[[ Reelshort full ]] Trevor & The Virgin Full

  • 2 months ago
[[ Reelshort full ]] Trevor & The Virgin Full

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00:00There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school.
00:00:15And here he is, standing outside my dorm room, naked.
00:00:21Out of the way!
00:00:24What are you doing?
00:00:26Look, I'll explain later, just please don't tell her that I'm here.
00:00:29Tell who?
00:00:30Trevor?
00:00:31Please, what's your name again?
00:00:32Martha.
00:00:33Trevor, where the hell are you?
00:00:34Please, Martha, she's psycho.
00:00:36She's psycho?
00:00:37You're literally hiding under my bed, naked.
00:00:39Look, I'll owe you one, okay?
00:00:41Just get rid of her and I'll do anything.
00:00:43Okay, just tuck in your head.
00:00:46Thank you.
00:00:47Where is he?
00:00:48Where's who?
00:00:49Trevor.
00:00:50I saw him running this way.
00:00:52Gosh, I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:55Trevor Holt?
00:00:57Ball player?
00:00:58Huge.
00:00:59No, doesn't ring any balls, I mean bells.
00:01:03You're lying.
00:01:04Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is, even girls like you.
00:01:10I haven't seen him.
00:01:13Also, you've got a little...
00:01:17I'm watching you.
00:01:24Granny panties?
00:01:25Seriously?
00:01:26How many of those boner killers do you own?
00:01:29None of your business.
00:01:31Cover up.
00:01:32No, thanks for handling that Tilla situation.
00:01:35She's become a bit of an issue.
00:01:37Why, did she ask for something, like commitment?
00:01:40No, actually, she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend.
00:01:43I don't like her like that and she doesn't get the hint.
00:01:45She jumped me in the shower.
00:01:47I'm sorry, I didn't...
00:01:48Anyway, what'll it be?
00:01:51Huh?
00:01:52I said I owed you one.
00:01:53I'm a man of my word.
00:01:59This is my chance.
00:02:01A favor from Trevor Holt.
00:02:02And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:05What can I do you for, Martha?
00:02:07Drew Longhorn!
00:02:09Drew Longhorn?
00:02:10Yeah, Drew Longhorn.
00:02:12What about Drew Longhorn?
00:02:13I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:17Sorry, why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn?
00:02:22He was my lab partner freshman year.
00:02:24We had chemistry.
00:02:27You had chemistry?
00:02:28Yes.
00:02:30Okay.
00:02:31You want his attention?
00:02:33Then we'll get his attention.
00:02:34But not in that.
00:02:36Guys like Drew, they only go for one kind of girl.
00:02:39And it's not...
00:02:40Forget it.
00:02:41Hey.
00:02:42No, let's just forget the whole thing.
00:02:43Hey, I'm an ass, okay?
00:02:45I just meant that this stuff doesn't play up your assets, you know?
00:02:49You're really pretty.
00:02:50You need to show it.
00:02:52You're messing with me.
00:02:53I'm not.
00:02:54I swear.
00:02:56You're just going to have to trust me.
00:03:00Okay.
00:03:01First, you show up at the party with me.
00:03:03Everyone's going to notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:05And second, we need to go shopping.
00:03:09Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four!
00:03:20Ta-da.
00:03:22Where did you get all this?
00:03:23It's my one-night stand box.
00:03:25Go on, take your pick.
00:03:27It's my one-night stand box.
00:03:29Go on, take your pick.
00:03:31No, thank you.
00:03:33I'm not parading around in your hook-up trophies.
00:03:37What?
00:03:38These aren't trophies.
00:03:39These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:42They're also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn.
00:03:45So...
00:03:48I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:51I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:56No.
00:03:57Come on, Martha.
00:03:58This stuff's hot.
00:04:00Come on.
00:04:02Just wear it.
00:04:03Trust me.
00:04:04I've worn it.
00:04:05I haven't worn it.
00:04:06I lied.
00:04:07I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts.
00:04:12Turn around.
00:04:14Are your eyes closed?
00:04:16Oh, yeah.
00:04:17Totally.
00:04:32Okay.
00:04:33Turn around.
00:04:38Wow.
00:04:40Tripper!
00:04:41What?
00:04:42What?
00:04:43It's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:44Just get dressed, please.
00:04:45As you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:47Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:54Oh, my God.
00:04:55Did I just tell Tripper Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:05:00No.
00:05:01I'm not doing this.
00:05:04Okay.
00:05:05I guess I'm doing this.
00:05:12All right, there's three things I need you to remember, okay?
00:05:14Three simple tricks to get any man's attention.
00:05:17You listening?
00:05:18Yep.
00:05:19Okay.
00:05:20One, eye contact.
00:05:22Not like that.
00:05:24And two, you need to know how to do it.
00:05:27Okay.
00:05:28Eye contact.
00:05:29Not like that.
00:05:31And two, you need to smile at him.
00:05:34Look, come on, this is serious.
00:05:36I'm very serious.
00:05:38All right, and three, find a casual way to touch him.
00:05:41You know, quick hand on the arm, you know, brush it on his bicep.
00:05:44You know, he'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:46Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:48Because this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here, okay?
00:05:52All he does is play games.
00:05:58You ready?
00:06:02Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:04Wow, that was really good.
00:06:07I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:09Oh.
00:06:11I spoke too soon.
00:06:13I got it.
00:06:14Thanks.
00:06:28Hey, everyone.
00:06:30This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:33He's kidding, everyone.
00:06:34We're just friends.
00:06:35Oh, Mar-Mar, stop being so coy.
00:06:37We're in love.
00:06:39What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:41Just trust me.
00:06:42If Drew thinks we're together, it'll pique his interest.
00:06:44Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:46It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone,
00:06:48especially if that someone is me.
00:06:50Who's going to believe this anyway?
00:06:52Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:55No.
00:06:56Guys like me don't like commitment, remember?
00:06:58Trev.
00:06:59What's up, man?
00:07:03I see you brought a friend.
00:07:05Yeah, this is, uh...
00:07:06You look familiar.
00:07:07Have we met?
00:07:08Yeah, we had chemistry.
00:07:10We had science class.
00:07:12We were lab partners.
00:07:14Oh, yeah.
00:07:15That class was such a joke, am I right?
00:07:18Yeah, definitely a total joke.
00:07:21But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second.
00:07:26Two seconds.
00:07:28Got him.
00:07:30What did you say your name was again?
00:07:32Her name's Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey, guys, we're playing a game of drink or dare in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:42Sure.
00:07:43Sweet.
00:07:44See you there.
00:07:48That was good, right?
00:07:50Have you played drink or dare before?
00:07:52Yeah, but how hard can it be?
00:07:54I got this.
00:08:02Conker, your girlfriend's here.
00:08:04So what?
00:08:05So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:08:07So? Just ignore her.
00:08:09My turn.
00:08:11Tila, drink or dare?
00:08:13I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:15Drink.
00:08:17I want you to drink with...
00:08:21Trevor.
00:08:22Okay.
00:08:24I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:26Drink.
00:08:28I want you to drink with...
00:08:32Trevor.
00:08:33Okay.
00:08:38Open up.
00:08:52What's in it?
00:08:56Yum.
00:08:58Okay, my turn.
00:09:00You, drink or dare?
00:09:03Dare.
00:09:07Okay.
00:09:09I dare you to take off your panties and put them in the middle of the circle for the rest of the game.
00:09:15Hello? What are you waiting for?
00:09:18You don't have to do this.
00:09:20Yes, she does.
00:09:22Um, unfortunately, I can't do that, Tila.
00:09:26Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:32You're up next, Martha.
00:09:34Drew, drink or dare?
00:09:37Drink.
00:09:39I want you to drink with...
00:09:43I want you to drink with me.
00:09:46My pleasure.
00:09:48This is my chance to do what I've been dreaming about since freshman year.
00:10:13I should be happy.
00:10:24This is what I've always wanted.
00:10:27But...
00:10:29That was hot.
00:10:31Yeah.
00:10:32I hope I didn't make things weird between you two.
00:10:35No, it's fine.
00:10:37I always wondered what happened to you after that class.
00:10:40Never saw you around.
00:10:42I've seen Drew roughly 83 times since that class ended.
00:10:45Yeah, me too.
00:10:47I'd love to hang out sometime.
00:10:49Yeah, I'd like that.
00:10:50Great.
00:10:51Give me your number.
00:10:57I just sent you a special message.
00:10:59Let me know when you get it.
00:11:01Trev has my phone.
00:11:02I'll be right back.
00:11:08Okay.
00:11:09Who's next?
00:11:11Trevor?
00:11:17Trevor!
00:11:18Okay, sorry.
00:11:22Trevor!
00:11:34You win, Tilla James.
00:11:36You win.
00:11:41You win.
00:11:52You okay?
00:11:57I'm leaving.
00:11:58You can stay.
00:11:59I just need my phone.
00:12:01Okay, where's my cigarettes?
00:12:03I'll walk you home.
00:12:04Give them to me.
00:12:05No, you have to give them.
00:12:06I know that you have them.
00:12:09Your advice didn't work.
00:12:11Just so you know.
00:12:13It was probably for the best.
00:12:15You two never would have worked out.
00:12:17And why is that, Trevor?
00:12:19Is he too hot for me?
00:12:21Too popular?
00:12:23Or is it just pathetically obvious
00:12:25that I'm a frumpy nerd in a stolen sex dress?
00:12:28No.
00:12:30To all three.
00:12:32You want to know my three reasons?
00:12:33Not particularly.
00:12:35One, he's a douche.
00:12:37Two, you're not a douche.
00:12:39You're doing great so far.
00:12:41Three, you guys had zero chemistry.
00:12:43That kiss was a hot mess.
00:12:45And I can tell you weren't that into it, so...
00:12:51You're right.
00:12:54It was kind of terrible.
00:12:57Oh, but that look on Tilla's face
00:12:59when you told her you weren't wearing any panties.
00:13:01Oh, priceless.
00:13:03How do you do it?
00:13:06Do what?
00:13:08Hide your emotions.
00:13:10They're just so...
00:13:12easy to read.
00:13:14I noticed.
00:13:16I'm serious, Trevor.
00:13:18What's your secret?
00:13:20I want to learn how to not care
00:13:22about anything like you do.
00:13:24There is no secret.
00:13:27It's just who I am, right?
00:13:30Oh, and before I forget...
00:13:37Hello?
00:13:49Tonight wasn't what I expected, but...
00:13:52thank you.
00:13:54Oh, you don't have to thank me.
00:13:56I owed you one.
00:13:58I guess I missed that.
00:14:00No, I'm glad you knocked on my door.
00:14:03Oh, even after everything that happened tonight?
00:14:05Yeah, because...
00:14:07even though it was kind of awful,
00:14:09I got my first kiss.
00:14:12I'm gonna go.
00:14:15Good night, Trevor.
00:14:36That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:51And there it was.
00:14:53The thing I had been looking for.
00:14:56Chemistry.
00:14:58Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest...
00:15:01Chemistry.
00:15:03Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest...
00:15:05you-know-what on campus.
00:15:08And me.
00:15:10The virgin.
00:15:20Rumor has it that
00:15:22every girl on campus once drew Longhorn.
00:15:25Every girl...
00:15:27except me.
00:15:29Because after last week,
00:15:31I could not be more overdrew.
00:15:34Martha.
00:15:36Mind if I join you?
00:15:38So, where did you run off to
00:15:40after the party on Saturday?
00:15:42I had to go home to study.
00:15:45I have a big test coming up.
00:15:47What are you up to later?
00:15:49Probably more studying.
00:15:51Why?
00:15:53The wet party.
00:15:56The wet party?
00:15:58It's only the most exclusive frat party on campus.
00:16:02So of course I've never been invited.
00:16:05What about it?
00:16:07You in?
00:16:09I've never even wanted to go to a party like this before.
00:16:12But it could be the perfect way to get over.
00:16:15Wait.
00:16:16Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:18Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:19Hold?
00:16:20Nah.
00:16:21He's been ghosting me.
00:16:22Think he's out.
00:16:23Then I'm in.
00:16:24Excellent.
00:16:27Oh.
00:16:28And bring a friend.
00:16:30A female friend?
00:16:34What are those?
00:16:36Guess who just got us tickets to
00:16:38the wet party.
00:16:41Since when do you find frat parties fun?
00:16:44I just wanted to try something different.
00:16:46Like being drooled over by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags?
00:16:49Maybe.
00:16:51Does this have anything to do with Trevor Holt?
00:16:53No.
00:16:55Yes.
00:16:56Okay.
00:16:57I just keep playing the night over and over in my head
00:17:00trying to see what went wrong.
00:17:02I mean, things were going so well.
00:17:04We had chemistry.
00:17:12How could he just walk out on me after I asked him to?
00:17:16You know.
00:17:17Take your virginity.
00:17:19Shh.
00:17:20Don't say that word.
00:17:21What word?
00:17:22What word?
00:17:24Virginity.
00:17:25There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Mar.
00:17:28Tell that to Trevor.
00:17:29He hasn't talked to me since that night.
00:17:31Screw him.
00:17:32That guy's got a reputation for a reason.
00:17:34I'm just so used to achieving everything I set my mind to.
00:17:37I've gotten straight A's, scholarships.
00:17:39Why can't I get a guy?
00:17:41I don't think it works that way, Mar.
00:17:43You're right.
00:17:44And you know what?
00:17:45Forget this stupid party.
00:17:47I'd rather study anyway.
00:17:48Oh no.
00:17:49We're going to that party.
00:17:51We are?
00:17:52Yup.
00:17:53And forget these dumb books.
00:17:55All you need are Deb's three simple rules for getting over any guy.
00:17:58Deb's three simple rules?
00:18:00Shh.
00:18:07Step one.
00:18:08Dress to impress.
00:18:10Okay.
00:18:11But don't do it for any guy.
00:18:13Do it for you.
00:18:16Step one.
00:18:17Dress to impress.
00:18:18Check.
00:18:20Step two.
00:18:21Find someone new to flirt with.
00:18:23Basic prep, bro.
00:18:24Check.
00:18:25That's Drew Longhorn?
00:18:26He's cute.
00:18:28He's a chauvinist douchebag.
00:18:30You're what?
00:18:31Doesn't mean a girl can't look.
00:18:37Step three.
00:18:38To really get over a guy, you gotta put yourself out there.
00:18:41Show the world who Martha really is.
00:18:47Oh, what's wrong?
00:18:49I already did that, Deb.
00:18:51I put myself out there with Trevor.
00:18:53Showed him who I really am.
00:18:54And he rejected me.
00:18:55Yeah, but it's not...
00:18:56No.
00:18:58From now on, I'm a closed book.
00:19:02Great.
00:19:03This'll be fun.
00:19:20Hey, stop.
00:19:23Stop.
00:19:40Trevor Holt.
00:19:42He wasn't supposed to be here.
00:19:44Trevor Holt.
00:19:46he wasn't supposed to be here but now that he is Martha glad you could make it
00:19:53and you brought a friend to Longhorn in the flesh and you are drew this is my
00:20:01best friend Deb it's a pleasure Debra what are you doing here hello to you
00:20:11Trevor they're here with me Holt none of your concern can we talk alone I need a
00:20:19refill anyway Debra care to join me but you came here with drew really why
00:20:28jealous after the kiss last week no he's right that was pretty much the worst
00:20:36kiss of all time I just thought it would be fun Martha this party these people
00:20:42it's not your thing oh yeah well maybe you don't know me as well as you think
00:20:46please you're an open book that's what I like about you Trevor up for a round of
00:20:52beer pong hello no yes maybe I'm not such an open book after all can't we
00:21:02talk about what happened there's nothing to talk about just give me a second to
00:21:06explain you who let you into this party who let you into this college have you
00:21:12ever even played beer pong before there's a first time for everything all
00:21:17right it's true to a team so who's it gonna be the clueless nerd or me her
00:21:24fine drew you're on my team let's do this Debra are you in oh no I am
00:21:32I'll just watch you sure you know what what's up the stakes what did you have
00:21:41in mind what about strip beer pong oh sweet come on to her I'm game you know
00:21:50how to play beer pong what are the rules every time we sink a ball one of you
00:21:55clothing oh yeah and vice versa so if Trevor makes it nice trip seems easy
00:22:03enough come on Holt it's game time let's go
00:22:07ladies first
00:22:15hold on your form is way off may I
00:22:24okay that's not even fair you practically gave that one to her Trev you're
00:22:38not afraid of a little competition are you too long oh ladies ladies let me
00:22:45show you both how it's done great job
00:23:05alright Trevor you know the rules you are so lame you're up one other lesson I
00:23:13think I can handle myself I learned quick okay I called BS there's no way an
00:23:21amateur like her could have made that shot it's called studying till I ever
00:23:25tried it game time your turn nerd strip you don't have to do this not for her I
00:23:38know I'm doing it for me they're happy Trevor it's your turn I got it I got it
00:23:57whatever we talk now please there's nothing to talk about just tell you why
00:24:02you can't seem to commit to anything no don't care about anyone but yourself no
00:24:06think I'm just some clueless nerd I don't then why Trevor why did you walk
00:24:11out on me why I just didn't want to sleep with you
00:24:15found it what I missed
00:24:33I guess I win you cannot leave not now didn't you see what happened back there
00:24:43now everybody knows that Trevor hold the guy with the one night stand box
00:24:47doesn't want to sleep with me Oh Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor who cares
00:24:51Ma he told the entire school that he passed up the opportunity to sleep with
00:24:56you hey the Martha I know doesn't give up okay the Martha I know succeeds at
00:25:03everything she sets her mind to the Martha you know is also still into some
00:25:07guy who rejected her I should hate him but I don't I can't a part of me still
00:25:17wants to be with him even after all that this is serious so hold my hand okay if
00:25:23Trevor can't see how amazing you are more than he doesn't deserve you but I
00:25:28know there's someone out there who does okay so just no no no like that okay
00:25:33great Oh remember step three you got to keep putting yourself out there okay
00:25:43okay wait I have an idea wait where are you going I'm putting myself out there
00:25:58okay hey everybody listen up Wow there's a lot of you okay um well my
00:26:12name is Martha and as you may have heard Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with
00:26:17me but there's more to me than that so here goes
00:26:23tilla James you called me a clueless nerd and you're right I'm a huge nerd I
00:26:30like to spend Saturday nights in my dorm room studying I mean last weekend was my
00:26:34first party can you believe that I've been so busy studying that I think I've
00:26:39missed out on the important parts of college like getting to know myself I
00:26:44guess what I'm trying to say is I am clueless
00:26:51especially when it comes to love I've never slept with anyone or dated anyone
00:26:57but I don't care that I'm a virgin because when the time is right it will
00:27:04happen and it will be on my terms and I don't care if somebody doesn't want to
00:27:09sleep with me or if somebody doesn't like me because I like me just the way I
00:27:14am
00:27:21putting myself out there check I can't believe I just told everyone on campus
00:27:27that I'm a virgin
00:27:39hi I'm Trevor some of you may know me as something of a douche I'll admit I've
00:27:51been with a lot of girls but that's only because before any of you knew me back
00:27:57in high school someone broke my heart when I got to college I slept my way
00:28:02around campus to prevent myself from getting hurt again I even developed a
00:28:06bit of a reputation and I was fine with that but the other night everything
00:28:14changed when I met Martha Martha you're not just another one-night stand you're
00:28:21amazing and I'm sorry I pushed you away I just I didn't want to sleep with you
00:28:26because I wanted your first time to be special and this may sound stupid coming
00:28:31from me but I didn't want to rush it I really really like you Martha and I know
00:28:38I don't deserve it but if you just if you give me one more chance I guess what
00:28:43was that I said yes I will give you one more chance Trevor
00:29:01I think you're funny charming and secretly sweet and hot like so hot most
00:29:24of you already know me but I'm Drew and I really hate parties oh yeah I always
00:29:34get nervous and wind up saying things I don't mean making out with people I
00:29:38don't like but today was different because today I met someone I think I
00:29:44actually really do like so maybe I don't have to go to any more of these stupid
00:29:51parties I do love drinking though I know you guys think I'm like really mean or
00:30:01whatever but that's just because I'm brutally honest and if you don't like it
00:30:05that's your problem
00:30:22so there it is that's how Trevor Holt the hottest a guy in school started
00:30:30dating me the virgin but you'll just have to imagine the rest
00:30:38I wonder if I look different now that I
00:30:49oh my god you did it didn't you did what you had sex with Trevor oh why
00:31:12oh my god you're glowing I want all the deets it happened I'm not a virgin
00:31:20anymore where did you get that I found it in Drew's closet this morning what
00:31:28were you doing in Drew's closet this morning yeah no mark you're not changing
00:31:32the subject so how was it it was nice is that his hat yeah it still smells like
00:31:40him too oh my god you're so in love oh Deb I have to hop on the study buddy
00:31:47zoom I'll call you later yeah not a chance Mar you still have two
00:31:50minutes so hurry up and dish the dirt fine it was romantic I mean Trevor is an
00:31:58amazing kisser he does this thing where he kissed along my jawline oh my god
00:32:03mark two minutes off of the kissing on to the good stuff the kissing was the
00:32:07good stuff what the sex wasn't good it was not best yeah okay so you know that
00:32:17rumor about Trevor about his yes god yes sorry yes so it's true and it was kind
00:32:25of uncomfortable yeah honestly Mar it's um it's pretty uncomfortable for every
00:32:33girl their first time no matter what the size I've just been dreaming about this
00:32:37moment for as long as I can remember and then it just happened and it didn't
00:32:44feel great I wish they told us that I wish I told you that but I'm not lying
00:32:52when I say it does get better though it just may never get better what do you
00:32:57mean I mean you gotta find the right match emotionally and physically and
00:33:03then that's when things start getting real good what if it wasn't good for him
00:33:09either I'm sure it was good for him he gave you his hat
00:33:16yeah but he hasn't responded to any of my texts this morning what if he woke up
00:33:21and he realized he's over me okay first of all he's probably still asleep and
00:33:25secondly I'm sending you an article on this it is very scientific I'm just
00:33:30gonna keep trying that's what the article says I'm gonna keep having sex
00:33:36with Trevor and get it right that's the spirit oh Deb I gotta go I'm late for
00:33:42study buddies okay call me later oh my god seriously you again you're taking
00:33:54French for a one yeah Martha I mean who wouldn't want to take French porn that's
00:33:59what French porn the famous class on French cinema I mean it's all about hot
00:34:06French guys threesomes I think you're in the wrong class Tila this is an advanced
00:34:11history class on the French Revolution oh my god I can't believe I forgot that
00:34:17you're such a loser bye Martha
00:34:29hi I can see you hello hi can you see me hello I can see you oh this video yes
00:34:47this is a zoom call for French 401 the class about the French Revolution not
00:34:51porn sorry I'm a bit of a virgin at this sorry what it's my first time okay you
00:34:59using zoom right yes of course uh mine too actually virgin still a virgin what's
00:35:06this you're saying about porn I was just saying that this is not a class on
00:35:11French porn it's class on the history of the French Revolution yeah I know I'm a
00:35:16history major what's your major chemistry I'm Brett by the way Martha
00:35:26we should probably get to studying huh yeah so what are your thoughts about
00:35:31Napoleon do you really think he had a small I told you this isn't French porn
00:35:38I was going to say army but I can see your mind's on something else today oh
00:35:46yeah sorry you're glowing you know that do you need to grab that actually
00:35:56apparently it's pretty important so I might I'll call you right back I'll be
00:36:01here waiting what is so urgent
00:36:08Mar Trevor's dead
00:36:14hey how you doing today just another day without Trevor Mar it's time to take the
00:36:40hat off I can't it's all I have left yeah it's been weeks so just take it off
00:36:47and wash it no I still can't believe it there he was just walking across the
00:36:55street carrying his one-night stand box and then BAM hit by a bus thought it was
00:37:00a car I think it was a bus no no it was a car a tiny car like a Fiat I still
00:37:06don't know why he was carrying the one-night stand box I heard that when
00:37:10they found him he had a pink thong on his face wonderful the love of my life
00:37:15died wearing a thong on his face and it wasn't even mine it's like I never knew
00:37:20love before Trevor and now I will never know love again one second where was I
00:37:30oh yeah maybe I should just join a convent do they take nuns if you're
00:37:35almost a virgin I love you I do but enough I cannot sit here and watch you
00:37:43hollow in despair okay Trevor yes he's dead and yes that's sad but it is time
00:37:51to move on I can't move on Deb I loved him you knew him for one week he has
00:37:57been dead for four he has been dead for longer than you knew him sorry this
00:38:03harsh it's just that Trevor would want you to be happy and he would want you to
00:38:10find love yeah maybe you're right hang on one more second
00:38:16oh it's Brett he's going to be late for our study zoom again speaking of moving
00:38:24oh god what of course he is he's hot and alive he's also always late would rather
00:38:34surf than study and yet get straight A's by practically sleeping through class so
00:38:39you're just jealous cuz he's smarter than you all I'm saying is that we don't
00:38:43have chemistry oh what nothing it's just this is nice I've missed you and I've
00:38:53really missed not telling you about the 25 times I had sex with you longhorn
00:38:5825 times Oh 26 actually oh my god so how's the sex oh my god it's amazing
00:39:07really remember when I told you that when you meet your match it gets really
00:39:11good well he is my game set match what made the sex so good well he takes
00:39:20direction very well you give him direction of course yes how else is a
00:39:25girl supposed to get what she needs and girl I got what I needed last night go
00:39:31on you're blushing what no no no but you should be why sex is a beautiful thing
00:39:39what did he do that made it so good well remember how you kissed him at the
00:39:45drink-or-dare party yeah I remember the night that Trevor pretended to be my
00:39:51boyfriend yeah remember this like crazy tongue thing that he did and you lift
00:39:56your whole face off mm-hmm let's just say that works better elsewhere that was
00:40:03the night that Trevor gave me my first real kiss the night that forever changed
00:40:09my life what am I just too sad for you yeah actually you're really sad because
00:40:18you know what I'm your best friend and all we ever talked about is you when was
00:40:21the last time we talked about literally just now I have been sleeping with Drew
00:40:27for a month and you just heard about it I'm sorry that I'm trying to process the
00:40:37death of my boyfriend he was not your boyfriend he was just some guy that you
00:40:44lost your virginity to you're being a bitch good
00:40:56what do you want Martha oh hi Drew what do you want I was just calling to do a
00:41:03little undercover work yeah you know a little secret detective just tell me
00:41:08what you want Drew okay sorry I was just wondering what's
00:41:12Deb's favorite color oh sorry it's orange thanks sorry to bother you yeah
00:41:18no problem sorry I snapped at you I've just been having not a great day that's
00:41:24Trev's hat isn't it yeah I miss him so much I've never had a friend die before
00:41:30me neither I gotta get something off my chest what Trevor's death was my fault
00:41:37you were there no but he called me that morning he told me that he was really
00:41:43serious about you and I didn't believe that he'd be serious until he got rid of
00:41:49the one that's 10 bucks we were gonna burn the box together he got hit when he
00:41:55was on his way over truth that that doesn't make it your fault that doesn't
00:42:00make it your fault well it feels like it they say Trevor tried to get out of the
00:42:05way but his ankle seized up knee couldn't move stupid old injury sorry
00:42:12what injury you know Trevor hurt his ankle during football really yes and he
00:42:19hurt it again like three weeks before he died you didn't know that I didn't know
00:42:22him then what I thought you guys were in love we met the week before he died
00:42:28what a whirlwind romance yeah I guess you could say that so did you ever get
00:42:32to meet a twin sister Trevor had a twin yeah Taylor super hot she goes to school
00:42:39here too I guess I didn't meet her you know I should probably introduce Deb to
00:42:43my family soon too just in case in case you die I think we're ready to take the
00:42:49next step to make it official that's actually sweet yeah I need to go buy
00:42:55her some orange flowers hey drew what was Trevor's favorite color the dude
00:43:00loved blue you know he was almost gonna go to Duke just cuz of school colors he
00:43:05almost went to Duke yeah I guess there's a lot you didn't know about him I guess
00:43:09so anyways thanks for the intel Martha catch you later
00:43:17Oh study buddies hey wasn't sure if you're gonna make it yeah sorry I'm late
00:43:31no don't apologize I've been like a thousand times it's
00:43:36something I'm working on you okay yeah Deb and I just got in a big fight about
00:43:42Trevor your ex-boyfriend who died yeah and then Drew called me and told me
00:43:48that I didn't really know him Wow that's dickish oh he didn't actually say that
00:43:53and anyway he's right how are you and Deb in a fight about someone who's dead
00:43:58she thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on well I think you should take as
00:44:03much time as you need you know someone once told me it takes half the amount of
00:44:07time you're in the relationship to get over them so it should have taken me
00:44:11three and a half days you're not kidding I only knew him for a week and we were
00:44:22in a fight for like half of that I'm so confused and it wasn't even my real
00:44:27boyfriend I mean we had sex we wasn't like not my boyfriend oh why am I
00:44:31telling you all this no this is good this is good it's starting to make more
00:44:35sense now what that I'm a fool no that you're still processing you know it all
00:44:40happens so fast give yourself time it'll heal
00:44:44thanks Brett oh it's Deb do you mind if I answer this go for it I'll just be here
00:44:52reading about Napoleon small army hey Deb Martha hey Mar I am so sorry no I
00:45:08do you were just trying to help me and you know what you're right I barely knew
00:45:12him did you know he almost went to Duke yeah anyway I'm really sorry for being a
00:45:19selfish friend and I promise I will always be here to listen to stories
00:45:23about Drew's tongue game I should not be listening to this and I'm sorry to Mar
00:45:28having sex for the first time is such a big deal and then waking up the very
00:45:33next day and finding out that the guy you lost your virginity to is dead oh my
00:45:40god could you hear all of that yeah no yeah yeah I mean I wasn't wasn't
00:45:48listening but how about you guys finish up your conversation and then we can
00:45:51pick this yeah okay bye oh my god
00:46:02hey Deb I really can't talk right now Brett and I have a big project due
00:46:06tomorrow and he's late with his part I guess
00:46:11Deb what's wrong oh my god oh my god you're pregnant
00:46:20I don't even know how to hold it. It peed on it. Oh I thought you guys use condoms. We use so many. We have so much sex and use so many.
00:46:33well they do say the effectiveness is only 98% so this is a fascinating case
00:46:37study Martha sorry not being helpful are you gonna keep it I don't know I
00:46:45have so many plans for my career I don't think I'm ready to be a mom well what
00:46:50did Drew say he doesn't know Deb you have to tell him I can't he's taking me
00:46:56to see his parents tonight he's taking me to see his parents tonight
00:47:00he told me they're super traditional and they think Drew's a virgin and they're
00:47:05gonna think that I corrupted their son okay Deb Drew loves you I know he'll be
00:47:11supportive and I'm sure his parents will come around too oh that's him what do I
00:47:16do you tell the truth okay I'll call you later okay good luck well hello my
00:47:27beautiful lady I require your assistance in selecting the appropriate attire for
00:47:32this evening what do you think blue orange orange it matches my dress is
00:47:38that new mascara you're wearing you look smoldering um Drew B I have something
00:47:45that I need to tell you oh I already know what you're gonna say you do you're
00:47:51afraid my mom's gonna make you eat cheese but don't worry I already
00:47:56explained the whole veganism thing to her anyway and she totally gets it now
00:47:59she's making vegan meatloaf for dinner so are you excited to meet my parents
00:48:06tonight because they are stoked to meet you are you excited to meet my parents
00:48:11tonight because they are stoked to meet you they're not gonna be very stoked
00:48:17about me are you kidding me they're gonna absolutely love you this is the
00:48:22first time I'm ever bringing a girl over oh no really yeah absolutely adore
00:48:30you hey you my lady are perfect trust me okay I'll see you soon
00:48:43how'd it go I couldn't tell him Deb it's his baby you have to tell him at some
00:48:48point nope I just gotta make it through tonight because his parents are so
00:48:53excited to meet me and they won't be able to tell I'm pregnant because I'm
00:48:57just bloated so I will tell him when we get home oh it's Brett we gotta finish
00:49:06this assignment you got this Deb
00:49:36oh I think I'm gonna puke more drinking on a Tuesday night huh been there done that
00:49:44oh Tila sorry I thought you were Martha what ew no hey hey are you in the longhorns upstairs
00:49:52bathroom yes I knew I recognized it I puked there once during a ranger so is Drew having a party
00:50:03I'm at dinner with his parents oh the food's that bad no I'm just not feeling very well
00:50:09anyway what do you want well uh that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy
00:50:16all right listen I need help on our French porn homework can we just talk later you'd like to
00:50:22friend what do you mean you'd like to friend what do you mean oh my god what what are you
00:50:33pregnant no how can you tell I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things oh my god do you think
00:50:41his parents know oh my god you haven't told Drew yet have you everything okay in there babe yes
00:50:49fantastic I am just changing my tampon well my mom said that uh she wanted me to bring you some
00:50:56seltzer water she thinks you look a little flushed no uh was it the meatloaf no Drew B I'm
00:51:05just taking a real big poop I you just go back into dinner and I'll see you in a minute uh okay
00:51:13let me know if you need anything will do okay mrs longhorn is oblivious she thinks all girls are
00:51:24angels she even called me an angel one time after I threw up a liter of vodka in her bathroom
00:51:30how do I get out of this just uh go back out there and tell them you were up late studying
00:51:36and you feel like shit and then go home with Drew and fess up okay thank you Dilla
00:51:43that was weirdly helpful no biggie
00:51:47you
00:51:53are you mad at me babe no is it because I kissed Martha that one time I didn't even know you back
00:52:00then no did my parents say something that upset you I ruined everything tonight you didn't babe
00:52:07my mom loved you she said that you're you're like an angel if only they knew I corrupted their son
00:52:15babe what are you talking about check my purse
00:52:28um what am I looking for
00:52:30oh my god I'm so sorry yeah oh man what I thought you'd be devastated what about your parents
00:52:48devastated babe my mom loves babies you know what this means though right
00:53:01Deborah Davis will you period period period I have my period
00:53:13game set match
00:53:15oh
00:53:25hey what's up guess what what I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't
00:53:32include books um how is that studying you'll see first I need you to turn off all of your lights
00:53:40uh what just just do it quick
00:53:46and then turn on those little twinkly lights above your bed why do I get the feeling I'm not
00:53:51going to learn anything Martha a little trust please so are you going to tell me what we're
00:53:57doing the history channel is streaming in a poly and biopic which covers everything in our current
00:54:04really yeah and I thought we could watch it together that actually sounds fun I'm gonna
00:54:09send you the link oh I wish I had popcorn or something yeah that would be nice all right
00:54:17I'm gonna start it oh wait hold on one second
00:54:34it's weird this takeout delivery guy just showed up and I didn't even order anything I did
00:54:43what yeah I thought we'd get hungry so I ordered us french food because of Napoleon uh I'm sorry
00:54:50not to be a downer or anything but this isn't studying it's not supposed to be
00:54:56huh it's a date Martha hi oh uh I sorry I'm confused I've been wanting to ask you out
00:55:08but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet after Trevor so I thought I'd act like it was a study
00:55:14thing and see how you felt at the end that's actually really sweet right but this is not
00:55:21gonna work why are you kidding me we're study buddies what's gonna happen if this date doesn't
00:55:28go well and then things get awkward and we get a bad grade on the assignment and then
00:55:31I flunk out of class okay if we won't study buddies then would you be interested in me
00:55:39well yeah I guess why are you blushing I didn't say the word virgin
00:55:46Brent look my motto is to live in the now so worrying about how this could get awkward in
00:55:52the future it's pointless okay and if it does get awkward I'll still be glad I tried that's a bad
00:55:59choice I live my life from one awkward moment to the next and I do not recommend it well you should
00:56:07you know tons of good things come out of scary conversations uh such as such as going on a date
00:56:12with a girl you like if you're not doing things that scare you you're not living life
00:56:21you know what I guess you have a point all right let's do this date excellent bon appetit
00:56:33these reforms brought rejoicing to many so question if you knew you were going to die
00:56:40in the next 30 days how would you spend the next month well this month I'm in the chem lab for like
00:56:4530 hours and then but you're gonna die dead why would you go to the chem lab because I'm mid
00:56:51experiment Martha burn the planner I like plans I like to know what's gonna happen next is this
00:56:58date putting you on edge no are you having just a little bit of fun yes but you don't know what
00:57:05I have planned next oh no no I'm not gonna do anything crazy I just think sometimes you're
00:57:12so worried about checking off boxes that you're gonna miss out on what's happening right in front
00:57:17of you you're an eat dessert first kind of person aren't you you know it
00:57:24okay if I was gonna die in 30 days I'd go to the beach more amazing I'd spend all my money
00:57:33on an expensive designer jacket there you go and I'd find someone to kiss a lot me too kissing's
00:57:42the best kissing's the best I know what's your favorite place to be kissed huh I I guess I'd
00:57:50have to say my my sharp edges what does that mean my jawline collarbone even my fingers
00:58:00it kind of reminds me where I start and stop this is embarrassing no I think it's sexy what about
00:58:08you where in the world would you like to be kiss like in your apartment or walking down the street
00:58:17the ocean wow that sounds dreamy it is have you ever had sex on a beach no I'm kind of an
00:58:25experienced remember right right well don't it's what I was gonna say you don't have to do that no
00:58:32no it's it's not it's saying it's in your butt crack it's horrible yeah when they do it in the
00:58:37movies it looks horrible hey sorry yeah I didn't mean to make you feel bad no it's fine it is what
00:58:47it is you know it doesn't matter right sure it does most people my age have had tons of sex
00:58:53there you go checking off those boxes and that is also not true my roommate is a virgin great but
00:58:59I don't want to die only having had sex one time and only kissing two people that's pathetic what
00:59:05if you only kiss two people but one of them was your perfect match okay you know what let's say
00:59:10you're right what if I did only kiss two people and what if one of them was my perfect match
00:59:16and now he's dead no I didn't yeah you sure did so yeah I found my guy we kissed we had sex it
00:59:24wasn't even that good it never is the first time thanks I've been told and so now he's dead and I
00:59:30can either have a thousand bad kisses or never kiss anyone again and you know what if any of
00:59:35those kisses are anything like drew longhorns I think I'd rather kiss no one not even me
00:59:43I think I'd rather kiss no one
00:59:47not even me
01:00:05you did this didn't you I have no idea what you're talking about
01:00:08the guitarist outside my window oh come on he has a sign that says for Martha okay all right
01:00:17I asked my roommate to play romantic French music but he insisted on playing Spanish guitar
01:00:24that's really sweet you know what I tried but failed this has just been one complete disaster
01:00:30no it wasn't at all no it's okay we can end this now I'll call my roommate and we'll be done with
01:00:36no don't please this is actually one of the best dates I've ever been on no one's ever really
01:00:42planned a whole night like this just for me look I realize that you haven't been on many dates and
01:00:47that that is that is fine but crying in the middle of it it's not a good sign
01:00:57and look I should never have pushed you so far out of your comfort zone it's it's not okay
01:01:02I'm so sorry Brett no don't apologize no you planned the sweetest date ever and I brought up
01:01:13my dead boyfriend and cried hello I'm Martha and I ruin everything no you didn't ruin anything
01:01:21because that would mean I don't like you anymore and I think I'm into you now more than ever
01:01:26how is that even possible because you're incredibly real I'm not trying to figure
01:01:32out what you're thinking because let's be honest you say it out loud all the time
01:01:38it's not a good thing well I think it is
01:01:45so any other surprises no that was the last one then while our guitarist is on a break I want to
01:01:55play you this new song I'm into okay cool but there's one condition we have to dance like in
01:02:03our rooms or you want me to come over no no no stand up right here right now dance with me okay
01:02:12so you have been waiting all night for you to come and make it right
01:02:17I thought you never heard me like the way you did tonight wait hang on I got the best idea
01:02:26oh
01:02:43oh
01:02:50that was so much fun yeah I haven't danced like that in a long time me neither hey I had
01:02:57a really great time tonight like really great yeah yeah me too Martha yeah I really hope you
01:03:05kiss more than two people in your lifetime oh yeah how come because I plan on being number three
01:03:12I'd like that all right I'll talk to you soon
01:03:27hey nerd why are you calling me well I heard you and Brett are talking or whatever and that is your
01:03:35business how well there's something you should know about Brett what
01:04:05you

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