Korman/Convy/Worley (Gene Rayburn subs), 1974
Transcript
00:00Number one in this arena has a money stake in one of our famous couples, as we play the
00:08game of celebrity gossip, Tattletales.
00:09And here's this week's star of Tattletales, Gene Rayburn.
00:10Thank you very much for joining us here on Tattletales, wherever you are.
00:26As you know, if you've been watching this program, our studio audience is divided into
00:30three rooting sections, each rooting for a celebrity couple.
00:34And this group over here will be rooting for Harvey Korman and his beautiful wife, Donna.
00:47Donna is a good player, Harvey is a good player.
00:50Are you both ready to have a go at this?
00:51Oh, yes.
00:52I love this blue thing.
00:53Does it bring out my eyes?
00:54Yes.
00:55Are your eyes really blue?
00:56No, your eyes are green.
00:57Oh, go away.
00:58Why am I doing Paul Linn?
00:59Okay.
01:00Now, the people in the center here in the yellow section will be rooting for Burt, what's
01:10his name, and his pretty wife, Diane Kramble.
01:11Hi.
01:12Hello, pretty wife.
01:13Hello.
01:14Hello, pretty wife.
01:15Hello.
01:16I didn't realize that I was going to be in the yellow section.
01:24We all kind of match things up here, don't we?
01:25No, you clash.
01:26I didn't realize that.
01:27No, you don't.
01:28You clash?
01:29Oh, my.
01:30Perfect ensemble.
01:31All right.
01:32Now, the people in the far red section over there will be rooting for the talented and
01:36gifted actor, Roger Perry, and beautiful Joanne Morley.
01:41They're going to come back.
01:46Roger?
01:47Making a comeback.
01:48You're going to make a comeback.
01:49That's right.
01:50You didn't say talented and gifted when you introduced me, James.
01:51Talent and gifted.
01:52We all understand that.
01:53Never mind, Roger.
01:54Never mind.
01:55All right.
01:56Now, listen.
01:57I want to say one word about the scoring.
01:58We start out with a pot of $150, and the couple who score, they share in the pot.
02:03Now, if only one couple scores, they get the whole pot.
02:06That's the way it is.
02:07We don't fiddle around here, do we?
02:08No.
02:09Okay.
02:10I like to hear about scoring.
02:11I'll tell you about that later.
02:12Don't hit him.
02:13He's a star.
02:14Now, are you ready?
02:15He has the green eyes I've ever seen.
02:16Okay.
02:17Ladies, here you are.
02:18Yes.
02:19Listen to this now, ladies.
02:20Okay.
02:21You're wrecked on a desert island in the South Seas with a handsome young man.
02:22Oh, my God.
02:23How nice.
02:24How do you...
02:25You like it so far?
02:26Terrific.
02:27All right.
02:28I can't wait to see what happens.
02:29Each of you is wearing one garment.
02:30Now, whose garment would you use for the distress test?
02:31I'm going to use this one.
02:32I'm going to use this one.
02:33I'm going to use this one.
02:34I'm going to use this one.
02:35I'm going to use this one.
02:36I'm going to use this one.
02:37I'm going to use this one.
02:38I'm going to use this one.
02:39I'm going to use this one.
02:40I'm going to use this one.
02:41I'm going to use this one.
02:42I'm going to use this one.
02:43I'm going to use this one.
02:44I'm going to use this one.
02:45I'm going to use this one.
02:46I'm going to use this one.
02:47I'm going to use this one.
02:48I'm going to use this one.
02:49I'm going to use this one.
02:50I'm going to use this one.
02:51I'm going to use this one.
02:52I'm going to use this one.
02:53I'm going to use this one.
02:54I'm going to use this one.
02:55I'm going to use this one.
02:56I'm going to use this one.
02:57I'm going to use this one.
02:58I'm going to use this one.
02:59I'm going to use this one.
03:00I'm going to use this one.
03:01I'm going to use this one.
03:02I'm going to use this one.
03:03Goodbye, ladies.
03:04I see we've given them a lot of food for thought there.
03:08What the hell we talked to?
03:15I'm just picturing my wife on a desert island in an overcoat.
03:22To South Sea Island.
03:23That's a shocker and a stunner.
03:24South Sea Island.
03:25And there's a young man there.
03:27Now, what is she going to say?
03:29Well, she's going to say, look, if you take your one garment off,
03:34you're going to be cold and you're going to be exposed.
03:36And I always think of the other person first.
03:39So, I will use my one garment to signal for whatever.
03:44Donna will say that.
03:45I don't know.
03:48My eyes are suddenly green.
03:49I don't know anything anymore.
03:51Yes, Donna will say, yes, I will.
03:54That she will sacrifice her garment.
03:55Yes.
03:56Well, let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.
03:59Lots of love from the section.
04:01First, let's get Donna out here.
04:03Hello, Donna.
04:04Hello.
04:05Now, we've come to the moment of truth.
04:07There you are, Donna, on this beautiful South Sea Island.
04:11The fern fronds are waving in the breeze.
04:13The palm trees are whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
04:17Whose garment would you use for the distress flag?
04:19Mine.
04:20Atta girl.
04:27Now, how did you know she was going to say that, Harvey?
04:29We have had such terrific communication and rapport.
04:32We just know what we're going to say now.
04:34Oh, shut up.
04:37It would, Donna.
04:38I'm sick of the whole thing.
04:39Sick of him and his green eyes.
04:41You may come to my dressing room later and talk about this.
04:43Hello there.
04:44Hello there.
04:45Thank you very much, Donna.
04:46Okay, now we go to Ann and Bert and we'll ask Bert here.
04:50Well, which garment do we wave?
04:53Whose garment would you use for the distress flag?
04:55What would Ann say?
04:56Oh, well, she will make no bones about this because how far can a loin cloth be seen at sea?
05:02That's the main question.
05:04You think the guy is wearing a loin cloth?
05:06Well, could be.
05:07But if it was me, it would be like a sail, so it would be no problem.
05:12I'm sorry.
05:15Bites are short.
05:16Come on, yellow section, you're supposed to be rooting for me.
05:19Don't turn on me.
05:21I think that she'll say that it would be my garment because she'll say that...
05:25Not yours.
05:26It's a handsome young man, not you.
05:28Isn't that funny?
05:31You're not on this island.
05:33You got in on this island with a handsome young stranger.
05:37C'est moi?
05:38No, I see.
05:40Oh, I see.
05:41Well, I don't want to play in that case, Ann.
05:43I'm getting sick of you too.
05:44Come on now, give us an answer.
05:45Okay, gang.
05:46Now, some handsome...
05:47I don't care what he puts.
05:48She will say that she would insist that he would raise his garment.
05:52Okay.
05:55Hold everything now.
05:57Cool it, quiet.
05:59You don't think so, gang?
06:02He has made a decision.
06:03He said that the man will raise the garment as a distress signal.
06:07I think so.
06:08Let's get Ann out here.
06:09Hello, Ann.
06:10Hello, what's going on out there?
06:11Well, we, you know, want you to make a decision now.
06:15Now, I see in this, you're shipwrecked,
06:17and you and this handsome young fellow are there all alone,
06:20and one of you has to take it off and run it up the flagpole.
06:25Now, which one will it be?
06:27We each have one garment.
06:28You each have one garment.
06:30Handsome young fellow, huh?
06:31Yeah, right.
06:34Well, mine would already be off, so we might as well use that.
06:42Yours would already be off, huh?
06:45Wrong answer?
06:46Handsome young fellow.
06:48Okay, Ann.
06:50I told you we had secrets.
06:52Bert said that you would insist on the fellow.
06:55Oh, really?
06:56Yeah.
06:57Yeah, that's what I said, Ann.
06:58You're in a lot of trouble, sweetheart.
06:59You can live with someone a long time and not really know them.
07:01Okay.
07:03All right, we thank you, and now we move along here to Joanne and Roger.
07:06Hello, Roger.
07:07Hello, G.
07:08Are you ready?
07:09No.
07:10Go ahead.
07:11Do you know Joanne Worley's mind?
07:13Obviously not.
07:16Whose garment would you use for the distress flag?
07:18What will she say to that?
07:20Well, obviously her garment would be the biggest.
07:28She can't hear me, can she?
07:29Why?
07:31You're in a heap of trouble, boss.
07:33You would be both.
07:35You're in a heap of trouble.
07:36No, I kid her a lot, and I pay for it.
07:39Yeah.
07:40All right.
07:41What would she say?
07:42Well, she's...
07:46No, I don't think so.
07:47Her.
07:48See, I thought she was...
07:49You know, she's from Indiana, so she's very shy.
07:51Yeah.
07:52But then yesterday, she said she wanted to know more about sex.
07:55So I would say the man's.
07:58The man's.
07:59That's right.
08:00All right, the man's garment would be used...
08:01Is that logical?
08:02...as a distress flag.
08:03No?
08:04Okay.
08:05I thought it was logical too, but...
08:06Are you ready?
08:07Is that your final decision?
08:08That's it, yeah.
08:09Okay, let's get Joanne out here.
08:10All right, Joanne.
08:11Yes.
08:12How would you respond to this?
08:13You're on the desert island.
08:14Good-looking young guy.
08:15As a matter of fact, you followed him all around the shipboard once before it sank.
08:19No.
08:20Well, whose garment would you use for the distress flag?
08:22Well, I can't wait to find out what Roger said.
08:25But I would...
08:27I'm assuming the man is Roger, so we would use his garment.
08:34That's what he said.
08:36Is that what he said?
08:37It's all him.
08:38Let her assume what she wants to.
08:40So, that means Joanne and Roger win this whole pot.
08:44Oh, terrific!
08:45That's right.
08:46I beg your pardon.
08:48Don and Harvey share in the pot too.
08:50So, at this moment, the scores have nothing for Ann and Bert.
08:5375 are Don and Harvey, and 75 are Joanne and Roger.
08:57We'll be back in a moment or so with more of Tattletales,
09:00more secrets from our celebrities, so you hurry right back.
09:05All right.
09:06We're ready to carry on here with more of Tattletales
09:09and share some of the secrets of our celebrities here.
09:12Before we go on, may I just say to Bert
09:15a brief word of thank you for letting me do this this week?
09:18It was my pleasure.
09:19It's a lot of fun.
09:20It is.
09:21I'm not doing it as good as you do it, but...
09:22No, no, you are.
09:23I'm having the time of my life, and I thank you.
09:25Well, it's our pleasure.
09:26I can assure you, Jim.
09:27Thank you.
09:28Thank you very much.
09:31Thank you for your polite applause.
09:33Listen, as you know, on Match Game,
09:35we have questions that, you know, we ask you to fill in a blank.
09:39We've adapted one for Tattletales here, and it goes like this.
09:43The question is for you ladies,
09:44and you guys will have to match what they say.
09:47Here it is, girls.
09:49If you want to ask your guy for something,
09:52to be sure you'll get yes for an answer,
09:55the best time to approach him
09:57is right after he's had blank.
10:01If you want to ask your guy for something,
10:03to be sure you'll get yes for an answer,
10:05the best time to approach him
10:07is right after he's had blank.
10:09We'll check with you in a moment or so.
10:11Do not respond now.
10:12We'll say goodbye momentarily to the ladies.
10:15Yeah, I've had blank for a long time.
10:19Sorry about that.
10:20That's okay.
10:21It's not the only thing in life, Gene.
10:23It's not the only thing in life.
10:25It's not the only thing in life.
10:28It's not the only thing in life, Gene.
10:32I can't tell you what else there is at the moment,
10:34but I know that instantly.
10:36Yes.
10:37I'm always much more approachable,
10:39much more easy and lovable
10:42after I've had a drink.
10:45A drink. Okay.
10:47Believe me, blue section.
10:51Okay.
10:52I do believe they believe you.
10:55Unless you can offer a better alternative.
10:57Yes.
10:58Nothing. All nodding heads.
10:59Okay.
11:00That's it.
11:01So, Harvey says Donna will say a drink.
11:03And let's get Donna out here right now.
11:06And we're going to find out
11:07what Donna's response to that is.
11:09If you want to ask your guy for something,
11:10to be sure you'll get yes for an answer,
11:11the best time to approach him
11:12is right after he's had blank.
11:15It's a toss-up.
11:16It is?
11:17Yeah.
11:18Between pizza and sex.
11:21Uh-oh.
11:23Between pizza and sex.
11:30But I said sex.
11:31That's the pizza.
11:34Oh, dear me.
11:38With or without sausage.
11:39Listen.
11:42I'd like to know.
11:43I don't understand.
11:44I don't know that woman anymore.
11:45I'd like to know a little more about your home life.
11:48Am I blushing or am I green?
11:50Anyway, Donna,
11:51needless to say,
11:52he didn't say pizza or sex.
11:54He said after a drink.
11:57Yeah, but we thank you
11:58for a little insight
11:59into what goes on
12:00in the Harvey Korman household.
12:03Now over to Ann and Bert.
12:05Now, Bert,
12:06how is Ann going to respond to this?
12:07The best time to approach him
12:08is right after he's had blank.
12:10Okay.
12:11It ain't pizza.
12:16Oh, you're an easygoing fellow.
12:18You're an easygoing fellow.
12:19You know what I mean?
12:20I mean...
12:21Boy, if she can get anything she wants
12:22out of you after pizza,
12:23I wish it was...
12:24I wish it was easy for me like that.
12:26Well, I tell you,
12:27I think that I'm vulnerable
12:28in a couple of times.
12:29Well, three.
12:30Actually, one is right after breakfast
12:32because I don't function well.
12:33Is that what you want to say?
12:34No.
12:35What I want to say is
12:36after...
12:37I really want to say the same thing
12:38because she says...
12:39After a drink?
12:40Yeah.
12:41She says I'm really particularly lovable
12:42after a drink.
12:43All right.
12:44Let's get Ann out here
12:45and find out what she says.
12:46Ann.
12:47To be sure you'll get yes for an answer,
12:48the best time to approach him
12:49is right after he's had blank.
12:50What do you put in that blank?
12:52Well, there are two possibilities.
12:55But this is a daytime show,
12:56so I'll go with coffee.
13:02Now, I said almost...
13:03You didn't say coffee, right?
13:05He didn't say coffee.
13:06He said the other way.
13:07He said...
13:08He said...
13:09No, no.
13:10The audience is appealing to the judge.
13:12They're saying coffee is a drink.
13:14No.
13:15No.
13:17No.
13:19Coffee...
13:22Coffee with booze in it.
13:23Booze.
13:24Irish coffee.
13:25I meant Irish coffee.
13:27Yeah, that's what I meant.
13:28In all honesty, I didn't mean booze.
13:30He meant booze.
13:31Okay.
13:32I was going to say breakfast, honey,
13:33but I thought...
13:34I meant to say Irish coffee.
13:35Yes, sir.
13:36You do not share...
13:37That doesn't count?
13:38Nice attempt at a recovery.
13:39You do not share in the pot.
13:40Thank you, Ann.
13:41Let's go to Roger Perrigare.
13:42Roger Perrigare.
13:44Roger's got a chance to pick up all the marbles here.
13:46What do you say Joanne is going to say?
13:48We'll get it.
13:49We'll get it.
13:50The best time to approach him
13:51is right after he's had blank.
13:52Yeah, I have two choices also,
13:53but you have to...
13:54In order to get a yes,
13:55you have to be awake.
13:56So I will say after...
13:58I'll go one better.
14:00After a few drinks.
14:02After a few drinks.
14:03Okay.
14:04Cool it now.
14:05Do not...
14:06No signs of approval or disapproval,
14:09if you please.
14:10Joanne Worley, come out here.
14:12Joanne Worley, come out here.
14:13There you are, Joanne.
14:14Hello.
14:15And here we are.
14:16And we need a response from you.
14:17To be sure you get yes for an answer,
14:19the best time to approach him
14:20is right after he's had blank.
14:21What do you put in that blank, Joanne?
14:23Well, there are several terrific choices.
14:25Yeah.
14:26But the one I'm going to say for television
14:28is a drink.
14:36A few drinks.
14:37Okay.
14:38Joanne and Roger...
14:41win all of the money in that pot.
14:43So the score now,
14:45zero there, 75 there, 225 there.
14:48Joanne and Roger ahead.
14:49It's turnabout time.
14:50Come on out, ladies.
14:52Gentlemen, go back there.
14:53We'll pause for this commercial
14:55as we switch places.
14:57Come right back.
15:06Here we go.
15:07Now, gentlemen, you go to a party.
15:09You're at a party.
15:10You're introduced to a fantastic-looking girl
15:13who finds you attractive.
15:15How do you react?
15:17One, flirtatious and sexy.
15:19Two, simply friendly.
15:21Or three, rather shy.
15:23She's a terrific-looking gal.
15:25She finds you attractive.
15:27We want to know how you react.
15:29Flirtatious and sexy,
15:30simply friendly or rather shy.
15:32Goodbye, gentlemen.
15:33And now, ladies,
15:35we talk to you.
15:37We talk to you.
15:38Beginning with Donna.
15:40What will he say?
15:42One, flirtatious and sexy.
15:44Two, simply friendly.
15:45Or three, rather shy.
15:47It's what he does, not what he says.
15:49Flirtatious and sexy.
15:50Flirtatious and sexy.
15:52That's what he does.
15:53That's what he does.
15:54Okay, we're going to find out
15:55what he does right now,
15:56or what he thinks he does.
15:58Here comes Harvey.
15:59Hello, Harvey.
16:00Hi, Gene.
16:01Flirtatious and sexy,
16:03simply friendly or rather shy.
16:07I can't help the sexy part.
16:09That's always there.
16:12I just add the flirtatious to it
16:14when a girl...
16:15So, all right.
16:17That's what she said, Harvey.
16:19Well, that means you will
16:20share in this part.
16:22Okay, thank you, sir.
16:23And now we go to Ann
16:26and ask her what Bert will say.
16:28Well, I've watched him
16:29and he's flirtatious and sexy.
16:31He is flirtatious and sexy?
16:32Yes, he is.
16:33Really?
16:34Uh-huh.
16:35Okay, let's get him out here
16:36and find out.
16:37There's Bert Convy.
16:39What does he say?
16:40Flirtatious and sexy,
16:41simply friendly or rather shy?
16:43Uh, at a party.
16:45Is Ann at the party?
16:47Uh...
16:49It has nothing to do with it.
16:50Don't ask extraneous questions.
16:51I'm sorry.
16:52Beautiful girl and...
16:54Terrific-looking girl.
16:55Yeah, terrific-looking girl.
16:56And you're at the party.
16:57What are you doing out there?
16:58You got your hands over her.
16:59And she did you a lot, too.
17:00Come on now, stop it, Gene.
17:01He thinks he's very attractive.
17:02Gene, there's a name
17:03for what you're doing.
17:04What's that?
17:05Come on now,
17:06would you make up your mind?
17:07Give us an answer.
17:08That's a sin,
17:09what you're doing right now.
17:10You can hear it all the way in there?
17:11I can hear it all the way in here.
17:12Flirtatious and sexy,
17:13simply friendly or rather shy?
17:14Well, I'm not, uh,
17:15I'm not noted for being
17:16particularly shy.
17:17I would say flirtatious and sexy.
17:19Congratulations.
17:21Okay.
17:22So you will share in that pot.
17:25Thank you.
17:26Now, thank you, Bert.
17:27Now we move along to Joanne Worley.
17:29What do you say he's gonna say?
17:31Well, I think Roger will assume, too,
17:33that I'm at the party.
17:34Therefore, he doesn't do flirtatious and sexy.
17:37What will he do?
17:38But he thinks his shy
17:39is flirtatious and sexy,
17:41without my knowing it.
17:42So I think he'll say shy.
17:44Rather shy.
17:45All right, we're gonna find out right now.
17:46Wait a minute.
17:47Cool it, everybody.
17:48Here comes Roger.
17:50Roger.
17:51Yes, I'm in trouble.
17:52Flirtatious and sexy,
17:53simply friendly or rather shy?
17:55What say you, sir?
17:56I know what she accuses me of,
17:58but I, uh, I really think
18:00that I just act simply friendly.
18:02Oh.
18:03Simply friendly.
18:04Well, that was a near miss.
18:05What did she say?
18:06She said rather shy, Roger.
18:08Rather shy.
18:09Oh, never at a party, no.
18:11Oh, Johnny, yes.
18:12Uh-uh.
18:13Flirtatious and sexy.
18:14No, no, no.
18:15So right now, let's see now.
18:16Who, uh, who is in that pot?
18:18Donna and Harvey and Anne and Bert.
18:20And so the score at this moment,
18:2275 for Anne and Bert,
18:23150 for Donna and Harvey,
18:25225 for Joanne and Roger.
18:29Okay.
18:30We'll come back in a moment or so,
18:32but first this message.
18:37Here we go.
18:38If you're ready, we're ready.
18:39All right.
18:40Are you ready, gentlemen?
18:41Here we go.
18:42Yes, we're ready.
18:43Men, when things go wrong,
18:44as they do in everyone's life,
18:45which of you is more apt
18:46to hit the panic button?
18:48When things go wrong,
18:49as they occasionally do,
18:50which of you is more apt
18:52to hit the panic button?
18:53Now, this is the doubling game.
18:55We're playing for $300.
18:57We're playing for $300
18:58instead of $150.
18:59Think about that
19:00as we say farewell
19:01to the gentlemen.
19:03And we talk to the ladies
19:04beginning with Donna.
19:05There's no question.
19:06No question about it.
19:07Who hits the panic button?
19:08Harvey hits the panic button.
19:09Harvey is the panic button hitter.
19:11No question.
19:12All right.
19:13Let's find out right now
19:14what's gonna happen.
19:15Here comes Harvey.
19:16There's Harvey.
19:17When things go wrong,
19:18as they do in everyone's life,
19:19which of you is more apt
19:20to hit the panic button?
19:22Me.
19:23Me.
19:25That's what she said, Harvey.
19:27Okay, so you're gonna share
19:28in the big doubling pot.
19:29Thank you, Harvey.
19:30And now let's go down
19:31to Ann and Bert.
19:32Ann, how is Bert
19:33gonna respond to this?
19:34This is really tough
19:35because we both do,
19:36but for different reasons.
19:38Oh, he goes,
19:39he hits the panic button
19:40for little, little things.
19:41He does.
19:42The world is coming to an end.
19:43He's W-toe.
19:44I think I'll say Bert.
19:45You think he'll say
19:46he will hit the panic button?
19:47I think he will.
19:48Okay, let's get Bert out here.
19:50There he is.
19:51Yes, yes.
19:52Handsome W.
19:53Star of his own show.
19:55Which of you is more apt
19:56to hit the panic button?
19:58Truly, I think Ann is.
20:04She said you.
20:05What does she know?
20:06What does she know?
20:07She's only been here, Gio,
20:08for lo these many years.
20:09Almost a perfect start.
20:10Sorry about that, old bean.
20:11Thank you, Bert.
20:12All the little things
20:13you go to pieces.
20:14Never mind, Ann.
20:15I don't wanna hear about it.
20:16He doesn't wanna hear about it.
20:17Joanne, how does Roger,
20:18what will Roger say to this?
20:19Roger thinks that I am
20:20absolutely hysterical,
20:21but I do it for a reason.
20:22I do it for a reason
20:23to get things done.
20:24I'm sure he's gonna say me.
20:25He's gonna say you.
20:26Okay, let's bring Roger out.
20:28Roger, which of you is more apt
20:30to hit the panic button?
20:31You or Joanne?
20:32Hello, red section.
20:33No question.
20:34Joanne.
20:35Yes!
20:36They share in the pot,
20:39Joanne and Roger.
20:40Donna and Harvey share
20:42in the doubling pot.
20:44And we've got Joanne and Roger,
20:48the winning couple.
20:49The red section wins.
20:51Congratulations.
20:54Okay, we'll come back
20:55to Tattletales
20:56in a moment or so
20:57for the final score,
20:58but first this.
21:01To the $375
21:03of the winning couple,
21:04we add $1,000,
21:05so the red section,
21:07$1,275.
21:09Gene Rayburn,
21:10join us next time.
21:11Goodbye.
21:13APPLAUSE
21:24Jack Clark speaking for Tattletales,
21:26a Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.