• 4 months ago
Apps make searching for love or easy sex more convenient. But having more options can make selecting a partner harder and commitment more complicated. How is this changing dating culture and our society?
Transcript
00:00The typical Tinder date is efficient and non-committal.
00:04Meeting several people one after another is no longer frowned upon.
00:11You want to get lots of matches.
00:13You want to meet up with lots of different people, but for short periods.
00:17Rather than saying, for example,
00:19I'm going to meet up with two potential partners and really get to know them.
00:23That's what we call low-cost logic,
00:25meaning it should be quick and not require too much emotional energy.
00:29The attitude is, I don't want to risk much or spend much money.
00:34Investing as little as possible, yet holding people to a high standard.
00:39After all, why settle for good enough,
00:42when the perfect match might just be one swipe away?
00:46The large pool of people on the apps can make decisions harder.
00:50Researchers call this choice overload.
00:52And we start to forget how to approach a person
00:55and strike up a conversation in real life.
00:58If all we do is practice how to approach each other online,
01:01it becomes more and more difficult for us to do so offline.
01:05You get the feeling you can't make contact in public spaces or initiate dates.
01:09Men have the feeling it's too risky to do so in a straight setting.
01:12Women lose the ability to signal that they can be approached,
01:15even though, interestingly, many want to be.
01:18Even when a date goes well, many users remain active on the apps.
01:22The fear that their partner might still be using Bumble or Tinder
01:26leads to frustration or insecurity.
01:28And ghosting, suddenly breaking off contact without explanation,
01:32is becoming more normalized.
01:35The dating app mentality has an impact on real life, too.
01:39We don't just ghost in the apps.
01:41We ghost our therapists, our dentists.
01:43We ghost the handyman we hired ourselves.
01:45Ghosting has spilled over.
01:48Our behaviors online and offline influence each other.
01:52Today, dating apps are not only used to find a partner, but also to find friends.

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