best funny show (4)
amazing funny show
Transcript
00:00Dosto yeh meri regular teen comedy video nahi hai
00:02Yeh roast comedy hai, jiske ndar bhaasha thodi abhadr hai
00:04Batana mera fars tha, baaki aapke isch hai
00:30Bahut karni peet peeche baatein, ab moonpe kartein
01:00Bhai isne bola kaise yeh?
01:01Agar aap aise hi khasan hai, main bandhe toh bhi
01:27Meri audience itni kharab hai
01:29Maine aaj ke show ki story dali
01:32Aur pata na unhone meri se kya poosha
01:34Khooma bhi aayegi
01:37Unhe bharosa hi nahi hai
01:39Ki main yeh pull off kar sakta hu
01:41Arey kyu nahi aayegi, tumhne unki last kuch movies ki collection nahi dekhi kya?
01:46Bilkul aayegi
01:48Aapke birthday party mein
01:52Aap bola ke kyu nahi deng rahe hain bhaat
01:54Aap unko likho, Instagram pe big fan keti, main bhi
01:56Samjh raho?
01:59Bollywood mein kuch log star hote hain
02:01Kuch hote hain
02:05Toh ab hum unko bulaenge
02:07Jo hain
02:09Please start clapping
02:11Please make some noise and welcome
02:13Khooma Tureshi
02:23Hi guys
02:26Well
02:28Fire's
02:30Fire on
02:32Save it for the last
02:34Dono ki English kharab hai
02:38Jo log Khooma ko nahi jaante hain
02:40Kaun hai bhi wo?
02:42Kaun ki jaanta?
02:44Kaafi hai
02:46Tu toh jaanta hai na
02:48Nahi nahi mai jaanta ho
02:50Main ko toh balki is rosh ke chakkar mein pata chala ki
02:52Aap aur Sonakshi toh alag log hain
02:56Yeh paparazzi bhi
02:58Inki piche padha raha tha bhai
03:00Aise bolte raha tha, ma'am hat jao side hat jao ma'am please
03:02Alia aa rahi hai piche se
03:04Paparazzi nikname nahi rakhte
03:06Inka hai side please
03:08Aap se yada famous Ehsaan Tureshi hai, pata aapko?
03:12Usse fir bhi log jaante hain
03:14Log kehte ho, unki beti hai kya?
03:16Arre nahi unki, unki beti thodi hai ye
03:18Inki naam me bhi shurvaat
03:20Hu se hota hai, unknown hai ye
03:22Main kahe raha hoon
03:26Toh nero ko nahi pata hai
03:28Inke fathar ka Salim naam se
03:30Bahot badhi restaurant chain hai
03:32Inke fathar ki hai
03:34Unke roles zyada famous hai
03:40Aap batao, aapka kaisa lag raha hai
03:42Aapko Delhi aage?
03:44Abhi tak toh acha lag raha tha
03:46Ab pata nahi
03:48Waise Mumbai mein rehti hai
03:51Toh
03:53Toh Delhi kaun sa kharaab sehra hai yaar
03:55Bhai gang toh Wasseypur mein thi hai yaar na
03:57Ek baar
03:59Haan haan
04:01Itna
04:03Uss room mein jo toh sab grow kar gaye yaar
04:07Sab
04:09Oye sab ka acha dal raha hai, aise aise mata so
04:11Bhai Nawaz sir ki itni movies aa rahi hai
04:13Pankaj sir ki aise web series itni badi bana di
04:15Unhone inka bhi naya restaurant khulla hai
04:17Mehrauli ke kone mein
04:20Jaha ke khayiye ka kuch
04:22Discount nahi milne wala, bata hai na
04:24Discount nahi nahi, aapko paise toh chahiye hai
04:32Yaar yeh mein toh block kartegi bhai
04:36Release tak toh nahi karna
04:38Sponsor nahi mila, khudi ki paise dal raha hai
04:44Aur aadi log family members hai
04:46Kaise? Solanki khandan wale
04:50Now she know how it feels
04:54But please have a seat yaar
04:56Please make some noise for her
04:58Thank you
05:02Toh humne yaha pe aapke side mein contract rakha hoa hai
05:04Jisko aapko pehle
05:06Kholke padhna hoga, sign karna hoga
05:08Phiri hi hum chutkule karenge bhai, case bahut ho raha hai aaj kal
05:10Padhlo aaram se
05:12Main aapko padhke sunao, kya kya likha hai uske andar
05:14Ya please, kyuki spelling mistake kaafi hai isme
05:17Yaha pe na, aapke alawa chaar log aur perform karenge
05:19Toh screen time aapka yaha pe bhi kam hi hai
05:29Baad mein mat bolna ki, yeh toh apna career banane ke liye
05:31Main aapko bula liya, aapka khud ka kaha hai
05:37Aur sab ke aur, main gawa mein, main yaha pe gawa bula hai
05:39Ke gawa ke saamne ho raha hai jo ho raha hai
05:41Itni audience mein toh picture hit bol deti hai yeh
05:47Sab kuch pehli Arun saab ko batara hoon, phir baad mein mat bolna
05:49Permission lena chahiye tha na
05:51Bina permission ke kaha hai kar rahe hoon
05:53Ek seekh, tum is joke pe nahi aas rahe hoon
05:55Main ko lagta hai, wo wala bhi humare beech mein hi famous hai
05:59Yeh 3 saag launde hi dheete jaa rahe hain kya
06:03Aise tatti tarike se bolenge, toh kaise aasenge
06:09Dekhiye, itna toh aapko pata hona chahiye
06:11Ki joke jo likha hai, wo nahi padhna hota hai
06:13Delivery pe hota hai
06:17Bariya
06:19Is pe aap sign kar dijega
06:21Aur bahot time baad baise bhi kuch sign kar rahe ho
06:29Nawaz bhai ka sign kar diya
06:37Bhai usko kusam kar dete hai
06:39Inhone kaha, Nawaz bhai toh yuh karte hai
06:41Humi roast karenge
06:43Uske liye huma apne panel ko bulayenge yaha pe zorda thali ke beech mein
06:46Let's make some noise and welcome the panel for tonight
06:48Abish Mathew
06:52Shashi Dheevan
06:54Devesh Dixit
06:58And Nishant Dharwaj
07:06Shashi Dheevan
07:10Shashi Dheevan ka comedy passion hai
07:12Aur inka passion dekh ke logne bola
07:14Hum job pe ja rahe hain
07:16Agar ye passion hota hai toh
07:18Devesh Dixit ko jaante hain aap log?
07:20Devesh Dixit
07:22Aap toh jaante hi ho hai na
07:24Inki aankhi billi jaisi, baatein kutte jaisi
07:28Nishant Tanwar sir bhi yaha pe hain
07:32Nishant Tanwar sir pehle NDTV mein gaam karte the
07:34Haan, haan waqeet mein NDTV mein gaam karte the
07:36Inme aur Ravish Kuwar mein ek similarity hai
07:38Dondaka prime time jaa chuka hai
07:42Abish Mathew is here
07:46Jinn logon ne Abish ki comedy dekhi hai
07:48Jis din inne shuru kara tha na
07:50Us date pe hum comedy ki barsi manate hain
07:52Bahut sweet aadmi hai yaar
07:54Patna nahi divorce kyu hua
07:58Abish kitna sa hai, dekha tumne
08:00Yeh Rapido pe bike manga tha hain
08:02Inne aage tankhi bhi bitha jate hain
08:06Yeh itne chote hain, inne khane se pehle
08:08Main Bon Appetite bolta hu
08:12Please start clapping and welcome Abish Mathew
08:18Hello, please give it up for
08:20Aashish Solanki everybody
08:22Aashish Solanki
08:24If you look at Aashish, he's got such childish innocence
08:26No?
08:28Such childish innocence
08:30His wife should be booked for child marriage
08:32Because sunni mein hain
08:34Inone swaag raat ka doodh bhi complying ke saath hi piya tha
08:36Phir beeve ji ne dakar marke
08:38Sula diya
08:41I was trying to do a lot of research about Aashish
08:43And I was trying to find out
08:45And I was like, what does he look like?
08:47I realised
08:49This is the only comedian that I've seen
08:51Who has the face of Supandi
08:53Comedic voice of Shinchan
08:55And the nose of Pinocchio
08:59If your nose was any longer
09:01You'd be called Shashi Dhiman
09:07Aashish is from Burari
09:10And started his comedy in 2018
09:12That means he started his career
09:14When a family ended theirs
09:18Then in 2022, he won Comicstan 3
09:20And Amazon Prime Video
09:22Has forever cancelled the show
09:26You're clearly killing it for the wrong reason
09:30From Aashish, let's move on to
09:32Devesh Dixit everybody
09:34Please give it up for Devesh
09:37So much research I had to put
09:39Doesn't Devesh look like a guy
09:41Bollywood would cast
09:43When they ran out of money to hire foreigners
09:49You know in 2021
09:51You had long hair
09:53You look like Preetam and Jugal Hansraj had a baby
09:57And then was adopted by
09:59Neil Nitin Mukesh
10:02Devesh tweets like
10:04A drunk uncle texting
10:06He said
10:08Doston
10:10Kabhi kabhi
10:12Tandoori
10:14Rato mein Himesh bhai ki
10:16Yaad to aati hogi
10:22Next
10:24He said Tim Cook ne bhi
10:26Dukaan daali bhai
10:28Apna kaam to apna hi hota hai
10:32I feel like
10:34Aisa hi gand
10:36Tumko phelana tha
10:38Toh bas crowd work kar lete hain
10:40Now let's move on to
10:42Shashi Dhiman everybody
10:44Please give it up for Shashi Dhiman
10:48Yaar mujhe aisa lagta hai ki
10:50Shashi Dhiman ko lagta hai ki setup ke baad
10:52Setup aata hai
10:54Aur punchlines
10:56Audience comment mein likh de
10:58Your punchlines
11:00Are like PM care funds
11:02No one knows where it is
11:06Shashi thinks laughter
11:08Is the best medicine
11:10But Shashi your jokes are like
11:12Chemotherapy
11:14Yaar your audience
11:16Are called survivors
11:18Your audience enters the show
11:20Looking like Devesh
11:22Exits looking like Nishant Singh Kanna
11:28Talking about
11:30Nishant Singh Tanwar
11:32Everybody please give it up for Nishant Singh Tanwar
11:34The most known
11:36Unknown person on this panel
11:38He goes by the name
11:40Joke Singh, Rider OP
11:42Nishant Singh Tanwar
11:44But no one calls him funny
11:46Like how does it feel
11:48To be in the scene for so long
11:50Still to be known as the second funniest Nishant
11:54Did you know that
11:56Long ago Zakir Khan used to open
11:58For Nishant Singh Tanwar
12:00And then Nishant Singh Tanwar started opening for Zakir Khan
12:02Not shows
12:04Doors, bottles, napkins, car doors
12:10That's why he's saying
12:12Arey gaadi bhai chalayega
12:16Khulki na gaadi na career chalti hai matlab
12:18Nishant doesn't pick up the phone
12:20Saying hello
12:22He picks up the phone saying hukum
12:26Nishant tries to act
12:28Really black
12:30Like he even
12:32Carries a gun for security
12:34Tanmay security
12:38Finally let's move on
12:40To our guest for the evening
12:42Please give it up for Huma Qureshi
12:46Aapne sign kar liya na
12:48First time I heard Huma Qureshi
12:50When she popped in the scene
12:52I was like it sounds like a lehenga shop
12:54Which sells furniture also
12:58She's got passion for theatre
13:00As the only film actor
13:02Who enjoys the success popularity
13:04Of a theatre actor
13:06She is a culinary royalty
13:08Her father started and runs
13:10One of the best restaurants in Delhi
13:12Called Salim's
13:16I have personally ordered
13:18I ate, it was great
13:20I didn't even know it was related to you
13:22The main selling items at Salim's
13:24Are Huma and Saqib's box office returns
13:30The only 5 star the family has got
13:32Is on Zomato
13:34The only thing the family is proud to raise
13:36Is yeast
13:40Also why did you agree to do this
13:42This is the worst thing you've done
13:44After Nawazuddin Siddiqui
13:46Apparently in an interview
13:48He said that
13:50He called me brother
13:52I was like thank god
13:58Huma Qureshi has recently
14:00Debuted her novel called Zeba
14:02Which is a story of an
14:04Accidental superhero
14:06For this they did a campaign
14:08On social media
14:10Where people were to comment
14:12Their accidental superhero
14:14Of their life
14:16And the reward was a handwritten note
14:18From Huma herself
14:22What a terrible marketing idea
14:28Why would anyone
14:30Want a handwritten note
14:32Of Huma Qureshi
14:34When nobody even wants
14:36Her autograph
14:40Huma writes with love on her cheque
14:42Cheque is something you get
14:44When you actually work
14:46With that that brings us
14:48To the end of the roast
14:50Please give it up for Abish Mathew
14:52Have a good night
14:58Now everyone speaks Hindi
15:10I thought Huma started reading books
15:12Who reads that?
15:14Who reads that?
15:16Make some noise for Abish Mathew
15:20Next roaster is Shashi Dheeman
15:24Shashi Seeman was born before
15:26Leave it
15:28Leave it
15:30Incompetent
15:32Incompetent
15:34Sir
15:36I cleaned it with your tar
15:38Shashi
15:40Shashi is a very negative girl
15:42Very negative
15:44She has two therapists
15:46One of them
15:48Beats the other
15:50Please welcome
15:52Shashi Dheeman
15:56First of all for Abish Mathew
15:58He's been trying
16:00For the past 15 years
16:0215 years later
16:04In his entire roast
16:06He beats
16:10Give it up for Ashish
16:12Make some noise
16:14Make some noise
16:16Because his wife doesn't
16:20Ashish is not like that
16:22Ashish is from Burari
16:24But more than him
16:26His neighbours are doing it
16:28Look at Ashish's face
16:30He's such an uncle
16:32His wife calls him Jate
16:36Ashish
16:38Look at his face
16:40He won Comicstan
16:42I think he got 10 lakhs
16:44You must be imagining
16:50He got 10 lakhs
16:52But he doesn't look active
16:56He's a very cultured guy
16:58His wife used to ask him for nudes
17:00He used to send his childhood photos
17:02He said it didn't matter much
17:06Give it up for Ashish
17:10He's not old himself
17:12His audience is old
17:14He can never get a standing ovation
17:18Where are the rest of the fans?
17:20On Instagram?
17:22His dialysis is on
17:24Ashish is a good guy
17:26He worked hard
17:28He made a concept show
17:30But no one's career works
17:32Right Abish?
17:36Give it up for Abish
17:38Who read the whole dictionary
17:42Abish is so small
17:44His career is smaller than Abish
17:48Abish is so small
17:50He calls chopsticks a stick
17:58But Abish
18:00He said it himself
18:02Girls need a sense of humour
18:06Give it up for Abish
18:12Talking about wives
18:14Let's talk about Tanmay's wife
18:18Nishant Tanwar is here
18:20Give it up for Nishant Tanwar
18:24How do I roast Nishant?
18:26He himself
18:32Nishant has a special
18:34Your brother will do it
18:36He wasn't telling a joke
18:38He was talking about his future
18:42Nishant
18:44Remove your glasses
18:46Doesn't he look like he sells Jamuns?
18:50Jamuns are here
18:52Jamuns are here
18:54Jamuns are here
19:02Nishant is touring with a crowd work special
19:04Which is called
19:06Please don't interrupt me
19:08And it's a success
19:10Because there is no one to interrupt him
19:12I can't say much about crowd work
19:14Because Divesh has said it all
19:16Give it up for Divesh Dixit
19:18Give it up for Divesh
19:22Divesh had a famous video
19:24In which he said
19:26Crowd work is a scam
19:28If someone does crowd work
19:30Tell them to stop it
19:32When Divesh is on stage
19:34People still say the same thing
19:36Woooo
19:46But I respect Divesh a lot
19:48Genuinely
19:50He is a purist, he is a true artist
19:52He doesn't do crowd work
19:54He just comes to sell soyabean on Instagram
20:02Divesh
20:04Before he did crowd work
20:06He was in Asian Paints
20:08Whose tagline is
20:10Every house says something
20:12Every house is telling Divesh to f**k off
20:14Did you hear the joke?
20:18Sorry
20:22Let's
20:24Move to the
20:26Final person
20:28Hara Bhara Kebab
20:30Huma Qureshi
20:32Huma is from our family
20:34Because we are brothers
20:36Huma
20:38Wearing green doesn't make you a red flag
20:42Huma
20:44Do you remember Nishant?
20:46Sakaala Re
20:48Saila Kaala Re
20:52You look good
20:54We talk about actors
20:56I don't feel like looking at you
20:58Huma
21:00Huma is the only South Delhi girl
21:02Who looks like she is from Meerut
21:12After looking at Huma's airport looks
21:14Paparazzi starts standing outside the station
21:20Huma
21:22Huma is praised a lot
21:24If you look at Huma's Wikipedia
21:26Huma is great compared to Smita Patil
21:30But unfortunately
21:32Smita Patil died at the age of 31
21:34So Huma, you are late
21:40I am sorry, she is late
21:42You are very late Huma
21:44Give it up for Huma Qureshi
21:46Welcome back
21:48Make some noise for her
21:50Give it up for Devesh Dixit
21:52Give it up for Devesh Dixit
21:54Give it up for Devesh Dixit
21:56Devesh has a love marriage
21:58He had a lot of problems
22:00When he was told that the girl was 14
22:02He agreed
22:04Rajasthani boy
22:08Doesn't Devesh look like
22:10The guy who sells cheap hotels
22:12The cheap hotel room
22:14Which is 600 rupees
22:16But doesn't need video
22:18Devesh never shows off
22:20And he told me this
22:26Everyone says he is an introvert
22:28Mysterious personality
22:30No, he went to Rhodes to audition
22:32Do you know that?
22:34After that I couldn't show my face
22:36When he was 17, he really auditioned for Rhodes
22:38And he tells us how to do comedy
22:42Go and wash your face with someone's urine
22:44Go and wash your face with someone's urine
22:46Okay?
22:48Go and sleep on a dusty bench
22:50Get a bad operation
22:52He will tell us how to do comedy
22:54When does he take a bath?
22:58He shows off a lot
23:00In a race, in school
23:02At the end he says he lost to everyone
23:06Please welcome, Devesh Dixit
23:14I don't feel like roasting him
23:18He is a very bad boy
23:20I don't feel like
23:22He is very decent
23:24A thief broke into Ashish's house
23:26People told him
23:28That a thief broke into your house
23:30He said he didn't break in
23:32He is an adult
23:36Talk to him with respect
23:40Looking at Ashish, he must know
23:42Which platform he will be on
23:52Ashish doesn't kill mosquitoes
23:54He makes them understand
23:56That change your path
24:02You are on the wrong path
24:08He is a very decent man
24:10He shows off a lot
24:12He takes a bath with his eyes closed
24:16He doesn't even want to see himself naked
24:22I asked him his wife's name
24:24He told me not to talk naughty
24:30He ran away
24:36He is a very decent boy
24:40His spot is called the Hanji spot
24:58On Ashish's wedding night
25:02His room was screaming
25:04His
25:06What are you doing?
25:16No, I pee from here
25:18Where did you learn all this?
25:36I will tell your mother
25:38I will tell your mother
25:46No, he is a good boy
25:54Give it up for Nishant
25:56Nishant is with us
25:58Nishant
26:00Some people know him as Joke Singh
26:02But most of the people
26:04Know him as unsuccessful Zakir
26:06Nishant tried a lot
26:08To follow Zakir
26:10He is a tough guy
26:12He tried a lot
26:14To stick to something
26:16He tried a lot
26:18He tried a lot
26:20He tried a lot
26:22People are not following him
26:24Because Nishant
26:26You have to be cool
26:30You try Vinod Kamli
26:32People will come with you
26:36100% guarantee
26:38Why are you running away from the truth?
26:42His special was
26:44Your brother will drive
26:46The audience said
26:48You drive
26:52Nice Ola and Uber
26:54You get good money
26:56Nishant did stand up
26:58He rapped
27:00Now
27:02There is only one thing left
27:06Leave
27:08I am begging you
27:10Shashi Dhiman is with us
27:14I don't know why
27:22Shashi Dhiman was brought
27:24To this show
27:26Because the tickets were going fast
27:30People
27:32Started calling
27:34We need a group booking
27:36He was put on the poster
27:38They asked for a refund
27:40My mother passed away
27:48I was looking into this
27:50I came to know
27:52Abhishek Upmanyu gave
27:54Shashi Dhiman the first stage time
27:56I slapped him
28:00I slap him every day
28:02I slap him every morning
28:04I am spending a lot
28:06He stays on tour
28:10I have to go to Sasa
28:14I slap him every day
28:16He came to Chandigarh
28:18I had to slap him in front of
28:20Uncle and Aunty
28:22I told the reason
28:24Uncle and Aunty slapped him
28:26Uncle kicked him
28:28Aunty brought nunchucks
28:30I asked where did you get this
28:32She said move away
28:34I will kill you
28:36I said it's not that bad
28:38Shashi
28:40She said you don't know
28:42Women only know women
28:48Abish Mathew is also here
28:52Abish did a series called
28:54Journey of a Joke
28:56He calls comedians
28:58And makes them understand
29:02How jokes are written
29:06No one is able to make him understand
29:10He doesn't understand
29:12He has finished the series
29:14Seasons are coming
29:16Journey of a Joke
29:18Abish I think you should try
29:20Journey of a Job
29:22Do that
29:24It will be good
29:26Abish does crowd work very well
29:28Abish goes into the crowd
29:30And asks them if there is any work in their house
29:34I slap him
29:36I don't have to bend much
29:38I stay close to the ground
29:42Just remove the bucket
29:44I have drowned twice
29:50Abish hosted Comicstaan
29:52He hosted it
29:54He was the permanent host
29:56He had a female host
29:58She changed every year
30:00Which just proves the point
30:02No woman can handle him
30:12Now we are talking about women
30:14Huma
30:20Huma the first thing is
30:24That I love you
30:36A lot
30:40You can't even imagine
30:44Don't think
30:46But I do
30:48I can do anything for you
30:50I can give my life for you
30:52Or take it
30:58I wrote a letter for you
31:00From Ashish Solanki
31:02So I could write only two lines
31:08There is very less blood in it
31:10I had to write with a pen
31:14I have set everything at home
31:16I have divorced my son
31:18And sent my wife to boarding school
31:20I have gone mad seeing you
31:24I have divorced my dad
31:26Everything is set at home
31:30My son is calling you Huma Mummy
31:34He has been saying since morning
31:36Are you going to Huma Mummy's roast?
31:38Bring Huma Mummy
31:40I will take good care of you
31:44I am even ready to change my name
31:46You know
31:48I will fit
31:50Devesh Kureshi
31:58Co-owner Salim
32:04I saw
32:06You did a dare with Madhur Dixit
32:08So you like Dixit
32:10You like Dixit
32:12I know that
32:16Madhur did a dare
32:18I will do 2.5
32:22Let's do 3.5
32:24Neither yours nor mine
32:264.25
32:28Finally
32:36Let's not do this in public
32:40I am bleeding
32:44Sorry
32:48I want tea at 9 in the morning
32:54I want towel dry
32:56It should not be wet
32:58We will not be able to talk in public
33:04See you inside
33:06That is my time
33:08Devesh Dixit
33:18Devesh Dixit
33:22He has been doing good
33:24He does good every time
33:26I saw him for the first time
33:28When he did the third dare in FIR serial
33:34He is doing great
33:36Our next player
33:38Retired
33:40Nishant Tanwar
33:46Nishant Tanwar does not look like Mario's final boss
33:56I have a photo of him
33:58Look at the photo
34:00No no
34:02Back side
34:06Back side
34:14When Nishant Tanwar was born
34:16Doctor said he is a lion
34:20Nishant Tanwar is a miser
34:22He takes his oil in spa
34:24Please welcome Nishant Tanwar
34:32Roast master Ashish
34:36Looking at him
34:38I feel like Sandeep Maheshwari
34:40Had sex with Daniel Radcliffe
34:44Daniel Radcliffe is a Hollywood actor
34:48Comicstan won
34:50Because someone else
34:52Performed badly
34:56His career is because someone else
34:58Gave him a hug
35:00Today we heard a lot
35:02A lot
35:04But for the first time
35:06Shashi Dhiman
35:10This is his career's highest point
35:12This will go on his wikipedia
35:16For those who don't know
35:18Shashi is in Haryana
35:20And that's the reason we have gay men in Haryana
35:24And female feticide
35:28Shashi looks like
35:30Ashish Solanki with down syndrome
35:34Devesh
35:36Down syndrome is a genetic disorder
35:38That might happen when two people
35:40Have intercourse and make a baby
35:42Huma
35:44Intercourse is not same as main course
35:48That you get in a restaurant
35:50Shashi
35:52Restaurant is a place where
35:54People go to eat
35:56Food
35:58Abish
36:00Rich people
36:02So Abish
36:04Rich means when people have money
36:06And luxury
36:08Abish
36:10Give it up for Abish
36:12Abish's entire
36:14Career is
36:16Tell me how to write a joke
36:20Abish's Amazon Prime
36:22Video has an hour long comedy special
36:24No that's not the joke
36:28Only two people have seen that special
36:30And there are five people in his family
36:34Devesh
36:38You don't know
36:40I know him as Mayyat
36:42Devesh is so bad
36:44He made me fall in love with Manik Maana
36:46Huma Manik is a comedian
36:48Abish a comedian is somebody
36:52Who is supposed to be funny and crack jokes
36:56When I am talking about crack
36:58I am talking about cocaine
37:02Ashish talking means talking
37:06Multi talented, successful
37:08Hardworking, great actress
37:10Beautiful, charming and an amazing human being
37:12But I am not here to talk about
37:14Deepika Padukone
37:18Huma, I don't know
37:20Which MMS Ashish has
37:24Because of which he had to come here
37:26My career is not doing well
37:30But I am jealous of Huma
37:32Even after doing so many movies
37:34A decade long career
37:36She can still roam the streets
37:38And no one recognizes her
37:40We have to wear masks
37:42But guys Huma
37:44Started from the bottom
37:46Still there
37:50Give it up for Huma, thank you
37:56Now she is in basement
37:58Nishant Anwar
38:00Yes
38:04Our last player
38:06Huma Qureshi
38:08Everyone says
38:10Huma looked beautiful in Gangs of Basipur
38:12If you have
38:18A bald Manoj Bajpai
38:20A butcher Pankaj Tripathi
38:22And an old man Piyush Mishra
38:24Then you will look beautiful
38:26Then Nishant Bhai will shine
38:30In his movies
38:32There is an audience cameo
38:36He gets so few movies
38:38That he will now get a Filmware Award
38:40Where is the film?
38:42When will it come?
38:44Will anything happen?
38:46Huma Naan Bana
38:48Huma
38:50Customers have come
38:54If someone takes a movie near Huma
38:56She says, swear on your mother
38:58Sakshi
39:00No
39:02This time it shouldn't be Nawaz
39:04Please make some noise for Huma Qureshi
39:18Many times I have been asked
39:20Why did I come here?
39:22I thought
39:24This is a Basti Show
39:26I swear
39:28I came here and found out
39:30This is the Pretty Good Rose Show
39:34First of all, there was nothing pretty good about this show
39:36Neither pretty
39:38Nor good
39:40And you call this Rose?
39:42Come let's see what Rose is
39:44After doing so much shit comedy
39:46He is still sitting here
39:48And smiling
39:50He can do it
39:52Doesn't look like it
39:54Let's start with Devesh
39:56Hi Devesh
39:58What does he look like?
40:00Cheap Taimur
40:02If he had a beard
40:04If you mute his show
40:06He will look like he is giving a sermon
40:08No?
40:10Some Baba is sitting and talking
40:12His wife told him
40:14I got to know
40:16Darling, let's try one more kid
40:18He said no
40:20I don't stand up
40:22It's been 13 years
40:28You were in sales before that?
40:30And you did sales for 8 years
40:32And comedy for 8 years
40:34Still can't do sales?
40:36Okay, okay
40:40His career is not going well
40:42If you put a board of Salim on his forehead
40:44Who knows
40:48Now let's come to Nishan
40:50Looking at him
40:54How does he look?
40:56Like Zakir Bhai's ski pad
41:02If Nishan lies on Zakir's lap
41:04He will look like Zakir
41:12His child is his or Tanmay's?
41:14Because he gave birth to him
41:16But raised Tanmay
41:18More than us
41:20Nishan's hair is smarter
41:28We are sitting here
41:30But apart from hair
41:32Now let's come to
41:34Shashi
41:38Shashi, I was so happy
41:40To see you
41:42When women do well
41:44I feel good
41:46And especially stand up
41:48Because it's such a male-dominated space
41:50A girl is doing stand up
41:52Come on
41:54Are you praising me?
41:56Very genuinely
41:58Thank you
42:00Can't believe it
42:02First time with you
42:06I get very angry
42:08When people say
42:10Girls can't do stand up
42:12No, girls can do stand up
42:14Shashi can't do stand up
42:16So don't
42:18Let me tell you a joke
42:20Apart from my career
42:24Shashi is so vain
42:26That she calls herself
42:28Very busy
42:30And if this episode doesn't air
42:32So guys just remember
42:34It's because of Shashi
42:36And because the show didn't air
42:38Abish is also here
42:42Abish
42:46Jesus hates you
42:52Jesus hates you bro
42:54If you want any proof
42:56Look no further than that face
42:58That hair
43:00And that height
43:04Looking at his hair
43:06He looks like a maddie 2 minute noodle
43:082 minute but I'm not referring to the hair
43:14Abish is so short
43:16He can't even bend over
43:18He just needs to point
43:20See I just want to clarify
43:22You didn't get any sponsor
43:24You're running it with your own money
43:26Your wife is here right?
43:30What did you see when you married him?
43:32Looks were good
43:34Jokes were good
43:36What did you like?
43:38Nothing
43:40Look carefully
43:42What do you think?
43:44Maths professor?
43:46He can sell insurance
43:48But look carefully
43:50He said if I come here
43:52I'll get a lot of scars
43:54My career will be ruined
43:56He tried
43:58He tried really hard
44:00But standard you're seeing
44:02It's really okay
44:04Try next time
44:06Call me next season
44:08If there is a next season
44:10Babuji
44:12Look at him
44:14He's teaching kids
44:16What are you saying?
44:18What are you saying?
44:28You're so innocent
44:30Poor thing
44:32You'll know when you go home
44:36Jewelry is sold
44:40House is sold
44:42And thank you guys for having me here
44:44It was so great fun
44:46I could have said a lot more
44:48About my father and grandfather
44:50But on such cheap people
44:52Why ruin such a good joke
44:56Make some noise
45:00That is the end of the show
45:02But at the end of every show
45:04We give a gift to our guests
45:06Come here
45:08We give a gift to our guests
45:10Things they generally don't get
45:12So
45:14No one will invite you
45:18So at the end
45:20They get you to sign a coffee mug
45:22I want to give you that opportunity
45:28Please
45:30Sign it
45:36Namaz bhai is listening
45:42Thank you
45:52Thank you so much for coming
45:54Thank you so much
45:56Thank you everyone
45:58I'm Matthew
46:00My name is Ashik Olumpi
46:02Good night
46:12Well done
46:14Thank you
46:16Why didn't you say it on stage?
46:18When did anyone say that to you on stage?
46:22There's no time to set up
46:24She'll go on stage
46:30Abish, I wanted to ask one thing
46:32Is it okay if I joke on your posts?
46:36Hi everyone
46:38Hi, how are you doing?
46:40What's your name?
46:42Very nervous
46:44I'll make 5-6 jokes on you
46:46Introduction of Huma Kareem
46:48And then I'll ask you to have a seat
46:50You go there and have a seat
46:52Keep laughing
46:54I won't
46:56You'll laugh a lot
47:00It's nothing like that
47:02I've kept it very soft
47:04Hi, how are you?
47:061, 2, 1, 2, audio check
47:08I didn't take it seriously
47:10I came here and saw 70-80 people running around
47:12I was like
47:14What's happening?
47:16I had a lot of fun
47:18What a flow
47:20I had a lot of fun
47:22At least you learnt something from me
47:24One joke is done
47:26Stop it