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01:00All right, all right, all right, who is it, who is it keeps stamping their feet and stopping this bus?
01:06I can always get my driver up here, you know.
01:10His driver? Blimey, the ultimate detergent.
01:14Yeah, no, your driver's too fat to get out of his cab, let alone climb them stairs.
01:20Yeah, I reckon he has to live in that cab.
01:22He'll have to leave him in a depot at night time and send his wife round with his supper.
01:27You're always the same on the first day of term, you Fen Street mob.
01:30Spivs, that's what you are, and not a rotten spiv.
01:33Hey, you're all behind the times, Ted, with dropouts these days.
01:37Ah, you said it, Sonny, I didn't.
01:42It's your teachers I feel sorry for. No wonder there's a shortage, people have got more sense.
01:58Got a light, Keith?
02:00What? Oh, yes, yes, of course.
02:14Um, excuse me.
02:15What, eh?
02:16That's how I got on.
02:17Hey, you're not that early, are you, Joe?
02:20Sorry, Chief.
02:22That's all right.
02:24Chum.
02:27Thank you.
02:44Oh, that's nice.
02:48Very nice.
02:52Fen Street, Senko, come on, you kids, get out of here.
02:58Right, let's have another bash at the old Freelance, eh?
03:11Oh, are you getting off with me, then?
03:13Er, no, no, I'm not.
03:15You'll be sorry.
03:28Hmm.
03:46Seven, eight.
03:48Oh, I hope it chokes the little perishes.
03:53Who wants that one?
03:55Oh, no, one Miss Innegan, I don't know.
03:58Enough milk here to make a nice pudding to cover the school.
04:21Where do you think you're going with that?
04:24Oh, hello there.
04:25Just moving it.
04:26Silly place for milk.
04:28I put that there.
04:32Oh, well, no offence, but it was blocking the gate.
04:35People want to get in.
04:36Not through that gate, they don't.
04:38Nor out.
04:39What do they do, then, jump over the wall?
04:42If you'd just allow me to explain,
04:44that gate is there solely, you see, for my purposes.
04:48Oh, you're the milkman, are you?
04:51Hi, I'm Mr Potter.
04:53Oh, yes?
04:54Yes, the schoolkeeper here.
04:56Oh, hello.
04:57I'm, er, I'm Bernard Hedges, the new teacher.
05:01And I suppose that makes everything all right, does it?
05:04Well, it should help.
05:06You've never seen Miss Yule come in through that gate,
05:08and she's the assistant headmaster.
05:10But I came the wrong way.
05:11You've never seen any of the staff use that gate.
05:14But along you come, oh, yes, as bald as brass,
05:17and start kicking my blue tops about.
05:20Kicking?
05:21Look, I knew I came through the wrong gate.
05:23I'm sorry, all right?
05:25Being sorry doesn't make it all right, does it?
05:27Well, hardly.
05:29Is that all you've got to say?
05:31Look, what do you want, a written apology?
05:33A little bit of civility wouldn't come amiss, you know.
05:36Oh, don't be so damn stupid.
05:38Don't you walk away from me.
05:42I am taking your name.
05:44I am taking your name.
05:49You're doing what?
05:51Taking your name.
05:53All right, then, I'll dispel Hedges.
05:57Hedges?
05:58E-D-G-E-H.
06:01Stupid.
06:03This isn't just a notebook, you know.
06:05Oh, no.
06:06This is a report notebook.
06:14Hmm.
06:21Hmm.
06:31Ever thought of gassing yourself, have you, Smithy?
06:34Hmm?
06:35Not at all, no.
06:36I have at the beginning of every bloody term.
06:39I stand here and I say to myself,
06:41Go on, boy, you have a couple of whiffs.
06:43Hell can't be worse than Fen Street.
06:45Come on, Price, you're pulling my leg.
06:48No, I'm not.
06:55Hasn't Mr. Wiggins arrived yet?
06:57Oh, I haven't seen him, Miss Ewell.
06:59I did look.
07:00Oh, really?
07:01First day of term.
07:02This is too bad.
07:03Well, he had 5C last year.
07:05Poor Blighter probably went mad during the holidays.
07:08What about the new man, Hedges?
07:10Where's he?
07:11Lynched, coming across the playground?
07:14I'd hoped, Mr. Price, that this term we might be spared your rather adolescent cynicisms.
07:21Oh, there's someone now.
07:28Hello, old man.
07:29Mr. Hedges?
07:30Yes, yes, good morning.
07:32Morning.
07:33Morning.
07:34I trust you don't intend to be late every day of the term, Mr. Hedges?
07:38No, no.
07:40I got off at the bus depot by mistake.
07:42I had to come all the way round the back.
07:44Yes, yes, yes.
07:45No crepes.
07:46I'm Miss Ewell, the assistant head.
07:48Oh, hello.
07:49Hello.
07:50I'm Smith.
07:51Everyone calls me Smithy.
07:52You may use this cupboard.
07:53Of course.
07:54Of course.
07:55Not now.
07:56Here's your syllabus.
07:58School rules.
08:01I say, this is a bit revolutionary, isn't it?
08:04Revolutionary?
08:05Yeah, well, rule three.
08:07While not expressly forbidden, smoking is not advocated.
08:11Now, surely that's tantamount to encouraging the children to smoke.
08:15That is a rule for members of the staff, Mr. Hedges.
08:24Idiot.
08:26Quiet.
08:27Now.
08:29Your textbooks.
08:30Oh, thank you.
08:32Well, come along, come along.
08:34Right.
08:35Cupboard, cupboard.
08:37Oh, my cupboard, yes.
08:49Footballs.
08:53Let me give you a hand.
08:55Oh, that's worse.
08:56No, come here, Paul.
08:58And he's the bloody sports master.
09:08Here.
09:19Can I beat the clock?
09:22Hardly.
09:24Now, Mr. Hedges.
09:29You left this one.
09:31As I was saying, don't come to assembly,
09:34because the headmaster likes to welcome new staff personally.
09:37He will assign you your form in due course,
09:39and I shall see you later.
09:41Mr. Price, Mr. Smith.
09:43Hello, Hedges.
09:45I'm Smith.
09:46Everyone calls me Smithy.
09:47I do hope you'll be very happy with it.
09:51Thank you very much.
09:53Price.
09:54I'm called all sorts of things.
09:56I'm master in science.
09:58What's your poison?
09:59I'm English in history.
10:00Oh, it takes longer to mark your homework, does it?
10:03Yes.
10:04I seem to have gone off on the wrong foot with Miss Ewell.
10:07Oh, don't worry about her, boy.
10:09She's a bitch to everybody.
10:12Yes, well, actually, that's the second bit of trouble I had this morning.
10:15I had a run-in with some belligerent twit called Potter.
10:21Oh, Hedges.
10:22He's the last person who should rub up the wrong way.
10:25Well, he's only the schoolkeeper, isn't he?
10:28I'm taking your name, he said.
10:30Silly old fool, I told him so.
10:32You what?
10:34Oh, then God help you, boy.
10:38Come to think of it, God help us all.
11:02Come in.
11:06Come in.
11:09Come in.
11:17Yes?
11:19I'm a Jew.
11:24Jolly good.
11:27And I can't go to assembly because there's no rabbi.
11:30And I have to go somewhere else with the others and I can't find it.
11:34Right.
11:36Well, you stay there and I'll try and sort it out.
11:44Right.
11:46School rules.
11:48Jews, Jews, Jews.
11:51Catholics, contraceptives.
11:53No, no.
12:01Now, Hedges.
12:02Ah, is this little chap your first problem?
12:05Ah, yes, sir.
12:06Little Tommy Tittlemouse.
12:08Yes, he's Jewish.
12:16How am I meant to take that, Hedges?
12:19Pardon?
12:21Oh, no, nothing like that, sir. No, no, he's lost.
12:23He obviously doesn't go into assembly, you know, C of E.
12:26I mean, do we have a special room for Jews?
12:28Shh, don't keep saying it.
12:31Look, what you're looking for, my little chap, is the other denomination's room.
12:34And I don't think you're really looking.
12:36Now, remember your New Testament.
12:38Seek and ye shall find.
12:40Knock...
12:41I'm most terribly sorry.
12:44No offence meant, I assure you.
12:46What?
12:47No, no, no.
12:48Three C, that's what you need.
12:49That room right at the end of the corridor.
12:51Now, off you go.
12:55Now, Hedges.
12:57Here, sit down.
12:58Thank you, sir.
12:59Formal welcome taken as ready.
13:03Now, some people might describe Fen Street as a very tough school.
13:09Well, it is.
13:10Yes, yes.
13:11Well, yes, that's what I was expecting, sir.
13:13And I think I'm equipped to deal with it.
13:15Yes.
13:16What?
13:17The challenge.
13:18I mean...
13:20I mean, there are easier places, sir.
13:22And I could have chosen one, but I didn't.
13:24Because this is where it is, sir.
13:26The challenge.
13:28I mean, it's what I...
13:29It's what I wanted to...
13:30Ow!
13:32Got a form, have you?
13:33Well, I've got my tutor's testimonials, sir.
13:35No, no, no.
13:36I mean a class.
13:37You want to be a form master, don't you?
13:39Oh, well, yes, sir.
13:40That's related to what I was saying before.
13:42Well, Miss Yule will see to it.
13:45Miss Yule sent you wood, sir.
13:47She did?
13:48Oh, well, that's all right, then.
13:49Everything's settled.
13:50She's my strong right arm, Miss Doris.
13:53Just as...
13:54Just as Potter is my left.
13:59Potter?
14:00There's a...
14:01There's a teacher called Potter, is there, sir?
14:03No, no, no, no, no, Potter.
14:05He's the schoolkeeper.
14:07We cannot function efficiently as teachers
14:10unless the very school is competently maintained.
14:14That's why I value Potter so highly.
14:18Yes, well, about Potter...
14:19Listen, listen.
14:20Yes, yes, sir.
14:21Now, listen.
14:22Singing.
14:23Children's voices raised in praise.
14:26It never fails to move.
14:37There we are.
14:38Now, this...
14:41Dinner money must be handed in to the secretary
14:44not later than before eleven o'clock.
14:46Eleven o'clock, yes.
14:47Hedges, what would you say to tapioca four times on the trot?
14:52Well, I really wouldn't...
14:53Yes, yes, yes, yes, sir.
14:54I think Mrs...
14:55I think Mrs Savage should have been more resourceful.
14:58Ah, school cook, sir.
14:59Yes, yes, yes.
15:00Well, it's just a suggestion, sir,
15:02but couldn't you get someone to liaise with Mrs...
15:04Liaise?
15:05Well, that would ensure a more varied menu, sir.
15:07Yes, yes, it might work.
15:08I mean, all you need is some member of the staff
15:10to sit down with Mrs Thing every Monday morning
15:12and go through the whole menu for a week.
15:14What a good idea.
15:16She walked out on us three times last term,
15:19so tread lightly when you do it.
15:24Well, I didn't really mean me, sir.
15:26Always telephone the groundsman first, Hedges.
15:30The groundsman, sir?
15:31Yes, before going to games. Catch.
15:34It's a Rains Park number, double seven something or other.
15:38But I don't take games, do I, sir?
15:40Well, of course, if you're absolutely opposed to assisting...
15:43No, I'm not opposed to it, sir.
15:44Oh, good.
15:45I'm just not trained for PT.
15:47Well, we're very keen on sports here.
15:49Healthy body and all that sort of thing.
15:52Ah, Doris.
15:54Well, now, I think I've given young Mr Hedges here
15:57a pretty clear picture, duties and so on.
16:00Thank you, headmaster.
16:02Oh, and I mentioned the question of the toilets at assembly.
16:05Oh, good, good. Nasty business.
16:07Thank heavens Potter was on the ball.
16:10Oh, Doris, what form did we give Hedges?
16:14You decided on 2B.
16:16I did, yes.
16:17The Hedges, 2B.
16:20Or not 2B.
16:24But as Mr Wiggins still shows no signs of bothering to appear,
16:285C are without a form, master.
16:30Oh, I see.
16:39Oh, Hedges, how would you like a fifth form?
16:45Well, if you really think I'm up to it, sir.
16:48Only for the day, of course.
16:50Only for the day, of course.
16:51Only for the, of course, day.
16:53Something obviously has happened to poor Mr...
16:55Come along then, Mr Hedges. I'll take you to your form.
16:58I do hope I won't be treading on anyone's toes
17:01going straight into a fifth form like this.
17:04I think not.
17:07There, the cunning old cow.
17:11Like a lamb to the slaughter, he went.
17:14It's only for the day.
17:16Yeah, we must have offended the gods that boy
17:18crosses with Potter and gets landed with 5C.
17:20Hey, if you see him going anywhere near the gas tap, leave him.
17:23What?
17:24It's a merciful release in his case.
17:41APPLAUSE
17:54Yeah, well, I don't care if Potter does reckon
17:56this new bloke's a bombastical upstart.
17:59Just let him come it with me. Just once.
18:01Cecil!
18:02Yeah, what you gonna do, Frankie?
18:04Get your old man out of school again?
18:06Maybe. Maybe not.
18:07You're all mouth and trousers, you are.
18:10No, I ain't. I ain't, Eric.
18:12I just don't stand for nothing.
18:14I wouldn't even care if...
18:16if the Messiah in his long white robe came walking through that door.
18:20You don't even know he'd wear a white robe these days.
18:23Of course he would. Anyone knows that.
18:26Not necessarily.
18:27He could be passing himself off as an ordinary person again.
18:30Yeah, Moore's right, Frankie.
18:32He could be somewhere going about quietly doing his good works.
18:35He could be a doctor.
18:36Yeah, that ceiling. He might even work up the clinic.
18:39Yeah.
18:40He could be the very person that does dance to Buzzfeed up there.
18:43He did for eating the Bible.
18:46Yeah, well, I ain't admitting nothing.
18:49Shut up! Old mother of evil.
18:56That's a bloke on a bus. He must be the bombastical upstart.
19:06Oh, my God.
19:37Well, don't you usually stand up when a teacher comes into a room?
19:57That's better.
20:01Now, mind it...
20:02All right, you can sit down now.
20:20Now, my name is Mr Hedges.
20:22Where's Wiggins here?
20:25Er, Mr Wiggins is absent today.
20:27Did you say Hedges, sir?
20:29Yes.
20:30Did you say Hedges, sir?
20:31Yes.
20:32Yes, that's right.
20:33Privet. Privet Hedges, eh?
20:39And, er...
20:40And what is your name?
20:43Craven.
20:44Craven.
20:47Craven Cottage, perhaps.
21:01Come on, then!
21:04All right.
21:06Settle down.
21:08Joke over.
21:12I said, joke over.
21:17What's the matter with you, boy? Are you deaf?
21:23I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realise...
21:30That's a radio!
21:31Shouting makes me blink, sir.
21:34Blink? I'll give you a blink.
21:36I'm not going to tolerate this sort of behaviour.
21:40I'm going to confiscate this radio until the end of terms.
21:54You don't have a go at Danstable, sir.
21:57He's ESN.
21:59And what do you understand ESN to mean?
22:01Same as you.
22:03He's educationally subnormal, innit?
22:07He's a bit funny.
22:10You know what I mean?
22:12It's his rotten dad, if you ask me.
22:14I, er... I didn't ask you.
22:17I can check on this, you know.
22:19Registers in your top drawer. There's a note about Danstable.
22:23All right, sit down.
22:28All right.
22:48All right.
22:51Now the register.
22:53Answer your...
22:55Danstable?
22:56Danstable, where are you going?
22:58Clinic.
23:00Danstable, come here.
23:02I can't just have you walking out of the class when you feel like it.
23:05You must ask me first.
23:07I've got permission off Mr Wiggins.
23:09I always go to the clinic Mondays.
23:11It's true, sir. They do those feet down there.
23:13It's a lady with glasses.
23:15She can't be the Messiah, can she?
23:18Now, look.
23:20Now, that's enough.
23:22Now, Danstable.
23:23You may go,
23:24but in future, you must ask me every time.
23:27But there's no need, sir.
23:29I always go Fridays.
23:32Yes, yes, all right.
23:33Yes, you may go.
23:35Shall I do the register for you, sir?
23:37You will sit quietly, call me sir,
23:39and speak when you are spoken to.
23:41And that goes for the rest of you as well.
23:44Now, answer your names as I call them out.
23:48Abby Puffoff.
23:52Abby Puffoff.
23:59Have I been applauded?
24:03All right, how do you pronounce this name?
24:05Abbe Pelogophilis, sir.
24:07Thank you.
24:08We call him Macarios.
24:11I am really not interested in what you call him.
24:14All right.
24:16Abby Pelogophilis.
24:21Well, answer up.
24:22Here and here, sir.
24:26He's at the juvenile court, sir,
24:28for nicking cars.
24:31Nicking cars.
24:36Abbott.
24:38Yo.
24:40Present, sir.
24:42Sorry, sir.
24:44Bullock.
24:46Present, sir.
24:52Cottage Craven.
24:56Oh, dear, that is good.
24:57I'm here.
25:00Duffy.
25:01Sir.
25:04So, you're Duffy.
25:06Well, I shall certainly remember your name.
25:09Well, I shall remember your name, you know, sir.
25:16Right.
25:19Dunstable.
25:21Clinic.
25:23Eversleigh.
25:29That's enough.
25:30I will not stand for any more of this insolence.
25:32The next offender will be severely punished.
25:34I mean that.
25:40Now, come along, Eversleigh.
25:41Answer up.
25:51Present, sir.
26:21I'm sorry.
26:52Sir.
26:55Yes, Maureen.
26:57Are you taking us for any of those lessons?
26:59Ah, yes, yes.
27:00English and, er, and history.
27:03Oh.
27:04Good.
27:05Well, I reckon history's stupid, meself.
27:07Really?
27:08What did you do last Saturday, Craven?
27:10Eh?
27:11Well, I helped me old man when he was around in the morning.
27:13Is that what you mean?
27:14Hm?
27:15Yes, yes, go on.
27:16Played football in the afternoon.
27:17Went to a party with my friends.
27:19Played football in the afternoon.
27:20Went to a party with Keith Yimes in the evening.
27:22Why?
27:25And did you think that was a particularly stupid way to spend the day?
27:28No.
27:29Oh, Mum, what are you getting at?
27:31Come out with what your point is.
27:36Well, my point is that last Saturday is already a part of Craven's history
27:39and he said that wasn't stupid.
27:41Now, if in addition he learned anything from that day,
27:46we can see the point of history in general.
27:49We learn things from it.
27:52Ah, so we, er, learn things from it.
27:58Oh.
27:59Isn't that clever?
28:02Yes.
28:05Well, um, well, Craven, er, did you learn anything?
28:09Yeah.
28:10Yes, yes.
28:11Next time I go to Keith Yimes...
28:12Yes?
28:13Get there earlier.
28:14It's all a spear that was snapped up by the time I arrived.
28:25Dunstable?
28:30Dunstable, what's the matter?
28:32Nothing.
28:33What's up, Jane?
28:34Oh, come on, love, you've been crying, haven't you?
28:36You tell Maureen what's the matter, eh?
28:39All right, Maureen, you can, er, you can sit in your seat now, thank you.
28:42No, I'm only telling, Maureen.
28:45Oh.
28:46Er, very well.
28:51Well?
28:54It was her down at the clinic.
28:56She burned my socks.
28:59She said they was making my feet worse.
29:02Well, you have been wearing them rather a long time, Dennis.
29:05And she said if my mum wouldn't do nothing about the state of me, she would.
29:10Interfering care.
29:12Adam!
29:14And Dunstable, didn't they, er, didn't they give you any fresh socks down at the clinic?
29:18No, she only gave me some money.
29:23That was, er, to buy some new socks with.
29:26But me mum buys me socks.
29:28Yeah, but she doesn't have to, Dennis.
29:31Look, we'll take you out dinner time and buy you some new ones, eh?
29:34Oh.
29:35Oh.
29:40Thank you, Maureen.
29:46Right, now then, er, you must try and catch up with the rest of the class and copy your timetable down.
29:52Can I have my wireless back, sir?
29:54At the end of term, I told you.
29:56Go on, sir!
29:57Give him his wireless!
29:59He better give it to him, or we'll...
30:01Or what? Or what? Or what, Abbott?
30:03Well, he'll get more upset, won't he, sir?
30:06Oh, please, sir.
30:08Now, listen to me, all of you.
30:10You'll find out that when I say I do a thing, I do it.
30:14I said at the end of term, and I meant at the end of term.
30:20It wouldn't go on, would it? Would it hurt you?
30:22That's not the point. Dunstable's radio and his feet are not connected.
30:27If both of those things took away from him, what was his boy right?
30:30You're second, eh?
30:31Listen to me, Duffy.
30:32Don't think I don't know what you're up to.
30:34You're simply making an issue out of this radio to see how far I can be pushed.
30:37Oh, give it back to him, then!
30:39Don't you use that tone of voice to me, my lad, or you'll be for the high jump.
30:43Do what you like, Chief.
30:44We still think Dunstable should have his transistor back.
30:48Come on, Eric.
30:49Strike.
30:50Heads up.
30:53Easy.
30:59You old Welsh git!
31:05Oh, Hedges.
31:06Are you all right?
31:07I'm fine.
31:08I'm fine.
31:09I'm fine.
31:10I'm fine.
31:11I'm fine.
31:12I'm fine.
31:13I'm fine.
31:14I'm fine.
31:15I'm fine.
31:16Hedges.
31:17Are you coming for a...
31:24Hedges.
31:25Hmm?
31:26Are you coming for a cup of tea and a shot of adrenaline, are you?
31:31No, thanks.
31:32I think I'll just sit here quietly for a couple of minutes.
31:35Ah, got through to you, have they?
31:37Yes, they've trampled all over me.
31:39They're not like kids at all.
31:41They're so hard-bitten.
31:42Mutations, that's what they are, boy.
31:44Little pubescent bodies in the minds of ardent old lads.
31:47I didn't get through to them, Price.
31:49Not once.
31:51Didn't expect to, did you?
31:53Yes.
31:54Yes, I did.
31:55That's what I'm trained for.
31:57Oh, bloody hell, a crusader.
32:01Look, boy, you'd be a damn sight better employed trying to get through to Potter.
32:05I'd forgotten him.
32:06Yeah, I bet he hasn't forgotten you.
32:08Best try to patch things up before he shops you.
32:10Potter.
32:12Say, this desk's a bit shaky, isn't it?
32:14Shaky? If you bang it again, it'll probably fall apart.
32:17It was condemned last year because of Woodworm.
32:19You have to get Potter to get you a new one.
32:21How come this man wields so much power?
32:24Because if he puts his mind to it,
32:26he could paralyse his school in ten minutes flat.
32:29He's got keys to everything, including the headmaster's heart.
32:32Not that Cromwell will do anything but waffle,
32:34but Doris Watten-Ewer will take the punitive measures.
32:37Now, look, why don't you go and find Potter
32:40and give him the terribly sorry new boy acted hastily line?
32:45That's crawling.
32:47That's right.
33:06Ah, Potter.
33:10Ah, Potter?
33:17Mr Potter, if you don't mind.
33:20Yes, it's Mr Potter.
33:28Yes, Mr Edges?
33:31Look about this morning.
33:33Ah, yes.
33:34Well, I'd, er... I'd like to apologise.
33:37I'd like to apologise.
33:39I must have appeared rather rude. I didn't mean to, but...
33:42Terribly sorry, new boy acted hastily.
33:45You know how it is.
33:47No, I don't know how it is.
33:51Yes, well, let's just shake hands and forget it, eh?
33:56I don't know.
33:58Ah, come on.
34:00No.
34:02Come on.
34:03No, I said you... I said no.
34:05Come on.
34:06What are you doing? What do you think...
34:08Oi! Oi! Oi!
34:10You pushed me. That was deliberate.
34:12You... Oi!
34:13Oi!
34:14No.
34:16No.
34:18No.
34:19Deliberate push...
34:21I'm telling you, straight up, it was corral-y.
34:23Evil.
34:24One minute, Potter's on his feet.
34:26Then there's just a blur, and...
34:28Ah!
34:29He's fattened his back on a coque, isn't he?
34:31Well, I, er, putter at Mr Edges first.
34:33Yeah, I was talking to Ronnie Matthews in 5B, and he saw it,
34:36and he reckons Potter just slipped.
34:38Karate!
34:39Ribbit, give him a karate.
34:40Chop that ice cream, he cut and chopped firewood.
34:46Well, I don't know exactly what damage he's done, sir,
34:49but I think it was something major, you know.
34:51My poor fellow.
34:52Where exactly is the pain?
34:54The pain, sir?
34:55Well, it's all round, you see, sir.
34:57I mean, it's right here in the...
34:59In the kidneys?
35:00That's right, in the kidneys, yes.
35:03It starts at that leg, you see.
35:05Sir, no, please.
35:06I beg your pardon.
35:07You'd better sit down.
35:08Well, that's very kindly of you, Headmaster,
35:10but I don't think I can manage it, you see.
35:12Oh, dear, oh, dear.
35:13Potter, are you absolutely positive
35:15that Hedges struck you deliberately?
35:18Deliberately?
35:19He struck me several times.
35:21I'm an old desert rat, you know.
35:24And the Jerry never bleathed that I couldn't handle.
35:27But he used some kind of, I don't know,
35:29some sort of Japanese devilry on me.
35:31Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
35:32I shall have to take some very serious steps.
35:35Karate, sir?
35:36Karate.
35:37No, that's...
35:38That's what it's called, you see, sir.
35:40Oh, I beg your pardon.
35:41Abaton, isn't it?
35:42Oh, yes.
35:43Well, you're very good, Alfred.
35:44Thank you, yes.
35:45Karate.
35:47Oh, Mr. Hedges,
35:48the Headmaster would like to see you in his study.
35:51Oh.
35:52Oh, dear, all right.
35:56You could always plead insanity to Oliver.
35:59Well, if I had that lot for any more than one day,
36:01I reckon I could, thank God I haven't.
36:03Oh, what has happened to the crusading spirit, then?
36:05They only had to capture Jerusalem,
36:07not deal with five cities.
36:11Thank you, Headmaster, for taking my side.
36:13Thank you all.
36:16Hello.
36:19Hello.
36:23Aye, aye, watch it.
36:25Come.
36:28Oh, yes, Hedges, come in.
36:31Sit down.
36:33Yes, yes, sir.
36:37Hedges, what on earth made you attack poor Potter?
36:42Attack him, sir?
36:43I didn't attack him.
36:44Do you realise that if you have deranged his kidneys,
36:47his waterworks may be out of action for the rest of his life?
36:51His kidneys?
36:52If Potter insists that I attacked him,
36:55he's just an out-and-out liar.
37:00Hedges, will you please control yourself?
37:04Potter says...
37:05The point is, sir, whether you're going to believe me or him,
37:08I'd rather like to know, as a matter of fact,
37:10because if you're not...
37:11Please, please, will you keep your karate out of my study?
37:15I'm not going to.
37:16I'm not going to.
37:17I'm not going to.
37:18Please, will you keep your karate out of my study?
37:21Karate?
37:23Look, I'm sorry, sir.
37:25Sit down, sit down.
37:29Headmaster, may I...?
37:31Ah, Darius.
37:37I've just had Mr Wiggins on the telephone.
37:39He won't be back for some time,
37:41so I came to suggest we should leave Hedges with 5C.
37:44But I was just about to punish him.
37:475C is hardly a reward, Headmaster.
37:50No, you're right, Doris.
37:52That's what I shall do.
37:53You're very wise, sir.
37:55Oh, Hedges...
37:58I...
37:59We have some very good news for you.
38:18All right, sit down, all of you.
38:24Now, listen to me.
38:26This sort of behaviour has got to stop,
38:30because from now on, I am to be your permanent foremaster.
38:47No, I'm not.
38:56He does know karate.
39:08Right.
39:11Sit down.
39:18Now...
39:20The Hundred Years' War.
39:47APPLAUSE
40:17APPLAUSE