hailed your novel
01:18:26as a masterpiece of sheer genius.
01:18:28That is correct.
01:18:29And how do you feel about it?
01:18:31I feel they were quite conservative.
01:18:35Pop, look!
01:18:37It's Mom!
01:18:38Quiet in there!
01:18:39Oh, darling.
01:18:40Quiet, we're shooting in here.
01:18:42Cut.
01:18:44Oh, darling, I had to come back
01:18:46the minute I knew you were in trouble.
01:18:49Don't worry, it'll work out all right.
01:18:52Gosh, honey,
01:18:54I've been such a dope.
01:18:56You have indeed.
01:18:57Indeed.
01:19:01No need to be emotional, Mrs. King.
01:19:03He will not starve.
01:19:05Mr. Belvedere,
01:19:07I don't quite know whether to congratulate you or to...
01:19:10Or to spit in my eye.
01:19:14Well, yes.
01:19:16It's a mood point.
01:19:17Mr. Belvedere, please, we haven't finished.
01:19:19You're mistaken, young man, we have.
01:19:21I've posed quite long enough.
01:19:23Oh, Edna.
01:19:24Bill, I haven't had a chance to say hello to you.
01:19:26Hello, Daisy.
01:19:27I know, sweetie.
01:19:28Come on, let's get out of this shambles.
01:19:29I want to talk to you.
01:19:30Go ahead, dear.
01:19:31I'll be right up just as soon as I get rid of this gang.
01:19:33All right.
01:19:36There you are, my good man.
01:19:37Look, fellas, enough is enough.
01:19:38Get all of these people and this stuff out of here, will you?
01:19:41Okay, boys, wrap it up.
01:19:43Just one of the penalties of fame, Miss King.
01:19:46Well, I'm not famous.
01:19:47You will be.
01:19:48My book has made you immortal.
01:19:50You can't go in there.
01:19:51I'll go anywhere I please.
01:19:53Where is this Belvedere person?
01:19:54Where is he?
01:19:55Oh, there you are.
01:19:57Don't you take your hat off when you crash somebody's house?
01:19:59Don't you talk to me like that.
01:20:01I'll talk to you any way I like.
01:20:02You fired me, remember?
01:20:04Yes, I fired you.
01:20:05You heard him.
01:20:08It gives me the greatest possible pleasure to serve you personally with this summons.
01:20:12A summons?
01:20:13Well, well, how interesting.
01:20:15I am suing you for one million dollars for libel.
01:20:17Splendid.
01:20:18That's a good round sum.
01:20:19And I'm going to sue you too.
01:20:21Good.
01:20:22And me.
01:20:23And I, Mr. Taylor.
01:20:24My mother and I are going to sue you too.
01:20:26And in addition, we shall see to it that you are run out of town.
01:20:29Excellent.
01:20:30Such notoriety will merely cause the sales of my book to zoom higher, if possible.
01:20:34Would you two young men be interested in acting as my attorneys in these threatened suits?
01:20:38Are you serious?
01:20:39Mr. King, I never jest about a million dollars.
01:20:41Money is the root of all evil, and I have the greatest possible respect for it.
01:20:45Okay, Mr. Belvedere, we'll be very happy to defend you.
01:20:47Good.
01:20:48How about it, Bill?
01:20:49It's a deal.
01:20:50The stores of King and Philby will open tomorrow morning.
01:20:52And they'll have their work cut out for them.
01:20:54Because we intend to sue not only you, but everybody who supplied you with this libelous information.
01:20:58Good idea.
01:21:00You should always go to the source.
01:21:01I intend to.
01:21:03Has it occurred to any of you gentlemen who that source might be?
01:21:07Who is the person who knows all about everyone on Hummingbird Hill?
01:21:10Who is the one that for years has made a repulsive habit of snooping and gossiping about his neighbors?
01:21:16Who is it among us who knows our little peccadilloes with girls in florist shops?
01:21:20The girl was merely delivering flowers to that motel.
01:21:22But they were not orange blossoms.
01:21:24And you, Mr. McPherson...
01:21:25You caricatured me in this book as a notorious lush.
01:21:28It was not I who counted the empties taken away from your house by the garbage men.
01:21:33Just one little moment.
01:21:34Are you insinuating that I...
01:21:35I let the chips fall where they may.
01:21:37But I...
01:21:38And, Mr. Hammond, who is it that makes a habit of reading other people's mail?
01:21:41Other people's perfumed mail.
01:21:44Oh, this is outrageous.
01:21:45Are you suggesting that I have been your collaborator?
01:21:48Don't be presumptuous.
01:21:50Let me put it in terms that even you will understand.
01:21:52You have spread the pollen.
01:21:54I have reaped the harvest.
01:21:56But I...
01:21:57But this is fantastic.
01:21:58I have been more grossly maligned in the book than anyone.
01:22:01It is only poetic justice that a stool pigeon should be roasted.
01:22:04So you're the one.
01:22:06No, no, Horatio.
01:22:07Let's not be hasty.
01:22:08Why, you little weasel.
01:22:09No, no, Horatio.
01:22:10Don't, Horatio.
01:22:11Me.
01:22:13Mama! Mama!
01:22:18I'd give my right arm to get a look at Appleton with that black eye.
01:22:22I bet it nearly killed him when they trampled down his iris bed.
01:22:29How would you like to go celebrating tomorrow night?
01:22:31Love to.
01:22:32Would you care to take me dancing?
01:22:34Yes, but remember, I don't dance as well as Mr. Belvedere.
01:22:37No, dear, but you're much prettier.
01:22:40Wait a minute.
01:22:41We can't.
01:22:42We'll sit with the kids.
01:22:44I will.
01:22:45The mere fact that I have been catapulted into fame does not blind me to the duties I undertook here.
01:22:52Mr. Belvedere, you're an amazing man.
01:22:55Just what are your plans for the future?
01:22:57My dear Mrs. King, Hummingbird Hill is only the first volume of a trilogy.
01:23:02I estimate the other two volumes will take me about two years.
01:23:07And you're going to write them here?
01:23:10Naturally.
01:23:12Posterity will demand that the entire masterpiece be written under the same roof.
01:23:16This house will become a shrine.
01:23:19I'm surprised you even want to stay.
01:23:22It can't be very convenient.
01:23:24You claim you don't even like children.
01:23:28That is correct.
01:23:31Mr. Belvedere.
01:23:34Yes?
01:23:35I think it only fair to tell you that before long we're expecting another child.
01:23:42And you will find me of great service, Mrs. King.
01:23:45I was also an obstetrician.
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