Synopsis. Yale Law School hopeful Spence Holmes and his buddy Hogan endure the most demeaning tasks in their jobs working for obnoxious attorneys. But when the friends discover the joys of sexy older women, they turn their passion into a hot business
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30♪ Live a right way, live a right way
00:00:37♪ Run the sun, the only one
00:00:42♪ Enough can't stop me
00:00:45I think that's what I like about you.
00:00:48The people you're still gonna meet.
00:00:50I know.
00:00:51The whole college experience still in front of you.
00:00:57You're right.
00:01:00You promise you're gonna write and call me?
00:01:02Hogan, man, what the hell are you doing?
00:01:04They're already on the D's.
00:01:06Mm-hmm.
00:01:10Hello, Professor Gigby.
00:01:12Come on.
00:01:14Gotta go.
00:01:16Gladys, I'm never gonna forget you.
00:01:19So hot.
00:01:20No, no, no, no, no.
00:01:21All right.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23I love you.
00:01:24I love you, Gladys.
00:01:25Get Clark.
00:01:27♪ Live a right way, live a right way
00:01:30Indigo Goldstein.
00:01:32Congratulations.
00:01:33♪ Live a right way, live a right way
00:01:37Dan Griffiths.
00:01:39Well done.
00:01:41Hi.
00:01:43Hey.
00:01:44Chris Prisner, magna cum laude.
00:01:46Hey, we're with you.
00:01:48We were supposed to take pictures before the ceremony.
00:01:50Yeah.
00:01:51I know, I, um...
00:01:53I'm sorry.
00:01:54I'm sorry.
00:01:55It's okay.
00:01:56Did he kill me?
00:01:57Here.
00:01:58Open it and put it on.
00:01:59Oh, my God.
00:02:00That is so sweet, Spence.
00:02:02Be back in a little bit.
00:02:04Oh.
00:02:05Aw.
00:02:06Be back in a little bit.
00:02:08Aw.
00:02:09Aw.
00:02:10That's nice.
00:02:11Fuck off, Hogan.
00:02:13Marshal Hogan III.
00:02:15That is her.
00:02:16That must be her.
00:02:17Shit.
00:02:18I think I just cut my dress off.
00:02:19Can I rip something off?
00:02:20Oh, thank you.
00:02:21You're such an ingrate, Hogan.
00:02:23Spence, please meet me in the quad after the ceremony
00:02:26for pictures with my family, okay?
00:02:28This is the photo that will define us for the rest of our lives.
00:02:31Where we met and fell in love.
00:02:36Spencer Holmes, with honors.
00:02:39Okay, I'll see you there.
00:02:41I love you.
00:02:52Congratulations.
00:02:56Ladies and gentlemen, meet our business class graduates.
00:03:10It's just not the same as standing in the quad in our cap and gown.
00:03:14I'm sorry, but I had to take Hogan home.
00:03:17You know he has a problem dumping in public bathrooms.
00:03:20Nice image, thanks.
00:03:22Look, we have a photo in front of my childhood treehouse.
00:03:25I built it when I was nine.
00:03:27Isn't that good enough?
00:03:29It's just not the same.
00:03:32Let's go get a drink.
00:03:34Okay.
00:03:39Hey, can I get a beer and a shot of tequila
00:03:43and a thumb in the ass for my girlfriend?
00:03:47Look, all our problems revolve
00:03:49around your geriatric-loving loser creep of a friend.
00:03:52And as soon as you outgrow him,
00:03:54the sooner you'll be to reaching your potential.
00:03:56Just enough with Hogan, please.
00:03:58No, no, Spencey.
00:04:00If you spend the rest of your life associating yourself with that vermin,
00:04:03you will become that vermin.
00:04:05Spencey, I love you.
00:04:07I just want what's best for you.
00:04:09I love you too, you know?
00:04:12Oh, my God.
00:04:14I'll be right back.
00:04:15Just so you know, he will not be in our wedding.
00:04:23What is that young man doing out there with Edith?
00:04:25I never saw anybody dance like that.
00:04:27Hey, are you sure they're dancing?
00:04:30If they're not, he owes me some fucking money.
00:04:34Hogan, what the hell is going on?
00:04:36I don't know.
00:04:38Fucking money.
00:04:40Hogan, what the hell are you doing?
00:04:42Spence, I'd like you to meet Edith Birnbaum.
00:04:46Hello.
00:04:48Marshall here says I'm the hottest chick at the party.
00:04:50What do you think?
00:04:52Yeah.
00:04:54Hogan, I'm sorry. I got to borrow you for one minute.
00:04:56One second. We'll be right back.
00:04:58What?
00:05:00You really think it's wise to get all grindy with our future boss's wife?
00:05:02Dude, she is so fucking fine, and you know it.
00:05:05Look at that little tush. Look at her tushy.
00:05:07I don't understand you.
00:05:09Hey, how's the graduation boy doing?
00:05:11Hey, all right.
00:05:13Hey, thanks for the party, Dad.
00:05:15Yeah, my pleasure, son, my pleasure.
00:05:17Yeah, Dad, thank you. You really outdid yourself.
00:05:19Just remember to mention Stan Birnbaum in your speech today.
00:05:22Guy never leaves his frigging house,
00:05:24but he came out for your graduation because he believes in you, son.
00:05:26Get you to Yale Law in no time.
00:05:28Stan, it's my boy right here. Here he is.
00:05:30Stan, huh?
00:05:32Nobody is more connected to Yale Law than Stan Birnbaum.
00:05:34Thank you for putting in the good word for me, by the way.
00:05:36Mrs. Holmes is responsible for that, Marshall.
00:05:38Maybe you should talk to her.
00:05:40Don't forget, Spence.
00:05:45Guess I lost that bet we had two years ago.
00:05:48What, what bet?
00:05:50I bet you wouldn't graduate.
00:05:52Oh, yeah? Oh, okay.
00:05:54Now I have to show you my tits.
00:05:56Really? That's so great.
00:05:58Excuse me.
00:06:00You want to touch them?
00:06:02Yes.
00:06:04Oh, this is a pretty thing.
00:06:06Casey Dixon.
00:06:08Aren't you just the most charming girl?
00:06:10Oh, it's nice to see you two getting along so well.
00:06:12Spencey, cake in ten minutes.
00:06:14Thanks, Mom.
00:06:16Excuse me.
00:06:20Where's Hogan?
00:06:22I don't know.
00:06:26Thank you all for being here today.
00:06:28First, I'd like to take this opportunity
00:06:30to thank my parents
00:06:32for all the love and support they've given me.
00:06:34I couldn't be more blessed.
00:06:38I'd also like to thank my girlfriend, Amanda,
00:06:40for all the...
00:06:42Oh, woo-hoo!
00:06:44I'll begin work next week
00:06:46at Birnbaum, Arthur,
00:06:48Hollis, Craft, and Steel.
00:06:50That's Birnbaum, Hollis,
00:06:52Arthur, Craft, and Steel.
00:06:54I'm sorry. I should probably learn that.
00:06:56In any case, I am very grateful
00:06:58to you, Mr. Birnbaum,
00:07:00and I look forward to working for you
00:07:02and learning a great deal.
00:07:04What can I say?
00:07:06I am a very lucky man.
00:07:24Sorry.
00:07:30Move, move!
00:07:40Okay.
00:07:42I don't think I ever actually begged a man before today.
00:07:44Well, what did Mr. Birnbaum say?
00:07:48Sorry, Spence, but, uh...
00:07:50he will no longer require
00:07:52your services at his firm.
00:07:56What about me?
00:07:58What about my services?
00:08:18You know what, Dad? It's okay.
00:08:20I got accepted into Baker. Maybe I should...
00:08:22Nonsense! No one's heard of Baker!
00:08:24We're gonna solve this one.
00:08:26Mm-hmm.
00:08:28There's a man at the club.
00:08:30Barry Stack is his name.
00:08:32He's an 18-holer, a fine man.
00:08:34A Yalie, and he's head of the biggest divorce firm in L.A.
00:08:36Not as connected as Birnbaum.
00:08:38But that's okay.
00:08:40I'll make a call on your behalf.
00:08:42Thanks, Dad.
00:08:44What about Marshall?
00:08:48Well, he's practically family, Fred.
00:08:50And I'm sure he's very sorry for what happened, aren't you, dear?
00:08:52Yes, I am. I really and truly am.
00:08:54Thanks, Mom.
00:08:56Come on, Dad. Give him another chance.
00:09:00Fine.
00:09:02Fine, fine, fine.
00:09:04If he screws this up, he's out permanently, Mom.
00:09:06No problem.
00:09:08And for you, son,
00:09:10I would be disappointed beyond repair.
00:09:12Dad?
00:09:16Excuse me.
00:09:18Yes, sir.
00:09:24Mmm.
00:09:30I'll try Mr. Stack again.
00:09:32All right.
00:09:36Oh, nice.
00:09:38Oh, nice.
00:09:40Beautiful.
00:09:42Good, good, good.
00:09:44Mr. Stack, your interview is here.
00:09:46I'm coming.
00:09:50He'll be right out.
00:09:52Thank you.
00:09:54You look so...
00:09:56refreshing today.
00:09:58A little flower. It's a very sweet touch.
00:10:00You look lovely.
00:10:02Stop.
00:10:14You're so fucking good-looking.
00:10:22Ah.
00:10:32What was that?
00:10:34I don't know.
00:10:48Why the hell are you two just sitting there?
00:10:50Huh?
00:10:52Did you pass the bar yet?
00:10:54Haven't been to law school yet, sir.
00:10:56Oh, we haven't been to law school yet, sir.
00:10:58So, you're just a couple of shit turds.
00:11:00Excuse me?
00:11:02Yes, sir, we are.
00:11:04Do you shit turds want to work here?
00:11:06Yes, sir.
00:11:08Well, then why am I looking for my ball,
00:11:10and you're just sitting there!
00:11:14And you!
00:11:16Those plants,
00:11:18they need dusting.
00:11:20Plants?
00:11:22Uh, dusting?
00:11:24Good. Good, good, good.
00:11:26You're hired. You're hired.
00:11:28You're all fucking hired.
00:11:30He forgets sometimes.
00:11:32He hired me over 15 years ago.
00:11:34Oh.
00:11:36Is that Mr. Stack?
00:11:38No, that was Mr. Archibald.
00:11:40But don't worry, he has hiring and firing privileges, too.
00:11:42I'll show you where we keep the plant maintenance kit.
00:11:44Don't they have plant maintenance people
00:11:46for stuff like that?
00:11:48They only come once a week.
00:11:50Mr. Archibald likes it done twice.
00:11:52It's okay.
00:11:54Once you make partner,
00:11:56you won't have to do it anymore.
00:11:58Good morning, Angelenos.
00:12:00It's gonna be a hot muggy one out there today,
00:12:02busting up to the century mark.
00:12:04And on to the news.
00:12:06The stock market is up 12 points,
00:12:08and in sports, the L.A. Cougars
00:12:10won the W.A.B.A. Championship
00:12:12by 16 points.
00:12:14And in entertainment news,
00:12:16it says here 60 sex symbol
00:12:18Batty Stevens was seen walking aimlessly
00:12:20on Pacific Coast Highway.
00:12:22That's right, that's what it said.
00:12:26Ah!
00:12:28You bar-flunking freak!
00:12:30Where in the hell did you get these numbers?
00:12:32I don't know.
00:12:36It's that Carl guy.
00:12:38You know what I heard?
00:12:40Poor bastard fucks the file cabinets
00:12:42to blow off steam.
00:12:44You butt-licker!
00:12:46What part of your maggot-rotten brain
00:12:48shake out these numbers?
00:12:50Well, obviously, I made a mistake.
00:12:52Well, obviously, and now Sarah Tucker's
00:12:54alimony is on the line.
00:12:56Better fix it.
00:12:58Best piece of ass I've ever had.
00:13:00Did you hear that?
00:13:02The best piece of ass he's ever had.
00:13:04Who brought you in here, anyway?
00:13:06Well, um, my Uncle William
00:13:08and Mr. Conrad.
00:13:10Well, that's not gonna save you when you flunk the bar
00:13:12next month, because next month
00:13:14you're gonna be good and fired.
00:13:16I hope not.
00:13:18Good and fired!
00:13:20Hey, Carl!
00:13:22Do you need to use the bathroom, or did you already shit in your pants?
00:13:24I might have dripped a little bit.
00:13:26That wasn't a real question,
00:13:28you taint-licking hemorrhoid.
00:13:32These guys are fuckers.
00:13:34I gotta go get the file boxes.
00:13:36Listen up, would you?
00:14:04Hi.
00:14:08Hi.
00:14:10What's up?
00:14:12Are you gay?
00:14:14What?
00:14:16No.
00:14:18No.
00:14:20Whoa, big fella down.
00:14:22That's not polite to point in the office.
00:14:24Wanna plant that mushroom?
00:14:26A little young for me,
00:14:28but oh, for you.
00:14:30Yes.
00:14:34I have to get the file boxes.
00:14:36Okay.
00:14:38Take care of some business while you're out here.
00:14:40I'm gonna push out a little turtle head.
00:14:42I'll meet you back in there.
00:14:44Hey, hey, hey, you two, shit-turt guys.
00:14:46Get in here and get the jelly out of my toes.
00:14:52Yeah, I want you to really get in there.
00:14:54Under the nail.
00:14:56And give us a nice trim when you're down there.
00:15:00What's going on with Doreen Wise?
00:15:02I gave you that lead a week ago.
00:15:04I'm on it.
00:15:06I'm sending an employee over to the Formosa
00:15:08Wednesday at 6,
00:15:10because that's when her husband meets his girlfriend.
00:15:12Took you a fucking week to figure that out?
00:15:14There was some confusion about which restaurant.
00:15:16Whatever. Send someone fucking good this time.
00:15:22Ouch!
00:15:24Sorry, sorry.
00:15:26I didn't know this was part of your body.
00:15:28Ugh!
00:15:32Oh, that's good, that's good.
00:15:34That's good, that's good.
00:15:38Anything else, sir?
00:15:40Yeah, yeah, there is.
00:15:42I got this little piece
00:15:44of dried-up shit-turt
00:15:46that needs to be pulled out of my ass.
00:15:48Come on.
00:15:52I'm kidding you!
00:15:54Ha, ha, ha!
00:15:56Get up!
00:16:04Dude, these lawyers
00:16:06are a bunch of sweaty jackals
00:16:08feeding off of, like,
00:16:10the weak and sick and injured
00:16:12little gazelles and shit.
00:16:14I mean, do you really want one of these
00:16:16scavengers referring you to Yale?
00:16:18Right now,
00:16:20she's the best contact I have,
00:16:22and there's no reason you should stay here.
00:16:26Where the hell am I gonna go?
00:16:28Go wherever you want.
00:16:30Spence,
00:16:32now, you know I can't stand
00:16:34anyone that isn't a hot older woman
00:16:36or you.
00:16:38So wherever you go, I follow.
00:16:40This may sound a little weak, lame,
00:16:42even a little gay to some people.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:46But fuck it. I know what I like.
00:16:48Hogan.
00:16:52I want you to Yale.
00:16:54Carl!
00:16:56Out of my office, butt licker!
00:17:02Hey, shit turd!
00:17:04Grab your shit turd friend
00:17:06and get in here!
00:17:08Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:12Hogan!
00:17:22Hey!
00:17:30Silver BMW,
00:17:32535.
00:17:34It's in the parking lot in the golf club in Bel Air.
00:17:36Here's the license plate.
00:17:38Find it and slash the tires.
00:17:40Go, now!
00:17:42Isn't that illegal?
00:17:44Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:46Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:48Okay, no, I know that it's illegal,
00:17:50but why would you want us
00:17:52to do something illegal?
00:17:54My guess would be that the driver
00:17:56has an afternoon court appearance
00:17:58that if he were to miss
00:18:00would cause him to severely fall out of favor
00:18:02with the judge.
00:18:04Considering that it's probably over custody
00:18:06or some sticky issue like that,
00:18:08the judge would look more favorably
00:18:10on the party that's actually in the courtroom
00:18:12standing in front of him.
00:18:14Very good, shit turd's friend.
00:18:16Now, when you're done with that,
00:18:18you deliver these papers to my wife.
00:18:20She's at some bake sale with her girlfriends.
00:18:22The address is on the envelope.
00:18:24Tell her she can have her divorce,
00:18:26long as she understands
00:18:28that she's now totally fucked.
00:18:30Tell her that, verbatim.
00:18:32Yes, sir.
00:18:34You're still here, why?
00:18:46Dude, these guys make so much fucking bank here.
00:18:48I'm quitting my job.
00:18:50Hey, assholes.
00:18:52I've been riding here for five minutes.
00:18:54You know, I don't want to put you out or anything,
00:18:56but do you mind fetching my car?
00:18:58Stud man.
00:19:00Stud man!
00:19:02Of course we help you.
00:19:04I run for studs.
00:19:06What are you going to do?
00:19:08I don't know, a couple of things feel good to me.
00:19:10Okay, I go fast for you now.
00:19:12I'll be right back.
00:19:14Okay, I go fast for you now.
00:19:16It's a couple of jerk-off valet parkers.
00:19:18So listen, I change you the country's love
00:19:20and I'll be in court within the hour.
00:19:22What the fuck are you looking at?
00:19:24Okay.
00:19:26Just some valet puke.
00:19:28Give me the stink eye.
00:19:30Listen, wrap up the Chicago deal.
00:19:32Let's get to Vegas.
00:19:34Yeah, I got 14 times the strippers lined up.
00:19:36No, I'm not bringing my wife.
00:19:38What are you talking about?
00:19:40She started taking me to cleaners in this divorce.
00:19:42She was a good court reporter from the study case.
00:19:44She was pretty good orally, but I tell you,
00:19:46she had a snatch the size of Lincoln Tunnel.
00:19:48Like fucking a warm bucket of water.
00:19:50No, but I'll give you five straight.
00:19:56What the fuck?
00:19:58It's a little sticky coming out a second,
00:20:00but other than that...
00:20:02I'm going to kick your face in!
00:20:04Holy shit, man, come on, let's go!
00:20:06Go, go, go, go!
00:20:08Go, go, go!
00:20:12That was crazy, Hogan.
00:20:14I think maybe you took that one a little too far.
00:20:16What?
00:20:18You have a job, you do it right.
00:20:20This is it.
00:20:22Whoa.
00:20:24That'll work on your accent, by the way.
00:20:26Really?
00:20:28It was terrible. I told you to prepare.
00:20:30I thought it was pretty good.
00:20:32You almost blew it.
00:20:38Come in.
00:20:40Peggy.
00:20:56And it will go with anything you're wearing.
00:20:58Or not wearing.
00:21:00This one, my little darlings,
00:21:02is called the fire alarm.
00:21:04And trust me,
00:21:06where your orgasms are concerned,
00:21:08all of you,
00:21:10this one is the four-alarm fire
00:21:12that you have been begging for.
00:21:16Feline metropolitanus.
00:21:18Cougars.
00:21:22Oh, my God, look at the variety.
00:21:24Oh, my God,
00:21:26we got some Rolls Royce, very hard to name.
00:21:30Some Cadillacs, a little bit easier.
00:21:32Oh, my God, a Trans Am.
00:21:34Not exactly my flavor,
00:21:36but it definitely has appeal.
00:21:38Oh, my God, my personal favorite.
00:21:40Silver Fox.
00:21:42So many possibilities in one setting.
00:21:44Down.
00:21:46Thank you very much.
00:21:48We'll have some.
00:21:54This is a private party,
00:21:56but what can I do for you two
00:21:58hunky hunks?
00:22:00We are Spence Holmes
00:22:02and Marshall Hogan III,
00:22:04and we're looking for a Daniela Stagg.
00:22:08And what is this regarding?
00:22:10Well, we work for her husband,
00:22:12and he, uh,
00:22:14wanted us to give her this.
00:22:16Oh.
00:22:18Well, then you work for my husband, too.
00:22:20I'm Teddy Archibald.
00:22:22No way.
00:22:26So, uh, what exactly
00:22:28goes on at this sort of party?
00:22:30Well, we're just looking to spice up
00:22:32the party just a little bit.
00:22:34Ah, yeah, I see. I see.
00:22:36Marshall, what a pleasant surprise.
00:22:38Thanks.
00:22:42Ladies, meet Marshall Hogan III.
00:22:44Our spectacular
00:22:46afternoon together
00:22:48became my inspiration
00:22:50for finding Lulu here
00:22:52and her Art of Pleasure
00:22:54schooling.
00:22:56Praise the clitoris edis.
00:22:58Yes.
00:23:00Thank you for your kind
00:23:02of Mr. Hogan's tutelage,
00:23:04and my life's mission
00:23:06is to help you experience
00:23:08an awakening such as mine.
00:23:10Aside from handling me
00:23:12so expertly,
00:23:14he suggested I switch
00:23:16to the Vivelle Dot
00:23:18Hormone Replacement Therapy,
00:23:20and I must say
00:23:22it's worked wonders.
00:23:24Wonderful.
00:23:26Marshall,
00:23:28perhaps you
00:23:30and your friend
00:23:32can help us out.
00:23:34Anything.
00:23:36Well,
00:23:38maybe
00:23:40we could gather
00:23:42a group of your friends
00:23:44who enjoy doing what you enjoy doing,
00:23:46and we could
00:23:48connect them
00:23:50with my friends
00:23:52who enjoy doing what I enjoy doing.
00:23:54Oh.
00:24:04Sounds like the cougars need their prayer.
00:24:06Well said.
00:24:08We'll be in touch.
00:24:10Now, ladies,
00:24:12Lulu will take your orders here.
00:24:18Cindy Conrad,
00:24:20let me formally introduce you
00:24:22to Spence Holmes
00:24:24and Marshall Hogan.
00:24:26They work for the firm.
00:24:28Ah, so you know that ass-waxing prick
00:24:30that I'm married to.
00:24:32Have you seen that Daniella
00:24:34around? May have something for her.
00:24:36Yeah, I dragged her here.
00:24:38She's inside somewhere.
00:24:40Mmm, happy birthday to me.
00:24:42If you want,
00:24:44I can give the papers to Daniella.
00:24:46That's okay, Teddy.
00:24:48I'll take them.
00:24:52Oops.
00:24:58I assume he finally
00:25:00signed my divorce papers.
00:25:02Yep.
00:25:04Um,
00:25:06and he, uh,
00:25:08he also said, he said
00:25:10he wanted us to say, um,
00:25:12well, could,
00:25:14he wanted to...
00:25:16Hello.
00:25:18Hello.
00:25:20Could, he wanted to...
00:25:22Hello. Marshall Hogan III.
00:25:24It's nice to see you again, and may I say
00:25:26you deserve a future of lasting happiness and peace.
00:25:28And may I also say
00:25:30you probably never looked or felt better in your life.
00:25:32Am I right?
00:25:34Daniella Stack.
00:25:36This is my best friend,
00:25:38Spencer Holmes. Hi.
00:25:40Daniella Darin.
00:25:42Nice to meet you.
00:25:44Hi.
00:25:46Our job is done
00:25:48here,
00:25:50and, uh,
00:25:52we hope to see you again.
00:25:54I hope so.
00:25:56Hi.
00:26:00Stop saying hi.
00:26:02Hi.
00:26:04You're dehydrated.
00:26:06Hi.
00:26:08Hi.
00:26:10Hi.
00:26:18I mean,
00:26:20she just looked right at me
00:26:22and said,
00:26:24I hope so.
00:26:26Oh, my God,
00:26:28what am I going to do?
00:26:30You know what you're going to do?
00:26:32Whatever the fuck you want.
00:26:34Now, you want to be with this woman, be with this woman.
00:26:36Be with her and Amanda. Who cares? Be with all of them.
00:26:38Yeah, Stack, too. Fuck him.
00:26:40Good and hard. Turn up your ass.
00:26:42Just fucking do what you want.
00:26:44I'll tell you what else you're going to do.
00:26:46What? This Edith thing.
00:26:48Dude, right now, my whole life revolves around Yale Law.
00:26:50I know, and you're going to Yale Law.
00:26:52Okay, I have no doubt about that,
00:26:54but that's, like, the future.
00:26:56I'm talking now, and you're doing this Edith thing.
00:26:58What are you talking about?
00:27:00Edith! Edith!
00:27:02And the cougars.
00:27:04What?
00:27:06You want us to charge them to have sex with us?
00:27:08No.
00:27:10No.
00:27:12We charge our friends
00:27:14to have sex with them.
00:27:16All right.
00:27:18You see? Now, listen.
00:27:20We start a little country club, okay?
00:27:22A cougar club, if you will, right?
00:27:24And we charge membership fees and shit like that.
00:27:26Is that legal?
00:27:28Fuck it! Yes! I don't know.
00:27:30Who cares?
00:27:32I care. I have to.
00:27:34I, uh...
00:27:36No. No, no, no, no, no.
00:27:38I can't do a cougar club.
00:27:40Spatz, would you stop saying no to everything?
00:27:42Do you not get bored of that?
00:27:44Say yes.
00:27:46Yes, because it feels so good.
00:27:48Yes, because
00:27:50you've never taken a risk in your life, my friend.
00:27:52Yes, because Daniella Darren said,
00:27:54I hope so!
00:27:56Yes, because
00:27:58Edith Birnbaum fucking demands it.
00:28:00Supply us nice, horny cougars
00:28:02with nice, horny, young prey.
00:28:04Ha.
00:28:06Shit. Why can't I ever say yes to you?
00:28:08Because sometimes
00:28:10Spencey says no when he means yes.
00:28:12Thank you, Mom.
00:28:14Thanks, Mom.
00:28:16Okay, well,
00:28:18night. Night.
00:28:20Mmm.
00:28:26Because sometimes Spencey
00:28:28says no when he means yes.
00:28:30That was a fucking omen! Okay, Hogan, shut up.
00:28:32For once in your life,
00:28:34would you do something just for you?
00:28:36Say what you really want to say.
00:28:40How will it work?
00:28:44We'll target 100 guys to start.
00:28:46That first group will pay $500
00:28:48for the first year to join.
00:28:50Any members after that will pay $1,000.
00:28:52They'll have direct access
00:28:54to all our cougar-sponsored events.
00:28:56Now, that includes access to profiles,
00:28:58phone numbers, the whole thing.
00:29:00And on the women's side, Edith will be out in the wild
00:29:02gathering our hunters, marking them
00:29:04with a gold Cougar Club necklace.
00:29:06All of our picks
00:29:08to strive to be with and to embrace
00:29:10the older woman or the cougar.
00:29:12And finally, we'll save room
00:29:14for our one must-join.
00:29:16You tell me when, okay?
00:29:18You tell me when.
00:29:20You tell me
00:29:22when.
00:29:24You wanna hold this?
00:29:26You wanna hold it?
00:29:28You look right at me.
00:29:30You wanna hold that?
00:29:32You wanna hold that?
00:29:34Oh.
00:29:36Carl.
00:29:40How long has this disaster been going on, man?
00:29:42Too long.
00:29:44We're concerned, Carl.
00:29:46Yeah.
00:29:48And we understand your need here. We do.
00:29:50It's just maybe you and your little
00:29:52plastic friend would like to bang something
00:29:54other than the files. Like what?
00:29:56Like a woman? Yeah.
00:29:58For God's sakes.
00:30:00Yeah, right.
00:30:02Not just any woman, no.
00:30:04Larry Archibald's woman.
00:30:06His mistress?
00:30:08No, dude, his wife.
00:30:10We're starting a cougar
00:30:12club for guys just like you,
00:30:14and we want you to be a member.
00:30:16You do?
00:30:18Yeah.
00:30:20Now, it's 500 bucks a join,
00:30:22but it's well worth all the access
00:30:24you're gonna have, not only to Archibald's wife,
00:30:26but all the other wives and
00:30:28the cougar friends they're gonna bring with them.
00:30:30Yeah, but 500 dollars,
00:30:32that's... I mean, God, I...
00:30:38Okay, you know what? Yes. Please, yes.
00:30:40Yeah, all right.
00:30:42What's a cougar?
00:30:46We'll explain later.
00:30:48Make yourself helpful.
00:30:52Congratulations.
00:30:54Thank you.
00:30:56Mario.
00:30:58Here you go.
00:31:00Have a nice walk in the club.
00:31:02Oh, thanks.
00:31:04Whoa. You're hot.
00:31:10All right, welcome to the club.
00:31:12Homies.
00:31:14All right, honey.
00:31:16Okay.
00:31:18Welcome to cougar club.
00:31:20Yeah!
00:31:22All right, now, all of your credit cards
00:31:24will be swiped at every event
00:31:26to ensure that all payments
00:31:28have been received. If they're not,
00:31:30you will have the opportunity to make
00:31:32these payments at the event.
00:31:34Now, for a little taste
00:31:36of what your new membership's gonna bring you.
00:31:40Mmm.
00:31:42Whoo!
00:31:44Sweet!
00:31:46Yeah, this little sweetie's name
00:31:48is Ingrid Stone, subcategory Ferrari.
00:31:50She's a
00:31:52divorcee, working at one of
00:31:54L.A.'s finest financial firms,
00:31:56and she enjoys
00:31:58the head rest she gets from a vertical 69.
00:32:04So,
00:32:06gentlemen,
00:32:08let the hunt begin.
00:32:10Yeah!
00:32:12Whoo!
00:32:24Sorry, Dolly.
00:32:26Fucking dog!
00:32:28Hey, shit-turd,
00:32:30meet me in my office.
00:32:32Shouldn't I
00:32:34clean the bathrooms first?
00:32:36You heard me. Get in here.
00:32:38So,
00:32:40why are you working at this firm,
00:32:42shit-turd?
00:32:44Can you please stop calling me
00:32:46shit-turd?
00:32:48Why
00:32:50are you here,
00:32:52shit-turd?
00:32:54I want
00:32:56real-world experience
00:32:58before I attend law school.
00:33:00Well, most people go straight to law school. Why didn't you?
00:33:02Well, I was accepted to
00:33:04Baker and Anderson Lee.
00:33:06Never heard of them. Right, right.
00:33:08And what school weren't you accepted to?
00:33:10Well, that would be Yale, sir.
00:33:12Now, you see,
00:33:14that one I've heard of.
00:33:16So, when I asked you why you were here,
00:33:18you didn't tell me the truth, did you?
00:33:20Oh, oh.
00:33:22The truth is, you're here
00:33:24because you need me to give you a
00:33:26recommendation letter to guarantee you
00:33:28acceptance into Yale.
00:33:30You're here because you're too stupid to get it on your own,
00:33:32and you need me to help do it
00:33:34for you.
00:33:36Now, it seems your
00:33:38dear old dad
00:33:40is on his hands and knees
00:33:42ready to blow to make sure
00:33:44his shit-turd of a son gets into
00:33:46Yale.
00:33:48Now, what do you think I should tell dear old
00:33:50dad?
00:33:54I don't know.
00:33:56Well, I think you should tell him
00:33:58that you're my bitch.
00:34:00And maybe if you do
00:34:02everything I tell you, your shit-turd
00:34:04ass might wind up
00:34:06in Yale.
00:34:10Who authorized you
00:34:12to change the locks to my house?
00:34:14You did. Read the prenup, sugar.
00:34:16You know I still have my things in there, don't you?
00:34:18Look, if you can't
00:34:20read the prenup, why don't you have your lawyer
00:34:22or some hack read it
00:34:24for you? Or, if you want to make it easy
00:34:26on yourself, just stay
00:34:28married to me.
00:34:30I'd rather be dead.
00:34:32And by the way,
00:34:34this box of lingerie,
00:34:38not mine.
00:34:40You son of a bitch.
00:34:52Don't you have a toilet bowl to lick dry?
00:34:54Yep.
00:35:02Are you okay?
00:35:04Go. Go.
00:35:06Go.
00:35:10What's going on?
00:35:16Hey.
00:35:18Hi.
00:35:20What you did back there
00:35:22was good.
00:35:24It was really good.
00:35:26And I just want you to know
00:35:28that
00:35:30if you need a place to stay,
00:35:32you can stay at my house.
00:35:34Let me give you my number.
00:35:36That's very sweet, but I'm staying with a friend.
00:35:38Nice to see you again,
00:35:40Spence.
00:35:42Wait, wait, wait.
00:35:44Would it be totally inappropriate
00:35:46to invite you to dinner?
00:35:48I just don't think I'm ready
00:35:50to see anybody right now.
00:35:54Thanks for asking.
00:35:56It's nice to be asked.
00:36:00Okay.
00:36:10I just invite her to stay at my parents' house.
00:36:14Wow.
00:36:16What am I doing?
00:36:22Archibald just called me.
00:36:24He's squealing for a foot scrub.
00:36:26I told him he'd be right up.
00:36:30And stay away from the wives.
00:36:32Present, future.
00:36:34Pass.
00:36:36Got it, dickhole?
00:36:40Come on, Carl.
00:36:42Okay.
00:36:44Let's go.
00:36:46Careful.
00:36:48All their antennas are up.
00:36:50Night, boys.
00:36:52Good night, my little carnation.
00:36:54Okay.
00:36:56Thank you, baby.
00:36:58Bye.
00:37:02Is Conrad's wife hot?
00:37:04I don't remember.
00:37:06Yeah, but she's like 38.
00:37:08Little young for me.
00:37:10I'll do her anyway.
00:37:12That way Carl here can do Archibald's wife.
00:37:14I'll hit Conrad's.
00:37:16You can hit Stagg's.
00:37:18I'm not hitting Stagg's wife.
00:37:20I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:37:22Oh, shit.
00:37:24Hi.
00:37:26No?
00:37:28Get in.
00:37:30There you go.
00:37:32See you at home.
00:37:38Hi.
00:37:40That's a nice surprise.
00:37:56So?
00:37:58Why are you avoiding me?
00:38:00I'm not.
00:38:02I just...
00:38:04Work has been really...
00:38:06If you have something important to say to me,
00:38:08then just say it.
00:38:10Amanda, I don't.
00:38:12I just want to go in and go to sleep.
00:38:14Fine.
00:38:16Let's go in and go to sleep.
00:38:18I can't sleep with you
00:38:20at my parents' house.
00:38:22That's right.
00:38:24I think you should move in with me.
00:38:26Amanda.
00:38:28We are ready for that next step, Spencey.
00:38:30Our first apartment.
00:38:32I'm even willing to cover the rent
00:38:34because I know you'll be facing
00:38:36enormous law school bills
00:38:38and I know my assistance to you
00:38:40will be paid back to me tenfold
00:38:42once you're out of law school
00:38:44and we're married.
00:38:46It'll be like that movie
00:38:48Pay It Forward with Kevin Spacey.
00:38:50You'll be Helen Hunt.
00:38:52I just... I'm not...
00:38:54Shh, shh, shh. Just think about it.
00:38:56It's perfect.
00:38:58Okay?
00:39:00Lip gloss, though.
00:39:02Bye.
00:39:24Here we go.
00:39:28You boys sleep tight.
00:39:30See?
00:39:32You think Amanda's gonna do shit like this for you?
00:39:34What are you doing?
00:39:36This is avocado and banana.
00:39:38You use this stuff, you never go bald.
00:39:40Really?
00:39:42It's supposed to.
00:39:44So, um, what's the deal again
00:39:46with Mrs. Birnbaum?
00:39:48Now, Edith's gonna get a ten percent fee
00:39:50for supplying us with hundreds of hot cougars.
00:39:52Totally worth it.
00:39:54Wow.
00:39:56Did you give her the divorcee files from the office?
00:39:58Totally set up for success.
00:40:00Now, all we need is one kick-ass party
00:40:02to get the word of mouth we kinda need to expand here.
00:40:04And I'm gonna go all the way
00:40:06with this cougar club thing.
00:40:08I'm talking Internet, magazines, calendars.
00:40:10I'm gonna go full-on nationwide organization.
00:40:12It's burning!
00:40:14Man, you should really just wash that out.
00:40:16Yes! Whew!
00:40:20So where should our first party be?
00:40:22Marshall, I just don't know
00:40:24how to thank you for this.
00:40:26Manhattan Beach is one of our absolute favorites, isn't it, Fred?
00:40:28Oh, no. Are you kidding me?
00:40:30Thank you for letting me show my gratitude to you two.
00:40:32Oh, isn't that sweet, Fred?
00:40:34Okay.
00:40:36Hey, what are you guys doing tonight?
00:40:38Tonight's gonna be a big night, actually,
00:40:40because we have a meeting all over.
00:40:42Might, uh, have a few people over,
00:40:44watch some movies, play some games.
00:40:46Naked Marco Polo.
00:40:48That sounds nice. Well, there are plenty of sodas in the fridge.
00:40:50Have a good time.
00:40:52Thanks, Mom.
00:40:54Come on.
00:40:56Do you have any idea
00:40:58how much hot cougar ass is gonna be here tonight?
00:41:00Completely out of control.
00:41:02All three of the boss's wives
00:41:04are gonna be represented.
00:41:06Operation Boss's Wife Fuck
00:41:08is definitely a go.
00:41:10Let's see.
00:41:12Bye-bye!
00:41:14Okay, calm down.
00:41:16Yeah, okay, seriously, calm down.
00:41:18Bro, bitches!
00:41:24Whoa!
00:41:26Rooting cougar motherfuckers!
00:41:28Coming at you!
00:41:40Teddy, Archibald.
00:41:44Hey, you look ravishing tonight,
00:41:46don't you guys?
00:41:48Well, thank you, Hogan.
00:41:50Oh, you're so welcome.
00:41:52Teddy, Archibald,
00:41:54I'd like you to meet Carl Dessler.
00:41:56Hello, Carl.
00:41:58Hi.
00:42:04I'm not sure
00:42:06she's even a woman.
00:42:08I'm not sure he'll even notice.
00:42:14Cindy
00:42:16Conrad is here.
00:42:18Oh.
00:42:20I remember now. Trans-Am.
00:42:22Uh-huh.
00:42:26Holy shit, she's here.
00:42:28Vince? No. Kate?
00:42:30Come on, don't.
00:42:32What's up now?
00:42:34Cindy!
00:42:36Conrad!
00:42:38Marshall Hogan!
00:42:40It's so good to see you again.
00:42:42Wanna fuck?
00:42:44Come on.
00:42:50Okay.
00:43:00Hi, Vince.
00:43:02Hi.
00:43:06Can I, uh, get you
00:43:08a drink or anything?
00:43:10Yeah?
00:43:12Do you mind if I...?
00:43:14Thanks.
00:43:16So,
00:43:18how's it going?
00:43:20A little better.
00:43:22He's dating someone he thinks he could marry,
00:43:24so I'm hearing less from him,
00:43:26which is great.
00:43:28Can I ask you something?
00:43:30Why did I marry him in the first place?
00:43:32No, no, no, I didn't mean to pry.
00:43:34It's just that you are too beautiful
00:43:36and smart and nice
00:43:38to be married to a guy like him.
00:43:40I won't miss the way you're looking at me right now.
00:43:42Everyone looks at me that way
00:43:44when they hear he's my husband.
00:43:46I feel bad for you.
00:43:48Well, don't, because I kind of hate that.
00:43:50I'm not a victim. I left.
00:43:54Look, um,
00:43:56Cindy dragged me here tonight,
00:43:58but it's really not my scene.
00:44:00I'm not into a meaningless relationship
00:44:02with some guy who wasn't even born before disco.
00:44:06Excuse me.
00:44:08Wait.
00:44:28And...
00:44:30Bam.
00:44:34Uh-oh.
00:44:36Hide.
00:44:38Seek.
00:44:42It's in there.
00:44:44Uh-oh.
00:44:50Ow!
00:44:58Sorry about the bag.
00:45:00The king size is on back orders.
00:45:02Do you and Hogan share room?
00:45:04What?
00:45:06No.
00:45:08No, no, no.
00:45:10Nope.
00:45:12Ah.
00:45:14Ha.
00:45:28Ow!
00:45:30Do you feel...
00:45:36my feet?
00:45:46Ow.
00:45:54Mm.
00:45:56Oh, just...
00:45:58Just...
00:46:00Okay.
00:46:02Mm-hmm.
00:46:04Mm-hmm.
00:46:06Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:46:08Mm-hmm.
00:46:10Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:46:12Shh.
00:46:14Shh.
00:46:18Okay.
00:46:20No more shoes.
00:46:22I'm ready.
00:46:24I know. I can feel it.
00:46:26So young.
00:46:28Yeah, so young.
00:46:34Oh.
00:46:36Mm.
00:46:38Mm.
00:46:40Oh.
00:46:42Mm.
00:46:44Mm.
00:46:46Mm.
00:46:48Oh, yeah.
00:46:50Pinky time.
00:46:56Mm.
00:46:58You know that if you smack my ass,
00:47:00it doesn't move?
00:47:02Yeah. Go ahead.
00:47:04Smack it.
00:47:06Punch it if you want to. Go ahead.
00:47:08Smack it.
00:47:10Smack it.
00:47:12Hey.
00:47:14Ha, ha, ha.
00:47:18Mommy.
00:47:26You gonna do it again?
00:47:28Yep.
00:47:46Holy shit.
00:47:50It's my parents.
00:47:52Spencer,
00:47:54you're a 22-year-old man.
00:47:56You're allowed to have sex.
00:47:58No, it's not the sex part.
00:48:00It's the party part.
00:48:06Holy shit.
00:48:08It's Barry.
00:48:10What?
00:48:12Barry, my ex-husband.
00:48:14Your boss.
00:48:16Fuck!
00:48:18Don't move.
00:48:20Oh, shit.
00:48:26Nice place.
00:48:28Mommy and Dad are home.
00:48:30And they're with Barry's staff.
00:48:32Fuck!
00:48:34Go inside and make sure everyone stays out of the fucking house.
00:48:36Go, go.
00:48:38Go, go, go. Come on.
00:48:40Oh, yes, do the booboo.
00:48:42Oh.
00:48:45Oh.
00:48:47Oh, come on, are you kidding me?
00:48:51See you outside.
00:48:53Okay, here we go.
00:48:56Here we are.
00:48:57Mom.
00:48:58Dad, Mr. Stack.
00:48:59Wow, what a surprise.
00:49:00We ran into a Barnaby's.
00:49:02Oh my gosh.
00:49:03We had a wedding reception in the outside garden.
00:49:05Oh, it's done.
00:49:06Oh, I see, I see.
00:49:07I thought you and Mom were gonna spend the night,
00:49:09but, uh, well.
00:49:11Oh, your dad had a touching time, yeah.
00:49:14Let's just go sit in the living room.
00:49:16Oh.
00:49:16The living room, Mom, that's a great idea.
00:49:18Oh, no, nonsense, nonsense.
00:49:20The living room is no place for a young man.
00:49:23Men talk in the den.
00:49:25Huh?
00:49:25Oh.
00:49:28Ah, now we're talking, huh?
00:49:29Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:49:31Yeah, why don't you step this way.
00:49:34Okay, now Fred, I'm gonna get you
00:49:36your little orange miracle worker.
00:49:38Anybody for coffee or butt cake?
00:49:40Fantastic.
00:49:41You know what, Mom, why don't you stay here
00:49:43and I'll go get the coffee.
00:49:44Oh, honey, no, you sit.
00:49:46My dad and Mr. Stack are gonna talk
00:49:47about your recommendation letter to Yale.
00:49:49You stay.
00:49:50It would be inappropriate for me
00:49:52to try to influence Mr. Stack directly.
00:49:55No, no, no, sit, sit, sit.
00:49:57Excuse me.
00:49:59It's, uh, impetuous kid, you know.
00:50:08Mom, Mom.
00:50:09Oh, hi, I didn't know you were in here.
00:50:11Sweetheart, would you look in the fridge
00:50:12and get that bunt cake?
00:50:15Oh, and a can of whipped cream.
00:50:17Uh, I don't see it.
00:50:19Really, I know I bought some.
00:50:21Oh, good, you found it.
00:50:22I knew I bought that.
00:50:30Oh, hi.
00:50:31Oh, hi.
00:50:32Oh, hi.
00:50:33Oh, hi.
00:50:34Oh, hi.
00:50:34Oh, hi.
00:50:35Oh, hi.
00:50:36Oh, hi.
00:50:37Oh, hi.
00:50:39Is that your tummy?
00:50:40Yeah, yeah, I think I have a touch of what Dad has.
00:50:42Oh, sweetheart, is it burning in your anus?
00:50:44Yep, yep, just a little bit.
00:50:46Well, maybe if you bring Dad's little orange pills.
00:50:47Oh, yeah, you know what, I'm just gonna let it pass.
00:50:50You sure?
00:50:51Yes, that's a good idea.
00:50:52All right, you know where they are.
00:50:53Come on, sweetheart, follow me with that bunt cake.
00:50:56Let's go.
00:50:56Yeah, I'll keep him waiting.
00:50:57I know.
00:51:01Get the fuck out of here.
00:51:02Here's your hat.
00:51:03Thank you.
00:51:08Here we go.
00:51:10Oh, nice.
00:51:11Yeah, beautiful, beautiful.
00:51:13Oh, wow, Hogan's got a hell of a Marco Polo game going on.
00:51:18Oh.
00:51:19Marco Polo, it's still popular, isn't it?
00:51:22You sit, you sit there.
00:51:24So, Bear was telling me there
00:51:26that you are quite the ambitious, hardworking employee
00:51:30and you've got quite the aptitude for the law.
00:51:33That's great, man.
00:51:34Try that.
00:51:35Here you go, Bear.
00:51:36Thanks, Mr. Stack.
00:51:37Sure, yeah.
00:51:38Oh.
00:51:39Oh.
00:51:41Oh, that sounds like it's really deep
00:51:42in your cavity, honey.
00:51:44Just hitting the pillar.
00:51:56What are you doing?
00:51:56I'm not cooking.
00:51:57I'm not going to fight.
00:51:58Rule number one of cuckoo club
00:51:59is you don't fucking talk about cuckoo club.
00:52:00I'm gonna take you back to your place.
00:52:09Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
00:52:23Hi.
00:52:24Amanda.
00:52:25Where were you?
00:52:26We have to go in here.
00:52:27What?
00:52:28We were supposed to go on the horseback ride
00:52:29from Beechwood Canyon to Glendale.
00:52:32How could you forget that?
00:52:33It was sunset.
00:52:35Oh, yeah.
00:52:37I'm sorry.
00:52:38I had a meeting here with my boss, Mr. Stack.
00:52:41This is my girlfriend, Amanda.
00:52:43Yeah, except you didn't know I was gonna be here tonight.
00:52:46How very nice to meet you, Amanda.
00:52:48I'm Barry Stack.
00:52:50Is this true, Spencey?
00:52:51Some.
00:52:53What was the question?
00:52:55Well, obviously you didn't invite me to your party.
00:52:57I mean, apparently I'm just a little too young.
00:53:00All the women out there are really old.
00:53:01Why are you partying with a bunch of 50-year-olds?
00:53:04Are you an old lady, Spencey?
00:53:07No, I don't know what she's talking about.
00:53:10I don't know how to thank you enough, Barry.
00:53:14This letter of recommendation just means the world to us.
00:53:17No thanks necessary, friend.
00:53:19Anyway, after all is said and done,
00:53:21I think Spencey's gonna earn that letter.
00:53:24Of course, of course, of course he is, of course, of course.
00:53:30Oh.
00:53:34Let's go, let's, uh...
00:53:43Good night, Spence.
00:53:45Spence?
00:53:46What's going on?
00:53:47Isn't she a little old for Marco Polo?
00:53:49Daniella, wait!
00:53:51Spence?
00:53:52Spence!
00:53:56I had no idea he would be here.
00:53:59I swear, don't go.
00:54:00Spence, I'm sorry, you're a really nice guy,
00:54:02but I don't want anything here, okay?
00:54:04Come on, can't we just talk about it?
00:54:06Good night, sweetheart.
00:54:06What the?
00:54:09You're not over him yet, are you?
00:54:11Spence, are you having a relationship with this old lady?
00:54:16Oh my God, you know, I would expect this from Hogan, okay?
00:54:20He's sick, but you?
00:54:22Amanda, not now, just go home.
00:54:25Daniella, wait!
00:54:29You're a fucker, Spence!
00:54:51Good morning, guys, your applicants are here.
00:54:54What?
00:54:56They're not supposed to come here.
00:54:57They're not supposed to come here.
00:54:58Thank you very much, sweetheart.
00:55:00I think we can take it from here, gentlemen.
00:55:04So, tell us why you want to be members of Cougar Club.
00:55:08Well, it's like, I've been fantasizing
00:55:11about my mom's friends for a long time.
00:55:15So has he.
00:55:17All right, welcome.
00:55:20Yeah, okay, good for you, thanks.
00:55:22Congratulations, I want you guys to read these over
00:55:26a couple of times, get down there.
00:55:35That's 345 and 346, we've more than tripled our membership.
00:55:39Just like you said.
00:55:41Oh, you know I don't like that.
00:55:43What?
00:55:44It's gross.
00:55:45So I look at the question and the answer
00:55:47just seems to pop into my head,
00:55:49and I've been here so many times before,
00:55:52and I go blank, so, ah, okay, okay.
00:55:56Is it a foot?
00:56:01Oh, hell no.
00:56:03No, try it, it's good.
00:56:05Have you tried the toenail?
00:56:07It's a secret.
00:56:08What the hell is this?
00:56:10Guys, I passed the bar.
00:56:12No, you didn't.
00:56:13I did.
00:56:14Oh, my God.
00:56:18I couldn't have done it without you guys.
00:56:20Cougar Club, I swear, you changed my life.
00:56:23Sweet, man, isn't he sweet?
00:56:25It's true.
00:56:28Hey, okay, okay, bye, Carl.
00:56:33How's the celebratory cake?
00:56:35Well, well, well, congratulations, butt-licker.
00:56:39Thank you, Mr. Archibald.
00:56:44And your wife, thank her for me, too.
00:56:48Attention, shit turd and shit turd's friend.
00:56:51Put down the fucking snacks and get in here.
00:56:54Oh, and a special congratulations to Douchebag.
00:56:57I never thought you'd pass.
00:56:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:57:04He knew my name.
00:57:36Assignment time.
00:57:38I need you shit turds to go to Al Oberman's house
00:57:40with a camera.
00:57:41His address is in the folder.
00:57:42I have knowledge he does hookers by the pool
00:57:45on Wednesdays at three.
00:57:46Take pictures and bring them back to me.
00:57:48Go.
00:57:51You are aware, sir, that the-
00:57:52Are you speaking to me?
00:57:55It's not what-
00:57:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:58:01Okay.
00:58:05Spence?
00:58:08By the way, I was wondering if you were able
00:58:09to finish my letter of recommendation.
00:58:12Not yet, shit turd.
00:58:15Do you know when you might be able to finish it?
00:58:17Because I really-
00:58:18You'll know when you're fucking looking at it.
00:58:20Okay.
00:58:22We will know that when we're looking at it.
00:58:24We look forward to that.
00:58:26Don't kill the asshole yet.
00:58:28Okay.
00:58:34Look what I found in shit turd friend's backpack.
00:58:38Cougar club?
00:58:43I think our wives are involved in this.
00:58:54I can't believe she's still in love with that fucking guy.
00:58:58Why won't she call me back?
00:59:01Conrad's wife won't stop calling me.
00:59:02It's like, dude, leave me the fuck alone.
00:59:10Anyone should be dug out and studied, man.
00:59:13Why?
00:59:15I know what I like.
00:59:16Oh, ladies, I gotta go pull on my bow.
00:59:22What is that?
00:59:24That, my friend, is a gold lame banana hammock.
00:59:28No, no.
00:59:31That's a bow and arrow.
00:59:37Hey, come on.
00:59:44Oh, shit.
00:59:50What the fuck?
00:59:58Ah, shit.
01:00:01Ah, ah.
01:00:08Oh, sorry, shit turds.
01:00:11I heard you got banged up a little,
01:00:13but the firm really appreciates you going that extra mile.
01:00:17And hey, I'll write that letter of recommendation real soon.
01:00:25Everyone's paid up.
01:00:26Okay, thanks for checking, Carl.
01:00:27You all right?
01:00:33Hello, Cougar Club.
01:00:39All right, nice to see you guys showing up here today.
01:00:43Let's talk about it.
01:00:46How great was pool party?
01:00:53How about film your own threesome Thursdays?
01:00:58I'm gonna kick it down a notch here
01:01:00because some of you are a little skittish about this one,
01:01:02but you're regretting it now.
01:01:03A little something called Midnight Graveyard Cougar Hunt.
01:01:14All right, all right.
01:01:15So now, as all of you know,
01:01:17September 19th is our big Cougar Club extravaganza
01:01:24in Beverly Hills.
01:01:26That's right.
01:01:28Okay, guys, so it just comes down to this.
01:01:30Simple.
01:01:31Don't be pussies.
01:01:32Take care of your cougars,
01:01:34because they take care of you.
01:01:36Yeah!
01:01:39Cougar, Cougar, Cougar, Cougar, Cougar, Cougar!
01:01:57Nice, a little Lexus.
01:02:01Ah, Miss Cadillac.
01:02:05Ooh, Jackie, I thought I'd sort you out, huh?
01:02:15Oh, shit, it's the Trans Am, hi, Edwin.
01:02:18Hey, how are you doing?
01:02:20Still ain't moving, baby, yow!
01:02:22Look at that.
01:02:24You know it, I'll show it.
01:02:26Woo!
01:02:29Welcome.
01:02:30Guess Daniela didn't come with her.
01:02:32Okay, Cameron, pay up.
01:02:34ATN's inside, let's go.
01:02:36You guys wanna buy our boy Carl?
01:02:38Not gonna happen, pal.
01:02:39He's got eyes like a hawk.
01:02:42Look at her.
01:02:44There she comes, there she goes.
01:02:46There she goes, there she goes, there she goes.
01:02:49There she goes, there she goes, there she goes, there she goes.
01:02:52There she goes, there she goes, there she goes.
01:03:04Hey!
01:03:17Carl, Carl.
01:03:18Yes?
01:03:19Just wipe this guy in.
01:03:21Woo!
01:03:23No, I, you know, I don't know how he got in here.
01:03:26No, no.
01:03:27Cougar crasher.
01:03:28Hey!
01:03:29Oh!
01:03:31Oh, look at you, baby.
01:03:33Um, can I see your cougar card?
01:03:35Cougar card?
01:03:38I'm gonna have to pull him away for a second, excuse us.
01:03:41Look, this is a private party, I'm really sorry.
01:03:43Numbers only, you're gonna have to go.
01:03:45Come on, man.
01:03:46Girl, let's shoot nuts.
01:03:47We can get one in like five minutes.
01:03:51Unfortunately, only members get that chance.
01:03:53Members only, okay.
01:03:55Well, what do I gotta do to become a member?
01:03:58Well, I mean, there's a whole extensive screening process.
01:04:01My partner and I have to interview you.
01:04:03And then if they approve, then you pay a fee of like $3,000 to join,
01:04:08and then there is individual fees for each event.
01:04:11Great, I've interviewed.
01:04:13I just won like five grand cash at one of those Indian casinos.
01:04:16I'll slide that your way, and then I'll be a member.
01:04:20Okay.
01:04:22$5,000.
01:04:24Okay.
01:04:25Okay.
01:04:26Okay.
01:04:27Let's hold on for a second.
01:04:32Meet my partner, we'll finish this transaction, all right?
01:04:34All right.
01:04:35After you, sir.
01:04:36Please, after you.
01:04:38Atta boy.
01:04:47What the hell are you doing over here, man?
01:04:49I can't fucking believe it.
01:04:51What?
01:04:52She's here with me.
01:04:54Oh, damn.
01:04:56I'm so sorry, man.
01:04:58Look, just real quick, I got something I gotta ask you.
01:05:00Now?
01:05:01Yeah, just two seconds.
01:05:02There's this guy here, and he's willing to pay five grand tonight to join Cougar Club.
01:05:06What do you think?
01:05:08Spence, what do you think?
01:05:10It's fine.
01:05:11Yeah?
01:05:12Yeah.
01:05:13Okay, cool.
01:05:14Damn, I'm so sorry.
01:05:15Okay.
01:05:16Yes, sir.
01:05:17Now, look, my friend is busy here.
01:05:18I'm just gonna give you a shot.
01:05:19Oh.
01:05:20I'm sorry.
01:05:21One shot.
01:05:22Wow.
01:05:23So, basically, I give you this 5,000 bucks, and I get to go nail that hottie?
01:05:32You are a charmer.
01:05:33Yeah, you get to nail that Cougar.
01:05:34Cougar.
01:05:35Cougar.
01:05:36Cougar.
01:05:37Cougar.
01:05:38Nice.
01:05:41It's there.
01:05:43Welcome to Cougar Club.
01:05:44All right.
01:05:45Welcome to Cougar Club, man.
01:05:46Ow.
01:05:47Hey.
01:05:48What the hell?
01:05:49I'm Detective John Butler.
01:05:50You're both under arrest for pandering.
01:05:51What?
01:05:52Beat it, douchebag.
01:05:53Oh, my God.
01:05:54He did it again.
01:05:55You both have the right to remain silent.
01:05:56Anything you say can and will be used against you.
01:05:59Blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:06:01Wait.
01:06:02Not the shit, turds.
01:06:03Officer, these boys work for me.
01:06:05Why are they being arrested?
01:06:06Pandering.
01:06:07Wow.
01:06:08You think you know people.
01:06:09You hear that, honey?
01:06:11Pandering.
01:06:13Should I put that in your recommendation letter, Spencey?
01:06:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:06:19Woo.
01:06:25Here's your car, boys.
01:06:26Ha, ha.
01:06:29Amanda said if I kept associating with you,
01:06:31it would eventually destroy me, and she was right.
01:06:33Oh, so this is all my fault?
01:06:35I did all this by myself.
01:06:37Because you were there.
01:06:38You said, fine.
01:06:39I wasn't even looking at you when I said it.
01:06:41Obviously, I had other things on my mind.
01:06:44Do you not see how much I lose in this thing?
01:06:46Is that not perfectly clear to you?
01:06:48Yale?
01:06:49Totally fucked.
01:06:50My job?
01:06:51Fucked.
01:06:52What?
01:06:53I didn't lose my job?
01:06:54No, I didn't lose my job?
01:06:56Don't even pretend that meant anything to you,
01:06:58because you don't have to care about anything, Hogan.
01:07:00You have no responsibilities, no obligations,
01:07:02no one breathing down your fucking neck every day of your life,
01:07:04demanding you do something acceptable
01:07:06so their friends won't think badly of them
01:07:08when they're asked about you.
01:07:09You don't even live in your own house.
01:07:11Well, you know what your problem is?
01:07:12What?
01:07:13You're a fucking pussy, Spence.
01:07:14Yeah.
01:07:15You let people breathe down your neck
01:07:16and tell you what you should feel
01:07:17and what you should be
01:07:19and what you should do with your life.
01:07:21My advice?
01:07:22Grow up.
01:07:23Be a man.
01:07:24All right, you know what?
01:07:25I'm done.
01:07:30You know, I've always wondered
01:07:33what it would be like to hang my dick in a man.
01:07:39What?
01:07:59I can explain.
01:08:03Just get in.
01:08:10Come on, let's go.
01:08:12You stay.
01:08:40So, goodbye, Susie.
01:08:42Goodbye.
01:08:43Jack.
01:08:44Goodbye.
01:08:45Jack, please.
01:08:47Jack, don't do this.
01:08:55All right, Will, what do you have for me?
01:08:57Next, State of California versus Holmes and Hogan III.
01:09:09Representing ourselves, are we?
01:09:40Uh-huh.
01:09:41You're late, Counsel.
01:09:43Yes, yes, uh...
01:09:45How do your clients plead?
01:09:47Uh, I think I have that.
01:09:50Not guilty, dude.
01:09:52Not guilty, dude.
01:09:55Very well.
01:09:57Your court date will be set for...
01:10:01three weeks from today.
01:10:04Dude.
01:10:06Next.
01:10:10Hey.
01:10:11Hey, don't worry.
01:10:13I've done all the research.
01:10:15I think I can convince the judge to drop the charges.
01:10:19See?
01:10:21Carl, your shoes don't match.
01:10:24Oh, fuck.
01:10:26I hope the judge didn't notice.
01:10:29Oh, shit.
01:10:30I gotta get back to work.
01:10:31Archibald's gonna beat my ass.
01:10:33Uh, bye.
01:10:34I'll see you later, Hogan.
01:10:37I think he was a wise choice for an attorney.
01:10:39He's a free choice.
01:10:40Yeah.
01:10:41See, it won't close.
01:10:42That's the problem.
01:10:44So, how are you?
01:10:46Good.
01:10:47Yeah, I'm, uh...
01:10:49moving in with Amanda this weekend.
01:10:51Really?
01:10:52Yeah.
01:10:53She's been really supportive of my mom.
01:10:56Yeah.
01:10:57Is that really what you want?
01:10:59I don't know.
01:11:01I just want to be with her.
01:11:03Is that really what you want?
01:11:04I don't know, Hogan.
01:11:06I need to go to law school and get something going with my life.
01:11:11Yeah, well...
01:11:12Yeah.
01:11:14Bye, Hogan.
01:11:31Hey, Carl.
01:11:32Hey.
01:11:41Another one of those in the freezer?
01:11:43Yeah, that sounds pretty sick.
01:11:45It's all yours.
01:11:46Nice distance.
01:11:49So, did the three-headed monster give you any shit about taking a long lunch?
01:11:53No.
01:11:54There's other stuff going on.
01:12:00What other stuff?
01:12:02What, they know?
01:12:03They know you're a member?
01:12:04No.
01:12:05What?
01:12:06No way.
01:12:07They know about you and Archibald's wife?
01:12:09No, they know me.
01:12:10They don't know me.
01:12:11They don't know me.
01:12:12They don't know me.
01:12:13They don't know me.
01:12:14They don't know me.
01:12:15They don't know me.
01:12:16Archibald's wife?
01:12:17No, they know about you and Conrad's wife.
01:12:20Shut up.
01:12:21Yeah.
01:12:24Yeah, I heard him say he was going to divorce her,
01:12:26and then he spent the rest of the day trying to find out if you owned a car.
01:12:30And when he found out you didn't, he said it was a good thing,
01:12:32because if you did, he'd find it, plant a bomb in it,
01:12:35and, quote, blow you beyond dental records.
01:12:38He said that?
01:12:40Uh-huh.
01:12:42Well, that's a fucking bona fide terrorist threat.
01:12:44Punishable by, like, 25 years.
01:12:46I don't know. I could look it up. I don't know.
01:12:48Think you'd get him to say it again?
01:12:50I don't know.
01:12:51No, I know you don't know, but if I sent you in there with the body wire,
01:12:54you could provoke him into repeating it, couldn't you, Carl?
01:12:57Oh, God. I don't know. I mean, you know what?
01:13:00Okay, I want to, but I...
01:13:02Carl, don't help me, okay? Fuck me.
01:13:04This is about the club.
01:13:05Where would you be without the club, Carl?
01:13:07I'll tell you where you'd be.
01:13:08You'd be fucking files Q through R.
01:13:10Don't go back there.
01:13:11Paper cuts haven't even healed yet, have they?
01:13:15No. Come on.
01:13:17From the top rope, baby. Top ropes.
01:13:20Yes!
01:13:22Come in!
01:13:30Uh, hello, Mr. Stack,
01:13:33Mr. Conrad, Mr. Archibald.
01:13:36What do you want, douchebag?
01:13:38May I, uh...
01:13:39You know...
01:13:42How do you... How do you do this?
01:13:44I don't know.
01:13:45Oh!
01:13:48All right, there we go.
01:13:49Here we are.
01:13:50Um, I just couldn't help but hear your conversation yesterday
01:13:55about Marshall Hogan and how he, you know, did stuff with your wife.
01:14:00What did you say about my wife?
01:14:02Huh? Huh?
01:14:03I will rip your dick off and shove it up your ass.
01:14:05You hear me, you scrawny little bastard?
01:14:07I'm on your side.
01:14:08Let's hear what the butt licker has to say.
01:14:16Speak, Carl.
01:14:17Okay. Well, uh...
01:14:19I saw him this morning, so I couldn't help but notice that he had, uh...
01:14:24He was driving this 91 convertible Camaro that was red.
01:14:29So I said, you know, hey, nice car.
01:14:31And he said, you know, thank you.
01:14:33It's brand new. I just got it today.
01:14:36So on impulse, I then took out my work pen, which I brought back.
01:14:41And I wrote down his license plate number while he was driving away
01:14:45because you said that if he owned a car, you would, um...
01:14:49Oh, darn.
01:14:51What did you say? I can't remember.
01:14:54I said I'd put a bomb in it and blow him up beyond dental records.
01:14:58Get to the fucking point, Carl.
01:15:00I just thought you should know that he owns a car now.
01:15:04And that this is his license plate number and current address.
01:15:12How nice of you, butt licker.
01:15:14Way to look out for the team.
01:15:16Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Stack.
01:15:24Hey, shit-turd.
01:15:26Why so forthcoming?
01:15:28Why so forthcoming?
01:15:30Uh, well, you know, my mom, she used to cheat on my father constantly.
01:15:38Fucking slut.
01:15:39No, she, okay, all right, yeah.
01:15:41She, and I want, uh, I don't want anyone to have to suffer that kind of indignity.
01:15:46Be it, you know, you, Mr. Stack, or Mr. Conrad, or for that matter, Mr. Archibald.
01:15:52Ah! Ah!
01:15:54Ow, ow, ow!
01:15:56Go fuck yourself, Carl!
01:15:58Thank you.
01:16:03That's lunch.
01:16:05All-you-can-eat sushi, strip bar.
01:16:07In.
01:16:11Thanks for letting us use your car.
01:16:13I promise, bomb squad will reverse anything before it explodes.
01:16:17Oh, that's okay, baby.
01:16:19I'm just glad I could be of some help.
01:16:21That's my Gladys.
01:16:23It's good to see you.
01:16:25Marshal.
01:16:29Now, no bombs have been promised here, okay?
01:16:31I just delivered the information.
01:16:33There's no guarantee they're gonna use it at all.
01:16:36I mean, the whole threat could be a threat.
01:16:40Holy shit!
01:16:42Fuck, they're here!
01:16:44What the fuck?
01:16:46Look at this!
01:16:47Oh my fucking God!
01:16:49Oh my God!
01:16:50Look at this fucking, look!
01:16:52Holy shit!
01:16:54Oh my God!
01:16:55I am gonna shit in my pants.
01:16:58Oh!
01:17:00No!
01:17:01Look, they meant it!
01:17:02They actually meant it!
01:17:03Shh!
01:17:04Of course they meant it.
01:17:05You ever see what happens to people in the divorce
01:17:07who want their clients?
01:17:08Now calm your shit down.
01:17:09There are two of them.
01:17:10No, no, no.
01:17:11I think that one's a monkey or something.
01:17:13You think it's Mr. Stack and Mr. Conrad?
01:17:15I think they might have hired people.
01:17:17Service people.
01:17:18Yeah.
01:17:20Oh, they're really organized.
01:17:28Freeze, you little freak!
01:17:30Oh, I got him.
01:17:32Oh!
01:17:34Oh!
01:17:36Oh no, I'm gonna lose my ass.
01:17:38Seriously!
01:17:39Ah!
01:17:40Ah!
01:17:42I had no idea.
01:17:43I didn't call them.
01:17:45Holy...
01:17:48That's the big one.
01:17:49Gun down!
01:17:50Gun down!
01:17:51Gun down!
01:17:52Gun down!
01:17:53Gun down!
01:18:05Gun down!
01:18:06Gun down!
01:18:07Ah!
01:18:10Get him!
01:18:11Ah!
01:18:18Spence, will you get Dad?
01:18:20I'm on the phone with the wedding planner.
01:18:22Hold on a second, Raylan.
01:18:24Spence, I thought he didn't have an address.
01:18:27Please.
01:18:28I want him gone.
01:18:29I mean it!
01:18:30Kate!
01:18:31Sorry, Mom gave me the address.
01:18:33I figured she would.
01:18:35Hey.
01:18:37Thanks.
01:18:38Oh!
01:18:40Really?
01:18:41Yeah.
01:18:42She's thrilled.
01:18:43It's really, um...
01:18:45It's a dream come true.
01:18:47Oh, congratulations, Spence.
01:18:49Thanks.
01:18:50Red roses?
01:18:51No, no, nobody said anything about red roses.
01:18:53I want perfect white calla lilies.
01:18:56Write it down!
01:18:58And I'm going to law school.
01:19:00Really?
01:19:01That's great.
01:19:02Yeah, Baker accepted me a while ago.
01:19:04So I'm going to law school.
01:19:07Well, I'll get out of you two lovebirds' hair in just a minute.
01:19:10But I...
01:19:11I just wanted to see your face when I showed you this.
01:19:24Hey, get...
01:19:26Get this.
01:19:27This is for you.
01:19:28Thank you.
01:19:29You're welcome.
01:19:30You're welcome.
01:19:31You're welcome.
01:19:32You're welcome.
01:19:33You're welcome.
01:19:34You're welcome.
01:19:35Get this.
01:19:36They searched Conrad's desk.
01:19:38They found one of our cougar club folders.
01:19:40Those bastards knew about our extravaganza all along.
01:19:43The whole thing was a set-up.
01:19:45Oh, my gosh.
01:19:46What's Carl say?
01:19:47Well, in light of what's happened,
01:19:49he's arranged a little meeting with Judge Emerson to review our case.
01:19:52And he wants to talk with us right now.
01:19:56I think it's going to be fun.
01:19:59Hey, Peter, I'll call you back.
01:20:01Hi.
01:20:02Hey.
01:20:03Where the hell are you going?
01:20:04I just got to go meet my lawyer.
01:20:07With him?
01:20:08Well, yeah.
01:20:09I...
01:20:11Spence, I thought we talked about this.
01:20:14If you want to be married to me, then no more hunking.
01:20:17Permanently.
01:20:29Sorry, Amanda.
01:20:31I mean, I never even asked you to marry me.
01:20:34Here.
01:20:37Wait.
01:20:40But, wait, Spence, but you can plead me.
01:20:43God, I almost did that, didn't I?
01:20:45Yeah, shake it off, brother.
01:20:46The bullet to the forehead's been dodged.
01:20:49Spence!
01:20:50Come back!
01:20:53So what's the deal with this judge?
01:20:55Margaret Emerson.
01:20:56You saw her at the plea hearing.
01:20:58She's a nasty one, real ball-breaker type.
01:21:01But when she heard about the recent arrests at the law firm,
01:21:05the almost certain set-up at the hotel,
01:21:07she seemed intrigued.
01:21:10Ow!
01:21:11Oh, shit.
01:21:13Excuse me.
01:21:15Um, you know, if she comes in,
01:21:18just tell her I'll be right back, okay?
01:21:23Oh, Carl, man, that's coming from your anal cavity.
01:21:27Just take an orange pill. It's in the briefcase.
01:21:30Uh, no, it's okay.
01:21:31This is gonna be the last time.
01:21:45Spencer Holmes and Marshall Hogan III.
01:21:49Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
01:21:53Sit down.
01:22:01Sit down.
01:22:14So...
01:22:16I'm supposed to believe that you two punks started a club
01:22:21so you could hook up with old broads like me.
01:22:25Well, are there really any other broads to hook up with?
01:22:30Your Honor, may I call you Margaret?
01:22:33Margaret, I'm looking at you right now,
01:22:37and all I want to do is just jump over this table and go to town.
01:22:42I mean, you are a goddess,
01:22:44and I'm sorry if I'm, like, overstepping the bounds of polite society here,
01:22:47but I would make love to you all day and all night
01:22:50until you screamed with an unbearable ecstasy like you've never felt before.
01:22:53And we want to be very clear.
01:22:55In no way did we ever exchange money for sex in our organization.
01:22:59We charged membership fees no different than a MeatMart.net
01:23:02or a Christate.net, for that matter.
01:23:04It's just that our target was a little more specific.
01:23:07Margaret, I'm going to venture a guess here.
01:23:09If I were to come around this table
01:23:11and gently caress the back of your neck with my tongue,
01:23:17a slight chill would run down your spine.
01:23:19Might.
01:23:20Wow, ma'am, this is no pimp operation.
01:23:23No, ma'am. No, ma'am, we're bona fide businessmen
01:23:25with a goal to expand our website,
01:23:27which, yes, we have a website now.
01:23:29Eventually, we plan to have a magazine,
01:23:31and then we'll tour around the country,
01:23:33branching out to all the major metropolitan areas,
01:23:35all so that we can become acquainted with women such as yourself.
01:23:39So sublime, so lush, seasoned, exquisite.
01:23:43Really?
01:23:44Yeah.
01:23:45What about your partner? Does he feel the same way?
01:23:48This guy? This guy?
01:23:50Oh, my God. And then some.
01:23:54Prove it.
01:23:58What?
01:23:59Huh?
01:24:18You drink whiskey but I drink wine
01:24:23You wear the watch but I keep the time
01:24:32You're so delicious but I'm tasty
01:24:41You may be fine but I'm sexy, baby
01:24:47You may be fine but I'm sexy, baby
01:24:55You may be pretty but I'm sexy, but I'm sexy
01:25:05You may be fine but I'm sexy, baby
01:25:10Congratulations, Carl.
01:25:12You can actually get a car from the 21st century.
01:25:14Yeah.
01:25:15Great. And a new bike.
01:25:16Stop the car. Stop the car.
01:25:17What?
01:25:18What?
01:25:19Hmm?
01:25:20Oh.
01:25:25I'm not going to waste gas.
01:25:26Just give me one second.
01:25:27Okay.
01:25:36I'm sorry that I haven't returned your phone call, Say.
01:25:39I've just been swamped with getting a real estate license.
01:25:43It's great to see you.
01:25:44I didn't know if I ever would again.
01:25:47I'm glad you're okay.
01:25:48Yeah. Yeah.
01:25:49We're having a party Saturday night if you're interested.
01:25:53It's at 8.
01:25:54I'd love to see you.
01:25:58Yeah.
01:25:59Sounds good.
01:26:01Good.
01:26:03Maybe.
01:26:06Okay. Bye.
01:26:13Bye.
01:26:28Here we go. Here we go.
01:26:33Nice. Nice.
01:26:34Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:26:37To Stat, Conrad, and Archibald.
01:26:41Cheers.
01:26:42Cheers.
01:26:46To Cougar Club.
01:26:47Cheers.
01:26:50Cougar Club.
01:26:54I'm feeling it.
01:27:00Take a look around.
01:27:01This is what can happen when you dare to say yes.
01:27:07Couldn't have done it without you.
01:27:10It's true, man.
01:27:11There are so many ways to say yes.
01:27:14Yeah. Uh-huh.
01:27:15Yep.
01:27:16All right. Okay.
01:27:17Sure.
01:27:18It's not even like foreign languages.
01:27:19Hey, Carl.
01:27:20Drink up.
01:27:21Thanks, buddy.
01:27:26I can't believe it.
01:27:27She's here.
01:27:31I'm going back.
01:27:33Let's go.
01:27:34I'm dancing.
01:27:35Let's go.
01:27:36I'm running.
01:27:38I am so happy that you're here.
01:27:41I wouldn't have missed it.
01:27:43Let's go.
01:27:44I'm dancing.
01:27:45Let's go.
01:27:46I'm running.
01:27:51Cougar Club!
01:27:57Oh, my boys.
01:27:58I'm so proud of both of you.
01:28:00Oh.
01:28:01This is what you've worked so hard for,
01:28:03and I know it's what you've always wanted.
01:28:05Oh.
01:28:06Thanks, Mom.
01:28:07Thanks, Mom.
01:28:08Good luck, boys.
01:28:11Now you're men.
01:28:13Go and be wise.
01:28:15Thanks, Dad.
01:28:19Honey, where are the archbills?
01:28:20Kitchen.
01:28:21Sir.
01:28:23Go sow your seed.
01:28:25Thanks, Dad.
01:28:26Thanks, Dad.
01:28:28Oh.
01:28:30Mom.
01:28:31I like them.
01:28:34All right.
01:28:36Bye, Mom.
01:28:38Bye.
01:28:49Oh, boy.
01:28:51Bye, Mom.
01:28:52Bye.
01:28:54Be careful.
01:28:57Thanks, Dad.
01:29:15Adios, amigo.
01:29:26Adios, amigo.
01:29:27Adios, amigo.
01:29:28Adios, amigo.
01:29:29Adios, amigo.
01:29:30Adios, amigo.
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01:32:48Adios, amigo.