KUNGFU PANDA CARTOON
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FunTranscript
00:00punching bags Watson you can't hide from my impenetrable hide the ox is in my
00:16uniqueness is to analyze your weakness bingo
00:37not just yet boys we got ourselves a three-way battle blowout my name is
00:44Rhino my source of course is my unstoppable force who cares who wins
00:51those three are disgraced a kung-fu I fear they will all lose until they find
00:59a battle worth fighting yeah hear that all the time did you want to see the
01:05dessert menu okay fellas you know the rules
01:12hey look at this what the palace guards didn't know was the two of the Wu
01:38sisters had already escaped their prisons and we're planning a little
01:41family reunion
02:08sisters yeah what was that a battle worth fighting here's your cut for that
02:24impressive three-way tie what no a tie I won that fight fair and square
02:30ah you must be a comedian because that sounded like a joke to me yeah we'll
02:35laugh it up cuz the real joke is your kung-fu everyone knows your daddy is a
02:39famous kung-fu master but that does not make you a winner I see the fight
02:51continues a fan let me sign that for you how was your name little boy my name is
02:57ogwe oh master ogwe you ogwe is that with two oohs wait a minute this looks
03:06nothing like me the Wu sisters they once took on the entire jackal nation armed
03:11with nothing more than a pair chopsticks together they're more powerful than any
03:16kung-fu master I thought they were locked up they were until mere moments
03:22ago but now they're free and I assure you they'll be seeking revenge you three
03:30must stop them you're not talking about us right the Wu sisters are headed to
03:36their fortress inside the Hu Bay volcano scary isn't it I believe that your
03:43unstoppable force impenetrable hide and tactical brilliance are precisely what
03:49we need to capture them you know this all sounds really fun but what's in it
03:54for me yeah why should we help you because you'd be protecting the
04:00innocent from certain villainy and and using your skills for noble purpose I
04:09can't help but feel something is still missing because upon completing the
04:16mission you'll discover the path to a wealth of riches
04:26I'm proud of you my son
04:46there's no place like fortress now back to business tell us dear sister what
04:53diabolical plan have you concocted yes what is our next move hmm while I was
05:00locked away I had a revelation if all of China's gangs stopped fighting and
05:05joined forces we could run this country and even the Imperial Army would be
05:10unable to stop us criminal syndicate precisely we will send a message to the
05:17heads of all the evil clans I'm calling a meeting at Wu fortress in two days the
05:27topic of discussion will be the joining of villainous forces or total control of
05:32China once and for all
05:43so the three went off with you way to find the riches they were after they
05:49boldly passed through fire lake mightily traced through the forest of pain stopped
05:56for a picnic lunch at the jagged cliffs of death plowed through the fields of
06:01cheery blossoms which would have been a much better place for lunch and bounded
06:06across the bamboo forest each fighter only out for himself my friend I have a
06:13proposition is that so I propose we don't need these guys pull that thought
06:18hello hello we don't need those two I say we dump the baggage hey I can see my
06:24swamp I'll give you a tenth of the take it's generous I know
06:28okay let us cut to the chase I can take care and then crock will buy a castle
06:47with a rooftop balcony where I can wave to my adoring fans wearing on my capes
06:54it's so nice to see you've managed to take the most respected art form in
07:00China and use it to pursue nothing but fame and the fortune don't forget about
07:05the fortune then I can quit wasting my time on street fighting and spend it
07:10counting my money oh yes I like the money and what about you I know I'm in it
07:18for my own reasons so just let's leave it at that okay ah yes your father it
07:26must be hard being the son of a kung fu master I know how you can all get what
07:32you want not just fame and fortune and how's that by changing course when the
07:41path you walk always leads back to yourself you'd never get anywhere well
07:48good night we've got a big day tomorrow that was the worst campfire story I have
07:53ever heard no time for sleep we leave for the fortress at once wait what why
07:58didn't you just say good night who sisters are unifying all the gang
08:02leaders to lay siege on China and how do you know this a little birdie told me
08:09hey how's it going let's go then do we have any sort of plan I do oh you do
08:23well great you think you might want to share that with the rest of us I don't
08:30the bridge of misses it's steep okay how do we get across by working together I
08:43don't know what's in that green head of yours but there is no way we're gonna
08:47get what's wrong with you I knew we shouldn't have trusted him whoa what was
08:56we must get across and your solution is to hurl us to our deaths not exactly
09:02stay away from me and where are you going
09:19oh excuse me but how exactly does this help us get across it doesn't it helps
09:32me and by helping me you help yourself
09:49not quite time to celebrate yet the most treacherous part of the journey
09:57lies just ahead
10:10isn't there like a back door or something fortress my leg something's
10:17got my leg oh no that's just me oh oh this mountain she's impossible
10:28no kidding I mean it's hard enough climbing up here how are we supposed to
10:33get back down carrying our riches oh I think you will find that the riches
10:37awaiting you will lighten your burden oh it's paper money got it where I never
10:43said money you did I said riches as in emotional riches we've been conned my
10:52father always said never trust a turtle wait a second no money that's the only
10:56reason we followed you was it hold it Shelly
11:13Oh
11:26remember the past
11:35wait no
11:43Oh
11:45Oh
11:47Oh
11:50Oh
11:53Oh
12:10where do we go from here we only trace our steps and find our way home I guess
12:22but who way said remember the path yeah the path back home face it right now
12:29we'll never be more than a bunch of lousy street fighters he's right we
12:33couldn't beat each other up let alone the Wu sisters I say we go back down
12:38before it gets too dark you coming
12:52Oh
13:23are they gone the Wu sisters they they took everything
13:33misunderstand we're sorry but we can't help you you fight for money right
13:43you
13:50no we fight for honor
14:01it's time to change course
14:06and with our forces combined we can take control of China village by village
14:18games over kitties we're gonna put your tails back in jail hmm the street
14:26fighters I watched you from my cell how much is the Imperial Army paying you to
14:32arrest us why does everyone think we only do things for money because you do
14:37no we did so much for combining forces
15:03it is no use they have too much power then one of us yes but together
15:17bingo their connection it's the source of their power we have to break them
15:23apart they're spinning too fast I can't get a clear shot
15:33Oh getting hot that way that way
15:39right oh we need a bullseye I'm way ahead
16:02I'm not the only one hearing this right
16:14it's a sign what does it mean
16:21master Oogway you're alive but we saw you fall to your death no you saw me
16:29fall so did you find the riches you were seeking you know I think we did I
16:37never doubted you would your father will be proud as am I
16:48come on right how great a story is that the path Oogway set them on eventually
16:55led them to Gongman City where they formed the master's council you see the
16:59soothsayer had predicted oh we were there whoa look at this Shifu exhibit
17:06it's so lifelike you can almost feel the anger coming out of them what are you
17:13doing here I couldn't wait for the museum to open hmm you too may go the
17:21door was locked so I found you know another way in here the blade of
17:27Master Eagle used it against the hyenas of undone it's not the blade of
17:31pouting it's the dagger of dang wah it is not the dagger of dang wah the shank
17:36of Shantu it's a trowel used by you to repair the hole you made in my ceiling
17:43doors open in 20 minutes don't disappoint me 20 minutes I can do this I
17:53have the skills the moves I can patch the most ruthless of ceilings the
17:57deadliest of times
18:02Shifu Shifu Shifu is there a security guard
18:11now at least I can get a nice power nap in ice cream one Johnson monkey ate my
18:22homework
18:41so
19:11you
19:41you
19:43you
19:45you
19:47you
19:49you
19:51you
19:59you
20:11you ready ready's my middle name what do we got gang of terrible rhinos crocs
20:28rabid wolves let's do it be warned this may be the toughest challenge you've
20:33ever had to face introduction to kung-fu class can I use the wooshie
20:46finger hold on him I'd try not to remember Poe each generation teaches the
20:51next one and so the art of kung-fu lives on in you and now in these delightful
21:01children what good luck wait a second mr. Schieffer
21:10okay if you could just take a seat hello hey hey settle down now okay
21:23get those cotton tails on the floor yes thank you yes now we're really gonna
21:35start kicking but now hold on kicking butt is just a small part of kung-fu
21:40it's awesome it's small kung-fu means excellence of self being the best you
21:46can be that's what it's about bunnies the furious five huh they are cool aren't
22:00they but it wasn't fighting that made them amazing no they each had to learn
22:04the secrets of kung-fu before they became excellent I shouldn't really say
22:11that's why it's a secret